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Returning to Sanity	By : AchillesTheGeek Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 31212 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter books or films, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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69 Returning to the Matter of Animagus Forms
Sunday 23 August
Harry gave a low moan as he woke up. He had that strange feeling of dislocation followed by near panic that comes with waking up in a strange bed: the room just had a different sort of feel about it, the sheets felt much finer than usual. And, as his eyes adjusted to the gloom he could see that these sheets were dark green, not the white of Hogwarts sheets. For a few moments, he wondered where he was; then it came back to him: after the testing yesterday, and meeting up with Dudley, they had stayed at the Manor and slept in Draco's bed. His heart, which had started racing, calmed down a little as he reached out and found Draco lying just inches away from him. As soon as Harry's fingertips brushed him, and without waking up, the blond scooted over to him unconsciously and wrapped his arms around him. Harry sighed happily. He might complain about Draco's octopus tendencies, but they did make him feel secure and loved. He'd never admit it, but he wouldn't have it any other way.
Harry looked around. The room was still shrouded in darkness, and all he could hear were the quiet breathing of his beloved lying next to him and the sound of rain softly drumming on the windows. He rubbed his eyes and looked around the room, wondering what time it was; still quite early, to be so dark. A quick Tempus revealed that it was nearly half-past six; the sun must have been up for half an hour or so, but the clouds must be quite effectively blocking its rays given how gloomy the room was. There was nothing they needed to get up for, and he decided that he could do with some more sleep, so he snuggled happily into the still-sleeping blond, placing his head on Draco's chest. It was not long before the rhythm of Draco's heart, together with the beat of the rain, had lulled him back to sleep.
It was just over an hour later that Draco woke up, finding himself being cuddled tightly by his fiancé. He smiled as he remembered how often Harry had complained about Draco using him as his own personal teddy bear; now he knew how it felt. While he found that he didn't really mind at all, his arms were getting a bit numb, so he carefully rubbed Harry, loosening Harry's hold a little before Draco wrapped his arms around his sleeping Raven.
"Mmm," Harry said, coming awake slowly to find himself being massaged. "That's nice."
"Good," Draco answered, his hands raking down the naked body of his lover, kneading the knots that were still there even after a night's sleep.
"Ooh," Harry murmured, his body turning into a pile of goo under the onslaught of Draco's tender ministrations. This was good! So good!
It was twenty minutes before Harry spoke again.
"Draco?" he asked, a little hesitantly. "Make love to me?"
-lemon—
Draco smiled, enchanted that Harry had asked and more than happy to comply, and wordlessly cast their usual preparation spells.
"You're getting really good at that wordless magi-IC!" Harry said, his voice rising in pitch and volume at the end of his compliment as the lubricant that Draco had conjured filled him with an unexpected heat. Usually it was cool and soothing, but Draco had evidently decided that, given that Harry was so relaxed, something different was required.
"You like that?" Draco asked, a wicked note of wild pleasure in his voice, evidently enjoying Harry's reaction.
"Very much," Harry replied. He reached around to stretch himself, but Draco swatted him away, inserting his own finger.
"You just relax, love," Draco murmured, stretching and massaging, as he looked closely at Harry's eyes, delighting in the expression of pure pleasure his actions were bringing to fiancé's face. He could not stop himself from adding a second finger; neither of them seeming to have the patience to take things slow. Harry's moans grew louder, and by the time Draco had inserted three fingers the noises he was making were driving Draco wild; the blond was grateful for the permanent silencing spells that he had set up in this room during Voldemort's occupation and which were still going strong.
He pulled out his fingers and summoned some more lubricant, liberally slathering it over his rock-hard cock, before gently pushing Harry with his hands. The raven-haired lad got the message immediately and scooted back up the bed until he was lying on his back with his head on Draco's pillow. As he did so, Harry pulled his knees up towards his chest to allow Draco access, looking up at the blond with an intense love and no small degree of arousal.
