Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Loved	By : Dazzlious Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 5761 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from J K Rowling's fantastic books or films, I'm just borrowing and playing with them for a little while and get no monetary reward for doing so.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
A/N: Firstly, I want to thank all of you who are reading the story for sticking with it. I really appreciate that you are taking the time to do so. Secondly, I want to make an apology for taking so long to post the latest chapter, as I understand how frustrating that is when you want to know what’s going to happen next. Unfortunately, I was extremely busy in the week leading up to my holiday and had no time to post. I was then ensconced in the wilds of Spain (well, okay near sunny Alicante) for almost two weeks, so was mainly incommunicado on the internet front. But I’m back: rested, relaxed and raring to go and so hopefully, barring any unforeseen circumstances, there should be no delay to future chapters being posted. I’d also like to say another quick thank you to my wonderful beta, Mamacita for the support she gives me. Dx

Julia thought about what Ginny had said to her during their lunch. Not so much about Lucius and his return to the hedonistic lifestyle that he had eventually, as far as she was aware, ceased to have while he was with her, nor was she seriously considering having sex with anyone, but Ginny was right that Julia hadn’t been as proactive in spending her leisure time with other people as she could have been, often preferring to stay at home alone with a good book. If nothing else she really should make the effort to get out and socialise a bit.
She didn’t need a boyfriend, regardless of what Ginny and Draco thought, but she couldn’t spend the rest of her life avoiding social situations in case she ran into Lucius. She had accepted that there was nothing left between them, so there shouldn't be any cause for concern. She wouldn’t go out of her way to attend functions she knew he would be at but neither would she be so reluctant about going out when the opportunity arose.
And so she tried to be more sociable. She started by joining hospital colleagues for a drink after work, something she had never really done before, even when she was with Nigel, and she discovered she enjoyed the mindless chatter that such trips involved. The talk was mainly about work, but when it did move outside of the conventional tropes it was rarely uncomfortable or challenging and Julia found herself enjoying spending time with other people. From there she began to accept invitations to dinner parties and other such gatherings, although these were occasionally a little tricky without a significant other to partner her, but on most occasions she managed to get through it.
She even went to a party held by Draco and Ginny, after making sure that Lucius and Crystal wouldn’t be there, and she enjoyed it although she was a little wary of Greg Goyle after what Ginny had told her about him. He actually asked her out on a date but didn’t seem that disheartened when she turned him down, and she was surprised to find afterwards that the encounter left her feeling quite upbeat, something she definitely wasn’t used to after the months of depression.
But most importantly, the reintroduction of her social life brought her into contact with someone she had never expected to see again — her ex-boyfriend, Nigel. Julia had thought about Nigel a few times since her marriage to Lucius had ended but never with any real expectation of ever seeing him again. It was true that when she left him she had only been expecting her marriage to last for two years and had, at that time, harboured hopes that she would afterwards be reunited with her lover, but so much had changed since then that when she actually found herself single again she didn’t even consider trying to contact Nigel.
At first, it was because of what she had lost, which hurt so much that she couldn’t focus on anything but the pain. And once she finally began to get over the heartache of the split and accept that what she and Lucius had shared was gone forever, it suddenly seemed ridiculous to imagine that Nigel would have waited so long for her, and she didn’t want to make his life difficult by suddenly reappearing.
Plus, of course, there was the little matter of her still being in love with Lucius . . . however much she tried to pretend it was no longer true. But an evening out with some work colleagues had turned into a major pub crawl and it was there, in a pub she didn’t usually frequent, that she bumped into Nigel — almost literally.
He was pleased to see her, almost overjoyed in fact, and after a few drinks and a hasty catch-up on what had been happening since the last time she had seen him he invited her out on a date. Julia was surprised at the invitation and even more surprised that she accepted and found herself to be quite excited at the prospect.
The initial date went well, and although three years had passed since the two of them had last been together it seemed as if they had never been apart. Another date followed, as did several more and soon Julia found herself spending almost as much time with Nigel as she had before their separation, although they still hadn’t slept together as she wasn’t quite ready to commit herself to taking that great a step in the relationship.

‘You’re looking a bit smug,’ Ginny told Julia when they met up for lunch. ‘What’s the matter?’
