Memoirs of a Serpent's Son

A/N: I know this is two days late but I needed the time to, not only go see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which was FANTASTIC, but also to write this all out because I am determined to post it in ONE go. I know that it’s IMPOSSIBLY long… but it needed to be all together. The only thing left is the Epilogue and I ask that you not murder me… I spent a lot of time trying to make this as perfect an ending as possible… for the books and for everything, but you have to have faith in me. I will not lead you astray. Thank you so much for all your support and everything. You have all brightened my life and given me confidence. Full thanks tomorrow with the ending and, hopefully, a satisfying conclusion. :)

Memoirs of a Serpent’s Son

--Age 17—part 43

April 10 –continued

I’ve never done anything like this before… write a journal I mean. I’ve never felt the inclination or the need. But I feel like this is a story that needs to be told… needs to be documented accurately and, most importantly, needs to be finished.

There are very few who know exactly what took place that night of March 10th at the Ministry of Magic… in the Department of Mysteries behind the locked door. Very few who will ever know the truth. The Daily Prophet has had many an article regarding that night… but none of them did justice to the actual events… to the actual horrors and the actual raw emotions that each and every member of the Order of the Phoenix –as well as many Death-Eaters, I’m sure –had to face that night.

The current date is actually July 15th, 1998. Not April. Months have passed and yet… somehow, I still remember every detail of that night in my mind…as though the images have been burned there forever. I was never really good with words… not like Draco or Hermione… but I’ll do my best.

As soon as Draco and I had found out about the attacks throughout England, we left to prepare. The entire Order showed up… within moments there were all there. I don’t think I know the names of half of them, really, but they were all there.

We all stood in the empty training room for final instructions so that we could Apparate to the Ministry in groups. The Advance Guard went first, of course, with Fawkes. They were older Aurors or members who had the most experience. Those that could nullify traps, disband any hidden Death-Eaters or else stupefy the guards and generally ensure that the way is safe for the rest of us.

I hate having to let people do that. I should be the first one in, I shouldn’t be letting people put themselves in danger for me, just for me… but Draco would never have allowed it. Ron… Hermione… Remus and all the others have been trying to get through to me for years but… something about the way Draco does it. The way he always demanded that I realize that I was not going to go it alone… the way he would literally shake the idea out of my head and force himself forward to stop me…

It was just different. Just… just different.

……

I told you I wasn’t quite as good with words as Draco was.

No matter…

We let the group of Advance Guards Apparate and I stood there, my arms entwined with Draco’s. We were to Apparate in groups of two for safety. I couldn’t look anywhere but Draco’s face… his eyes shone with determination as he carefully reinforced the elaborate walls and masks that he’d spent so many years perfecting… but after all this time… after seeing the rawest forms of Draco Malfoy, I could see through at least some of his masks.

There was sheer terror lingering just beneath the sheet of cold, silver ice in his eyes and that would only ever disappear when he looked directly at me. When our eyes met the fear disappeared and was replaced with confidence. Real confidence.

He believed in me.

That is something I still cannot get over. It always blows me away when I think about it.

Draco Malfoy believed in me.

I could never understand it. Never. And what bothered me more is that, even with my subtle knowledge that he had confidence in me, there was so much more hidden under the innumerable layers of Draco’s façade. More than I had ever discovered and more than I ever dared to dream of.

I knew in that moment that if not for all the others reasons that glared at me, I needed to succeed that night just so I could learn more about Draco… learn more about his depth and who he really was… I wanted to know every in and out of his being and be part of all of it.

I’ve never felt that way… not before this.

It was a feeling so powerful I felt myself breathing harder and I wanted to scream to let it all out… I wanted to thrash and expel the tension from it in some way but I couldn’t… I just couldn’t. Not at that moment.

Finally the time came for us to go. We Apparated together and as we moved through spaced I silently thought out my feelings for him and tried to let him know without words… but I was never good at that. And I don’t think he got any of it…

I missed my chance, I guess…

We arrived in the Atrium. It had changed rather significantly since that fateful night in fifth year when first met Bellatrix Lestrange and last saw Sirius alive.

Last saw Sirius at all.

The only thing that remained the same, in fact, was the golden fountain in the centre of it. But the statues’ faces looked wearier and less proud. They almost seemed frightened.
Fawkes was perched atop the statue and bowed his head in greeting when we arrived.

The guards around us were already stunned and sprawled on the floor. Apart from the few stupefied bodies, the place was eerily empty. I shivered despite myself. I did not feel well at the idea but without pausing to think or direct, I just surged forward and ran down to the lifts to get to the Department of Mysteries.

Order members had already Apparated there to scout out the area. I felt Draco, Ron and Hermione press in closer to me. Ginny and Luna were nearby as well and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so strong or confident…

And yet a part of me still winced inside at the thought that Neville wasn’t with us. He wasn’t there… he was gone.

But I tried to stay focused and keep my emotions in check. I set up the careful barriers around my mind to defend myself from Voldemort and anyone else that might be trying to infiltrate.

When we got to the right floor, I bolted again. I ran and I ran down the long corridors, friends and phoenix following closely, until I got to the locked door at the end of the hall… The door with death behind it.

But there was something odd about it. Something that I can’t remember if I’ve noticed before.

The word ‘Love’ was written on the door in ornate lettering.

I stopped dead, squeezing the immaterial key in my hand, trying to understand what it was I was supposed to do. Everyone had already arrived around me and were waiting. They were waiting for me to find the answer… for me to just know. They were waiting for the whole “Chosen One” bit to actually come through… but I knew it wouldn’t work that way. I’ve never been more special than anyone else and the knowledge that no one else knew this flooded me with panic. I stared from the door, to the key and back again, hoping that eventually the answer would just jump out at me.

Draco stepped forward suddenly and ran his fingers along the intricate grooves drawing into the door. His eyes were distant momentarily and he tilted his head as though trying to understand what he was seeing. I followed his gaze but saw nothing new. Fawkes landed on his shoulder and cooed softly.

“What is it?” I asked him urgently, feeling my anxiety rise uncontrollably. I needed to act. I’m not the kind that does well sitting down and waiting. I’m not patient. I’m not controlled. I act on impulse.

“There’s a message,” he said quietly, taking no notice of the phoenix. Without being prompted to do so, he read out what he could see. “ ‘Love transcends Death and so Love can be the only Guest. Love transcends Death, my Love.’ ”

My breath hitched as I listened to him. No one else spoke but stared at the blank door and wondered if Draco was just absolutely mad. And then, as I surveyed him and tried to find something off about his actions, two words burned into the back of my mind and blinded me as the message replayed itself in my head.

My Love.

“Draco, give me your hand,” I ordered quickly. He didn’t ask questions but held out his hand, looking confused.

I took Draco’s hand in mind, holding the key between our palms, and kissed his knuckles. His eyes widened slightly but he acquiesced (a word that he taught me) when I had him hold the key with me. We lifted it, not to the doorknob, but to the centre of the panel, just underneath the word ‘Love’ and pressed it into the wood.

It transformed itself into an actual shape, a flower actually, before flowing out in liquid-like tendrils over the surface of the door, taking in only some of the complex grooves to form a pattern.

