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Research and Development Part I; Hunger	By : Aubrey Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 8765 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
SUMMARY: Harry wants Remus. Remus wants Harry. It should be
simple, right? Struggling to find a way to make everyone take him more
seriously, Harry pushes Remus away. Remus misunderstands, and hurt and
confusion blossom. They must learn to adjust the blurred lines of dominant and
submissive partner, and where their roles in the bond are not quite so
appropriate in everyday life.

CATEGORY: (Drama / Humor / Angst / Romance)

BETAS: The Slick ShadowPhoenix

NOTES:
This is only partially beta read, as my poor ShadowPhoenix is not getting her
emails from me. I figure that until we can figure something out, I shouldn�t
torture you by making you wait. Especially since I know I�ve been dragging ass
on this one in any case. So please forgive the spelling/grammar/punctuation
errors that have found their way into this chapter; I promise I will repost
when everything is straightened out.

Part
Eight: The Not So Submissive Partner

Harry lay
awake in bed that night, his curtains thrown back to let in the whitewash of
moonlight from the silver sliver in the sky. He had his bed as close to the
window as possible, and the pane lifted just a little to let the cool night
breeze spill over his face. When he closed his eyes and concentrated, he could
pretend he was flying. God, it seemed like so long since he really flew.
Driving a car was simply nothing like it, no matter how fast they went.

Remus had
insisted Harry take rn orn on the way back to the house, and he felt like he�d
gotten the hang of it pretty well, considering. After all, there were two polar
opposites in the car with him the whole time, doing their utmost best to drive
him insane. Remus was helpful and encouraging, while Snape griped and taunted.
The werewolf had, at any rate, been cheerful and courteous to Harry�in the car,
at least. Then they�d gotten home and Remus insisted on making dinner, and
Harry had become so fed up with his irrational paranoia that he actually
barricaded himself in the den with Snape afterwards, and requested extra
Occlumency training.

If Snape
thought something was particularly strange about that, he didn�t mention it. He
just did he usual thing: cutting insults, vicious ridicule, and unrealistic
demands. If anything, he seemed ever so slightly pleased that Harry was taking
him seriously. Harry couldn�t help it; the only time he could forget about his
complicated relationship with Remus was when he was so angry he couldn�t think
straight. Snape was very good at provoking him to such a state.

Afterwards
he had collapsed in a chair by the fire, watching as the Potions Master eyed
him suspiciously while he re-collected his thoughts from a pensieve, nodded
once, glaring, and left. Harry sat for almost two hours, waiting for Remus to
fall asleep. Not yet, Potter, not yet; he�s bound to be up still�Don�t want
to face him now�face him yet�do this yet�You want him to treat you like a man,
you want him to respect you�you�d better start by showing yourself some
respect, or nobody else ever will. And he knew, without a doubt, that Remus
was up there, up�there�waiting�up�for him. Waiting, with those predator�s eyes
that cut through the night, with those soft hands that no Boy Who Lived could
resist. Better not to go up just yet. Better to wait. Only after he was very
sure that Remus would be asleep, must be asleep, did Harry creep into
his own room, into his own bed.

Remus could
not have dreamt of sleeping. He didn�t know what was going on. One moment,
Harry was fine. The next, he was as cool and distant as the very mistress that
graced the night sky and ruled his blood. And every bit as mysterious. He�d
volunteered to do his lessons early�with Snape! What could it mean? He
tried to tell himself that he ought to be glad that Harry was taking the threat
of Legilimency with a measure of sobriety, but the wolf inside the man was
howling with jealousy and fear. Could he lose his mate to the Potions Master?
Was that even possible? A werewolf�s mate had to�but wait�didn�t necessarily
have to stay with their partner for life. Wasn�t it the werewolf that was in
danger of suffering, as always? Damn. Why the bloody, sodding hell did that
book have to get incinerated with the rest of our things? I could really do
with some answers, right now. Or some whiskey�

He slipped over to the roll-top
desk and pulled out a bottle. It wasn�t Old Ogden�s; it was just some Muggle
brand, but it was ninety proof, and that was all that mattered to Remus at the
moment. He drank long and hard, as he�d not done for so long, so very long. And
as he drank, he envisioned the liquid intoxicant running through his veins,
stealing his soul away from her, from him, making Remus his own animal
again.

Harry gazed
at the mirror that hung between his wall and Remus�s. He wished it were a
window�he wished he could see his mate. No! No, he did not want to see
his mate. Well, yes, he might like to, but he didn�t need to, and
that made all the difference. He was in rol.rol. He was not a child, to be
ruled by his emotions. He could go on very well without Bloody Emperor Lupin.
He had before. He had, hadn�t he?

The trouble
was, Harry could hardly remember being without Lupin. Of course, a lot of his
life had been spent without the man, but now that he�d found him, all that time
seemed inconsequential, blurred, and colorless. Meaningless. How had he gotten
by without that powerful rush of love and devotion and lust Remus inspired in
him? Oh, that�s right. Mostly by wanking. And picturing him, too. His
hand slipped under the blankets, sliding feather-light over his stiffening
cock. God. Better when he does it. Taking a deep breath and trying not
to make any noise, he slid his hand under the waistband of his boxers.

�Harry?� a
whisper came from outside the door, causing the youth to yelp in fright.

Yanking his
hand back out and straightening the covers, he hissed, �Jesus, Remus! I
told you not to do that. What do you want?� He watched, grinding his teeth, as
the werewolf pushed his door open and stepped inside. He half walked, half
stumbled over to the bed with the air of one who thinks he is assuming great
dignity. It did not escape Harry that Remus was nowhere near as smooth as he�d
been last night.

�Harry��
the name escaped the man�s lwithwith a sigh, and he plunked himself down on the
bed. �How�d the lesson go?�

�Just fine
thanks and couldn�t that have waited �till morning?� the boy rushed out in one
breath.

Remus tried
to smile. �Erm. Guess so. I just�wanted�to know. I guess. Wanted to see you, is
all. I missed you.�

The look
the man was giving him was so blatantly, desperately hungry that Harry began to
feel uncomfortable. The student couldn�t help but notice that Remus�s shirt was
unbuttoned, showing off his lovely pectorals, the flat stomach, and the hair
that lightly crossed his chest and crept down, down, till it was a straight line,
pointing right toward�

�Harry.
I�ve missed you. Haven�t you missed me at all?� The man bent forward and
swept Harry into his arms, kissing him soundly.

Harry felt
himself melting. The warmth, the wet, the need were all right where they
were supposed to be�in Remus�s lips. Merlin, yes, I�ve missed this sooooo
much. He moaned soundlessly into Remus�s mouth, and the man�s hands came
up, nimble fingers tenderly creeping under his t-shirt, kneading his muscles,
caressing his nipples. At this, Harry woke from his sexually aroused stupor,
jerking a little and causing their teeth to clatter together.

�Mmmph.
Harry, are you all right?� Remus softly cupped his face, nose inches away from
Harry�s own.

