Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

The Pride of Hogwarts	By : MightyGryffindor Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 6796 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, and all characters, and other related texts, are the intellectual property of J.K Rowling, and her associates as the copyright holders. I have made no money/profit from the publishing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
The Pride of Hogwarts

Chapter 7: The good-riddance party.

Headmaster Dumbledore had called off the classes for the rest of the day, after he left with Shacklebolt for the Ministry of Magic, and with Lord Mattingly going along as a witness. They would see to it that Umbridge was arrested while she was still at St. Mungo’s, and that Fudge was dragged before the Wizengamot. However, they had to wait on Umbridge overnight, as the healers almost didn’t get certain things stuffed back into place, and that gaping maw shrunk shut.

Alex, Harry, Ron, and Hermione made it back to the common room, to find all the students coming in, and waiting around awhile until lunch. At this, Alex came up with an idea for that afternoon.

“Harry, ol’ chap”! Alex chirped. “I think what we need is a party to celebrate her getting the boot, what do you say”?

Harry looked around at everyone in the common room, as Alex made sure to say it loud enough for all to hear, so it put him in a bit of a bind; either agree, or be a killjoy.

“All right,” Harry agreed, “but after lunch, yea”?

“Why, of course, Harry, I wouldn’t think of nothing else”. Alex replied with a smirk. “It will take me that long to get some refreshments ready, as I was going to save the stuff until Halloween, but what the hell, I’ll get more”.

“More what”? Hermione squawked. “If you’re planning on something against school rules….”.

“Oh please, Granger, give it a break”! Lavender Brown complained, and Fred and George nodded their full agreement. “Quit being such a prude, and ruining everyone else’s fun! If you don’t learn to let go, no decent man is going to want to have a thing to do with a stick-in-the-mud, and that’s a scientific fact! If you don’t watch, you’ll never get laid”!

“Well I….., Well…., I’m not a stick-in-the-mud! I’ll have you know that me and Victor…”.

Here, though, Lavender cut her off. “You what, held hands? Because I know you only got one little peck on the lips when he left! It’s like we told you the other day, Granger, bats in the bush, and it’ll grow shut from non-use”!

“Why, I never”! Hermione hissed out, and stormed up to the girl’s dorm.

“Oh, shite, she’s mad now”! Ron moaned.

“That’s all right Ron-Ron, you be at the party, and I’ll show you a good time”! Lavender commented, flipped her hair, and winked at the red head.

“Go get her Ron”! Seamus leered, as his best friend, Dean Thomas, laughed out loud.

“Yea little brother”! George chimed in.

“You may get a finger wet”! Fred remarked.

“And, we’ll know if you get any”! George stated.

“Because, we’ll smell your finger”! Fred explained.

“Oh, God, I’m gonna be sick”! Harry said, and took a deep breath, but it was just about the same time that Seamus had let one off, and a silent but deadly one at that, too!

“Oh, Merlin, what the hell is that smell”! Ron said, as he pinched his nose, and turned whiter than white, which made Seamus chuckle and grin.

“Something crawled up in Seamus’ arse and died, that’s what”! Alex shouted, and Harry took off at a run for the toilet.

0-0-0-0-0

Harry almost didn’t eat lunch, not with remembering the pure hellish stink of Seamus’ fart earlier, and the thought of the twins smelling Ron’s fishy fingers. He did, though, eventually have a ham and cheese sandwich with some cold Pumpkin juice. That did settle his stomach somewhat, but he was nervous again when he noticed Alex stop by the Slytherin table, and only to speak to Malfoy and Blaise Zabini at that. He watched them for a spell, until Alex left, and then came back to his seat beside Harry.

“What was that”? Harry asked, and was a little wary.

“Oh, I invited them up to the ‘Denounce Dolores’ party, and it should be good”! Alex exclaimed, and gave a toothy grin.

“You what”! Ron exclaimed, and choked on his corned beef.

“Yea, remember, Draco is a friend of mine, so I thought it would be decent to invite him”. Alex said, as he wiped his mouth. “After all, Harry did say something about inter-house unity the other day, didn’t you Harry? Something about the Headmaster wanting it, and all”!

Yes. Alex was very good at putting others on the spot, and he had already caught Harry twice today. “All right, we’ll give him a chance”.

