Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

twenty-one days	By : evil-minded Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > General Views: 4537 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any character from it, Rowling does … I do not make any money out of Harry Potter either, again – Rowling does … I however do own Hereweald Hrothgar – but I don’t make money of him also … :D …

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Author's Notes:

Uhm ... ok ... I have to admit ... English is not my language by birth ... so ... please do not kill me while reading ... neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing ...

Answers to reviews you have given I'll add here following the chapter – or the chance to discuss the story you can find here: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/34177-review-replies-for-twenty-one-days/

The title of this chapter – I just couldn't resist naming it like that :D – read the chapter, and you'll know the reason ...

Warning:

Story contains references to child abuse:

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution … handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

what does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

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Previously in twenty-one days

Potter had been attacked by his own friend, by Weasley. They were down here in the dungeons, locked in the potions classroom since three days now with barely something to eat. No one knew when they would be freed nor how long they would have something to eat. At least they would have one other night they had to spend down here as it seemed.

Chapter seven

Day four – Thursday, fifth of September

He had brought Theodore's mattress into the restroom, not wanting to have Potter being alone right now and he had told Theodore at the same time that he would be able to sleep there this night without fearing that the Gryffindor's found out about the boy's nightmares as he would not be able to take the dreamless sleep potion tonight, having had it the night before.

Nevertheless he had seen the reluctance in Theodore's face at first at the prospect of sleeping in the same room as Potter, having Potter knowing about his nightmares and he actually had considered telling his snake that no worry would be needed as the lion had the same nightmares he had. But Theodore had beaten him to this.

He had gazed at him seriously, not even asking but nearly stating that Potter too had been abused and that Potter too had nightmares, probably remembering the first night they'd had been down here, both of them avoiding sleep, and his unsureness only had been showed by the small "hasn't he?" at the end of his statement. Snape simply had nodded and told him to go to sleep and it had been a remarkably peaceful night. He had woken Theodore once, and he'd only had to look after Potter two times.

And right now he was sitting in the classroom at his desk, watching the students thoughtfully from time to time, knowing that he would have to address them, that he would have to set up some rules for them and that he would have to talk to them about a few things. The events that had gone out of his hands yesterday had been proof enough that in this situation he was needed to be more than just their teacher and he could not allow such to repeat itself.

'You would not have learned about Potter being abused so brutally if things would not have gone out of hands.' The small voice in the back of his mind whispered and even if he didn't like it, he had to agree. Well, he would talk to them nevertheless about a few things, but he would wait until Potter and Theodore were both awake and present too.

Well, speaking of the devil, Theodore was entering the classroom silently, leaving the door ajar and coming over to him to stand in front of his desk. He looked up from the notes he was taking of what had been happening during the night and he placed the quill beside the parchment. He simply wanted to have written down the events that were happening during their stay here while being locked, the decisions they made, their thoughts, which potions he used and the current state the students were in. Well, he simply wanted to write down whatever he thought would be important for Albus to know, should they die before they were freed.

"Yes, Theodore?" He asked, locking his dark eyes with the boy's blue ones.

"Good morning, sir." The boy answered. "Potter is about to wake up, I guess."

"Good." Snape nodded his head. "I will have a look in a moment. Did you sleep well?"

"Actually … yes, sir." The boy answered, blushing and averting his eyes for a moment before looking back at him. "It took me a while to fall asleep, but then I guess I have been sleeping well. I just woke you once."

"That is not correct, Theodore." Snape said, not wanting the boy's thoughts going into this direction. "It rather is the other way round and I have been waking you."

Knowing what the Potions Master meant, namely to get the blame off him, Theodore, the boy nodded and actually smiled. It wasn't the first time after all that they had this particular conversation.

"Go over to the rest of you insufferable brats and wait there for me." Snape shook his head. "I will have a look at Mr. Potter and be back with him soon to have a few words with all of you."

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Harry woke slowly, immediately knowing that something wasn't as it had been yesterday. He still was tired, but he felt more rested than he had been in weeks. And he still was in some sort of pain, but it wasn't as bad as it had been the day before. And he still was hungry, but he also knew that that was something that couldn't be helped and he ignored this particular feeling. He was used to ignore his hunger and the pain it caused.

