Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

The Joke Book Trap	By : TalisRuadair Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 10791 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Series (1997-2007) and any characters and original locations within the books belong to JK Rowling. I am not making any money from this fiction. Pride and Prejudice belongs to Jane Austen.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Chapter Seven – New Arrivals

Hermione was happy to escape from Draco Malfoy, as soon as she realized that he was the one from her reality. All of her hopes of getting through the book because of Darcy’s redeeming qualities faded. She wanted to avoid the Draco version of Mr. Darcy for as long as possible. Sure she knew that many people had changed during the war and she did see Malfoy crying with Goyle after Crabbe died, but he couldn’t have changed that much, right? He still saw her as a filthy person because of her birth status. She sighed as she sat at the breakfast table with the rest of her Bennet family. She was zoning as Arthur advised them of a visitor and read the letter from the horrible Mr. Collins. Once she realized who was coming, her train of thought jumped tracks and ended up in a completely different direction. He mind went in overdrive. If Tonks was Charlotte and the one who was supposed to end up the wife of Mr. Collins and Tonks fell in love with and married Remus Lupin, then was Mr. Collins going to show up in the guise of Lupin? Was she going to see another dead friend? She took a breath and stopped his tears from forming. She needed to be strong. She didn’t have the opportunity to say goodbye to either one of her friends, perhaps the fantasy world she existed in would give her that missed opportunity.

She knew that Remus was nothing like Mr. Collins in character, as he was far more educated and agreeable. However, not all of the characters fit the person playing them perfectly. Ginny and Molly both supported that argument. However, Ginny fit the roll of Miss Bingley because she was the youngest sister to Bill. Molly fit in as the mothering figure because she was the wife to Arthur and she was Hermione’s segregate mother in the Wizarding world. She also didn’t have much to say about Draco’s fitting or not fitting Mr. Darcy, as she didn’t really know him that well. Could she be misunderstanding Draco as well as Eliza misunderstood Darcy?

With the arrival of their guest, Hermione’s assumption was confirmed. The salt and pepper haired former Defense against the Dark Arts teacher sat at the table with them over dinner. Her heart hurt seeing another dead friend alive before her. She couldn’t understand how seeing one’s dead loved ones helped with escaping from the reality of their deaths? They sat around the table and Arthur decided to address their guest, “Mr. Collins, in your letter you mentioned your patroness. What is she like?”**

The werewolf’s kind brown eyes twinkled, “I have never in my life witnessed such behaviour in a person of rank—such affability and condescension, as he had himself experienced from Lady Catherine. She had been graciously pleased to approve of both of the discourses which he had already had the honour of preaching before her. She had asked me twice to dine at Rosings, and had sent for me only the Saturday before, to make up her pool of quadrille in the evening. Lady Catherine is reckoned proud by many people I know, but I have never seen anything but affability in her. She always speaks to me as she would any other gentleman; she made not the smallest objection to me joining in the society of the neighbourhood nor to me leaving the parish occasionally for a week or two, to visit my relations. She even condescended to advise me to marry as soon as I can, provided I chose with discretion; and she once paid me a visit in my humble parsonage, where she had perfectly approved all the alterations I was making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest some herself—some shelves in the closet upstairs.”**

Molly smiled at him warmly, “That is all very proper and civil, I am sure and I dare say she is a very agreeable woman. It is a pity that great ladies in general are not more like her. Does she live near you, sir?”*

Hermione wanted to roll her eyes as she knew Mr. Collins was going to continue with his boisterous praise of the awful woman. It was so out of charter for her dear friend Lupin that his face smiling behind the character Mr. Collins was detrimental to his memory. “The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by a lane from Rosings Park, her ladyship’s residence.”*

Molly’s eyes twinkled, “I think you said she was a widow, sir? Has she any family?”*

“She has only one daughter, the heiress of Rosings, and of very extensive property.”*