There was a low sound of locks clicking open and gears grinding together. Magic sizzled around the entrance as well as the ‘key’ passed over the right marking and unlocked the charms and wards to let us pass through.

Finally, everything had been removed and the key condensed again, forming the flower briefly before turning back into the shapeless item it was before. I picked it up and turned to Aberforth.

“Was that really what I was supposed to do? You designed it to work like that??” I asked rather testily. He smirked at me.

“The key is different for everyone,” he said simply. “And I wasn’t aware of the message your mother left you on the door.” I gasped and my eyes widened at his words.

My mother?

She left me the message… “Love transcends Death, my Love…”

But why? Why that message? How could she know that the key would react this way to me? How could she be sure that I would have a loved one with me when and if I ever managed to get to this door?

How did she know that I would need to use the door… to get to the Deathly Hallows… and still WHY a lover?

She couldn’t have anticipated that… could she?

Draco and Hermione both looked as though they had some speculation on the matter but there was no time to listen to their theories…time was running low… we needed to act.

And the more I think on that… the more I wish I had taken my time and cherished those last moments… reveled in every bit of comfort that I felt while surrounded by those particular people…

But I didn’t. Voldemort wouldn’t wait.

I looked at Draco once more, catching the beautiful encouraging look he had on his face as he nodded to me and urged me onward. I nodded back to him and walked right into the room.

That was surprising, I have to say. I don’t know what I really expected but it wasn’t what was there.

There was just a room. Just a circular room with walls covered in mirrors. The mirrors reflected nothing but black and the images of Order members disappeared into the void they displayed. There were runes and symbols engraved around the base of the walls, into the glass, but otherwise nothing. The floor was the same tiled marble as the hallways and the only thing in the room at all was a podium in the very centre, illuminated by a light with no source.

In the centre of the podium was a small keyhole surrounded by four sets of handprints. I suppose each set was for one of the four Unspeakables that dealt directly with this room…

There were names written above each set of prints, but none of them were specific names. They were Silver Stag, Green Flame, Herald Hog and Resolute Raven.

I stared at the handprints and felt my breathing become more erratic. How was I supposed to understand this?? Apart from knowing that Silver Stag must have been my father, what else could I divine from that??

“Aberforth!” I called out. He did not enter the room, as he and Hagrid were to stand guard outside the door, in case there was any trouble. “How the hell do I do this??”

“I cannot give you the answer!” he cried back sadly. “I am bound by the magic we used to infuse the room. You will understand Harry, just let yourself. All I can tell you is that I am the Herald Hog.”

I grimaced and nearly exploded on the spot but the door shut quickly in my face and I turned angrily back to the podium, fighting with myself, trying to understand the meanings of all of it.

I AM NOT THE KIND OF PERSON WHO UNDERSTANDS RIDDLES QUICKLY!

How many times do I have to say it? I’m not a thinker, I’m a doer!

I stared at the prints and felt the eyes of every other Order member on my back, no one daring to speak for fear of throwing off my concentration.

That bothered me even more…

“I don’t know, I just don’t know!!” I finally exclaimed, fisting my hair. Draco immediately pulled my arms away and held my wrists tightly, staring into my face with the same expression he’d given me for seven years… except instead of loathing in his eyes, there was so much more.

“Harry, calm down!” he ordered harshly. “You can’t give up now! Not when we are so close!”

I was breathing heavily as I stared into his crystal eyes and yet I wanted to hit him…

I wanted to hit him for being so rational and yet for never quite understanding what I felt the way I wanted him to. He did a right better job than most people, but even Draco could never fully comprehend what it was like… It’s the most isolating experience to know that you are the “Chosen One”…. the one who is supposed to save the world and defeat evil and no one else but you CAN do it.

To know that everything rests on your shoulders but you have NO INSTRUCTIONS on HOW to accomplish your task… meanwhile you just have to keep watching people die and get hurt in honor of your noble cause…

But there is nothing noble about it.

And how could he say that we were so close? We were still miles away! MILES AWAY from it at that point! Even if we figured out the bloody podium, we had to be to Stonehenge, use the damn mirror, hope to some kind of god that Sirius could hear us, then hope that he could call us over to the Deathly Hallows, hope that Voldemort hadn’t already sucked all the magic out of the place, try and defeat him and his Death-Eaters without dying and then try to find a way to get back in one piece.

WE WERE EONS AWAY FROM OUR GOAL.

But it didn’t matter that the details of his comment were wrong… because in essence he was right. He was always right about those things… somehow. Even though he was still a bloody git.

“Fine, then HELP ME,” I shouted back, wishing immediately that I hadn’t.

“Well, Silver Stag is your father, right Harry?” Ron said quickly, hoping to calm my nerves I imagine. I nodded.

“But who are the others?” I snapped, glaring at the engraved riddles.

“Green Flame…” Draco murmured. “Did you not say your mother had green eyes like you?” I nodded to that. “She was also a redhead, no?” I nodded again.

“And she had a fiery personality,” Remus whispered from behind me, his voice heavy with worry. There was a secret kind of longing in his eyes that I didn’t understand at the time… I don’t think it was meant to be understood… just seen. “She must have been Green Flame.”

“Then Rookwood must be Resolute Raven…” I muttered. That was… odd… for him. I imagine… I don’t know, but there was no time to think on it. “Then how do we do this? We know who was who… how do we get their handprints?!”

There was silence, then…

“Harry,” Hermione said hesitantly. “Perhaps we have to take the places of these four… Logically… if that were the case, the order should probably be… you as your father, Ron as Aberforth, Draco as Rookwood… and me as your mother, I suppose… as I’m the only girl.”

I stared at her, thinking it over. She had a point… that was the logical order. But something seemed off.

“Fine, let’s try it,” I told them. We each took our spots but I felt this unease in me. I placed the key on top of the keyhole, hoping it would transform itself into the appropriate shape and let us through… but once we put our hands down in place nothing happened at all.

It wasn’t right.

And then the same words flashed in my mind as before.

My Love…

“This isn’t about background,” I whispered, speaking before the thoughts had even fully formed in my head. “It’s not about blood… this is about who you are most like… and who you are partnered with… how you are partnered… what you are…”

I don’t know if I made any sense to them at the time, but I understood myself.

“What do you suggest, Harry?” Draco asked, as though he already knew the answer. I looked at him with unsure eyes but he reassured me in his look.

“You have to be James,” I told him quickly. He was most like my father… sometimes more than me. “I have to be Green Flame… I have to be my mother. Draco and I have to be paired.” I thought quickly. “Hermione you have to be Aberforth… the studies… and Ron you have to be Rookwood.” The symbolism of the names didn’t even fully hit me as I spoke, but it didn’t matter then.

I acted on this innate impulse that directed me… I felt as though I was under the influence of the Felix Felicis potion… doing only what I was directed to do… some other power was pushing me.

No one argued. We each took our positions and placed our palms in the prints, pressing down into the podium.

The prints began to glow a faint yellow and the key lifted into the air, shifting shapes incessantly at the speed of light before suddenly settling on the right shape. It dropped itself into the keyhole and then the entire room shone with a blinding white light. I struggled to keep my hands in place as a torrent of air exploded from the ground around us and everything disappeared in a whirlwind of light and air.

