Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Secret Bliss	By : InfernalParadise Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 7081 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
I got struck by my muse yesterday during a wedding and could only take short notes in the church (all those people like to think I'm mad by now, sitting in the church and writing down english words... *lol*) and now I gotta catch up with her since she's still in a terrible hurry.

This chapter is longer again, quite tragic, but don't worry - I don't intend to let any of the characters actually jump out of some window (although Hogwarts is the ideal place for commiting suicide or getting killed without so much as even moving a finger).
I intend to explain further things later on (such as "Lucius' other bedchamber"...) - otherwise this chapter would have gotten too long.
Enjoy - and review!! Thx. :)

Oh, and if anyone of you is interested in my other two posted stories (Phantom of the Opera) - please read and review!! At the moment it takes much effort to write on this story cuz I'm actually more into PotO, and you can do more things with those character there. On the other hand, my muse is busy and nice, so no lack of ideas here, and in a certain way Lucius is like the Phantom, just without mask. Which means, I'm saying this man has enormous, mental troubles!!! *lol* You never know what it's about Lucius until he's got another mood change... and the bleaching doesn't do him any good, either - gets on the brain... ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 8

Facing the Truth

I awoke with a dull headache, unable to say how many hours, days or years had gone by meanwhile, but Madame Pomfrey still looked the same as she smiled down at me. Slowly I recognized the familiar hospital wing of Hogwarts again, giving me a weak feeling of being home. Yet nothing inside myself felt safe, let alone home. I had not only lost my being as a Sephor out there, but also most my emotions that turned me into a hollow shell by now. My memory, however, was complete which hurt me more than anything else. I didn�t want to remember what I had lost, what I had done during those last minutes of my immortal life. If only I could reach the window behind my bed, I thought, and jump out of it. The height was too perfect. Never worrying anymore, never hurting inside like this anymore. Just nothing. Extensive, painless darkness for eternity until my soul faded away, but even then I wouldn�t notice it.

Madame Pomfrey handed me a glass that was filled with a green potion � probably mixed by Snape.

"Drink this� you will feel better afterwards", she promised with a smile, but seemed to know as much as I did that it would only release the headache and not the pain that drowned my insides. I obeyed, though, handing her the emptied glass and leaning back into the pillows.

"How much time has passed while I was unconscious?"

"Two weeks."

Some time ago, two weeks would have meant nothing to me, but now I almost found my body shaking at the thought that I had just lost two weeks of an anyway short, mortal life. I had always been as old as the world, and suddenly I felt like having celebrated my eighteenth birthday just yesterday. How old was I actually? How old was my body?

When Madame Pomfrey disappeared shortly afterwards, I lifted the blanket and my clothes to find out that my body hadn�t changed the least. And yet it felt like my worst enemy because it was new and had never belonged to me that way before. I rose with little difficulty to walk to the huge window behind my bed and glance through the glass. Quidditch � I should have realized that already before because of the cheerful screams that came from the field. When I lifted my hand to open the window, I realized that I was wearing clothes I didn�t know. Two weeks ago I would have smelled its owner, now I was only able to guess that they probably belonged to Hermione. A few birds flew away almost startled at the sound of the window being opened, and I tried to ignore the stitch in my heart that reminded me of how those little animals would have reacted to me two weeks ago. I leaned forward to inhale the fresh air that smelled different than I had it in mind, the clear audible curse of one Qidditch player ripping me out of my dark thoughts. There was life after death, I realized without accepting it, though, and somehow I would find a way to live it.

"I see you are already on your feet", Madame Pomfrey�s content voice startled me. I was used to feel other people�s presence before they even know they would be heading to somewhere.

"Which teams are playing today?"

She didn�t even glance out of the still opened window to answer me.

"Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. It�s already the second game with the new Quidditch teacher."

"New?"

"Oh yes", she looked at me in obvious amusement, "And I dare say that Mr. Malfoy is probably the best Hogwarts has ever had. Besides, he�s an excellent help for Snape teaching Defense against the Dark Arts now as well."

I sat down on my bed again at the confrontation with so many news. Lucius was teaching at the same school I was in. And Snape had the subject he had longed for probably since the day he�d become a teacher.

"But who�s teaching Potions now?"

"Still Professor Snape. The Headmaster agreed on letting him teach both subjects for Mr. Malfoy shares the Defense against the Dark Arts lessons with him."

"Oh my", I sighed at the sheer imagination of both of them teaching one subject together, but Madame Pomfrey laughed at my confused expression.

"It�s a bit much, I know."

Suddenly a few images of my last night being a Sephor returned to my mind.

"How�s Harry?"

"He was a bit shocked after all those events, but right now he�s already playing Quidditch again. I think he managed to work it out."

"I�m glad he passed out during�", I trailed off as I didn�t want to say anymore, "And Sirius? Is he alright again?"

"Oh yes, Ms. Crossdale. At the moment, he�s staying at the Weasley�s place to fully recover. I�m sure you�ll meet him at Christmas."