"Mine," Draco murmured in appreciation as he grabbed Harry's ankles and lifted his legs up over Draco's shoulders as he lined up ready to make love to his fiancé.
"Yours," Harry agreed, his eyes filled with an intensity of feeling that quite took Draco's breath away.
"Ready?" he asked breathlessly.
"Yes! Please! Get on with it!" Harry replied, his own cock as hard as Draco's and desire written all over his face.
Draco smirked. There were times when their lovemaking was drawn out and gentle; and then there was now. In a single, swift move, Draco plunged into his lover, loving the ecstatic cries Harry gave out.
"More!" his Raven yelled, and he pulled almost all the way out before reaming Harry again.
"Harder!"
Draco smirked. He loved how in-sync the two of them seemed to be, and he ploughed into Harry over and over again. Almost every stroke hit Harry's prostate dead on, and elicited moans and groans and shouts of ecstasy.
It quickly became a race to see if they could climax before Draco's stamina gave out. For a moment, Draco thought he might lose; but he was a Slytherin, he wasn't about to fight fair, and he reached over and pulled hard on Harry's magnificent erection.
"FUCK!" Harry screamed.
"Yes, I kind of am," the blond replied; but Harry didn't hear it, as his body took over and he started coming, a stream of semen being released from his cock as a huge wave of pleasure washed over him. The muscles of his sphincter tightened around Draco's straining erection and the blond only lasted another stroke before he too was coming.
It had been electrifying and amazing, and now Draco, exhausted and spent, collapsed on top of Harry, not even having the energy to avoid squashing his lover. But Harry didn't seem to mind at all; as Draco slipped out of him, he just wrapped his arms around Draco and pulled him close.
After a few moments, Harry got his breath back. He cast a Tergeo to banish the mess; Draco gasped in amazement as he always did at the feeling, so gentle, so unlike anyone else's cleaning spells. Everyone else's spells gave him the feeling of being cleansed with a loofah; with Harry, it was like being wiped with silk.
-/lemon—
Harry cuddled him tight and started kissing every part of Draco he could reach as the blond simply moaned in post-orgasmic bliss.
"That was sensational," he said.
Draco kissed him on his forehead. "Of course," he said, his face haughty, but his eyes twinkling.
"Prat," Harry replied.
"Maybe," Draco concurred. "But I'm your prat."
"Agreed," Harry said. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Draco replied. "Shall we shower?"
-#-
When the two young men finally made it down to breakfast, just after nine o'clock, they found Lucius and Narcissa were sitting at the breakfast table, together with two very familiar visitors.
"Ry! Co!" a little voice said, and a second later Teddy Lupin had managed to get down from his booster seat and was crawling full tilt to his godfather. Harry picked him up, overjoyed to see the little boy, and delighted that, as he did so, Teddy's hair darkened and his eyes changed to green.
"Teddy!" he said excitedly. "How are you?"
"He's been asking after you all weekend," Andromeda replied, and then, knowing how Harry's guilt-trip worked, continued, "but you're not to feel guilty. He needs to learn that he doesn't get everything he wants as soon as he wants it. Narcissa told me you had testing yesterday; come, sit down, and tell me all about it."
"Well, this was a school test to see if we get to sit our N.E.W.T.s early," Draco replied as he took his seat. "Harry, Hermione and I have already been recommended, so it's really just to give us an idea what we need to concentrate on. But it gives the other students a chance to get recommended for early exams as well."
"It's a good idea, as long as people really are ready," Lucius replied cautiously. "But, while we need people in the system, they do need to be competent. We need new Aurors, but there's no good putting a new class of Aurors together if they don't know enough to get through training."
"I'm sure that the examiners are well aware of that, dear," Narcissa replied. "Harry, put Teddy back in his seat and sit down and have some breakfast, please."
