Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Too Much Of Not Enough	By : RikuRocks Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1782 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Harry Potter, nor am I making any money from this work of fiction.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Severus had been prowling the castle halls for some time before he finally saw a familiar shock of fire-red hair amongst the students, and heard a familiar voice telling off some poor sod who Severus just assumed deserved it.

�-And you do not use dark magic on another human being ever! I don�t care who your parents are either! You have detention every Friday for a month. If you think you can worm out of it, then just you try�I assure you the professors will not offer you anything better.� The girl�s voice was considerably calmer but still stern when she spoke again, louder this time. �All right everyone, the next class starts in about three minutes. Why are you still standing here?�

�Ah, McGonagall will be so proud,� the raven-haired boy commented mordantly as he neared his friend through the dwindling crowd. �If I didn�t know better, I�d swear you were related.�

�Well that Mulciber was way out of line this time. He could have caused permanent damage and he doesn�t care at all because poor Mary is Muggle-born.� Suddenly, the green-eyed girl glared at her friend. �How can you be friends with these people Severus? I know I told you that you needed to befriend some other students and that all of your house mates can�t be that bad, but�Mulciber, Avery, and that insane Black? How can-? Severus�? Are you even listening to me?�

The raven-haired teen was frowning and looking off to the side, clearly not paying attention to his friend. As soon as she had mentioned Mulciber, Severus� mind had conjured a memory, from a conversation he had been a part of shortly before the winter holiday. Mulciber and the others had made their opinions on half-breeds clear from the time they learned about them back in third year, but this conversation had been different�or perhaps Severus� thinking was the only thing that had changed.

In any case, he had forced an expression of dull interest on his face and responded with only the minimum he could get away with. Not even considering that his words could be offensive, Mulciber expressed, much to the others� agreement, that the ministry should handle the new regulations for teaching dangerous spells by simply allowing Aurors-in-training to practise on such human-like half breeds as werewolves and then euphonise the creatures when they were no longer of any use. The image of what he and his lot would do to Remus if they learned of his condition was too horrible to contemplate, yet Severus� imagination kept trying to offer some examples.

�He isn�t my friend,� the obsidian-eyed boy stated levelly. �Slytherins don�t have friends�just various levels of acquaintances. I�ve just made a couple of exceptions, since one can�t really expect Gryffindors to understand that.�

The redhead was clearly about to snap at her friend until she noticed the hint of a smirk that played over his lips on that last comment. She smiled back, until she also noticed that Severus� eyes were distant. He normally kept his focus, even when just passing easy banter. �Is something wrong? Did Mulciber do something that bothered you?�

�I don�t actually give a damn about Mulciber, Lily,� commented the obsidian-eyed teen. �It�s Remus.�

The green-eyed teen immediately sobered, �Is he that bad?�

Severus blinked as he considered his response, �Well, yes, but that isn�t exactly what I was referring to.�

�What do you- Wait,� Lily placed her hands on her hips. �You aren�t still going on about that ridiculous theory of yours are you? I told you, Remus cannot be a werewolf. He�s too�tame and well, humane to be anything other than human.�

�I was not going to bring that up,� the raven-haired boy interjected dryly, �And in the future, please do not say that where others might hear. If you must reference it, just refer to my theory or Remus� condition. It would not do for someone of a like mind to Mulciber�s to hear such a theory.�

The redhead�s brows furrowed before they shot up abruptly as she released a small gasp. �Oh�yes, you�re right.�

The obsidian-eyed teen nodded distractedly, �Yes, now as to why I was searching you out; you see, you were right about Remus.�

The girl looked at her friend uncomprehendingly. ��About your theory?�

Severus sighed sharply and crossed his arms, �No, about the�direction in which my relationship with him was heading.�

�The�?� Suddenly, Lily�s eyes widened and she released a small squeal of delight. �Oh, Severus, that�s wonderful! Come on!� She grabbed her friend�s wrist and proceeded to drag him down the hallway.

�Lily, our next class in the other direction,� commented the raven-haired boy in dry amusement at his friend�s antics.