“Ah!” Molly shook her head, “then she is better off than many girls. And what sort of young lady is she? Is she handsome?”*

Lupin nodded his head with excitement, “She is a most charming young lady indeed. Lady Catherine herself says that, in point of true beauty, Miss de Bourgh is far superior to the handsomest of her sex, because there is that in her features which marks the young lady of distinguishing birth. She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution, which has prevented her from making that progress in many accomplishments which she could not have otherwise failed of, as I am informed by the lady who superintended her education, and who still resides with them. But she is perfectly amiable, and often condescends to drive by my humble abode in her little phaeton and ponies.”*

Molly’s brow furrowed, “Has she been presented? I do not remember her name among the ladies at court.”*

“Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in town; and by that means, as I told Lady Catherine one day, has deprived the British court of its brightest ornaments. Her ladyship seemed pleased with the idea; and you may imagine that I am happy on every occasion to offer those little delicate compliments which are always acceptable to ladies. I have more than once observed to Lady Catherine, that her charming daughter seemed born to be a duchess, and that the most elevated rank, instead of giving her consequence, which be adorned by her. These are the kind of little things which please her ladyship, and it is a sort of attention which I conceive myself peculiarly bound to pay.”*

“You judge very properly, “Arthur politely bowed his head, “and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?”*

Hermione smiled at the veiled insult as it went over Mr. Collins’ head, “They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible.”* Arthur made eye contact with Hermione, which seemed to betray his humor at his cousin’s absurdity. After tea time, Arthur requested that Mr. Collins read to the girls, in which, he replied that he never read novels. After a bit, he selected Fordyce’s Sermons. Lavender gapped as he began to read with a monotonous tone and a solemn face.

Hermione couldn’t help but think of Lupin’s funeral and tears prickled in her eyes, but her attention was diverted when Lavender interrupted the reading, “Do you know, Mamma, that my uncle Phillips talks of turning away Richard; and if he does, Colonel Forster will hire him. My aunt told me so herself on Saturday. I shall walk to Meryton tomorrow to hear more about it, and to ask when Mr. Denny comes back from town.”*

“Really Lydia, that was quite impolite,”** Fleur admonished.

Hermione shook her head, “One shouldn’t interrupt when another is reading.”**

Lupin’s usually warm features shown with offense as he closed the book and set it aside, “I have often observed how little young ladies are interested by books of serious stamp, though written solely for their benefit. It amazes me, I confess; for, certainly, there can be nothing so advantageous to them as instruction. But I will no longer importune my young cousin.” *He then turned to Arthur, “Would you care to join me in a game of backgammon?”**

Arthur nodded his head, “You acted quite wisely in leaving the girls to their own trifling amusements.”**

During the morning tea before breakfast Lupin made his desires known, “My future wife may be found here at Longbourn.”***

Molly smiled but quickly dissuaded him from Jane, “As to my younger daughters, I cannot take upon me to say—I cannot positively answer—but I do not know of any prepossessions; my eldest daughter, I must mention—as I feel incumbent on her to hint, is likely to be very soon engaged.”***

After breakfast, Lavender’s desire to walk to Meryton wasn’t forgotten, and since Arthur refused to be submitted to Lupin’s follies in his own library, he suggested the man accompany them. All except for Mary had wanted to go for the walk. Upon arriving in Meryton, the younger girls stopped paying attention to Lupin and began looking around for Officers.***

Hermione knew she would soon lay eyes on her future Brother-in-Law through despicable means; however she had yet to even fathom who the man might be. She attempted to hide the gasp of surprise she let out when a ginger haired man approached the group with who must have been Officer Denny but resembled the Gryffindor Dean Thomas. The man walking next to him, was none other than the man she’d been confused about since they kissed during the Battle of Hogwarts. She couldn’t figure out why he would’ve been cast in such a horrible role when Malfoy would’ve been a better option. Sure Ron Weasley was thick, but he wasn’t nearly as greedy as Wickham.***

