A Looping of the Scales ~ COMPLETED

Chapter 65 ~ Laying it Down

When Hermione returned to see Snape that evening after classes, she was unpleasantly surprised to see Harry, Ron and Ginny seated by Snape’s bed. She entered, frowning slightly at the three intruders.

“Harry, Ron, Ginny—what are you doing here?” she asked them as Snape looked at her soberly. He was sitting up. On the small table were a number of books the Gryffindors had brought him to pass the time. Ron had slipped him a couple of chocolate frogs, too, just for strength.

”Visiting Severus. He’s in pretty good shape considering he fought off three Chimeras,” Harry said to her with a smile.

”Yeah. I thought he would have lost a few fingers or toes at least,” Ron added.

”He fought two Chimeras. I killed one before it could attack him,” Hermione said, walking up to Snape and scowling at him as if all the additional visitors were his fault.

”I thought you were resting up,” she said to him evenly.

Snape cocked his head at her.

”I am,” he said shortly.

Ginny studied them, then said, “Maybe we should go.”

”What? Why? I want to talk to Severus a bit more,” Harry protested as Ginny stood up.

”Come on, Harry. Hermione wants some time alone with him.”

”She always has time alone with him, Ginny. They study together all the time,” Harry said, unwilling to leave yet.

Ron popped up.

”Well, I’m ready to go. Susan’s down in the kitchens. If I hurry, I might get a little bite or two. Either on something to eat—or Susan.”

Everyone looked at him.

”What?” he asked with splayed hands.

”Nothing, Ron. Come on, let’s go, Harry,” Ginny said, catching hold of his arm. “Bye Severus. Bye, Hermione.”

She pulled Harry out of the chair as Ron said his goodbyes and hurried out of the area, making a beeline for the kitchens.

“Bye, Severus. I’ll stop by tomorrow,” Harry said as Ginny led him out.

Snape blinked after them, then looked at Hermione.

”You really know how to clear a room,” he said to her with a half-smirk.

”What? I didn’t clear it. They left on their own,” she replied with a frown as she took off her knapsack and sat down next to his bed.

”Mist have been all the warmth you exuded when you walked in here with such a happy greeting. What was it? Ah, yes—what are you all doing here?”

”I—I was just asking.”

”Asking? Why? It was clear they were visiting with me, Hermione. You’re so jealous it’s unbelievable,” Snape said to her. “You don’t even want your own friends around me.”

”That’s not true. But I know Harry and Ron. They’ll slip you things you don’t need,” she said, grabbing the magazines off the stand and leafing through them. She frowned at the Playwizard magazine hidden under a cover of “Potions Today.”

”Typical Ron,” she said, yanking it, roughly rolling it up and sticking it into her pocket.

”Hey!” Snape complained.

”You don’t need to look at naked witches with magically enhanced breasts,” Hermione seethed, leafing through the magazines again. She gasped as she found another magazine named “Magical Muffs” hidden under another unassuming cover.

”I can’t believe Ronald,” she hissed.

”He was just trying to keep me—how did he put it? Ah, stimulated. He said these magazines would be good for my circulation,” Snape said innocently as Hermione pocketed that magazine too.

”You’ll be stimulated enough once you get out of here,” she said tightly.

Snape’s eyes went a bit hot.

”Is that a promise?”

”No. It is incentive,” she told him, flushing a little. “You don’t need books when you have the real thing.”

Snape smiled at her.

”I think I’m not the only one in love here,” he said softly.

Hermione looked at him, shocked.

”Love? What are you talking about?” she asked him thickly.

”I think you’re just as in love with me as I am with you, Hermione,” the wizard said.

”I don’t have time for love,” Hermione shot back at him.

”That doesn’t make any difference. Love doesn’t work well with timetables. Either you’re in love or you aren’t,” Snape told her. “And I believe you are and you won’t admit it to me or yourself.”

”That’s—that’s just silly. If I were in love, I’d have no problem saying I was. And I’m not. I’m just—just fond of you, that’s all. I mean, we are intimate.”

Snape just looked at her, and she colored.

”Next time we’re together, I’m going to make you admit you love me, Hermione. You’re going to say it and mean it,” the wizard said. “Everything about you tells me that you have feelings for me that go beyond our sexual encounters. I can even smell the change in your pheromones when you walk in my presence. It’s not a sexual scent either. It’s something else, warm and compelling. Attractive.”

”Oh, so you can smell love,” Hermione said. “That’s a first.”

Snape shrugged.

”Well, I’m not in love. If I were in love, I’d be fawning all over you, making goo-goo eyes and being completely insufferable. Ew,” Hermione said, making a face as she thought about Ron.

Snape chuckled.

”Not everyone in love acts the same, Hermione. You have things you want to accomplish. You don’t have time for silly displays of affection. It doesn’t mean you don’t feel anything. You’re just—conservative. But I can tell. I can feel it every time I kiss you or touch you. I can even see it in your eyes, although you try to hide it.”

”Stop it. You don’t see anything,” she said softly, not looking at him, but at her hands.

”We’re going to have to change our arrangement,” Snape said. “I’ve been laying here thinking about it and it’s no longer suitable. I want a claim on you, one that people know about so no one else will try to go out with you.”

Hermione snorted.

”You don’t have to worry about that, Severus. You’re the only one who finds me remotely attractive,” Hermione said softly.

”Ron Weasley found you attractive as well,” Snape countered.