I think I may have screamed. It was painful and hot but I don’t remember if I made a sound at all. I couldn’t hear a thing apart from the rush of wind at my ear and the heartbeat against my chest.

And as suddenly as it had begun, it was gone. There was no light and no wind and just a clear, starry night around us.

The podium was gone and the walls were gone. The ground was no longer hard but soft and earthy beneath our feet and we found ourselves surrounded by giant stone monuments.

It was dark and cool but silent as death. The only source of heat was from Fawkes as he hovered silently around the circle. There was nothing around us apart from the stones and each other. There were no sounds coming from anywhere, despite the fact that there were massive attacks going on not too far off.

I looked around myself, studying my surroundings and trying to find a sign of something foul. There was a stench coming from some unseen source… and the moonlight was reflecting oddly on the grass.

Then I noticed it. The stones were all marked with something that was glittering in an unusual manner.

“These are markings for an incantation,” Draco muttered, his eyes wide as disks and vaguely resembling the moon. “These kinds of symbols are only used for old Soul Magic.”

“And the ground,” Hermione remarked oddly. “It’s covered with the same substance. There is an array drawn on the grass…”

“It’s Dragon’s blood,” Remus explained, examining the stone’s markings more closely. “This is what they attacked the Dragons in Romania for.”

“Of course,” Hermione admitted, suddenly aware. I hate it when she does that. Only remembers important things when it’s quite a bit too late and we’re already in a mess. “One of the uses of Dragon’s blood is for drawing magic circles. It strengthens the power of the incantation because of the properties in the blood.”

I glared at her. HOW could she only just remember this NOW?!

“So Voldemort is already in the Deathly Hallows,” I concluded angrily. “We have to hurry. There is no time to waste now. Everyone get around me and touch a part of the mirror.”

I pulled it out of my pocket and Draco immediately stood next to me, flattening his back against my stomach to let as many people into the circle as possible. His body was likely as tense as mine was…

Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Fred, George, Mr. Weasley, Tonks, Remus, Shacklebolt, Moody, Bill, as well as the many other members that I don’t know well enough to name in one line, circled in and pressed themselves together to touch a piece of the mirror I held.

I kept staring into the glass and waiting for Sirius’ face to show up on the other side of it… to call to me and tell me that this was all fake. It didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t real… it was just a dream… just a nightmare.

To wake me up from my madness and bring me back to Hogwarts… bring me all the way back to fourth year and pretend like Cedric never died… like Voldemort never returned… or back to third year and Wormtail never escaped…

Back all the way to my childhood and my parents were never killed at all.

But he couldn’t come back and, in all honesty, how could I say that I would really want to go back to the beginning and change it all? Things would never be this way again… I would not be who I am…

Then… I wonder… did my parents really have to die for me to live? For me to grow up and become who I am? Did Cedric and Sirius and Dumbledore and Charlie and Neville really have to give their lives for everyone to grow the way they did? Could we not have come to the same ending… the same understandings and the same friendships even without the threat of death and destruction on the horizon?

Or rather, just at our door.

Did Draco have to lose his parents to come to terms with his feelings for me? Or to show me how he felt? Did he have to face death and threats to realize that he wasn’t meant to be a Death-Eater?

The truth is I don’t know and I’m not even sure I would change it. I’m not even sure that it should be changed because I’m not ready to deal with the possible consequences of another life.

I’ve had a hard enough time growing up through this one and fighting for friends and against friends to come to this point… I just don’t know who I would be if I weren’t Harry Potter… Boy-Who-Lived and Saviour of the Wizarding World.

I’ve never wanted to be that… but I don’t know anything else. No matter how much I wanted it I just don’t know how to be ‘normal’. I think something inside me just pushes me to act and play the damn hero sometimes. I can’t let people suffer and I cannot let evil subsist.

I guess I’m just stubborn.

When everyone was finally in place, I looked into the mirror again and sought hard for another indication of what I should do. There was nothing. No instruction… no direction. Nothing.

Just the knowledge that I had to call to Sirius on the other side somehow.

So I did.

“Sirius,” I whispered at first, staring into the mirror and channeling all the energy and concentration I could into my focus on the glass before me. “Sirius.” I spoke a bit louder but heard nothing. There was only the eerie silence of Stonehenge around us and the looming fear that I would not succeed. “Sirius!” I cried out with a little more desperation. There was a flash of something down my back but I don’t know what it was.

“Sirius,” Remus’ voice suddenly broke through the silence after mine. His eyes were concentrated on the same spot of the mirror as mine had been. “Sirius, come.”

“Sirius,” I called with him. Soon Draco joined in, the cloak that had once belonged to Sirius billowing about in the non-existent wind, and then everyone else. We chanted the name of my fallen godfather out into the silent night.

Again and again, we called to the dog star and hoped to get an answer… hoped to be welcome in his world for a while… hoped against all hope and knowing nothing of what awaited us…

“SIRIUS!” we finally cried out in perfect unison, demanding a response from the Ghost World and forcing our voices through the veils to ring out.

And with that word the mirror began to glow the same faint yellow that the podium did. It pulsated at first in the darkness of the night, but slowly the light grew stronger and brighter and the entire mirror was engulfed in the light.

I stared hard into the glass, my eyes fighting to see through the light and for a brief moment, there was a flicker of Padfoot’s all-too familiar face before his voice rang out.

The word was incomprehensible, but I was sure that I heard him call my name… yet everyone gasped the same way I did and I could tell that each of them had heard their own name and no one else’s. He was calling back to everyone at once.

The glowing on the mirror spread and swallowed every member whole before an awkward tearing sound echoed through the air and lingered in my ears. Suddenly, Fawkes appeared in the centre of the light, cried out in the night and burst into flames. Then he was gone. But I had no time or chance to react…

The world began to spin, slowly at first and then uncontrollably. I felt a pulling feeling behind my navel but also in the deepest core of me. We were being pulled not only through space but through worlds and through death and I felt the intense power of the vacuum suck at my soul and demand that I give in. It demanded my life-force from me and would not relent.

I screamed. I hollered and yelled and next to me Draco cried out. Everyone’s mouths were open in pain and agony but no sound actually escaped through the whirling sensation that the transition was causing.

I struggled to keep my eyes open through the nauseating experience and noticed that the arrays that Aberforth had drawn on our foreheads were glowing brightly and dispelling the sensation of having our souls sucked out through our pores.

But then I felt a stabbing pain in my stomach as I realized that Draco was still screaming. His eyes were shut tight and the array on his forehead was shining more brightly than anyone else’s. I clenched my jaw and fought hard not to reach out and grab him. I couldn’t let go of the mirror… but he must have been in so much pain… I knew his discomfort… I knew that he hadn’t wanted to be enchanted with Blood or Soul Magic again… but I couldn’t stop it… worse I didn’t even think to.

I fought with my feelings and wrangled them back to try and maintain the barriers around my mind. This fight had not yet even begun… I couldn’t lose my determination now.

Finally the glowing dissipated and then disappeared. We were left in much the same place and position in which we left… The circle of members had not broken and each of us still clutched the mirror as we could. Stonehenge was still around us and it was dark but there was a distinct difference.

The night was foggy and misty… it was so thick I could hardly see three feet in front of me. There was no moon in the sky but the stars littered the black blanket of night in different constellations than the usual ones.

