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Love me or Hate me	By : Drarry-Lisa Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 1979 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters/things/places created by J.K. Rowling. I make no money from my fan-fiction.

Chapter List
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Chapter-7
Harry's Journal

1st October, 2003
Albus turned one today. He is really such an adorable little baby. I was doubtful that he is a Veela and so I got his blood tested by the healers at St. Mungos. To my utter shock and dismay, I found out that he is indeed a Veela. I was shocked because I had never known that there had been a Veela in my or Ginny's bloodline, dismayed because Karma is really a bitch. I never wanted Albus to pay for my sins.
I really hate writing but Professor Snape insisted that I must write so I am writing this journal. I am writing everything that happened. Where should I start from? Perhaps beginning will be the best. I will start from the day I had started getting letters from Malfoy requesting me to meet him. I would like to blame others for everything but I know it was my fault and only mine. So, I will write everything objectively. Perhaps my kids will read this in the future or perhaps Malfoy's kids. I just wish whosoever it is forgives me, for I am genuinely and sincerely sorry for everything I did. Let me begin from the day I got the first letter.
It was the June of 1999 and I was sitting in my office which I had been assigned after I was appointed as the Head auror. I had never wanted to become an auror and now that I think of it I don't know why I ever accepted the bloody post. So I was sitting and studying a case file when an eagle came flying in my room. I recognised it at once. It was Malfoy's and now that I think back, I realize that I had felt a rush of excitement when his owl had come to deliver a letter to me. It was a change in my monotonous, boring life.
I had ignored that excitement and replaced it with an imagined disgust which I had never felt towards the blonde. Malfoy had written that he wanted to meet me and that it was very urgent and important that we meet, even if for half an hour only. I ignored all his letters for eight months. Yes it was my fault but it was someone else's fault too, someone who I had trusted with my life.
The day when I had got the first letter, I had told Ron and Hermione about it. Ron had been appointed as an auror and Hermione was training as a healer in St. Mungos. I will never forget the conversation I had with them. It was evening and we were at my place. Ginny was completing her last few months at Hogwarts and after that we were going to get married like we had always been expected to.
I told them "I got this letter from Malfoy today saying that he wants to meet me. He says that it is urgent and important."
"Look Harry, Malfoy is a git and you can't meet him. Ginny would never allow it and neither would we."
Hermione had remained silent and her silence meant acceptance of Ron's words.
"But it sounded urgent, Ron. He is practically begging."
"No, mum and dad hate Malfoys and they won't want you to meet the likes of them. Think about Ginny, mate. How disgusted she would be with you."
"What do you say, Hermione?"
Hermione looked at me and then at Ron and whispered "I think he is right."
Now that I think back to that day, Hermione had not even thought about what I was asking. She had just accepted Ron's words.
"You can't talk to him, Harry. You just can't, if you want to be included in our family." Ron was practically forcing him but Harry did not want to lose the only people who he had considered family so he had agreed. He had been naïve and immature and stupid enough to be blackmailed into doing what he didn't want to.
"Okay. Okay. Just calm down. I won't talk to him. He is git. Why would I want to lose my family over Malfoy?"
All this while, Hermione had stayed quiet, staring at the ceiling and I had been surprised.
"That's the spirit, Harry." Ron beamed at him and I smiled.
I had grinned and slapped Ron's back in a friendly manner and they had left.
I had refused and ignored and done everything to make Malfoy back off but he had not backed off. He had persistently written to me, begging me to meet him, only once, only for ten minutes only for five minutes. I had not even bothered to think that perhaps it was really important. I had been a selfish idiot.
I had never talked to Ginny about it. I had never given Ginny enough credit and today I am suffering because of underestimating her.
Eight months later, I had agreed and had written my acceptance in front of Ron. Let me tell you about that day, the horrible day I had met Malfoy at the three broomsticks, the day I had behaved like an animal, like a monster and committed a crime and people had bloody enjoyed it.
January 26th, 2000
It was morning when I had written my acceptance to Malfoy and I had done so after Ron's repeated warnings, which made the redhead very angry. He rowed with me and shouted at me that I was the worst friend or brother anyone could ever have. I was angry when I had left to meet Malfoy. I remember the anger that was burning inside me. How dare Malfoy interfere in my like this? How dare he turn my life upside down? How dare he want to meet after he had teased and insulted the Weasleys for 6 years?
I had been angry and anger had forced me to do things that I would never have imagined or wanted to do to anyone. I had assaulted him and insulted him. I had made him remove his trousers and pants and had spanked him in front of everyone. I had even let Seamus touch his arse. Merlin, I -I-I can't believe that-
Albus started when all of a sudden, Rose called "Malfoy is waiting outside the portrait, waiting for you." His eyes drifted from the journal to the door and back and decide to meet Scorpius first and read the journal later.
Albus cast Tempus and realized that it was 6 PM. Scorpius usually went for a walk in the grounds at this time of the day. Albus was both happy and nervous that Scorpius had sought him out. Full of anticipation, he replied "Coming in a jiffy, Rose."
He rushed to his dorms and hid the journal and after trying unsuccessfully to tame his messy hair, he practically ran to meet Scorpius.
He opened the door and stood in front of the blonde who raised his eyebrows in amusement "Why were you running?"
Albus's cheeks coloured and he shrugged, looking at his feet "You called me. Did you need something?"
Scorpius replied softly "I wondered whether you would like to accompany me. I am just going for my walk."
Albus stared at the blonde "Do you mean it?"
Scorpius nodded and turned to go and Albus followed him hurriedly. They walked silently for some time. The cold weather reminded Albus that he had forgotten to wear his gloves and his rubbed his hands together to keep them heated.