Julia shrugged lightly. ‘Nothing’s the matter — everything’s great, actually.’
Ginny looked suspiciously at her friend. ‘You’re definitely not your usual morose self, so come on, spill the beans. What’s going on?’
Julia smiled. ‘Well, you know you told me I should get myself a boyfriend . . . I have.’
Ginny looked surprised. ‘A boyfriend? I thought you weren’t interested in being in another relationship.’
‘I wasn’t. But I realised you were right about me moping around at home all the time and so I started going out and having fun for once.’ Julia took a sip of her tea, the smile still on her face.
‘Well, I know you came to our party, but to be honest, I thought that was a one-off,’ Ginny admitted. She looked wonderingly at Julia. ‘You’re not going out with Greg, are you? I saw he was all over you at the party.’
Julia laughed and shook her head. ‘No, it’s not Greg. He’s a nice enough boy, but he is a boy and not at all what I wanted.’
‘So who is it, then?’ Ginny asked interestedly. ‘I hope he’s tall, blond and handsome with a lot of money and the good sense to spend it on you.’
Julia shook her head again, her smile growing wider. ‘Not exactly. He’s average height, sandy-haired, and not bad-looking. No money, though . . . which actually isn’t a problem — money isn’t everything, you know.’
‘It’s not Lucius, then,’ Ginny said quietly.
‘Lucius? Why would you think I was seeing Lucius?’ Julia asked, looking confused.
Ginny shrugged. ‘I wondered whether you’d changed your mind and decided to see him. And I know you can’t resist him.’ She sounded a little disappointed.
‘Well, it’s definitely not him,’ Julia said stoutly. ‘How many times do I have to say that I’m not going there again?’ She looked at Ginny, noting her friend’s downcast expression. ‘Are you really disappointed that it’s not him?’
Ginny shrugged again. ‘You two make such a great couple, Julia, and you love each other so much. I just never thought you’d get together with someone else.’
Julia looked at Ginny incredulously. ‘You’re the one who’s been telling me for months that I ought to go out and get laid. You tried to set me up with Greg, remember?’
‘I was talking about you getting laid by Lucius, as I’m sure you are well aware,’ Ginny admitted. ‘I knew you wouldn’t go for Greg, but I was hoping if you went on a date with him he would make you realise what you were missing out on with Lucius by being stubborn.’
‘Stubborn! You think I’m being stubborn?’ Julia was shocked by what Ginny was telling her.
‘Of course you are. You and Lucius are so in love and he didn’t want to let you go . . . but you were the one who insisted the two of you had to part. It didn’t need to be that way.’
‘Have you forgotten the little matter of him getting remarried?’ Julia asked, getting annoyed now. ‘I think that was good enough grounds for ending the relationship, wasn’t it? Anyway, I thought you were in agreement with me about what I’d done. I thought you understood.’
Ginny sighed and stirred her tea absent-mindedly. ‘I do understand why you did it, but it just seems so stupid, when the two of you are so obviously in love with each other and he has no interest in Chandelier, that you shouldn’t continue your relationship. You don’t have to move back into Malfoy Manor. You could stay living where you are if it makes you feel more comfortable. But I really think you and Lucius should be together.’
‘Well, that’s not going to happen,’ Julia said adamantly. She took a sip of her own tea, then added quietly, ‘I don’t want to be one of Lucius’ mistresses.’
‘He wouldn’t have any others if you were a couple again,’ Ginny said honestly. ‘He’s only doing it out of frustration at not being able to see you.’
‘It doesn’t matter whether he would or not,’ Julia admitted quietly. ‘There’s no point in getting involved with Lucius again when he’ll just end up being married to someone else once his marriage to Crystal is over. Anyway, I don’t want to be a mistress.’
‘So who’s this new fella, then?’ Ginny asked feeling the need to move the subject off Lucius before Julia got really upset and because she was dying to know who could possibly begin to take his place in her friend’s affections.
‘Well . . . he’s not really all that new,’ Julia said. ‘It’s Nigel, my ex.’
‘What, the bloke you were with before Lucius?’ Ginny asked in surprise.
