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Shattered	By : Adriana Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 11986 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Shattered

By Adriana

trixielou60@hotmail.com

This chapter is dedicated to Ireth . . . that �sad little person�
(hehehe). Thanks for the kind reviews!
Thanks to you all.
***************************************************
Your gentle verses, tender, teasing, bold,

fall fair to heart's awake, evoking bliss

and blush of words. Each moment do I hold

as sweetly stirring as a morning kiss.
But fragile flows the blood through vacant veins

as slow, the journey into warmth begins.

In hollow chambers, only doubt remains

beneath Desire's ever aching skin.
~From the poem "My Waking Heart" by Claire Brown Bower
***********************************************
Chapter 7: Waking
Pacing his room at 2:00 in the morning, Severus found that waking up in a
cold sweat gave him a different perspective regarding the events of the
previous day. He'd left the beach, his body all a-tingle with thoughts of
Hermione watching him while he sexually fantasized about her. When he came back
to the house, he'd checked on her but she was fast asleep in her bed, her back
turned away from him. He took the time to have a glass of wine, and mentally
replayed everything that had occurred over the course of the last twenty-four
hours. He was still processing his thoughts when he retired, asleep almost before
his head hit the pillow. He was vaguely aware of swirling dreams with soft
sighs and wild, wet kisses and his body relaxed in contentment. Amazing really,
as a peaceful sleep was almost unheard of given his recent history.
Three hours later, with the suddenness of an unexpected death, he found
himself immediately awake, his mind in a state of chaos. She was his first
thought.
It was the rainy season in Belize and while they'd been blessed with
glorious weather for two days, the heavens had opened up in the middle of the
night and sheets of rain were hitting the hacienda with terrific force. The
darkness of his bedroom was punctuated by flashes of lightening, the random
pattern reflecting the scattered nature of his thoughts.
He'd been so tangled up in Hermione Granger that he was in danger of
completely losing himself at the mere thought of her. The reality of her would
be even worse for him, as he didn't even know who he was when he was with her.
He couldn't believe that he'd lost control of his life in such a short period
of time.
It was time to take back that control.
While there was nothing he could do about his status as "Traitor
Extraordinaire", he could certainly keep himself from foolishly falling in
love . . . or in lust, anyway. He could not allow himself to become distracted
by thoughts of either, there was too much at stake.
He let out a quiet groan. Why the fuck was he thinking about love?
This thing he was feeling was mere lust and nothing more. He could deal with
it. He hadn't been in love since before he joined forces with Voldemort and
even then, he couldn't say that it was really love. It was more like the deep
longing for something he'd never had before. His parents . . . they'd certainly
never loved him, of that he was sure. Instead, they'd looked upon him as an
irritation, an intrusion into their private little world. Thankfully, they'd
limited their damage to their only child, so at least he was spared from having
to share his pain with other siblings. He learned early on to deal with his
suffering alone and in silence. Both selfish, his parents had barely tolerated
his presence, and it had been with a sense of relief that he'd gone away to
school at Hogwarts. In his seventh year, he'd fallen for a girl in Ravenclaw,
but her family had deemed him unsuitable and the relationship had been abruptly
severed. He still hadn't recovered when he joined the Death Eaters a year
later. An emotional cripple, Voldemort had played upon his insecurities, making
him an easy mark for manipulation.
After two months in the Dark Lord's service, he'd forgotten all about love.
It had drained away from his psyche like blood from a wound.
"This is pointless," he said to himself.
He could never be that young boy again-- trusting, open-- sharing the
secrets of his heart with another.
Simply put, he could never go back.
Putting a halt to his pacing, he eyed his bed with distrust, as if it was
the cause of all his turmoil and all of his sweet dreams. Lying back down, he
willed himself to go to sleep --
To go to sleep and dream of nothing.
***************************************************
Hermione felt infinitely better when she woke up the next morning. Pausing
to give a cat-like stretch, she closed her eyes blissfully and smiled a secret
smile.
Her thoughts drifted to the previous evening and to the sight of Severus
Snape rising from the water, a vision of her deepest fantasies. It was
ridiculous, really . . . he'd been her teacher for seven years and nothing in
their previous acquaintance had prepared her for what had been revealed to her.
How could her view of him have changed so drastically in such a short time?
Sitting up in bed, she thoughtfully chewed on her lip, a habit from her days at
Hogwarts.
What did this mean? She knew that she wanted him, but for what, she couldn't
say. No doubt, she found him beautiful, and perhaps that was enough to tilt her
world off its axis. Her mind betrayed another image of him, in the Shrieking
Shack ten years earlier . . . his oily hair clinging to his skull, his face
contorted in hatred and spittle flying from his mouth as he poured out his
rage. So much ugliness wrapped up in a tall, spare frame. She'd hated him then.
And then in the intervening years, she�d had occasion to work with him in
the Order of the Phoenix and her attitude towards him had changed. Instead of hatred, she�d only felt pity for
him . . . he�d seemed so alone and so unloved.
And so incredibly unhappy.
Who was he, really? Was he Michaelangelo's David or was he Dante's Lucifer?
Both, probably.
He had been so gentle and kind in the aftermath of her attack from the
Haulthici. His eyes had held a tenderness and concern that she knew had been
reluctantly wrenched from him in an unguarded moment. ped ped in his arms,
she'd felt safer than she'd ever felt before, clich� as that sounded. No matter
what happened between them in the future, she knew that she'd been an
unexpected witness to a part of himself that he'd held tightly for most of his
life. Perhaps only a select few had ever seen him like that-- Poppy certainly,
and probably Albus and Minerva as well.
Her experience with the opposite sex had been rare, to say the least. She
had always regarded love as something more important to others . . . . Ron for
example. While Harry had coveted it as something he felt he could never have,
Hermione had always viewed romantic love with a jaundiced eye. It wasn't that
she didn't think it desirable, it just wasn't necessary. Love wasn't going to
get her where she wanted to go, although she learned that channeling love was
important in healing and therefore, as a matter of necessity, she'd willed
herself to bring it forth during times of healing. It had taken a lot of soul
searching on her part to even attempt to explore those feelings. But loving
another to the point of distraction was not something she was willing to do.
She unwillingly thought of Viktor Krum. Viktor had professed his undying
love at the beginning of her 7^th year and her response to that was
to make a hasty retreat, telling him that she wasn't ready for it and she
didn't know if she ever would be. They'd parted bitterly and she never saw or
spoke to him again.
Why on earth was she thinking about love after twenty-four hours alone in
Severus Snape�s com? You�ll notice that my
interpretation of Cho Chang�s reaction to Cedric Diggory�s death is different
from JK Rowling�s. Again, this was
written before OotP came out. I
pictured Cho as more of a �lost love� for Harry. Oh how wrong I was, LOL.
And finally I'd like to thank my wonderful new beta, Elizabeth. Her
contribution was invaluable (did I spell that right, girlie?)
- 6
- 7
- 8
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Shattered