Harry happily complied, sitting down to a mountain of bacon and eggs; but he couldn't help feeling that there was some subtle undercurrent of conversation that he had missed.
-#-
After breakfast, given that it was raining, Harry suggested that he and Teddy could play in one of the manor's larger reception rooms. He had decided that he was finally going to do one of the things he had wanted to when young, but of course never got to: make a play-fort. For the next hour, he and Teddy piled together chairs, cushions and blankets, organizing them into walls and roof. Although this really meant that Harry made the fort, and Teddy giggled and gurgled and got in the way; but they both enjoyed each other's company immensely.
Andromeda was overjoyed to see how happy Teddy was. She found nothing to contradict the firm idea that had established itself in her mind every time the two of them interacted: Harry was a natural at parenting. At every turn, he took care to encourage Teddy, getting him involved, and showing amazing patience when the little boy knocked things over and generally got in the way. She and Narcissa started off watching the boys, but it wasn't long before her sister suggested they could leave them be and have morning tea together.
Meanwhile, Draco decided that he was quite happy for Harry and Teddy to spend some time bonding, and from his father's unusually cautious words at breakfast, he rather gathered that Lucius had more to say, but did not want to make it public; so was not at all surprised that, once they had made sure that Harry and Teddy were happily playing together, and that Narcissa and Andromeda were going off to spend time together, Lucius beckoned him out. Draco followed his father, and was overjoyed when his father led him into his study, carefully shutting the door behind them.
Lucius gestured towards the two leather chairs grouped around a table in the corner of the room. The ladies might have gone off for morning tea, but he wanted something stronger, so poured them each a finger of fire-whiskey.
"So, father," Draco said as he sat down and picked up his glass, rather stunned to notice the bottle; this was Lucius's best fire-whiskey. "Problems at the Ministry?"
"Indeed," the older Malfoy said with a sigh, putting his elbows on the armrests and steepling his fingers in front of him, fixing his son with a piercing look.
"You understand this goes no further, of course," he began, and Draco nodded his agreement, his heart leaping within at the thought that his father trusted him with secrets. "It seems Rosier had a few Aurors under his thumb."
"Yes, but surely that's all sorted now?" Draco responded, a little confused that this seemed to bother his father.
"For the moment. Rosier may well appeal, of course; but you're right, we have cleaned up that mess. But who else? If one person has set up his own personal cohort of Aurors, how do we know someone else hasn't done the same?"
"True," Draco allowed, "but we always knew that was possible. What makes it so important right now?"
When Lucius didn't respond straight away, Draco thought for a moment, remembering their own troubles with Aurors before and during their trials. He could see from first-hand experience that it was imperative that the Aurors be trustworthy, and known to be so.
"This is personal, isn't it? It's about what that fucking Crockford did to us?"
"Partly," Lucius admitted, wincing at his son's language. Before, he would have issued a stern reprimand; but he had decided that, now that they were both of age as wizards and Muggles, it was time to treat his sons as adults. It was no longer his place to scold. "But there's something else. Tell me, Draco, how do you feel about Harry?"
"What?" Draco said, the question taking him so much by surprise that he actually sputtered out some of the precious fire-whiskey. "You're really asking me how I feel about my fiancé?"
Lucius laughed, which made Draco glare at him. "Sorry," Lucius said apologetically, "I didn't make myself clear. I really meant about the debt. If, that is, you feel able to distinguish your own natural feelings from those you have because of it?"
Draco looked at him suspiciously. Was his father subtly suggesting he wasn't a proper Malfoy? He had done that often in the past. But in the past, he would have said stern words about Draco swearing; and in the past, his words would have had an audible sarcastic edge. He detected none; his father must be asking a real question then. And it was an interesting question. Could he distinguish debt-driven feelings from his own?
"I think I can," he answered. "For years, I thought I hated Harry, because he refused my friendship. But now, that feeling is there, still strong, still intense. But it's changed. It's love now, not hate. And it's all mine. But there is another thing. A desire to protect him. As if he needed it. It's kind of separate; and yet the two have sort of merged together. It's hard to describe."
