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Chapter List
- 6
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Chapter Seven: A Bitter Breakthrough

Severus kept to himself for the next few days, checking up on Hermione�s condition by way of Poppy, who acted as if she wanted nothing to do with him whatsoever since the day he left the infirmary in such a huff. Miss Granger had to have seven stitches, he was told, and would probably be too sore and swollen to attempt any form of conversation for at least two weeks.
He was surprised overall by the younger mister Malfoy�s behaviour. This was the same young man who once helped him bring in certain information against the Death Eaters for the Order and was now seemingly reverting back to his adolescent behaviour. He knew the boy had been keeping contact with a few of his father�s old friends but didn�t think it that big of a worry until now. Was he really against the dark side as he once claimed to be, or was it all just an act? He was so sure the boy had changed.
However, the death of his father did strike Mister Malfoy very hard, and there was a definite change in his demeanor shortly afterwards. Perhaps a talk with the boy would clear a few things up, if Draco would even sit in the same room with him after damn near breaking his nose. Which Severus did not regret one ounce, godson or no.
It was also the first time that Severus realized that Draco and Hermione must have had a long and bitter rivalry while still in school. Which led him to wonder of how he treated her while she was a student here. He knew he wouldn�t have been a nice man, regardless�but was he unnecessarily cruel to her like he tended to be towards Potter and Weasley? If so, it was amazing that she even bothered to accept any sort of working relationship with him afterwards.
With these thoughts in his mind, he headed back to his room and read a few more entries from his journal, absently scritching a certain feline familiar behind the ears who happened to drop by as if he had just returned from summer vacation.

Once again those damned brats have managed to create more havoc in my already-hellish nightmare called life. A whole series of exploding cauldrons today and I have a feeling that Weasley was behind it. If only Albus would let me set up a few of those Spyscope surveillance devices around the room, I wouldn�t have this problem. Potter looked extra guilty and Granger tried to her best to look innocent, but I have a feeling she was the one who was acting as the look-out. If Albus wants to lose the house cup this year, he�s got a few Gryffindors who are more than willing to lose points for him.

He snorted, for that was so typical of him. He remembered most of the incident, but as usual, had no recollection of Miss Granger�s presence during the scenario. He flipped a good bit ahead to see further entries.

I think something must be wrong with me. Today started off just like any other day---the staff meeting was just as boring as watching blast-ended skrewts mate, and that might even be more interesting to say the least. The conversation at breakfast was equally excruciating and I think I can honestly say the feeling I have for Mister Longbottom is indeed �hate.� This is something I usually reserve for Potter but lately, the Longbottom kid is starting to make Potter look like a godsend, and yes, that will be the last time I ever put anything like that in written word ever again.

However, today the usual suspects were throwing hexes around like candy, at least that is what I saw upon entering the classroom, and I noticed the Granger girl with rather large fangs at that point. She was trying her best to cover her mouth with her hands but the teeth were so long she would have needed four pairs of hands, almost. I was extremely angered by the whole scenario and when one of the boys made a comment concerning Granger, I spoke without thinking and offended her. She looked as if she were starting to cry before running out of the room, and I must admit, I felt truly horrible. I honestly can�t believe I said that and I really should find some way to make it up to her.

Severus couldn�t believe he had ever felt bad for anything concerning the likes of insulting Gryffindors, but if what Albus had told him about his relationship with Miss Granger, he must have had a soft spot for her. But why her? There were other girls just as pretty, and some who were rather smart as well, perhaps not as smart as Granger, but just as bright and quick-witted. Well�maybe.

