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That which we make for ourselves	By : magentasouth Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Tom Views: 38078 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I neither own nor profit from any part of the Harry Potter universe

Chapter List
- 1-That which we make for ourselves
- 2-Ch 2
- 3-Ch 3
- 4-Ch 4
- 5-Ch 5
- 6-Ch 6
- 7-Ch 7
- 8-Ch 8
- 9-Ch 9
- 10-Ch 10
- 11-Ch 11
- 12-Ch 12
- 13-Ch 13
- 14-Ch 14
- 15-Ch 15
- 16-Ch 16
- 17-Ch 17
- 18-Ch 18
- 19-Ch 19
- 20-Ch 20
- 21-Ch 21
- 22-Ch 22
- 23-Ch 23
- 24-Ch 24
- 25-ch 25 - provisional
- 26-Ch 26
- 27-Ch 27
- 7
- 8
- 9
�you will work with me� Tom
informed him, leaving no room for debate.�

Not that Harry would have debated working with the best
student in the school in a subject where team projects accounted for more than
half the final grade.� He nodded and
smiled slightly.�

He was, he realised, a little nervous for no rational reason,
at the thought of seeing Slughorn again.�

It was stupid.� He was the one who had
gone into the past.� Slughorn wouldn�t
know him from Adam.�

Still.. there was a low
burning tension as he stood against the stone wall outside the potions
classroom with Tom and most of the knights.�
Not present were Roan, Palmer and Antonin,
none of whom took potions.�

Tom seemed to examine him thoughtfully.� �You will have no problem in this class� he
said softly.�

Harry doubted that anyone else heard it.�

A whooping gaggle of rowdy students approached from far down
the corridor and Harry saw Tom frown slightly, his lips tightening.� �The Gryffindor apes approach� he announced
under his breath. �

Harry looked at him reproachfully and, astoundingly, the sapphire eyes wavered
almost regretfully.�

The noise did seem to get a lot louder the closer they came
though and, in comparison to the quiet calm Slytherins
� who were probably so at Tom�s command, Harry thought uncharitably � the Gryffindors
did sound a bit like animals in a zoo.��

An elbow nudged him in the ribs and he looked sideways at Gyphus who grinned and leaned in to whisper.�

�Tom�s little bit of fluff is in this class.�
Wait till you get a load of her..�

Harry looked at Tom quickly. �Elana
is in this class??� he asked, not sure why the thought set him on edge.

Tom gave him an unreadable look and nodded slightly, confirming it.�

�You�ve met her already?� Gyphus
smirked, his eyebrows raised.

�Er.. sort of.. yeah�� Harry offered back, looking away from Tom
uneasily.�

Gyphus snickered softly.� �Hot piece of tail but not too bright, is she?!.� Watch how she
sinks her painted claws into him the moment she gets here.��

Harry felt a strange inner agitation and frowned slightly.�

Seconds later a glossy haired blonde flew past them both at
speed and tossed herself at Tom, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting
a completely inappropriate kiss on his lips in the middle of the corridor.�

Tom swept her up and kissed her back.�

They were..utterly breathtaking together..
Harry thought with a sick little stabbing feeling inside.� Two perfect creatures.�

A wonder to behold.�

He could hear a couple of people sigh somewhere around and glanced at Gyphus who was watching him with interest.

�What?� he said grumpily.�

The brown eyes laughed silently as the boy shook his head slightly, his deep
brown shoulder length wavy hair shivering in the movement.� �Nothing.. nothing..� he replied. ��

Harry folded his arms and wondered what the time was.� Bloody slughorn.. could at least come on
time.� Could be writing
that stupid paper for merrythought right now.� Bet we�re making something stupid
anyway.� Good god..
are they still
kissing?� Holy fuck.� Get a room already.�

That thought somehow made the little clenching feeling inside grow a
little.� He imagined what they would look
like.. together.. naked..and it was just horribly
painfully perfect.� And he just knew that they did sleep together.�

It had been obvious that that was what Elana had been gagging to do when she�d turned up on
Saturday.�

Maybe Tom would blow off helping him today to do that instead.�

And..he couldn�t honestly blame him
really � look at her.. she was fucking beautiful.�

All that angelic shiny blonde silky-straight hair..
and she had huge
blue eyes and..big breasts..tiny
waist and her ass was kind of the perfect little shape to cup.� Of course
he�d rather go fuck her than talk
about bloody arithmancy and charms that he probably understood years ago.�

God.. Harry found he felt like such
a disgusting little retard.� Nobody could
be blamed for not wanting to be around him.�

Unlike Tom..

Probably no one would ever want to
touch him unless it was to use him
somehow...like Ginny.�

Only he wasn�t famous here.� Nobody would
ever even want to use him anymore.� He
was nothing.�

And they were STILL kissing.� Fuck!�
He wanted to hex them apart and turned his head away, suddenly relieved
to hear the low rather jolly greetings and comments from Slughorn as he
approached.

