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Searching My Soul	By : snapesgirl1981 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 14674 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Searching My Soul
by snapesgirl1981

Chapter 7

When Snape returned into the room Harry had not yet moved from his chair and still stared at his own feet inside shabby sneakers which for once were his own. Dudley had bigger feet than him and therefore Uncle Verhad had grudgingly agreed to buy these shoes- which was now almost four years ago and they looked quite dirty and worn. For some reason he was extremely aware of the way he looked, in his too big, torn jeans, the tasteless shirt and the worn shoes and he cringed when he imagined Snape�s always exquisite robes. He chided himself for not yet having bought some ordinary clothes instead of only school robes- he had the money in his vault in Gringott�s. A deep scarlet blush crept into his cheeks as he felt Snape�s gaze on himself trying to imagine what the man thought.

For a moment he was silent and then moved to the window crossing his arms over his chest and staring outside again.

�Tell me what is wrong Potter? We have no time to play games, I don�t have the time at least.� He sighed. �And quite frankly I am not in the mood.�

Harry looked up and inhaled deeply. �I know I look shabby.� He was only whispering this but his voice was laced with pain.

Snape turned around not changing his position otherwise and raised a brow. �You surely lost some weight, Potter but I assume that now that you are returning to school you will soon gain it all back.�

The green eyes flickered slightly and he looked down again. �I meant my clothes, Sir.� The silence stretched after that and after a second Harry added almost inaudibly: �Compared to Draco Malfoy I look like I am sleeping under bridges.�

�And why is that important all in a sudden if it hasn�t bothered you till now?� Snape�s voice sounded still controlled but something crept inside, a feeling so fleeting that Harry couldn�t catch it before it was gone.

Harry gulped. �I don�t know; Sir.� It was a lie but he had no idea how to convey the truth.

�I see.� Snape moved closer to the table and forced Harry to meet his eyes. �Looks can be discieving, Potter and there are people who are able to look through them. It doesn�t matter if a wizard is clothed well when it only disguises a corrupt self.� He bored his black eyes into the boy�s until he nodded. �Good, now you should go upstairs and move your belongings into my room.� He placed his hand for a moment on Harry�s shoulder and then almost as if daunted by his own daring he took it back quickly. �I have to leave again and I want you to not leave the house.�

Harry nodded and with one last gaze Snape left the room.

After having moved his trunk, Hedwig�s cadge and his broom to Snape�s quarters he had decided to study some more- it surely couldn�t hurt his grades. He had to do better in his studies or he wouldn�t even be accepted to auror training and somehow he knew his greatest obstacle would be potions and his potions Master. So he pulled out his sixth year potions book and began to read up stretching out on the huge bed enjoying being surrounded by Snape�s intoxicating scent and feeling instantly reminded of the wonderful feeling of finally arriving at home this morning. He had just read the seventh chapter about advanced healing potions when he heard steps approaching the door. A second later the door opened and Snape�s huge intimidating shape filled the frame and he looked almost surpised to find Harry there.

But then his face cleared and he shortly nodded and closed the door behind him. To Harry�s surprise he sat down next to him on the bed and raised one brow.

�I have to say I am astounded Potter- you are studying for potions in your holidays?� Humor rang in his voice and it was laced with amusement as well.

Harry looked up in defiance and closed the book with a snap. �I thought I should start working before school starts because I want to do well in all my classes. I have plans that go beyond Hogwarts you know?� His voice sounded hostile all in a sudden and he fully suspected his teacher to reprimand him but to his surprise he simply grinned.

�Potter grew a backbone, who would have thought?� he mused snickering slightly. When he saw Harry�s angry face he raised a hand in defence. �Spare me your ramblings about your career plans Potter, if you want to remember you have to defeat the Dark Lord in the near future- hopefully at least.�

Harry turned on his back and stared into his teacher�s amused eyes with more defiance than before. �I will defeat Voldemort, don�t worry.�

�Oh and please tell me how you will do that, you great wizard? Surely you don�t need Albus Dumbledore or my meager help for that? I figure you manage all on your own.� A kind of bitterness had entered his voice now.

Harry let his head fall back onto the pillow. �Of course I need you, why do you always like to take my words that way? I never said I could do it all alone, I never said I wanted all this attention.� He felt to his horror angry tears in his eyes. �Just so you know I would trade my fame and reputation in a heart beat for having my mom and dad back!�

Snape�s gaze softened instantly and he almost looked sorry- almost. �You know you have to do better in potions to make it through the N.E.W.Ts with the approbiate marks for being able to enter auror training.�

Harry was grateful for the change of subject. �How do you know I want to become an auror?�

Snape chuckled. �It doesn�t take a spy to know that Potter.�

�Harry.� Harry inhaled deeply. �My name is Harry, Sir.� He didn�t know where he took his daring from but there he was.

�I know that Potter.� He slowly leanedwardward and his dark eyes were suddenly clouded by something, an emotion again but as it was with Snape, Harry couldn�t decipher what kind of feeling exactly. �But as you might remember I have a part to fulfill and it would not be wise to fraternize with my supposed enemy.�

Harry rolled his eyes. �Fraternize? I am sure you calling me by my first name would not ruin your cover, Sir. As it is you are treating me like vermin already so I don�t think anybody would notice if you still handed out your usual insults and detentions.�

napenape chuckled appearing amused again. �Don�t worry, I wouldn�t dream of changing that, Potter. But I have to say I am wondering why you of all people all in a sudden want to play nice with me.�

�I always play nice with you, Sir. I didn�t start this ridiculous game of insults and dislike. I just can't see why you hate me so much. I am not my father, not am I like my father in character. I didn't enjoy what I saw in your pensieve but I can't change any of that. I am sure as hell don't agree with what my father and Sirius, Sir.� He sighed softly and risked another glance in his teacher's face. He saw some quickly fading anger there but also acceptance and Harry knew in this moment that whatever Snape said in the future, he was forgiven. The decade-old grudge was gone and this simple but honest apology had done what time had failed to accomplish.

You get some more lemony parts soon but I told you I wanted some plot. Makes the juicy parts much more enjoyable. Please review and tell me if you want more and I am open to suggestions about what you want to read.
- 6
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- 8
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Searching My Soul