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Lost and Damned	By : danniperson Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 24087 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the characters or the world or anything, and I make absolutely no profit from this.

Chapter List
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LOST AND DAMNED

Time to Escape the Clutches of a Name

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"I want to go and see Xenophilius Lovegood."

Harry looked up in surprise at Hermione who stood in the entrance of the dining room. Kreacher had just served dinner and Harry was busily shoving away food into his mouth. He hadn't concerned himself much with Hermione's whereabouts. Her nose was always buried in a book these days, rereading the same tomes for the fourth of fifth time, as though she had missed something the first few read-throughs. She was clutching a book in her arms, unsurprisingly. Harry raised his eyebrows and eyed the book, wishing he could see the title through her arms to figure out why in the world she thought visiting Xenophilius Lovegood was a good idea.

"Sorry?"

"Xenophilius Lovegood. Luna's father. We should go talk to him."

"Er—Why?"

Hermione took a deep breath, as though bracing herself, and said, "It's the mark, the mark in Beedle the Bard. Look at this!"

The book was, apparently, The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore. Harry glared at the book as she placed it next to his plate on the table. She began flipping through it while Harry glared away in agitation. He wanted nothing more to do with that book! On their third trip to Godric's Hollow they had stumbled upon the book laying in the street. The pages were wet, stained, and sticking together while the cover looked scratched and burned, as did some of the corners of the pages. They figured whoever it belonged to had not been happy with what was written, as proved by angry notes scribbled in the margins. Most of the material was still readable, though, and Harry wished they hadn't been. That book had only proved that the man he had looked up to and respected wasn't quite the man Harry thought he was.

"Look. Look at the signature," Hermione said, jabbing her finger at a letter Dumbledore had written Grindelwald.

Harry obeyed. For a moment he had no idea what she wanted him to see, but looking more closely he saw that Dumbledore had signed the A of Albus with a tiny version of the same triangular symbol that had been doodled on The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Harry's eyes grew wide and he gritted his teeth, recalling a mention of the symbol being Grindelwald's mark at the wedding. They had been stopped by Viktor for a little chit-chat before the ceremony had started, the Bulgarian pointing out the symbol being worn by Mr. Lovegood. This news only cemented further Harry's dark thoughts about the so-called great wizard.

"It keeps cropping up, doesn't it?" she said. "I know Viktor said it was Grindelwald's mark, but it was definitely on that old grave in Godric's Hollow, and the dates on the headstone were long before Grindelwald came along! And now this! Well, we can't ask Dumbledore or Grindelwald what it means—I don't even know whether Grindelwald is still alive—but we can ask Mr. Lovegood. He was wearing the symbol at the wedding. I'm sure this is important, Harry!"

Harry didn't answer immediately. He looked into her intense face and then down at his forgotten food. His hunger was gone now, though he took out some of his renewed irritation with Dumbledore out on the chicken Kreacher had worked so hard on. "Hermione, we don't need another Godric's Hollow. We talked ourselves into going there, and—"

"But it keeps appearing, Harry! Dumbledore left me The Tales, how do you know we're not supposed to find out about the sign?"

"Here we go again!" Harry snapped in exasperation. "We keep trying to convince ourselves that Dumbledore left us secret signs and clues, but it's done us nothing!"

"Please, Harry!" Hermione pleaded, closing the book and pulling it into her lap as she sat in the chair beside Harry. "We're getting nowhere! We haven't found anything else since the sword!"

She was right on that count. It had been at least a month since Severus had brought him the sword. A month since that little visit with Sirius and Remus. A month since they had gotten anything done. They were searching blindly now, having searched through almost every idea they had and then some. They read through the same books, half-heartedly walked around various wizarding villages under the guise of Polyjuice, glamours, and the Invisibility Cloak, kept slightly steady communication with Severus and Harry's godfather, and listened in on Potterwatch (which Sirius had introduced him to on their visit). They were keeping themselves busy, but they had gotten nothing from it in so long that that hopeless feeling was eating away at that success over having destroyed the locket.