�Yes.� Right here.� My apologies.� Got a
bit caught up on the way.� Still.. at least some
of you seem to be putting the time to good use� the fat prat smirked, glancing
at Tom and Elana who were no longer kissing but were
still embracing. �

Harry looked away again scowling and narrowed his eyes at Gyphus who seemed �amused beyond all reason. �

Slughorn bumbled the door open and exclaimed �Well then.. come along.� Lets
see what we�re up to today.��

He paused then though and gave Harry a sidelong look. �Mr..Piper, wasn�t it?�
Yes.. yes.. well.. we�ll see about you.� Come along.��

They all filed in under-enthused and Harry wandered off to
the side somewhat, unsure where he was even supposed to go.�

�Caed.� Over here� Tom called, walking over to the
last desk on the far right.�

Harry scowled slightly.�

The expression deepened when he got to the potions bench and
Tom said in a low voice �what have I told you about that face in public?��

He narrowed his eyes at him at the comment and then looked away, not
responding, turning away from the broad smirk of Gyphus
too, who was standing at the next bench along with a distracted Abraxas busy
flipping through a book in some other language � Arabic he thought.� Hard to tell from the
distance.�

Elana and some wavy haired
brunette Gryffindor girl were in the far right front row � two benches ahead of
he and Tom.�� The
blonde kept glancing back and smiling at tom flirtingly.�

Harry thought he might be sick from the darling perfection
of it all.� He wanted to stomp up to her
and say �hey!... your boyfriend has killed at least
four people that I know about already
�probably quite a few more, I expect. He�s going to be the blackest wizard of
the age!� You don�t know the first thing
about him and you�re not bright enough to even notice anything off.� Hell you probably wouldn�t notice anything
off about him even if he summoned the basilisk right in front of you.� You�re a stupid ridiculous piece of jewellery
for his mask of the perfect student, the perfect young wizard, the perfect head
boy.� So stop bloody fluttering your
eyelashes and face the front you daft tart!��

Instead he sniffed and folded his arms snippily, focusing on
Slughorn who was bobbing back and forth around his desk like a small tethered
balloon in a gale, pulling out various books and bits of parchment.�

�Ah.. here
we go� Harry saw him mumble.�� Ok
now.� Settle down� he said distractedly
as the Gryffindors started to socialise at top volume again, since nothing was
immediately happening.�

�Just what is wrong with you� Tom�s voice hissed by his ear,
sharper than he had heard it since the head boy had utterly destroyed him after
they�d been to Diagon Alley.�

�Nothing� he responded shortly.�

�Then tell me why it is you�re wearing a face like a smacked
bum, right now� Tom hissed, his breath ghosting over Harry�s ear.�

He couldn�t help it.� The image was too
funny.. he cracked a grin and
scowled twice as hard resentfully, trying to bring his traitorous mouth back
under control.�

He jolted slightly at the hand that slid around him and landed on his left
shoulder and folded his arms tighter determined to ignore it.�

A small part of him inside was confused and wondering why he had even been
upset.� The rest of him was already fully
committed to the snit and wasn�t feeling like questioning why he hated Tom�s
fucking guts again.�

�Don�t touch me� he growled low.�

He heard a soft sigh and then a half second later hands on
his shoulders turned him firmly to face the future Dark Lord.�

His expression was not pissed off, as Harry had fully
expected it to be (and hadn�t fucking cared either way, of course!)

Tom actually looked faintly pleased and infinitely patient.

He moved his head, catching Harry�s eyes and holding them.� �Caed.� It�s nothing.� He said softly.� �Nothing.� Don�t let it bother you.�

Harry frowned and looked away.�

The hands on his shoulders released him lightly and he turned back to face the
front.�

Bloody nothing.�� Whatever.� He struggled to pinpoint what he was actually
angry about right now and failed.�

It left him with a mildly irritated and confused feeling.� He only had the vague conviction that it was
somehow all Tom�s fault.� But Slughorn
had obviously found whatever he was looking for and was ready to get started so
Harry�s attention was drawn away at that point �

�Alright Class.� Yes.. ok.. Settle down now.� Good.� now then � I�m certain that this potion isn�t entirely
unknown to any of you, and some of you may have even brewed it before.� Nevertheless � it�s on the required
curriculum and therefore, irrespective how undemanding some of us may find it-�,

the walrus faced man glanced in the direction of tom and him,

�we�re going to be brewing Amortentia.��

Harry blinked, surprised even as half the class, mostly
girls, gave little happy sighs and a number of
students groaned in irritation.�

He�d already brewed that in sixth year.� The curriculum must have changed over the
years.� Slughorn had said that some of
them would find it unchallenging � maybe it had become a sixth year potion in
time because of that.� �

