Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Scars	By : KJmom827 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Lucius Views: 20250 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Scars
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 7
- 8
- 9
It has been almost two weeks since Draco left, and Harry is doing much better. He is completely healed and some of his lighter scars are already starting to fade. He doesn't stay cooped up in his rooms like he used to do. He's out and about during the day. He walks around the gardens, or goes flying. He joins me for every meal and eats heartily. We've spent several quiet days in the library reading or playing chess. He's even started joining me for a drink after dinner again.

We've received multiple letters from Draco, but Harry still doesn't read them. He knows where they are and that he has my full permission to open that drawer of my desk, but he doesn't. The first several were full of venom for Harry and hatred for myself. It didn't take long for the tearful and heart wrenching apologies to start. He stopped blaming Harry for his supposed indiscretions and admitted that he may have caused their problems himself. Now, he mostly just begs for Harry to talk to him. He promises to seek help, if Harry will just let him know he still has a reason to want to get better.

I'm glad Harry is still refusing to speak with him. Draco needs to want to make the changes for himself and not for Harry. His recovery should not be contingent on the status of their relationship. The only way he will fully recover is if he makes the first step entirely on his own. I miss my son terribly, but I'm enjoying my time with Harry immensely.

The morning after the 'potion incident' Harry apologized to me for his behavior and blamed it all on the medicine. I let him. It was much easier than the alternative. I did not wish to confess my sins and it didn't seem as if he wanted me to do so. Still, there are moments when the air between us is so thick that it almost chokes me.

Most often that happens when he brings me his scar diminishing cream and lifts his shirt for me to apply it to his back. He still shivers and sighs at my touch, and for all of his avoidance of discussing that night, he doesn't try to hide his reaction to me. Every single time I'm tempted to let my hands explore further, but I always stop short of venturing past the skin he has revealed to me. Sometimes I'll catch a glimpse of something resembling disappointment on his face before he smiles and thanks me.

He's late for breakfast this morning and I'm just about to send Pippi up to retrieve him when he bursts through the dining room door with a toothy grin and a blush. He looks like -

"Lucius! It worked! Your counter spell worked!" Yes, that's it, he looks relieved and quite sated. That would explain his tardiness.

"Ah, well, I'm glad to hear that. You sound disbelieving, did you not think I would be successful?" So many possibilities are prancing through my head, none of them appropriate.

"No, I knew you could do it, it's just been so damned long," He's been lonely, isn't that what he said?

"I expect you'll be venturing out soon then?" Surely he'll want to look for someone with whom to… celebrate.

"Why would I do that? Wait… Are you… Do you want me to leave? Did you want me to move out? Oh, of course you do, Draco is probably ready to come home and he can't do that if I'm here," He's panicking a little and I get a rare chance to see exactly how much he has come to like being here with me.

"No, I do not wish for you to leave, Harry. I told you before that you are welcome here as long as you would like to stay, that has not and will not change. I just thought you might like to find a… companion, if only for a night," His eyes widen in understanding, but he smiles and shakes his head.

"I don't do one night stands, Lucius. Or, at least, the idea doesn't appeal to me, I don't really know what I do or don't do. Draco was my first and only, so I figure I have a lot to learn about myself. Either way, I don't want to bring a stranger to my bed or join one in his," He gives me a meaningful look, but I choose to ignore it for the time being.

"I see," I turn my attention to the food in front of me.

"I thought you might want to… I mean, maybe we could celebrate," My head jerks up and he hurries to continue, "I just mean that maybe we could have a pajama dinner again. I really liked that, but I thought this time we could eat in your bed," He finishes in almost a whisper and nervousness is pouring off him in waves.

"That sounds," fantastic, amazing, wonderful, enticing, erotic "…acceptable. I would be agreeable to another pajama dinner, as you call it." He smiles like a child that's just been handed a tasty treat.

"Great! I was thinking I'd go for a fly after breakfast and then read in my room after lunch," His face flushes when he says the last part and I know he has no intention of just reading. I don't blame him though, if I had just rediscovered the ability to please myself after three years, I might spend days doing just that.

The rest of my day goes by fairly fast. I see little of Harry, but that isn't surprising. Neither is the fact that I spend a lot of my time thinking about our dinner tonight. Harry has never been inside my bedroom, much less in my bed. The thought pleases me and scares me at the same time. I know we are just having dinner, but I'm starting to seriously think he might want more. Now that I know he could enjoy it as well, I don't think I would turn him away.