"I don't want to go to Mr. Lovegood…Not until we try something else first," Harry said.

"What else is there?" Hermione asked impatiently.

"We can ask Severus if he knows what it is," Harry said.

"Well…I guess it wouldn't hurt to try asking him," Hermione said thoughtfully, pulling a plate of food towards herself.

Hours later Hermione and Harry lay curled up in the bed they normally shared (now and then only Harry stayed there when they were mad at each other or Hermione needed her own space) since they felt safer with someone else nearby. The magical two-way mirror was resting in the middle of the bed. Harry was playing with the Snitch Dumbledore had left him, now and then pressing his lips to the side to watch the words appear. I open at the close. He contemplated the words until he thought he would go crazy and tossed it up and down. Hermione had Rita Skeeter's book with her to show the symbol to Severus, the page bookmarked as she read the entire book a second time.

"Harry?"

Severus's voice was quiet, dull, and exhausted. That was about how he sounded every time Harry had talked to him since they had last seen each other. It didn't stop Harry from worrying. He sat up quickly and yanked the mirror into his lap, smiling sadly at the face of his lover. "Alright, Sev?"

Severus sighed heavily and rolled his eyes at the nickname, though he gave no other response to it. "Not particularly, no."

Hermione sat up with interest and began flipping pages back to the letter where she had marked the page. Harry shot her a look, warning her to be patient before looking back down into the mirror. "What happened?"

"Nothing new," Severus said. "I can't talk long."

He never could these days. There was a lot going on at Hogwarts, sometimes Harry had a feeling it was more than Severus was telling him. Severus made cryptic remarks about how awful the Carrows were, refusing to give out any details. The last time Harry had in a panic demanded more answers, Severus had snapped at him and refused to speak to him for days. Now Harry did his best to reel in his curiosity and fear, hoping that Severus would indeed tell him if something very bad had happened, particularly to someone he knew and cared about.

"That's fine. Hermione?" Harry said, motioning for her to come closer.

"Miss Granger?" Severus asked, confused. Hermione scooted closer as Harry held the mirror between them.

"Hello, Professor," Hermione said with a smile. "I came across something in a book earlier, and we were wondering if you might know anything about it."

"Well, what is it, then?" Severus asked impatiently.

"Here, it's this symbol," Hermione said, shifting the book and holding it up to the mirror, moving it around until she was confident the signature was clear to Severus and close enough for him to get a good sight of it. "It's his signature. The A. We've seen that symbol many times lately and we thought it might mean something."

"Do you know what it is? Cause if not she's going to try to drag me to Lovegood's house," Harry said blandly. Hermione shot him a glare as Severus's eyes flashed dangerously.

"I can understand unnecessarily risking your lives hunting these Horcruxes. But to risk your lives for silly curiosity?" Severus growled, glaring distastefully at the signature, since he couldn't see the faces of either Harry or Hermione.

"We're not risking our lives," Hermione said stiffly. "And it's not unnecessarily and not about my curiosity! I really think this could mean something."

"Do you know what it is?" Harry asked.

"It does look familiar," Severus muttered. He continued to mumble to himself for a few seconds and Harry and Hermione shot each other questioning looks. Unsure if she should lower the book or not, Hermione continued to hold the book where Severus could see it, though her arms had a difficult time staying still in that position and the book swayed a great deal. "Oh, yes," Severus finally said after a while, his tone displeased.

"Well?" Harry said.

Severus sighed heavily. "It's the blasted symbol of the Deathly Hallows. No wonder you thought to seek out the Lovegoods."

Hermione lowered the book and glared down at Severus, clearly not liking his tone about the Lovegood family. Harry had to smirk. Hermione, while she respected Luna more these days, still thought her a bit barmy. From what little they had seen of her father at the wedding, they agreed that he wasn't all that normal, either.