But his back didn't hurt so much anymore. And neither did his chest and his ribs. He actually was able to breath without pain. Well, that at least was an improvement and he closed his eyes, savoring the feeling for a moment.

But then the memories came back. Memories about his conversation with Snape and the man healing his injuries and he softly groaned in frustration.

Snape knew.

Snape knew about the Dursleys not giving him food, knew about the Dursleys not caring about him, about the Dursleys beating him, hating him. Snape knew, Snape knew everything! How weak he was, what a freak he was, how worthless he was.

Snape had told him that he had been proud at him. Sort of. Had given him points and had been friendly with him, had even held him. But now … Snape surely wouldn't be proud of him any longer and Snape surely would not … he surely wouldn't give him any more points and he maybe even would take away those he had given him.

He should be used to losing points, it was what Snape always did after all, but somehow the thought that Snape had given him points had made him feeling good. More good than he had been ready to admit. It had been as if Snape actually had been over his hate towards him, as if Snape actually would have cared. But that would be over now, now that Snape knew.

On the other hand – yes, he of course wished that no one knew about his uncle and about the beatings and that he hadn't gotten something to eat there, and surely he didn't want Snape and the Slytherins to know. But at the same time the thought that Snape knew brought out some strange sense of comfort, just as if he didn't have to try so hard to hide it in front if the man anymore, just as if he could be more himself around the man, as if he wouldn't have to play an act of strength in front of the man anymore.

But at the same time – the thought scared him. Snape now knew what a weak and disobedient freak he was, being punished by his uncle for his incompetence and his freakishness.

Well, yes – somewhere buried deep down in his head he knew that the treatment he received by his aunt and uncle was not what should be, was not what was right, but he was not able to really understand why no one ever had stopped it if it was not right of them to starve him and to beat him. It simply was ingrained in his head so deeply that it was a punishment, meaning that he deserved it, that he wasn't able to really believe otherwise.

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Snape entered the restroom with his usual silent steps after shoving the ajar door open and he had the opportunity to watch Potter for a moment as the boy had not noticed his presence yet.

Potter was sitting on the couch he had laid him at yesterday, cross-legged as it seemed, the blanked around his lower body and his hands playing with the hem of the comforter, deep in thoughts and he looked as if blaming himself with the worst thoughts possible for what had been displayed yesterday and during last night and he sighed. Well, it had to be expected. They all did blame them themselves after all. But he would put a stop to this right here and now.

"Good morning, Mr. Potter." He said after a moment, crossing the room and sitting into an armchair opposite the sofa the teen was sitting on, looking up at him with unsure and startled, fearful eyes.

"Good morning, sir." Potter said, more a murmur than anything else and he averted his eyes.

"Do me the favor and look at me, Mr. Potter." Snape said, his voice serious and low. "What has been done to you is not your fault and you never should blame yourself for it. I want you to never avoid my eyes again, Mr. Potter. You have survived years of violent beatings and starving at the hands of your relatives and you should be proud of this little fact – that they never managed to simply kill you. You – are not – weak! Did I make myself clear, Mr. Potter?"

"Yes, sir." The teenager quietly said. "I'm sorry, sir."

"You also will never ever again, I repeat, absolutely never – ever – again, apologize for things that are not your fault, Mr. Potter, and surely you will never ever again apologize for being mistreated by your relatives. Is that too understood, Mr. Potter?"

"Yes, sir." The boy answered in a whisper, nearly shrinking into the backrest of the sofa. "I'm …"

"Good." Snape nodded his head, ignoring the fact that the boy had barely been able to catch himself just in the last moment before apologizing once more. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, sir." Potter answered, looking aside again.

"Eyes up, Potter!" Snape commanded sharply, not caring about the fact that he was startling the boy who looked at him with large eyes for a moment before he got back control over himself. Good, if the boy was startled, then he would think about all that what had been done to him instead of hiding it underneath all the layers within his mind. He just needed to find the limits, past which he never should push the child.

"Good, that's better, Mr. Potter." Snape said. "How is your chest doing? Are you able to breathe more easily now?"