The ground was also not covered in Dragon’s blood. There was no stench… but the air was thick with magic and compressing forces of darkness and death that threatened to invade your mind and body at the first chance they got.

I didn’t want to open my mouth for fear of letting in some wandering soul, but I had no choice.

“I think it’s done,” I whispered, though my words echoed around the area anyway. “We need to find the Death-Eaters and Voldemort… we need to get this done as quickly as possible and get out. Let go of the mirror now so we can look around.”

As soon as I said the words, Draco let go and collapsed onto the ground, as though the only thing keeping him standing had been the possibility of death awaiting his release of the portkey.

I gasped, released the mirror, and bent down at his side. Fawkes suddenly appeared from nowhere and landed next to him as well, cooing a soft song into his ear. I couldn’t understand how Fawkes had made it through the veil, but that didn’t matter… He was there and able to help and I needed to make sure Draco was alright… I needed him to be alright.

My heart raced at the thought of him already too weak to fight… already gone… perhaps even dead. I didn’t know! How could I know if something went wrong?!

I touched his body but I could feel his chest heaving with breath.

Draco’s eyes fluttered open for a moment and he looked up in surprise. His face turned a shade of pink and he scrambled to his feet, apparently ashamed.

“Are you alright?” I asked him worriedly, feeling mildly relieved that he was alright to stand.

“I’m fine,” he replied, pulling his wand and looking around himself. “Just the shock… from the transition.”

I didn’t believe him. I don’t think he believed himself. In fact, I KNOW he didn’t believe what he said, but he said it to try and assuage my worries… and there was no time for argument.

“Let’s go then,” I said after a moment or two, surveying his pale face as I spoke. I looked around and saw nothing but fog and then something hit me. “How do we find Death-Eaters amidst Death??”

Draco laughed mirthlessly.

“Go to where the souls are screaming,” he said simply and with a look of disgust.

The thought struck me as odd but something in the Deathly Hallows agreed with Draco and immediately a shrieking kind of cry erupted into the infernal night, slicing through me to the bone and rattling my skeleton like only a cry of death could.

I had my wand in my hand at that point. Everyone did. We created a circle and kept our backs to one another, facing outward and trying to blink through the impenetrable fog. Moody cast out a dispelling charm but the fog only lightened very slightly. I could now see four feet ahead of me.

I felt a great sense of trepidation wash over me and sought that place inside myself –the one in which I store my fears and discomforts when I’m called to face Voldemort or fight in any way –and calmed myself. I tried to think only of defeating Voldemort once and for all so that, at least, the rest of the world could be safe… so that Draco could be safe and finally see his name cleared… so that Ron and Hermione could be together and happy… so that Ginny and Luna could grow up and live out their own lives… so that all these people might finally know a world without fear and darkness…

But the shadows of the Ghost World crept up on me and instilled in me a sense of anxiety that I just couldn’t shake. It couldn’t bring me down.

I had to press on.

“I hate it,” I admitted through gritted teeth. “But we need to split into groups and move out to find the Death-Eaters. For all we know this place could be as vast as our world…”

“Then let’s go,” Remus nodded.

We split into groups of two. Draco and I walked forward in the direction of the shriek we’d heard but I wasn’t listening for screaming souls… I was straining my ears against the wind and the death to hear hissing… a familiar hissing sound that only I could understand.

We needed to find Nagini first and foremost. We needed to kill her… to destroy her and make Voldemort human again… if that was at all possible.

We needed to make him vulnerable to the same curses and attacks that would kill any normal person anyway.

I listened but heard nothing. Ron and Hermione were not far off. In fact, no one was very far… it felt odd but the further we walked from one another, the smaller the whole world seemed. I could see everyone more clearly as I walked away from the centre of the Stonehenge replica but the fog and mist were still thick.

We came to a large gnarled tree with no leaves and claw-like branches. I stopped dead, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end. There was someone there… someone, something… anything. It wasn’t right.

I stopped Draco with my hand and nodded towards the tree. He held out his wand and cast a silent beam of light but nothing penetrated the fog…nothing made it through.

And then, without warning came a low hiss, followed by a mad cackled and the shadows around us grew darker and more dense.

“Ah how wickedly wonderful! Ickle Potter has come to play!” shrieked the maddened voice of Bellatrix Lestrange from somewhere behind the tree. “And he’s brought my sod of a nephew with him! This IS exciting, isn’t it?” A shadow crept from behind the tree but still had no form. “What happened to little baby Longbottom? Not dead is he? Just as weak as his parents, I wager.” My muscles tightened and I clenched my jaw, grasping my wand and holding it out before me like a sword.

“He was NOT weak!” I shouted at the shapeless shadow before me, shaking from the fury that coursed through me. The psychotic cackle echoed through the still air once more.

“Nonsense, Potty,” she scolded bemusedly. “You’re such a sore loser. Same thing happened after ickle Sirius lost to me. You know, if you can’t stand to lose, you shouldn’t play the game, Chosen One!”

“Is that what you told my mother before you killed her??” Draco suddenly hollered, his wand arm steady as he held it trained on the core of the shadow. “Did you claim that it was all in good fun, when you murdered her??” Draco seethed in anger and his eyes flashed a dark stormy grey that reminded me of the skies during a hurricane. “This is NOT A GAME, you filthy bitch!!”

Suddenly there was a crack and Bellatrix solidified, her pale face contrasting horribly against the dark backdrop. Her face was marred with horrible scarring and most of her features were permanently disfigured from the explosion Neville had caused. I smirked at the price she had to pay, but it was still not enough.

“You insolent traitor!” she shot back at Draco, her wand held pointing back at him now. “What would old Lucius say if he heard you speak that way to your superiors? Tsk tsk, now now, Drakiekins, you must consider his feelings! After all, even when he knew that I killed him, he did not say a harsh word to my name! You should be more respectful, little dragon, or I just might have to slay you too.”

“Have at me, then!” Draco sneered in a fit of rage and fury, casting a red curse forward and catching his aunt’s robes as she swiftly evaded. The black fabric sizzled and burned on the air, disappearing into ashes before disappearing into little puffs of smoke.

She moved around me and Draco surged forward to meet her, their spells clashing in midair as I tried to join in. I made a move to cast a spell on her as her attention was diverted but something caught me in the back of the head.

“No playing dirty, Potter!” an unfamiliar voice snickered. I dropped to the ground, turning abruptly on my side and shot the Coagulating Curse at the solid figure behind me. It was dark magic that was hidden in the volumes of the Black House but I didn’t care now.

The man shrieked in pain and shot out a curse in my direction but it glanced off of something unseen and hurtled harmlessly into the ground. I scrambled back to my feet and held my wand up again but from somewhere behind me a green curse –one that was very familiar to me –shot forward and caught the Death-Eater (whom I now know to have been Dolohov) in the chest. He gasped and fell limply to the ground.

I shuddered and gasped, wanting to vomit and empty my body of all my organs when I saw the faint silver spectre escape his body and dissolve into the air. I couldn’t breathe for moments at a time. Then, in alarm, I swung around to see who cast the spell. In the distance, just through the fog, I saw Remus looking back at me before he spun back to fight the Death-Eater he had encountered.

Remus had killed Dolohov?

