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To Be Alive	By : Snapeoutofit Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 10439 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: All characters and settings are the creation of JK Rowling. I own nothing of Harry Potter and make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-One
- 2-Two
- 3-Three
- 4-Four
- 5-Five
- 6-Six
- 7-Seven
- 8-Eight
- 9-Nine
- 10-Ten
- 11-Eleven
- 12-Twelve
- 13-Thirteen
- 14-Fourteen
- 15-Fifteen
- 16-Sixteen
- 17-Seventeen
- 18-Eighteen
- 6
- 7
- 8
She didn’t know how to respond to his admission. She stammered in response, but her words were nonsense.
“Hermione, shh. You asked what I was thinking. I thought I should be honest.” He smoothed her hair with his hand once again.
She relished in his gentle caress, his words and touch effectively calming her. She had shut her eyes again.
“Severus?” Gods how did she make that name sound so wonderful? He couldn’t help but cave to the sound of his name coming from her. He had never heard anyone speak his name like that.
“Hermione?” He replied.
“I’d like you to please kiss me already.” Her voice was barely audible. Her eyes opened as she finished her admittance. Her gaze locked on his just in time to see a smile pull at the corners of his mouth. He snaked the hand that was patting her tresses around her waist and pulled her flush against him. Hermione welcomed the contact. She enjoyed the warmth of his body against her. Severus brought his face closer and leaned his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes and allowed his nose to brush against hers. A sweet, quiet sound escaped Hermione’s lips at the contact. He was so ready to kiss her, so ready to take her up into his arms and feel the curves of her body more intimately against him. But still, he pulled away. Their bodies were still flush against one another, but he had pulled his head slightly away from hers. His arm was still wrapped around her and held her tightly to him.
“Not yet.” His whisper was quiet and a little sad. Hermione looked up at him indignantly, with confusion and frustration evident on her face. She tried to recover quickly as to not appear disappointed, but the reality of her feelings were plain.
He took a step back and let his hand fall from her back. He took her small hand in his and laced the long fingers on his strong hands with her delicate ones. Hermione went along, unsure what he was playing at but curious to find out.
“Apparate with me.”
Without hesitation Hermione took his arm and they disappeared with a pop.
SSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHG
They began walking down a dark ally. Hermione heard noises and sirens in the distance. The air smelt of soot and smoke. She nervously laced her fingers with his and held the top of his arm with the other, leaning close to him.
“Is it safe to be out here? At night?” She asked with concern.
“By yourself? No. Don’t ever come here or somewhere like this alone. But it’s alright, I’m here and we aren’t going far.”
Severus stopped in front of a boarded up ramshackle house. It looked completely dilapidated. The house looked utterly trashed. He sighed. Hermione just looked up at him.
Finally, he spoke. “This is where I grew up.”
Hermione nodded, unsure of his purpose. She obviously couldn’t say that it was lovely, so she chose not to say anything.
Severus squeezed her hand. “I’m a damaged man, Hermione. My life hasn’t been an easy one. I know yours hasn’t been easy either. I have to tell you this before I can kiss you, because once I do kiss you I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.” He ran his hand through her hair and she leaned into his touch.
“I have never been truly happy. Now that I am free from all of my...obligations... happiness is all I want. I never thought learning to be happy would be so much work. I remind myself to smile at people. I try to make people feel good instead of miserable. I try to let the light in always, but nightmares plague me nightly. Nightmares of this place, of Voldemort, of something happening to you three when you were under my care. When you told me about your potion I was struck dumb by your brilliance. And I want to be a part of the first trials, Hermione.”
She stared at him in shock. After several moments, she spoke.
“Oh Severus,” she cooed, while stepping closer to press her body against his. “Happiness doesn’t come to us; we need to make it ourselves. The friends that I’ve built relationships and memories with are my only family now. You are a different man than the one that I knew before, that’s plain for anyone to see. You are a wonderful person and being with you has made me happy.”
He gave her a small smile. She added, “now please take me home and kiss me properly.”
Without warning, he enveloped her in his arms. Her face was pressed to his chest and she inhaled the scent of him. She could pick up traces of the sandalwood and sage soap she had used in the bathroom. As he hugged her close, he let his hands slide down to the small of her back. Her arms moved to wrap around his body. Finally, she added, “and maybe we can create some happiness together.”
SSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHG
They reappeared in Severus’ back garden. The garden was full of wonderfully scented herbs and plants. Small lights were charmed here and there to illuminate the lush space. She saw a quaint furniture set on a flagstone patio and imagined sharing an afternoon reading there in the sunlight with Severus. As she looked around, she realized that the Professor Snape she once knew and the man before her were vastly different people. Of course he just wanted to be happy, why wouldn’t anyone want just that?
Suddenly there became no doubt in her mind that she wanted him. All of him. Could his admission about his nightmares and struggles to find purchase in this world make her somehow like him more? She drank in the sight of him in the garden. He was tall and broader than she remembered from her school days. His hair framed his face and she rather liked when he mussed it up with his hand.
Without warning, she moved closer to him. He reached out to stroke her cheek and she shut her eyes at the gentle touch. She could feel that touch down through her core; effectively causing her to melt into him. He circled his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. Her arms wound their way around his neck. She could feel his leg pressing deliciously against the apex of her thighs. Finally, his lips found hers. His mouth parted and sucked her lip in. She felt herself straining against his thigh, seeking friction she did not know she needed. As she pressed into him he deepened the kiss and slid his tongue into her waiting mouth. Hermione let out a moan as the passion of the kiss built with each passing moment. He pushed her back against the side on the house and continued feverishly kissing her. She was moaning consistently into his mouth now and Severus greedily swallowed each sound.
