All That You Leave Behind

We're Ba-a-a-a-a-a-ck!! And aren't you thrilled beyond belief?? LOL! We apologise for the extremely long absence; Q has been tussling with the added responsibilities of her new job (although I've been nagging her not to work so hard!) and myself, A, I've been enjoying quite a long respite with my children and grandchildren (yes, I'm a Granny!). We just haven't had much opportunity to connect much til now, but as Q is now on holiday for a bit, and my family has returned to their own homes, you, oh lucky readers, get the benefit of our (for the most part) undivided attention! YAY! Today's update is rather short, its what you call a sort of transitional chapter, short but (bitter)sweet, and very pivotal to the story. Never fear, however, because we'll be updating again the day after next, and it will be longer and angsty and....well, you'll see! Also, we'd like to extend a HUGE thanks to everyone who has stuck by us since we began penning this Epic, to everyone who has joined us since then, and especially to our faithful reviewers. You've encouraged us, defended us, and you're what keeps us writing, so reach round and give yourselves a big pat on the back, and then snuggle in, peruse the latest update, and don't forget to let us know what you think!


Chapter 77

Severus looked down into Harry's pleading eyes and felt an icy hand close round his heart. "What.....what do you mean, Harry?" he asked, his voice barely audible.



He saw the tears welling up in those emerald eyes before Harry lowered them once again, his voice so choked with the effort to speak that Severus barely understood him.



"I...I can't....lose them, Severus," Harry gasped, "They....they're all I have left. If...if Ginny.....Severus! How....how could I choose?! She's my wife! How can I do that to her....after what we've already done?!"



"Are you saying....you.....don't want our child?" Severus asked, his voice a hoarse whisper.



"No!" Harry groaned miserably, "but...are....are you saying you want me to let Ginny and James go?"



"No," Severus said faintly, "but neither am I saying I want you to deny our child its life."



Harry looked up at him with stricken eyes and whimpered, "I...I don't know what to do, Sev. I love you, you know I do, but I love Ginny too. I've already lost you.....I can't lose her too, but....I can't....I don't know what to do!"



Severus knelt down, bringing himself eye level with Harry, and looked longingly into the beloved green eyes, wishing more than anything to be able to take him in his arms and comfort him. He put his hand up to the invisible barrier that separated them, willing to die all over again if it meant being able to touch him one more time. "You have not lost me, Harry," he said quietly, "I will never leave you. Go lie down, Harry, try to sleep. I will be here when you wake."




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Two days later, Harry was once again on the floor in front of Severus' portrait, despondent over not having heard from Ginny. He missed her, he missed his son, and he still didn't know what to do. He didn't expect Ginny to forgive him, but she wouldn't even speak to him. When he'd floo-called the Burrow to try, he'd found the connection blocked from receiving his calls and feared the worst.



"I do not believe that Ginevra would take your son away from you forever, Harry," Severus said, trying to lend what little comfort he could. They had not spoken again about their child, or what Harry would do about it. "Nor do I believe that she intends to never speak to you again. She is angry and hurt..."



"Can you blame her?!" Harry burst forth "her lying, cheating, fuck of a husband went and got himself up the duff by another man! What woman alive wouldn't be hurt and angry?!"



Severus didn't have an answer for that, and leaned against his frame with a sigh. For the first time, words failed him as far as telling Harry what to do or giving him any useful advice. He did not wish all this anguish on his beloved boy, but all Severus could think about right now was the fate of their child. "I do not think she will keep your son from his father," he repeated lamely.



Harry didn't answer, just heaved a huge sigh and let his head drop forward until it was leaning against the frame of Severus' portrait. Severus knelt as closely as he could to the invisible barrier that separated them, reaching out and stroking his fingers against it, the action soothing him, even though he knew Harry couldn't feel it.



Harry fought to keep his tears in. He knew what Severus was doing above his head and he wished hopelessly for the actual touch, the craving gnawing at his insides. He turned his head and rubbed his cheek against the unseen barrier that kept the man he loved forevermore untouchable He let himself fall into the moment, closing his eyes and conjuring up memories of Severus holding him, stroking those long and sensuous fingers through his messy mane over and over, comforting them both.



He could almost feel the touch, he'd almost forgotten about Ginny for a moment, could feel a calmness begin to steal over him. He gave into it, the same time he gave into his tears and grief and let them seep from under his closed eyelids, until he was jolted from his reverie by Severus speaking above him.



"Ginevra."



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Don't hate us for the cliffie! It had to be done!