Even then it seemed odd for him to have been so keen…

But there was no time. I needed to find Nagini and Voldemort.

I turned back and vaguely saw Ginny fighting against MacNair while Luna went head to head with Goyle. In all fairness, the image of tiny little Luna Lovegood fighting the massive troll that was Goyle Sr. was rather absurd… or it would have been had she not been bleeding from the nose and arm as she cast the Vein Summons at him –a spell designed to remove all the blood vessels from your opponent’s body. It didn’t work properly, mind you, and only caused his veins to bleed, from the looks of his red and purple skin.

He still had enough life to raise his wand and try to kill Luna. I cried out into the air in her defense, pointing my wand at him.

“Sectumsempra!” I screamed and a jet of green light erupted from my wand and split Goyle open, ensuring that the bleeding quickened and his death was imminent.

“Still haven’t learned your own spells, Potter?” a silky voice came from behind me. I spun and cast out a stunning spell but it was deflected immediately. I hardly even saw Snape’s face before he threw me back, straight into the tree, with his wand and proceeded to sneer at me in my weakness.

“Why bother making up my own when you’re so good at killing spells?” I shot, throwing up an intensive shield before Snape could send a thing at me. “That is your specialty, isn’t it? Murder?”

“Potter, you fool!” he cried, wiping away my shield with a wave of his arm and throwing Levicorpus at me. I dodged and tumbled, throwing up a Choking Curse at him, sucking the air from his Lungs and closing his throat. He coughed for a moment but countered me with a spell that had no name, but hurtled through me like both ice and fire at once, causing agonizing burns from the inside out. I lost concentration and my spell faltered as I shrieked in pain. “Can you really be so daft?!”

The spell lifted from me and yet I still felt burning rage as I jumped back to my feet and growled deeply, preparing a spell for him. But something came from behind me (a blue light that didn’t quite hit Snape, but jolted his concentration) and then a voice.

“Harry! Go!” Remus cried. “I’ll take care of Snape!”

Remus ran forward and Snape’s face contorted into a disgusted and frustrated expression. He looked as though he was about to contest the arrangement but another spell flew towards him and he barely had enough time to block it.

I glared at the bastard and turned around, trying to pay more attention to my surroundings. It was maddening.

The fog would lift in certain areas and allow me to see what was unfolding, but never showing me the person I sought… never showing me exactly what I needed to do.

Ron and Hermione were taking on Mulciber and Amycus Carrow. Tonks was facing Rabastan Lestrange and Moody was fighting Avery. Fred and George were against Rosier. Bill was fighting Nott and Mr. Weasley took on Rookwood. Kingsley was fighting two nameless Death-Eaters at once.

There were more fighting and more without names that I care to admit, but everywhere there was magic flying and crackling on the air and most importantly I felt myself slowly being drained of it.

I felt as though every curse or hex or spell of any kind that didn’t hit its mark halted dead on the air and dissolved into nothingness. My breathing quickened as this could only have been explained by one thing.

Voldemort was already working his incantation and was starting to drain the power from the Deathly Hallows.

As soon as I realized it, everything seemed to stop dead momentarily. Nothing moved and no one spoke. There was nothing at all and the emptiness of that split second in time was crushing. Without warning, I opened my eyes wider and from the dense mist before me was suddenly revealed the tall and spectral form of Lord Voldemort himself, standing in the centre of a carefully drawn array… but it was not drawing in Dragon’s blood. It was drawn in souls.

The silver lines writhed and wavered as the spirits that were bound to the array cried and struggled against the magic that kept them in place. I felt laboured breaths push and pull through me as time crept slowly by, offering its help to give me time to think out a plan and sort out my feelings.

This was sickening and I was glaring through the messy locks of my hair at the shadow of a man that stood before me. His posture and expression gave away his own foolish and arrogant belief that he was supremely invincible. I had always gotten that kind of feeling from Voldemort.

He was too damn self-absorbed to know that he was still only human, no matter what steps he might have taken to disrobe himself of that vulnerable cloak. Humanity was not something one could reject so easily…

But if anyone had come close at all, it was him.

“Good evening, Harry,” he hissed calmly. “I didn’t think you would make it.”

“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world,” I mocked, unable to bite back my disdain. Voldemort titled his head oddly and gave me a grin that showed no warmth or emotion of any kind.

“You should mind your manners, Potter,” he replied. “If you were more respectful I might spare your life and show you mercy when I finally ascend into my full power.”

“Oh I see,” I said with mock surprise. “You have been operating under the false impression that I’m simply going to give up.” I smiled back at him with a smile that I had learned from Draco. “I’m afraid you’re wrong again, old man.”

“And when was I wrong before?” he asked, mildly amused.

“Several times,” I sneered. “You’d think that by now you would know better than to assume anything, judging from all the failures you’ve faced in the past. How many times have I defeated you now? I don’t think I’ve got enough fingers.”

“What would your mother say, Harry?” Voldemort sneered back, flicking his wand and forcing an alleyway of clear ground around us, dispelling the fog. My rage rose and I clenched my fist around my wand, aimed straight for where his heart might once have been.

“I wouldn’t know!” I shouted, still fighting to restrain myself. I was vaguely aware that the grounds had shifted and Draco was close at hand, fighting tooth and nail against Bellatrix. His face was bloody and his hair was stained red but I didn’t know why. I didn’t take my eyes off Voldemort. “I’ve never known my parents because of you, you bastard!”

He raised his wand to me but I dropped to the ground and rolled, casting every spell I knew as quickly as possible at him. I found my knees again and threw up a shield to block his lightning yellow spell. It crashed through the shield like thin glass and sliced through the flesh on my arms and sides as I shielded my face.

“Caldoro Sanguis!” I hollered, throwing the Blood Boiling Curse at him. He cast a shield and knocked it away, but the spell splintered and jet off around him, enveloping him and slicing into pieces of his limbs. Immediately his arm began to turn red and the skin slowly burnt black.

“BLOOD MAGIC!” he shrieked into the night. “You play dirty, little saviour! But I’m the most powerful sorcerer of all time! You cannot beat me with your simple little tricks, no matter how ancient they are!”

There was a surge of flames and poisoned air that soared toward me. I threw myself down, and hid my head in the grassy ground, hoping against all hope that the spell would miss me. I felt the tips of my hair sizzle and get eaten away by the spell but it didn’t hit me otherwise… it just flew over me.

I heard a loud shriek and strange cawing in the air. I turned sharply to see Fawkes clawing at Voldemort’s face and force his wand away with the massive flaps of his wings. And then more screaming but from another direction.

“You are vile and worthless!” Bellatrix was shrieking. My eyes followed her wand and I saw Draco’s near motionless body on the ground, his beautiful blond head soaked in red liquid. I tried to scream but couldn’t. Bellatrix began to speak the words of the Killing Curse but a flash of red light threw her off and Draco pulled himself up, stalking over to her, his wand pointed at her chest. She was bleeding badly now and a branch stuck oddly through the side of her abdomen as she had been impaled on part of the tree.