�Yes, but the empty classes in which we can further discuss your progress with Remus are this way.�

�Our next class starts in less than a minute,� Severus reminded, �We�re going to be late as it is.�

The redhead kept walking, sounding completely undaunted as she replied, �For this, class can wait.�

The sallow-skinned youth rolled his eyes. �Might I remind you that you are a prefect? I don�t think skipping classes to talk about boys is the behaviour the headmaster was hoping you would encourage in the other students.�

�It�s just another review class for OWLs anyway and we both know we�re going to pass. Besides, I am not sipping class just to talk about boys,� Lily corrected matter-of-factly, �I am skipping class to assist my dear friend who needs help wooing the future love of his life.�

She then dragged Severus into an empty classroom. As she spoke, she closed the door, cast a locking charm, Mufflato, and then a quick cleaning spell before sitting down on a desktop. �This could be what determines whether you and Remus have happy futures filled with love and acceptance or terrible ones filled with misery and loneliness.�

Severus arched an eyebrow. �Isn�t that a bit melodramatic? We�ve only turned sixteen�and barely over a month ago at that for Remus. I don�t think our entire futures are resting on my ability to- Did you just use the word �wooing�? Remus is not some withering flower with a mind full of romantic ideals, Lily.�

The green-eyed teen grinned and held up her hands defensively, �Okay, okay�sorry to insult your little pet werewolf.� The girl laughed outright when Severus responded with a mild glare. �Oh wow, you really have it bad, don�t you?� The glare intensified slightly, �Sorry. I�ve just never seen you like this before.�

�That is because I�ve never been in this position before,� the raven-haired boy pointed out. �Now, if you�re done giggling like a ninny, do you think you could listen to what I�ve been trying to tell you?�

After a brief internal struggle, Lily managed to tone down her amusement and excitement to a beaming grin. �All right, I�m sorry, Severus. I�m listening. Now, what�s the problem? Is it the house rivalry thing, Potter and the other gits, or the fact that Remus is a boy�and er, your theory?�

Severus signed and crossed the room to lean against one of the recently cleaned desks. �It�s a little of each actually�except the boy bit. I already know Remus� preferences won�t be an issue there and clearly mine aren�t or we wouldn�t be having this conversation, now would we?�

�That�s true,� Lily nodded and moved to sit on a desk across from her friend. �Some people don�t take well to discovering this sort of thing at first though.�

�I discovered the attraction some time ago,� Severus admitted levelly, �Remus noticed something, but I doubt the idea that it was him I had noticed even crossed his mind. That�s when he told me about his own preferences�he wanted to make sure I knew he understood and wasn�t bothered by it.�

�He wanted to comfort and assure you that it didn�t make him think any differently about you.� Lily smiled, �Obviously, he cares about you. So what�s the problem then?�

�I�don�t think this is merely a physical attraction any more.� The obsidian-eyed teen crossed his arms and levelled his gaze on is friend, silently warning her not to have the expected reaction. Lily released a small squeak as she swallowed back a squeal and then nodded for her friend to continue.

�Lily, Pettigrew�s story isn�t entirety accurate.� The Slytherin chose his words carefully as he explained and kept his tone even. �Black and Potter�they claim they did not intend for Remus to be hurt, but considering their actual plan, it would have been impossible for him not to have been harmed. He could very well have been killed and Black, at the least, shows no sign of remorse. Since those smug bastards got away with it with minimal punishment, he thinks there is nothing to feel repentant for.�

The redhead was frowning now, looking both sad and angry. �I knew there was more to it than they were letting on�and to think that Potter is actually boasting that he saved your lives!�

Severus scoffed; a common action for him when discussing Potter and his mates, however, the level of sheer hatred in his eyes was new. �He merely decided to back out of their plot before it could be fully executed. Likely he was afraid of the trouble he and his soul mate in stupidity would incur. The worst part is that they got away with it because it was only Remus who was harmed�had it been anyone else they would be expelled or worse by now.�

Lily watched her friend for a moment, noticing the new levels of hatred he seemed to feel, especially when he talked about how Black and Potter had harmed Remus. �He hurt pretty badly, isn�t he?�

�He nearly died,� Severus all but whispered the words, as he would a curse he was afraid to cast by accident. His voice was stronger when he continued, and Lily could not think of a time when her friend sounded more protective or determined. �Physically, he�ll heal almost entirely, but he�s so�sad. I don�t know what to do, Lily. I�d just leave the miserable sod alone if it were nearly anyone else, but-�

�But you care about him just as much as he cares about you,� the girl finished, deciding not to press anything further yet, although she suspected another word would fit better than �care�. �Severus, I know you�re the sort to think about retribution and all, and I can�t blame you here. In fact, I�d even be willing to look the other way as long as you promise not to go too far. However, that is not what Remus needs right now.

�Of course he�s sad. He�s probably heartbroken. These are his friends, his best friends;� Lily explained patiently. �Think of how you would feel if I did something like this to you. Even if they truly didn�t think of the possibility of him being hurt, knowing they didn�t even think of him has to hurt almost as much. What he needs is for someone to show him that they do think of him and care about him.

�No matter how much he avoids attention, he has to want someone to really see him,� the redhead finished quietly, looking her friend over slowly, �Everyone does.�

The raven-haired teen rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. �I�m not openly caring or verbal about my feelings, Lily. You know that.�

�I do,� the green-eyed teen conceded, �But I also know that you can be expressive. You just haven�t found someone you feel confident in expressing your whole self to without any fear of his or her reaction. I blame your parents for that, but anyway, I think Remus could be the exception, if you�re willing to try. Come on, don�t you think he�s worth that-�

�I kissed him.�

Lily blinked for a second as the nearly silent admission processed. Then, she gasped loudly and beamed. �You did? When? How was it? What did he do? Was it closed-mouthed or-?�

Obsidian eyes narrowed, �Lily.�

The girl reeled it in immediately, �Right, sorry. So�what happened?�

�It was quick and simple, he wasn�t even conscious, but-� The boy gesture vaguely, clearly not sure how to describe the non-physical aspect of the kiss.

�Electric? Magical? Did you see fireworks or feel like you were-�

�Lily, you need to stop reading those Muggle romance novels,� interrupted Severus, hoping the slightly warm feeling across his nose did not mean that he was blushing. He really hated it when the girl knew she was right. �Suffice it to say, it left me�intrigued enough to seek out your advice. �A decision I am beginning to regret, I might add.�

Rolling her eyes, the girl waved off her friend�s last statement before regarding him seriously. �All right, all kidding aside, I can see why you�re nervous. This is unfamiliar territory for both of you and you don�t want to scare him off with your snaky, Slytherin ways, right?�

�That isn�t exactly how I would phrase it, but it will suffice,� acknowledge Severus with a curt nod and light shrug.

Lily smiled, �Well, you know you�re the one who�s going to have be aggressive if you want anything to happen anytime soon. It will take too long for Remus to catch on and act on it.�

�Undoubtedly,� the raven-haired boy agreed dryly.

�And you won�t just,� the redhead gestured vaguely, �tell him?� Severus arched an eyebrow at her and the girl rolled her eyes. �All right, all right�� She released a heavy sigh. �Then we�re back to wooing. Now wait-� Lily held up a hand when the obsidian-eyed boy rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to interrupt. �Wooing isn�t all flowers and poems, you know; it�s just a matter of earning someone�s affection by showing them signs your affection.�

�Normally, I would suggest talking to his friends, but you already know Remus as well as anyone else,� Lily pointed out with a warm smile.