"They found Voldemort", Madame Pomfrey said, obviously not longer avoiding his real name, "or at least what was left of him. And yes, Harry was probably lucky to not witness it. As for Sirius, I can assure you that he is well by now again. The wounds he suffered were grave, but not deadly. And now go off, Vivienne� I�m sure there�s plenty you want to find out on your own�"

On my way to the kitchen I noticed the strange looks of the paintings on the wall. I had never experienced them being so quiet before � almost as if they felt how much I had changed and now didn�t appreciate any comments about it. Around the next corner, I almost bumped into Hagrid who grinned widely which lead to the conclusion that Gryffindor had most probably won the game.

"Vivienne", he said, the happy expression on his face being washed away all of a sudden. Instinctively I knew that it had been him who had found me after Voldemort�s end. I didn�t know why � but chances were that Dumbledore had sent out the people he trusted to bring us to Hogwarts when he had felt that Voldemort was finally dead. In any case it was the first recognition that showed that I was not completely hopeless in my mortal form.

"I�m glad you�re back", his voice sounded unusual quiet at those words.

"Thank you, Hagrid", I couldn�t help but embrace him as much as I was able to reach around his gigantic body, hearing how he sobbed at that movement. When I retreated to look up at him, he smiled despite his deeply touched tears.

"We won again. And tomorrow we�re gonna show those cowards from Slytherin where to hide from us!", the happiness in his voice made me laugh.

"Hagrid? Which day is today?"

"Thirteenth of December. A Friday if you want to know. And only five more days until Christmas Holiday."

His wink assured me that he was probably happier about that fact than most students. Hagrid and his child-like side, I grinned to myself, watching as he continued his way to inform anyone who wanted to know and anyone who didn�t that Gryffindor had made it once again. A couple of students hurried past me to get into the big hall where dinner was supposed to take place in a few minutes. The hunger I had felt shortly before disappeared because of the imagination that probably all of Hogwarts would stare at me if I sat down next to Harry and the others. I was prepared to return to a life I had never known, but I wasn�t ready for anything it contained, yet. Therefore I chose another direction than the one that lead to the hall and wandered around without actually having a destiny. It felt good to simply walk again after two weeks in a bed, although I noticed that even the way my feet moved had changed. About ten minutes later I arrived in front of the Potions classroom that was as abandoned as the corridors.

"Ms. Crossdale�"

Snape appeared seemingly out of nowhere, causing me to jump. I had expected him to be in the hall, having dinner with the others, thus his appearance was something I really hadn�t counted on.

"Are you looking for someone?"

"No", my stuttering voice annoyed me, "At least I don�t think so."

He glanced at me in a scrutinizing way before softening his expression.

"Running away from being in the hall with the others?"

"Honestly, yes."

"I could mix you a potion if you want me to", Snape suggested, "but I suppose it has to come by itself."

"Does the school know?"

"About you and Mr. Potter?"

"Yes."

"They know that you were involved and probably saved Mr. Potter�s life. But rumors say that it was a higher power that killed Voldemort."

"You all say his name", I noticed.

"There�s nothing to fear anymore. Voldemort is dead."

"So am I."

"No", his voice was so sharp it almost cut the air, "The Sephor died in the forest, but you are still alive. It will be a hard way, though, as you�ve never learned how to do any magic. You will need to catch up on a lot of things now."

"I don�t even know the easiest spells because anything came naturally", I tried to defend myself in a weak attempt.

"Don�t worry too much about that, Ms. Crossdale � there is plenty of time and possibilities to learn it. If you will excuse me now� there�s dinner I don�t intend to miss."

Snape left me in front of his classroom with a feeling of emptiness. Actually, I didn�t deserve to be at Hogwarts as I wasn�t even sure if I had the ability to do magic. Being born as a Sephor didn�t mean that I was a witch as well. Maybe it would be best to leave the magical world, I thought bitterly. Leaving to never return. After all, I could live a normal life among other mortals. And besides, I wasn�t even sure if Lucius still wanted me after anything that had happened. In my childish little dreams I had expected to wake up with him sitting next to me, never regarding the fact that it would have been utterly cruel and stupid to force him to a mourning state for two weeks. Anyone knew that I�d be alright again � it was only a matter of time when my body would be well enough to have me waking up � and I truly couldn�t expect from them to not continue their lives. And yet� I wanted pity because this cursed mortal soul inside me screamed for it. Finally, I had become what my mother had always wished for without knowing that it would come true in such a way. Being a magical creature hadn�t succeeded in making me happy, therefore I could only imagine how little happiness a mortal life would bring me. It was a curse however I tried to look upon it, it eventually dawned on my already desperate working brain. And yet there had to be a way out of it, a chance to end it. With the biggest certainty I had ever felt, I quickened my pace to reach one of the corridors beneath Hogwarts� roof where the windows were far enough away from the ground to make sure a jump out of one of it wouldn�t end in the hospital wing, but the cemetery. What I hadn�t expected, however, was Lucius walking around the last corner that separated me from my hopeful destiny.

