Memoirs of a Serpent's Son

Memoirs of a Serpent’s Son

--Age 17—part 35

February 28

I hate waiting. It’s an excruciating and time consuming endeavour that simply will not end. Time seems to slow to a meticulous crawl when you have to wait for something. It seems even slower when you are waiting to do something incredibly important and intensely dangerous.

Add in the fact that you are waiting for an undetermined length of time and it really is the most mind-numbingly tedious thing you can do.

Thankfully, I did get to spend much of this time waiting for Harry to decide what the right day was to go visit the orphanage training with him. Training with him and the rest of the ickle soldiers that once made up Dumbledore’s Army, anyway.

We eventually had to enchant the room we’d taken to use as our training room so that it might conform to the space requirements that our training might need. Fortunately the Black House has been a wizarding establishment for years and did not resist the magic in any negative way.

We trained mostly for Occlumency and non-verbal spells though that wasn’t all. Granger had spent some time making lists of curses and defenses that could be useful in battle. The list was posted on the wall opposite the door for reference.

I can’t deny it. I was rather impressed with her initiative.

What surprised me was that many of the spells listed were plainly Dark Magic. They dealt with incantations, curses, jinxes and defenses that literally toed the line of blood and soul magic. These were things that were highly regarded as illegal though no law actually existed to ban them.

Let’s just say the use of them is severely frowned upon.

So that’s what we did. First thing in the morning to the wee hours of the morning, we spent our time straining our own magical abilities and forcing them onto new levels. We spent time trying to increase our endurance to spell casting, physical exertion and even withstanding curses.

We also had to (sadly) inform the She-Weasel of her weaknesses and strengths as were detailed in my documents. That was an unpleasant day.

She didn’t believe me for a long while until I threatened to use the Imperius Curse on her to prove to her that I wasn’t lying.

I even held my wand up and began to say the words before pulled my arm down and tried to shake some sense into her.

I don’t know how well that worked but she did seem wearier of me from then on.

It’s about damn time.

The hardest parts of the training were dealing with the memories that I broke into when I tested them on their Occlumency.

I tested the She-Weasel finally… she did not seem happy about the idea but she was defiant and determined and far too arrogant for someone who can easily fall victim to a control curse.

I stood ready before her and she nodded to me. I did the same thing I always did but didn’t meet the same kind of defense that everyone else tried to put up.

Instead, I was met with offensive magic.

The bloody bint was trying to counter my Legilimency with her own Legilimency instead of protect herself.

Perhaps she thought that it was the perfect moment to infiltrate my mind… I would clearly be occupied with trying to push through her defenses and so my own might be weakened… or perhaps she thought I wouldn’t notice in my concentration.

Well, she clearly knew little about me.

I felt her prodding at my mental barriers immediately and grimaced. She hadn’t even improved at what she was doing; she was just trying the same old trick in a different context.

I should have known…. After being cursed by her bat-bogey hex time and again, I should have realized that this is just a one trick pony.

I feigned disappointment and forced her back out of my mind so hard that she actually fell back against the wall, forgetting her own mental defenses in the chaos and allowing me a clear and shining path directly to whatever thoughts or memories she was trying to guard.

And that was the most uncomfortable experience of my life.

I saw all her deepest desires. I saw flashes of her throughout the years at Hogwarts… first in our second year when she was writing in that damn diary my father slipped her… writing in it and then was taken into the Chamber of Secrets. I saw images of her holding Harry tightly as they exited the Chamber.

I saw images of her with Harry, holding him and pressing herself against him. I saw him kissing her… kissing her forcefully and full of passion… I saw him with his hands buried in her hair and crushing her against him as though he never wanted them to part.

I saw images of her touching him… TOUCHING HIM!

She had her face against his bare chest and she was moving down his stomach. Her mouth was on him and his hands were in her hair again. His face was full of ecstasy and I nearly felt myself explode. And then in the molten visions of their bodies entwined, sounds and words of derisive laughter at my expense. Laughing at me and my misery… wishing terrible things upon me.

And the cruel look on Harry’s face as he told her he loved her after she said I deserved to die.

THESE COULD NOT BE MEMORIES! There is NO WAY! He would never have done this with her! HE DIDN’T!

COULDN’T!

I WON’T BELIEVE IT!

I WANT TO KILL THAT FUCKING BITCH!

I don’t know what I did, but I snapped. I could vaguely see the satisfied smirk she had drawn on her face before I cast some unconscious spell and sent her flying in the air until she hit the wall with a harsh thud and fell to the ground.

I seethed and glared, hyperventilating as I held my wand to her again. Her eyes glittered from where she lay on the ground, a stream of blood running from her nose.