He glanced at Tom who wore a neutral polite expression.� The git turned to Harry then and murmured low.. �It�s just as well I suppose.� You
will brew this Caed and I will supervise.� I will intervene only if I feel you are in
danger of making an error.��

Harry sneered in a malfoyesque
manner but managed to bite off the snide little remark he�d been thinking.��

Tom�s head inclined just slightly warningly even so.�

�Fine.� He ground out, stomping
away from the table to join the others who were heading toward the ingredient
stores.��

He only had to check one ingredient; the rest he
remembered.� Tom stood back watching him
with an unreadable expression.�

When he started on the base, only checking the directions once very briefly, Tom
muttered �I take it you�ve made this before.��

Harry didn�t reply but cut the flobberworms he was
gutting a bit more forcefully than he absolutely had to.�

Tom was at his side in a second murmuring �check the directions� when he
started cutting their heads off and tossing them. Harry ignored him.�

Tom said, a bit more insistently �You have too many flobberworms and the heads are not to be severed.� Start over.��

Harry half turned and glared at him.� �I know exactly what I�m doing.� You�re right � I have made this before.� It�s been improved since your time now raff
off�

Tom�s eyes widened in shock and then narrowed.�

Harry swallowed but ignored the venomous look his ear was receiving from the
other boy.

�If you ruin this potion and cause me to receive anything
less than an...E..
you will see another side of me, Caed.� he threatened
in a low voice, standing very close to him.�

Harry shook his head slightly and jerked his shoulder to get
Tom to back off.� �yeah.
Fine. Whatever� he growled, placing the prepared flobberworms to the side.�

He pulled out the two peacock feathers and carefully severed the filliments from the needle again ignoring the faint bluster
of disgust from beside him.�

At the point where he pulled out a mortar and pestle and
started grinding the ashwinder eggshell Tom was
nearly apoplectic�

�Are you just making this up as you go along?!�
Do you even know what you�re doing?!�
Stop!� You won�t have enough time
to finish unless you don�t start over now!��

Harry turned to him thin lipped, confident in the half blood
prince�s skill.

�Why don�t you make the standard Amortentia then� he hissed, incensed. �That way, Slughorn
will be happy whatever the result.��

Tom fumed visibly but hurried off to do just that.� With him gone, Harry found he felt somehow
relaxed with events now.�

Screw him!� He knew what he was
doing.� The potion was practically the
same � the half blood prince didn�t often change the potions completely.. just offered different
preparation directions.�

When he thought about some of them they made a kind of sense sometimes..they usually got more out of an ingredient by using only
the important part or using more or less in some cases.�

While Tom set up next to him quickly and efficiently,
preparing the ingredients with a speed and precision he was forced to concede
was impressive, Harry set about carefully peeling the billywig
stingers, using only half the usual amount.�

After that he macerated the passion flower with the point of his (cleaned)
knife and removed the petals, discarding the rest. The budding rose petals he
did the same thing to.�

His base needed to simmer twice as long and so it happened that Tom was slightly
ahead of him by the time he was ready to add his reactive ingredients.�

Tom was avoiding looking at him as he scattered his freshly
plucked rose petals over the brownish mixture in his cauldron, causing it to
abruptly shift to lemon yellow as they sank, dissolving away.�

Harry gingerly added his macerated petals one by one, waiting for each to
dissolve before adding the next and the potion shifted in steps until it was
almost a mandarin orange colour.� He
ignored a further huff from the side.�

Tom was ready to add his final ingredient Harry saw.� Billywig stings
were the most sharply reactive ingredient of all.�

Glancing around the classroom he saw that most other
students had already reached this point.�
Some cauldrons were lidded, the samples already collected.�

Harry kept one eye on his potion, waiting for it to turn and
shift to purplish so that he could add the powdered ashwinder
eggshell.�

In the meantime, Slughorn was at Abraxas and Gyphus
table, peering into their shared cauldron with a slightly dubious
expression.�

�Weak.� You were
inexact when adding the ingredients.. and the colour is slightly off.� Did you remember to scourgify
your flobberworms?��

Gyphus looked guilty and the
moment Slughorn had turned away from them both, stating �A� dismissively, Abraxas
glared at Gyphus furiously.�

They were silent but somehow the silence was very loud.�

Was this how purebloods raged at one
another, Harry wondered.��

Slughorn was looking into his cauldron with a confused
expression.� �this...doesnt look right at all, I�m afraid..� he said
distractedly.

Harry gestured to Tom. �I�m making an improved version Professor.� We thought you might not like that so Tom�s
made the original version for you to mark if you are unsatisfied with the final
result.��

And in that second Tom�s potion shifted into a pale sky blue
and he dropped the five billywig stings in, causing a
sudden hiss and rapid shift of the potion into a pale pink hue.�� Opalescent steam spiralled upward and
Professor Slughorn nodded, smiling appreciatively.�

�Perfect as always Tom.� Not that I expected any less from you.� Now.. what was this about an improved
version?�� Improved in what way?� Tom?�
Can you shed some light on this?��

Harry interrupted, for some reason he couldn�t explain- not
wanting to let Tom admit to not knowing something.