"What are the Deathly Hallows?" Hermione asked.

"They are…objects…that are rumored to exist," he replied dryly. "A cloak, a stone, and a wand that would make one 'master of death.' There are a great number of Hallows enthusiasts in the world, such as Xenophilius Lovegood. People are obsessed and will spend their lives looking for these objects or studying their history."

"A cloak, a stone, and a wand?" Harry questioned.

"Yes," he said impatiently. "Haven't either of you heard of 'The Tale of the Three Brothers'?"

"Err, no?" Harry said in confusion.

"Hmm…Isn't that one of the stories in The Tales of Beedle the Bard?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, it would be there," Severus said, looking around him. "Listen, the triangle is the cloak, the line is the wand, the circle is the stone. I must be going now…"

"Wait!" Hermione exclaimed. "What about-?"

"If you have more questions, you will find the answers," Severus snapped. "Consult the portrait of Phineas Nigellus. I presume he still has a portrait in that bloody house. I must be going. Stay out of trouble and do not go to Xenophilius Lovegood."

Harry opened his mouth, to make Severus stay or offer declarations of love or a farewell or something, but Severus disappeared. He sighed heavily and tossed the mirror aside.

"I suppose he must have a lot going on as headmaster," Hermione muttered. "But still…To leave us like that! There are so many questions! What would Phineas know about the Dea—Oh wait! We should read the story, shouldn't we, Harry? I'll go get the book, you wait here!"

Hermione ran out of the room and Harry just watched her go. The way Severus talked, there didn't seem to be much important about the Deathly Hallows, just some silly stories that unique individuals like the Lovegoods believed in. With Hermione's thirst for knowledge, though, he figured they wouldn't be resting until they learned everything they could. Hermione did have a point, though. The symbol had popped up in a lot of places. Harry pulled the book back towards him to stare down at the symbol. Yes, there was something about it alright. Hopefully it wouldn't take them long to figure out what it was.

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It had been a long night for the pair of barely any sleep at all. They read the story, spoke to Phineas Nigellus, and spent a great deal of time arguing. Hermione thought the Deathly Hallows were rubbish, but Harry thought they made perfect sense! He kept seeing it more and more in everything. His Invisibility Cloak was the one in the story! It had to be, the way Phineas scoffed and told them the vast difference between an everyday invisibility cloak and the Cloak of Invisibility. Harry also discovered that Marvolo Gaunt's ring had been the Resurrection Stone and that Dumbledore must have left it to him in the Snitch! He could access it, as soon as he figured out how to open the bloody thing! Last but not least, he knew that Voldemort was after the Elder Wand.

The days that followed weren't much better. He tried his best to share his excitement with Severus, who thought the same as Hermione—he was getting carried away, making things fit where they actually didn't, they needed to focus on the Horcruxes instead of fabled artifacts. He was, for once, glad that Severus wasn't around and that Hermione usually stayed away when Harry was speaking with his lover. They would gang up on him, he was sure of it, together trying to force him to 'see sense.' Harry didn't want to talk much to either of them after a while.

He had been careless enough to mention Severus and Hermione being obsessed with the Horcrux hunt one night with the mirror.

"Obsessed?" Severus snorted, looking as irritated and impatient with Harry as ever. "The only one obsessed is the little boy running after items he read about in a children's story. Miss Granger, at least, sees some sense— "

"Like Mione so much, dunno why you aren't shagging her," Harry grumbled.

"—and has her mind on what's important," Severus said, glowering at Harry. "Stop being so childish. Professor Dumbledore left you a mission to complete. Now do you want to defeat the Dark Lord or not?"

"Of course I do!" Harry snapped. "And he's after the Elder Wand!"