Sighing as he closed the book, he stood on his feet and headed to bed. He didn�t want to read anymore tonight, because he knew if he did, he wouldn�t be able to stop.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Mondays were spent working on breaking down the potion, as usual. Severus had secretly been working on this in his spare time and was just about to break the mystery of it all, but he kept that to himself. If the girl knew he was close to finding all the answers, he was almost certain she would want to brew an antidote right away and the thought scared him.
He had always prided himself on being a stoic figure and never one for foolish behaviour, and most of his past involving Granger sounded foolish, indeed. Sometime in his past he had either lost his mind or went soft and he didn�t like that at all. No, he would not be the one to break and lose his footing as the revered and uncaring and fearsome Potions Professor. It was all he had, and no one would take that away from him.
Even if they did smell nice.
Even if they did offer him coffee.
Even if they were still nice to him after he treated them like complete shit.
The professor sat down again and put his head in his hands. He knew then that he was falling for the girl, and it was just something else that he didn�t want to deal with. His wounds had healed, save for his memory lapse, and all scars gone without a trace. His strength was fully restored and the menacing, fast-paced walk had returned. And the one thing they were working towards to fully heal him completely, he didn�t want anything to do with. He was so afraid that his old self had been the type to publicly moon over the girl and make a total ass of himself, and he was afraid to see if he had been right.
It was at that point that a very excited, yet tired-looking Hermione burst into the room.
�Severus! I got it! I�ve been up since one o�clock this morning but I�ve finally cracked it!� she shouted. He looked up at her, almost hopeful before steeling himself against this news. This was something he was hoping to avoid for another few weeks. He kept quiet as the animated girl went on, silently tapping his right hand against the table.
�There�s a very good chance that since you ingested some of Poppy�s Peppermint Solution several hours before they made you drink the potion that the damage is only temporary unless you take an antidote! For some reason the peppermint additive negated some of the more permanent effects of it---I�m not exactly sure why, but I can always work on that later!� She spoke in such a rush he was close to snapping at her, but yet he remained silent.
�However,� she paused, catching her breath and still very much excited, �I was able to quickly come up with an antidote that should take effect almost immediately! You would be surprised if you knew how easy it was, Severus! Once everything fell into place, it just snowballed from there!� She held up a small vial. �This should do it, and one dose should be all that you need! Oh Severus, this is fantastic!�
She set the vial in his hand and watched his fingers curl around it, and for a moment, she thought he was going to smile and thank her. Instead, he just set vial down in a nearby rack on the table. For a good minute, he said nothing, and when she was about to open her mouth he cut her off.
�Well done, Miss Granger. You have completed your task in a timely and efficient manner, and although not as difficult as the Jupiter Glass potion, it is still quite a large accomplishment indeed.�
Her grin returned and he continued, �Congratulations, Miss Granger, you have definitely earned your title as a Potions Mistress in your own right.�
Her smile faltered a little bit. �But Severus, I�m nowhere near to getting my Mastery of Potions certificate, and you know it. Besides, you haven�t even tried the antidote to see if my theory is correct.� She tried to laugh lightly, but it sounded weak to her own ears. Something wasn�t right.
�I�m sure the antidote would work fine, Miss Granger. You�re always right, if I�m correct? I trust your outcome with the solution is successful. And as for your title of Potions Mistress, I will have all the necessary documents drawn up and will write as many letters of recommendation as you see fit to have.� He stood up, not looking at her. He tried to walk past her but she grabbed his arm.
�Severus, wait�aren�t you even going to drink it?�

He stood up straight then and turned to look at her. �No.�
The confusion in her eyes was almost too much for him all of a sudden and he started to walk out of the room.
�So I just slave all night over this potion so I can help you and you just walk away? That�s it?�
He rounded on her. �Sometimes you have to slave over potions for weeks, months even, just for the outcome to be an utter failure, Miss Granger! You think that just because you stayed up since one in the morning and completed your task means that you accomplished something truly great? Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but as a Potions Mistress, you will just have to get used to a few setbacks now and then!�
�But I did it! This isn�t a setback!� she yelled. �I made the bloody antidote just for YOU and you�re not even going to try it?� Her voice was pleading at that point, and he couldn�t look at her. His own inner emotions were turning against him.
�No. As far as I�m concerned, there is nothing wrong with me.� He forced it out. He had to.
He looked at her then, and he could see the hurt clearly and so deep that he could almost feel it. �Well, you can always hex me and force me to drink it, just like they did!� he spat, but she didn�t flinch. He watched as the tears slowly trickled down her face but she kept her expression stony.
�No. I can�t make you, and I�m not going to force you, either.�
It wasn�t more than a whisper but he felt it like a thousand knives cutting into him. She turned around and left without another word and for a split-second he felt as he might tear up himself. What the hell was wrong with him? He just found the solution to getting rid of the girl and for some reason, all he could feel was a disappointment with himself as a person.
With everything mulling around in his head, he went back to his rooms. When reading didn�t take his mind off of things, he kept pouring one scotch-whiskey after another until he lost all consciousness.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