Remus was
riding the swells of intoxication, fighting for that clean, sharp cognizance
that came so easily when he was sober. �What am I doing? Harry�I�ve missed you,
and I need you, and what the hell is your problem lately?�

Harry
gaped. �My problem? My problem? My problem is that you go about
lecturing me on the subject of maturity�as though I wander about needing my
nappies changed�telling me how I should do this and I shouldn�t
do that, and how you don�t trust me to take care of one damn thing by myself,
and then you show up here, in my bedroom, at one in the morning, three
sheets to the wind. Really, did you think about what would happen if Snape
caught you in here? And I�m the one that�s immature?�

�Harry.�

�Get the
hell out of my room, you stupid drunk. What the hell is the matter with you,
anyway?� Harry marched over to the door and threw it open. Snape stood, framed
and menacing, his arms crossed over his chest.

Harry and
Remus stared at him. �Well, well, well. Out of your bed and prowling round the
house at night, Lupin? I suppose if you�re once a Gryffindor, you�re always a
Gryffindor. What sort of trouble have you been causing, that you felt it
necessary to sneak into Potter�s room?�

Remus
watched in horror as Harry�s mouth opened. Here it came, then: the final
betrayal. He couldn�t even understand what he had done, that Harry had ceased
loving him so abruptly, and now Harry would do the one thing that would cut him
to the core. It was unthinkable; in his days at Hogwarts, the Marauders would
never have dreamed of turning on each other, no matter how angry they
were, no matter what the situation�except Peter� Remus watched the boy take a
deep breath, and wondered how badly it hurt when your heart shattered into a
thousand pieces.

Harry
glared up at the imposing figure, and drew himself up to his full height. �None
of your goddamn business, you nosy gargoyle! Go the hell away and leave us
alone! If I want to have a private heart-to-heart with my godfather�s best
friend, then I�ve every right to do that. You may be a big man in the Order,
sp on on this, that, and the other thing, but don�t you dare think you can
start spying on us.�

Harry
stared at the Potions Master, his face red, his chest heaving. Snape regarded
him coolly. �Fifty points from Gryffindor, Mister Potter, for you extreme
immaturity.�

�You can�t
take points. The term hasn�t even started, yet!� Harry was bristling, outraged.

�The points
will be deducted once it has. Goodnight, Mister Potter.� Snape began a measured
tread back to his own room. �And Lupin? If I catch you wandering into Potter�s
room in the middle of the night, again, I am going to mistake you for a Death
Eater and kill you on sight. Be warned.�

Harry
turned to Remus with a snarl on his lips and gesticulated for the man to leave.
Remus slowly rose to his feet and crossed the room, looking miserable and lost.
Just as he passed Harry, the youth had second thoughts. He didn�t want to hurt
the man, and that was obviously what he�d done. He just needed Remus to change
his perspective a little. Placing a hand on the man�s shoulder, �Wait,� Harry
pled softly. Remus looked up in mild surprise, and the boy rose up on his
tiptoes to press their lips together in a fleeting kiss. Harry put his arms
around Remus, resting his head on the man�s shoulder, and Remus�s arms came
uncertainly to circle the boy�s waist. �I�m sorry,� Harry mumbled against
Remus�s shirt. �I�m sorry. I�m just. This is hard, you know? I need a little
breathing room; that�s all. Just a little breathing room. And no more getting
sauced. All right?�

Remus
smiled sadly as Harry pulled away. �Sure, Green Eyes. Anything you want.
Anything at all.�

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Harry went and flopped back down on
his bed, groaning quietly. Of all the irritating�! Well, he�d held his ground,
at any rate. He hadn�t given in. No sex. Not until Remus saw him as someone
capable of making his own decisions. �At least he wasn�t aroused anymore. Not so
aroused, anyway. Having Remus put his arms around him, pressing his hand into
the small of Harry�s back�that hadn�t really helped. That first kiss, when
Remus had just scooped him up and engulfed him�just thinking about that was
making Harry excited again. And here he was, thinking he didn�t really need to
wank off anymore. Well, Harry could still do that, at
least. If he wanted. He didn�t have to. He didn�t have to do anything.
It was his choice. He found himself choosing to yank down his underwear and let
his hand encircle his growing erection. He licked his lips, tasting Remus and
hot whiskey. He pictured Remus�s lips against his once more, that bold,
aggressive tongue invading his mouth. He imagined Remus�s eyes, burning deeply
into his own, then slowly taking in the rest of his body, relishing the sight
of his exposed, tender flesh. He imagined Remus leaning over him, smiling that
ravenous, sharp smile, and he took Harry�s hand in his own and stroked faster
and faster and harder and�

Remus slunk dejectedly into his
bedroom, and slid back between the sheets. Merlin, had he ballsed it up this
time. He�d been so thick, to think he could steal into Harry�s room with
Snape around. Why had he done that? It was so unlike him. And now Harry was
more upset with him than ever. But of course, Harry had kissed him,
right at the end. Such a kiss�so light, so sweet, so much headier than
any whiskey. He licked his lips, tasting youth and innocence and Harry. Gnawing
his lower lip, he rolled over, pulling the downy pillow over his head. He
should not be getting aroused by just a kiss. Oh, how he missed that
clever little tongue, the way it liked to run along his teeth, tickle the roof
of his mouth, and be cornered and captured and petted by his own. Remus began
to realize that his hips had a mind of their own, and made a conscious effort
to stop rubbing himself against the bed. His resolve didn�t last long. There
were too many stimulating memories of Harry flitting through his mind, too much
of an electric current running through his blood. Too many things about the boy
that Remus found erotic. Even the memory of his voice�that pure, mellow voice,
inspired the werewolf to reach down and squeeze himself lightly. He thought of
Harry�s cheeks, stained with a flush of desire, of his eyes, lit up with lust,
of his smooth, lissome body arching and shuddering and he pushed down Merlin,
yes, harder and harder into that sweet fire, that slick skin�

Harry clenched his teeth, glaring
at the moon. What the hell was the problem? Sure, he�d had an argument
with Remus�and another with Snape�and spent hours listening to soft rock from
the seventies, but�why would that affect this? He felt his face heat up.
This was becoming horribly embarrassing, even if no one ever found out about
it. Well, it wasn�t like he couldn�t get it up. He just couldn�t get off.
Dear Merlin, he�d never been so frustrated in his entire life�not when the
Dursleys were stopping him getting his mail, not when Ron didn�t believe him
about the Goblet, not when he�d been stuck at Privet Drive last summer with no
idea what was going on in the rest of the world�never. He wanted
to come, he really, honestly did, and he was�he was sure he was, well, randy
enough, but he just couldn�t make it happen. None of his favorite fantasies
were working�not the one under the Christmas tree, not the one on the desk, and
not the one in the back of the mini, which wouldn�t have worked anyway, unless
one of them was double-jointed. The only time he came close was remembering the
last time Remus had taken him, and taken him roughly, with the leash and the
collar and his hand stifling the poetry of porn that he�d been dying to spout,
and Oh God, why can�t I just get it over and forget about it? A thought
suddenly occurred to Harry, and he dropped lightly off the bed and made his way
across the room to his trunk. Opening it as quietly as he could, he rummaged
round until he felt it�ah, yes. There it was. Navigating the creaky
floorboards, he got back into bed, and looped the collar around his neck,
tightening the strap securely. Immediately, he felt a vast rush of sensuality,
and a deep and thrilling connection to his mate. He leaned back and closed his
eyes, one finger hooked through the ring of the collar, the other hand reaching
down to cup his balls, to fondle himself. He kept the pressure of his finger
pulling the collar steadily, and imagined he was linked directly to the
werewolf. Gasping, he finally spilled his seed over his belly.

