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Bonds of Affection	By : emilywaters Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 101815 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Author's Note:

So this was an unusual story for me to write. This is my first Snarry.

It turned out to be my longest story, my most reviewed story (thank you my dear readers!), and my most complicated story. Which is kind of ironic, cuz when I sat down to write this story, I wanted to write a 20 chapter Snarry PWP. Then, on an impulse, I added a mystery ingredient to the slave-potion. Then it all spiraled out of control, because now there had to be a plot.

But still, there was no Character Death warning on the story, and there was nothing to be concerned about, really. I mean, come on. : ) .. all they had to do was survive being (1) buried alive, (2) whipped to the point of death, (3) punished by Voldemort's slave-bond, (4) struck by the Killing Curse, (5) dumped into Fiendfyre ... piece of cake, right? Oh yeah, then there was that soul-wiping ingredient. Sigh.

I was going to have 3 more chapters to the story, but decided that it would prolong the story needlessly, not contribute to the story much, and break the mood of the story.

.

Nonetheless, if you are curious what those chapters would have been, they are attached here, kind of like �Deleted Scenes�. They were meant to be inserted after �Return to the Chamber of Secrets� and before the Epilogue.

So here... the chapters would have been:

1.The Golden Year

2.Fragment

3.Deconstruction of Dark Objects

And here they are:

Deleted Chapter: The Golden Year

Takes place right after �Return to the Chamber of Secrets�

The rest of the summer flew by quickly.

Harry's seventeenth birthday was celebrated at Three Broomsticks with a great crowd of friends. To Harry's immense relief, nobody apart from Ron and Hermione knew the saga of the �enslavement potion� - and Draco, who was apparently shaken up by the events of the summer, was keeping his mouth shut about absolutely everything. Then again, Harry figured � with a few Death Eaters still on the loose, Draco was probably not too keen on it being widely known that he had caused the downfall of the Dark Lord by saving Harry-bloody-Potter's life.

September came, and when Harry boarded the train to Hogwarts, Hermione and Ron were waiting for him. Severus saw him off with a curt nod and walked away.

�Why didn't you just Floo in?� Hermione asked. �You don't have that much stuff � and...�

�But I love the train,� Harry said blissfully. �And you know, sentimental reasons � I've never had a family member see me off to school before. I thought it was .... sweet.�

�Snape being sweet,� Ron muttered incredulously. �Am I the only one who thinks it's totally creepy?�

�Yes, what about Se- Snape?� Hermione asked. �I would have thought he'd be in Hogwarts by now.�

Harry smiled slightly. �You would think so, but no.�

Hermione's eyes opened wide in shock. �He's not coming back this year?� she guessed. �Because of you... your relationship... yes?�

�Kind of,� Harry said. �But not just that. He said he's sick of teaching potions, he's taking a full year's sabbatical, and the only way he'll ever come back if he gets a DADA instructor position. Otherwise...�

�Oh my,� Hermione murmured. �That's truly wicked... that didn't leave Dumbledore much time to look for a new Potions Master for the year... how much of a notice did Snape give him?�

Harry shrugged. �Well, I think he'll be placing the firecall tonight � so I'm guessing ... twelve hours?�

Ron gaped. �That's just evil... and how long have you known?�

�A few weeks,� Harry admitted with a smirk.

�And you didn't warn Dumbledore?�

�Nope,� Harry said with satisfaction.

�Why not?� Hermione demanded. �That's.. plain mean! Harry!�

Harry laughed a little. �You know, Hermione, for the past six years, I've been telling Dumbledore that Severus Snape is evil, and not to be trusted. But every year, Dumbledore would give me the same response, oh, no, Harry, I trust Professor Snape implicitly, that's a private matter between Professor Snape and myself, and you don't need to be concerned about that! So... fine! Let him sort this out himself then.�

Harry pressed his forehead to the window and watched the scenery fly before his eyes, as the train started moving, taking him to school.

Severus Snape had more than a few reasons to want a sabbatical.

He had explained to Harry:

�Harry � the truth is, I want to do it because I want your peers to be able to call me by my first name when they visit you. I want to do it because I want to personally tutor you in any areas where you might need assistance, without there being any conflict of interest- so that you can ace your N.E.W.T.S � and choose any career path you want. And � after over a decade of teaching potions, I think my duty to Hogwarts in that regard is complete, don't you?�

�But I thought you liked teaching potions,� Harry mumbled in confusion.

