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Delightful Pain	By : sabreenthequeen Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 36261 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter but this plot. If I see someone stealing it, I will not hesitate to sue (lol) or flame...yeah flaming would be nice. I like venting out my anger.
Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to my reader mystic from FF.NET whose prediction shall partially come true. You bloody seer! Lol
Author's Note: Please pardon the grammatical and spelling errors I may have in this story. I haven't yet gotten it beta'd but hopefully from the next chapter and onward you won't see as many mistakes because I will have it fixed.
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Delightful Pain
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Chapter VI: Confessions
His POV:
"You have made me your prisoner," said her shaky voice. "And now..." I heard her sigh and look at me straight in the eye, her cinnamon orbs blazing. "Now I beg you to release me," she said more firmly.
I sat there at loss with myself. For the first time I didn't know what to say. I processed her words as she lay curled up at my side, my arms around her, her amber eyes boring into my own. I never felt more exposed and weak in my life. Guilt weighted down my heart at the sound of her words, her confessions. It was true. All she said was completely true. It was because of me that she had no more friends. She was all alone. Though why Potter and Wealsey were so thickheaded to not see the reason behind her changed form, I knew not. However I did know that I was responsible for all the bad that had happened to her.
But her other words had brought my heart to a stop and butterflies were fluttering in my stomach and a pool of a newer, deeper emotion rippled through me like a tidal wave and I closed my eyes.
'Why is it one moment I hate you and the next I lust after you?'
My mind had finally caught up to the meaning behind her words. She lusted after me? But why?
My eyes opened to come back to rest on hers again. She stared intently and defiantly. I could tell how much courage it took for her to say those words. She was as confused as I was. These teenage hormones of ours were getting to the best of us and we both were somehow trapped in each other's company.
I remembered those eyes of hers, the way she stared at me during Transfiguration. The way her eyes searched through my soul making me unable to keep my feelings to myself. She was staring at me, her eyes glazed over as if in a trance. But I could not bare to look at her. She looked so alone, so weak. I couldn't believe her so-called- 'friends' don't see the hollowness in her. A mile away I could tell the way she walks; a living corpse, simply breathing and doing life's other activities with no heart put forth into them. During meals I would sneak glances and I could tell how lifeless she looked. The churning in my stomach continued at the look helplessness in her eyes and I was overflowing with sorrow and disgust at myself. How could I have done such a thing?
'One moment I want to hit you and the next...the next I want to kiss you'
She wants to kiss me. My eyes lowered to her lips. Soft and pink, delicious and irresistible. One kiss from her would make me loose all sense of control. The boundaries would be long forgotten. It was those poisonous lips of hers that was slowly killing both she and I. It was those lips that caused me to perform the worst sin imaginable.
I stood up abruptly, a thousand emotions rippling through me. Her lips, so tempting, was the cause of our unease. She said that I had made her my prisoner? But didn't she see that she had first trapped me? I had released her the night I apologized yet it was her who came back. Back here yelling at me and telling me all sorts of things about the mental agony that she said I created within her.
Did she know what she did to me?
I felt anger boil inside me.
Guilt was a feeling no Malfoy was allowed to show. I never knew the feeling at all but here I was torturing myself with all sorts of thoughts that were forbidden to me. I apologized to her. Never had I done that in my life. The words slipped so easily from my tongue. 'I'm sorry.' However I did... yet she wanted more from me. What else could she possibly want? I had stopped my nightly visitations. Stopped myself from looking at her. Stopped my desires in order to cease the conflicting pains that I caused in her. Yet she still asks me what I had done to her? But what about me? What had she done to me? One moment I had become this angered, sex-driven monster that fed on her blood and cries and next I've become a pathetic loser that grieves in what I had done.
She watched me, still on the floor. Her cheeks were stained with tears, her eyes boring into me, confused by my actions.
'You have made me your prisoner. And now...now I beg you to release me.'
Those words cut through me and I suddenly found it hard to keep my thoughts to myself. Those lips of hers looking so innocent were really not as they seemed. It was those lips of hers, that body, her aroma of goodness that had drawn me to her. It wasn't my fault that what ever had happened did. It was her. If she wasn't so tempting then none of this would have happened. If her mere presence didn't make me feel the way I do, then I wouldn't be ashamed of my actions for it never would have happened and she wouldn't stare at me so.
"You ask me to release you?" I croaked, my voice seeming foreign to my own ears. "How can I release you when you had trapped me yourself? How can you stand there and tell me that I made you my prisoner when you yourself are the jailer. You stand there so innocent making me seem the villain when it was you who began all this. You ask what I had done to you and I now ask you the same question. What had you done to me? I can't answer your question but can you answer mine?"
She stood up yet said no word; speechless just as I was moments before.
"You say that I had made you a prisoner and that you wish for me to release you. How can I release you if I hadn't captured you in the beginning. It was you. Your beauty, your tempting smile, your innocence that had trapped me. What spell have you cast on me? What have you done that is making me feel this way, Granger?"
"I didn't cast any spell," she said, her voice quivering as she spoke.