"I understand," Lucius replied. "I feel it too. Not that I loved Potter, or hated him, really; for most of the war I thought of him as a very inconvenient nuisance."
"Especially when he got you sent to Azkaban."
"Indeed," Lucius replied. "Thank you so much for reminding me. And then, of course, he destroyed our Lord, and it turns out it wasn't just luck, or other people's magic, as he had always maintained, but in fact Harry had been working actively to destroy the Dark Lord's horcruxes. "
"Horcruxes?" Draco asked. "I remember Bill Weasley said something about that; 'eggs of evil' he called them. Something to do with immortality? And Voldemort had more than one of them?"
"Yes," Lucius replied, passing over Draco's use of the Dark Lord's name. Even after all these weeks he still couldn't say it; but he was secretly pleased that his son seemed to have got over the inhibition that the Dark Lord had placed on all his followers. "Horcruxes enable you to anchor your soul to this world; you cannot actually die until they have all been destroyed. Harry explained the Dark Lord's actions to Arthur Weasley, Dempster Wiggleswade and me in a meeting here a few weeks ago."
"Wiggleswade?" Draco asked. "The Daily Prophet reporter?"
"Yes, but he is also a Ministry official, so Arthur leant on him. Anyway, to create a horcrux, you have to murder someone, and split your soul, leaving a piece in an object. The Dark Lord made seven, which probably explains a lot of his insanity. The Ministry has suppressed most of the details, but since you're with Harry, you need to know."
And with that, Lucius explained the whole history of Lord Voldemort and six of the horcruxes.
"Fascinating," Draco said, "but you said there were seven? Nagini only makes six? Or have I miscounted?"
"No, you're right," Lucius replied. "But I think you should ask Harry about the last horcrux. That was very personal; he didn't tell us much about it."
"What aren't you telling me?" Draco asked.
"Ask Harry. He may even tell you more than he has told us."
"Alright," Draco replied. "We've come a long way, haven't we?" he asked.
Lucius looked at him quizzically, arching an eyebrow.
"You and me," Draco explained. "I can't imagine us sitting down like this six months ago. Or you letting me get away with swearing."
"I guess I've mellowed a little," Lucius admitted. "But then, you are a man now, and I need to give you space. And perhaps I've been desensitized; we did have a rather impolite house guest six months ago," he continued drily.
Draco chuckled. "True," he replied. "And also I guess we've incurred the Debt since then. Can you say how has it affected you? And you haven't really explained why trained Aurors are so important, you know."
Lucius thought for a moment or two.
"When I sent Harry away after the trial, it made me feel awful; ever since then I've been feeling more and more protective of him. To begin with, I'm sure it was the Debt; but watching you two, I've realized what an incredible man he is. So I think it's no longer about the debt at all. I think I can say that he is my son, and I love him like I love you. That's the real reason for my concern about the Aurors: Harry's safety at Hogwarts and future happiness as an Auror himself, if he still wants to be one, are at stake."
"We haven't talked about that much," Draco admitted. "Too busy thinking about the present, I think."
"Malfoys should always have an eye on the future," Lucius replied. "Thinking of which, I must have another chat with Miss Granger."
"Hermione?" Draco asked, surprised. "About what."
"The future," Lucius replied. And he would not be drawn further.
-#-
The two of them returned to the reception room, to find a huge fort of cushions and blankets taking up nearly a quarter of the room. But there was no sign of life.
"Harry? Teddy?" Draco called.
In answer, they heard the last thing Lucius would have expected to hear in the Manor – the bark of a dog.
"What?" Lucius exclaimed. "Who let a dog in the house?"
Draco, however, smirked knowingly. "I think you'll like this dog," he replied, levitating the blankets to reveal Teddy curled around a black Labrador, happily petting it.
