Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Permanent Mistakes	By : firegoddess100 Category: Harry Potter Crossovers > General - Misc Views: 9037 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Christmas in England Part 2: Perspectives on A Perspective Life

Harry Potter was scared. He'd been scared before in his life; when his friends had been threatened, or when he was almost killed by Voldemort once a year"�but this was nothing compared to the fear he felt now.

He was going to be a father in 3 months and this scared the shit out of him. And now, as he lay in his bed at the Burrow, waiting for sleep to claim him and holding his wife close, the reality of the situation finally sat heavily upon his chespurrpurred on by the Weasley's obvious acceptance of Willow and their perspective child into the family. He had no idea what he was doing.
He loved Willow. Well, he hadn't when the baby had been conceived, but they loved each other now"�but were they ready for this absolutely HUGE addition to an already shaky and new relationship?

He snorted softly. Did it matter? Not like they had the choice or anything. And he wasn't the type to even consider either abortion or adoption, despite the threat that Voldemort still posed to his friends and family. This child hadn't done anything to deserve the kind of life that Harry had himself lived, and he wasn't about to tell his own offspring that Daddy had walked away from them because he was a selfish prat. This thought sobered him somewhat. Indeed, he had given this subject a fair amount of unconscious thought as he went about the business of teaching class everyday, attending Order meetings and keeping track of his often-in-peril wife eventually coming to the conclusion that despite his fear of screwing this child up somehow (Willow had assured him that this wasn't possible unless he decided to run off or something"�Harry thought she might have been half serious at the time"�) he wouldn't change their situation for the world.

But the fact remained that he didn't know what he was doing. He hadn't had a father growing up and so he didn't have a basis for comparison. And Uncle Vernon certainly didn't qualify for this position. HE wouldn't be putting his child in broom cupboards for instance. And they would be loved. They would have their own room, their own toys, and the love of two parents who loved each other.

Which brought him to the next thought that had been crawling around in his brain for the past month: just what were he and Willow? Truth be told, he didn't know. He had grown to love the redhead in the time that they had been together. And this, he had to admit to himself, was definite cause for concern.

Willow and the baby were a liability in his life, something that Voldemort could and would use against him, and definitely something that he had promised himself he was stop acquiring when Voldemort had started killing his loved ones. But now that he had them"�he would die before he'd let anything happen to them.

From beside him, Willow muttered in her sleep and stirred lightly. She hadn't been sleeping well lately at all, the baby becoming extremely active at this time of evening and disturbing her slumber.

"You're thinking too loud,"� Willow murmured quietly to her husband.

"Well look who's awake,"� Harry drawled lightly. "The baby kicking?"�

"Like a fiend."� She groaned, wrapping an arm around Harry's bare chest and burrowing her face into his side. "What were you thinking about?"�

"Mmm? Nothing"�just"�stuff."� He said awkwardly.

Willow's head came up and she shot him a smug look. "Right. Try again Mr. Potter. This time with feeling."�

"OK, fine,"� Harry sighed. It was funny. They had only really known each other for less than half a year, yet Willow could read him as well as Hermione or Ron could, and he had known them going on 13 years. "I was thinking about"�us."�

"Us?"� Willow said amusedly. "What about us?"�

"You, me, the baby"�"�Harry paused. "Voldemort. I was just wondering how we're going to get through the next year of so."�

"What do you mean by that?"� Willow furrowed her eyebrows at him. "We'll do fine. I mean, we've got both the Watcher's Council and the Ministry on this Voldemort situation."� She paused, looking up at Harry's concerned look. "Is this about you and I and our personal relationship, or is this about your overprotective tendencies?"�

Harry looked amazed. "How do you do that?"�

"Do what?"� Willow smirked, knowing that she had hit the nail on the head with that last statement.

"Know exactly what I'm thinking."� Harry murmured, placing an impulsive kiss onto her forehead.

Willow shrugged lightly and grinned. "You try having the slayer for a best friend and not to be able to identify EXACTLY when she begins to shut down in order to, and I quote, "�save others by pushing them away.' But you've never met Buffy have you?"�

Harry shook his head. He hadn't ever met the slayer but he had heard so much about her from Giles, Angel, Xander and Willow that he felt like he did. "She does that too?"�

Willow nodded her head briskly. "And how. But you Harry Potter, you are worse. I've never met someone who liked guilt so much as you do."�

"Excuse me?"� Harry asked in a shocked voice. She was right of course and Hermione and Ron had called him on this many times but it somehow felt worse coming from ones wife.