"But you have!" I yelled. "Why else would I want to kiss you? Why else would I even want you to be in my presence? A muggleborn such as yourself shouldn't even be a feet away from me but I'm still drawn to you. It was your perfection, your innocence that had me envious and I wanted to be the one to make you imperfect, to scar you. Why else do I suddenly care for you? Why is it that when I saw your bloodied back, your cries and your loneliness it had made me so disgusted at myself? I never felt guilt before so why now? Why is it I cannot look you in the eye in shame? If this isn't a spell then what else can it be?" My voice going from soft to louder, echoing through the common room and bouncing off the stone walls.
"No I haven't! It's you! You trapped me. You made me your prisoner! I haven't done a thing!" she yelled back, standing up, all her frustrations escaping from her throat in aloud rumble.
"Yes you did!" I shot back.
And then we stood then, staring hard into each other, panting as we tried to calm ourselves. Our eyes were still locked and I could see frustration and confusion clearly evident in her gaze yet there was guilt in them too just as mine was and anger. Lots of anger. And I was sure my eyes mirrored the same expression. However there was something else in her eyes and mine showed them too. It was a feeling forbidden to both she and I. It was...lust.
We both felt it. Both of our eyes were darkened with the same feeling and my heart pounded at the revelation. She lusted after me. She wanted to kiss me. She wanted to have me at her side forever.
I was so engrossed at this new feeling and thought that only when her soft lips pressed against mine did I know what had happened and the both of us sighed and moaned at the contact. How wrong it was, yet how right it felt.
She parted just as I realized what she had done and our eyes still locked, fiery brown with mystical gray. All the previous emotions that I noticed from her gaze such as anger and frustration had completely gone and she was left with only one expression...sheer carnal craving. And mine, mine portrayed the same emotion. Our eyes darkened with lust.
Her hands had wrapped themselves around my neck, her fingertips digging into the flesh behind my head and neck drawing a tingling, ticklish sensation that I suddenly found very arousing as we still locked gazes. One of my hands were around her waist drawing her closer to me, the both of us moaning after our bodies were pressed tightly together after so long. Not only a week, yet it felt as though an eternity had passed since I held her in my arms. The only difference was that those would be forceful and brutal and this a mutual embrace.
My other hand was on her cheek and I noticed a fading scar stretching from her cheek to her chin. It was faint but it was still there and I traced it gently with my finger remembering the time with these very same nails had dug into her flesh, her blood mingled with her tears staining my finger. She closed her eyes relishing the feel and I felt her tremble in anticipation. It was then I gave her what she wanted, a tender kiss where I poured out all my guilt and sorrow, letting it flow outside of me so I was left with nothing but lust. My hand rubbed her cheek softly as my tongue met her own. We played a slow erotic dance as our thoughts left our minds and we were left with only one feeling. My kiss was such, in which I took out all that guilt to awaken the lust within her. To awaken the beast that was trapped deep within us.
I tried all I could to keep this as slow and gentle as I can. Time seemed to pass ever so slowly and it seemed to us that we were the only to people here.
My previous thoughts of hearing her scream and cry in pain made me determined not to hear them again so I gently caressed her cheek as my other hand drew lazy circles in her lower back that made her hum. Suddenly her lips parted from my own and we were both left breathless because our kiss was so slow yet passionate.
She pushed me away from her using all the strength she had which shouldn't really be much since she was weak after my visitations yet I was startled and didn't protest. Pretty soon I found myself on my back on the sofa I had been resting on before she had arrived and she climbed on top of me, her face expressing a look I had never seen her wear before. Again she attacked me with a brutal kiss, one that I would use on her before and we found each other in a battle of tongues, our hands roaming on each other's bodies, throaty moans echoing through the room.
Fire ignited with every touch. A blowing storm of lust. Frenzied emotion of lust and hate hazed our mines, our bodies loving the feel of the other. Stopping was an idea far from out mind. Our emotions increased exponentially. Her mouth was possessively over mine, her hands in my hair pushing my mouth into hers as though she was trying to engulf me inside her mouth. Our lower bodies grinded against each other, our want increasing at such a rate, I could not determine.
I felt her fingers graze over my chest and I sighed as I felt her palms on my bare skin. Suddenly I felt her hands down over my trousers and opening my eyes I seen her completely topless as well and wondered when it was that she had taken off her shirt or whether it had been I who had done so.
I held her hands with one of my own to stop her from unzipping my pants. Our gazes locked once more and I heard her give out a frustrated sigh and dip her head to kiss me, yet I moved my head to the side so her lips only barely touched my own. She raised her head in confusion and instead of kissing her as she expected me to do, I stared at her. Scanning her exposed flesh from her navel up to her mountainous breasts were I found bruises that had yet not healed. The now familiar churning in my stomach continued as I noticed the forced hickeys on her neck and another scar, deep and fresh. Looking up I saw her stare at me and the lustful expression didn't turn me on as I would have liked but scared me and made me even more guilty.
What the hell was she doing? It was fine that she was ready to forgive me but kiss me and seduce me like this? What happened to her? Was this another change I caused in her?
It was then that I realized what I had to do. This was wrong. She wasn't supposed to feel this way for me. I was her rapist. I caused her so much pain and her wanting me was crazy. I was going mad and now I'm sure she was going crazy too.
I pushed her off of me and threw my feet over the sofa so it reached the stony floor, the coldness digging into the flesh under my feet and bringing me chills. My eyes darted back to her to see her confused expression.
"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice still sounding husky.
She stared at me for another minute and I looked away finding myself unable to look her in the eye again. Guilt showered over me and I felt angered at what I had done. At what I had caused.