”But we’d been friends forever, Severus. And he didn’t find me as attractive as he finds Susan,” she added. “He’s absolutely wild about her. Anyone can see that.”

”That’s only because she’s more in line with what he wants, Hermione. She’s attractive on other levels to him. But to me, you’re absolutely beautiful and I’m sure there are other wizards who see it as well.”

”Well, point them out to me, then,” Hermione said, trying to lighten the situation.

”That’s what I’m trying to avoid,” Snape said soberly. “I want us to be exclusive.”

”We are exclusive,” Hermione told him. “I’m not seeing anyone other than you, Severus.”

”I want to know you’re mine,” he breathed. “That you are my witch. Just mine. I want to have your love and your loyalty, like you have mine, Hermione. I want you and not just for the occasional tumble. I won’t interfere with your studies, but—but I need this. I need you. I want to know when I leave Hogwarts, I won’t be leaving you. That our relationship will continue. I don’t care how many miles come between us, Hermione. You’ll always be as close to me as my own heartbeat, whether you accept me or not. I’m committed.”

”Severus, we’re both so young, how can you say you’re committed?”

Snape looked at her, his eyes narrowing slightly.

”How can you doubt it, Hermione? You knew me as a man, what motivated me to be a spy—you knew how dedicated I was to—to Lily even after she clearly made her choice and even—lost her life. It was clear I never stopped loving her, Hermione. Now, there is no Lily. There’s only you in my heart. You’re the one I love and will continue to love. Don’t doubt me when you know even better than I do how devoted I can be—“

Hermione’s eyes began to fill as she looked at Snape, her lower lip trembling. Did he really love her as much as he had loved Lily? Could he possibly? The idea of it was almost too much, almost too overwhelming. Suddenly, she stood up, unable to deal with his declaration.

”I—I have to go, Severus,” she said softly.

”You can’t run away from this, Hermione,” he said just as softly. “Thinking about it won’t help either. This has nothing to do with logic and everything to do with what’s in the heart. I never told Lily how I felt about her. I’m not making that mistake with you, especially when I know you hold the same feelings for me. You’re not a callous witch, Hermione. When we make love, I know you feel me beyond the physical pleasure. I certainly feel you. We need to be more.”

Hermione looked at him, tears suddenly falling from her eyes. She turned and practically bolted out of the infirmary, a startled Poppy watching her race by her office.

”Miss Granger? Miss Granger, what’s wrong?” she called after Hermione, but she didn’t stop. She exited the infirmary.

Poppy quickly walked to Snape’s area, pulling back the curtain.

”What’s wrong with Miss Granger, Severus?” she asked the wizard, who sighed.

”I’m afraid she has a case of cold feet, Madam Pomfrey,” he replied quietly.

“You’d never know it by the way she flew out of here,” the mediwitch replied. Hermione had really burned up the tiles leaving the infirmary. Poppy left Snape alone with his thoughts thinking how difficult things were for the young.

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Hermione hurried to Gryffindor tower, too upset to go to Snape’s quarters. Besides, it wouldn’t be the same without him there. Well, without him out of the infirmary. Snape didn’t always stay with her when she studied but she knew he was out and about. Present, even in absentia.

”Why is he pressuring me? He promised not to pressure me,” Hermione whined as she lay on her stomach in her bed. “Okay, he loves me. I understand that. Why does he insist I love him back? He’s just—just unnecessarily complicating things. We’re already exclusive. I’m not seeing anyone else. I don’t have plans to see anyone else. I just want to get through my NEWTs. Merlin, he’s so—so pushy.”

She thought about his words.

”And mushy,” she added with a frown. She couldn’t ever imagine the adult Snape spewing such—such sweet words.

The problem was, he meant them. He wasn’t trying to cull her favor with romantic diatribe. He was being honest. She could feel it deep inside when he spoke to her so earnestly. Hermione hadn’t really thought about after graduation that much, but had planned to continue to see him, even visit that spooky old mansion he was going to move into. She really planned to accompany him there, along with Ron, Harry and probably Ginny and help clear it of any dark spirits.

If they were going to continue to see each other as lovers, why was it necessary to become an—an item? They were already and item, even if they weren’t calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend.

He could smell her love? That had to be the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard of, although he certainly had the nose for it.

But inside, Hermione felt uneasy, well aware that there were changes in the body’s scent depending on emotion. Maybe Severus did smell something different when she was near him. Hermione sighed, then rolled out of her bed and walked over to her Floo, contacting the kitchens. She hadn’t eaten yet. She ordered a small salad and some tea. Her stomach felt as if it were in knots. She wouldn’t be able to keep anything heavy down right now.

She sat on the side of the bed, trying to come to terms with what Snape had told her. He said he was going to make her admit she loved him. How did he intend to do that? He couldn’t force her to say something she didn’t want to say.

Hermione was glossing over the real issue here. The issue of if she really did love Severus Snape. Once again she was trying to use logic when it just wasn’t applicable. She didn’t want to dwell on what was so obvious to the wizard. When she entered this arrangement, it was to avoid the necessity of commitment and deep emotion. They were supposed to be associates with privileges.

Like that would have worked in any world

Hermione Granger was faced with a dilemma that could be easily solved if she just stopped trying to open up her mind and instead, opened up her heart.

But that was just too simple.

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A/N: Ah, moving right along. Face it, Hermione. You’re in his sights, girl. Now you know what he wants. Are you ready to give it? Thanks for reading. ***