Smiling, he unhooked the collar and
let it drop to the floor. He didn�t need Remus for this. He was sure he�d have
the older man eating out of the palm of his hand by the end of the week. He�d have
to come to see Harry as someone self-reliant and mature. After all, Remus had
been denied this sort of pleasure for far too long. How long could he possibly
hold out?

Remus growled into his pillow. It
didn�t help at all that his extra-sensitive werewolf ears could hear every
little moan the boy made, in there. The little bastard. And as much as it
turned him on, Remus could not find release from it. Maybe his mate had
to be there. After all, he�d let every indecent fantasy he�d ever had about the
boy play out in his head, and none of them was quite enough. Not the one in the
shower, not the one with the whipped cream, not the one on the desk, not even
the one with manacles at every corner of the bed. The closest he could come,
literally, was when he remembered the last time he�d mounted the boy, with that
sinful collar and the leash and having lost it completely till he was thrusting
so roughly he was sure he�d hurt the boy. Damn. Why had the boy
gone and fulfilled one of those devilishly kinky fantasies? It was making it
much harder to satisfy himself thinking of anything else. Finally he remembered
the leash, and out of an absence of any better ideas, dug it out of his
suitcase. God, just the feel of the leather in the palm of his hand�he brushed
the strap against his length, shivering with pleasure. When he wound it about
his fist, he could imagine Harry was there, on the other end, waiting to be
ravished. Tightening his fingers around the leash, he jerked himself roughly,
picturing Harry, connected to him by that naughty bedroom accessory. Stifling a
cry, Remus finally came, spurting over the leather, and sighed, swearing under
his breath. hal half to clean it off by hand, since he couldn�t use magic.

Oh, well. At least he�d made it
through another night without Harry. He didn�t know what the kid�s
problem was. Well, Remus would show him. If Harry wanted to be sulky,
than Remus would be all right on his own. He didn�t have to have the
youth every night. He didn�t know what game Harry was playing, but Remus was
convinced he�d be the one to win. After all, Remus had learned to do with just
his hand before Harry had even been born. And Harry was passionate teen with
raging hormones. They�d just see who went crawling to whom.

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The next
morning, Harry tumbled out of bed, feeling a bit better about life. He bounded
into the kitchen and therefore into Snape, who gave him his usual death glare.
Harry just smiled brightly and said, �I�m going to make some tea and toast.
Want any?� Snape merely grunted, which Harry chose to take as assent. �You�re
not stopping in at Hogwarts today for any reason, are you?�

Snape gave
him a haughty look beneath his rather greasier-than-usual hair. �I am not in
the habit of informing you of my schedule, Potter. You can keep your
�gargoyle nosiness�, or what have you, to yourself.�

'> Harry
sighed. Time to bring out the big guns. �Hmm. I�m actually pretty hungry. I
don�t think just toast is going to do it. How about some lovely eggs Benedict?
I think we have everything we need�� He hummed quietly to himself as he bustled
about the kitchen, pulling out ingredients and utensils. Harry was keenly aware
of the dark eyes flickering towards him whenever his back was turned. �I wasn�t
being noisy,� he said conversationally after a le whe while. �I was just
wondering if you would pick something up for me. Here, try the sauce. Does it
need salt?� Before an answer could be produced, Harry shoved the tip of the
spoon in the man�s mouth.

Snape jerked
away, scowling, but Harry couldn�t help but noticed he licked his lips rather a
few more times than was necessary. �And just what, Potter, could you
possibly need from Hogwarts, especially given the time of year?�

Harry
shrugged, seemingly absorbed in the process of ladling the sauce over the eggs.
�Oh, nothing much. A couple of books, maybe. If you could get them, that is.�

Snape
turned his suspicious scowl on �high-beam.� �And what books would these be,
Mister Pr? Rr? Restricted books, one would assume?�

�No,� Harry
smiled, turning round holding a couple of plates. �Just, you know; books.
Like on magic. That type of thing.�

�Your
clarity is deeply underwhelming,� Snape replied dryly, his eyes on the food.

�I�m bored,
Professor. I can�t practice Occlumency all the time, and there are only
three meals in a day, not counting tea. And Remus usually shoves me off of
cooking dinner. So I need something to do. I already finished my course boofor for the year, so maybe you could think of a few titles that might help me brush
up on stuff? Or information you think I�d find useful?� He held a plate up
under the Potions Master�s nose, and the man�s eyes fluttered shut.

lasslass=MsoNormal>

�I
suppose�that�s true�� He sounded as though the words had been tethered to wild
horses. �You won�t�be trying any practical applications?�

�Of course
not!� Harry gave him a sweet smile and handed him a plate. �Just bring me
something interesting; that�s all I�m asking. Now, where�s the tea? Dig in,
Professor, while they�re still hot!�

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Remus
didn�t come downstairs until almost two in the afternoon. Part of this was
because he was nursing a raging headache, but part was because he wasn�t
especially up to facing Harry. He stayed in bed for most of the morning,
thinking. Once he began to sober up, the world looked very different. Last
night had been bad. Last night had been the worst night he�d faced since the
bonding, and much worsan man many prior to that. Harry had�rejected him. He
wasn�t even sure why. All he could think was that Harry was gettinoredored; he was only sixteen, after all, and what kind of fool expected a
sixteen-year-old to settle down? The boy had clearly grown tired of him, and
was beginning to resent the forced bond. Harry wanted out. Remus could
barely contain the pain that welled up inside of him when he realized this.

It wasn�t
as though Remus could blame the boy; after all, what sane human being
would want to be saddled with an old, tatty, destitute werewolf for the rest of
his or her life? And Harry, Harry had any any prospects! He was smart, he was
talented; he was beautiful and generous and young. He had so much going for
him. He deserved someone far better than Remus Lupin ever could be. And
now it looked as though Harry had come to this realization, as well. What could
Remus do? He couldn�t give Harry up; the desire to be near his mate was too
strong. Wasn�t it? Did it matter? Why should it, if his very presence was
making Harry miserable? He couldn�t take that from the boy; shouldn�t have
accepted it in the first place. He should give Harry his freedom back. And, if
it should kill Remus to do so�well, who was going to mourn an old, tatty,
destitute werewolf, anyhow? All his friends were dead. It occurred to him, not
for the first time, that he should not have outlived the othert wat was an
error�a terrible oversight on Fate�s part.

Growling,
he finally got out of bed and began pacing. He couldn�t keep thinking about
this. This wasn�t just a matter of Harry�s freedom�Harry didn�t have any
freedom, not as long as Voldemort was around. He had to be there for Harry, had
to protect him. It was what James would have wanted, what Sirius would
have wanted. There didn�t even have to be any shagging involved. After all, it
was just a perk. It all came down to the fact that he cared�very deeply, in
fact�about Harry, and would do anything to see he had a chance at happiness.
And yes, sometimes he might get a little carried away, he allowed, but
that was only because Harry was so wonderful, and sweet, and delicate. All
right, not completely delicate, but Remus was more than aware that, with
his enhanced werewolf strength, he coulve sve snapped the boy�s bones like
twigs. In a sense, everyone else was delicate, compared to him. He just
wanted Harry to be safe.

mal> Suddenly,
he stopped pacing. The best way to guarantee Harry�s safety, he decided, was to
determine which Death Eater was following them. And then, perhaps he�d have a
chance to deal with them. He got out the scrap of cloth, and took another deep
sniff, letting the wolf inside analyze in its own way. Afterwards, he sat for a
long while, his face impassive. If he�d come to any conclusions, and if he
happened to be surprised or intrigued by those conclusions, it wasn�t written
on his face.

