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To Have Not	By : MontanaDan Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 22763 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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To Have Not

Chapter 8 - Manipulations

Harry made his way down the stairs towards the library. Thankfully, the house was still. All the guests from the previous night had departed and the clean up staff had finished. Despite the quiet, Harry's head was still killing him.

He feared his headaches were getting worse. At first, Harry had attributed this particular headache to Sirius� whinging about being placed in the Hissing Room, something he didn�t feel he deserved, despite disrespecting Lucius by parading Grant around in front of Harry. But now Harry suspected that his headaches were a great deal more sinister than that.

After Harry and a smug Lucius had shown Sirius and Remus to a different room, Lucius had seduced him. Afterward, Harry went back to his room and was forced to rely on his headache potion to relieve his pain. Having numerous guests staying over night and the house elves cleaning up prevented him from venturing down again to find a cursed item. Harry was now starting to wonder if his headaches were directly related to having sex with Lucius.

His Snape-like inner voice kept trying to tell him he should better schedule his headaches for before the sex. But Harry ignored it because the sex was quite good, thank you very much. And Lucius still hadn't given Harry any slack about Harry leaving right after.

Harry just couldn't remain in Lucius' bed though. He had always adored the after glow time with Severus, talking and touching. He just didn't want to get that close with Lucius. He wouldn't set himself up like that again.

The library loomed large and promising before him and Harry breathed a sigh of relief as he entered. The matchbox was all used up, but he searched until he found something else. Harry silently prayed that Hermione and Severus would find something soon.

*******

Severus shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he waited for the door to be opened.

Stop touching your hair. It's fine.

Severus rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe he had taken more time to prepare himself for this particular meeting than he had for last night's party. Draco had been suspiciously helpful, confirming that Lucius would be out most of the afternoon. Draco had also made quite a production out of saying that he'd love to see Severus, however, he had appointments until early afternoon and could Severus arrive early and wait for him?

The door opened and the house elf bade him to enter. Master Draco wasn't back yet, Severus was informed, but Master Harry was in the library if Mr. Snape would like to wait. Severus dismissed the elf, telling it that he knew the way.

From the doorway, Severus could see Harry, moving slowly along one side of the room. One of his hands was stretched out towards the shelves as he moved, waving his hand in an odd fashion. As if he were looking for a draft or-

Or feeling for Dark magic?

Severus acknowledged that it had to be what he was doing. Harry stopped at one particular object, paused for moment, and then picked it up. Closing his eyes, his hand tightened around it and he took a deep breath. After a minute, he sighed, his face relaxing.

Smiling now, Harry tossed the little statue in the air, caught it and replaced it on the shelf.

Seeing Harry smile - genuinely smile - for the first time since that day at Hogwarts-

That day you broke his heart because you are a coward, you mean?

--and before he could stop himself, his breath caught at the sight. The small sound alerted the brat to his presence.

Harry spun around quickly, his wand in his hand. Severus barely ducked out of the path of the hex in time.

"Potter!"

Harry straightened, breathing heavy from the quick dose of adrenaline. "Damn it, Severus. You know better than to sneak up on me."

By Merlin, you trained him well.

"What the hell are you doing here anyway?"

"We need to talk," Severus said.

Harry ran both hands through his hair and Severus could see him reining in his power. Another sight that amazed Severus. Harry's eyes closed and the air around him quivered as he calmed himself.

After a moment, Harry returned his attention to Severus and asked, "About what?"

"About your headaches."

"I'd rather talk about why you dumped me," Harry said, crossing his arms. A familiar stubborn expression crossed his face and Severus felt honored just seeing it. Harry let his masks down for him again.

"I told you-"

"I know what you said," Harry said, his temper flaring. "I could repeat every bloody word. How could I possibly forget? What happened to sacrificing it all so we could be together?"

"Potter-"

"All those times you went on about how much we risked; getting caught by the Headmaster, getting caught by Voldemort, and when it was all over and it didn�t matter anymore who found out, you dump me? It doesn�t make any sense!"

"Potter-"

"I need to know why!"

"Harry-"

"Explain!"

Now is the perfect opportunity, you twit. Don't blow it.

Severus tore his gaze away from Harry's impassioned face. "There were other issues-"

"Other issues? What other issues? What could be more important than our happiness?"