"Oof!" the little boy said. "Oof, oof!"
The dog barked joyfully in reply and stroked Teddy's hair very gently with his front paw.
"Where did you come from, fellow?" Lucius asked.
The dog looked up at them with sad, wet eyes, and Lucius couldn't help but agree with Draco's assessment – it was an adorable picture.
"Aww," a voice said behind them, and Draco and Lucius turned to see that Narcissa and Andromeda had entered the room. "Looks like Teddy has a new pet," Narcissa continued.
"Not that new," another voice said, and they all turned to see that Teddy was now being cuddled by a different dark-haired creature.
"Harry!" Andromeda said, aghast. "You're a –"
"An animagus, yes," Draco continued, a little petulantly. "And he transformed on his first go."
"Dragon!" Narcissa said, her voice sounding amused and rather knowing. "You're not jealous of our Raven, are you?"
"I am a bit," Draco confessed as Harry got up and passed Teddy to his grandmother.
"Well," said Harry, moving over to his fiancé, "perhaps this afternoon we can work on your animagus form?"
"I'd like that," Draco admitted.
-#-
Eva Thillin was bored out of her mind. She had adopted a strategy of keeping her head down, not saying very much and really just hoping that no-one paid her any attention. Unfortunately, the strategy was working a little too well: no-one had spoken more than a polite request to her for days, and it was starting to dawn on her that she needed these people. Unlike her classmates from Beauxbatons, she did not have parents with large reserves of cash to fall back on; she would have to make her own way in the world, with no-one to look out for her.
Well, she would overcome. She always did. Potter, she knew, had not quite forgiven her – or at least, he was still wary of her. It would have hurt her that he didn't trust her, except that she knew perfectly well that he was right to do so. The put-upon orphan she portrayed to the world was a mask to hide the hard-as-nails person she really was. Though sometimes, in her more honest moments, she wondered who the mask was designed to fool.
The world? Or herself?
-#-
After lunch, the rain stopped and the sun came out, though it was still cloudy and a little chilly. Teddy went down for a nap, and Andromeda assured Draco and Harry that it would be a long one as he had been so active in the morning; so they took advantage of the change in the weather and sat outside in Draco's garden.
To begin with, they just sat together, enjoying one another's presence, and a comfortable silence grew between them as they watched the clouds travelling across the sky and the strange shadows that the stones in Draco's garden made.
"Father and I had a good talk this morning," Draco said eventually.
"Oh?" Harry replied non-commitally, knowing that Draco would continue in his own time and not wanting to pry.
"Yes. He told me some more about the horcruxes that Bill Weasley mentioned."
"Eh?" Harry said.
"Yes. Father discussed how the Dark Lord made six of them deliberately. But apparently there was a seventh; he said you would be able to tell me more about it?"
"I?" Harry asked.
"You," Draco replied.
"Ah," Harry said, lapsing into silence. He thought for a moment. He really didn't want to talk about this again; on the other hand, Draco deserved to know all about his past, and he couldn't really be anything bit grateful that Lucius had left it up to him to tell the blond.
"It was the night he died for the first time," Harry said eventually.
Draco placed a hand on Harry, but did not respond otherwise; Harry was grateful for the warmth of the touch, and the surrounding intimacy of the silence.
"Somehow, no-one really knows how, he managed to leave behind a piece of his soul when he died that night. And it lodged in me," he said eventually.
Draco drew in a sharp breath. "So you were a living horcrux?"
"Yep. That's why I could see into his mind; we were connected by it for all my years at Hogwarts."
Harry grew silent again, and then decided he needed to tell the whole story, and began to talk about the night he walked into the Forest expecting to die. This time, he left out nothing: he told Draco about the Resurrection Stone, about his parents and Sirius and Remus being with him till the end. He told about the Avada Kedavra curse that Voldemort cast, and how he had gone to a strange place, and met Albus Dumbledore and the homunculus form of the horcrux that had actually been killed by the curse. He told how he was given the choice to go on, or come back; and how he had chosen to come back, horcrux-free, knowing that once Nagini was killed, Voldemort would be completely mortal.