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When Remus
came downstairs finally, he shooed Harry away from the stove. �Damn it, I said
that thing was dangerous. Don�t you touch it again, d�you hear me?� He stomped
around, readying dinner, as Harry retreated to the den to sulk. It was
difficult, trying to concentrate while he was still in the throes of the worst
hangover he�d had since before he�d left Hogwarts. And it wasn�t as if he could
ask Severus for a potion, either, because that would mean admitting that he�d
wandered into Harry�s bedroom ie mie middle of the night, completely pissed.
Whatever Severus would make out of that, Remus was sure he didn�t want to know.
On top of that, the mystery smell kept bothering him. He was certain it
was familiar, and it wasn�t the vetiver. Was it? He was pretty sure it was the
amotamot. Pretty sure. He hadn�t been around it much�or had he?
Somewhere buried deep inside the wolfish part of his brain, he was aware that
there were layers upon subtle layers of smell, and that, not technically
being a canine, he was getting them mixed up in his head.

Smell was
linked to memory; memory was linked to emotion. Smells brought about more vivid
memories than any of the other senses. Supposedly. Why, then, did this
particular mixture of scents send his mind cartwheeling? He knew that if
you sat back and let yourself absorb the experience�enjoyed the ride, so to
speak�and merely looked back on whatever had popped into your head when a
certain odor was introduced, you could glean valuable information. But this
one! This one was so muddled. All he could remember, from sniffing it,
was a collage of seemingly unrelated things�a hallway at Hogwarts, a sense of
fear and frustration, Harry�which was odd, but more than anything, there was a
sense of Harry�and worry (but that could have come from anything,
especially these days), and a nagging, nagging feeling that this ought
to be easy. It was so damn familiar.

As he set
the oven to broil, he found himself worrying, as ever, about Harry. Why did the
smell bring Harry to mind? The only explanation he could think of was that the
smell was around Harry, and often. One of his friends? God, Remus hoped that
wasn�t the case. The scent didn�t especially bring to mind Ron or Hermione, but
smells could be such tricky things. If, for instance, the scent was a specific
pheromone, and was only given off under certain circumstances�then it wouldn�t
be the smell Remus most associated with any one person�but it probably
would be just enough to nag at his memory, if he�d smelled it on that
person before.

Damn it!
Sodding hell. Remus glared at the caramelized onions, which, unfortunately,
had turned out as onions flamb�. He wished he could use his wand.
Instead, he ran the pan under the tap, still cursing under his breath. Why the
hell was everything to do with Muggles so unbelievably difficult?

�Having a
spot of trouble, Lupin?� Snape�s smug voice floated from the kitchen doorway.
Remus stiffened, but didn�t deign to turn and glare at the man. He kept on
cooking as though nothing had happened. �You really ought to leave this sort of
thing to Potter,� the Potions Master offered. �You�re bloody awful at it. Really,
if you feel such an acute need to be useful, you could go and hunt the main
course down, rather than fecklessly torching everything you put paws to.�

Remus
sighed. �Do shut up, would you, Severus?�

With a
victorious smirk, the dark-haired antagonist left to join Harry in the den.

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Supper was
a sullen, almost silent affair, as Harry read, Snape snapped at Harry about not
getting food on books that were Hogwarts property, and Remus brooded and
watched the other two wizards. It wasn�t likely that Harry would spill food on
his book, since he hadn�t taken a single bite since the plate was set before
him. He hadn�t spoken a single word, either, at least to Remus. He did manage
the odd sentence here and there to Snape. In any case, the boy wasn�t eating
anything. Neither one of them was eating. Remus made himself chew his food,
even though it tasted like unwashed socks, but Harry and Snape completely
ignored the meal�if you could even call it that.

�So�what
are you reading, Harry?� Remus inquired, forcing himself to make polite
conversation. He was good at that sort of thing; he�d been doing it for years.
However, he�d never come across anyone quite so infuriatingly stubborn as
Harry�not even Snape could match the boy, when Harry in fin full moping mode.

�Nothing,�
Harry replied, never lowering the book for a moment.

Remus
gritted his teeth. He could not allow the boy to push him away. Harry needed
him; why couldn�t he see that? �Is it interesting?� He forced an attentive
smile.

Harry
shrugged. �Yeah, it�s really pretty interesting, I guess.� He turned the page.

Well. That
conversation had been a roaring success. Remus took a deep breath. He would
just have to persevere, that was all. �Really? What�s it about?�

Stn>Stubborn
silence, and then a hum which might be interpreted any number of ways.
�Professor Snape gave it to me,� the youth mumbled resentfully. �Ask him, if
you�re so fascinated by it. He surely knows more about it than I do.�

�I know
more about everything than you do,� Snape tossed out offhandedly,
examining his fingernails. He had an aura of amusement about him that was
difficult not to begrudge. �It�s all about Grindelwald and his various acts of
evil. I thought the child might find it useful.�

�Wow. Did
he really do that?� Harry asked, showing off a plate depicting a woman
being impaled on a very tall spike.

�Indeed.�
Severus nearly seemed to smile. �That was, however, one of his more
compassionate ways of killing.�

�Godric H.
Roosevelt Gryffindor!� Remus gasped. He snatched the book away from Harry.
�Don�t go showing the boy things such as that!�

�Remus!�
Harry snarled, making a grab for the book. Remus immediately stood up, holding
the book above his head. �What�you�I�you idiot! I need that book!
I need to know things like that. Don�t you get it? Do you think
Voldemort�ll go, �Ah, I won�t do that to him, then, seeing as how he�d
never expect it!� Get a grip.� Remus was frowning and shaking his head,
and Harry could have stomped his foot in frustration. �This isn�t some game,
you idiot! This is my life! It�s going to be my death, if you
keep mollycoddling me like this. Please, Remus. Give it back. These are things
I need to know, even if they aren�t very pleasant.�

Remus�s jaw
was clenched. This was so contradictory of what he wanted for the boy, so wrong
and upsetting. He wanted Harry safe. He wanted Harry innocent. He wanted
to preserve Harry the way he was now, and let no one damage his radiance any
more than Remus himself already had.

�The boy
has a point, you know,� Snape remarked from somewhere outside their little
world, his voice no more than a gnat�s buzz somewhere in the distance.

Remus was
shaking. He lowered the book, and Harry reached for it. �No, Harry,� he said as
gently as he could. �It is up to me to decide what�s best for you. I don�t
think horror stories fall into that category at all. I�m sorry. Maybe�maybe
when you�re older��

After a
long, tense silence, a loud slapping sound shocked Remus out of his distress.
He turned to stare at Snape, uncomprehending, as the man�s twisted smile
greeted him warmly. Remus hated Severus more than he had in all their years of
knowing one another, as the Potions Master continued to stand, bestowing upon
the werewolf his shatteringly loud applause.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next
day, Harry refused to come out of his room. Remus pleaded, pounded, and pulled
rank, but the boy wouldn�t budge. When Remus picked the land and muscled his
way in, Harry threw a shoe at his head, and the werewolf retreated, hurt and
furious. It wasn�t until evening, when Snape glided into the youth�s territory,
warded off the projectile alarm clock headed his way with a cursory shield
spell, and spoke with the boy quietly for more than an hour that Harry finally
condescended to rejoin the rest of the world. He still refused to speak to
Remus, though.