“Harry”! Ron exclaimed, and was wondering if it had started to snow in hell.

“He’s been okay since Alex has been here, so I see no problem now. That is, as long as he doesn’t start anything”. Harry deadpanned, and gave Alex a scowl.

“Cheer up, Harry, it’ll all be good”! Alex said, then patted Harry on the back, got up, and headed out of the Great Hall.

0-0-0-0-0

“Pampers”! Draco exclaimed again, as the bloody portrait in front of him was getting on his last nerve.

“You’re a Slytherin, and you shouldn’t be here”! The Fat Lady exclaimed, and Blaise started to laugh.

“What now, Blaise”? Draco slowly asked.

“The bloody password, I know what those are”! Blaise continued to chortle.

“What are they then”? Draco asked, as he was getting extremely impatient.

“Muggle baby diapers! The Headmaster is goin’ around the bend, I’m telling you! He’s a flaming nutter”! Blaise explained.

“He’s a flaming something, all right….”. Draco deadpanned. “Well, are you going to let us in, or do you want to wake up to turpentine running down your canvas”?

“Why, I never!” The Fat Lady scolded.

“I doubt you ever have, with all that lard hanging off you and all”! Draco remarked with a loud snort. “Now, let us in, as we’ve gave you the password, or it will be a date with turpentine within a week”!!!

At this, the Fat Lady, with fear in her eyes, opened up and allowed the two Slytherins inside, and all the while, she just knew that they would be hell to pay for it.

“Slytherins In Da’ House, Y’all”! Blaise shouted, and began to strut over to Alex, with Draco following behind, who had a somewhat squinty-scowl on his face from all the gaudy red furnishings.

At their arrival, Alex un-shrunk two large trunks, which were in fact, perpetual coolers, with the first, or the coldest one, filled with Butterbeer, Champagne, and Ale, while the second was filled with Bourbon Whisky, Rum, Scotch, several Liquors, and Wine. When the first bottle came into view, there was a huge cheer in the common room.

Here, though, Hermione had seen what was happening, and had started to stand up, as she was going to march right over to that Mattingly boy, and give him a good scolding, along with banishing all that alcohol. Why, she had never seen anyone act this way in Gryffindor, as she had always made sure they walked a straight and narrow line, and to her tune, too! Plus, there was Ron and Harry, who were accepting whisky on the rocks, and in tall glasses to boot, along with Malfoy, and that Zabini boy! Oh yes, she would most definitely put a stop to this!

Hermione never saw the petrifaction spell coming before it was too late, and she watched from her frozen view, as her roommates carried her behind a tapestry, and dropped her on the carpet, then scooted a couch in front of her! Oh, she would get even, just you wait and see! However, she was brought out of her scheming when she heard a guitar starting to play a few notes.

“All right, you all, I dug out my old Martin guitar, and I’ve got a few, well let’s just say they’re a little uncouth, songs for you today, shall I”? Alex said, and began to strum the strings. “This first song is one I re-wrote, to the tune of “Thank God and Greyhound, she’s gone, by Roy Clark, who is an American country singer”.

Here, Alex began to play, only after taking a big swig of Wild Turkey, Bourbon, and straight from the bottle at that.

“I told a true story, and you buggered us all.

You shamed us till we feel about one inch tall.

But I know we hated you, and we hoped you would fall.

So we gritted our teeth, and didn't complain.

Now we made you leave; with a simple goodbye.

We told them you're leavin', plus we did tell them why.

Now we're here at the station, and you're getting on.

And all I can think of ... is ...

Thank God and Potter, you're gone!

“Thank God and Potter, you're gone!

I didn't know how much longer, I could go on.

Watchin' me squish the respect out of you.

Watchin' me make a total fool out of you.

That big steam engine is a playin’ your song.

Thank God and Potter, you're gone!

“Thank God and Potter, you're gone!

You’ve got a stinky cooch, and a dirty pink thong.

That funky smell got lighter when you got on.

That shiny old train is a beautiful sight.

With the black smoke a-rollin' up around the floo pipe.

It may sound kinda cruel, but I've been silent too long”.

“So, Thank God and Potter, you're gone!”

At this, Alex got a standing ovation of laughs and cheers, even from the first through the third years, and whom were only allowed Butterbeer to drink. Though Alex could have sworn he noticed the Weasley twins slipping shots to the smaller kids.