Julia nodded. ‘I didn’t contact him when things ended with Lucius because I thought he’d have long since forgotten about me. But having taken your advice and got a social life, I bumped into him in the pub a while back while I was out with colleagues from work and we got chatting. He asked me to go out for a drink with him without everyone else, so I said yes. We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks now and it’s going really well.’
‘He didn’t get married or paired or anything after you left him for Lucius, then?’ Ginny asked. She was frowning. ‘That’s a bit weird, isn’t it?’
Julia shrugged. ‘I don’t think it is. I told him all about the terms of the marriage on the day I left, so he knew that after two years it would be annulled, and at the time I definitely intended to go back to him as soon as it was. And he hasn’t had a letter from the Ministry so he hasn’t been married off. Apparently, he was waiting for me to contact him . . . he was waiting for me, Ginny.’
‘Did you tell him the only reason you’re not still with Lucius is because the Ministry separated you?’ Ginny asked a touch nastily.
Julia frowned. ‘No, of course I didn’t. I did tell him that Lucius and I got on okay, though, that the two years wasn’t a complete nightmare.’
‘That was big of you, but not exactly the truth, is it? So he doesn’t know that you’re still completely in love with Lucius, then?’ Ginny pushed.
Julia glared at her friend. ‘I’m not completely in love with him, Ginny . . . not anymore. What’s the point of making my life miserable by wasting time pining for something I can’t have? I admit I was in love with Lucius when we parted, but the situation isn’t going to change and I have to think of my future. Nigel could be that future. When I’m with him it’s almost as if we’ve never been apart.’
‘Is he as good in bed as Lucius?’ Ginny asked slyly. ‘Does he have Lucius’ . . . stamina?’
Julia felt herself blushing as she admitted, ‘We haven’t resumed being that intimate yet. We’re taking it slowly.’
‘You mean you don’t want to do it with him because you still want Lucius,’ Ginny said shrewdly.
‘No . . . I mean that we’re taking it slowly. I don’t want to rush into anything with anyone. Just because I lived with Nigel before doesn’t mean I should just jump straight back into bed with him.’
‘I agree,’ Ginny told her. ‘But I don’t think you should be jumping into bed with him at all. And I think you should tell him the truth about your relationship with Lucius, too. See if he’s still so interested in rekindling things when he knows you didn’t leave your marriage for him but because you had no choice.’
‘I don’t think he needs to know,’ Julia said. She was aware she sounded overly defensive, but she was annoyed at Ginny trying to ruin her good feeling about her relationship with Nigel. She sighed. ‘Look, Ginny, what Lucius and I had is gone now and I like being with Nigel. There’s no reason to stir things up.’
‘Except that you’re not being truthful with him, are you?’ Ginny pointed out. ‘So, what, he thinks you split with Lucius after the two years was up as had been the plan all along; that there was nothing between the two of you and yet you didn’t go back to Nigel because . . . because . . . what? Surely he expected you to go back to him straight after the two years was up if he was that confident of getting you back. So why didn’t he track you down and ask why you didn’t come back?’
Julia sighed. ‘I told him I hadn’t been sure he would want to see me, that I didn’t know how things stood as it had been such an abrupt parting and I assumed he would have found someone else, so I didn’t want to rock the boat.’
‘And he was happy with that explanation, was he?’ Ginny demanded.
Julia nodded her head. ‘He told me I was an idiot for thinking he would go off with someone else, that he loves me and can’t wait for us to live together again.’
Ginny looked at Julia in horror. ‘You’re not moving back in with him, Julia. Please tell me you’re not that stupid.’
‘Why would it be stupid?’ Julia asked her cheeks red and her eyes flashing with anger. ‘Nigel loves me and wants me to be with him, so why should I stay on my own? You were the one pushing for me to be in a relationship so I don’t understand why you’ve got a problem with it.’
‘Because you’re not in love with Nigel, you’re in love with Lucius,’ Ginny said. ‘You can pretend as much as you like, Julia, but I know the truth even if you don’t want to admit it.’ Julia started to shake her head but Ginny continued, ‘So if this relationship with Nigel is so fantastic, why haven’t you shagged him yet? Surely if the two of you have such a special relationship you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off each other — just like you and Lucius couldn’t. Admit it, Julia, the reason you haven’t shagged him is because you still want Lucius and you know Nigel’s not going to be a patch on him.’