What an excellent point.

"I don�t wish to go into it."

"WHAT?"

"I-"

"You don�t wish to explain why you broke my heart?" Harry crossed his arms. "Well that�s unacceptable."

"It is."

Harry blinked.

"It is unacceptable and embarrassing and I don't wish to discuss it."

"You don't?"

Oh, how like you, Severus. You don't want him to know you're a fool, so you perplex him.

"Was it all a lie?" The catch in Harry�s voice nearly broke Severus� heart all over again.

"Do you possibly think I could fake that when I've never felt -" Severus cleared throat and crossed his arms. "The issue at hand is not-"

"Oh yes, it is." Harry stepped up to him, glaring up into Severus' face. "Does that mean that you still lo-cared for me and yet you dumped me?"

It's a simple direct question. Just tell him the truth.

"Yes."

Harry blinked. "So what are you saying? You want me back?"

Severus looked away. "I would not expect to be taken back."

Liar.

Harry looked truly confused for a moment. "Then what do you want?"

"I want the best for you. Lucius is only using you. If you bind yourself to him, you will be in his power for the rest of your life."

"I will be bonded to him, but-"

"If you think that Lucius will let you go after the binding - anytime after the binding, then you're deluded. You are a trophy to him."

"So what? It's in the contract."

So there is a contract!

"You don't care that he shows you off like a prized possession?"

"Why should I? He's good to me. The sex is great." Severus flinched but Harry's anger was rising again so he probably didn't notice. "I have complete privacy here and I'm looking into being trained as a curse breaker now," Harry continued undaunted. "I could have anything I want. He'll give it to me."

"At what price?" Severus asked softly.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Like it's a real hardship for me to be lavished with expensive gifts and taken to the finest places in the wizarding world so he can maintain his family status."

"But you hate the public attention. At least you used to."

"Lucius buffers it for me. He handles everything." Harry almost sneered, "It's perfect."

That should be your job.

Severus voice dropped at the thought. "And when was the last time you flew?" he asked softly.

Harry looked away.

"When was the last time you saw a Quiddich game, or went to visit Hogwarts?" Severus pressed on. "And what about seeing the world? Going places?"

Harry still couldn't look at him. "You can't have everything, now, can you?"

"Harry-"

Harry looked up, the mask back in place. Steadily, he said, "I really think you should leave now."

"And what about your headaches?"

"What about them?"

"You should really see someone about them. And you should tell Lucius."

"Fine. I'll tell Lucius. He'll get the top medi-witches and wizards on the case and I'll be fine. Happy?"

No! Bloody fool. You should have just kissed him first.

Severus took a step towards him. "Don't mock me, Potter. It's for your own good."

"My own good. I have-"

"Listen to yourself, you ungrateful brat." Severus was standing over him now, but Harry didn't back away, although he flinched.

"I feel fine now," Harry said. "Actually I feel bloody great - for the first time in a long time - so why don't you take your abnormally large nose out of my business."

**********

Draco stood silently outside the library, listening attentively. So it was true. Severus Snape and Harry Potter. He felt like laughing, but knew it was not a laughing matter.

He edged closer to the door to peer in. He saw Severus looming over Potter, Harry standing his ground stubbornly, both of them breathing heavily from shouting and the emotion palpable in the air.

Harry hadn't been that animated in - well, Draco couldn't remember seeing him like that since they�d left Hogwarts. His father�s fiancé had been decidedly subdued during the whole time he�d been living at the manor. And Severus�well, normally Severus would never show his temper. The potion master expressed his displeasure through his glacial stare and acidic barbs. He rarely raised his voice. And he looked�

Draco squinted. Actually, he looked like he wanted to shove Harry against the wall and-

Draco quickly curtailed that thought. When it began to sound as if Harry would really throw Severus out of the house, Draco decided it was time intervene.

"Harry, you're not being very nice to my godfather," Draco said, announcing his presence.

Harry startled at the intrusion, and looked away, his face coloring. Severus took a step back, away from Harry.

Draco stepped further into the room. "And your godfather wasn't very nice to my father last night," he added, inserting a random subject to help dispel the unease in the room.

Harry looked up, smiling slightly. "Actually, your father received his compensation for that," he said.

"Oh?" Draco inquired.