"I-I do-don't know," she stuttered.
I stood up and picked up her white school shirt which I didn't know who took off, me or her, and handed it to her to cover her body. I suddenly felt the need to protect her. To cover her up. Maybe it was to end my lustful thoughts that occurred while seeing her naked, ready and waiting for me.
She looked up at me, her eyes perplexed. I took my own shirt and headed for the portrait door.
"Where are you going?" she asked, breathless.
I reached the back of the painting of the girl and the unicorn and turned my head to the side slightly so I could see her from the corner of my eye. She looked lost, as though my leaving was her only speak of hope left. As though she never wanted me to leave for I was all that she had. It was then that I realized something else.
She was right and so was I.
I replayed her words, her confessions in my mind, and then I remembered what I said; my confessions to her. It was now after sharing this out of control kiss, did I realize how much our words were true.
I had made her my prisoner in some way or the other and she too had trapped me. And it was because of this that our thoughts and emotions were on a border of hate and lust. We were trapped in this new feeling. We were weaved so tightly together it was driving us to the brink of insanity. Guilt... sorrow... lust... hate.
"To free us," I replied and left her before she could utter another word.
And the only way that could be possible would be to confess. And that's exactly what I did.
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I went to Dumbledore straight away. Actually I didn't go straight away. After my encounter with her, I was left with a raging hard-on and only after taking care of that did I go to his office.
Confessing to Dumbledore was the only way that both she and I could be free. I could be finally free of all this guilt and her...I'm not sure how this will make her free. I don't know what she wanted from me but all I know is now I don't care what happens to me after. I'd rather go to Azakaban and rot in jail to pay for my sins than see her mope, her life upside down with no aim or goal. Telling Dumbledore would get me in trouble but at this point I didn't care about what would happen to me. I would finally be free from this guilt and Hermione would never see me again. Yeah maybe that would free us both.
Dumbledore first offered me a lemon drop as was his custom and I, of course, declined the offer for my mind was on other things. Finally I told him everything I had done to her for the past month being unable to keep myself silent for a second longer. He simply sat there on his chair in his office, stroking his long white bead and occasionally saying 'I see.' At last when I told him my tale, leaving out the bit that happened today and the fact that Hermione was beginning to lust after me, he stood up from his chair and turned his back to me.
His expression as I talked was calm and I wondered what was going on in that old head of his. What would he do to me now? Would I be sent to Azakaban straight away? Would I be given the Dementor's Kiss?
Finally he turned to face me and simply told me to go back to my rooms and begin to pack my bags and shift to my old dorm in the Slytherin Common Room in the morning. I sat there with my mouth agape. No reprimanding? No harsh words? No calling for the Aurors? I wondered what he was thinking again but instead of asking, I stood up, thanked him, and walked out of his office.
I didn't know what Dumbledore wanted. I didn't know what would happen to me tomorrow but today, right now, I finally felt a whole lot lighter and that's all that mattered to me.
I didn't know what would happen now. I didn't know how this would control my desire to hold her. I didn't know how this would end her confused emotions about me or how it would end mine. Perhaps by not having her in my presence, it would slowly end these feelings we had toward one another. I know it sounds unlikely but maybe if I didn't see her and she didn't see me, then we'd slowly put all that happened this past month behind us and everything would go back to being normal. I wish everything would. I'm not used to having this foreign feelings of guilt and sorrow and hopefully after this confession, it would end and I'll be back to how I was before. Hopefully after going back to my old dorm, I'll be back to my old self.
Her words scared me. She wanted me to be at her side forever. Her passionate, possessive kiss frightened me as well. It wasn't like her to be like that. I needed to get away from her. I needed to put a stop to this spell she cast on me and maybe after freeing her, she would free me.
I'm not sure what will happen to us now. Would I be able to keep my feelings towards her at bay? Would I be able to wake up in the morning and find myself with no more sweaty sheets and a raging morning boner? Would I be able to stop my lustful fantasies which seem to hang over me like a cloak whenever I would be alone?
Yes, maybe I can. If I were able to control myself in the midst of a snog that only in my dreams did occur, then surely this would slowly end. Surely my thoughts about her to come to a cease. Somehow this seemed unlikely but I was determined to try. I was determined to end this and bring our lives back to it's rightful course.
That is, if I don't go to Azakaban.
Whatever would happen, all I know is that finally this guilt was lifted off my shoulders. I would be able to look at her and not cower away in shame. I would be able to look myself in the mirror and not see a heartless rapist being reflected at me. At least now I didn't feel ashamed at myself.
And all it took was a simple confession.
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A/N: Well thanks a lot for all the wonderful reviews! I am aware many of you might think Draco is going soft. I'm trying my best to make him not but whenever I ask him whether I should make him more of a bastard he doesn't say a word back and looks at me all guilty-eyed. I know many of you are surprised by the way he's acting but it's just fanfiction you know.
Also thanks for all the reviews. I was trying to get people more aware of rape like many said, but my imagination took over me and I'm left with this chapter and these events. I'm sorry if I have disappointed anyone. Hopefully the newer ending I have planned will get people to regain their faith in me.
Elecktra Malfoy: I have read "Let the Gams Begin" not only here but in hpff and I'm telling ya, you better update!!! Thanks for all those insightful words. I'm glad you really are understanding what I'm trying to write unlike others... *glares at FF.net flamers*