His hands were suddenly wedged behind her thighs and he bent slightly to lift her up. Hermione wrapped her legs around his waist as they continued to kiss. Her back was pressed against the wall until she felt him begin to move, and he carried her inside.
He placed her down in the brown wing back chair, but refused to break their kiss. He grasped the arms of the chair as he leaned over and continued kissing her. Hermione felt like she was on fire. She couldn’t breathe. She pulled her head back to let out a breathy moan and take in some air. Severus took the opportunity to begin exploring more of her. He began trailing kisses along her jawbone to her neck As he dropped kisses along the underside of her ear, he pulled off her cloak and heard the clasp bounce against the floor. Hermione hastily shrugged the garment off and Severus took in the sight of her beautiful chest and cleavage. Laying back on the chair like this he could see the perfectly round fullness of each breast. He could not resist the temptation to place his hand atop the left breast and squeeze. Hermione’s moans encouraged him and his lips found hers again. He let himself come to his knees on the ground before her.
“Hermione” he whispered between his throaty breathing, “if I don’t stop touching you now I’m afraid I won’t be able to.” His lips dropped feather kisses along her exposed neckline.
She moaned at his admittance. “Please. Stay close to me” was all she could manage to choke out.
Severus’ hand found the hem of her shirt and he pulled it up over her head. He drank in the sight of her pale pink lace bra and kissed every inch of exposed skin.
“Gods, Hermione, you are so beautiful” he admired as he wrapped his arms around her legs and pulled her forward on the chair. He continued his kisses below the elastic band on her bra and down her stomach, dipping his tongue into her navel as he passed. Hermione was squirming under his delicate and compassionate care.
When he reached the waistband of her jeans, he hesitated momentarily before unbuttoning them. He looked into Hermione’s eyes, which seemed full of pure lust. He took that, and the fact that she wasn’t stopping him, as encouragement to shed the garment. As he pulled them down she lifted her arse and he tossed the clothing to the side.
She lay against his brown wing back chair in nothing but the delightful pink bra and matching knickers. He drank in the sight of her for longer than he should have, but she was so damn beautiful, and willing to let him in.
“I can’t get enough of you” he whispered.
She smiled the most genuine smile he thought he’d ever seen. With that he resisted no longer and spread her thighs. He held them apart as he planted a row of kisses along her stomach, just above the pink elastic of her knickers. He felt Hermione’s fingers make their way into his hair as she swallowed deeply.
Severus dropped kisses along the cotton covered area, moving closer to her sex. She smelled utterly divine. When he reached her core, he could feel wet warmth through the fabric. Finally he could resist no more. He hooked his fingers around the elastic and removed the thin fabric. She lifted her hips to help him slide them down.
Severus resumed kissing the smattering of cropped hair that covered her sex. He deeply inhaled her scent with each breath. He glanced up to see that Hermione’s eyes were closed. Her breathing quickened as he moved lower.
When he reached her wet core he lightly kissed it before allowing his tongue to enter her. He licked her slowly inside before dragging his tongue across her opening. Hermione’s moaning increased and her arm was draped across her forehead. Her expression was that of pure ecstasy.
After his face was thoroughly coated with her essence and he had satisfied his immediate taste for her, he left a trail of kisses down the inside of her right thigh. He pulled away and ran his pointer finger along her wet, open snatch. Ever so slowly, he pushed one long finger into her body. She moaned his name in agonizing bliss. Once his finger was as deep as he could reach inside of her, he methodically twisted his hand and curled his finger upward to find the clustering of sensitive nerves there. When his finger brushed against them her entire body convulsed once, her breathing hitched, and she let out another low rumbling moan.
Severus began rubbing the area with earnest. Hermione had repositioned her right leg to drape it over the arm of the chair, leaving her body completely exposed for him. He could feel the pressure building inside of her as her muscles tightened around his finger. He knew he had her right on the edge and elected to insert a second finger into her soaked channel. He continued to rub the delicate spot as she writhed about in agonizing bliss. He could tell that Hermione was ready to crack by the way her delicate features twisted about and her body convulsed.
“Come now, sweet girl. Relax.” His voice was commanding yet calm and it instantly sent Hermione over the edge. Her body began to shake as she screamed out for him and warm liquid rolled down his hand and onto the floor. He did not stop until every bit of that sweet and salty liquid had run out of her.
Severus stilled his fingers inside her and slowly pulled them out. Finally, her breathing began to steady. He planted one gentle kiss against her wet opening and stood before her. He gathered her exhausted frame into his arms and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He sat down on the chair with her draped in his lap. He pushed her hair to the side as her cheek rested against his chest. He wasn’t sure if she’d fallen asleep, but he had no plan to move her.
Several minutes later she had recovered enough to sit up and look at him. Her hair was a complete mess and her eyes looked sleepy. However, her tongue was sharp.
“What in the bloody hell was that?” She asked.
He looked at her confused. “I beg your pardon?”
“I have never in my life had an orgasm like that.”
“Well,” Severus wondered aloud, “has anyone ever paid as much attention to you?”
She smiled at his explanation and returned her head to his chest.
“It’s late” she mumbled, as if the very admittance was painful.
“Yes,” he agreed. “Too late to walk home and you’re too tired to apparate. I can accompany you if you’d..”
Hermione was kissing him again. She was kissing him hard. He gave himself fully to her kisses. When she finally pulled away she stated plainly “or I could just stay here.”
Severus knew his smile was so big it probably looked goofy, but he couldn’t wipe it away.
“Yes. Indeed you could.”
- 6
- 7
- 8
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To Be Alive