Harry nodded. "He put them in the Serpent Suite."

"Did he?" When Harry nodded again, Draco added. "I shall have to convey my regrets to my cousin the next time I see him then." He turned his grin to his godfather. "Now, Severus, you mentioned you might have a parting gift for me."

"I'll just leave you two alone then," Harry said.

"Harry, wait," Draco tried to stop him but Harry left quickly. "Damn," he muttered at the now closed door.

"Draco, what are you up to?"

"Nothing," Draco replied. "Oh, by the way. Did you happen to get my father's order?"

Severus blinked, looking suspicious of the sudden subject change. "Order?"

"Yes," Draco said casually. "He mentioned that he sent you an order for a potion."

"Did he say what it was for particularly?" Severus asked, his interest suddenly intense.

Draco shrugged. "Just something for Harry," he explained, watching Severus' face. "He said it was sure to make Harry feel like he belonged to a family here."

Severus suddenly looked as if he'd been hit with a flummoxing hex and Draco was careful not to show his satisfaction. Part two of his plan was now instigated. He hoped that part one of his plan, initiated that morning, would have the same kind of success.

********

Lucius returned home in high spirits. He wasn't sure why Draco had sent him off to the family archives, but the results had been very auspicious. He was eager to find Harry, not only to share his newest information, which would no doubt brighten the boy's spirit, but reacquaint himself with the imp's charms.

Having Harry Potter was becoming quite addictive. Lucius' memories of their passionate encounters were enough to heat his blood, no matter where he was. Just knowing the boy was in Lucius' house, available and responsive at any given opportunity were just too tempting by half to ignore. Nor did he have to.

He found Harry in the sitting room, looking withdrawn.

Lucius frowned. "Is something troubling you, Harry?"

Harry lifted his gaze from the fire, his expression oddly bland. "Professor Snape was here this afternoon," he said.

Weasley fireworks going off in the room couldn't have equaled the impact that statement had on Lucius. His chest clenched up. NO! Bloody Severus. He turned slowly to face Harry, not wishing to spook him. Harry was chewing on his bottom lip, obviously distressed.

"Did something happen?"

Harry�s eyes fell.

Damnation! Lucius had to play this correctly. "It wouldn�t surprise me if he tried something," Lucius said. He added a heavy sigh. "He always wants what�s mine. Ever since� - there was a man � David, I believe. He was involved with Severus for a while and was always trying to improve Severus."

"Improve?" Harry exclaimed, as if horrified.

"When Severus didn�t � wouldn�t � change, David moved on to something better."

"You?"

Lucius shrugged broadly. "It could have been anyone but because it was me, I believe Severus still harbors some hostility in that area. He has always wanted to pay me back in kind."

Harry looked dubious and a little skeptical.

Lucius moved into the room. "What did happen, Harry?"

Harry sighed and stood up. With paced to the fireplace and stared into the flames. "We argued."

Lucius studied Harry�s profile. He looked torn. This could be it. What Lucius wanted - Harry�s honesty. "About?" he prompted.

Harry glanced up. "Lucius." Harry�s voice cracked and he cleared it. Lucius stepped up to him and took his hands. Harry pulled them away and backed up until he hit the wall.

"Harry," Lucius said softly. "It�s all right. Nothing could change what we have now. Our agreement will still stand. I still want our plans to proceed. If you do, that is. I want you to be happy here � with me."

"Prof-" Harry looked up into Lucius eyes. "Severus and I were �" he looked away again. "We had an association."

Lucius blinked. An association? By Merlin, that was cold. Severus could be cruel. "Severus is the one that hurt you?" Lucius asked quietly. He kept his expression neutral.

Harry looked at him again, his own expression carefully contained. He took a deep breath. "I know why he did it," Harry said. "It kept me alive and gave me the strength of will to kill Voldemort."

"Harry-"

"I needed it," Harry went on. "He did what he had to. He did his duty. I-I-" He took a deep breath. "It�s over."

"Harry." Lucius reached for him, but Harry moved away again.

"Look. I�m sorry I didn�t tell you. I�ll understand if it makes a difference."

"Harry." This time Lucius took a hold of Harry�s arm and didn�t let go. "It makes no difference to me. You are still the same man."

"But he�s your friend and Draco's godfather."