"You heard me. You love to feel the guilt. Gives you something to brood about. And don't tell me you don't brood."� Willow continued, fixing him with a glare before going on. "Buffy does too. Worrying about a situation and brooding about it does not fix the problem."�

"Willow,"� Harry cut in awkwardly. "Not that I'm underestimating Buffy or anything, but I have a Dark Lord after me who would love nothing more than to kill you and our unborn child. I'm pretty sure Buffy's never dealt with anything like this before with such heavy ramifications."�

"Oh really?"� Willow laughed indulgently, purposely sounding patronising in order to deflate some of the hero complex that was gradually growing around Harry as it always did when he became noble. "Remind me to leave you and Buffy alone to exchange some war stories sometime. I'm too tired to prove myself right."� She sighed as she took in Harry's triumphant look, the one that he always got when he thought he had won an argument but she decided to let it pass for the moment. "Look, the baby and I will be fine. You don't need to be concerned for us. Voldemort stands no chance."�

"And how do you know that?"� Harry murmured, knowing that they wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon unless they talked this out.

Willow rolled her eyes. Well, the baby-and Harry it seemed- wanted her awake, so she would be, at least for the time being. "I just do okay? Ron and Hermione are brilliant strategists and Giles too. Hell, Angel was one of the Scourge of Europe and he's willing to help WITH, I might add, Wolfram and Hart to boot."� Suddenly a thought occurred to her, one that had been rolling around in her head for a month now but that she was hesitant to suggest due to its dangerous nature. "And I have some skills you could benefit from, if you want to take him down that is."� Indeed, these "�skills' were the ones that Willow had picked up from her journey into the realm of darkness she had taken with Rack. She knew things now that could make even the straightest hair curl and that Harry would benefit from if he hoped to defeat the Dark Lord.

That had also been a revelation to her, knowing the prophecy. Well, everyone knew the prophecy now since the Daily Prophet had put it in print but this revelation HAD stalled Voldemort slightly; he had more to lose if he lost the battle and now had become more calculating in his attempts to neutralize the threat Harry Potter posed to his plans of world domination.

All this aside however, Willow had come to realize in the past few years that you had to fight fire with fire and if that meant getting your hands dirty than you should do so. Therefore, she had immediately thought of teaching Harry darker magic to counter the potential threat of Voldemort. But there were ramifications to this action, Willow knew. If improperly and quickly learned, dark magic had the potential to eat its user alive in its potency. Indeed, the power inherent in such spells was a rush not just experienced with white magic, at least the simple kind and Willow only wielded the more complicated type when she was forced to. Certainly not when she was pregnant either.

The problem with teaching Harry would not come from the threat of addiction though. Willow was more concerned about his reaction to her dependence to the darkness and her subsequent trip off the deep end after Tara's death that would come from the lessons. Harry was aware of none of this. He knew her girlfriend had been murdered but in the past few months Willow and her husband had been preoccupied with other things like Voldemort and her pregnancy to actually sit down and talk about all the gory details of their pasts. Willow had a feeling Harry too had skeletons in his closet. No, in the past few months their relationship had very often been a physical and superficial one. (This had been in part to the hormones that now constantly raced through Willow's veins, and of course to the newness of the relationship.)
Willow knew that if she broke down and told him about her past that the relationship would not go away; Harry already loved the baby too much for that to happen entirely, but she was positive that this bearing of her soul would ultimately lead to the end of the honeymoon period and a return to real life and she wasn't sure she wanted to do that.
"Look, can I talk to you about this in the morning?"� Willow asked, deciding to deal with this tomorrow for one because she didn't want to attempt a conversation like the one they needed to have this late in the evening and for another because the baby had finally stopped kicking and looked like it might give its mother some much needed rest.
"The baby finally stopped kicking?"� Harry smiled nervously, secretly happy that this conversation appeared to be over. Indeed, they hadn't gone over many aspects of their pasts with each other yet and he was concerned for what her reaction would be to his childhood, the ongoing battle with Voldemort, and the sometimes eclectic nature of his past relationships. He was quite positive too that Willow had something to hide from him as well.
But for now, Willow simply nodded and snuggled down against his chest for the second time in the past hour. Harry tightened his grip on her and brought the covers up to cover them, silently thanking whoever was listening for the woman-and whatever baggage she quite obviously carried- in his arms and the child that they had mistakenly but ultimately miraculously created. They would talk tomorrow.
- 6
- 7
- 8
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Permanent Mistakes