He was close to another full out rant. It was the same thing, every day, to either Hermione or Severus and sometimes both. Voldemort was after the Elder Wand. If Voldemort managed to get said Elder Wand, they would all be very much screwed. Horcruxes wouldn't matter! He would be unstoppable. In fact, if Harry could just get the Elder Wand himself, they'd be in great shape! Besides, they could do both, couldn't they? Look for the Hallows and the Horcruxes? Harry was only so focused on the Hallows since no one else cared for them…

"Go feed it to Miss Granger and offer her my apologies for sticking her with you," Severus snapped. "I have more important things to attend to than listen to your whining about make believe subjects! Please, refrain from contacting me unless you can spare a few minutes away from this bloody subject!"

And before Harry could snap at him or beg him to stay (he wasn't sure which he really wanted to do), Severus was gone. Harry didn't bother him again for the next few days, though he kept the mirror nearby. He glanced there now and then, noticing every day a glimpse of black eyes checking in on him before disappearing. The thought irritated him, but once that faded away, he was touched that Severus would still make sure he was alive and well, even if they were mad at each other.

On the fourth night, Hermione and Harry took more Polyjuice and went to visit Little Hangelton. It was where Riddle House was and done out of desperation. It was a bit dangerous, but Hermione was hoping to listen around town to see if anyone noticed anything strange about Riddle House before thinking of going to the area. They had just gotten through listening to Potterwatch when they left and were still hissing to each other about it when they got there.

"He's abroad! He's still looking for the wand!" Harry whispered excitedly.

"Harry—" Hermione sighed.

"Come on, Hermione! Why are you so determined not to admit it? Vol—"

"HARRY, NO!" Hermione shrieked.

"—demort's after the Elder Wand!"

Harry was confused by the terror in Hermione's wide brown eyes. She was shaking now, looking around wildly. "Hermione?"

"The name's Tabboo. Harry, the name's Taboo! Remember? Oh, Merlin! The Cloak! Harry, get the Cloak over us! Quick! Oh shite!"

Harry scrambled to untangle the cloak from inside his jacket, mind racing. The name was Taboo…Had he really said it? This wasn't good.

Before they could do anything, a group of wizards appeared all around them.

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Severus knew nothing of his lover's predicament that night as he left the castle. Striding across the grounds, he had other things in mind as he followed a very excited Amycus Carrow. He walked briskly, his face stern while he hoped and prayed inside that he would find everyone intact. Seeing as how the group had been left with Slytherin prefects and Alecto Carrow, Severus wasn't too sure. He could just hex the idiots to pieces! How could anyone be so ridiculously stupid?

Loud voices could be heard as they drew closer. Flashes of light in the windows. Severus frowned as he walked into the hut. There were several "Ministry officials" standing there with Alecto and all of the Slytherin prefects, as well as the Head Boy and Girl. It went against tradition to replace the seventh year prefects if they became Heads, but under his rule that had to change. There needed to be more Slytherins in charge, apparently. Severus had never been more ashamed to call Slytherin his House. Severus could barely seen beyond them, though he ducked as a streak of blue light shot towards him.

It seemed most of the authorities were trying to get control of Hagrid to arrest him. The prefects were dealing with the students gathered there. They were apparently hosting a Support Harry Potter Party. Severus eyed the decorations in disgust. Posters of his lover, balloons and a cake in his shape, Gryffindor colors and decorations, confetti, and anything at all related to Harry, Dumbledore, Gryffindor, the Order, and the D.A.

There needed to be more Slytherins supporting the cause, Severus couldn't help but think. Slytherins were too smart to be so blatant with their rebellion. Really? A Support Harry Potter party? Did they really need a party? Severus wanted to yell at the buffoons, but he couldn't say half of the things he wanted to say without it looking bad. Severus cleared his throat and walked around to his students.

"This is not a duel. Put away your wands," Severus snapped, eying the prefects meaningfully. Them, too. Scowling, they obeyed. "Back to the castle!"

"We're not going anywhere with you!" spat Ginevra Weasley.