�Think again,� Severus said contemptuously. �Stuck in the dungeons for hours each day, grease splashing into my hair... surrounded by arrogant Ravenclaw brats who think they can brew anything they want, stubborn Hufflepuff brats, who continue to stir even when it is blindingly clear that the formula had been botched, over-anxious Slytherin brats, who scream bloody murder whenever something bubbles the wrong way... but worst of all, stupid Gryffindor brats, who don't even flinch when something is about to explode int their faces. Teach potions again? I think not.�

Harry laughed a little at that. �So what will you do?�

Severus rolled his eyes. �Believe me, I have ways of occupying my time. I have some independent research I want to do ... and I have been asked to assist in tying up some loose ends with regards to end-of-war aftermath...�

Over the year, Severus became involved in uncovering and taking apart old Voldemort's compounds � all of them. They uncovered various Dark Magic artifacts, some hexed objects, and some banned literature � but other than that, the missions had been 'routine', Severus had said, but without disappointment.

The year went by fast. Every weekend � every Saturday afternoon, after Quidditch practice, Harry Floo'd back to the Manor, where Severus was waiting for him, without fail. His face had acquired a light golden tan from the time he spent on the roads, and his raven-black hair grew longer than ever. Harry found himself breathless, and at loss for words when he looked at Severus with adoration.

�You are so beautiful,� Harry whispered in his ear every Saturday night as they went to sleep together. �I can't wait to graduate and stay with you.� Severus held him tightly, pressing lips to his forehead.

Harry aced the exams, did extremely well on the N.E.W.T.S., and selected the career path of his choice: he wanted to be a Care of Magical Creatures instructor. Severus rolled his eyes � but seeing the serious expression on Harry's face, nodded slightly, and assisted him with with enrolling in an apprenticeship program.

The following year, the DADA instructor post was still unavailable at Hogwarts, and Severus, true to his word, declared that he would not return. Harry just smirked under his breath � Dumbledore might be the most powerful wizard in the whole world, but Severus was definitely the most obstinate one.

They got married in September, five weeks after Harry's eighteenth birthday, in a small ceremony that had no-one present but Hermione, Ron, Dubmledore and McGonagall. When they returned home afterwards, Harry looked at Severus with renewed wonder and whispered: �You know ... it just dawned on me. We really made it. We are living happily ever after...�

Severus nodded with a smile. �Surprised?�

�Very,� Harry admitted. �Although, in retrospect, I shouldn't be... you know, I just finally figured it out. We've never been in any real danger. Neither me, nor you.�

�Oh?� Severus asked sardonically. �Could have fooled me.�

�No, seriously,� Harry said impishly, stripping off his clothing, and nudging Severus to do the same. �Remember how no word of prophecy is random, or accidental?�

�Of course,� Severus said. �And your point is?�

�Remember what Trelawney called me? Traitor's groom? She wouldn't have, unless there was a wedding in the future...�

�Hmm,� Severus murmured, climbing into bed. �Perhaps you are correct.�

�I know I am,� Harry smirked. �But serves us right, you know... not trusting the word of a deranged, discredited, alcoholic fortune-teller.. honestly, what were we thinking?�

Deleted Chapter: Fragment

The fall was upon them, and the smell of dried grass and faded leaves filled the air.

In the evening of October 31st, Harry was sitting in the living room, looking through the window absently, watching the last leaves fall from the trees, leaving the branches bare. A carpet of fallen leaves already covered the ground and Severus saw a nostalgic smile on Harry's face.

Severus looked at Harry with trepidation, dreading what he was about to do � but resolved to do it just the same. A year of searches through Voldemort's compounds and hideouts, a year of Herbology research, a year of clinical trials... the results of this year were all collected in one glass, the glass of clear fluid that Severus was holding in his hand.

Standing behind Harry, Severus placed his hand on Harry's shoulder. Instantly, Harry turned his head and pressed a kiss against his fingers.

�I love you,� Harry said quietly.