Carefully, Lucius nodded. "We�ve been through a lot together. He has done a lot for my family � especially recently. As have you." Lucius caught Harry's gaze and held it. "But I have no reservations about continuing with what we have started."

Harry nodded but he was biting his lip. "There's something else."

"Oh?"

"My headaches."

"What about them?"

Harry swallowed. "It seems that I was actually cursed by Voldemort when he died. The backlash or something. Hermione is trying to get more information on it, but�"

Lucius didn't know what to think of that. "And what are the repercussions?"

"Well, I've sort of been snooping around the manor."

Lucius wondered what one had to do with the other. "And?" he prompted.

"Well, I, er, my scar needs dark magic. I- um, I've been going through your things lying around here "

Curious now, Lucius asked, "You can tell which ones are dark?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, my scar tells me. Anyway, my magic pulls the dark curses from the objects to um, feed my scar's need for dark magic."

"Fascinating," was all Lucius could think of to say. Was Severus going to try to help Harry? Lucius wasn't sure he liked that.

Harry looked up. "You're not angry?"

Lucius sighed. "Well I'm disappointed you didn't tell me about it sooner, being cursed by the Dark Lord makes a definite impact on any relationship." But as long as Harry was his, Lucius would be sure to take care of it.

Harry hung his head. "I really didn't find out that it was an actual curse or whatever it was until after our negotiations."

"I can imagine." Harry looked up again. "In all honesty, you haven't shown yourself as the type to ask for help in most things."

Harry looked away.

"Is there anything else I should know?"

Harry shook his head.

"Very well." Lucius paced slowly. "You'll have to bring your friend - Hermione - here to take a look at my library."

Harry's head jerked up. "Really?"

"Of course, my resources are far more - extensive - in that area than even Hogwarts."

"No, I mean, you'll allow Hermione into your house."

Lucius smiled then; glad he could do something to make Harry happy after his confrontation with Severus. "She is your friend, is she not?"

"Yes, but she's muggleborn. I'm even surprised you wanted me to marry you. I mean I thought you were a snob."

Lucius chuckled. "My dear Harry, I am indeed a snob. In your case, it didn't take much to discover that you were quite acceptable for my family line."

"How's that?"

"While the Potters are pure, your mother was hardly a mud � er, muggleborn. Was your mother being a witch that great a surprise to her parents?"

Harry appeared deep in thought. "Actually my aunt said how pleased her parents were to have a witch in the family," he said. "They must have known about our world."

"Of course they did. Rose Evans, your great grandmother was a very powerful witch. Alas her son was a squib who married a muggle. I find it hard to believe that your aunt or at least your cousin don�t show signs of magic."

"Believe me, it�s better that they don�t," Harry muttered.

Lucius smiled knowingly. "So you see, Mr. Potter, your blood is very acceptable to my name."

"And if it wasn�t?"

Lucius waved it away. "It hardly matters now, does it?"

"True everything is already signed." Harry looked up. "So you found something in Hermione's heritage that makes her acceptable to associate with now too?"

"Indeed."

In as much as Harry would have preferred that Lucius wasn't a bigoted snob, he was relieved that he wouldn't have any problems inviting Hermione to the manor. He wondered if he should ask what the 'acceptable' link was in Hermione's background but decided against asking at the present time. Lucius was already being very amenable, Harry didn�t want to press his luck.

"So you've been cleaning my house of dark curses for the last week?" Lucius asked.

Harry face heated up. "Well, only a couple pieces from the library. That room is strewn with stuff with curses on them."

"That does not surprise me. Come. Show me. I'm intrigued now to see what artifacts I possess that have been cursed."

They moved off into the library and Harry wondered if this would be a good time to ask Lucius if he could hire Bill to train him in curse breaking.

*********

The next day Harry found himself back in the Library, but not for the same reasons. He felt like a great weight had been lifted off his chest. Lucius knew about Severus now and wasn't angry. In fact, he had taken the news better than Harry had imagined. Lucius had also set up an appointment for a Dark curse specialist to come from St. Mungo's to do a couple of tests on Harry's scar (all in the strictest of confidences of course), and he had agreed to pay for the Gringott�s training from Bill, provided that Harry was satisfied with the course.