“You fucking little slut,” I hissed, straining against restraints I wasn’t actually aware of. “YOU THINK I’M THAT EASY TO SCARE OFF?!”

I had lost all control. I was shaking with fury and I wanted to kill her. I paid no mind to the likely consequences of my actions. They didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I wipe that contemptible little whore off the face of the earth.

“My thoughts and memories have nothing to do with you, Malfoy,” she sneered with a mite of sarcasm. “It’s not my fault if you had to force yourself into my mind. You brought it on yourself!”

I’ve never wanted to kill someone this badly. I don’t even think I wanted to murder Nott this badly…

No… actually… I think she and Nott are on the same level at this point.

Good job, little Weasel-slut. You’ve reached the level of a rapist.

“Draco!” Harry’s voice finally breached my ears and I realized his arms were on me, trying to pull my wand down and get me to think rationally. Then images of the actual scene were flooding back into my mind and I realized that Weasley was on the ground next to his sister, as was Granger and Longbottom and Lovegood were standing on either side of the room between us. “Draco, stop!”

I didn’t say anything at all. I just dropped my wand and continued staring at her. If looks could kill, the Weasley’s would be less one child by now.

And they’d probably be better off.

“I’m not going to practice with him anymore if he attacks me like that every time!” the little parasite dared to spit out.

“Ginny don’t be rash,” Granger argued. “We need Malfoy’s help and he has been very civil with you…”

“You call throwing me into a wall CIVIL?! GET A DICTIONARY HERMIONE!” she shireked back, getting to her feet. Granger looked affronted.

“Ginny, please!” she snapped. “Obviously he shouldn’t have done that, but you haven’t really been giving him much incentive to be nice to you lately!”

“Hermione!” Weasley cried out in something close to outrage, though his emotions were half-hearted. He knew the truth. He couldn’t deny that she had been a great prat to me.

“HEY!” Harry screamed out, trying to get everyone’s attention. I had nothing to say. I was still glaring determinately at the Weasel-slut. I figured if I could keep up the look long enough, eventually I really WOULD be glaring daggers at her. “Neither of you are solely to blame here! BOTH of you are!”

“I think we need to take a break,” Granger suggested, noticing the knives that I was drawing on the air with my eyes. “Come on, Ginny, we’ll take you to get cleaned up and calm down.”

They left the room…. The Parasite, Weasley, Granger and Lovegood. Longbottom lingered for a few moments before he decided that he did not feel comfortable enough to stay in a room with Harry and I alone.

As soon as he left and the door closed behind me, Harry wheeled on me in anger.

“What the fuck did you think you were doing?!” he screamed. I snarled.

I didn’t bother to answer. Instead I launched an attack on his mind. I had to know if those images were real or if they were just her vicious dreams. I forced myself past his defenses.

Harry gasped and tried to fight back, moment by moment. He screwed up his eyes and threw up walls of barriers before me as I pressed harder and more erratically.

“WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME?!” I bellowed at him, pushing harder into his mind, but Harry wouldn’t let me in… he was actually blocking me.

“I WON’T HIDE ANYTHING IF YOU ASK ME!” he screamed, his face sweating and screwed up from the amount of effort it took for him to concentrate.

My eyes were stinging from anger and tears. I stepped up to him and pushed him against the wall, shaking as I slowly broke down one barrier at a time to get to those wretched memories… those SICKENING memories that he was hiding from me!

Finally, when I saw the wounded look in his eyes I let go and pulled back to collapse on the ground. My face was tear-streaked and my eyes were red. I was breathing fast and ragged breaths, staring at my hands.

Harry fell to his knees in front of me and grasped me by the shoulders.

“Draco, what is going on?” he asked roughly though there was concern and fear laced in his words. I couldn’t look at him.

Not if he’s really done those things… not if…

WHY AM I SO INSECURE?

What does it matter if he’s fucked the little skank? What does it matter if he’s told her he loves her?? Why should I care if I wasn’t his first? He wasn’t my first either!

………

He…

I wanted to throw up again…

“Draco, talk to me,” he said more forcefully. I steeled myself and gave him a cold look.

“You fucked her,” I spat. “You fucked her didn’t you?!”

“What?!” Harry snapped back, his face full of confusion and defensiveness. “What are you talking about?”

“I SAW IT!” I screamed, tears running down my face until they dripped onto my hands and clothes. “I saw it in her damn head! And now you won’t even let me see in yours! YOU DID!”

“Draco, you’re being stupid,” he shot. “I never had sex with Ginny. I don’t know what you’re on about but the most we’ve ever done was kiss.”

“You’re lying!” I was irrational, I’ll admit, but I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t take the idea of it… “Where did she get those memories then?!”