�I know,� Severus said gently. �Do you trust me?�

Harry tensed slightly at the question, but nodded quickly. �I don't always agree with you, Severus, but I do trust you. I trust that you would never want to cause me harm. Why?�

�There's something I want you to drink,� Severus said calmly. �I don't want you to ask questions... I just want you to do it. Simply based on your trust. Nothing else.�

Harry looked at him. �You make it sound so... ominous. What is it?�

�It's nothing that will harm you, Harry,� Severus said firmly. �I've ran over five thousand clinical trials, and have tested it on myself as well. It is nothing to be concerned about; but I do believe it will.. improve your quality of life in the long run.�

Harry nodded absently, extended his hand and Severus handed him the glass. Harry drained it in one quick gulp and returned it to him.

�Thank you, Harry,� Severus said softly.

�What was it?� Harry asked.

�Harry ... let's sit down and talk for a bit. I am going to do my best and explain.�

Harry looked at him questioningly, but nodded.

Severus pulled up a chair and sat across from him, facing him.

�You see, Harry, just over a year ago, I realized that Voldemort had been wrong all along. He was wrong about the nature of the Horcruxes, about what it means to create one.�

�Go on,� Harry said. His voice sounded a bit strained.

�Remember the words Trelawney used to describe Voldemort's Horcruxes? Seven times born?�

�Yes,� Harry said instantly. �And...?�

�And,� Severus continued patiently, �You see, Voldemort was wrong. When he came up with his Wailing Willow Bark plan, he was proceeding on the assumption that the fragment of the soul in the Horcrux is the same age as him � sixty or sixty five years old... However, that is not the case. In fact, each time a Horcrux is created, the fragment of the soul that goes into it, is born anew.�

�I see,� Harry whispered. �And...�

�There's a part of you that is about to turn seventeen tonight,� Severus said quietly. �The fragment of my soul that was placed in you on that night in Godric's Hollow. The night your parents were murdered.�

Harry's eyes opened wide and fixed on Severus. �I see,� Harry said. �So what you gave me to drink...�

Severus nodded slightly. �Wailing Willow Bark extract. Don't be concerned, Harry � I have spent the year researching it, and running clinical trials. You are over seventeen, and it is absolutely harmless to you personally. The only thing that it will destroy is the fragment of my own soul inside you.�

Harry looked at him with a bitter smile. �I see.� The smile lingered on his lips briefly, and then disappeared. His face became completely expressionless. Severus was watching him with concern.

�Well,� Harry said finally with resignation in his voice. �Do you mind telling me... why you wouldn't just ... ask me openly?�

�Would you have drank it if I had?� Severus asked.

�No,� Harry admitted. �Not in a million years.� He stood up and walked over to the window, pressing his forehead against the glass.

Severus came up to him, and took his shoulders in his hands. �Do you have any questions for me?�

�Yeah,� Harry whispered. �Why?�

�Many reasons, Harry,�Severus said softly. �The most important one is that I don't want there to be a connection between us that is unnatural, based on a Dark Magic curse... a connection that was created by the murder of your father.�

Harry laughed bitterly. �Honestly, Severus, I don't think my father minds at this point.�

�Perhaps not,� Severus conceded. �But I do.�

�I thought you liked being my Master and owning me,� Harry said. �I thought you liked me submitting to you.�

�I did. I do.� Severus confirmed. �Harry � I can't deny that. I have never experienced so much beauty... So much warmth... I had never thought it possible. But we both know that underneath the beauty and bliss, there is a curse. Horcruxes are cursed objects, and the Dark Magic curse is tainting your life. You know this as well as I do, you've said as much yourself. And as much as I want you to keep loving me, and keep submitting to me ... there is just one thing I want more... it is for you to live your life free from that curse, free to be what you were always meant to be � not what I have turned you into.�

Harry's face betrayed no expression. �So... what do you think will happen now?� he asked.

