Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

That which we make for ourselves	By : magentasouth Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Tom Views: 38078 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I neither own nor profit from any part of the Harry Potter universe

Chapter List
- 1-That which we make for ourselves
- 2-Ch 2
- 3-Ch 3
- 4-Ch 4
- 5-Ch 5
- 6-Ch 6
- 7-Ch 7
- 8-Ch 8
- 9-Ch 9
- 10-Ch 10
- 11-Ch 11
- 12-Ch 12
- 13-Ch 13
- 14-Ch 14
- 15-Ch 15
- 16-Ch 16
- 17-Ch 17
- 18-Ch 18
- 19-Ch 19
- 20-Ch 20
- 21-Ch 21
- 22-Ch 22
- 23-Ch 23
- 24-Ch 24
- 25-ch 25 - provisional
- 26-Ch 26
- 27-Ch 27
- 6
- 7
- 8
Harry inched closer to the warmth next to him, his mind
gradually floating up from the depths toward wakefulness.�

He felt very comfortable and...somehow
safe.� Contented.� Rested.�

He didn�t usually feel this way and it was why he woke so
slowly.� Normally he jolted awake
unpleasantly in shock, feeling tired and crabby with eyes seemingly full of
sand.� But at present he lingered at the
twilight edge of sleep.�

He nuzzled closer to the warm smooth surface his cheek was
pressed to.�

It moved slightly and he rose sharply closer to full wakefulness.� Something tensed around his lower back.�

A hand, his mind supplied dimly.� Held.� Someone�s hugging me.�

s�nice. �

Who could be hugging him, he wondered, his mind not quite
rational.�

Too big to be a girl. S�a guy.. his
senses offered vaguely.

Ron?.. Ron was hugging him?� Why was he in bed with Ron?� Doesn�t smell like Ron..
smells like.. licorice
and no..absinthe and-��

His eyes flicked open in shock and he took in his current position in mounting
horror.�

He was facing Tom Riddle.�

He was in bed with tom Riddle and
facing him.�

His face was pressed against Tom Riddle�s
warm hard chest and his arms..well.. both of their arms really.. were
wrapped around one another.�

He could feel the chest against his face moving slowly and
swallowed in shock.� How did he get into
this bloody position?!� Had the prick
somehow imperiused him into bed?� Why?�

God.. had
they.. had he..

He moved his leg slightly and felt that he was wearing pajama bottoms, breathing a massive sigh of relief
inwardly.��

Still... how did he get here-?? ..he
remembered then: vaguely feeling cold and a bit sloshed and accepting the offer
to share the bed.�

He�d been perched on the very edge of the other side and he�d watched Tom for
ages before he went to sleep.�

Proto-Voldemort hadn�t moved an inch.�
He�d been asleep..�� Fuck.. what happened?�

Had Tom.. somehow
pulled him over and grabbed him in sleep, thinking he was that blond girl Elana?�

What would he do when he realised he wasn�t?�

Or ..or..worse
� had Harry himself somehow curled up to him for warmth while he slept?�

He�d be livid when he realised.�

Fuck.� Fuck fuck fuck.� How to get away..�

The question resolved itself when the body next to him
stirred slightly, the arms around him tightening slightly and then performing a
cursory exploration, the arm that was curled around and under him slid over his
back slightly, the one at his side, slid up to his ribs.�

�Caed?� Tom�s voice was soft
with sleep and confusion.