�It was a project we worked on together over the weekend,
Sir� he interjected quickly. �-to see.. if we changed some of the preparation and brewing times,
whether we could make the.. the..potion..-�� Harry snatched up his
mortar of eggshell, tossing pinch after pinch in, just in the moment the potion
shifted to a deep aubergine.�

The result was immediate.� The surface bubbled as the powder was broken down almost
immediately and the potion continued shifting on smoothly until it was a bright
azure blue, at which point Harry hurriedly picked up his billywig
stings and dropped them very carefully from just above the surface of the
turbulent liquid.�

They didn�t sink as tom�s full stings had but were slowly,
very slowly dissolved from below, the potion gradually altering in hue until it
reached pale pink, releasing soft twirling spirals of opalescent steam, but the
potion continued turning until it was a fuschia and
the steam was thick and opaque and glossy.�

The half blood prince�s amortentia
was like a concentrated hardcore version.�
The steam alone flooded the
classroom, making everyone sniff slightly, appreciatively.�

Slughorn stepped toward the gushing cauldron in delighted
surprise.�

The shocked, impressed look on Tom�s
face was even more satisfying, before he fixed it to the neutral, pleased
expression of one who supposedly knew about the workings of the potion and
fully expected this effect.�

All this, Harry barely took in though, because he was
backing away from the cauldron in horror he could barely hide behind a rictus smile.�

The potion used to smell like dusty books, hot cocoa and hermione�s shampoo.�

He�d sniffed deeply in bittersweet anticipation of that..

and it did smell like dusty books at first.. but then.. it..didn�t
smell of cocoa or chocolate or anything of the sort..

it smelled of licorice..aniseed.. it smelled of absinthe..and
where he�d smelled the soft appley scent of Hermione�s
natural essences shampoo, now there was a darker..muskier
smell..

He couldn�t place it but he had the most horrible suspicion what it was and the
potion was wrong..

he didn�t...� he
wasn�t at all ...attracted...like
that... to... to him...� That was just bloody ridiculous.�

He glanced up at the despicably good looking Dark Lord in
question who was looking thoughtfully at the cauldron just as Slughorn himself
fished out a sample of the fuschia potion and lidded
the cauldron, shutting off the dizzying maddening steam and putting the
cauldron in stasis.�

�Well I never.. one
of the oldest potions and you�ve gone and ..perhaps
quadrupled its strength.� You�ll have to
tell me just how you did that.��

He looked expectantly at Tom who moved away to stand next to Harry.�

�It truly was a combined effort sir.� I cannot even take the larger share of the credit.� Caed is quite gifted in the art of Potions.�

He stood very close.� Harry could feel
their arms brushing and furrowed his brow in confusion at the absence of the
desire to shy away.�

He looked at professor Slughorn with what was
almost certainly wide dazed eyes. �Please sir..
could I go to the bathroom.. I..I
feel a bit dizzy.�

Slughorn�s eyes sharpened in
concern.� �Perhaps you had better go to
the infirmary.� Experimentation in
potions can be extremely risky.. You are both very
adventurous to have taken it upon yourself to do so.� And.. perhaps lucky also that you were not harmed.��

Harry shook his head faintly, desperately stringing together
what he needed to say to be allowed to leave and not go to the infirmary

�No.. just dizzy sir.. We�ve made the potion before.. Its.. I just didn�t have
breakfast and the steam was so strong.�
I�ll be fine if I get some air and splash a bit of water in my
face.��

Slughorn brightened as if the sun were coming out from a
cloud. �Oh.. excellent then.� Very well.� ..As a matter of fact � for your efforts you
may both leave early, if you wish.� I
would like you to write up a report on your experimentation if you please.
��

Harry nodded vaguely, fumbling to pick up his things. He
needed to pack up his equipment.. he..�

Tom�s hand around the top of his arm pulled his overloaded mind back together
momentarily enough for him to look up helplessly into the sapphire eyes that
were far too near. �Are you alright?� he asked softly, sounding concerned.�

Harry opened his mouth to respond but couldn�t.� He just shook his head pitifully.� �I need... I need to leave..�
he managed.�

The sculpted face glanced up and over his shoulder. �Gyphus.� Pack up our things and take them down to your
dormroom before you go to your next class.�� And then Tom was nudging him in the direction
of the door.�

Somehow he arrived upstairs and then he was in Tom�s room,
standing, blinking blindly and seeing nothing.�

He heard Tom putting the large pile of books belonging to
both of them on the desk but the meaning of it was lost on Harry.� He just stood numbly, his mind whirling in
uncomprehending horror, now that he didn�t have to hold himself together in
front of the class.