�Well,� Severus said calmly. �I believe that once the fragment of my soul within you is destroyed, your need to be ... owned, to submit to me will disappear. I believe the imprint will be destroyed as well. Beyond that, it is difficult to tell. Perhaps you will wake up tomorrow morning in the arms of the man whose touch means nothing to you, and whose smell is repulsive to you. Or perhaps, some attraction will still remain � but it will be just a regular, human attraction, not caused by means of Dark Magic.�

�I see,� Harry said in a barely audible voice. �No more... intensity... no more .. ownership.... Severus, has it ever occurred to you that I didn't mind being your Horcrux? That I liked having a piece of your soul in me? That something like this should have been my choice?�

�Of course it has,� Severus said impatiently. �But Harry... To be honest, you are in no condition to make this choice ... your .... pull towards me is clouding your judgment.�

Harry shook his head and stared ahead, without meeting his eyes. �I see,� he said again. �So.. what do you want me to do after this? To move out, and ... leave you alone? Or what?�

�We should re-evaluate tomorrow. See how you feel,� Severus suggested. �Your feelings might vanish - but if they do, I don't think you will feel any loss. Perhaps, as the fragment of my soul inside you dies, you will simply snap out from a daze and walk away, happy that you haven't wasted much more than a year of your life.�

�Is that how you expect to feel, too?� Harry snapped.

�No,� Severus said flatly. �I don't love the fragment of my soul inside you. It is you that I love. Whatever your feelings might be tomorrow, mine will remain unchanged. That much I am certain of.�

Harry continued standing in front of the window, looking ahead. Severus stroked his hair with gentleness, feeling him stiffen under his touch. To Severus' surprise, Harry took the revelation extremely well. He half-expected a tantrum, or a fight � but Harry was... calm. Shockingly so. Severus did not know why, but he was grateful for that. Perhaps Harry had come to the same conclusions, he thought, but did not have the heart to voice them due to the strength of his pull towards Severus.

�It's late,� Severus said tiredly. �Shall we go to bed?�

Harry shivered slightly. �Not tonight,� he said. �Tonight, I'll sleep alone, I think�

�As you wish,� Severus agreed peacefully.

He moved to walk away, but Harry grabbed his hand and held it.

�Tomorrow, though,� Harry said softly. �And every night, after that. If you'll still want me. I promise.�

Deleted Chapter: Deconstruction of Dark Objects

On the first day of November, Harry woke up early. He got dressed, and departed to the Burrow, without waking Severus, or leaving him a note.

Hermione and Ron were waiting for Harry, of course. The three of them went to sit down by the little pond outside of the Burrow. Hermione was tossing pieces of bread into the water, and small ducks were snatching them with sharp cries.

�My kindred spirits,� Harry said unhappily, watching the birds eat.

Ron snorted derisively.

�You know that story where the duckling grows up to be a swan?� Hermione murmured. �You've grown to be a Hungarian Horntail.�

Harry collapsed on the ground face down, pressing his cheek to the frost-covered carpet of leaves.

�I am scared,� he whispered tiredly.

Ron patted his back. �Don't be,� he said. �We are right behind you.�

�Speaking of the devil,� Hermione murmured, looking into the distance thoughtfully. �Look who is here. He found you.�

�I knew he would,� Harry said weakly. �He always does.� He lifted himself on his elbow and watched, as Severus Snape walked towards them.

�We'll leave you to it,� Ron told him. �But we'll be nearby. Just holler if something goes wrong.�

�Okay,� Harry said anxiously. �Okay.�

Ron and Hermione walked away, and sat on the porch of the Burrow. Harry sat up on the grass waited as Severus closed the distance between them and towered over him.

�How are you?� Severus asked gently.

�Scared,� Harry said honestly. �Severus, I am really scared.�

Severus looked at him thoughtfully, and then sat down on the on the cold ground next to him. �What are you scared of?� he asked.

�I am scared that you don't really want me. That you got tired of me, of what I wanted, of me asking too much, or pushing too much. That this is your way of sending me away.� Harry buried his face in his knees.

Severus wrapped his arms around his shoulders. �Silly boy,� he whispered with sadness and amusement at once. �Do you really think that someone could only love you if you are their Horcrux?�

�It's not that,� Harry whispered. �It's that... you were always so scared, so worried whenever I wanted to submit to you. Like there was something wrong with me for wanting to do so.�

�Well,� Severus whispered in his hear. �That's just not the case. You part in this connection has always been pure, and beautiful. The only part that has been tainted, was mine.�

Harry lowered his eyes and sniffled slightly. He bowed his head and stared at the withered grass under his feet, covered in frost.