Severus sighed, �He loathes falsity and any form of deceit�and he truly wants to connect with other people but he has a hard time trusting others and opening up to them.�

�Hmm, sounds familiar,� Lily muttered. Severus arched an eyebrow and straightened. �Sorry, that�s a good start�go on.�

�He�s�had a hard time finding anyone who will treat him normally once they learn of his illness.� The sallow-skinned teen frowned, �That�s why Black, Potter, and Pettigrew get away with so much with him. Not only do they know about it, but they were the first to accept him�besides the Headmaster.�

Lily grinned again, �Well there you go, Sev. You already accept him and you wouldn�t turn away because of his illness, right?�

That protective and determined fire that Lily had never seen before reared up in the boy�s dark eyes; �Of course not.�

The redhead smirked triumphantly. �So, just be yourself�only more open. If you want him to trust you and open up then you have to do the same for him. Show him that he�s safe with you, and then just wait for the right moment to pounce-�

�For Merlin�s sake, Lily, he isn�t prey��

�Yes, but the approach is similar enough. It�s not like you can sneak the next level on him.� Lily hopped off the desk and smiled at her friend, �Now come on, we want to miss the entire class, do we? Besides, you have to bring our assignments to a certain little injured werewolf in need of wooing.�

Severus groaned as his friend giggled and grabbed his arm, dragging off to class.

The day could not pass quickly enough for Severus, but after what felt like far too many hours, he found himself entering the hospital wing again just as the sun set.

�I thought I made it clear that you were not to return un-� Madam Pomfrey paused mid scold as she entered the room and saw who had entered her wing. Her stern expression immediately melted into a small, but kind, smile. �Oh, hello Mr Snape; My apologies, I had to throw out Mr Black and Mr Potter earlier and told them not to return until they�ve come to senses and will not upset my patient.�

Severus scoffed, �Then by rights, you shouldn�t be seeing them for the rest of your days.�

�They have each already attempted a return, hence my reaction when I thought you were one of them,� replied the matron with an exasperated expression. It softened again as she gazed at the raven-haired boy, �But I�m glad you decided to return so soon. Remus was able to get in a few hours of decent rest after you visited earlier and he started actually speaking again once he awoke. I think it did him good.�

The corner of Severus� mouth twitched upwards slightly as a warm feeling erupted in his chest. He had not considered his earlier visit a successful one, as far as the goal of helping Remus, but it seemed he was incorrect. He liked the idea that he had been able to make Remus feel better for even a little while. The vague smile faded as he thought over what Madam Pomfrey had said; he hoped that Black and Potter had ruined whatever progress he had made.

�May I see him now?� he asked simply, holding up a Muggle style notebook, �I brought today�s assignments and notes��

The matron smiled before he could finish trying not to sound too eager. �That�s wonderful. Remus hates feeling like he�s fallen behind, you know, so I�m sure he�ll appreciate it�and the company as well.� She pointed her wand at the curtain separating the ward that Remus rested in from the rest of the wing. �Go on in. I�ll be in my office if either of you require my aide.�

�Thank you, Madam,� Severus nodded politely and then turned to the curtain, pausing only when the nurse spoke again.

�Oh, and Mr Snape�? Do take your time. I think he�s up to a longer visit, so long as it�s more like your earlier one than his other friends�.�

�Again, thank you.� Nodding once more, the raven-haired boy turned and continued on his way, pleased to hear someone besides him, Remus, and Lily refer to him as the scarred boy�s friend.

The curtains were drawn around Remus� bed, so Severus hesitated a moment, not sure if he should just enter or try knocking on the wall. He was spared the need to make a decision as the curtains suddenly opened, to reveal Remus sitting in bed with his wand pointed at them.

The fawn-haired boy offered his friend a small smile, �Hi. I�m glad you decided to come back.�

�I said I was going to, didn�t I?� Severus entered the closed off area, closing the privacy curtains behind him without even thinking of the action. He subtly scrutinised Remus as he sat on a chair near the bed. The shorter boy looked much the same physically, but more alert than before. He also looked torn, but genuinely pleased to see the raven-haired boy.