�Uh.. yeah.� I just woke up here.� Um.. sorry.� I.. don�t know..� sorry.� He unwrapped his arms and
tried to move away. �

Tom hadn�t released him.� He groaned
slightly and muttered.� �..comfortable..��

Harry felt panic rise up inside. He wasn�t going to let him
go.� Fuck.� What should he do?!�

But then with a heavy sigh the strong arms around him
released him and Tom turned onto his back.�

He felt him stretching all over languidly and told himself
that he was relieved that he�d let him go.�

Now, however, he could see
Tom again.�

He looked like some kind of perfectly proportioned animal.� A panther or a jaguar.� Something slinky and
graceful and velvety.�

Harry berated himself internally, forcing himself to move back, noticing in the
process that he was all the way over on Tom�s side of the bed.�

Shit.� He had probably been the one to seek him
out in sleep.� What the hell was wrong with him.
�He kept bloody noticing things about the future snake-faced bastard that he had no
business noticing.� It just wasnt
right.�

He..he couldn�t help looking at his body last
night.�

Well..It had been hard not to, what with it glowing softly in the firelight, all smooth
and muscular and bloody aesthetically perfect.�

Aaaaugh.� Alright.. so.. he
could see exactly why every idiot in the past believed the best of the young Lord
Voldemort.�

He was ridiculously intelligent, really nice and considerate..friendly..helpful.. and he looked like bloody
sex on a stick.� What was not to
like?!�

Its a mask!� Just a mask.� His mind
informed him again.�

And..and..what does it matter
if he�s maybe..well proportioned or.. fit.. or anything.. he�s a guy for
fucks sake!�

Harry had never even looked twice at guys.� He knew
he liked girls.� Tom�s girlfriend Elana had been gorgeous.. Harry had fancied
Hermione.. he�d even fancied ginny for a while.. and Cho chang.� And Melissa
Cuthbert too and he�d even found Luna a bit fanciable
for a few strange weeks at one point.

Just because he�d never done more than kiss any of them didn�t
mean he didn�t want to do more.�

He�d wanted to do a lot more than
just kiss Hermione.�

He fancied girls.� He didn�t
fancy guys at all.�

At no point had he looked at Dean or Seamus or Ron and thought.. hmm.. I wouldn�t mind kissing
him.�

Draco was practically the school cassanova and Harry�s
stomach turned thinking about touching him.�

Ok.. he�d
maybe noticed that Cedric had been
quite a good looking bloke..before.. before..he�d well.. before.. Pettigrew had..�

He shifted his mind away from the image of Cedric�s empty eyes staring up at
him from the grass in the Little Hangleton
graveyard.�

�Do you feel like breakfast first or shall we exercise and
then eat?� Tom�s soft measured voice asked idly, still slightly rough from
sleep.� �

Harry struggled to process coherent thoughts.� Tom didn�t even seem bothered that he�d woken up cuddling him.�

What the hell was going on?!�

He tried to imagine Voldemort cuddling anything.� He tried to imagine Voldemort willingly cuddling him.�

It Did Not Compute!�

�I..I don�t know� he managed vacantly,
his mind still whirling.�

Tom turned his perfect face toward him, raising an
eyebrow.� �You don�t know whether you�d
rather have a crumpet with melted butter or do thirty push ups?�

Harry blinked at him.�
No.� He didn�t.� Neither of those ideas made any sense to him
right now.� He just couldn�t seem to stop
his brain from going round in panicked circles chasing its tail.��

It jumped between various related ideas like a ball bouncing off bumpers in a
pinball machine.�

Liking girls and not liking guys.� Cuddling tom Riddle.� Cuddling Voldemort.� Being currently in bed with tom Riddle. Still!!�
The bizarre lack of reaction of said future dark Lord
to all of this.� Feeling safe and warm before he realised where he was.� Liking girls and not liking guys ..�

He swallowed and looked back helplessly, not even sure what the question was
that he�d just been asked.�

Tom frowned slightly, the corners of his lips showing that
he was amused and not annoyed, and turned onto his side toward him.�

�Are you quite alright, Caed?� You seem a bit..off.��

He shook his head blankly and offered a weak smile.� �I..� he trailed
off, not sure what he�d been going to say.�

Something along the lines of �I want to go back to my dorm room now please� he
supposed.��

Tom closed his eyes and sighed.