“All right, all right”, Alex laughed, “anyone for another song, since Umbridge, the toad-faced bitch, is gone”?

At everyone’s shouts of glee, Alex strummed the guitar again.

“Okay, all, this one is sung to: ‘Santa Clause is coming to town’”. Alex chirped, and began the song.

“She's got a rotten twat,

A dirty asshole,

Hairy armpits,

And a snotty nose,

Umbridge is coming to town.

“She has a list, and read it twice,

About everyone fornicating tonight.

Umbridge is coming to town.

“She'll watch you while you're sleeping,

She'll rape you when you wake,

She's always up to no good,

So don't fuck her for goodness sake.

“Oh,

You better not shout,

You better not cry,

You better not fart,

Cause I'm telling you why,

Umbridge is coming to town.

“She's got a buckskin belly,

A rubber asshole,

Sagging ol’ titties,

And a wart on her nose,

Umbridge is coming to town.

“She'll gag you when you're eating,

She'll choke you when you breathe,

She always smells real funky“,

“So don't inhale for goodness sake.

“Oh,

You better not shout,

You better not cry,

You better not fart,

Cause I'm telling you why,

Umbridge is coming to town”.

The applause erupted again, and Alex took another deep swig of his bourbon, as he looked at everyone having a good time.

“All right all, how about I get some help singing up here”! Alex remarked over the noise. “Draco, you and Blaise sing this one, as I know you’ve done it before; it’s about Fudge”!

Draco was just drunk enough to do it, and so was Blaise, who walked over to Alex, and got ready to belt out the tune that Alex was going to play.

“Our next song is dedicated to our soon to be, ex-Minister, Cornelius Fudge”! Alex exclaimed. “This is sung to the tune of: ‘She’s got an itsy-bitty, teeny-weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini’”.

Here, Alex strummed the guitar a few times, hummed, and then the two drunken Slytherins started belting out the words.

“Fudge has an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie, yellow-infected, puss-filled weenie.

That was sore for the first time today.

He has an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie, yellow-infected, puss-filled weenie.

So the healer made it go away.

“He was afraid to come out of the locker.

He was as nervous as he could be.

He was afraid to come out of the locker.

He was afraid that somebody would see.

“Two, three, four.

Tell the people why he's sore.

“He has an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie, yellow-infected, puss-filled weenie.

That was sore for the first time today.

He has an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie, yellow-infected, puss-filled weenie.

So in the locker he wanted to stay.

“Two, three, four.

Stick around well tell you more”.

“He was afraid to come out in the open.

So a bandage around him he wore.

He was afraid to come out in the open.

So his cock burned where it was sore.

“Two, three, four.

Tell the people why he's sore.

“He has an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie, yellow-infected, puss-filled weenie.

That was sore for the first time today.

He has an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie, yellow-infected, puss-filled weenie.

So in the bandage he wanted to stay.

“Two, three, four.

Stick around well tell you more.

“Now he's afraid to get into the water,

And I wonder what he's gonna do.

Now he's afraid to get into the water,

And the poor little guys stinking too.

“Two, three, four.

Tell the people why he's sore.

“He has an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie, yellow-infected, puss-filled weenie.

That was sore for the first time today.

He has an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie, yellow-infected, puss-filled weenie.

So out of the water he wanted to stay.

“From the locker to the bandage,

From the bandage to the sore,

From the sore to the water,

There isn't a stink any more”.

“He caught it from Umbridge”! Harry slurred out a shout, and then passed out cold in his chair.

“Come on, Ron-Ron, I’ve got something to show you”! Lavender slurred, and the two staggered off and fell behind a couch, which just happened to be in front of a certain tapestry. Here, Ronald Weasley finally got his bells rung.

The party went on this way until late that evening, where Draco and Blaise found themselves staggering out of the Fat Lady’s portrait, laughing at her fatness, and singing their way back to the Slytherin common room. Yes, tomorrow was going to be one rough-arse day for all of them when their classes resumed.

Nobody found Hermione until the next morning, or that is, until after Parvati Patil remembered where they had dropped her off at. Hermione was late for her first class, and that was not on! Plus, she had a good excuse, as she had found a used rubber stuck in her hair!
- 6
- 7
- 8
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Pride of Hogwarts