Who cares: wow such wonderful words you have there. This plot is most definitely not prefect, I assure you. In fact there are times when I feel like abandoning it because the direction of where it's going... Is not good at all. But thanks anyway!

Jeannette: I don't like it for obvious reasons. I guess I doubt myself. I'm scared I won't be able to please everyone and wind up with a story everyone will hate due to it's content.

Dragon34: good question.

JW: Amen to that!

Wantan: first you love me then you hate me then you love me again? LoL I'm confused!

Merika: *wipes tomatoes off face* There I updated. You can stop throwing those now.

Hpfan: I'm really sorry about what happened to you. When people tell me this sort of stuff, I never know what to say. Hope you do get over it sometime. I imagine it's quite hard but you'll get through it. I'll pray.

Andrea: thank you dear!

Nicole: Wow huh? At least it's better than tomatoes I got from someone *glares at Merika*

Raffy: YAY! *does a dance* I thought you had disappeared. I was thinking about Draco indeed shagging her brains out... But of course that would just not do! The perv got a conscious and look what he did here too! *smacks Draco* Why'd you have to go confess!
Review Please!!! You know you want to! *grins like a Cheshire cat* (I don't even know how a Cheshire cat grins but oh wellz!) Also if you still want to be included in the mailing list, leave your email in a review. I emailed all those people who left their email. If you want to be removed from the list please tell me.

All Hail,
Queen of Serpents
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Delightful Pain