Julia didn’t speak for a moment, apparently considering what to say, then answered quietly, ‘It’s going to happen over Christmas. Nigel’s invited me to stay with him over the holidays and so it’ll be like a Christmas present . . . sort of romantic.’
Ginny looked at her for a long time without saying anything, then, ‘Nothing I can say is going to change your mind, is it?’ she asked.
Julia shook her head.
‘I really don’t think you and Nigel getting back together is a good idea,’ Ginny said candidly. ‘You’re meant to be with Lucius, not him. But I’m not going to be able to change your mind, so all I’ll say is be careful and you know where I am if you need me.’
‘It’s going to be fine,’ Julia assured her. ‘There’s still that spark and I know Nigel will make me happy.’
The look on Ginny’s face said that she didn’t believe Julia, but she didn’t dare say anything further for fear of really upsetting her friend. She just wondered how Lucius would react to the news when he found out.

Julia lay on her bed, hugging her pillow, the tears streaming down her face. It had been so long since she had cried this hard and she didn’t like feeling this way. She wasn’t sure which was worse, the anger or the sorrow, both of which were threatening to overwhelm her. She knew Ginny would be annoyed if she discovered Julia hadn’t contacted her to tell her about what had happened . . . hadn’t tried to offset the misery she was going through, but Julia couldn’t face seeing her . . . couldn’t face seeing anyone, really. She couldn’t cope with the recriminations and the “I told you so’s” that she knew would come from a conversation with her red-haired friend, and worse still, the knowledge that Ginny had been right.
She didn’t need Ginny to remind her that she wasn’t being entirely truthful with Nigel about the extent of her relationship with Lucius. She was well aware that while he wanted reassurance that she had been well treated in the two years she had been with her ex-husband, he probably didn’t want to know, given Lucius’ reputation and Nigel’s hope that she would return to him, that they had actually fallen in love. As by that time she was firmly in the denial stage, it was easy to downplay the relationship, especially when she discovered that Nigel really had thought she had ended the marriage to be with him again.
Julia didn’t want to disappoint him by telling him the truth and so determined was she that she would make a new life with her old boyfriend once more that she had concocted some stupid reason for not contacting him immediately on her release from the marriage. Nigel had been supportive and understanding, although surprised that she would have thought him capable of abandoning her when he knew she was going to return to him.
This faith in her made it even harder for Julia to admit that things weren’t quite as she had initially indicated. It was easier to keep quiet and pretend she had never had any love for Lucius than to admit to the truth. In turn, this denial fed into her continuing assertions to Ginny that she wasn’t in love with Lucius any longer, something she had spent so many long hours over the months they had been apart trying to convince herself of, although admittedly without much success.
When Christmas arrived, Julia went to stay with Nigel in the home they had shared for fifteen years, slotting easily enough back into the life that had gone before. It was almost as if she had never been married to Lucius, and at first everything was perfect. The holiday period itself was a romantic time and they eventually made love, but as Julia soon remembered, Nigel wasn’t the most adventurous lover in the world and it unwittingly brought Lucius and his far more spirited and passionate lovemaking to mind.
She had tried to ignore it and go with the flow but the fact was that Nigel wasn’t stimulating her in the way she had got used to and thoroughly enjoyed, and she found that intimacy with him was just plain dull. More confident now than she had been during their previous relationship, Julia attempted to introduce a little more excitement to their bedroom games but it didn’t turn out very well.
Nigel steadfastly refused all the subtle hints she gave, especially where going down on her was concerned, and when she decided to take matters into her own hands and attempt to lead him into being a little more open-minded they ended up having a huge fight.
During the argument, Nigel complained that being with Lucius had changed Julia, and not for the better. Angrily, Julia asked him what was wrong with her and he was quick to give an extensive list of things he felt were a problem but as far as she could see weren’t flaws at all but were positive changes to her personality that Lucius had helped to bring out in her.
It seemed to boil down to the fact that Nigel was particularly unhappy that she was no longer content to play the doormat, automatically doing whatever he required of her without complaint or query and especially without asking for anything in return; her new-found confidence seemed to insult him. When Julia pointed this out he became irate and defensive, ending their lovemaking session and stalking away before there could be a satisfying resolution to the argument. He was not willing to discuss it further as Julia obviously wasn’t going to back down as he wanted.
