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Making Happy	By : neelix Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 5457 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in this story that are from the Harry Potter books. I do not make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-One
- 2-Two
- 3-Three
- 4-Four
- 5-Five
- 6-Six
- 7-Seven
- 8-Eight
- 9-Nine
- 10-Ten
- 11-Eleven
- 12-Twelve
- 13-Epilogue
- 7
- 8
- 9
8. Where Lives Are Saved.

‘It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.’

~ Anonymous~

Hermione

I’ve imagined this moment so many times that it’s an anti-climax. The weight of the Vow lifted, I’m now left with the weight of worrying about Happy. I have no energy to contemplate what might happen next. Nothing has changed. Nothing has been said. The only difference is that we are silent through choice and not will.

They let us see Happy for a short while, but she doesn’t even open her eyes. Harry says it’s residual because she’s been in stasis for so long. I hold her cold hand in mine for as long as I can, staring at her pale face and trying to remember all of her before they take her from me. Her long, dark curls hang limply on her shoulders. I want to take a brush to it and sing to her, like I do before she goes to bed at night. Her lips are tinged with blue, and her dark eyelashes stand out starkly against her cheeks. She definitely has her father’s colouring.

Severus looks shell shocked. I know everything is happening too fast for him, but perhaps that’s for the best. If he’d thought about it for too long he would never have done it, and now, the rest is up to him. I shouldn’t have been so cruel. I know he’s more sensitive than I gave him credit for and that he loves Happy deeply. I wonder if he has been scared all this time that I would take her from him.

I make two strong cups of black coffee and take one to him as a peace offering. His gives me a resigned look but takes it anyway. I slide into the seat beside him and take his free hand in mine, threading my fingers through his. I squeeze tightly in what I hope he knows is reassurance, and he squeezes back. The last time we did this, I was giving birth, I think. It seems fitting.

As I stare into the bitter, hot coffee, I can’t help but think back over everything. It’s not the first time, of course, but being with Harry and Severus in the same room brings everything back so clearly.

It took me a while to see what was going on, but I was a bit wrapped up in myself at the time, so that’s no surprise. I’d known for a few years that girls were my thing, but it took Rosmerta to make that real. I knew there was no future there, but that wasn’t what it was about. There is a fondness between us, but she’s already lost the love of her life. Anyone else is just a distraction.

It never occurred to me that Harry was gay, too. I mean, he’d been out with Cho and with Ginny, and I know for a fact they were shagging. So when he told me he was in love with Severus, I almost laughed, until I saw that he was deadly serious. Things changed after that. We still spent time together, all of us, but I noticed the way they were with each other more and more, and I felt a bit out of it to be honest. Not that they did anything in front of me. In fact, I thought there was more going on than there was, but Severus told me they’d only kissed once and he had avoided being alone with Harry after that. But Harry would stare at Severus, who would make a big show of not noticing and pretending everything was normal. I’d laugh if wasn’t all so sad.

Severus should have known Harry wouldn’t let it drop. He was always so stubborn about following things through, even when we were kids. He roped me in to help, which I thought was the right thing at the time. Severus was furious with me for even thinking it was a good idea, and I was so upset that Harry went to confront Severus there and then. It was just awful. Harry left and didn’t answer any of my owls, and Severus didn’t speak to me for a month beyond the formalities of the lab. Then he turned up at my quarters one night with brownies and Firewhisky. After an hour we opened a second bottle, and of course the conversation turned to our respective love lives, or in Severus’s case, the lack of one. He wouldn’t admit to his feelings for Harry at first, but I managed to refill his glass enough for it all to come out. For someone so bloody proud and stubborn, he can be a stupid man. But he was so scared of being hurt. I told him Harry is the most loyal person he would ever meet, and how did he know that the next man in his life would be able to commit any more than Harry?

He told me there would never be another man. That’s what made it so pathetic, really. They both felt the same way.

***

Harry

Armitage is a good man and I’m relieved I chose to trust him with this. The operation is over, and another child is safe again. I settle Harriet into her room myself. I feel the need to take personal charge of her care and I don’t want to examine the reasons why just now. I feel weak, and I know I have to go and tell them both that their daughter is well and they can stop worrying, but being in their presence is confusing and exhausting. There is something going on that I’m not party to, and I want to expedite their daughter’s recovery so they can exit my life as quickly as possible. I didn’t choose to revisit this situation, and if I was hurt before, now my wounds are open and bleeding.

I take the well-worn path to the waiting room, too wiped out to feel buoyant and excited to be passing on such good news. I ignore the nagging part of me that wants to see him again and force myself to maintain my professional façade. I paste on a smile before I open the door, but all of my careful planning crumbles away when I see the relief on his face and am engulfed in Hermione’s arms, her curls buffeting my cheek as she crushes me to her.

‘Thank you, oh God, Harry, thank you!’ She’s squealing in my ear and I wince at the shrillness of it. He laughs, a sound I haven’t heard in a very long time, and as I look over Hermione’s shaking shoulder, our eyes meet.

He rolls his eyes and smiles, but I can see the tracks of his tears down his cheeks. He mouths a silent ‘Thank you,’ and I nod and smile back. We hold the gaze for longer than is really necessary, until he sits and rubs his face wearily with his hands. Hermione loosens her grip and goes over to him.

‘It’s okay, Severus. What ever happens, Happy will always be your little girl,’ she whispers. She sits and put her arm around his hunched shoulders. He nods, but he’s looking at me and not her.

‘Can we see her?’

‘Of course. She’s sleeping, but she’ll probably wake soon and she’ll want you with her, I’m sure.’

I lead them in silence to Harriet’s room. She’s awake, and Severus pauses with me by the door, watching as the child smiles up at Hermione and they hug each other gently. I feel his energy pulsing from him, and catch a hint of the aroma that is so typical of him, a mix of spice and soap and maleness that used to make me almost beg to climb under his skin. I hold my breath and try and step away, but the door frame stops me. Hidden from view, he takes my hand and captures my fingers between his, caressing them with a ghost of a touch. He doesn’t even look at me, but as he runs the tip of his index finger across my palm I feel myself shiver. He steps into the room to greet his daughter, and whole incident lasts no more than a few seconds. I feel faint, wondering if I imagined it.

I go to leave, but he stops me.

‘Harry.’ His voice is deep and rich, but it his use of my name that stuns me into speechlessness. ‘Thank you, for everything.’

Hermione looks between us with a knowing smile on her face, and as I Floo home, I’m feeling more confused than I was before.
- 7
- 8
- 9
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Making Happy