�Yes, I know�I just thought that maybe you would be busy or�� He shrugged one shoulder lightly and smiled apologetically. �I�m sorry. Only I�haven�t had the best luck when it comes to friends and disappointment today.�

Glad for the opportune to ask without having to bring it up himself, Severus fixed his friend with a level look, �Yes, Madam-�

�Don�t say her name,� Remus interrupted quickly. He smiled mildly at Severus� confused expression. �The matron has the beds and immediate surrounding areas spelled here, you see. If you say her name, an orb on her desk glows a specific colour that coincides with the bed and she comes to check on her patient. It�s very useful, but it can irritate her if she has to keep coming to check just because we�re talking about her.�

�I see,� Severus nodded his approval at both the spell and the way Remus had obviously decided to work around it when simply discussing the nurse. �The matron, then, mentioned that she had to kick them out and refuse to readmit them for the foreseeable future. She�said they were upsetting you.� Severus paused for a few seconds, but Remus did not appear eager to fill in any blanks. ��Are you all right?�

The brown-eyed boy�s expression fell and he slumped back on the pillows behind him slightly. �Trust me, they�ll find a way around that soon enough. I�m just hoping they have the sense to stay away for the rest of the night so I can think a little without their- ...Sorry. I don�t mean to-�

Severus waved away the apology, �Do not be sorry. You have a right to express your displeasure�and if not to your friends, then to whom are you going to vent? Ask Lily, I�ve complained about Black and Potter on plenty of occasions myself. So, what did they do?� He was tempted to offer to hex the idiots, but was not sure how Remus would react to that just yet.

The scarred teen sighed softly, �James, Sirius, and Peter stopped by during lunch. It was a little awkward at first, but then Sirius�he just doesn�t get it. Anyway, James went off on him; then they started fighting and Peter was growing so nervous I thought he was going to have a panic attack and I- I just�I can�t play mediator right now.�

�Nor should you be expected to,� the obsidian-eyed boy stated, incensed on Remus� behalf. �Am I correct in assuming the fight was about their ill-minded trickery that landed you in this condition?�

�Yes. It seems it was one of Sirius� plots,� Remus murmured sadly. �As I said, he doesn�t see what the fuss was about since no one was hurt by it and-�

�Excuse me?!� Severus stood in his anger, his eyes flashing. �No one was hurt? What about you? How does he think you ended up in this sorry state?�

�I�m always hurt after my transformation, Severus,� Remus explained calmly, as though to soothe his friend. He raised a hand to place it gently on the taller boy�s forearm and Severus found himself immediately stilled by the quiet action. �Of course, it�s much worse this time, but that wasn�t part of his plan, so he doesn�t see it as entirely his fault and he�s rarely mindful of the full consequences his tricks might incur. He doesn�t see how this is any different from any other trick he didn�t think through.�

The brown-eyed boy hesitated, and then moistened his lips before quietly adding, �He actually tried to blame you�that�s when I became so upset that James actually popped off on him.

�The whole things went downhill from there,� the scarred teen practically sighed out the words. �Eventually, the matron was drawn over by the ruckus they were causing and threw them out. I expect they�ll be back first thing tomorrow, and that�s fine�I�m just not up to seeing them yet.�

Severus nodded as he sat back down, subconsciously sliding his chair closer to the bed. �I don�t blame you. Actually, I wouldn�t be nearly so kind�or quick to accept their presences again.� He smirked at the despondent teen, �How about I stay until curfew? Then, if they return tonight, I can hex them for you.�

The fawn-haired boy smiled lightly in return, �You seem a little too eager, but I�m tempted to accept. Only I�m sure it wouldn�t be very exciting for you to stay here all night��

The obsidian-eyed teen had to repress a very inappropriate mental image at Remus choice of words, which he blamed on Lily. The girl had periodically made some less-than-innocent suggestions on how Severus should prove his affection to Remus throughout the day. The raven-haired boy knew she was not being serious and assumed she had just been hoping to make him blush again, which she had not, much to his relief.