It was at this point that Julia understood that she would not be moving in permanently with her boyfriend as he had asked her to do on Christmas Day. In a vain effort to keep the peace she spent a few days attempting to quell her desires and trying to be the girlfriend Nigel wanted her to be, but this brought all his other faults to light and these, coupled with his desire to be with her every waking moment of the day when they weren’t at work, left Julia feeling claustrophobic, weary, and down-right depressed.
Again and again, remembrance of the surprisingly non-possessive and loving relationship she’d had with Lucius came unbidden to her mind, and each time it showed her just how much was lacking from her relationship with Nigel until eventually, she could stand it no longer.
The day had started pretty much as expected, with lovemaking that was anything but satisfying — for her, at least — and a quiet breakfast during which Nigel caught up with the latest Quidditch news. He was making noises about Julia moving her stuff from her flat to the house, pointing out that it was ridiculous for her to keep paying rent on such a crappy old place when she could quite happily move back home.
Already dissatisfied with him because of the poor lovemaking, Julia bristled at the suggestion, both because she no longer wanted to live with Nigel and because she was upset at his description of her flat. While it was true the apartment wasn’t a palace, it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as Nigel painted it and she felt quite proprietorial about the only place she now considered home.
Trying to change the subject, as Julia did the washing-up she attempted, as she had a few times since they had got back together, to engage Nigel in conversation about what he had been up to during the three years they were apart. Although he told her quite categorically that he had been waiting for her and she was sure from the way he acted towards her that this was true, he also always managed to side-step the question of what their time apart had held for him, being deliberately evasive with her and it made Julia wonder just what he had been getting up to. As Ginny had told her, it was a little weird if he had just sat around waiting for her to come back, especially without any guarantees that she would.
Julia couldn’t help wondering if there had been another woman, although if that were the case she couldn’t understand why Nigel wouldn’t talk to her about it, considering she too had been with someone else . . . unless, like her, he had his own secrets to keep. But already unhappy about Julia’s continuing stubbornness on not moving back home — yet another bad trait Lucius had allowed her to develop, according to Nigel — he refused to talk, and Julia found herself losing her temper with him as happened so easily these days.
Yet another screaming argument ensued during which she asked him outright, and he admitted that he had been seeing someone else, and further, which came as a complete shock to Julia, that it was someone he worked with, a woman called Stella who Julia had always detested and whilst she had still been living with Nigel had always suspected of fancying her boyfriend.
Apparently, no longer bothered about keeping things friendly between them, Nigel then went on to drop a bombshell when he revealed that the relationship had actually started before Julia’s marriage to Lucius, when she had received the pairing letter, as he had guessed she wouldn’t be able to stop the marriage from occurring. Feeling sorry for himself, he had turned to Stella for comfort and they had ended up in bed. This came as something of a shock to Julia, especially considering the woman he had done it with.
Nigel at least admitted that he had felt guilty at the time about what he had done, but as Julia left only a couple of weeks later he didn’t tear himself apart over his infidelity. He attempted to gloss over the episode by being quick to point out that while Nigel and Stella had remained a couple for almost two years, he had no interest in settling down permanently with his mistress and had been expecting Julia to come back to him and things to resume as they had before. But he hadn’t anticipated her being so changed and was finding it hard to take.
When he had once again begun to criticise Lucius for what he had done to “ruin” Julia she could take it no more. Wanting to hurt Nigel as he had hurt her, she admitted to him that she was in love with Lucius and the only reason she had left him was because the Ministry of Magic had annulled the marriage.
With the relationship between Julia and Nigel effectively over for good, there was nothing for her to do but to pack up the few belongings she had taken to Nigel’s and head back to her lonely flat. There was a sick feeling in her stomach when she realised that not only that she had just lost any chance of a normal and happy life away from Malfoy Manor but that she was still irrevocably in love with Lucius, and it was unlikely that anything or anyone would ever change that.