The group was busy conversing when Bill and Malfoy arrived. Bill was busy fawning all over Fleur and surely was the reason for the two to approach the group. Hermione knew what was to happen upon Darcy seeing Wickham and she wasn’t surprised by Ron’s reaction in the form of all the color draining from his face in fear, which was odd for Ron unless Malfoy’s appearance reminded him of a giant spider. However, the maelstrom of emotions she found within Malfoy’s gray eyes were shocking. He almost looked dejected, as if he assumed she would choose Ron over him even in the guise of Wickham. She continued to stare at him until the two disappeared on horseback. She shook her head from the silly thoughts that Malfoy could even care about her. She’d known him for seven years and he never showed any redeeming qualities. He was a bully, Death Eater, and overly despicable person. Sure he was roped into becoming a Death Eater at the threat of his and his family’s life if he failed to kill Dumbledore. Sure he was forced to do things in the war and they’d saved his life twice during the battle of Hogwarts, but he never showed any feelings past his cowardice and desire for self preservation. Denny and Wickham walked them to Mrs. Phillips door and bowed before leaving.***

The girls had returned to their aunt’s house and found that Wickham had been invited as well. Hermione tired not to roll her eyes as she had the expected conversation with him where he told his sob story with regards to Mr. Darcy. He went into how Darcy disgraced the memory of his father by refusing him the parish, as he was gifted the job since he was meant to be a church, however when he wanted the job Mr. Darcy had given it to someone else. Hermione had the whole book memorized so she knew the true manner of Wickham’s character and thus didn’t fall for the conversation like Elizabeth did in the book. She knew very well that it was Wickham who’d caused a grievance to Mr. Darcy, however Darcy being the man he was, didn’t find it advantageous to speak of such personal things with others. Especially when dealing with his sixteen year old sister Georgiana. The party began to break up, however they culminated around a card game where Mrs. Phillips, who resembled Professor McGonagall, stated she considered the money lost as a mere trifle.

Lupin couldn’t help but respond, “I know very well, madam that when persons sit down to a card-table, they must take their chances of these things, and happily I am not in such circumstances as to make five shillings any object. There are undoubtedly many who could not say the same, but thanks to Lady Catherine de Bourgh, I am removed far beyond the necessity of regarding little matters.”****

Ron’s head shot up and his blue eyes focused on Lupin before he asked Hermione if her relation was intimately acquainted with the family of de Bourgh. Hermione smiled knowing what was coming next as she gave her proper response, “Lady Catherine de Bourgh has very lately given him a living. I hardly know how Mr. Collins was first introduced to her notice, but he certainly has not known her long.”****

Ron raised an eyebrow, “You know of course that Lady Catherine de Bourgh and Lady Anne Darcy were sisters; consequently that she is aunt to the present Mr. Darcy.”****

Hermione shook her head no though she knew everything regarding the situation, however her mind couldn’t help but wonder who her mind would’ve cast in place of Lady Catherine. “No, indeed, I did not. I knew nothing at all of Lady Catherine’s connections. I never heard of her existence till the day before yesterday.”****

Ron smirked, “Her daughter, Miss de Bourgh, will have a very large fortune, and it is believed that she and her cousin will unite the two estates.”****

“Mr. Collins speaks highly of Lady Catherine and her daughter; but from some particulars that he has related of her ladyship, I suspect his gratitude misleads him, and that in spite of her being his patroness, she is an arrogant, conceited woman.”****

I believe her to be both in a great degree. I have not seen her for many years, but I very well remember that I never liked her, and that her manners were dictatorial and insolent. She has the reputation of being remarkably sensible and clever; but I rather believe she derives part of her abilities from her rank and fortune, part from her authoritative manner, and the rest from the pride of her nephew, who chooses that everyone connected with him would have an understanding of the first class.”****