Scorpius would have noticed his shivering because he spoke "Potter, do you ever think before you act. It is so cold and you forgot your gloves."
Albus stared straight ahead, rubbing his palms together and just kept on walking. He did not want Scorpius to scold him. So what if he forgot his gloves. He did not reply in any manner and just kept on walking.
"I am talking to you, Potter." Scorpius asked again, his voice annoyed and Albus stayed stubbornly silent.
Scorpius stopped abruptly, which brought Albus to a halt as well.
"Why are you not replying?"
"So what if I forgot? I am not a child and I am not bothering you in any way. I am just rubbing my hands to keep them warm. If I bother you so much, just reject me and I would be out of your hair." He replied sharply.
Suddenly he felt a hand on his forearm and he felt his face being turned towards Scorpius. That was when he realized that his eyes were shining with unshed tears and his throat was clamped. Albus had never had such a strong reaction just because someone had scolded him.
Scorpius stared at him for a couple of minutes in shock and Albus stared right back and the tears did not fall. He would not cry because he was not a baby even if it hurt like hell to hear Scorpius scold him like this.
"Why are you crying Potter?" Albus remained silent and turned away, trying to pull his hand but Scorpius did not let go.
"If you don't tell me, I will never know what's bothering you? I have never been in a relationship. Just tell me?"
Albus did not give up and snapped at Scorpius "Just let me go." He meant to snap but his voice trembled when he spoke and he blamed Scorpius for it.
Scorpius removed his hand from Albus's arm but his voice seemed so alarmed when he spoke next that Albus was forced to answer the git "What's the matter? Tell me."
"You scolded me." Albus replied in a shrill voice, snapping his hand away from Scorpius's hold "You scolded me and I hate it when you scold me. So what if I forgot to wear gloves, so what if don't think before I act. I don't like it when you shout at me-"
"I didn't shout at you" Scorpius interrupted him.
"-or scold me." Scorpius stared at him with crossed arms this time and he stared right back, rubbing his palms together.
After a couple of minutes, Scorpius sighed heavily and Albus was utterly surprise to see him taking off his gloves and proceeding to cover Albus's hands with them.
"What-" Albus stammered "Wh-what are you doing?"
"Isn't it obvious? I am trying to keep your hands warm." Scorpius replied softly and continued when Albus just stared at him "Look, Potter, I don't do relationships. It happens often that I snap at people without realizing it. But I will try to change myself."
Albus replied, his voice surprised "Okay."
"I would really appreciate if you don't ask me to reject you again. I. will. never. Do. That. Okay?" This time his voice was stern.
Albus managed to nod even though he was too surprised to do anything "But, isn't it a pain. I don't want to be a burden on you. I don't want to turn your life upside down."
Scorpius looked irritated and Albus was utterly confused "Veela bond is a gift, not an imposition. Where do you learn such absurd things from? Honestly, Potter?"
Scorpius started walking again and Albus hurried to follow him.
"You are so complicated, Scorpius." Albus was happy and it would have been obvious from his voice because Scorpius whose hands were now in his pocket muttered "I know. Take it or leave it."
"Well, of course, I will take it."
After a silence of a couple of minutes, Scorpius replied, "Of course, you will be the only one to ever put up with me. Who would ever bear grumpy, angry, annoying me, except my Veela?"
Albus positively glowed when Scorpius uttered the words 'my veela'.
"When are you going to confront your father?" Scorpius asked after a few moments and the glow was replaced by rage.
"I am on his journal entry now. I am surprised that my godfather-"
"YOUR godfather?"
"Yes, Ronald Weasley is my godfather. So, I am shocked that Ron was involved in all this too. I wonder if this is somehow the cause of Ron's and Hermione's separation and abandonment of Hermione's healing career. They never divorced and they never date others. Hugo lives in France and studied in Beauxbattens and Rose studied at Hogwarts due to her own choice. We were rarely allowed to visit them and I always wondered why. Dad and mum only allowed them to visit us once a week until we were twelve and could make our own choices and decisions. That was how they had put it, you know and I have a hunch as to why."
"Must have been overwhelming...." Scorpius asked, softly. They were sitting on a bench now.
Albus shrugged "Yes, it was. Uncle Ron has never criticized your family and I wonder what happened to change his opinion because from what I have read, he hated the Malfoys and specifically your father."
"It gets worse. You don't have to read if you don't want to." Scorpius was worried and his concern warmed Albus. Albus smiled, his face ahead.
"Your smile is beautiful." Scorpius blurted and his cheeks turned completely red with embarrassment.
Potter replied, a smile on his lips and his eyes warm "I do?"
Scorpius wanted to remain silent but he replied, his cheeks still red "Yes and it will disappear when you read your father's entry. You don't have to read it. I am not rejecting you so you can just leave it."
"I want to know what happened to your father and I want to punish Dad for what he did to your father. It was barbaric."
"It would hurt you, because though it was not completely his fault, the majority was and h- well he hurt father badly."
"I still want to read."
They looked at each other and Albus wanted to lean and kiss Scorpius's lips and he barely restrained himself. Scorpius was the one who broke the awkward silence, his cheeks, a little colored "It's almost curfew. Come on, let's leave."
Scorpius looked at him when he didn't get up "Come on, let's leave. It's late." and started leaving.
As usual, Potter hurried after him.
Scorpius dropped Potter at the Gryffindor portrait and Potter whispered softly "Goodnight."
"Goodnight" Scorpius whispered back, standing in front of him.
"Your gloves-" Albus asked when Scorpius turned away and heard a soft whisper "Keep them with you. Wear it tomorrow evening, Potter. Sleep tight."
"You too." Albus called and stood there until the retreating figure of Scorpius completely vanished.
XXXX
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