�Really? Do you... want me.. to...continue to submit to you? Really?�

�Yes,� Severus said firmly. �I am surprised you still feel this way, but I am also relieved that you do. I want you to be mine.�

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. �You aren't just... saying it out of pity or...�

Severus snorted. �I am a Slytherin, Harry. I have no pity.�

�Right,� Harry laughed. �Silly me.�

Severs stroked his hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Harry trembled in his embrace, but did not dare to look at him.

�You are not angry with me?� Severus asked finally. �For making you do something like that without explaining, or without a warning?�

�Angry?� Harry whispered. �No, Severus.... not in the least. You are a Slytherin... I don't expect you to follow the same code of honor as the rest of us... When I married you, I had resigned myself to the fact that ... well.. I'd just have to be on my guard, and stay one step ahead of you at all times.�

Severus grabbed Harry's shoulder painfully and forced him face him.

�One step ahead?� he asked dangerously.

Harry forced out a smile. �Aren't you forgetting something? We had the same mentor, you know.�

Severus stared at him speechlessly.

�I'm afraid.... I pulled a Dumbledore on you,� Harry whispered quietly. �I ... well... I knew what you were going to do... I mean... the year of independent research.... quietly brewing stuff in your lab... the year of missions, searching Voldemort's old compounds... So... um... I kind of... broke into your stores, and switched your... concoction to the scented, but neutral potion-base....� Harry stammered as he finished the sentence.

�You did what?�

�You heard me,� Harry said defiantly. �I'm still your Horcrux, and I'll always be. And don't bloody act like it's the end of the world.�

They sat quietly together for a while. Harry was biting his lip stubbornly, refusing to break the silence that hung between them.

Severus spoke up finally. �Harry, I truly do not understand why...�

Harry cast him a pitying, almost disdainful glance. �You only don't understand because you are an idiot.�

�I beg your pardon?� Severus uttered slowly, apparently taken aback.

�Severus,� Harry said tiredly. �What is there to understand? That I don't mind being cursed, if it means that I can be owned by you? That I don't want to stop needing you? That I don't want to kill the best part of myself? Or that I don't want you to die before I do?�

Severus was shaking his head. �And here I thought, I could set you free from my darkness, once and for all,� he murmured..

Harry glanced at him unsympathetically. �Well, it's like Dumbledore said... many good people have darkness about them that will astound the rest of the world. So you are a former Death Eater, a Dark Wizard, you have a dungeon, and you have a Horcrux. Deal with it.�

Severus appeared to be at loss for words once more. A shadow of sadness crossed his shallow face briefly, and then vanished, leaving him looking calm and impassive again.

�Ah well,� Severus said at last with a soft chuckle of resignation. �A year of research goes down the drain. Just out of curiosity, Harry, you really guessed my intentions all by yourself?�

Harry shook his head mutely. On his own, he wouldn't have, he thought, not in a million years. But Ron, an excellent chess player, had guessed what Severus intended to do; and Hermione, the most brilliant witch her age, had instantly guessed the means.

�Your friends are really something,� Severus smirked. �Helping you maintain this ... unorthodox relationship just the way it is.�

�What are true friends for, if not helping you remain a Dark Object, if that's what makes you happy,� Harry said lightheartedly.

Severus took Harry's hands in his and asked him, more seriously now: �Won't you regret it? Ten years from now, twenty years from now? Being a Dark Object is not without a price, Harry. Remember how you said that death stalks whoever is around you, because you are a Horcrux? There is some truth to that. Some people believe that Horcruxes preserve the Master's immortality by reducing the chances of survival of those who touch them. Remember Tom Riddle's diary, Marvolo Gaunt's ring, the Cup..�

Harry nodded, remembering. Ginny's brush with death, Remus, Fred, Dumbledore himself.. and he remembered others close to him who had died: Cedric, and Sirius...

�Well, for what it's worth,� Harry said, �I don't think that's the case with me. I don't think that people die because they are close to me. I think... I am just drawn to people who are more likely to die, that's all. You know... people who are brave, loyal, people who are ready to take risks, people who are willing to fight for what's right.�

Severus eyed the forms of Ron and Hermione, seated at the doorstep of the Burrow. Hermione caught him looking and waved to him cheerfully.

�People like them,� Severus said softly.

Harry smiled. �Yes. People like you.�

Ok, honeslty, folks, that's it !

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Bonds of Affection