Hermione listened to his description of Lady Catherine and couldn’t help but draw some parallels and try to guess whose face she might have, however she stopped her train of thought as soon as it landed on a ghastly face from her past that she wished to never see again. Clever was generally associated with Slytherin and one could think that if Draco Malfoy was Mr. Darcy then perhaps Lucius was Old Mr. Darcy and Narcissa was Lady Anne Darcy. So, if Catherine was Lady Anne’s sister, and she was arrogant and conceited as well as having an authoritative manner, she shivered and hoped her guess was incorrect. Just that one time she wished that someone else would be in that role. However, the particular woman she thought of didn’t have a child, so if she was to play her then who would be Anne? She absentmindedly rubbed the scar on her left arm as she tried to concentrate on the scene before her instead of who she might be facing soon.

The day of the Netherfield ball had arrived and unfortunately Mr. Collins had decided to accept the invitation presented by Bill and Ginny. She was quite torn every time she looked at her dead friend. She saw so much of Lupin in his expressions but then he opened his mouth and spewed the nonsense associated with the Jane Austen character. He had no substance other than praise for his patroness and a desire to have an attractive woman for a wife. Yep, she didn’t look forward to the decline of his proposal she would have to make. Hermione dressed up more than she usually would, as she knew that Ron wouldn’t be present at the ball but she thought it best to judge Malfoy’s feelings. If the cold hearted snake had any that was. Perhaps she could capture his eye. She well knew that a dance would occur between the two of them, and she wholeheartedly planned on confronting him during the dance. However, instead of discussing his misdeeds toward Ron she will be discussing Malfoy’s misdeeds during the war. She would lay into him and see if she could obtain any reaction that gave away his intentions toward her. Could she just be imagining the way he looked at her fondly much like Mr. Darcy did when looking at Elizabeth? Then again there was always the possibility that he was just playing his part exceptionally well to try and throw her off, but why would he not want her to know that he was the real Malfoy? What would motivate him to desire something like that?

After her two embarrassing dances with the Lupin and one with an unnamed officer who resembled Neville Longbottom, they discussed the overall likability of Wickham before turning to Dora’s side. She was busy conversing with her when Malfoy played his part by taking her by surprise, which she played quite well. She pretended to accept a dance with him before he left. She was busy fretting when Dora attempted to console her, “I dare say you will find him very agreeable.”*****

Hermione gasped, “Heaven forbid! That would be the greatest misfortune of all! To find a man agreeable whom one is determined to hate! Do not wish me such an evil.”***** Something in those words seriously rung true, was she so determined to continue her hatred for Malfoy that she prevented herself from seeing if he changed? Was she so caught up on the foul git f a child that she never took into consideration the man he’s become? She shook her head as she was getting sick of second guessing herself when she was around him. She barely registered Dora’s whisper of warning though she knew exactly what she said from memory when Malfoy came to claim her hand once the dancing commenced.

Instead of holding her tongue during the first two dances with him like Elizabeth, Hermione started conversing with him right away and completely off scrip. “I dare say Malfoy; you’ve done a keen job in attempting to maintain a guise that would never be fitting of your character.”

As they circled around each other, his gray eyes narrowed, “I’m not sure of what you speak.”

“Oh come on, I know that you’ve read the book from cover to cover by now. You know exactly what the character of Darcy, and I fear that you lack his redeeming qualities. Sure you’re both wealthy and proud, but you don’t have a younger sister you’re willing to protect with your life. You’d rather tell the world what a horrible person Wickham because it’d make you out to be the victim rather than remain silent to protect the image of your sister. You proudly took the Dark Mark and was excited to be given a mission by the Dark Lord. You enjoyed torturing fellow students in school and I’m sure you enjoyed torturing fellow Death Eaters at Voldemort’s command.”

His face fell and he cleared his throat, “So, this is how you see me?”