The break-up with Nigel coupled with the stark realisation that her desire for Lucius was as strong as it had always been left Julia reeling. She chose to deal with it in the only way she knew how, by burying herself in her work and cutting herself off from everyone. She didn’t want to see Ginny, knowing the woman would be able to tell instantly that something was wrong. She didn’t think she could stand the sympathy nor was she ready to hear more on why she should be rekindling a relationship with Lucius, who now more than ever she needed to keep away from.
So far she had been fairly successful in her hiding, but she knew it couldn’t last. And that was mainly because of the wedding. She had been aware of and somewhat involved in Draco and Ginny’s wedding plans ever since she had become friends with Ginny and she knew the couple expected her to attend. She had been hoping that by the time the wedding took place she would be in a position to be able to face Lucius and Crystal without her heart being ripped to shreds, but with the demise of her relationship with Nigel and the resurgence of her desire for Lucius that was never going to happen. So she had decided she couldn’t possibly attend, even though she knew this would seriously disappoint the younger couple.
Julia felt bad about her cowardice at dealing with Ginny but felt her mental sanity, already in a fragile enough state after her split with Nigel, was in jeopardy if she had to spend any time in Lucius’ company or even hear from others about how much in love with her he still was. She had therefore, feeling hugely guilty, ignored every communication Ginny sent her and made sure she wasn’t available should her friend decide to visit the hospital, which she had on two occasions. But as the day of the wedding drew ever closer, Julia’s nerves increased until she was jumping at shadows and feeling more miserable and guilty than ever.
‘You’ve got a visitor, Ju,’ Bertha, the department secretary, told Julia as she entered the staff room. Julia had just emerged from a very long and boring planning meeting with the section heads and was desperately in need of a cup of tea. ‘Out in the main corridor.’
‘A visitor?’ Julia looked surprised. ‘Who is it — Ginny?’
Bertha shook her head. ‘It’s a man. He asked for you specifically. I did try to tell him you were in a meeting and wouldn’t be back for ages but he refused to leave a message, said he would wait for you as he needed to speak to you in person.’
Julia’s heart sank. ‘Did he say who he was?’
Bertha shook her head again. ‘No, but he’s young.’
‘Blond?’ Julia asked, pushing the dual thoughts of Lucius and Nigel out of her head although she had no idea why either of them would come to see her. Draco was the obvious suspect; she was sure it was him who was waiting outside for her.
Bertha wrinkled her face as she tried to recall the man’s features. ‘Yeah, I think he was blond. To be honest, I didn’t really take much notice. Nice voice, though.’
‘I don’t suppose there’s any chance you can get him to go away, is there?’ Julia asked hopefully. ‘If it’s who I think it is I don’t really want to speak to him at the moment.’
‘I told you, he won’t leave. And he knows it’s almost lunchtime. He said he would speak to you then if you didn’t have time for him before that.’ Bertha sounded apologetic.
Julia sighed loudly. ‘I suppose I’d better go and see him, then,’ she said resignedly. ‘I suspect he’ll just sit there all day otherwise.’
‘There’s not a problem, is there?’ Bertha asked worriedly. ‘Do we need to call security?’
Julia gave a weak smile and an equally weak laugh. ‘No, there’s nothing wrong, just me being a coward. I was trying to put something off but I think it’s caught up with me.’
‘Well, if you need me to do anything, just shout,’ Bertha said.
‘It’ll be fine,’ Julia told her. ‘Look, I might as well take my lunch break now. I’ll see you in an hour or so.’
She headed back to her office, wishing she could hide away in there until Draco left, but she was fairly certain he wouldn’t leave and she couldn’t stay in her office forever. He was as tenacious as his father and would wait doggedly for her, especially if it was about what she assumed it was about. Sighing again, she dropped her notebook and quill onto her desk and picked up her handbag, then pulled her coat from the coat rack, putting it on as she left the office.
Julia used her wand to lock the door, then headed down the corridor towards the area in which Draco was waiting. He was sitting, stiff-backed, looking completely incongruous in the sterile corridor. He stood up as he saw her approach and waited for her, his face deliberately neutral although his ice-grey eyes, identical to his father’s, were cold and unfriendly.
‘Draco.’ Julia acknowledged him politely with a nod as he fell into step beside her. ‘I need to get some lunch. Let’s walk.’
‘Julia,’ Draco replied equally politely.