�Look.. It was nothing to worry about, Caed.� It was cold
last night.� We both sought warmth.�

I don�t know about you, but I didn�t find it unpleasant when I woke and it�s hardly as if anything happened.�

You are clearly overthinking things and panicking
unnecessarily.�

I believe I feel like breakfast first and exercise after.�� Gopper!��

Harry barely suppressed the gape his jaw wanted to produce
at that.�

He watched in mortified fascination as the future Lord
thingy, leaning on his elbows and looking down at the tiny elf (which seemed
entirely unconcerned at them both lying in bed together), actually ordered
butter crumpets with fresh strawberries on the side and guava juice for them
both.�

He dropped back down and turned toward Harry with a languid smile.

�If you do not wish to exercise with me, you might shower
and then I will set you some arithmancy problems or some review tasks in Charms
while I work through my routine.��

Harry blinked, bemused at how insanely normal this all felt.� Almost.. familiar.� Easy.� Entirely wrong
and weird and unnatural and yet.. simple
and easy and comfortable and familiar.�

He..Merlin help him.. against his will he liked
being around Tom Riddle.�

This was sick.

He looked down and swallowed, flinching and jerking away when Tom�s fingers
touched his chin, seeking to tilt Harry�s face back up to meet his eyes.�

�You have too much guilt, Caed�
the dark wretchedly beautiful evil monster informed him.

�I see you smile � you have a breathtaking smile, you know..
and then immediately your face is clouded with guilt
and recriminations.��

You should let such things go.� If you
are happy � be happy.. if you
are enjoying something � enjoy it...

if you feel good.. allow yourself to feel that..

at the very least in private you should allow yourself to entertain your own true
desires and feelings.��

Harry furrowed his brow.�
Lord Voldemort wasn�t someone to be taking advice from, he decided.�

Especially advice that was basically � if it feels good, do it!� That was a terrible motto.� If everyone lived like that � it would be
anarchy.�

The crack of the house elf returning cut the thought off and
he turned and sat up as two trays were floated onto the bed and Gopper cracked away again.�

It smelled amazing.�

He leaned forward eagerly, taking in the lovely spread and the
pillow behind him suddenly expanded rapidly, becoming huge and firm for him to
lean against.�

He turned and smiled thanks at Tom (who was enlarging his own pillow), and then
picked up a buttery crumpet in his fingers with anticipation.�

This was not where he expected to be at all but.. on the
other hand.. he wasn�t dead in a messy pile of
tortured flesh in the forbidden forest either.�

He wasn�t in the infirmary.. he
wasn�t at the Dursleys..

he wasn�t walking around aimlessly in a Hogwarts
suddenly full of familiar faces who didn�t give a crap about him.�

Well.. ok.. he was kind of in a Hogwarts full of unfamiliar faces that didn�t give a crap about him.�

But on the other hand.. the person he least expected to, did seem to give a bit of a crap about him.. and
maybe..he might make friends with Tom�s death eaters �
they all seemed pretty nice guys so far.�

They probably weren�t but so far they
seemed friendly � they�d watched out for him.�

And.. last
night had been kind of nice.. except maybe for the bit
where Tom changed his eyes but that was sort of not really Tom�s fault, he
reasoned since he had brought it up. �

And Tom had stopped it as soon as he�d realised how much Harry hated it.� He�d..hugged him again.. like he had when
he�d cried.�

That was so messed up.�

And maybe a large part of why it was messed up was that Harry had found he sort
of liked it.�

Like this morning when he�d woken up.� He
felt..kind of good.. till he
realised where he was.�

Maybe tom wasn�t entirely wrong about just enjoying things
in the moment and not letting all the negative little fears and guilts get in the way.