�Its not
true!� I don�t!� I don�t fancy Tom Riddle..
I don�t!� I�d never.�
Never never never.� I don�t
even like guys.� I...he�s Voldemort.� He wants to kill me.� I�d never think of him like that.� It�s sick.� It�s wrong
� it must be a mistake.�

Snape must have ruined it somehow.� Or.. or I made it wrong.� I don�t.�
I don�t!!..��

And then his mind actually stopped thinking at all in blind
panic as Tom was suddenly in front of him and he felt himself pulled into a
careful hug.��

He whined in the back of his throat helplessly, unable to
even find the strength to push away from the warm strong arms holding him.�

Tom was stroking his back comfortingly again and swaying slowly and It was as if something snapped in him.�

He put his arms around the taller boy�s waist and clung desperately, whimpering in a low miserable voice �It isn�t true.�

He felt Tom lower his face and then the smooth cool cheek
was pressed against his own burning one and it felt good. �Merlin help him � he liked
it!�

A gentle hand brushed down the back of his neck and he buried his face
shamefully in Tom�s neck and clung to him as if the ground could drop away
beneath him at any second.�

He didn�t even notice himself crying or the way he inhaled deeply against Tom�s
skin.

�It�s alright, Caed� the caramel
voice murmured next to his ear.�� He
shook his head numbly.�

He.. he..fancied.. Tom Riddle.�

The sudden image of Tom and Elana
kissing in the corridor seared his mind.�

Irrespective of ..of EVERYTHING in the future...Of all the
bloody blokes in the known universe he could possibly develop an insane
attraction against his own will to � He had to fancy the very heterosexual.. very taken Tom Riddle.�

The boy who was more controlled and disciplined than anyone Harry had ever
met.� And he cared so deeply about his
image..even if he was even the slightest bit gay � which he clearly.. demonstrably.. wasn�t � he�d never ever
in a million years allow himself to risk doing anything that might tarnish his
image as the perfect bloody school star.�

And..and even if he did.. he�d
pick someone like Abraxas or Alphard or something.. or the Gryffindor or Ravenclaw or
..hell.. even Hufflepuff equivalent to them.�

Someone beautiful and powerful and well seen;� someone with connections; someone that
would compliment his own perfection.�

The clenching ache inside offered him the strength he needed
to push away from the Tom�s warm embrace, turning and stumbling away a few
steps.� �Don�t..
don�t touch me..� he pleaded.��

When Tom followed him and tried to hug him again, obviously
seeing he was still upset and probably not knowing what else to do about it, he
dodged away, avoiding his eyes and hurried to the bathroom, shutting himself in
and sliding down the door to wrap his arms around his knees.�

This was terrible.� �What was he supposed to do?� Tom Riddle was the most intelligent person
he�d ever met.� He�d figure it out if he
kept staring at him with big moon calf eyes.��

�if he hasn�t already� he thought to himself
dismally.�

Tom moved away from the door again nervously.� Damn it.�
He�d been in his arms.. He�d been right there..He�d felt the way Caed
held onto him..pressed himself into him.�

Tom had been a half second away from turning his face and kissing him and then Caed had ripped himself away and told him not to touch
him.�

He�d seemed appalled..and now he was in the bathroom
and it was all Tom could do to stop himself from forcing his way in and shaking the frustrating little wretch
and then dragging him to bed and shagging the hell out of him until he screamed
in pleasure.� �

He�d..thought he had him..

It had seemed for a moment as if he�d... he had thought Caed ..might
perhaps have recognised something in the amortentia ..� Something that reminded him
of Tom. �

After the way the boy had carried on about Elana kissing him, it had seemed possible.� �

Merlin knew that for him
the entire room had been overpowering
with the smell of snow and pine and fresh strawberries and the musk of Caed�s skin.. the
sweet sharpness of his natural scent.�

He�d sweated as they trained yesterday morning and it had been perhaps the most
alluring thing that Tom had ever smelled..

afterward he�d sat, his cock
an iron bar, and listened to the soft sounds of Caed
in the shower.�

He�d managed to scratch out some arithmancy problems and apply a glamour to his trousers before the blonde stepped back
out, pink and fresh and damp with steam. �

Tom had barely touched himself under the shower and he�d come, gasping .� �

Smelling Caed in the potion hadn�t
surprised him at all.� He was already
well aware that he was blind with
lust for the naive , oblivious, idiotic, beautiful,
entirely intoxicating little twit.�

He needed to know what was going on.�

What was he doing in there?�

Had he..perhaps..not scented anything related to Tom?� Was it something else?� Had he just ruined everything in his need to hold him?�

At that moment the door cracked and opened slowly and a
different boy walked out.� He looked calm
and serious and blank.�

Tom felt whatever passed for a heart in his chest sink.�

�Caed?� he asked softly.�

The pale eyes met his emotionlessly and shifted away
again.� �I�m..
sorry.. for my reaction� the boy said softly.�

�I...there was a girl...I cared about very much... and she was...she died.�� A few months ago.��

It was difficult to smell the amortentia.� I didn�t mean to ...lose it...like
that.��

Tom felt the stone..the
cannonball.. in his chest grow heavier and he
responded stupidly

�oh.� I�m..sorry
for your loss.��

Caeds eyes narrowed slightly, just
for a second.� Tom bit the inside of his
cheek.� He�d said the wrong thing again
somehow.�

Caed had reacted badly when he�d offered sympathy for
his parent�s deaths too.�

Perhaps he just shouldn�t do it anymore if the boy ever mentioned death again.��

�Are you..ok?� he asked emptily,
feeling far from ok himself as the blond nodded decisively, turning and going
to the desk for his books and parchment.�

�So that was all it was then.�� he picked at the wound morbidly.��

Caed hadn�t felt anything for him at all.. seeing Elana
with him must have reminded him of this dead girl.. and
then he�d smelled her in the potion vapour.��

For a wretched moment he considered whether he might slip
down to the potions lab and take the sample of the amortentia
that Caed had brewed.�
He could..give it to him..� It was far stronger than regular amortentia, �Slughorn had said.� Perhaps ..perhaps it
might last longer.. perhaps it might be permanent
and..�

The idea died in his mind in horror.�

He felt sick.� Was he truly as weak as
his pathetic insipid mother?! � drugging the object of his desires because he
couldn�t win him by other means.�

He would never..ever
use that potion in any way, shape or
form.�

Positively ill, he
dragged himself to his bookcase, pulling out the text Caed
would need for the defense essay.�

�Here..� he said, hating how weak his voice
sounded.� �Chapter three contains
everything you will need on Surinaste�s cutting
curses....I�ll..go through it with you..if you like..��

The blonde shook his head, not looking at him.�

He�d ruined everything.� Caed must have realised his pathetic desire for him and it
revolted him.�

He..wasn�t persuaded..�

Maybe he wouldn�t have been in the forest either.� Maybe he was simply trying to protect his own
skin.��

Tom turned away and ran his hand through his hair
desperately.� He...he could obliviate him again..�

He let his hand fall away in defeat.� No..he wouldn�t obliviate him
again. �What good would it do?�� He couldn�t keep obliviating
him every time he failed.� He�d put him
in St Mungos within weeks. That...wasn�t what he
wanted. ��

He turned back to the blonde who was already bent, poring
over the text with the appearance of utmost concentration.� Knowing how little the boy derived from
reading texts, he surmised Caed just wanted to appear
busy so that he would leave.�

�Well...if you don�t want my help...is there anything else
you�d like?� A drink?� Something to eat?� �my pathetic foolish heart on a plate?��

�No.. thanks.� I�m good� Caed said
distractedly.�

Tom nodded, ignoring the painful stab in his chest again. �...very well then.�
I�ll..leave you to work.� He managed and
practically flew out of the room.��

Outside he had no destination.� He�d simply needed to be away.�� He should be in ancient runes after lunch,
he realised dimly.� He�d left all his
books in his room.�

He didn�t want to go to class anyway though, he realised.� His feet carried him outside of their own accord and after wandering aimlessly along the
edge of the lake he found himself following the line of the forbidden
forest.�

He knew where he was subconsciously headed; found himself in
the place minutes later and it had obviously been his destination since he no
longer felt drawn to walk.�

The tree he�d restrained Caed
against looked different in the pale sunlight.�
He ran his fingers over the rough bark and turned inward, deeper into
the forest.�

He liked the forbidden forest.� Few
others came in here.� It was dark and
quiet and secret.�

He�d seen amazing things while walking alone in here.��

After a few minutes he came, without effort, to the circular
clearing where the boy had first appeared.�
The snow was gone and soft wild grasses and flowers were
everywhere.�

�Right.. there..� he thought to himself.. going to where he thought the boy had appeared.�

He�d been lying on his back.. there..�

After a moment, he lowered himself to lie in the place.� It felt strange to do so.� As if he were lying
in someone�s shadow.�

It was a silly sentimental idea to do it at all.�

Overhead a cold blue cloudless winter sky stretched between
the tall points of the trees.� After a time he turned on his side and curled up.

The ground, though no longer covered with snow, was freezing.� It didn�t, however prevent him from closing
his eyes and somehow dosing off after a time.��

He dreamed..�

He stood over Caed.. but
it wasn�t him.�

Another boy... at
first he thought it was himself... He looked a little like himself when he was
younger..

black hair.�

The boy wore glasses over his tightly clenched eyes but he knew it was Caed, however he looked.�

He was so small.. frail.. and
writhing.. screaming uncontrollably under the hex..