"You will," Severus snapped. "Now! You wouldn't want to make things worse for the oaf, would you?" He nodded to Hagrid.

"Hagrid is not an oaf!" Ginevra snapped.

"Tsk tsk. I know they say bravery is a Gryffindor trait, but that's not quite an accurate description, is it? It's not bravery, it's foolhardiness. You obviously care nothing for your life if you carry on in such a manner!"

"Don't threaten her," Longbottom said darkly.

Threat? It was more of a warning, but it was probably better if it was taken that way. Severus glanced to the other Slytherins who were snickering and then back at Amycus and Alecto. Alecto was cackling at Hagrid's treatment, but Amycus…Amycus had his eyes on Ginevra. Severus's stomach churned as he recalled the horror young Daria Spelling had gone through. She hadn't even been the last, and if Severus's suspicions were true, not the first. Evelyn Evans, Susan Bones, Shasta Olson, Megan Jones, Euterpe Louzen, Yasmin Ventimiglia, Tansy Torro, Briar Plath, Dandelion Sebert, Stacy Hall, Romilda Vane…He remembered all of the names of all of the girls Amycus had raped or nearly raped. He did his best to keep the girls out of his grasp, but he could only do so much. Could only see and hear so much. It didn't help that Amycus was encouraging him to try the boys. Severus had been sick the moment Amycus sent Andrew Kirke to his office with suggestive comments. Every time Amycus sent those young boys like Jack Sloper, Stavros Agnos, and Sherlock Wells, Severus knew what they hoped and expected. He had nightmares about being pushed into a room with the Dark Lord and the Carrows and being expected to perform. He had nightmares of ripping off their clothes and caressing young flesh, violating their adolescent bodies, being glared at with repulsion by Harry. The accusation of his lover and the few people he respected. Albus shaking his head in disappointment.

"Detention. With me. Tomorrow night, Miss Weasley. And you, Mr. Longbottom," Severus said quickly. "In fact, why don't we make it a detention for you all tomorrow night. Weasley and Longbottom will serve an extra two days for their backtalk. Now return to the castle or it will be more. In fact, if you do not return now I will question every student in this school to see if anyone else was aware of this gathering and I will punish everyone."

That was a threat, but a necessary one. If they thought he would punish students unnecessarily, their Gryffindor tendencies would kick in. Self-sacrificing was more important than stubborn, proud bravery. At least in most cases. That seemed to shut them up very quickly.

"Castle. Now. All of you," he growled.

Tracey Davis grinned and led the way out of the hut, Theodore Nott bringing up the rear, shooting Severus a sly grin as he left. He didn't trust the others with the prefects, but fellow students were safer than their professors.

"How did you hear about it?" Severus asked Alecto.

"Pansy and Tracey overheard something suspicious from the Vane girl," Alecto replied. "They came to investigate and let me know the moment they saw what was happening."

"It will take me a while to figure out how many point deductions and rewards to make," Severus said with a sigh. He glared at Hagrid. "You realize you're fired, don't you?"

"He's more than fired, he's being arrested," growled the familiar voice of Oedipus Odell. It looked like Yaxley was with him.

"Very good," said Severus.

"You shou' be 'shamed o' yerself, Snape!" Hagrid bellowed. "After all Dumbledore done for yeh! Them poor students. Yeh won' be here long, Snape! They'll get yer Dark Lord and ye'll be rotten in Azkaban, yeh git!"

"You are hardly in the position to be making threats, Hagrid," Severus hissed.

"Shouldn't you be babysitting, Severus?" Oedipus snapped.

"I am," Severus smirked. "Apparently law enforcement officers need more watching than teenagers."

"Go to hell," Oedipus barked.

"Focus," hissed Yaxley.