"Yes, sir." Potter answered, his voice still low, hesitant and subdued. Well, Potter was not used to these kind of conversations like his Slytherins were. Theodore had answered his questions with less trouble, but Theodore had been in this particular situation with him since three years now. He was used to these questions and he was used to answer them. He was used to him, Snape, his head of house. Not so Potter.

"Good." Snape said seriously. "See that you tell me if it changes, Mr. Potter, and no games of hide and seek, this is far too serious. You will tell me if you get worse again or you will find yourself in quite some trouble. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. And how is your back doing?"

"It's ok, sir."

"What, Mr. Potter, is your definition of – ok?" Snape asked, not because he didn't know what Potter meant, he did know, but because he wanted to know if the teen would be able to say more than – 'yes, sir' and 'ok, sir' or … 'sorry, sir'.

"Uhm … well …" Potter made and for a moment Snape wanted to snap at the boy, but then he decided against it. It wouldn't do any good to either of them if he pushed the boy too far right now.

"I do know that you are not used to such conversations, Mr. Potter, what is the reason as to why I will not press the subject right now." He said. "But remember, that I not always will give in. You will have to learn speaking about what has been done to you and you will have to learn that it is not your fault either. I do know how difficult this is for you, but as I already told you yesterday and the day before, I am rather pleased with your way of handling this situation, more so as I now know how serious your particular situation is, and thus I am sure you will be able to manage what I demand of you. Namely your trust and your willingness to go on."

The teenager did not give him an answer, but neither had he expected one and he stood.

"If you are ready, Mr. Potter, then we will go back to the classroom now as I have a few words that concerns each of you." He said, extending his hand towards the door to indicate that he expected Potter to go ahead of him.

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He was standing in front of the students, in front of all of them, leaning against the desk behind him and his arms folded in front of his chest while his dark eyes watched each of those seventeen teenagers that were sitting on the mattresses in front of the fire.

Blankets and pillows were laying in untidy heaps on the mattresses, as were books, a book-bag here and a cloak there, as well as quills or parchments and this part of the classroom looked rather like a dormitory than like a classroom at all. The only thing still not out of place was the fact that, even if huddled together closer now, the Slytherins and the Gryffindors still were separated somehow.

"It is time, I believe, that we set a few ground rules." He began, ignoring the frustrated groans coming from the students, having known they would come. "The first one is, whatever food is handed out, it will be eaten by the person it is handed to and by no one else. We are here since four days and I suggest it is time that we face the fact that we do not know how much longer we will be in this situation. So it is important that everyone of you – and if I say everyone, then I do mean everyone – will be eating what is given. No one will ask for more as everyone will get all the same and it only would be unfair to ask others to share when every one of you is hungry. The demonstration that had been displayed yesterday will not be repeated and everyone who does not go by this rule will be writing a three foot long essay as to why I set this precise rule. Is that understood by everyone?"

Seventeen heads nodded at him and he heard a few murmured "yes, sir" while he watched them intently, making sure that he had eye-contact with each and every student for at least a few seconds.

"Good." He then said. "Mr. Crabbe, write this rule down onto the blackboard, please."

He watched Vincent getting to his feet and walking over to the blackboard, taking the chalk and writing the first rule down.

"This here is no game anymore and neither is it a match or any harmless situation else." He continued then. "This here is day four in a situation that might end in death and all of you should begin to lay aside your prejudices, your pride and your rivalry and work together instead. Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy already have seen reason and have made a truce. So if they can do this, then all of you can do the same. I expect you to respect not only each other's strengths, but each other's weaknesses as well. The more you fight, the lesser will be your ability to save strength. This might sound harsh to you, but I fear we simply have to face the truth that maybe ... that maybe we will have to face death. I do not believe so, and neither do I want you believing that we might die, but we should nevertheless keep this little fact in our minds. So, rule number two is: there are no houses. Right here and now, we all are the same. Is that too understood by everyone?"

This time there was more reluctance, especially from Weasley, Thomas, Finnigan, Gregory and Vincent.

"Is – that – understood, I asked." He growled in a dangerously low voice and quickly all of them nodded.