Well.. maybe a little bit at least.��

He ate a strawberry thoughtfully and glanced at the boy
sitting next to him who was sipping his guava juice and looking equally
thoughtful.�

The day flew by somehow.�
He wasn�t sure where it went, to be completely honest.�

They�d both worked out.�
Harry had been bothered when tom had transfigured his pajama bottoms into a pair of black boxer shorts to train
in, suddenly confronting him with even more of his perfectly defined body to
try to avoid staring at.�

After they started though, Harry understood why.� Tom�s �exercise routine� was hardcore!�

Harry had struggled and he didn�t consider himself unfit at all �

And it was really hard to do the squats and the stretches with pajama pants on.� He
refused to transfigure (or ask tom to transfigure) his own pajama
bottoms though.�

After that he�d showered and tom had set up Two arithmancy problems that he�d answered while he was showering.�

The rest of the day had whizzed by on charms and potions
work, with a thick Tuscan tomato soup and crusty bread for dinner and then it
had been time to go back to his dorm.�

He could feel the
last hours of the weekend dripping away as they both walked slowly down the
stairs toward the dungeons.

It didn�t seem like Tom was particularly anxious to get rid of him.� He�d put off walking him back till almost
nine thirty.� Curfew was in half an hour!

Harry hadn�t exactly pressed the point on going back
either.� He felt..kind
of..comfortable.. around Tom
now.�

Going back down to the guys in the dorm...they were all nice guys and
everything.. but he didn�t
know them at all yet and it was, strangely enough, easier to be with Tom than
face seven unknown quantities.�

Seven unknown quantities who could probably each kick
his ass in fact.� And who were all
purebloods.�

The stuff tom had started to say about pureblood traditions
had unnerved him a bit.� He�d suggested
there was a whole LOT more that was important but they�d gotten distracted
somehow and now Harry was worried something would happen and he wouldn�t
understand and would accidentally do something massively stupid.��

He hesitated in front of the shield.��

Tom looked at him expectantly and he struggled to remember what the weird
sounding name had been.� He looked back
helplessly and the other boy snorted in amusement.

�You�ve forgotten it, haven�t you?!� he grinned.� �What would you have done if I hadn�t come
with you?��

Harry half smiled sheepishly. �Um..
hidden and waited for someone to go in or out I
guess..�

Tom shook his head.�

�It was..Ophiuchus � it�s a constellation.� The snake handler, in fact.� But.. since its Sunday anyway.. I might as well change it.��

He looked down at him with a faint smirk and stepped close to the shield.� Harry couldn�t hear what he said but he moved
away and then, unexpectedly stepped close.�

He felt Tom�s lips brush against his ear as he whispered
�the new password is absinthe.��

It tickled slightly and he shivered at the sensation, feeling unnerved at
having his future enemy so close to him again,
and even more unsettled by the way his stomach had fluttered for a moment.�

Tom moved away and looked at him with a small knowing smile
that widened slightly when Harry blanched in embarrassment.�

Harry knew that he�d reacted and that Tom found it amusing.�

Mortified, he turned away and whispered the password to the
shield, avoiding the dratted perfect face.

Abraxas offered him a sly smirk when he walked in after Caed.�

He frowned back reprovingly and the look was wiped off as if
it had never been there � it wouldn�t do for the skittish blonde to see that
kind of suggestive response.� He was
already nervous enough and nothing had even happened yet.�

Oh.. but it would..he was
certain.� The way the boy had responded,
it was only a matter of time.�

It was extremely encouraging.�

He stood back slightly as Caed was
welcomed back and asked about his studies politely.� Not a shred of insinuation was offered and Tom
relaxed, relieved.�

When Alphard started to berate Caed on the gobstones match he�d
missed yesterday, Tom nodded to Abraxas to follow him and waved a silent adieu
to Caed who, gratifyingly enough, looked perturbed
that he was leaving and seemed on the brink of breaking away from Alphard to follow him.

Gyphus and Antonin
joined the conversation and asked him questions, pulling his attention back
toward them and Tom nodded at the quick pair, smiling as he turned and departed
the dorm room.�

�So... Absinthe hm?�
Abraxas enquired, the tiny smirk back on his
lips.�

The password, he knew, appeared, pinned to the dormroom walls the moment it was changed.�

�Indeed� he responded neutrally, leading the sleek
aristocrat one floor down to where the passage he was seeking was located.�

After they were safely within the dim, dusty corridor, he turned back to Abraxas,
dropping all pretence.�

�We are keeping him.�
He has ..skills.. that
I am confident will be useful.�� The
snort in response was decidedly lewd,
he noted, irritated.