And Draco listened in silence, not daring to say a word; and his heart, which he had thought was as full of love for Harry as anyone's heart could be, seemed to grow twice the size and twice as full. There were no words to say, no sounds that could truly convey his sense of the depth of the debt of gratitude and love that they all owed to this man, this incredible, impossibly good man, who had gone willingly to his death and then, even knowing that the shades of his parents and godfather were waiting for him, willingly came back to finish the job.
And, Draco thought as his arms circled Harry in a tight grip, because Harry came back, he and his father had been set free from the Binding that Voldemort had placed on their magic. Saved from dying horribly and swiftly. And saved to know the love of this incredible man, as husband and son. He loosened his grip for a moment, but only so he could move; and all at once Harry was very surprised to find his lap suddenly full of a weeping Draco.
"Are you all right?" he asked, and, to his great consternation, the concern in his voice seemed only to upset Draco further. He wrapped his arms around his fiancé and started smoothing his hands reassuringly over his back as he murmured to him.
"I'm sorry, Dragon, I didn't mean to upset you, please forgive me…" he said softly, repeating the sentiments over and over again.
It was a few moments later that Draco regained composure enough to trust himself to speak. When he did, Harry had no trouble detecting the Black blood in him, as he sat up and looked Harry straight in the eye.
"Harry James Potter," he said, "you have nothing to be sorry for. I am awed, and amazed, and humbled at how much you have done for the Wizarding world. And rather ashamed at how little recognition you have for it."
"Well," Harry replied, feeling rather intimidated by such a strong outburst from Draco, "um, the Wizengamot does listen to me…"
"Yes," Draco said, "but the Ministry hasn't given you any honours, and the general populace still seems to mob you; and half of them seem to think they should curse you for being with me, or try to pull us apart."
"The Ministry did give me the title 'Destroyer of Voldemort'," Harry said, feeling torn as he recognised the truth of Draco's words but also wanted to stick up for his friend Kingsley.
"Oh, right," Draco replied sarcastically. "And that really helps, doesn't it. Just what you wanted really."
"What I really want is to be left alone," Harry replied. "And that's never going to happen. So I'll take what I can get. At the moment, that's you. Which makes me very happy. Now, about that animagus form…"
Draco decided to accept the blatant change of subject; if he really did make Harry happy – and there was no reason to think he was lying about that – then that was good enough. For now, at any rate. He closed his eyes, and concentrated on the magic at the centre of his soul, as McGonagall had suggested at one of their sessions. He felt it swirling and circling around him, and suddenly had a strange new feeling as he seemed to catch hold of it and pull it around himself.
The first indication that something had happened was a gasp from Harry; as he heard it, he realized he felt quite different; there was a tingle of magic around him, and his muscles felt very different. There was a lot of power in them. He opened his eyes, to find himself too large to sit on Harry's lap any more, so he slipped off and stood on all fours next to his Raven.
All fours? What?
"Wow," Harry said, and then giggled a little. "Trust you, though, Malfoy. You couldn't be anything common could you?"
Draco looked down himself and discovered his animagus form. He let out a sly smile and found, to his considerable consternation, that he was purring; but he couldn't be upset about it when Harry wrapped his arms around him.
"You're gorgeous," he said. "But please forgive me if I don't play with you; I don't think a Labrador makes such a good playmate for a white tiger …"

Notes:

Grateful thanks as always to the wonderful Bicky Monster for helpful suggestions.
Thanks: To all who are following and subscribing! It gives me a lovely warm feeling that you're interested. And double thanks and treacle tart to those who comment.
Awards: Returning to Sanity won Silver in the Harry/Draco section of The Non-canon Awards! Thanks to all who voted.
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