They walked in silence towards the hospital exit, Julia’s stomach churning at the upcoming confrontation. She knew she must have upset Ginny with her behaviour. After all, the woman had been nothing but a good friend to her and yet as soon as the going got rough Julia had dropped her. She had been selfish and thoughtless and now she felt guiltier than ever.
They exited the hospital, Julia leading Draco towards a Muggle sandwich shop she occasionally used. Getting a table for the two of them, she sat down and picked up the menu and studied it intently for a moment, not because she was deciding — she already knew what she was going to have — but because she wanted another few minutes before Draco berated her for her appalling treatment of Ginny. Eventually, knowing she could put it off no longer, she put the menu back on the table and looked at Draco.
‘How are you, Draco?’ she asked quietly. She could feel the butterflies swooping around in her stomach and was surprised that she didn’t sound as nervous as she felt.
‘I’ve been better,’ Draco replied candidly, his voice a little clipped. Julia felt herself wince internally at the unspoken rebuke. ‘Things are rather stressful at the moment.’ He didn’t elucidate further. ‘How are you?’
He studied her intently, his eyes boring into hers until she had to look away with embarrassment.
‘I’m okay, I’ve just been very busy,’ she mumbled quietly.
She was relieved when the waitress appeared to take their order, allowing her the opportunity not to have to respond further. She ordered a chicken and mayonnaise salad sandwich and a pot of tea. Draco placed his own order for a cheese and tomato roll and a glass of orange juice. He waited until the waitress put away her notepad and walked over to the counter to place the order before he spoke again.
‘What do you think you’re playing at, Julia?’ he asked, his voice sounding a little angrier than before. Julia stared at him for a moment. ‘I mean, what did Ginny do that you would drop her as a friend . . . especially now, when she’s getting so stressed out about the wedding?’
Julia picked up her napkin and began to play with it nervously as she looked at Draco’s cold eyes. It was amazing how much he looked like Lucius when he was angry. There was something about the set of the mouth and the general attitude . . . and those eyes.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said honestly. ‘I know I’ve been selfish, but I’ve been going through . . . stuff . . . and I needed to do it alone.’
‘Then you should have told Ginny that,’ Draco snapped. ‘She’s been going frantic worrying about you, especially since you went off with that old boyfriend of yours. We haven’t heard from you for weeks, no idea whether her messages were getting through or whether he’d done something to you. It was the last thing she needed when she’s trying to get everything organised for the wedding.’
‘I said I’m sorry,’ Julia replied quietly. ‘I don’t know what else I can say.’
‘So is it that boyfriend of yours that’s causing you to act this way?’ Draco asked, sounding a little more concerned now. ‘Is he stopping you from keeping in contact with us?’
Julia shook her head and sighed. ‘No, it wasn’t Nigel. It was just me being stupid and not thinking properly. I really am sorry, Draco.’
The waitress delivered their food and Draco took a large mouthful of the orange juice as he looked at Julia as if debating what to say.
‘My father threw a fit when he found out you’d gone back to your ex. I had to stop him coming to find you. I’ve never seen him so angry.’ He took a bite of his roll, then asked, ‘Why did you go back to him? You’re in love with my father, so why waste your time with someone else?’
Julia looked unhappily at Draco. ‘This sort of interrogation was exactly the reason I didn’t want to chat. I’ve told both you and Ginny before why there was no chance of getting back with your father . . . but she wouldn’t drop it. Nigel gave me the chance for a normal life, Draco, a chance to be loved without all the pain that goes with loving your father.’
‘Father won’t let you stay with him,’ Draco warned. ‘I managed to stop him once, but eventually, he’ll lose it completely and I don’t rate your boyfriend’s chances if that happens.’
Julia laughed bitterly. ‘Well, you don’t need to worry about that. Nigel and I split up. It seems we’re no longer compatible, as your father “ruined me”. To be honest, I didn’t need a lecture from you or Ginny about how stupid I’ve been. I’m already well aware of that and at the moment I can’t even bear to hear about your father without wanting to curl up in a ball and die, so the last thing I needed was another attempt to get me to see him. It just seemed easiest all round if I hid away from everyone until I managed to get myself back on an even keel again. I just didn’t think about what it would do to Ginny.’
