Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Coming of Age (Female Potter)	By : stargazer67 Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 11694 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
After that first few days, Remus and Tonks offer to take the children for awhile – telling Evie that she needs to be free to process her grief without having to worry about them. Seeing Kreacher lurking nearby, Evie has an idea; and goes to get the sapphire necklace that Sirius gave her on her birthday. She kneels, and asks him to protect the children of House Black; and gives him the necklace that belonged to his former beloved mistress, Sirius’s mother. Kreacher is overcome by the gift and promises that he will protect the children with his life if need be. She’s reassured and it makes her feel more comfortable about them going.
A couple of weeks later, Evie is surprised by a knock on the door, and when she goes to answer it, is even more surprised by the visitor – it is Snape. But the biggest shock of all is the haunted, lost look that is on his face as he looks at her. Her shock at the expression on his face is the only thing that keeps her from slamming the door on him; because otherwise he’d be just about the last person she wanted to see right now.
He says nothing and she cannot seem to find anything to say herself, either. He closes his eyes for a long moment, and then asks if he can come in when he reopens them. Not knowing what else to do, she invites him in and they stand in awkward silence again, for a few moments.
He looks several times like he’s about to say something, but never does. Still at a loss, she offers to make them some tea. He accepts and they go to the kitchen – and when she turns to set the tea in front of him, she could almost swear that his eyes are moist, but he bows his head over his tea and she can’t be sure. She can’t imagine what he’d be tearing up over anyway, since there was definitely never any love lost between him and Sirius.
She tries to make small talk to fill the silence, but he barely responds and won’t look at her. Finally he drains his cup and gets up as if to go; and she’s actually quite relieved that he’s going. She has no idea how to handle his silent, haunted presence; nor can she figure out why he even came in the first place, it’s a complete mystery to her.
At the door, he stops and turns; and, putting a hand on her shoulder, he takes a deep breath to steady himself. Looking her in the eyes, he says, “You know that Sirius and I were not friends, and I would assume you know basically why as well. So I won’t insult your intelligence, or your memories, by mouthing empty phrases that we both know I don’t mean. What I came here to say to you is…that…I do know, very well, what it is like…to lose someone who you loved…more than life itself.”
He has to stop for a moment and his eyes close, but he finally he opens them again and goes on when his voice is at least somewhat under control again. “Up to today, Professor Dumbledore was the only other living soul who knew that, and…I am trusting that you also will keep it to yourself. What I wanted to tell you was just that I…I am sorry that you have also had to…experience such a devastating loss.”
Evie is completely and utterly stunned by this. She has never even remotely considered Snape capable of loving anyone; but the haunted look on his face, the pain in his eyes, and the longer than usual spacing between his words leave her in no doubt that he’s telling the truth. She starts to cry, and he looks somewhat stricken again, clearly unsure what to do and probably afraid he’s just made things worse. His fingers tighten on her shoulder just for a moment, and then he turns and quickly departs.
After he’s gone, she just stands there for a while, still crying but oddly feeling at least a little comfort from his words, knowing what they had to have cost him both in terms of revisiting his own painful memory and also in trusting her with it, especially after the disastrous Occlumency lesson.
She considers asking Phineas if this was what he was talking about, but then realizes that if it wasn’t, then she’ll have revealed it to him inadvertently. She decides that however much she’s hated Professor Snape up to this point, however snide and mean he’s been to her in the past (or is in the future either), she won’t tell anyone about it. She knows how much it hurts, and feels somewhat less alone now even if she doesn’t feel any better about it than she did before.

The pain from her grief continues to be unrelenting, and she visits the children frequently at Remus and Tonks’ place; but while she feels all the emptier for them not being with her, she also still knows that she can’t give them the kind of loving and stable atmosphere that they need, at least not until she can get herself together a bit better.
One day, as she’s in the study looking at the photo of Sirius, Remus and her father, she feels first a tingling in nearly every nerve ending from her scalp to her toes, which quickly turns to agonizing pain. She writhes on the floor, crying out in pain, not knowing what’s happening to her and wondering if somehow Voldemort is doing it. It passes, but she has another later.