Remus was
torn. He had powerful feelings for Harry, and would do almost anything for the
boy, but the whole situation was twisting his insides into knots. On the other
hand, Harry was behaving like a spoiled diva and thoroughly deserved to be
flipped over the man�s knee and spanked senseless, and Remus would be more than
happy to do it, if only Snape weren�t around. He really was getting quite tired
of the child�s theatrics. Of course, it never occurred to him that any of this
was his fault.

After
skipping theninening meal, Harry followed Snape into the den for his lesson,
pulling the door closed behind him quickly in order to cut off Remus�s
admonition to �be careful.� Breathing heavily, he threw himself into a chair
and stared at the fire, grinding his teeth. �I don�t know how good I�m going to
be at this tonight,� he warned his teacher. �I�m royally mad at him, and I
don�t think I can clear my mind enough to make it work.�

�Which is
why you�re simply going to have to try harder, you short-sighted reprobate.
This is exactly the sort of thing the Dark Lord will try to use against
you!� Severus snapped, teeth bared. �You must stop acting like such a child
about all of this! You do not have the right to indulge in it! Now get up. And
clear that stupid head of yours; I do not see why you have any difficulty
emptying it on demand, when that is its natural state in any case. Now. Legilimens!�

With a
growl, Harry stood and tried to defend himself. He was only partially
successful. Suddenly he was seeping in memories; Dudley�s fifth birthday, when
he and his friends seemed to have Aunt Pet�s t�s tacit permissto pto play �Pin
the Tail on the Harry��playing a game of wizard�s chess at Christmas with Ron�Remus�s
face, hovering above his own� �No!� he yelled, giving a mighty push with his
mind, and the room came back into focus. He was on the floor. He stared at
Snape, who seemed neither impressed nor interested. Harry tried to recall if
that had been a particularly bad memory to show off. Had they been in bed
together? Must�ve been. Was Remus�s face betraying the passion they felt for
one another? Harry couldn�t remember; the glimpse had been too fleeting. He
hoped fervently that Snape hadn�t thought anything of it.

�Pathetic,
Mister Potter. And I�d actually begun to believe you capable of making humble
amounts of horribly retarded progress. Cease your emotional wallowing this
instant. Your disgusting sentimentality is making you more inept than ever. Ready
yourself Get up.�

�I�m not
sentimental,� Harry grumbled. �I�m just angry.�

�Stupid
boy. The werewolf would not be capable of making you angry if his opinion did
not matter to you. Leave off caring about him and what he thinks, and you will
have no reason to be angry. What did I just say, you miserable fool? Get up!�

Harry
rolled his eyes at the hypocrisy of his teacher, who plundered his thoughts
more brutally in response, though he found nothing especially damning.

After
several rounds of invading Harry�s head, Snape gave up in disgust. �Well, it is
apparent that myriad inanimate objects have more natural talent at Occlumency
than yourself; I�m giving up for the evening. Here,� he added, thrusting
something square at the boy.

�What�s
this?� Harry asked, squinting suspiciously. Anything coming from Snape was
likely to be poisoned, cursed, or at the very least, extremely insulting. He
turned the book in his hands and read the title; Everything You Ever Wanted to
Know About Horrible Dark Lords and Their Various Atrocities, But Were Afraid to
Ask. His lips quirked upward. �What�s this for, then?�

�Potter, do
tell me you�re not an utter twit. It�s what people of some erudition
call a book. On Dark Lords. And what they do. Have I spelled it out simply
enough for you? Your histrionics on how you could not be expected to face an
enemy without knowing his possible methods persuaded me to borrow this from the
library. Restricted section, since I�m sure that would be enough to make you
salivate over it. Or were all of your melodramatic gestures a mere act?�

Harry
blinked owlishly up at the man. �What? No. No! I want it, it�s just�� He stared
at the cover, thinking quickly. Remus wouldn�t be happy about this�not happy at
all. Snape was gathering his cloak, readying himself to return to
Hogwarts for a meeting. Harry tilted his head, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
�You�re trying to put me in the middle, aren�t you?� he asked the Potions
Master shrewdly. �You like to�I don�t know�sow dissent and all that. You think
it�s funny when Remus and I fight. That�s really tasteless, Snape.�

�Professor
Snape,� Severus replied blandly. �And I don�t have the vaguest idea of what
you�re on about. If you don�t wish to fight with him, then don�t fight with
him. All you have to do is keep your big, clumsy mouth shut, for once. And I
wish you luck in that. Remember to clear your mind before sleep, you
troublesome jackass. I don�t know why I bother reminding you; you never listen
to anything I say at any rate.� With a rather more smug than usual smirk, Snape
flooed back to Hogwarts, leaving Harry clutching an enormous, violent tome.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Harry
decided not to tell Remus about the text. After all, that would only
cause a fight, and that was what Snape�d been hoping for. This way, maybe he
could get an idea of what he was facing, and still avoid screwing up his
relationship with the werewolf even worse. If that were even possible, by this
point.

Remus was
spending a lot of time out on the front porch, looking haggard and upset. Harry
was avoiding him, but the man seemed to be purposely staying out of his way, in
any case, so what did it matter? Sometimes Harry did have a pang of guilt,
knowing that Remus was under a lot of stress, but every time he passed by the
kitchen and saw the wards the werewolf had nagged Snape into putting up, Harry
hardened his heart once more. This was ridiculous. It was a perfectly
ordinary oven, not Attila the Hun.

One night,
Harry had difficulty getting an exceptionally gory passage from Snape�s book
out of his head, found himself tossing and turning long into the night. Usually
by this time he was dead tired, from having to repel Snape from his mind with
nothing more than will, since he couldn�t use magic. Tonight, however, Harry
couldn�t help but be restless�Blood. That was what it always came down to.
Either it was pure or it was not. And there was always so much of it, when one
man decided he wanted more power. He didn�t even have to lift a finger�he sent
other people out to do his work, and take the risks. And so it was them that
paid, them and those that couldn�t withstand them. And the people fighting
against him got angry, and fought back, or nursed resentments�cursed him and
his followers, and spat after saying their names�and their children learned to
hate, just like that. And the bitterness spread. If someone looked like one of them,
acted like one of them; was suspected of knowing any of them,
well�best to yank the weed out by the root. Don�t want that sort of thing
spreading, after all. So he was getting them to kill each other, too. God, it
was scary. And the descriptions of what they did to each other! Supposedly
sane, common people! It was hard to believe but�Harry reckoned it only took one
rock, because that would be followed by another rock, and another, and another�

He had
feverish dreams, where being harsh meant being safe, and being kind meant
suspicion, and being different meant death. God, Remus was different. They�d
have killed Remus. And so the dreams morphed into dreams of his werewolf, taken
and chained and tortured with silver, or tossed onto a raging pyre, or stolen
away somewhere cold and lonely�so lonely�

&;

Harry woke
with a start, and rolled over to see the Muggle clock read almost four in the
morning. Remus was all right, though, Harry was sure. Nearly sure. Part of him
wanted to check, but it would look odd to go knocking on his door at this hour,
and besides, Harry was still mad. Still, that didn�t mean he didn�t care about
Remus� Harry stared at his ceiling, or would have if there�d been enough light.
He didn�t just care about Remus, and he didn�t just fancy the
man, either, although he was accustomed to thinking about it that way. A crush,
he�d so often told himself. I have a crush on Remus Lupin. But it wasn�t
merely a crush, and couldn�t be, because they were mated now. That
automatically meant something more, didn�t it? Or did it? He thought very hard
about it, determined to turn his thoughts from the death and terror in his
dreams. He had very strong feelings for Remus, but he wasn�t sure what
that meant. Was it the bond, twisting his emotions to its purpose? If that were
the case, then Remus would likely feel the same way, and he certainly wasn�t
acting like it, lately. That could mean that Harry�s feelings stemmed from
something else, and were entirely his own�

Remus was
having difficulty sleeping, as well. Harry wasn�t speaking to him, and he was
trying to give the boy his space, but�the need could not be erased. He stalked
the youth through the halls and in the garden, moving so carefully and
sinuously that Harry was completely unaware of the man�s presence. He watched
as Harry sat in the den, reading another one of Snape�s loathsome texts. His
eyes followed every insignificant movement; a page slowly being flipped, a
tongue running across a lip, a hand brushing back an errant lock of hair. Remus
was going mad. The slavering wolf within was directly at odds with his logical
consciousness. He wanted the boy�not just in bed, he had to admit, but to hold
and to share with and to indulge�but he also knew that everything had suddenly
become very complicated, and great discretion was imperative.

He couldn�t
let anything happen to Harry. He promised himself that this was the reason he
shadowed the boy, and it had nothing whatever to do with the wolf�s unslaked
lust for its mate. Being banished from Harry�s company was leading to all kinds
of problems for Remus, only one of which had anything to do with the kinds of
activities that eventually led to orgasm. For one thing, it was so much easier
to castigate himself about the situation when Harry wasn�t actively trying to
distract him. He was spending more and more time examining and re-examining his
actions, his inappropriate desires, and his often conflicting role as Harry�s
guardian.

Sometimes
at night, he could see Sirius in his mind�s eye, shaking his head and arguing
passionately that Remus ought to find the nearest tower and throw himself off,
since it was the only honorable thing to do after having deflowered the boy.
Other times, he saw James�s horrified face, shaking his head, eyes pleading to
know how Remus could abuse his trust so badly. Strangely, the least-upsetting
image was Lily, her green eyes flashing, her sharp movements and angry demands
only serving to bolster Remus�s faltering sense of justification. Lily,
he would think, closing his eyes to focus on hers, you�re wrong. I would
never hurt him. And he�s NOT yours anymore�he�s mine. Can you understand that?
He�s mine! He came to me, not the other way around. It was wrong of me to have
let it happen, but that�s beyond help, now. Now we must learn to live with it.
If we can. But that, of course, was when his own oft ignored conscience
rose up to do battle with him. Because he knew, deep down, that he could
give Harry up, if he had to. He could let the boy go, and build a life
of his own. He simply didn�t want to. He simply�didn�t want to.

The last
night they would be staying in the cottage, Harry drew Remus aside. �This
paranoia concerning kitchen appliances has got to stop,� he informed the man
seriously. �I know you care about me, and that you�re trying to heand and I
appreciate that, but for God�s sake, don�t do this. Don�t lock me away like a
princess in a tower, afraid of all the little things that might happen to me.
It�s unreasonable. This equipment is not unfamiliar to me,� he continued, after
a pause and a deep breath. �I was raised by Muggles. They made me do a lot of
the cooking. I would like to contribute to�you know, making this whole ordeal
easier on us all. This is not a battle of wills, Remus. I mean it. I�ve been
doing a lot of thinking, about the�about the whole werewolf thing. About the
way you are, and the way I am, and about the reasons we might be this way. You
have this�dominance thing going. I can understand that. Hell, I�ve even been asking
for that, and in no uncertain terms, so I�ve no right to complain about it
now.� Harry shut his eyes for a few moments. This was very difficult. He was
naturally very stubborn, and Remus was not. Or hadn�t been, up until the
mating. Now things had changed between them, and Harry wasn�t always sure he
liked it. It was frightening, letting someone have that kind of power and
control over him. On the other hand, if it was going to be anyone, he would
prefer it to be Remus�

It just
would have been so much easier, if overt submission never entered into it in
any way. �If you don�t want me in the kitchen, I will accept that,� he told the
man through gritted teeth. This had better work, or he was going to be very
unhappy about having said such a thing. �But I�m asking you, Remus, will you please
let me make dinner tonight? You can supervise, even, if you like.� He snapped
his mouth shut, biting off the rest of what he wanted to say, which ranged from
�You damn stubborn werewolf, stop treating me like a five-year-old,� to �I
promise I won�t accidentally blow myself up with the oven before Voldemort can
get to me.�

Remus stared
at the boy, astonished. That was�decidedly mature of Harry. If Remus didn�t
agree to the compromise, he�d seem like an obstinate bully. Harry�s suggestion
had veritably wiped all of the werewolf�s arguments away. Reluctantly, he
nodded. �I�all right. I can�just watch. I just don�t want anything to happen to
you,� he reiterated, trying desperately to explain his persistence to the boy.

Harry gavem a m a rather cynical half smile, effectively stopping him saying anything more.
Remus felt his stomach clench in guilt as he watched Harry move about the
kitchen, getting out the things he�d be using for dinner. Yes, you don�t
want anything to happen to him, his conscience repeated sarcastically. You
just want to be the alpha. You just want to be the dominant one. It isn�t about
his safety at all, is it? You�ve just been letting the wolf run your mouth,
haven�t you? Remus flushed at the realization his motives might not be as
pure as he�d assured himself. Really, it was just an oven. Harry�d seen plenty
of them, he was sure. �You�re beautiful when you�re absorbed in something like
this,� he suddenly blurted, and Harry glanced up from the cookbook, surprise
written on his face. A slight pink crept across the youth�s cheekbones, and he
saw Harry carefully hold back a smile before replying.

�Well,
perhaps you ought to let me do this more often, then.� With a wry twist of his
mouth, Harry looked back down at the book.

After a
while, Remus offered, �Anything I can do to help?�

Harry
looked round. �Well�you could dice the vegetables,� he proposed, thinking it
better to give Remus a �dangerous� task he wouldn�t want Harry doing on his
own. He was a little confused when Remus seemed to smile gratefully, taking the
vegetables over to the chopping board.

They�d been
working for sometime, chatting companionably, when the Potions Master appeared
and interrupted. �Ah�� the man sighed from the doorway. �Back to playing happy
families and making obeisance to that�Muggle woman. What was her name? Julia
someone or other. Child. Making obeisance to Julia Child now, are we? How very
sweet. So. Harry. How are you getting on with the book I lent you?�

Harry
clenched his teeth. Why was it that the man could not stand to see
anyone else happy, even for a moment? Why did he always do his best to rip
other peoples� pleasure to shreds? Why was it that he seemed to derive
amusement from trying to turn Harry and Remus against each other? Not looking
up, Harry grated out, �Shut up, Snape,� and was startled to realize that
Remus�s lips had echoed his own words, albeit much more quietly.