Hermione had wasted no time in accepting the invitation to the manor and was now scanning the shelves of the vast collection. Book after book found its way into separate piles for further investigation.

"So when does this specialist get here?" Hermione asked, her eyes skimming over the bindings of one shelf.

"This evening," Harry told her. "I think Lucius made it an open invite to dinner as well so it could be anytime now."

Hermione nodded. "I can't believe some of these books, Harry," she gushed happily, pulling another one from the shelf and flipping through it.

Harry nodded although she didn't notice as he plucked at the arm of the large winged back chair he relaxed in. The scene almost reminded him of his fourth year at school and Ron wasn't speaking to him. He and Hermione had spent a lot of time in the library then too. The difference this time was that they were pouring over Dark Magic books and Ron was at work.

*********

Draco stopped outside the door. It was becoming a habit with him. Harry had wasted no time taking advantage of the new knowledge, clear by the voice accompanying Harry's inside the room. Draco smiled. Potter was a predictable sap.

With a fortifying breath, Draco entered the room. "Harry," he said as he entered. "Granger."

"Hey, Draco," Harry said. "Is the doctor here?"

"Yeah," he replied sauntering in to look over the books the two had strewn over the table and sofa. "He's with my father in his study."

"It's not Pye, is it?" Harry asked.

Draco smirked, recalling that smarmy doctor who had attended Harry right after the final conflict. "No," he said. "His name is Llewellyn and he's supposed to be the best."

"Yeah, I figured that," Harry muttered. He stood up and stretched. "Are you staying for dinner, Hermione?"

Grang- Hermione's gaze shifted uneasily to Draco, and then back to Harry. "Um, I don't think so."

"It's alright, Granger," Draco said trying to sound aloof. "We don't bite you know."

"Have you seen Harry's throat." She immediately smacked her hand over her mouth. "I mean, no. I really can't."

Despite the color infusing her face, Harry snorted and Draco chuckled. "Well, not all the time anyway," Draco said.

Hermione walked Harry to the door and they whispered for a moment.

"Run along, Potter," Draco said. "I happen to be a very gracious host and I can take care of your friend."

Harry said something else to Granger then left to go to Lucius� study. Hermione turned back hesitantly.

"I'm sorry about the mess," she said, gesturing towards the books she had piled up in various stacks around the room.

Draco shrugged it off. "Most of these books know where they belong," he explained. "It shouldn't be difficult re-shelving them. I'll help."

They began putting the books back to their rightful places and Draco eyes followed Hermione as she bent and stretched.

"So," Draco said at length. "What have you found out so far?"

Hermione was cautious and vague so Draco took a deep breath. "Look," he said, dropping a stack of books on a table for effect. "I want to help. Harry and I have moved passed our adolescent feud and, if all goes according to my father's plan, he's going to become a Malfoy."

"Malfoy - Draco-"

"Please, let me help," he said. "I can help."

"I know. I'm sorry," she said, having the grace to look embarrassed. "I-wait a minute," her eyes narrowed, "What do you mean, 'if all goes according to your father's plan'?"

Draco fought his smirk. "Let's just say that I'm aware that there are�extenuating circumstances and I just want the best for all those I care about."

Hermione blinked at him then looked suspicious again. "You know about Harry and�and�and-"

Draco lifted a brow. "And Severus?" He decided he rather liked the stunned look on Hermione Granger�s face. He nodded. "Yes. I've suspected for a while, but Harry finally admitted the whole thing to my father."

She crossed her arms. "And?"

Draco sighed. "And let's just say I'm not prepared to watch my father throw his life away on someone who will never truly loved him. He's done that once already - with my mother - and-"

"So you do want to get Harry out of your father's life," Hermione said, a smug and triumphant look in her eyes, as if she thought so all along.

With a frustrated gesture, Draco dropped into a chair. "What is it with you Gryffindors?" he said with exasperation. "I thought that you, at least, would-" He stood up. "Frozzy," he called.

The elf popped into the room. "Yes, Master Draco?"

"Bring the lady and I some refreshments before dinner," he instructed, but because of his guest he added, "Please."

The elf bowed. "Yes, sir. Right away, Master Draco."

Draco turned to Hermione. "Please have a seat, Hermione," he said, graciously indicating a chair. "We really need to talk."
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To Have Not