Exercising his usual self-control, Severus smirked at Remus again, �Oh yes, because it would be so exciting to do my homework by myself in the library and then read in the dungeons until curfew while you sit here equally alone and bored to tears.�

The brown-eyed boy released a small chuckle, and then attempted to hide a wince before smiling at Severus gently when he saw the flash of concern in his eyes. He gestured that it was nothing before speaking. �Well when you put it that way� Thank you, Severus.�

The sallow-skinned teen waved away his friend�s gratitude while relishing it inwardly and occupied himself with his book bag to ensure that he was not staring at the lycanthrope with any smitten expressions.

After a brief moment, Remus looked slightly downtrodden as he watched Severus remove his books and notes from his bag. �Did I miss much today?�

�Nothing that you won�t have made up by the end of the evening,� commented the raven-haired boy as he handed the shorter boy the notebook he had taken notes for him in. �The professors seem somewhat obsessed with insuring that recall everything they�ve taught us over the past five years that nearly half the work is repetitive-�

The obsidian-eyed boy paused as he noticed Remus looking through the notebook he had handed him with an expression of such partiality that he felt a strange urge to do something to ensure that it stayed there�he was not sure what though, so he simply arched an eyebrow questioningly.

Glancing at Severus fondly, Remus offered a warm smile. �I know it�s silly but I never have anything this in-depth or well organised to work with on the days I�ve missed. Thank you very much, Severus. For once, I�m not dreading the professors� reactions to my work when I return.� His smile turned teasing, �You�re going to spoil me if you keep up this attitude, you know.�

Severus tried to smirk in response, but it came out as more of a witty smile, �As if you would do anything less yourself. Actually, I have no trouble imagining you coddling over an ill friend. It�s a rather entertaining image, in fact.�

�Well you best remember that if you ever take ill and I decide to coddle you,� Remus reproached with a half-grin and a much lighter tone than he had been using before.

Both for that, and the mental image Remus� words inspired, Severus offered his friend a small, but genuine smile. �I shall.�

The next few hours passed by more pleasantly than any Severus could recall. He was not sure if it was the result of the absolute privacy of the ward, his newly discovers feelings for the boy he was with, or Lily�s advice subconsciously coming into play, but he found himself feeling less guarded than he normally was, even when with Remus. Whether from his example, the new freedom that came from not having to keep any secrets for once, or just the situation in general, the scarred teen also seemed to be more at ease than he had ever been before.

As Severus had expected, Remus had no more trouble than he did in the day�s assignments. The raven-haired haired boy helped him understand the nuances of their in-class potion assignment well enough that he should be able to answer any questions even if he had missed the actual brewing. Even without being there, Remus knew enough about their Care Of Magical Creatures study projects to teach Severus a few things not covered in class. They also got into a long discussion over the flaws in the theory they were supposed to learn for DADA.

When Remus grew tired after a time, they would take a break from class work and simply talk for a while before returning to their work. Soon enough however, they found themselves talking more and working less, which was fine by both of them, as they really understood the work well enough.

Like Severus, Remus tended to stay back and observe things around the castle from a distance, so he found the little observations that the obsidian-eyed boy normally never shared with anyone quite fascinating and entertaining. Severus soon found himself telling his friend all about the way the groundskeeper, Hagrid, seemed to be keeping something hidden behind his hut, and all about the new strange-smelling shrubs that were growing in Greenhouse Five.

�They certainly aren�t any of the plants listed in our texts or any that would come up in any school level potions or Herbology projects,� Severus explained, intrigue clear in his voice and expression. �I�ve been looking through my more advanced potions texts, and I think I found it in the book you gave me for Christmas. It fits all the characteristics anyway, but I cannot discern why it would be growing in the school��

�What is it used for?� questioned Remus, looking interested and not at all embarrassed by his lack of knowledge in the area, which was a pleasant change from when they had started working on potions together.

Pleased by Remus� interest, as well as his newfound comfort around Severus, the raven-haired boy did not bother to quell his own excitement as he answered. �That�s just it. It hasn�t been used for human consumption in ages. I�ve only heard it used to subdue certain magical creatures in recent years.�

�Hagrid has a fondness for magical creatures,� the brown-eyed boy pointed out thoughtfully.