�Don�t you
speak to me like that, Mister Potter,� Snape began. �Lupin may have chosen to
accept whatever vitriol and disrespect you give him; he has no choice, after
all. It is very difficult to make friends when you are likely, at some point,
to maul them. I have to assume that�s the reason he rolls over for you at every
turn, at any rate. I, on the other hand, am not prepared to��

�Severus,
that is enough,� Remus told him in a dangerous voice.

�Indeed?�
Snape did not look impressed. He was leaning against the doorframe, one brow
arched, eyes glittering in an entirely unpleasant way. Harry jerked his eyes
back to his preparations, swallowing uncomfortably. Did Snape suspect
something? How could he not, with the way Harry and Remus had behaved around
each other lately?

�Don�t
annoy me,� the werewolf muttered to the man, although he now sounded more tired
than intimidating.

Snape
ignored him completely, walking up to Harry and stopping by his elbow. �Rest
assured, Mister Potter, that your insolence towards me will not go unpunished
when term starts,� he said in a cold, menacing voice.

Remus
grabbed the man�s arm and spun him around. �Are you threatening the
boy?� he demanded.

The Potions
Master tried to jerk his arm away, his face filled with outrage. �It is obvious
that you have no control whatever over Mister Potter, and you seem to be making
the serious mistake of letting the child��

�Whatever
mistakes I make are not yours to compensate,� Remus growled. He glanced at
Harry, who was ignoring the scene with fine disdain�something he probably
learned from Snape, Remus realized with some consternation. Letting a breath
escape his teeth in a long hiss, he kept hold of the man�s arm and dragged him,
protesting, from the room. Remus didn�t know if he�d be allowed to stay near
Harry throughout the school year, but he damn well intended that the boy be
treated civilly whether he was nearby or not�and it was time Severus had that
explained to him.

Harry
watched his teacher be hauled from the room, snarling acidic contempt all the
way. He�d strongly considered speaking up, but he was really quite weary of
fighting all the time, and Remus was�rather sweet, when he was being
protective. He listened to the voices rising in anger in the hallway, and a
loud thump that nearly made him drop his spoon. Casually stirring the broth, he
ignored the scuffle. Smirking, he tasted his creation, deciding it needed a bit
more tarragon. He resolutely kept to his task, unheeding of any of the noises
coming from outside the room. After all, he reasoned, if I�m
going to let Remus be the dominant partner, then I ought to get SOME kind of
benefit from it�

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

By the time
the three of them sat down together to eat, a grudging peace had been restored.
Snape was trying to hide the relish with which he devoured his meal, and did
his best to completely ignore Remus at the same time. �You might have left off
a bit more of this gravy,� he complained to Harry, scraping some of it off.
�The only people who need to drown their meat are the ones that haven�t cooked
it correctly.� He gave a sneer in Remus�s direction, but the werewolf did not
rise to the bait.

�I like the
gravy,� Harry replied, shrugging. He had tactfully refrained from saying
anything about Snape�s eye, which might have to remain black until he went back
to Hogwarts for the night and could have it magically healed. It wasn�t so much
magic that it would draw the Death Eaters to them; it was only that Remus had
confiscated the man�s wand, with the promise that he wasn�t getting it back
until Snape agreed to behave with some semblance of courtesy. Harry overheard
this discussion with amusement, and concluded that this was the equivalent of a
lifetime sentence of wandlessness, but the man shocked him by attempting to be
somewhat polite, in the hopes of getting it returned quickly. Harry suspected
this had something to do with Remus having hidden the floo powder, and that as
soon as the Potions Master was restored to either his wand or his method of
communication with the Headmaster, he would revert to his normal, belligerent
self, but at least it made for a passable meal.

After
dinner, Snape cornered the werewolf in the den, and requested his wand in a
tight voice. Remus barely flicked a glance at him before going back to his
evening paper, heaving a great sigh and�sounding for all the world like a
particularly old-fashioned father whose son has requested the car keys�asked,
�Are you going to behave towards Harry with a modicum of respect?�

Harry could
hear Snape�s teeth grinding. �I will attempt to restrain myself from damaging
the boy�s fragile psyche, so long as he keeps his impertinent tongue still in
my presence.�

Remus
flicked to the next page. �Not good enough,� he pronounced.

�Why�you��
The Potions Master was almost incoherent with ire, and Harry knew that he would
be trying to take the wand by force, if Remus were not endowed with werewolf
strength. Taking a noisy breath through his nose, Snape appeared to master
himself. �Surely you realize, Lupin, that if I do not appear at Hogwarts very
shortly, the Headmaster will undoubtedly send someone after me. Then where will
you be?�

�Mmm,� Remus
responded noncommittally. �That should be embarrassing for you. Whatever would
the Order think; Severus Snape, the great spy, who cannot even keep hold of his
wand?�

Snape�s
sallow cheeks coloured just a little. �Give it back, damn it! You�ve no
right!�

�And you�ve
no right to persecute Harry for every injustice James perpetuated on you!�
Remus snarled, standing. �All you have to do is let go an old, overripe grudge.
Let Harry alone�that�s all I�m asking.�

�Fine!
Fine! I�ll leave him be, then. Satisfied?� Snape�s voice rose a pitch. �Now hand
me my wand!�

Remus
looked at him a long, doubtful moment, before finally handing over the slender
wooden object. Harry held his breath, certain that Snape would hex the werewolf
into oblivion, but the man merely snatched it back, glaring. After a moment, he
spoke. �And the floo powder?�

�Under my
bed,� Remus informed him coolly, and Snape waved his wand to retrieve it.

Just before
Snape disappeared into the fire, he told them with great resent, �I shall be
arriving to help pack early tomorrow morning. We will be expected at the
Weasleys� right around noon. I�ll expect yoth oth up and ready to leave upon my
appearance. Is that understood?� He looked self-righteously over his shoulder,
the proud and vicious Potions Master once more.

�That will
be fine,� Remus agreed softly, and Harry nodded assent. With a bitter jerk of
his head, Snape disappeared into the fireplace, leaving the pair alone for the
night.

Harry
turned to Remus, who seemed uncertain and awkward. Remus cleared his throat and
sat down, picking up his paper, although Harry noticed by the way the pages
shivered that the man wasn�t as comfortable with the boy�s presence as he
pretended. �So. I suppose you�ll have plans to read tonight?� the man asked
nonchalantly, and Harry smiled.

He perched
on the armrest, looking down at his mate. �Thank you for letting me fix
dinner,� he told Remus quietly. �I didn�t make a catastrophe out of it, you
might have noticed.� He noted that the man�s ears turned rather red.

�Yes. Well.
Thank you for fixing supper,� the werewolf replied in a stiff voice, and Harry
felt the anger rise up in his throat, choking him.

After all that, he STILL can�t see how perfectly
innocuous it is? He still can�t admit that I�m capable of looking after myself?