"Good." Snape hissed, again locking his black eyes with the eyes of the children in front of him. He didn't want to do this, he didn't want to frighten them thus, and never in all his years of teaching would he have thought to find himself in such a situation. But he had to be realistic and he needed his students to be realistic too. He would be able to comfort them later, but right now he needed them to see reason."See that you won't forget it! Mr. Weasley, go and write the rule down. There are no houses!" He waited a few moments, not only to give the teens in front of him the chance to get his words sunken in, but to calm himself too.

"Well, all of you soon will get weaker due to the lack of real food." He finally continued. "I will do what lies in my power to provide you with whatever edible things are found down here, but there is not way of telling if it will be enough. If I however catch any of you hiding his or her weakness, pain, fear, misery, dizziness, tiredness and exhaustion – or whatever it is that will make you feel ill, then you will find yourself in some trouble too. You are not to hide your misery, not from each other and surely not from me so I can help if possible. This situation has noting to do with heroism but only with survival and there is no shame in asking for help or comfort. I of course will accept you trying to be strong and brave, but you on the other hand will accept that you will get weaker in the first place and that you will have to accept help if it is offered. So, your third rule is: no hiding of your weakness, exhaustion and pain and no teasing others with their weakness, exhaustion and pain either. Did I make myself clear?"

Again there were seventeen heads nodding, even if only reluctantly, and a few "yes, sir" were heard. He again waited until he'd had eye contact with every one of them to ensure a positive answer.

"Good." He then said. "Mr. Potter, you are to write this particular rule onto the blackboard."

He watched Potter getting to his feet and walking over to the blackboard, taking the chalk from Weasley who threw a dark glance at his friend and then writing the rule down. He still would have to keep an eye on Weasley.

"Every human body needs food and water. We do not have many things edible and the few we have will be used up eventually. I of course will provide you with nutrient potions as long as possible but neither will they be available forever, nor will they keep you alive forever. What we however have is water. And as I already have told you, it is important and I expect you to use this opportunity. So your fourth rule is: every one of you will drink as much as possible. Miss Davis, please go and write this rule down."

He paused and watched Tracy taking the chalk from Potter who went back to his mattress while the girl wrote down the rule on the blackboard. Tracy had not been drinking as much as he had told them to do two days ago and he hoped that, with writing down this rule, she would remember. In fact, he had chosen the students to write down those particular rules he thought they had problems following, hoping that thus they would keep them in mind.

"And last but not least, sleep, diversions and some kind of normality will help to keep all of you as calm as possible, as relaxed as possible and thus as strong as possible. I expect you to sleep as much as you can, to rest at least if you cannot sleep, to read, to write, to converse, to play games, or to do whatever you can think of as long as it is no strenuous activity and I expect all of you to find a routine you are comfortable with. Right now we have two students down here who suffer from serious nightmares." He did not look at Theodore and Potter, not ready yet to give them away, knowing that both of them right now felt betrayed by him, but he would give them the chance to understand before he would give their names away.

"I can understand that both students are not ready to give away this little information, but I will not allow them to give up their much needed sleep just because they fear their fellow students might judge them as sleep deprivation only will eat up their strengths. Both students would be in different houses if we still had them installed, one in Gryffindor and one in Slytherin, so it will be no unfair situation. Both students have their reasons for those nightmares and thus there is no reason for the rest of you to judge them or to make fun of them. I will provide both with dreamless sleep potion every other night, but this potion cannot be given each night. So both students will suffer from those nightmares every other night and I expect all of you to act mature enough to not only accept this little fact, but to be of help in form of waking them if necessary. Suffering from a nightmare is terrible enough in the first place and there always is a reason for a nightmare. Not to mention the fact that soon more of you will have such nightmares from time to time. So there is no need to be ashamed of those, nor to judge them. Is that absolutely understood?"

He watched the students giving their nods, some with curious faces looking around them, some with thoughtful gazes and some – two to be precise – with drawn and miserable faces, only nodding reluctantly.

"Good. See that you do remember that. Mr. Potter and Mr. Nott are the two students I mentioned and I now give both their names away not to mistreat their trust, but so both are in the same place and will be able to lay down for sleep without having to try and avoid sleep in order to hide their nightmares – and so neither of you have a reason to tease any of them. As Mr. Potter already had his rule to write down I chose Mr. Nott to write this particular rule onto the blackboard to be remembered. Rule number five is to sleep as much as possible, to divert each other and to set into a routine with as much normality and comfort as possible."