“I wouldn’t expect you to know something valuable when you saw it,” Draco shot at her, his tone full of venom and hatred. “You’ve never known the difference between rubbish and treasures, otherwise you might have realized that FAMILY comes BEFORE POLITICS!” He cast a crucio at her and she opened her mouth wide, letting out the most hideously disturbing sound I’d ever heard. It tore through me and aggravated my wounds, just with the sound. “That was for my father!” He cast another crucio and she writhed and twitched violently against the tree, her wound spilling more and more blood as she did. “That was for my mother!” Again, he cast the Cruciatus curse and his aunt’s condition only worsened, her maddened eyes wide and full of horror. “That was for Sirius Black!” He paused and gave her a moment to breathe. Her wand lay at her feet and Draco stomped on it, causing it to snap in two. “But most importantly,” he hissed wickedly at her, his eyes colder than I’ve ever seen them. “This is for Neville Longbottom.” Her eyes grew wide as discs and she shook her head vigorously, attempting to plead with him through the blood that spilled from her mouth but Draco didn’t hear her. “AVADA KEDAVRA!”

The jet of deadly green light burst from Draco’s wand and buried itself deep into Bellatrix Lestrange’s heart, tearing her soul from her and forcing it into the hallowed atmosphere. I paid no mind to her, however. My eyes were on Draco as he writhed on the spot, his face paler than the moon and pure agony written on his features.

His soul was tearing and I finally, FINALLY, managed to call out to him.

“DRACO!” I hollered, scrambling to get to my feet to run to him but a curse hit me square in the back and halted me in my steps. My eyes went wide and fought to breathe, realizing that whatever it was, it had cut me across the back.

Draco looked up at me from where he was. He was breathing hard and shaking, his face slick with sweat, but he was alive… he was alive! His face was stricken with fear and he rushed to my side to help me.

“IMPOSSIBLE BEAST!” Voldemort cried out from behind me. Draco reached me and I turned around to see the man who was once Tom Riddle, throw Fawkes off with a spell that hardly affected the phoenix at all, before falling back and bringing his hands to cup his mutilated face. And then a low hiss broke from his mouth as he foolishly called to his last life-line in Parseltongue. “Come, Nagini. Rid me of this aggravating creature!”

I grinned darkly and raised my wand to Voldemort, waiting for Nagini to appear so that I could finish him and her off in one go. The python slithered forward through the grass and reared up with its strong muscles to claw and bite at Fawkes. I trained my wand on the snake, but before I could move a muscle, Snape appeared before me.

“Flagraro cutis!” I cried out immediately at the supposed Half-Blood Prince before me. He whipped his wand around and blocked my Skin Scorching Curse without a second thought. I threw spell after spell, unaware of what it was I was throwing, my eyes were flashing back and forth to the scene behind him.

I was mildly aware that Draco was throwing curses at Snape too. He deflected them all but sent none in return… in retrospect it was very unusual but I had been paying little attention.

Fawkes was far off, next to Voldemort and fighting against Nagini. The snake was hissing madly, crying out for help in Parseltongue and demanding that the bird stop but Fawkes did no such thing. Finally, the phoenix cried out a beautiful note and tore Nagini clean in half.

Both of their bodies went up in a blast of pure white flames and they both dissolved into nothingness whilst Voldemort screeched something in Parseltongue through his agony next to them as the last outside piece of his soul was destroyed.

There were no ashes from Fawkes’ death… nothing to keep and to remember… nothing from which to be reborn.

Fawkes was gone forever…

And yet, the same beautiful note rang out for what seemed like hours in the eerie night air of the Deathly Hallows. Strange calls and echoes broke out but their sources were unknown and unidentifiable. I could suddenly only hear my own breath and heartbeat before remembering that I was still fighting Snape.

I turned back to him, realizing that Draco was standing, his eyes distant and staring directly at Voldemort. There was no discernable expression on his face but concentration as he stared at the villain before him. Voldemort had a reptilian smile on his warped features as he stared at Draco. His red eyes grew darker and more malicious and then I realized it.

Draco was entranced by the Parseltongue.

“Draco, no!” I cried out to him. Voldemort cackled darkly and I continued to throw spells at Snape between my frantic cries.

“No, Draco,” Voldemort hissed in the snake-language. “Come to me, Draco. I’ll forgive your failure at Hogwarts… I’ll even bring you with me to power. All you must do is kill Harry… Kill Harry Potter, Draco… do it now.”

“NO, DRACO DON’T LISTEN!” I screamed, refusing to give in. Draco looked as though he faltered in his gaze at my words, but they weren’t getting through the way they should. I refused to use Parseltongue to get him back…

I refused to use his weakness against him like that! I was NOT going to sink to Voldemort’s level! I WOULD NOT DO IT!

“Kill him, Draco,” Voldemort continued to hiss with a malevolent smirk. “He is just a thorn in your side, young Malfoy. Your father knew how to choose his allies. You know what you have to do. Just kill Harry Potter.”

“DRACO, LOOK AT ME!” I screamed as Snape fought off my assault of curses. I was pleading, tears running down my face as I saw Draco’s head turn to me and his emotionless gaze fixate on me. “Draco, please! Please, Draco… it’s me! It’s just me! You can fight this! You are not weak! You are not a coward like he is! You can face your weaknesses and come out the victor! Draco, please, love!”

And for the briefest moment, recognition flickered in Draco’s eyes. His gaze widened and he was breathing heavily again. His lips moved as if to speak but he simply lifted his wand. I inhaled sharply at the image but Draco swung his arm around and cast a curse at Voldemort instead.

“NO!” Voldemort screamed, immediately throwing a Killing Curse in my direction instead.

Draco jumped in front of me but Snape sent a red curse forward and knocked Draco away, consequently deflecting the Killing Curse. Draco was thrown a few feet away and landed unconscious on the ground, his wounds worsening and his body motionless.

I seethed at the sight of Draco unconscious and wounded and reeled on Snape. Voldemort was tending to a wound from the unexpected curse that Draco had thrown him but Snape was right on top of me. I glared and raised my hand to throw Sectumsempra at him… but he didn’t give me the chance.

“Legilimens!” he cried out without warning or particular purpose. Instinctively I screamed Protego and blocked the spell.

And much like the last time this scene unfolded between Snape and I, I was thrust into a series of memories that belonged only to him… though I could not be prepared for what I saw.

I first saw him taking the hand of Narcissa Malfoy and agreeing to protect Draco no matter the consequences. Then it flashed to an image of him fighting with Dumbledore in his office, refusing to go through with the whole ordeal, proclaiming that he wanted nothing more than to die rather than kill Dumbledore.

The scene flashed past through months and showed me his meetings with Voldemort where he denied knowing where Draco was at all, denied any knowledge of his escape and knowing only that he wasn’t at Hogwarts or at Malfoy Manor.

It jumped again to Snape inside that broken down house in that tiny muggle town, drugging and binding Wormtail, throwing him into that room and casting a protective spell around the place in wait. Another image showed him casting the Dark Mark over the house after we had gone…

I saw him standing, disguised, inside Gringott’s and watching as Draco and I rushed through the crowd to find Ron and Hermione with our information about the bloodlines… and then sending the warning message to the Daily Prophet, mentioning only Draco’s name and offering only… a warning…

I saw him stun Kingsley and modify his memory, taking him to the Orphanage and casting protective spells around him to keep him safe but to alert those looking for him. I saw Kingsley call out to him as he left but Snape did not turn back and Shacklebolt fainted.