�Yes, he does,� replied Severus pensively, seeing where Remus was going with this immediately. �If it has something to do with whatever it is he�s hiding, then it must be for work around the school or another species Dumbledore is introducing into the Forbidden Forest.�

�Of course,� Remus nodded, �If it were for class, Professor Kettleburn would be handling it himself.�

�Precisely,� the raven-haired boy suddenly paused as a thought from the previous evening came back to him. �Remus�� he began slowly, still new to the experience of trying word something to be as painless as possible. �The potions and hexes that your mother experimented with�they were for you, weren�t they?�

The fawn-haired teen looked torn for a brief moment before releasing a small sigh, �Yes.�

Severus immediately felt a strong flash of anger that was overwhelmed just as quickly by a stunned feeling as Remus grabbed his hand, looking both frightened and compassionate. The raven-haired boy could not ever recall having someone read him that quickly before, and he could not believe that Remus� concern for others above himself even stretched to this situation. That the boy was worried over keeping Severus calm and no doubt was about to defend his parents� actions was almost beyond Severus� comprehension.

�I told you before, hurting me was never their intention.� Even as hoarse and weak as it was, Remus� voice managed to be smooth and comforting. �They just�they wanted to fix me. That�s what parents do, isn�t it?�

That last question sounded so uncertain and earnest that every cruel word the obsidian-eyed teen had been about to say about the lycanthrope�s parents died on his tongue. Instead, he adjusted his hand to hold Remus� own, which was still weakly holding his. �I don�t honestly know, but I don�t think that�fixing you� -Severus spat the words out; he was honestly impressed that he had managed not to sound bitter or scathing for so long.- �Should be considered worth any risk or cost. Did they at least do the proper research so you�re life wasn�t risked every time they tried to fix you?�

�My life is risked every month anyway,� the scarred boy answered quietly, and as mildly as he could manage, which fell slightly under his usual gentleness, �And besides, what life can a werewolf have with the restrictions placed on us and the way the world conceives us? They didn�t even think I would be allowed to go to school until after mum died. I suppose they just figured that any chance was worth it.�

Severus looked his friend over thoughtfully for a moment. While his voice and expression never faltered, something in Remus� eyes told Severus that he was not hearing the full story. Thinking of his friend�s inability to lie directly, he realised what it was. �Worth any chance to whom�you? Or them? You aren�t sure, are you?�

�No,� the brown-eyed boy admitted softly. �I don�t think I�ll ever be sure, but I�m actually all right with that�I am now anyway.�

�Grown used to disappointment, have you?� The sallow-skinned teen remarked scathingly, trusting that Remus would know his scorn was not aimed at him without giving it any thought. �How often did they deem it worthy to chance your life on an ill-conceived and amateur cure?�

�Whenever they came across one that mum thought had a chance of working,� Remus explained, his voice tightening. �Dad wouldn�t know a good idea from a bad one, bless him. Fortunately, it was not often that she deemed one a possible success. Mainly, they ended up experimenting with ways to keep me properly restricted and�sedated while I was transformed.�

�What did they try?� asked Severus, torn between feeling the anger he supposed any friend would feel and the scientist part of him, which was already wondering if there was a way to help the boy that his parents had not considered.

�Everything,� answered Remus, and the word sounded unusually frightening in that context. Again, Remus seemed to read Severus easily, as he went into further detail before the raven-haired teen could figure out a way to ask for, rather than demand, specifics. �Poisons, potions, hexes, counter-curses, exorcisms, and some�more physical methods, but those weren�t for a cure so much as containment;� Brown eyes moved over the raven-haired boy slowly before Remus asked a question, �What are you thinking, Severus?�

�Many things,� the obsidian-eyed teen answered honestly, as he looked his friend over thoughtfully. �The one most worth mentioning at the moment, aside from a sudden urge to hex your father, is that your parents� experiments could prove useful in an actual effort to help werewolves�if you could recall what they used or did and the results of each attempt.�

The fawn-haired boy paled as he subconsciously crossed his arms over his stomach in a clearly defensive movement. �I remember but�you aren�t suggesting that we-�

Severus, who had been confused at his friend�s reaction at first, suddenly realised what the fawn-haired boy was getting to; �No, nothing like that.� He reached forward and gripped Remus� upper arms without thinking. �I would never use you as a test subject. Besides, any such attempt would take months, if not years, of research and observation before even reaching the point of testing on a living subject like that�and that�s for a fully trained wizard, not a fifth year student.�

Remus laughed half-heartedly and the raven-haired boy was pleased to see some of his colour return as he smiled mildly. �I think you�re about as good as the average fully trained wizard already.� He looked away, as though embarrassed. �I�m sorry. I should have known better than to think you meant to start experimenting with potions or poisons. I just-�

��Really have grown too used to disappointment,� Severus finished for the lycanthrope, his voice uncharacteristically understanding. He absently stroked his friend�s arms with his thumbs for a moment before catching himself and slowly leaning back to sit properly again. If the fawn-haired boy had found the contact, or the sudden loss of it, unusual or undesirable, Severus could not tell. �Perhaps�that�s something we both need to work on.�

Remus simply offered his friend a small, warm smile, looking unusually content for the time being. �Perhaps that�s something else we can help each other with.� He flushed slightly after making that comment, and then picked up the notes that Severus had brought him. �Speaking of helping each other, we should probably finish this assignment for Professor Binns��

The corner of Severus� mouth twitched up as, for once, he felt quite content to be where he was as well. �Yes, we should finish that while we can still stay awake through a recount of outdated policy. Have you read the chapter needed?�

The brown-eyed teen nodded, shrugging one shoulder when Severus arched an eyebrow, �I got bored this afternoon and I knew we were going to be coving the chapter in class anyway��

�Weren�t you supposed to be sleeping?�

�I was supposed to be resting,� corrected the fawn-haired boy with a mild grin. �I don�t think even the matron could call reading a chapter from our history of magic text strenuous activity.�

�True,� Severus agreed with a slight smirk. �If anything, it might have put you to sleep and saved her a dose of sleeping draught.�

Brown eyes blinked before darting to a nearly empty vile on the bedside table. �You can identify that?�

The raven-haired boy shrugged a shoulder; �Colour, texture, and aroma narrow it down to three and that�s the only potion of those that the matron would likely be administering to you.�

�Hmm,� Remus looked at the vile thoughtfully, �I can only identify them by odour, taste, and what they�re treating.�

The sallow-skinned Slytherin released a short laugh through his nose. �We should open an apothecary after graduation�we�d be able to identify and recommend anything between us.�

Belatedly, it occurred to Severus that such a statement could have hurt Remus, if his reaction to his meeting with McGonagall about his future was anything to go by. However, instead of the forced polite smile and unobtrusive change of subject he expected, Severus was surprised to receive a genuine spark of amusement in Remus� visible eye.

�That would be something,� the brown-eyed boy agreed, gracing Severus with another small, warm smile. �Of course, you�d have to brew all the complicated potions.�

�Of course,� the raven-haired boy agreed with a faint smile of his own, pleased to see the Gryffindor�s kind and pleasant nature returning and wondering if he had anything to do with it �We couldn�t have you brew someone a Drought of Peace instead of an Invigoration Draught.�

Both boys grinned lightly and continued talking and even studying a little more until Madam Pomfrey came to inform the Slytherin that it was past curfew.

Severus returned to his dormitory with a note from the matron, granting him retroactive permission to be out that evening so he did not have to worry about Filtch or his damned feline counterpart. The woman had smiled warmly and looked both proud and relieved when the sallow-skinned teen offhandedly commented that he would see her the next day as he left.

As his mind started to haze in approaching slumber, he realised that he had not fallen asleep so easily-without plotting or worrying over hierarchy, school work, revenge, his parents, or the like- for years, with the exception of recent events beyond control�until Lily forced him to befriend Remus.

He wondered if he should take the girl�s advice yet again.
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Too Much Of Not Enough