Snarling, Tom took it off and then cast it once again� �CRUCIO!!� and the high unnatural
screams rang out again as Caed twisted and cramped
frenetically.�

He was going to kill
him.�

He was going to hold
him under the incandescent agony of the cruciatus until his mind snapped and he
breathed his last.�

The loathing and
disgust he felt was overwhelming.� He
couldn�t see anything but the weak..insipid..pathetic little creature at his feet.

�It needed to die.

�Where is
he?!�� Abraxas demanded the moment the mufflng charm sizzled into place.� �You were with him last!� What the fuck happened?!� He hasn�t been in any of his classes.� Nobody�s seen him.� ��

The sleek
blonde, so much more like Lucius than Draco Malfoy
glared at him.�

Harry shook his head helplessly.

�I don�t
know.� He left me working on my essay
before second period!� I haven�t seen
him!� He�s not in my charms class � I
expected he�d be in defense��

Abraxas
looked at him suspiciously.� They were in
a side corridor down from defense � which Tom had not
turned up for. �

In charms Gyphus and Alphard
had looked over at him a bit strangely and seemed to be trying to catch his
eye, but sat separately over at the side there wasn�t really any way to ask
what was wrong and after potions.. he
hadn�t wanted to talk to either of them.�

He hadn�t
really noticed where Alphard was but he�d been
waiting outside with them all before potions so it was a sure bet he�d seen
everything... how he�d freaked out and left with Tom.�

Gyphus was going to make some kind of crappy remark,
he just knew it.� So after class he�d
darted out and rushed to defense and had waited a
couple of corridors down till class had just started and then come in,
apologising for getting lost on the way.�

Tom�s
death eaters had looked at him suspiciously and he looked back defensively
wondering what their fucking problem was all of a sudden.

It was one thing to poke fun at him for making a fool of himself
this morning but they were looking at him as if he�d done something to them personally.�

It wasn�t
until Professor Merrythought started the lesson on Surinaste burning hexes and Tom still wasn�t there that he
suddenly understood why they were all looking at him like that and
panicked.�

Obviously Tom hadn�t turned up to another class as well or something � they
were all acting weird before class even started.�

Where was Tom?� What had happened?!� Had someone attacked him?�

Had ..Dumbledore done something maybe?�

Maybe
there were other students who had something against him...had
it in for him.� He could be somewhere
bleeding.� He could-...�

The thought slunk into his mind like a dark shadow. �he�s
probably just avoiding you because of what happened;� skipped class to think about what to do.�� Or maybe he�s with his girlfriend..��

Class had
been tense.� Roan had sparred with him
and he�d asked, sounding really worried ��do you know where Tom is?� The others said something happened this
morning.� I didn�t really understand
what.� Something about a potion you made
together?� He never misses a class.��

Harry had
said he didn�t know � he�d told him the same thing he�d just told Abraxas and Roan
had only nodded and looked worried.��

�..I...has
anyone checked whether he�s with Elana?� Harry asked Abraxas,
reluctantly.� �-maybe he went there after
he left.��

He avoided looking at the wretchedly familiar aristocratic face.�

�He isn�t
with Elana, Caed � she
takes Ancient runes with us both and she takes herbology
with Roan � she was in class today all day.�

Did something happen?� What have you done?!!.. Did you do something over that confounded kiss this morning � I saw
you fuming over it.�

Tom said you had some kind of...valuable skill.. Have
you-..��

�NO!!� he
yelled, furious. �I haven�t bloody killed Tom Riddle and vanished
the body or anything.� I haven�t done ANYTHING!!� I just sat on his couch and wrote my stupid defense paper � I didn�t even know he wasn�t in
classes.� And why the fuck should I think
anything about him kissing his girlfriend?!��

Abraxas
snarled at him �Little liar!!.. You were boiling mad.�
Anyone could see that.� What
happened after you left class?!��

He advanced on him quickly and without thinking Harry backed up hurriedly till
he was against the wall and Abraxas� black and silver wand was stabbing into
his neck�

�You have no idea who you�re dealing
with, Piper.. Tell me what I want to know now
before I decide to loosen your tongue!��

Harry had
a sickening case of d�j� vu.� This man
could be Lucius
Malfoy.� Nice and polite one minute and a
venomous snake the next.�� He�d..forgotten..that these guys were
death eaters.�

�I don�t
know.. nothing.. nothing happened.� I didn�t
do anything, Abraxas.��

He looked into the hard silvery eyes like mirror glass.�

�Caed.. I don�t wish to tell you
again..� The cultured voice said softly and
dangerously.�

Harry
flared in anger. �Fuck you!� I didn�t do
anything!�

The blond
tsked ��Language, Caed.
�You haven�t covered Surinaste
transfiguration hexes yet, unfortunately.. so I doubt you�ll know the counter if I fill your bones with
molten lead or as that..troglodyte
Crouch quoted � your belly with scorpions.�
And of course I can always tell the nurse that I was assisting you to
practice for Friday�s class.� Answer the
question.� What. Happened.� This. Morning. Caed?!!��

Swallowing
Harry looked down.�

�I... he.. hugged me.. because I was... upset... and..I..
um...��

Abraxas
leaned in closer, his lip turning up in a slight malfoyesque
sneer and eyes narrowing �yes?� You-?...��

Harry
gulped. �Nothing!..��

Abraxas
sneer morphed into a snarl.