"Vivienne", he smiled before approaching me, "I was already searching for you."

I glanced at the window behind him that screamed to my soul to not let him interfere now, and Lucius frowned at my hectic expression.

"Is there something you need to do right in time?", he asked half jokingly � a fact about him that would have warmed my heart had it not been for the state I was in.

"Jumping out this window", I replied almost desperate because his presence enraged me. Judging by the way I spoke those words, he immediately noticed that this was no joke. At that point, however, I didn�t care about Lucius anymore, but rushed past him to open the large window, only to have a strong pair of arms holding me back and pushing me against the nearest wall. I wanted to raise my hands to no doubt hurt him, but found myself unable to move at all. Only then I saw the wand in front of me that had put a spell on me. The window was still inviting me in a seducing voice, increasing the pain I felt at the desperation that I couldn�t reach it.

"I rather have you under my spell", Lucius� voice came to my ear in a slightly annoyed tone before he picked me up and carried me downstairs into a big room � obviously his while being a teacher at Hogwarts � that lay near the dungeons. He made sure to tie me firmly to his bed until the spell faded away and I found myself able to move again.

"You arrogant bastard", I spat at him. The only result during my following curses on him was that he put a silence charm on the room and locked the door with another spell.

"Are you finished?", Lucius simply asked me when I ran out of insults, and started to undress which made me shake with fear.

"Don�t even think of it�"

"But I do", his eyes narrowed at the anger in my voice, "I�ve had two hours of Quidditch and I need a shower."

With an arrogant snort he passed me by and disappeared in the bathroom, letting my ego shattered in pieces. Had I truly expected Lucius to rape me? Either I was on the best way to become insane or I wanted to escape into imaginations that kept me away from the real world. Both cases weren�t very hopeful for my future anyway. The sound of running water reminded me of the uncomfortable situation I was in and I spent the time utterly unsuccessful with trying to get free from my bonds until Lucius returned with a towel around his waist.

"I don�t want to anymore", I complained wincing and he murmured some spell that freed me.

"Just in case you still want to kill yourself", he informed me while dressing, "There are no windows in this room and the door is locked."

"I hate you."

"Of course you do."

Before I could lung forward to reach him, he had already pinned me onto the bed with his body, thus keeping my hands from hurting him.

"I�m well aware of what you lost, Vivienne", his soft voice surprised me, "and I will do whatever is in my power to help you getting through it, but it�s no help if you plan on killing me or yourself."

Truly defeated, I gave up to have Lucius embracing me tightly. He felt expectedly familiar, yet I caught my body reacting to his as if it were the first time I actually experienced such closeness. In a couple of seconds Lucius undressed both of us � which was no hard task considering the fact that he still wore nothing but a towel � and suddenly I started feeling unwell. The dull pain in my stomach reminded me of the same nervousness we both had dealt with during our very first night. That had been over two years ago, my mind scolded me. And for fuck�s sake, it was right� I had been with Lucius so many times at different places as well as in rather different positions, and now my body acted as if it was near running amok because of panic. Probably just another aftereffect from having been in bed for two weeks, I tried to calm myself down unsuccessfully. Lucius felt my unease, but seemed to blame it on the same reasons as I did, for he didn�t stop sliding his hands across my body. Any other woman would have killed for being in my position that moment no doubt, however, when he kissed me impassioned and furthermore slipped one finger inside me, I suddenly had the explanation for my weird behavior even before Lucius realized that he had just pushed against a barrier inside me. My painful movement caused Lucius to freeze immediately.

"That�s new", he said in astonishment as well as confusion which showed me that he hadn�t expect me to change much besides my magical abilities, either. "You are�"

I cut him short by raising and grabbing the blanket to cover that foreign body I somehow had been forced to own. Lucius looked at me, the surprise still present in his eyes, but finally he raised a hand to stroke over my face.

"I love you no matter what, Vivienne."

"Now only the more, I suppose", my bitter reply came that obviously hurt him.

"Don�t misjudge me like that", he growled.

But I got off the bed, wrapping the blanket carefully around myself before remembering that Lucius had locked the door by magic. For a moment, my mind tried opening it the way it had done for centuries, only to have the bitter realization of my present state hitting me once again. There was nothing left that made this foreign life worth it and I wouldn�t waste years in a mortal form to suffer until death released me. My emotions got the best of me that minute, turning me into a weeping, pathetic thing I couldn�t even recognize anymore. Obviously Lucius did so, though, as he got up and simply held me for what seemed like hours, all the time whispering soft words of love and affirmations of it to me.

"I won�t ever push you into anything, Vivienne. The way you are now doesn�t change the way I feel for you for I can wait until you�ve grown accustomed to it. I believe you will let me know whenever you are. Even if your feelings might change � I still love you. I always will", he finally told me while locking his eyes with mine. It was the truth, I knew, and nothing else needed to be said.
- 7
- 8
- 9
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Secret Bliss