He watched Theodore reluctantly getting up and walking towards the blackboard, throwing a nearly angry gaze at him – while Potter looked quite miserable – and he could understand the two boys. Right now – even if they only might understand his reasons – they just felt betrayed. But they would understand with time. And he would ensure that everyone who judged them would be writing for the rest of his or her stay down here.

"Do you have any questions?" He then asked.

Of course it was Miss Granger whose hand shot up and he couldn't help lifting his eyebrow at her. He should have known. He normally would have ignored her, simply to teach her that not only she was to give answers but that he expected other students to use their brains and to think about his questions too, and to answer them, but he knew also that he should ignore no one in the situation they right now were in. So he gazed at her.

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

"You said that we might die down here. Do you really believe that? Or do we have a chance? Will we really die?" The girl asked and he had to pinch the bridge of his nose. Well, it had been clear that this questions might come up and the fearful faces of the other students that were looking at him expectantly were proof enough to him that every one of them had the same questions on their minds. They were no children after all, they were young witches and wizards, teenagers, and intelligent enough to think about this possibility and to understand what it meant. But they were no adults either. In some ways they still were children, with fears and with insecurities.

"I cannot promise you what will be happening as the future is unwritten yet and no one can know what will be." He answered after a moment of considering his next words. "But I can promise you that I will do everything that lies in my power that all of you will survive this and I can assure you that I do believe that this will not end in the death of either of you. I do believe it, and I want you to believe in this either. None of you will die down here and all of you will leave this place on your own feet! It is important that you believe in this. None of us can know it, but it is important that we do believe in it. Is that understood?"

The faces of the seventeen teenagers that nodded at him again were drawn, tired, full of doubt and scared, but he could see hope in their eyes as well and that was enough for him right now.

"Good." He said. "Then you might write this down on the board, Miss Granger. We will survive this."

Draco was the next one who lifted his hand and he nodded at the boy.

"Those points …" Draco said. "What will happen with them the moment we get out? Will they – I mean …"

"All of you might collect points and the moment this all will be over you will be able to change those points into whatever it is you wish." He said. "I will give out those points to you if you deserve them, but I won't take any points away for punishment. Those you have will be yours until the end. Whatever end it is we might face. Added to this, I name Mr. Potter and Mr. Nott as - let me call it - group prefects. Both of them too will be able to give out points. You will listen to their advises and you will listen to their orders, but they won't be able to punish you for anything. Your responsibility, Mr. Potter and Mr. Nott, will be to listen to your classmates, to come to me with problems and to find ideas, solutions and ways to keep your minds busy and from worrying too much. On the other hand, Mr. Potter and Mr. Nott are not to be bothered with trivialities. Please, Mr. Malfoy, write down what I just announced."

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Snape had thought about those rules during the past few hours, during yesterday and during last night, knowing that it was important that he gave them something, that he gave them more than just some edible things that might keep their bodies alive for some time, knowing that it was important that he gave them a reason to fight. And not to fight each other, but to fight together and for themselves, and for each other.

He looked over to Theodore who had been standing near the office door, who had been leaning against the wall and who – right now – was sliding down the wall, slowly, and landing on his bottom, his knees pulled up while he hugged them at the same time as he placed his head on top of them and started to cry, most probably too upset to keep himself together any longer. There was not only the stress the past three and a half days had been pressing them. But there were the abuse Theodore had been through at the hands of his father, the nightmares, the fear and the pain, the distrust and the lack of understanding as to why he had made him as a prefect too. And all in all together, it simply was too much for the child to handle.

As it was for Potter who was in the same position as was Theodore, he thought, looking around in search for the smaller boy, not finding him.

He watched the scene unfold in front of him for a moment and then he did the only thing he knew was necessary right now. He went over to where Theodore was sitting, sat next to the boy and placed his arm around his shoulders. He could feel Theodore flinch for a moment and he could feel his muscles tightening, but he soon relaxed and before he knew what was happening, the boy buried his face into his robes, his arms wrapped around his stomach, and continued to cry.

"Hush, Theodore." He whispered, tightening the grip he had around the boy's shoulders. "What got you so upset?"