Draco finished the last of his roll, then wiped his mouth with his napkin. Forthrightly he admitted, ‘To be honest, Julia, I’m glad to hear this thing with your ex didn’t last. It makes things much easier for all of us. I really don’t know why you and my father don’t just fuck each other’s brains out like you both want to do and have done with it. I’m fed up with the pair of you acting like moody teenagers who’ve been grounded.’ Julia looked indignant but before she could say anything Draco continued, ‘You’re sulking in your bedroom, refusing to talk to anyone because your heart’s broken for no good reason . . . .’ Julia opened her mouth to react to that, but Draco shook his head and continued, ‘No . . . there really is no good reason, Julia, because he wants to be with you as much as you want him. And he’s out acting like the town stud to try and prove he doesn’t give a toss about what you’re up to, when all he really wants is to be with you.’
‘But he’s married to Crystal,’ Julia said unhappily.
‘Only in name; he can’t stand the bitch. You’re his wife . . . the one he wants to be with. So I don’t understand why you don’t just sort it out,’ Draco said with frustration.
‘I told you why before. I didn’t want to do anything to make Crystal’s marriage more difficult than it was already going to be,’ Julia said miserably.
‘That was an okay excuse . . . for the first month or so. But nothing you do or don’t do is going to change my father’s relationship with Crystal. Don’t you understand that? So what is the point of continuing with this separation that makes you both so unhappy? It’s been almost eighteen months now.’
‘I told Ginny, I don’t want to be your father’s mistress. It’s all very well you telling me that he thinks of me as his wife, but I’m not and I won’t ever be again. The Ministry aren’t going to let us remarry if he separates from Crystal. They’ll just find another match for him until he finally impregnates one of them. It hurts enough to be in love with him without having to go through that every two years. I’m sorry, Draco, but I just can’t do it and it’s not fair of everyone to expect me to just because Lucius isn’t happy about the situation.’
‘But it’s not just my father who isn’t happy, though, is it?’ Draco pointed out more gently. He looked at Julia, knowing that what he was saying wasn’t having any useful effect.
‘I’m not seeing him . . . and I don’t want to discuss it any further,’ Julia said unhappily.
‘All right, I won’t say anything more about that, but you are going to come to the wedding, aren’t you?’ Draco’s voice had become harder again.
Julia shook her head. ‘I can’t, Draco. I’m sorry, but if I come along I’ll just ruin everyone’s day by being a moping Minnie.’
Draco’s eyes narrowed angrily. ‘You’ll ruin Ginny’s day if you don’t come.’
‘No, I won’t. She’ll be so wrapped up in everything that’s happening she won’t have time to worry about whether I’m there or not.’
‘Of course she will. You’re family, Julia. When will you get that through your thick skull? We all care about you . . . and Ginny . . . look, we both want you to be there. Please, don’t be selfish over this,’ Draco said with a touch of pleading in his voice.
‘There will be plenty of family there,’ Julia said. She could feel the pain in her heart as she spoke the words, but as she thought of seeing Lucius with Crystal she knew she wouldn’t be able to cope and would probably end up making a complete fool of herself.
‘But not enough without you,’ Draco said sincerely.
Julia sighed and shook her head. ‘I just don’t think I can—’
‘Fine, it’s up to you . . . don’t come, then,’ Draco cut in, his mouth set in a thin, tight line of displeasure. ‘But don’t expect any support or sympathy from us in the future, Julia. If you want to be selfish, you go right ahead and be selfish . . . but you’re on your own from now on.’ He stood up and dropped his napkin on the empty plate. ‘Ginny really likes you,’ he added quietly. ‘She misses you so much.’
Julia could feel the tears forming in her eyes at Draco’s words. She really missed Ginny, too, and that separation was hurting almost as much as the one from Lucius.
‘I miss her, too,’ she admitted her voice thick with emotion.
‘Then come to the wedding,’ Draco said once more. ‘Please come . . . for Ginny’s sake if for no other reason.’
Julia blinked, the tears now on her lashes. ‘All right,’ she whispered resignedly as she nodded her head. ‘I’ll come.’
Draco took her hand and squeezed it. ‘Thank you,’ he said sincerely.
- 6
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- 8
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