Harry shook his head and pulled me close.

“I’ve never, ever had sex before you, Draco,” he whispered to me as he held me. “Maybe those were Ginny’s fantasies, or something… I don’t know but I’ve never been with her and I never will be.”

I was shaking… this was so unlike me… so unrealistic… so unwarranted…

Something was off and… how is this possible? Could I really get this angry and defensive over just the idea of Harry with someone else? Ever?

I felt like a fool… completely foolish and stupid. I didn’t want to look at him.

“Draco, please look at me,” Harry whispered to me. He tilted my head up to him and I finally let my eyes meet his. His anger wasn’t completely gone but he didn’t seem intent on that.

“I will kill her one day,” I whispered angrily. He didn’t smile but he didn’t get angry either. Perhaps he knew that my vow was more of a bluff than anything.

“But not today,” he responded. “Besides, I think that managing to keep you out of my mind so well means I’ve won our little wager.”

I paused and gave him a calculating look.

What a bloody Slytherin.

“Well fuck you, Potter,” I shot back, mildly put off by the knowledge that he was right and I hadn’t even thought of it.

“No, I believe that my terms stipulated it would be the other way around, actually,” he snickered with a coy smirk.

“I think we should reconsider the terms,” I suggested formally. He laughed a bit, glad that the subject had changed. I was glad too… glad we could ignore my foolishness.

The door creaked open suddenly and Granger poked her head in. Her eyes were wide with grief and we both looked up questioningly.

“What is it, Hermione?” Harry asked, worried.

“Oh Harry…” she began, trying to control herself as she felt as though she wanted to sob. “It’s… it’s Charlie.”

Harry got to his feet and helped me up too. His eyes were set and wide.

“What happened?” he demanded immediately.

“He’s… he’s been killed,” she admitted, her face full of fear.

Harry didn’t waste a moment. He ran from the room. I followed him closely and he bolted through the house until he found the room with all the others.

The sitting room was full again… Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were there, along with Remus and Tonks. Weasel had his arms around his sister who was crying quietly. Lovegood seemed more aware of the situation than usual and Longbottom looked petrified.

“What happened?!” Harry demanded as soon as he arrived. Mr. Weasley was holding his wife, who clearly wanted to go and hug her two children. I didn’t realize it until I stepped closer into the room but Fred and George were also there, their faces stricken with grief but also determination.

Bill Weasley was missing… as well as another one… I think the one that was at school with us for a few years. What was his name?

“It’s Charlie, Harry,” Mr. Weasley said quietly, his voice bitten with sadness. “He was killed today. He was in Romania working as a contact for the Order and he was killed. I’m not sure what he was doing…”

“By who??” Harry continued, his face showing not only the sorrow that the others displayed, but also anger and rage.

“We know they were wizards,” Remus continued as he noticed Mr. Weasley’s need to force his voice. “We suspect that it was passing Death-Eaters, though the Dark Mark was over an area near him. Others were killed as well, not only in Romania.”

“Who??” No one else was speaking. Granger walked over to comfort her boyfriend and his sister. “Where?”

“Several other Order members,” Remus continued. “Arabella Figg was killed in London. She was suspected of witchcraft by some Muggles, even though she is a Squib.”

“Deadalus Diggle was also killed,” Tonks added. “We don’t know much about why he died but there was a Dark Mark above him as well…”

“And Elphias Doge,” Remus finished. “Death-Eaters, again. They might have been killed in revenge for having been part of the Advance Guard when a number of Voldemort’s followers were apprehended at the Ministry two years ago. But we don’t know more than that.”

“Ministry members are being killed as well,” Mr. Weasley finally managed to say. “Disappearing here and there… many of them were Unspeakables… working in the Department of Mysteries. We still have no real leads as to what they are after… part from bloodshed.”

Harry was trying desperately hard to keep his breathing calm, but failing miserably. He was livid and I could see it.

How did all this happen in one go?

“I can’t believe this,” Harry said through gritted teeth. “And there have been no arrests? Nothing is being done?!”

“Of course things are being done, Harry,” Remus argued. “But Scrimgeour insists that the Order leave the culprits to the Ministry. We are doing everything we can, Harry. And we will continue to do so. But whoever is working against the Ministry of Magic’s direct orders is going to face trouble. As it is it will be difficult to bring Charlie’s body back from Romania.”

“WHAT!?” Harry snapped in unison with Weasel and Fred and George.

“Retrieving a body from another country is a delicate matter in the most stable of times,” Mr. Weasley admitted sadly. “What with everything that’s going on and how easy it is to make something look like a dead body when it isn’t one at all, we’re going to have much trouble with it…”

Molly Weasley sobbed harder into her husband’s shoulders and the Weasley children looked dumbstruck in their fury.