Their wands were all aimed at Hagrid, who was busy trying to dodge them. He managed to dive through some of them, landing on four of them (Oedipus included, to Severus's delight), and scrambled up to jog out of the hut. The four who were down didn't look like they'd be conscious anytime soon, and the others ran over them and out into the night after Hagrid. Alecto and Amycus happily joined them, glad to have another excuse to attack someone. Severus walked over to where Oedipus was laying and prodded him with the toe of his boot.

Many childish pranks came to mind, he could hardly help himself. It was better than the alternatives that began to seep to the front of his thoughts, such as Unforgiveable Curses. Instead he pulled one of the permanent markers made by the Weasley twins, appropriately colored to alternate between Gryffindor red and gold, and pulled up Oedipus's sleeve and wrote SUPPORT HARRY POTTER! With his right hand. It would keep them from recognizing his handwriting, he hoped, as normally wrote with his left hand. It wasn't much, but it would have to do. He had to get to the castle to check on his students, and then he would have to check on Harry.

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"Who have we here?" demanded the voice of Fenrir Greyback.

Harry and Hermione glanced at each other quickly. They at least were still under the Polyjuice with the Muggle hair they had gotten. But how much longer would it last? They had more phials of it in their clothes, but would they be able to take more if they needed to?

"Your names!" Greyback snapped.

"Oh…umm…Clearwater. Penelope Clearwater," Hermione lied.

"Blood status?"

"Half blood."

"You?"

"Erm…Roger Davies," Harry lied.

"Blood status?"

"Half blood."

"Right. Check the list!" Greyback snapped to the others. "So, thought you'd come sneaking around here? Using the Dark Lord's name for a laugh?"

"No, we weren't…It was just…A dare. We were playing Truth or Dare and…Well…" Hermione said, laughing nervously.

"A game, hmm?" Greyback said. "You know who used to like using the Dark Lord's name, Miss Clearwater? The Order of the Phoenix. Mean anything to you?"

"N-no…sir," Hermione said.

"Well, they don't show the Dark Lord proper respect, so the name's been Tabooed. A few Order members have been tracked that way. We'll see. Bind them up with the other two prisoners!"

"What?" Harry exclaimed. Prisoners? They couldn't seriously be taking them away? Just because they had said a name! They didn't even look like themselves. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

"You're coming with us," Greyback said.

Someone grabbed Harry by the hair and dragged him a few feet away. They pushed him down and began tying him back to back with others. He struggled as best he could, but there were too many around him. He jerked his head to the side when he heard Hermione shriek, but someone yanked his head back ahead.

"Got their names checked, Scabior?"

"Yeah. There's no Roger Davies on 'ere, Greyback."

"Interesting," Greyback said. "That's interesting."

Greyback came over to stare down at Harry. "So you aren't wanted then, Roger? Or are you on that list under a different name? What House were you in anyway?"

"R-Ravenclaw," Harry got out, trying to remember all that he could about Roger Davies.

"Hmmm," said Greyback said, still eying him carefully for a long moment. He then walked around to talk to Hermione. "What about you, Penelope?"

"Ravenclaw, as well," Hermione said clearly.

"Right, then," said Greyback, slowly stalking around the group. Harry struggled against the binds and twisted his neck around to look for Hermione. He was surprised to find another familiar face instead.

"Dean?" Harry whispered in surprise.

"Yes?" Dean Thomas said.

Right. He wouldn't recognize him. Dean gave him a look, clearly saying he knew he wasn't Roger Davies, but he wasn't going to say a word. Harry didn't bother replying and instead turned his head the other way, hoping to find Hermione then. Their captors were whispering amongst themselves.

"Mi—Penelope?" Harry whispered.

"H…Roger," Hermione said. They both twisted around enough to catch a glimpse of each other and Hermione gasped.

"Oh no," she said.

Uh oh. Hermione's face looked like it was melting. The Polyjuice was wearing off! They should have left as soon as they took the bloody potion! It was already wearing off and at the worst of times!

"Greyback! Look!"

They weren't the only ones who noticed.

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Lost and Damned