�What in Merlin�s name did you drink last night?� a familiar voice bellowed out to him.
The professor opened one bleary eye and tried to focus on the old man giving him a rather amused look. Albus walked over to the teapot and poured two cups and handed one to the extremely hung-over man.
�Thank you,� his voice rasped out. �And �too much,� to answer your question.�
The old wizard nodded. �I thought as much. You really shouldn�t do that, you know.�
�I know, I know,� he tried to hiss, but his heart wasn�t in it. �But I did anyway. What time is it?� He sat up a bit straighter on the sofa and tried to ignore the searing pain behind his eyes from a drunken migraine.
�It�s half-past two,� Albus chuckled. �After you missed breakfast and lunch, as well as your classes, I thought I might want to check up on you.�
Severus quickly sat up, and noted that despite his cheerful demeanor, there was something the headmaster wasn�t telling him. His good-natured attitude seemed wary and almost forced this morning�well, �afternoon� at this point.
�I didn�t realize I slept this late. I do apologize, Albus. It won�t happen again.�
�That�s quite all right, my boy. It happens to everyone now and then.�
�No it doesn�t,� Severus added, standing up and ignoring the dizziness. �I�ve never missed a day of teaching due to inappropriate behaviour and I�m not about to start now. I hate to cut our chat short, Albus, but I really need to wash up and take over my class. God only knows what Miss Granger is trying to teach the fifth-years right now��
�She�s not here, Severus.� It was spoken almost too softly.
The younger man�s head snapped up and looked at the old wizard with a confused look similar to the one Miss Granger had given him the day before.
�What do you mean she�s not here?!� he spat.
�That�s another thing I was hoping to find out from you. I took the liberty of canceling all potion classes today as one of the house elves made it a point to tell me that her room had been vacated since sometime last night.�
With that, the professor jumped up leaving Albus sitting alone in his sitting room. The older wizard wasn�t entirely sure of what was going on, but he knew that Hermione�s sudden departure had something to do with Severus, even if not intentional.
Another forty minutes went by and a very irate Professor Snape returned, damn near slamming the door behind him full force.
�Of all the�!�
�Well, don�t take it out on the door.�
His head shot up. He didn�t think Albus would still be in here, yet there he was, sitting just as calmly as he was earlier.
He had went to check her rooms, and just as mentioned, all traces of the girl�s belongings were gone. Intrigue was pacing furiously, meowing as if something were wrong, and Severus swore loudly and kicked the doorframe in frustration before returning to his own quarters. Which brought him back to the present.
�I didn�t expect her to leave, Albus.� There. He said it. He only hoped he wouldn�t have to elaborate on it.
�Why do you say that?�

Damn.

He took a deep breath. �We had a disagreement of sorts last night and I�� he sighed. �I don�t know, Albus. I really don�t.�
�If you don�t mind me asking, what were you two disagreeing on?� He could almost see the look on the headmaster�s face and he knew it was serious.
Severus closed his eyes. �She found, or rather �made,� I should say, the antidote for my condition.�
�I don�t see how that would be a problem,� Dumbledore offered, taking another sip of his tea.
�Oh for the love of God, man! I�m not going to have you drag this out of me bit by bit so I�ll make it short and sweet. I didn�t drink the potion. I offered her the Potions Mistress title and told her I would write her letters of recommendation, even! She argued against it��
��and she had every right to,� the older wizard cut in, only to be ignored.
��and I refused to drink it and for some reason it set her off. I thought that maybe after getting her title that she would be happy and move on to pursue her own career. I thought that was rather decent of me, and she didn�t even take it,� he finished, but he knew it wasn�t how he truly felt.
�Well, as generous and hastily-accepted as a premature Potions certificate would be for some, have you even considered that there were other things more important to her?�
�Like what?!� he asked, incredulously.
The headmaster shook his head. �I�ll leave that up for you to decide.� And with those parting words, Albus had left him alone.
Another ten minutes passed by with the professor staring at the floor. As confused and angry as he was, there were a few answers that he needed at the moment, even if he was fearful of what they might contain.
Severus took a deep breath and walked over to the bookshelf and took the leather-bound journal into his hands once again and flipped to the one section he was afraid to read the most. And they were the entries previous to the night he lost his memory.
- 6
- 7
- 8
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