Concerned, Phineas tells Dumbledore; and he comes to see her. He says that he is sure it’s just a delayed reaction to her grief, that it’s not coming from outside her. He says that he feels that Snape can help her, can possibly concoct a potion to stop the attacks. Dumbledore departs saying that she should expect Snape soon.
Snape arrives later in the afternoon – this time without the haunted look, but also without any hint of his former condescension; basically neutral towards her. She takes her own cue from that, feeling that it would be very uncomfortable for both of them to make any reference to his last visit. He is professional and efficient when talking to her about the attacks, and finally determines that while he can create a potion that will help her sleep, anything he could give her for the nerve attacks would have too many other adverse effects and in the end be worse than the problem itself is.
Her face falls, and he’s quiet for a moment, considering. He says, “There may be something else that would help. I studied abroad for a few years after leaving Hogwarts, and while my area of study was obscure potions, I was also given instruction in some alternative forms of healing; the wizard I was apprenticed to insisted that I learn both from him. One of the things I learned was sort of a combination between Muggle chiropractic discipline and healing magic; it is a form of massage that focuses on the spine, but calms the nerves rather than only the muscles. I think I can recall it well enough if you want to try it.”
She’s not exactly sure about this, but the attacks are terrible. She figures that having Snape touching her is still better than the attacks would be, especially if it works; so she nods. He suggests that the bed would actually serve her better than the couch, so they go upstairs. He stops at the door to her room, telling her to remove her shirt and get onto the bed face-down. He’ll wait in the hall until she’s had time to do that.
For his part he’s also not sure about this, but he takes off his frock coat and rolls up his shirtsleeves to get them out of the way, and then enters the room. As he approaches the bed, he is glad that she cannot see the momentary hunger on his face as he looks down at her, naked from the waist up; at her smooth back, and the curve of one breast just visible, pressed as it is against the bed. He cannot help but think of Lily, and as he puts his hands on her back, moving from her spine outwards, he unconsciously puts all the love he felt for Lily into his touch and for awhile even forgets that it is Evie he’s touching.
For Evie, she doesn’t know why his touch feels so good to her, only that it does. His hands are strong, but gentle; and soft, no calluses. And, what he’s doing also seems to be working extremely well, she very quickly feels more relaxed than she has at any point since Sirius’s death.
He finally asks, “How are you feeling, now?”
“Actually, very good – that worked well. Thank you, Professor Snape.”
He is kind of surprised at the momentary warmth her thanks gives him. He can’t remember the last time anyone other than Dumbledore thanked him for anything (of course it doesn’t actually occur to him that he almost never does anything for anyone that they would be thanking him for; and the few things he has done for other people, he’s typically made sure as few as possible ever knew about).
He’s also quite pleased with himself for still recalling this well enough to be effective at it after all this time – he really hadn’t given it his full attention when learning it, feeling it was a complete waste of his time because he was certain he wasn’t ever going to make use of it. He’d only learned it to pacify the old wizard, so he’d get on with teaching him the potions that he did want to learn.
He says, “Just stay there and relax, I’ll see myself out. I’ll come back in a few days to repeat the treatment; if you’re having attacks more frequently between now and then we can adjust as needed.”
She sighs after he’s left, in contentment from the relief of the anxiety that precedes the attacks, and the pain that results from them. And she considers how strange his past two visits have been; first as a man in pain and showing her at least a small degree of sympathy, and today just as a normal human being. No snide comments, no sneering – and, he actually helped her.
At his next visit, she tells him she’s only had one attack between. And this time, she actually falls asleep while he’s silently working on her.
He only realizes that she’s asleep after he’s done and getting ready to leave; and he just stands and looks at her face for a long moment while he can do so unobserved. She looks so like her mother that it pains him; but, as he studies her face more he can see differences, too. He gets a blanket off a chair nearby and covers her gently with it in case she should get a chill, and then leaves.
When Evie wakes, she’s touched by finding the blanket over her; it’s a small thing, but all the same a considerate act. She actually smiles to herself a bit at the thought of telling Ron or Hermione that he did something like that, she’s sure they wouldn’t believe it. She’s not sure she does, herself.
- 6
- 7
- 8
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Coming of Age (Female Potter)