He nearly laughed at his own stupid question, having answered it by himself a moment ago. But he also knew that Theodore had to accept it by himself too. They all had to accept. All of them had to accept different things, but they all had to accept in the first place.

"Why did you tell them?" The boy finally asked. "That wasn't fair! I trusted you!"

"I do know this, Theodore." He seriously said. "I do know that it wasn't fair and I do know that you did trust me. And you will trust me again the moment you understand. I however do know that right now you only feel hurt and I will accept this. But I did this for a reason, Theodore. The moment they know, you do not have to hide your nightmares any longer by avoiding sleep, what only would be fatal in the long run. This way, you can go to sleep because they already do know. They won't however judge you, I am sure. And you are not the only one either, but you have known this already. Do you see my point?"

"Yes, sir." Theodore answered, still sobbing. "But it wasn't fair anyway."

"I know." Snape said, running his hand through the boy's hair. "But it was necessary. There is no hiding such things, Theodore. We all should know how each of us is doing, were our strengths lay and where our weaknesses lay so we can consider the situation we are in correctly and so we can depend on each other, so we can help each other. We are in this together and we need each other if we were to survive this. Do you understand how important that is?"

There was a nod, a reluctant one, and there was no verbal answer, but it was enough for Snape at the moment. He knew that Theodore would understand and that he would accept it within the next day or two, and he knew that Theodore still trusted him, even if he now felt betrayed, he still trusted him, even if he felt he didn't. He only was hurt right now.

Potter was another thing. The boy had disappeared during the past few minutes, probably into the office, and he was sure that Harry right now was feeling the same way as Theodore felt. With the difference that Theodore knew him since three years now, that Theodore knew that he always had a reason for his actions and that Theodore knew that in the end it would work out, that in the end, he was right. Potter too knew him since three years, yes, but not this way. Potter knew only the sarcastic bastard that had made his life at Hogwarts a living hell and that never had given him a reason to trust him in the first place. Potter's trust in him was only a few days old now, fragile and easily broken. He would have a much harder time to convince Potter that he'd had his reasons to tell them, he knew.

Sighing he closed his eyes for a moment and leaned his head against the wall behind him, his fingers playing with Theodore's hair and he could feel the boy relaxing against him further.

"Well, Mr. Nott, as much as it pleases me to simply sit here and do nothing, there is another student that right now feels betrayed by me and needs to be comforted." He said after a few more minutes. "Are you amenable with me leaving in search for Mr. Potter?"

Upon the sleepily nod from Theodore he got up. "Try to sleep for an hour or two, Theodore, it will make you feel better afterwards." He said, leaving after watching his student laying down on his mattress.

He went into his office, and – just as he had thought – found Potter there, sitting in a corner on the floor. He was however not crying as he had thought he would and slowly he walked over and turned the chair behind his desk so he would face the boy and sat down. Potter didn't look up at him, just had his knees drawn to his chest, as had Theodore done earlier, and stared ahead of him, his face pale and thin, drawn and tired. So Snape didn't say anything either, just sat there, watching the teen. He knew that Potter had noticed his presence, knew he was there. And he knew that Potter – sooner or later – would address him, would blame him.

Well, he only had to wait a few minutes.

"I hate you!" Potter finally said, his voice low, barely above a whisper, but his words stinging nevertheless. A few days ago he would not have cared, but now? Now he had seen a different side of Potter, one he actually could understand. And now Potter had proven to be a teenager he could depend on, that acted reasonably in a dire situation, a teenager that actually had become to be – some kind of ... important to him, whatever reason for this had happened.

So yes – right now Potter's words stung, if he liked it to admit or not.

"I know." He simply answered.

"I trusted you!" Potter said, the same words Theodore had used earlier, still not looking at him, but staring angrily ahead of him, his words an accusation in themselves.

"I know." Snape again simply answered.

"You … you … you have … you have hurt me …" Potter continued to blame him, his voice however not that angry anymore but rather helpless, afraid, lost and unsure. Hurt. Not yet really ready to admit that he, Snape, had been able to actually hurt him, to hurt his feelings, maybe because he then would have had to admit towards himself that the Potions Master had become – some kind of – important to him, too.

"I know." Snape again said, with a sad sigh this time, but there was nothing else he could say, because the boy simply was right.

