Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Web of Redemption COMPLETE	By : FemmeBono Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 3455 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Chapter 8: The
tighter the weave, the softer the feel
    As the weeks passed and
things settled into a routine, Cassie found that her nightmares lessened.
Further, she felt much less jumpy even during the day and her thoughts seemed to
wander back to that basement room not nearly as frequently. Still there were times when she
heard a snatch of conversation about an attack or someone would surprise her
coming around a corner when she felt her system kick and that clutch of fear
rose up again. Sometimes she could still feel the hands of her tormentor upon
her and she bore down, fighting back the nasty feeling of shame that came with
it. Yet even though she felt she was making progress in "getting over
it," there were nights where it all came slamming home again. It was on one
such night that she lay, writhing and whimpering in bed, and woke to find
someone sitting on the edge of the mattress shaking her arms and calling her
name. She jolted straight up, tensing all the more and pushing for all it was
worth against the chest of the man who was entirely too close. Gasping for
breath and struggling against his firm grip, she was seconds from biting down on
his hands when it set in where exactly she was.

    "Wake! Cassandra, Iris,
whatever your name. No one's got you!"

    "God! God!
Severus?" she panted, scooting back against the headboard as a light flared
on at the end table. Her heart still racing, Cassie crossed her arms over her
chest and stared wide-eyed as he stood. "What are you doing here?"

    "I was returning your
dog, yet again," he said, shifting as if he was unsure of whether to stay
or go. "You screamed. And I thought for a moment...but there you were
thrashing about...and you said his name. I thought I should wake you. I fear,
however, that may have made it worse. My apologies. I'll leave you to--"

    "No! Wait. Please, sit?
Just for a minute, until I can relax again." She gestured toward the
foot of the bed. Instead he summoned a chair from the corner. Lump,
meanwhile, sensing that calm had been restored came in from the doorway where
he'd retreated and hopped on the bed, lying down in the spot she had offered
Severus.

    "Usually by this point
at night it's so dark. The fire's usually gone down and I can't summon a light
or anything. And it helps just having someone here."

    "It may be preferable, I
can get one of the ladies, perhaps Minerva--"

    "No! Please... honestly
I'd prefer it was you. Anyone else I'd have to explain to and even then they
might not understand. Besides...it kind of helps that you're a guy. It just
feels a little safer and at least on some level, I like to think you
understand."

    Saying nothing, he instead
turned to the fire and pointing his wand said, "flagransantis,"
causing the flames to leap back to life from the embers they had become. "And
does that chase the shadows away?" He gazed back at her, eyes glittering in
the firelight.

    "Much better. Thank you,
Severus."

    They each sat silently
regarding each other for a moment.

    "Don't you ever want
someone to talk to about it? Like everything that you've done and seen and lived
through just gets to be too much for your shoulders alone and you need someone
to carry it with you?"

    He shifted in his seat a bit,
making her afraid she'd offended him by trying to invite such a confidence. Afraid he would get up and leave, she
started to speak, but instead he looked away staring at the coverlet on the bed
and Lump already snoring soundly. "There are any number of times I've wanted to
quit the whole charade. But I cannot. Not only because I am the only one who can
accomplish many of the things I've been forced to do for the good of the Order,
but because it is my duty and obligation. The difference between you and I,
Cassandra, is that every foul memory and waking nightmare you are tortured
by--every dreadful experience you have lived through--is, at the end of the day,
nothing to do with who you are. It is not what you deserved to have happen. For
me, instead they are simply retribution. Every vile thing that has ever
disturbed my slumber is nothing that I did not deserve and it is my penance to
carry it on my own."

    "You can't possibly
still blame yourself after all these years for something you didn't realize the
implications of--"

    "Are you mad woman?! Had
I not been so weak in the first place as to find myself in the position of
groveling and scraping before a murderous madman, none of this would have ever
happened! Do you know how many people would still be alive?"

    "Do you seriously think
he would have stopped with Lily and..." she stopped, unsure if she should
continue, but at the pained expression on his face, she felt it must be said.
"He may have killed them regardless, simply because Pettigrew cleared the
way. In fact, I'm sure he would. They were part of the resistance against him;
surely that was enough. The question is how many people have lived because of
the things you've done for the Order? And how many more will live because you
are helping in the fight? What retribution you had for such a childish and blind
mistake was covered years ago. What you've worked so hard at ever since you've done not
because it is some kind of penance, but because there is plenty of good in you.
Severus..." She waited a beat, until his eyes met hers, "you're the
best man I know."

    Almost imperceptibly, he
shook his head, but she continued on, pulling the covers up to her chin. "I had plenty of lucid moments at
that nasty manor house, during which any number of Death Eaters came and left.
There is a vast difference between them and the man you are. You and I are more
similar, I think. Both of us were used and manipulated by greedy, black-hearted men for their
own ends and both of us have been left to scrape up the pieces. Whether we
deserved it or not, and mind you, neither of us did, we are both damaged. But
Severus, neither of us are broken. And before you protest at my supposed na�vet�,
just remember: I know all your secrets and I still believe this."

   "That said," she smiled
a bit, hoping for a change of subject and mood, "you do intimidate the hell
out of children."

   A corner of his mouth quirked with
what may have been a flicker of pride. "It's a gift."

   "Working with this age group,
you didn't ever decide you wanted five of your own?"

   "Good lord, woman," he
scoffed. "Would you?"

   She laughed at that.
"Honestly, no, not when they're this age. I did work as an aide for a
kindergarten class and they're so little and cute that I did want to take a
few of them home in my pocket. Once the hormones start flowing though, all bets
are off. I don't know why I wound up taking secondary ed, now that I've spent
time in a classroom with that age group. Too late now I suppose."

   With that, they successfully moved
on to abusing some of the more notorious students, swapping tales of things they
had experienced over the years. She told him the story of a classroom discussion
gone wrong. In talking about the subject of deceit for a story, she had
had a group of fifth graders use their mothers as a real-life example, as the
women had claimed they were going church or to visit a friend's, only to go out
to the clubs instead when of course their children knew better. Severus regaled her with stories of potions gone awry and
students turning themselves purple by taste-testing when they shouldn't. When
her eyelids finally started to droop and he left her with the roaring fire and
lantern still burning on the nightstand, Cassie told herself as she drifted off
to sleep that she had at least accomplished one thing that evening. She had been
rewarded with a smile.
- 7
- 8
- 9
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Web of Redemption *COMPLETE*

Web of Redemption COMPLETE