I'm just buttoning my pajama shirt when Pippi pops in with another letter from Draco. I almost drop it on my nightstand to read later, but decide against it. It's not quite as thick as the others have been, that and the fact that it is addressed to both of us draws my interest. I open it to discover two pieces of parchment, one with Harry's name and one with mine.

This is the first correspondence he has sent intended for myself. I sit on my bed and begin to read the one that was labeled for me:

Dear Father,

Though I know you will not believe me, I want to say that I am truly sorry. I know that you feel things for Harry that go beyond friendship, but I also know that you did not betray me. I'm sorry for laying the blame for my failed relationship at your feet.

I know now that I drove Harry away. I used him and hurt him in ways you can't even imagine, and I did it without thought for anyone but myself. I still hope that we will be able to reconcile, but I know that may be a long time in coming. Please keep him safe for me until then?

I'm not asking you to lock him up and throw away the key, Merlin knows I tried to do that, but let him know that the Manor is his home as well. Thank you for saving him from me. I don't know that I would have stopped and I dread to think what might have happened to him, what I might have done to him.

I hope he doesn't, but if he chooses to move on, allow him that as well. I cannot be what he needs or deserves right now, and I do not wish to deny him any chance at happiness. I love him, and if I have to let him go to prove that, then so be it.

I love you as well, father. I hope you know that. I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm not sure how long I'll be away, but Severus will be able to reach me should you need him to. I'm going to concentrate on myself for a while and figure out how to be the person I want to be. I hope that I will still have a home when I return. More than that, however, I hope to return to a father who still loves me and a Harry that will at least talk to me.

Love,

Your Dearest Little Dragon.

The tears welling in my eyes begin to fall when I see the way he's signed the letter. It is a nickname he used to hate, one that I haven't used in years. I cannot let this go unanswered, not when I know that he's finally agreed to go to the clinic Severus has been pushing since the beginning of this mess. I'm composing my reply when Harry knocks at my door.

"Come in, Harry," His pajamas are black silk this time and I think they may look better on him than the green ones. I don't spend a lot of time studying him, though. It was painful to have Draco so calmly call me out on how I feel about Harry and I've decided not to hurt my son any farther. If Draco returns to find Harry in a relationship, it cannot be with me.

"Did he send another one?" He's noticed the parchment, still laying on my bed, that has his named on it. He's tracing the letters with one finger, and I know - just like every other time - that he's itching to pick it up and read it.

"Yes, and I feel that you should read this one, Harry."

"Is it different than the rest?"

"Yes," He nods and picks the parchment up with shaking hands. It takes him only a few minutes to read his. Once he's finished with it, he lets it fall from his hand and whispers one word before it hits the carpet.

"Incendio."

"Harry-"

"No, Lucius. He can't expect me to forgive everything just because he's realized what he put me through was wrong. One of these days, I'll think about forgiving him, but not now. I will not be waiting for him, and I will not be going back to him, ever. Are you almost finished with that? I'm kind of hungry and I'd like to get on with the celebrating," I let him change the subject and quickly finish my letter. When Pippi pops in with our food moments later, I hand her the envelope to have it delivered.

Harry didn't wait for an invitation, he's sitting directly in the middle of my bed smiling at me. Once again, I feel as if he should look out of place, but he doesn't. How will I ever keep my secret promise to Draco with him looking at me like that?

I join him on the bed and he, again, squeezes my hand three times as he turns to face me.

"Will you please tell me why you keep doing that?" He laughs and hands me my plate.

"Not yet. Maybe soon, though," I'll let him keep his secret for a while longer even though it's driving me crazy.

"Harry, can we play your game again?" I may not want to be the one he talks to, but he needs to get it out, and I'm the only one here.

"We could, but that's not really what you want, is it?" When did he learn to see through me so well?

"No, not really. You've told me a little, Harry, but I know there's more. I think it's important for you to let go of it. In order for you to do that, I really believe you need to get it all out of your head. Tell it all and leave nothing out," He's using his fork to swirl his food around on his plate and he won't look at me.

"Are you sure you want to hear?" Not at all.

"Absolutely."
- 7
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- 9
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Scars