"You betrayed me!"

"Yes, I have." He answered, not denying the teenager's accusation.

"Why?" The boy finally asked, finally gave him the chance to explain and he got up and approached the fourteen year old, knelt down in front of him and extended his hand, placed his fingers underneath Potter's chin and gently lifted his head so the boy had to look at him. He gazed into those green eyes that showed the hurt the boy felt.

"Because they have to know so you can go to sleep without fear, so you do not have to avoid sleep in order to hide your nightmares and because it will help them to understand." He said. "I do know that you feel betrayed by me. And I do know that you feel hurt by me and I will accept this. But believe me, I did not do this however to hurt you, I did not do this without a reason, because only if they do understand we all can work together. And I am sure if you think about it with a clear mind, then you too will understand. You are far too intelligent to not understand it with some time given."

Potter's eyes shot up to gaze at Snape's own dark orbs and he could see that the child was, without a doubt, more than shocked by the praise. The pure bliss that flashed through those emerald orbs nearly made him hitch a breath, nearly made his chest clench painfully for a moment, but he kept his gaze at the boy's steadily. This joy in the teen's eyes however lasted for only a second or two before the usual misery took over again and surprisingly, Snape wished it had stayed there longer. He actually noticed that he gained more pleasure from this look of happiness than from the hurt looks one of his cutting remarks would cause and he sighed.

"Come here, you foolish child!" He growled, sitting beside the boy and simply pulling the smaller body into his arms, ignoring the startled flinch the teenager gave away and keeping a strong grip at the thin shoulders until the tense body relaxed slightly when he ran his hand up and down the boy's back.

"I am sure you will understand, Harry." He said. "I promised you to take care of you and I will do so. But I need your trust for this, child."

A small sob finally escaped the teen's throat and he could feel the boy's fingers gripping the hem of his shirt in a desperate manner to grip anything to keep himself from drowning.

"But I don't understand." Potter finally sobbed. "You hate me. I just don't understand."

"I do not hate you, Harry." Snape sighed, leaning his head against the wall behind him. "I never really hated you. I disliked the fact that you were the golden boy that got away with everything, a spoilt brat that had wrapped everyone around his fingers and I only wanted to show you that it wouldn't work with me. But I never actually hated you. And now knowing that ..." He trailed of, sighing.

"But I still don't understand." Potter allowed himself to hide his face into the fabric of his shirt and Snape allowed Potter doing so. "You are supposed to hate me! You are supposed to hurt me! And you are supposed to not care!"

"That might have been the picture I have displayed towards you in the past, towards everyone in the past." He said, knowing how right the boy was. Potter really had no reason to actually trust him the way he already did, as tentative and as fragile as this trust might be. "And aside from you and your fellow students out there no one will ever know that I indeed care about my students. But I do care. I ever have and I ever will. You on the other hand too have shown me a complete different side of yourself, Harry, what gave me reason to show this care a bit more than I did up to now."

"But you're not supposed to." The boy sobbed and Snape knew that the teenager simply wasn't able to adjust to the sudden change in the situation. Potter would need time to get used to this sudden trust he felt and the care he suddenly received. "I don't understand. You're not supposed to care. So why?"

"Maybe because I do not care what I am supposed to do or not to do, Harry." Snape finally said, running one hand through the unruly mop of black hair. "I know that you don't understand yet, that you will need time. But I promised you that I would take care of you, that you won't go back to your relatives, and I never broke a promise. You simply will have to accept that little fact. And now try to sleep a bit, you insufferable brat. You will feel better afterwards."

He got to his feet and pulled the teenager with him before he led him back towards the classroom, towards the mattress that was the boy's, and where he pushed him down until the teenager lay flat. He threw the blanket over the small form, casting a quick glance towards Theodore, Draco, and then over the other students that watched him, again wondering how long the boy would make it. He watched him for a few minutes more until sleep had claimed the teen and then he left the mattress and went back to his desk. Theodore and Harry both were sleeping, resting from their emotional stress. They would be fine in the end, he promised.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

To be continued

Next time in Twenty-one days

Kitchen duty and some news.

Added author's note

thank you for reading - and yes, I would appreciate it if you took the time to review this chapter … thank you …
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twenty-one days