It flashed to the night at the Orphanage as he noted that Alecto Carrow was not who she seemed but said nothing… while he acted on every possible option he had to continue to protect Draco. And refused to would me badly… then finally to our arrival in the Deathly Hallows.

He was the one who cast the spell to kill Dolohov. He was the one who shielded me from Voldemort’s attack and he was the one who knocked Bellatrix into the tree to protect Draco and give him a fighting chance…

He was helping us all along… he was…. he wasn’t just an evil murderer…

Dumbledore-…. Dumbledore was right….

He was right… and asked to die…

I was thrown back into myself after the assault on my mind and stared, gaping and wide-eyed at Snape who did nothing but nod to me.

“Kill him, Severus!” Voldemort cried out, his hands down from his face now and he held his wand at his side. Snape did not betray any thought or emotion but raised his wand to me.

I didn’t have a moment to act before he whipped around and flung a spell at Voldemort instead, standing in front of me and shielding both Draco and I from any attacks.

“TRAITOR!” Voldemort screeched, blocking the Killing curse that Snape had thrown him and shot some of his own.

The flashes of light converged and rebounded off one another in mid-air, dying on the ground or in the sky when they did not meet a person. Snape shielded me and continued to fight his false master.

“You really did take an Unbreakable Vow!” I cried out, still unable to comprehend the whole matter.

“Of course I did, you bloody nitwit!” Snape shot back angrily. “I was not about to expose myself as a spy! But thanks to you, Potter, I’ve been going mad trying to help you without getting caught! Why couldn’t you just accept Draco back at school? Why couldn’t you just offer him help and make my bloody life easier! I had better things to do than run around after two stubborn teenaged boys! Arrogant like your bloody father, Potter!”

“Why didn’t you tell us!?” I shrieked, trying to dismiss the comment about my father.

“Are you really that daft, Potter? TRULY that stupid?” he screamed, making my blood boil with anger. “Who would be here to cover your idiocy were it not for me and my maintaining my secrecy? No wonder it took you this bloody long to get here!”

“AVADA KEDAVRA!” Voldemort screamed out into the chaotic night in rage and loathing and cast the spell around Snape to hit Draco. The attack would have killed Draco instantly, but the power of the Unbreakable Vow urged Snape forward and he thrust himself in the path of the curse, taking the Killing Curse in the chest.

“SNAPE!” I bellowed, reaching out, despite myself.

His eyes went bright with the green reflection for a moment and he reached out to grab onto my robes but missed and fell backwards onto the ground, lifeless and limp. His eyes were empty and the silver spirit burst from his chest violently and soared out into the night before dissolving with the rest of them.

I was heaving sobs, as more and more people fell around me. I had never given him a chance. Draco had been right all along and I had never believed it… Dumbledore was right and I rejected it… I wouldn’t listen.

And no matter how much of an arse he was to me, now Snape was dead and had died for both Draco and I. He was gone… just like Sirius… just like Neville… just like Dumbledore.

I spun on Voldemort, pure loathing in my eyes and I felt my own gaze burn green at the sight of the mangled excuse for a dark lord before me. He cackled into the night and bowed deeply to me.

“There is no defeating me, Harry!” he shrieked. I threw caution to the wind and started throwing hex and curse and all kinds of blood and soul magic that I could think of. I longed and itched to cast the Avada Kedavra spell at him, to give him a taste of his own poison but I couldn’t. Dumbledore had told me not to and for once I was going to listen to him.

I needed to find another way. I needed to feel it… to call it to me and find another way to defeat him…

“These games begin to bore me, boy,” Voldemort shot back, deflecting my curses and throwing some of his own, forcing me to tumble and roll, squirming to avoid them.

“Then give up!” I cried back, throwing more and more curses. Voldemort blocked my curse but another flash of light ripped through the air like lightning in a storm and hit him in the neck, sending a jolt through his body and inducing violent convulsions.

Blood spilled from his mouth and he spun around to find the source of the double attack. He looked like a predator who had been interrupted in the middle of its kill, with the blood streaming down his chin and staining his sharpened fangs.

Remus stood, partly hunched from a wound to his stomach, holding his wand directly at Voldemort. His eyes were determined and yet still held that secret longing that I couldn’t identify before. My eyes jumped briefly to Draco, who was still lying on the ground, though he began to stir. Around us everyone was still fighting. There were more Death-Eaters than Order members, but the numbers were dwindling painfully on each side.

“Werewolf,” Voldemort spat, sending bits of blood flying from his mouth. Remus raised his wand again to send another curse but Voldemort was too fast. “Avada Kedavra!”

The green split the air again and wound its way directly into Remus’ wound. His body was thrown back, stalk straight momentarily as I watched another one of my mentors die before my very eyes. But his eyes were more happy than frightened.

“Sirius,” was the soft whisper that formed on his lips as he collapsed to the ground with a thud.

“NO!”I screamed, but someone else was screaming with me.

“REMUS, NO!” Tonks’ voice shattered the air. But it was far too late.

Remus’ silver spirit rose calmly from his body, but maintained his image for a moment or two. Then, before I could even register what I saw, Sirius’ spirit materialized briefly with open arms to him and they both disappeared into the darkness.

Everything went silent in my head and my ears. I couldn’t hear the screams and the pleas that Tonks made to the lifeless body of the man she loved. I couldn’t hear Voldemort’s cackling as he raised his wand to Tonks as well. I couldn’t hear a thing… not even the erratic beating of my heart against my chest, as though the whole of me was otherwise hollow. I couldn’t hear my ragged breathing as I let the tears flow freely from my eyes and wet my face and neck.

All I heard was the incantation repeated in my head. Again and again and again. The same three words on and on, telling me exactly what I needed to know. Exactly how I needed to do this…

And now was the time.

“This is the end, Harry,” Voldemort hissed, livid. “Goodbye, Chosen One.”

I didn’t hear his words but saw his lips move. I saw him begin to form the words “Avada Kedavra” but raised my wand and waved my arm in a large circle before casting the spell forward. Even as the words escaped my mouth, I didn’t understand them or know where they came from… I had no clue but I knew it was right.

“VOCARO CARITAS ANIMA!” I bellowed powerfully into the deathly air. My voice did not echo but the words called forth what I needed.

The burst of light from my wand was in two pieces. Two ribbons of light emerged, one gold and one silver, streaking forward and raising spirits from the air as it did. Before me and all around me a massive crowd of souls materialized.

The fog disappeared and turned into the shaped forms of the dead long gone. Neville’s form was there, standing brave next to his Gran. Remus and Sirius stood smirking next to one another and my parents stood just next to them, all four in front of me, almost blinding me from the brightness of their souls.

Dumbledore surged forth and stood alongside Barty Crouch Sr., Cedric Diggory and Charlie Weasley.

Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy stood before Draco, who was sitting up now, holding his stomach and gazing with wide and pained eyes upon his parents. The two elder Malfoys had hateful looks on their translucent faces as they gazed upon Voldemort now.

And then there was a very young boy… he looked only a year older than me but he was the spitting image of Sirius in his youth… Regulus Black.

They all stood as an army of fallen soldiers standing up to defend their loved ones and avenge themselves. My parents, Sirius and Remus glanced back at me with a smile before there was a thunderous roar from nowhere and all the souls surged forwards and pounded their way into Voldemort’s already weakened body.