�Skills... is that so?�
Do tell?� Will we all benefit from his skills?��

He had his wand in his hand in the blink of an eye and Abraxas
crashed to his knees crying out in sudden blinding pain.

�I will have none of that insolence Abraxas!..just so
that you know - �I have not ..had.. Caedmon yet
� The weekend actually was spent
tutoring him.�

Mainly in Charms and Arithmancy, if it interests you
particularly.�

I therefore cannot venture to guess whether he is skilled in those areas.��

�He is mine
however.�

Irrespective his eventual level of sexual skill, I will not tolerate any other pursuing his favours.��

�The particular skill he possesses, to which I refer, does
not concern you at present.�� Perhaps you
will work it out yourself.. or
I shall inform you when the time comes and I wish to utilize it��

Abraxas, recovering, looked up from his knees and nodded
agreement.�

�Sorry Tom..� I ..forgot myself.� It
was not my place to question.� The boy is
yours.� I will see that he is
protected.��

Tom nodded, gesturing for Abraxas to rise.� �I do not want any suggestion made to him of
my desire for him.� He is..almost painfully
naive and flighty.� It is quite endearing
and potentially problematic. �I would
prefer to avoid panicking him.�

See to it that nobody makes any ill conceived comments.� I will be..vexed.. if I am forced to deal with something of that nature.��

Abraxas, who had climbed shakily to his feet again, looked
pale and tense.� �Of
course.� He responded solemnly.�

�When will we be moving forward with the next meeting?��

Tom considered carefully.�

�The new moon will be this week.� It will
be particularly dark.� Perhaps
a good time for so many of us to be about on the grounds at once.� Darkness hides a multitude of sins.��

Abraxas, who had looked disappointed at the long delay,
brightened slightly.

�Am I to understand that we shall have.. entertainment.. then?� he
questioned with thinly veiled eagerness.�

Tom nodded once, curtly.�

�I will procure it myself.�� It will make
up for the disappointment of cancelling, last week.� There must be..no
leftovers..however.�
These things have a way of finding their way into the wrong hands.� he
said darkly.�

Abraxas swallowed and nodded. �I think we will all be able
to..deal with that. I will speak with Roan.� He is the weakest link regarding.. ..these matters.��

Tom nodded.� �I would
like to think I could bring Caed in to the circle at
that time.. However I am certain this kind of play
will be far beyond him at present.� Perhaps later at some point. �

He has a vast amount of potential.. but
some idiotic Gryffindor guardians have nearly ruined him with moral restrictions, guilt and foolishness.� It will take me a while to untangle
him.�� He paused for a moment and then
added as an afterthought.� �He may be
trying out for the quidditch team.��

Abraxas looked dubious.�
�He practically heard of the sport for the first time on Friday, If he
tries out, he�ll probably only embarrass himself..and
in so doing, all who associate with him.��

Tom smirked. �I wouldn�t be too sure.� I believe Caedmon will turn out to be quite
gifted, surprising all.�

I want him watched around Wilkes.� The
cur is already sniffing after him.��

Abraxas frowned but nodded.

�Why do I get the impression that there is more going on here than I�m being
told?!� Is he what Dumbledore said he
is?��

Tom�s smirk widened.�

�His parents certainly were not killed by Grindelwald
for their blood impurity� he responded shortly, allowing the nth generation
pureblood to leap to his own conclusions on the matter.�

From Abraxas visible relief, he saw that he�d leapt to the conclusion tom
desired at present. �

�Do you have any other matters of concern?� he asked,
already closing here.�

�Only one.� Willowstead � He
was very put out at being forced to move and is making a bit of a stink,
badmouthing you in the presence of younger years.�

Several students have expressed their thoughts on the matter to me and most
were supportive of his complaints.�

Its undermining you and it casts Caedmon in the role of usurper��

Tom nodded pensively.�
�I�ll deal with it...�

He turned on his heel and after casting a detection spell to determine the
position and proximity of other lifeforms, he opened
the passage and led the blonde, who was walking much more stiffly now, back to
the dorm.�

Entering he found Caed laughing
and joking with the others.� He showed a
mix of expressions when he turned and caught Tom walking back in with Abraxas.� There was relief then suspicion and finally
concern.�

Interested by this little display, Tom walked close to where the blonde sat on Antonin�s bed with Alphard and Roan
(while Gyphus and darius walzed around in circles as a couple with their noses in
the air, to the amusement of all.)� and put his hand on Caed�s
shoulder lightly, causing the latter to look up at him in conflicted confusion
again.�

As he watched though, the boy�s expression shifted slightly
and he offered a sheepish somewhat relieved smile as if to confirm he was
ok.�

�I�ll see you all tomorrow at breakfast then� he said quietly.� A chorus of responses came back.�

Caed asked, looking a bit
disappointed �You�re leaving already?��

He caught the amused looks on several of the other�s faces
and tilted his head at the blonde.�
�You�d rather I stayed?�

Caed opened his mouth to respond
and the strange conflicted look flickered across his face again.� He nodded slightly, looking embarrassed.�

Tom smiled down at him and brushed aside the lick of hair that had fallen into
his eye.� �Then I�ll stay� he offered
softly.�

He only needed to glance at Alphard
and Roan for Roan to get up and move to his own bed and Alphard
to shift to the side, leaving space next to Caed.�

He sat down close to him, almost but not quite touching and leaned back on his
hands, surveying the reactions of the others.�

He did spend time
with his knights.. however..since the beginning of the year he had not been in the dorm
with them most of the time and they tended to know him from a different side
than he was projecting to Caed, so the slight tension
he read in a few faces was quite understandable.�

He had not been one of them for a while now.�
He was their leader.. disrespect was punished
immediately and harshly.�

Palmer looked amused but he detected that Abraxas and Gyphus were on edge and Roan and Darius seemed a bit
strained too. �

Glancing at Caed he saw him quietly reading the faces
around him which were continuing to chat and joke cautiously, if somewhat more
subdued than before.�

They knew how to joke and relax around Tom.. and they knew how to behave around Caed..
it was the dissonance between the two models that was
the problem.�

Caed turned to him suddenly, his expression searching and he arched an eyebrow
in response, enjoying the way Caed seemed to only see
him, whenever he was present in the room.

�What�s going to happen tomorrow?� the boy asked
suddenly.� �with..with tutoring I mean.. Should I go to the library?� What classes do I have?��

Tom yawned and closed his eyes thinking.�

�hm.. Potions first period.. then nothing for two periods and then charms and defense.� I have second
period free. �I would suggest that we
spend the time writing Merrythought�s assignment and
return to the other subjects after defense tomorrow
evening��

He watched the boy jump in sudden horror. Apparently he�d forgotten the Surinaste cutting curses essay.�

Tom smirked at him.�

�Don�t fret.. All the information
you will need I have in my bookshelves.��

The relief on the boy�s face was painful to look at.�

Tom snorted slightly and let himself down to lie on his back
across Antonin�s bed.�
Peripherally he was aware of the acute, if surreptitious attention of
all of his knights even as they chatted and engaged around him.�

�What time is it, Alphard� he said
after a while, tiredly.� �half past ten� the response came.� �I have to patrol� he sighed grudgingly,
pushing himself up and glancing around the faces, pausing meaningfully on Abraxas,
who nodded.�

Last of all he turned to Caed
apologetically. �I regret.. I cannot stay any
longer.� I�ll see you tomorrow.� Have a good night.��

He stood and laid a hand on the blonde�s shoulder only briefly, squeezing
lightly and then releasing.�

�Goodnight, all.� He tossed back, stalking out of the room
and making a mental note to deal to Willowstead
tomorrow.�

Author note.

Review replies can be found at
http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/18725-review-replies/
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That which we make for ourselves