Hermione’s eyes burned with fire as she glared at him, “There was nothing you’ve done to make me think otherwise. You stood there and watched as your aunt tortured me and gave me this scar. She wrote the word you delighted in calling me since second year. You’re filled with so much fear and unwilling to stand up for any injustice as long as it saves your skin. You will never fill the shoes of Mr. Darcy and you’ll always be the sniveling coward who tried to get an innocent hippogriff executed in third year. The boy who cringed as soon as I pointed my wand at him after taunting me with insults, however I guess I got the last laugh there with my right hook.” She couldn’t help but smirk at the memory of slugging Malfoy in their third year.

His eyes dropped to the floor, “I see that you misunderstand me just as much as Eliza misunderstands Darcy for the majority of the book. As I figured, you’ll be chasing after Ron because he’s everything you’ve ever wanted and no one else can compare to this thick but golden hearted Gryffindor.”

Her mouth dropped as they each stood across from one another again, “So, you think that you can somehow compare to the goodness, courage, and loyalty that exists within both of my best friends? What have you done to show your goodness? What choices have you ever made to show courage? Have you been loyal to anyone but your parents? Did you even grieve when Crabbe died or were the tears you shed because you lost one of your body guards?”

His voice was thick with emotion that she never thought he was capable, “Don’t you dare question my loss. I’ve lost people too Granger. Sure my parents and I managed to make it through, but Crabbe was my friend. I grew up with him and Goyle. Sure they weren’t that intelligent and I took advantage of them but I cared about them. I was upset when he died and my heart aches every time I see Forester walking around with his image. Don’t even try to assume that you know what the last two years have been like for me. The things I did were because I was afraid for me and my family. My parents were the only two people I’ve ever truly loved, and I don’t know what I would do if I lost them.”

She whispered, “Sorry,” which he didn’t acknowledge and he remained quiet for the remaining of the dance. She tried to catch his eyes to see what he was hiding, but he refused to make eye contact.

However the dance soon ended and Sir William Lucas, Teddy Tonks, approached the two. He looked between them and smiled, “I have been most highly gratified indeed, my dear sir. Such very superior dancing is not often seen. It is evident that you belong to the first circles. Allow me to say, however, that your fair partner does not disgrace you, and that I must hope to have this pleasure often repeated, especially when a certain desirable event, my dear Eliza,” he glanced over at Fleur and Bill, “shall take place. What congratulations will then flow in! I appeal to Mr. Darcy:- but let me not interrupt you, sir. You will not thank me for detaining you from the bewitching converse of that young lady, whose bright eyes are also upbraiding me.”*****

Draco didn’t respond to Hermione or to William before he quickly left her side. She knew that he was breaking character once more and she couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with what she said to him. She shook her head knowing that there was no way that her words could’ve hurt him. He was far to reserved to allow his feelings to be hurt. He probably just went off somewhere to do something. Perhaps his dark mark started to burn and he needed to go grovel to his dead master. Yes she was grasping for straws but she couldn’t allow herself to believe that he ran off so she wouldn’t see him cry. She knew guilt would get the better of her if she even entertained that possibility.

A/N: Okay, so this was a bit of a twist. I guess I didn’t expect to have her be that mean to him, but they tend to have that volatile relationship and she’s not considering the possibility that he’s changed. She’s so set in her opinions of him that she cannot see the real him. Hmm, much like Eliza with Mr. Darcy. Okay, so I gave some pretty good hints as to who will be occupying the role of Lady Catherine. I think several should be able to guess that one correctly. I wonder if anyone could guess who I’ve cast for her daughter, as no clues have been given for that one.

*All dialogued marked is *quoted or **paraphrased from chapter fourteen, ***paraphrased or summarized from chapter fifteen, ****quoted from chapter sixteen, and quoted from chapter eighteen of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice(1813). The scenes are also derived from those chapters. The only things original to me are Hermione's thoughts.
- 6
- 7
- 8
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Joke Book Trap