He cried out into the night but his body could not withstand the intense possession of all the souls forcing their way into him. They tore his body into pieces.

He floated in mid-air, cracks spreading through his corpse just like on ice and glowing a brilliant white before there was a deafening explosion and he dissolved into nothing but dust that disappeared in the atmosphere.

My scar seared in pain and I screamed, doubling over and bringing a hand to my head, feeling fresh blood seeping from it as it pulsated, allowing all the bonds between Tom Riddle and I to be severed.

And then it was over. It was over and Voldemort was gone and I still couldn’t hear a word. But I wasn’t finished.

The marking in my forehead that Aberforth had placed on me was glowing but burning me. It called me to do something and it wasn’t just Apparate. The arrays on the foreheads of each member of the Order of the Phoenix shone brightly and, as though prompted once more by some unknown force, I lifted my wand into the air.

“Finite Incantatem,” I cried out finally, though it could have been nothing more than a whisper.

The Incantations around both the Death-Eaters and the Order broke and failed and I found myself hurtled back through space and Life and Death. The sensations that tore through me were more powerful this time. Instead of feeling as though my soul was being ripped from me, I felt as though I was going to explode from all the life and energy that tried to infuse itself into my body with the transition.

My screams were drowned out by the violent wind that blew around me and forced me back to the world of the Living, tearing the veils and making a passage where there was none.

I suddenly felt cold hard ground beneath me. I was lying crumpled up in a ball, my head aching and my body shaking like a leaf.

After a few minutes, I finally forced my head up and looked around. I was lying on the ground in the locked room at the Ministry of Magic.

And I was alone.

There was no one else around me. I started breathing heavily and panicked. Where were the others? Surely they were back. Surely they couldn’t have been caught in the Deathly Hallows…. Surely they weren’t all…

I shook my head vigorously, causing more aching pains to shoot through my spine and up into my skull. I rushed to my feet and blew open the door. Aberforth and Hagrid were gone… there was nothing there.

I ran out into the hall, the terror rising in my chest. Where were they? What had happened? Did they make it back?

Did Draco make it back? Was he alright?

I began sobbing and whimpering as I ran through the halls of the Department of Mysteries and tried not to think the worst. I tried not to think of the possibilities that he… that he wasn’t…

I stumbled forward and tripped over something. Trying to pick myself up from the ground, I realized that I had tripped over Ginny, who was clutching a broken leg and was sprawled on the ground.

“Harry!” she cried out, tears flooding her face and blood staining her clothes and skin.

“Ginny, are you alright?” I asked foolishly. I cast a ‘ferula’ spell on her leg to bind it with a splint and got her to her feet, feeling as though I was only running on adrenaline and fear now. “Ginny where is everyone else? Did they make it back?”

“I don’t know, Harry,” she said, her voice wavering and her eyes glassy with sadness. “I just appeared here. I didn’t mean to. This is just where I ended up. I think what Aberforth said about not being able to guarantee an accurate Apparition meant we could reappear anywhere.”

I stared at her in horror. That meant that Draco could be anywhere in the world… he could be in the middle of the Atlantic ocean for all I knew with the horrible wounds he had. He was hardly able to stand before… he could be anywhere…. I forced myself to breathe, fighting against the urge to scream and Ginny’s eyes overflowed with more tears.

“Harry, I’m sorry!” she rambled, clutching onto me. “He saved my life! Draco saved my life!” She was shaking and I couldn’t breathe. “He jumped in front of a cutting curse that Travers sent at me while I was busy with MacNair! He pushed me out of the way and got cut, that’s how he got hurt, Harry! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry… He was thrown to the ground by Bellatrix after that… Harry… Harry please…I’m sorry…”

I felt the misery overcome me and I rushed out of the Ministry with Ginny, looking everywhere I could for anyone I recognized. It was horrible… horrifying and worse than the fight against Voldemort at all.

We found Tonks huddled in the guest entrance to the Ministry. Bill Weasley was lying unconscious next to Fred and George back at Grimmauld Place.

Moody had appeared in Hogsmeade. Kingsley appeared at the gates of Hogwarts.

It took days and weeks to find some people. Ron had appeared in Ottery St. Catchpole, near his own home and, luckily, Mrs. Weasley had found him before any muggles did.

It… took us three and a half weeks to locate Hermione. She was lying unconscious in the house that Snape had abandoned with Wormtail. Apparently she had tried to heal herself but lost too much blood to do so and only managed to drink a potion she had brought with her to stop the bleeding before falling unconscious.

Mr. Weasley had appeared in muggle London and took four weeks to locate… He was stuck amidst the rubble and couldn’t use his wand. Muggles eventually lifted him out of there and some Ministry wizards managed to intercept him before he was sent to a muggle hospital.

Luna had appeared after only two weeks in the rubble of Diagon Alley. She had been stuck in the apothecary, blocked behind a wall of rocks.

Eventually, we found everyone mind you… everyone except…

I searched day and night for Draco… non stop. I didn’t sleep and I didn’t let them keep me in St. Mungo’s for more than five minutes.

I went all over England to all the places I could possibly imagine. It seemed that everyone had reappeared in an area that was known to us somehow… I checked everywhere. I checked everywhere in Hogsmeade, Grimmauld Place, Hogwarts, Diagon Alley, Knockturn Alley, I even went to Malfoy Manor to search the grounds with an extensive group of Aurors but nothing was found… there was…

No sign of him… anywhere….

“Harry… he might… not have made it…” Hermione whispered to me one night upon my return from a fruitless search. She had tears in her eyes and everyone around me looked grim.

I lashed out and left again. I wouldn’t accept it! I wouldn’t!

I just… couldn’t believe that he was dead… that he was gone and wouldn’t come back…I couldn’t believe it…

I fought with myself for hours while flying over every part of England that I could… searching high and low. I sent groups to France and to Bulgaria to search as well. All over Europe there were massive search parties that I dispatched to look for Draco…

I couldn’t come to terms with it…

I had never… I will never…

I love him so much…. I LOVE HIM!

I love him and I couldn’t accept the idea of having lost him…of never getting the chance to be with him without fear. To be with him and live happily. To know every in and out of Draco Malfoy and proclaim to the world that he was mine but, more importantly, I was his.

I was his… and his alone… I couldn’t be anyone else’s.

I… I wouldn’t let it go.

I searched for months and months… Three months… three long months with no rest and no attention to myself.

The wizarding world was celebrating and rejoicing and honoring my name… paying homage to the deeds I had done but paid no attention to Draco… who was still lost and still out there and I… I had to find him…

I couldn’t believe he was dead… not until I had a body… not until I’d expended every option I had… every place I could go…

I love him DAMMIT.

I LOVE HIM WHY DIDN’T THAT COUNT FOR ANYTHING? IT LET ME GET INTO THE DEATHLY HALLOWS BUT IT WASN’T STRONG ENOUGH TO BRING HIM BACK ALRIGHT?

My love just wasn’t strong enough?

… I wasn’t strong enough…

I love you, Draco…

I’ll never stop loving you…

-------IIIIII-------

A/N: Epilogue tomorrow.

I will explain everything in that. Please, don’t kill me.

HAVE FAITH.