Remus sighed and lowered his paper.
�Harry�I�m sorry if I seemed unreasonable. It wasn�t my intent to alienate you,
or to imply that you were a helpless child. I merely meant to keep you
safe�sometimes I�m�well. I�m not as well versed in all things Muggle as you
are, and I don�t trust them. Sirius always thought Muggle objects were a great
laugh and�it led to the occasional mishap. It just�frightens me whou�rou�re
messing about with something that I don�t understand. I suppose the problem
isn�t on your end, but mine�all the same, I�d still appreciate it if you�d
humor me in this.�

He looked up ouslously, and Harry
realized he was wearing his reading spectacles, which Harry found very sexy.
The youth had to swallow before answering. He�d�sort of won. He�d gotten his
way, and Remus was treating him with more respect�explaining things rather than
making unrealistic demands. He felt the tension drain from his shoulders. �I
nk Ink I see,� he said solemnly. He reached a tentative hand out to caress the
man�s face, and Remus�s eyes fluttered shut. �But really, Remus�in the future,
could we try discussing things before you order me about like a drill sergeant?
It�s disconcerting, and kind of�you know�insulting. Every time I turn around, I
find myself fighting for or against something�it would be awfully nice if I
didn�t have to fight you, too. I�m willing to listen to you, if you�re
reasonable and ready to make concessions now and again. I just want a little
dignity, too, you know. Especially when there are other people around. It�s
hard enough to get Snape to treat me with anything like respect, without you
laying into me, too.�

Remus smiled a little ruefully. �I
hadn�t considered that,� he admitted. �I could see you were upset with me, but
I thought it all stemmed from disliking someone having that kind of authority
over you. Oh, Harry. I apologize, and I�m willing to�well, I can�t promise
never to order you about, but I will agree to keep the arguments behind
closed doors, if it would help.�

Harry nodded. �Just try to see
things from my point of view, is all. And I�ll try not to throw anymore fits,
and never in public, but�if you treat me like a child, it�s hard not to act
like one.� He leaned over a little, resting his cheek on Remus�s head.

Remus put an arm around the boy and
pulled him slowly into his lap. �Is this all right?� he whispered anxiously. He
relaxed a bit when Harry nodded against his chest. �I promise to modulate the
way I phrase things in the future,� he proposed, and Harry looked at him in
confusion. �I mean I�ll try not to talk down to you,� he amended. �I won�t
simply forbid you to do something without discussing it first.�

Harry smiled, relieved. That was
exactly what he�d been wanting. �Thank you,� he said vehemently. �You don�t
know how much that means to me.� He wrapped his arms around his wolf�s neck and
kissed him firmly. Remus seemed to pull away, and Harry blinked at him,
worried. �What�s wrong?�

�Harry�� Remus bit his lip, pulling
his glasses of and setting them aside. �Perhaps we oughtn�t�er�perhaps we
should back off a little bit. You�ll find, as you grow older, that you want
more and more of your own space, and I want you to have the freedom��

�Remus,� Harry interrupted, �that
isn�t what I meant��

�I know you didn�t. I�ve simply
come to the realization that what we�ve been doing might be very harmful to
you, in the long run. Harry, you know your parents would not have approved of
this, and I can�t say I have any effective argument.� He pinched the bridge of
his nose, missing the scowl Harry shot at him.

�Oh God, you�ve been thinking
on it, haven�t you? I should have known not to leave you alone long enough to
let you start beating yourself up about it. It was almost inevitable. Look,
Remus��

�No, Harry. You look; your father
would kick me round the countryside if he were alive, and I�d deserve it.
Sirius would barbeque both of us. Your mother would never forgive me. I don�t
think��

�You think too much,
actually,� Harry responded. �And I don�t care what they would have thought,
because we�ll never really know. They�re dead, Remus. I�m sorry, but
it�s the truth. And�� he trailed off, wrinkling his nose, trying to form a
decent argument. �You do yourself an injustice, by thinking about what they
would say,� he finally put forth. �You can�t defend yourself against that,
because you�re really only arguing with yourself. So tell me that you
don�t want to do this, if that�s the case, but don�t fob off the responsibility
onto your dead friends. Whatever they might have though doesn�t enter into it,
because things have changed. Do you think any of them could have foreseen what
happened in that dungeon? I want you, Remus. I need you. Shouldn�t I be
the one whose opinion counts?� He leaned forward, resting his forehead against
the werewolf�s, and looked unhappily into his eyes.

Remus held his breath for a long
moment. �I can�t tell you that I don�t want this, because that would be a lie.
But that doesn�t mean that I think it�s right.�

Harry kissed him persuasively.
�Don�t say that,� the boy begged. �It is right. It�s the only thing in
my life that�s ever felt so right.�

Remus closed his eyes, allowing the
questing tongue entrance for a few delicious moments. �I don�t know if it�s
right or wrong anymore,� he admitted, defeated. �But I want it all the same.
God help me, I want it still.�

Harry frowned before attacking the
man�s lips with renewed vigor. �You don�t have to make it sound as though I�m
corrupting you,� he told Remus crossly.

A ghost of a smile traversed the
man�s face. �I�m afraid I�m the one
corrupting you, which was rather my point,� he said, then moaned as
Harry�s hand slipped down, cupping the bulge in his trousers.

< !su !supportEmptyParas]>

�Well, if that�s the case,� Harry
replied with an impish smile, �I�d be more than happy to switch roles with you
for the night. He undid the top button on the man�s pants, and then another. He
loved the way Remus�s breath hitched, and his hands clutched the armrests
desperately. Such a model of restraint. Still, Harry had seen him lose said
restraint, and enjoyed watching that even more, so he set about making it
happen again. Working Remus�s prick free from its constraint, he dipped his
fingers in the precum and began smearing it around the head, until it was
shining with pink opalescence.

color:black'>Somnia Lustre: I love the werewolf plot device, too. I realized
that Canon!Harry isn�t very submissive, so I decided to inject mine with a bit
of �oomph� to add to the complications in their relationship.

Poicale: I�ve tried to keep an even amount of responsibility with
both of them for the whole problem. That way, no one goes; �That Remus is being
such an ass! This is all his fault!� It seems more realistic this way. Remus
was forced to be a bit more �hands off��of Harry, that is, in this chapter, but
the next one should be fun and dirty.

Jemma Blackwell: If I can find the time, I�ll make a list. A lot
of my favorite authors aren�t on FF, though, but PSA or wishforthemoon or that
type of thing.

Eric2: I�d wanted to do a scene with Snape in a car since I wrote
TMP�this entire chapter was merely an excuse for him to yell, �DO YOU WANT ME
TO PULL THIS CAR OVER?� Which, I think, was necessary for my continued
existence.

Tigris T Draconis: If Voldemort does sing, what do you
suppose he prefers? I�ve had several suggestions of Brittany Spears so far, but
I could also see him doing Christopher Cross, or even Toby Keith. Seriously
evil.

Quills 'N Ink: I�m trying to stay on top of it, but sometimes time
just gets away from me.

E-Vector: I finally do have bits and pieces of plot�and thought
behind it, as well. Sorry about making the boys suffer, but it�s mostly due to
misunderstandings and their own stubbornness. I get the feeling Remus is
usually pretty introspective, so I had to use the wolf as a reason he�d shy
away from his own motives for most his his chapter. Still, they seem to be
doing better, no?

&n]>
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Research and Development Part I; Hunger