“What about Percy?” Granger suggested. “He’s high up with the Minister… perhaps he can get Charlie back more easily…”

“Hermione,” Mr. Weasley began very sadly. “Percy is more of a Ministry Man than Scrimgeour is… he would never forego Ministry guidelines… not even for his own family.”

“Especially not his own family,” Weasel snapped derisively.

I kept my mouth shut.

I did not know these things about their brother. I felt angry.

Something I had always been taught was that no matter what, no matter your feelings or your anger or your resentment… no matter WHAT, you NEVER betray your family. Blood comes first and you always keep up the charade. You might hate the people you live with, the family you were born into… you might treat them like my father treated me… you might hate your father like I hated mine but you still maintain your family’s reputation and honour. No matter what that calls for.

I was forced into a task under Voldemort to pay my father’s debts and when I couldn’t my parents were killed. I know that was largely my fault and though I made the right decision, I’m aware of how I betrayed them.

Percy Weasley, apparently, is not aware that the law is never more important than your blood.

“Where is Bill?” the She-Weasel suddenly asked.

“He’s going out to Romania,” Mr. Weasley answered. “He said he’s going to investigate what he can there to find out more. And find Charlie… Fleur is staying at Gringott’s to help with the refugees.”

Everyone was silent for a time as those who were not directly related to the deceased tried to offer their condolences without words. The air was thick and I know that most of the anger and frustration came from Harry. He was glaring at the ground under his feet.

“That’s it then,” he decided suddenly.

“What’s it?” I asked quietly, feeling very conscious of who I am next to everyone in the room. Next to the people that were so closely affected by the kind of people I grew up with.

No matter what I am now my Father was still a Death-Eater… my aunt and uncle are Death-Eaters. My father’s friends were Death-Eaters and my friends from school had all supported Voldemort’s movements from the beginning. I grew up with murderers and wanna-be murderers.

“No more waiting,” Harry said. “We have no more time to waste.”

“So what are we doing?” I asked, trying to keep my voice free of emotion.

“We go to the Orphanage tomorrow.”

-------IIIIIII-------

A/N: this was very hard to write but it has nothing to do with what happened in the chapter, just my frame of mind. Draco’s sudden outburst there came not only from my current feelings (I hate it when my feelings affect my writing) but also because people often look at him as being the kind of person who could easily be a player, a manwhore or womanizer… something like that. Someone who isn’t at all opposed to adultery but I see it differently.

While I’m all-for Sex God Draco, I don’t think that’s everything. I feel as though Draco is cold and puts up façade after façade, building extensive walls around who he really is and so comes off as though he wouldn’t care at all… but once someone gets past those, I can’t imagine that he would be very calm about the possibility that they aren’t loyal… or rather, that they aren’t as devoted and involved as he is.

I do NOT think Harry could EVER cheat on anyone, no matter what. But this isn’t about cheating. It’s about showing that the little Draco hiding inside of that strong exterior is rather insecure and needs something as foolish as the knowledge that he was Harry’s first. He needs to know that it was special in some way… after the years he spent anguishing over Harry and his feelings and dealing with all that shite, I think he deserves it, personally.

So yeah, that was this.

And the deaths….

Well I need to kill more people. This is a war and not only nameless people are going to die. Kingsley was kidnapped and tortured. Figg had to die, as well as those other Order members… and Charlie. I couldn’t kill Bill (not only because it’s cliché from the damn movie… and THE BRIDE WOULD COME AFTER ME *Gasp* …*shuts up*) because he already got attacked by Greyback. One attack for him, no dying. Percy… no one would have cared.

Hell I wouldn’t.

Fred and George… well I love them, though that doesn’t mean they are safe either.

And Ron and Ginny are sadly with Harry. So they can’t just up and have a heart attack. This isn’t Death Note.

Yeah, just my reasons. Eh, and Mr. Weasley and Mrs. Weasley are still up there… I plan to chop more people, I promise you. I hope you don’t get to angry with me but again this is a war. And there are bound to be good people dying.

Remus and Tonks and Moody are still flying up there too. No one is really safe from this in the end, are they?

Yes, that means that Harry and Draco are also possibilities… I won’t lie. I’m not going to promise that they are both going to come out of this unharmed.

But I do love happy endings, remember that.

Anyway, I’m trying hard not to rush this into the final battle, but I do need to get a move on. Sadly it will be coming to an end relatively soon. If I can manage before I go mad. Anyway. I hope you enjoyed it!

Thanks so much for keeping up with me and not giving up on my madness!

Love and treats to all!