�Molten Lead, Caed.� Have you the faintest idea how painful that is?� It
has been compared to the Cruciatus!�

Harry shook
his head slightly. �No.. I just.. nothing
happened. �I..
um..� He closed his eyes

�I liked it..
as...-as.. more than he meant by it.. I.. I ��

He whimpered miserably.� �I...smelled Tom
in the amortentia... I... Abraxas.. you can�t tell!...
I. ..I didn�t mean to... I�d never... I don�t even like guys like that... and... Tom
is...is Tom... and��

Abraxas
looked faintly amused. �yes.. I see Caed.�� What happened
then?!� He...hugged
you.. What did you
do?� �

Harry
looked up helplessly.� �I...hugged him
back..and...t-then I pushed
him away and went to the bathroom and pulled myself together and came out and
apologised.� And then he gave me the book
I needed for the essay and then he left.� That�s all.�
I don�t know where he is.� I left
just before charms.� That�s all.�
I swear!��

Abraxas
looked incredulous.� �You pushed him away?� Why?�
And he allowed that?!��

Harry
frowned. �because...it wasn�t right.� He was just calming me down.� He... he did it before when I was upset.� He... has a girlfriend..a
really hot girlfriend. Yeah... ok...
maybe it bothered me a little to see them kissing.�

They�re both so..bloody perfect.�

But...you know that if he thought I... fancied
him or something... he�d... he�d... fuck...
they�d never even find my body.�

So... I got the hell away and then I came back and explained
everything away and it was fine.�

He gave me the book and then he left.�

Look.. I didn�t do anything � we need to look for him
or something.� He... something could have
happened.��

Abraxas
groaned.� �He�s right � you really are
completely naive.� How are you even in
Slytherin?!�

Tom can�t stand Elana.� He fucks
her because its expected.�

I don�t imagine it is that great a
sacrifice.� She is fairly pleasing
physically.��

�Didn�t
you listen to Gyphus
this morning.�
He told you that she was a lame duck.�
Did you miss that?!� She clamps
herself around him in public places whenever she can.�

They..benefit from one another�s association.� He is among the most desirable Wizards at Hogwarts
and she, one of the most attractive of the seventh year girls � a Gryffindor no
less.� You said yourself � they look..perfect..together.�

Tom wishes to look..perfect.� For that, he tolerates her.��

�You, on the other hand � You he wants!..
Are you blind?!��

�The way
he treats you..the way he looks at you makes it abundantly clear.� He has staked a claim on you � you are his.�

You are also a complete imbecile if you imagine he has been seeking purely to
comfort you...

Tom is not the comforting type, Caed.�

He has sought not to frighten you off. But his embraces are most certainly not innocent.��

�He is..you might say...Omnisexual..He
has taken other male partners in the past � but his behaviour toward you is ..unprecedented.�

If you say you now...fancy him..as you put it.. There is no longer any need for this
fussing.��

The Malfoy ancestor withdrew his wand, sheathing it in his sleeve and stepped
back.�

�This
presents us with a problem however.. if you are not
responsible for his absence.. where then is he?!��

Harry
shook his head faintly.� �Where does he
go to be alone?�� The other boy
shrugged.�

�It is
not my habit to follow him around Caed.� He would not take kindly to that.� Perhaps he is back in his room.��

Harry
frowned.� Tom wasn�t in his room.� He didn�t know where he was..
but it wasn�t there.�

The feeling was ephemerally faint.� Just a vague feeling that he wasn�t anywhere nearby.�

Like the suddenly noticed absence of an almost inaudible constant noise.�

�He�s not
there� he said. ��Check the room of
requirement.� Or..�
he stilled.�

Abraxas was glaring at him.

�For one
who has been in this school for mere days.. you certainly seem to know a few rather guarded secrets
about it, Caed.�
Why do you think he isn�t in his room?!�
Why should he be in the room of requirement?!� Do you know
where it is?!��

Harry
kicked off the wall.

�um.. the fifth floor.� Shh.� He�s not there though either I think.� He�s not here..��

He
suddenly had an idea.� Snow.. Voldemort kicking him onto his back..
Waking up at the edge of the forest and feeling confused.�

He turned and ran toward the stairs hearing Abraxas curse and pursue him.

Author note.

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