Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

I just wanted to ask	By : evil-minded Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 31281 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 11
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any character from it, Rowling does … I do not make any money out of Harry Potter either, again – Rowling does … I however do own Herbaceous VanHarkins – but I don’t make money of him also … :D …

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Author's Notes:

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

And yes, I really would appreciate it, if you would honor my work with a short review as I always will honor your comments with an answer … Answers to reviews you have given or the chance to discuss the story you can find here: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/34437-review-replies-for-i-just-wanted-to-ask/

Warning:

Story contains references to child abuse:

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution … handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

what does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

Story contains adult stuff:

Especially sex between two men … as there is Harry Potter – a male – having sex with Severus Snape – another male … what means those gay things … not to mention that the relationship between the two of them is one based on BDSM …

Don't like it, don't read it …

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

Previously in I just wanted to ask:

"I am angry, yes, but I am not angry at you, Harry. I am angry at the sad excuses for your relatives who did not take proper care of a child that had been entrusted to them. But I am not angry at you. You do not have to fear me, Harry." He said, his voice low and sad now. "And I guess you do know this. I guess in this particular situation you would fear everyone and thus I do not feel offended. Nevertheless, I do not want you to fear me in the first place and I guess you do know this as well. You just react in the only way you are capable of right now."

I just wanted to ask

Chapter eight

You are mine

It was Thursday evening and Snape thought he wouldn't survive the next day until it finally was weekend. The first years were about to drive him mad and he knew that it would take at least a month more until they had settled into the routine of the old castle. The seventh year Hufflepuffs were up to something, he knew it by just looking at them, and the Gryffindors were driving him up the walls, just as always. At least Harry tried to make an effort – even if without success. But he could see it in the way the boy acted. He tried to concentrate, and the look of half-heartiness was replaced by a look of desperate determination.

If the boy just would be able to get a grip at his nerves in potions around him, but – no – he was as jumpy as never before.

Well, and then – there was the fact that he was behind his normal amount of brewed potions, antidotes for the potions he had his students brewing during lessons and potions for the infirmary.

He normally brewed in the evening hours that just now were occupied by the teenager that he currently had visiting him – as every evening since the first day of school after the summer break.

"Follow me." He shortly said, leading the boy towards the small kitchen that was attached to his chambers and where Zilly, his house elf, already had brought out a small dinner on his orders. Again the brat had not eaten more than half a slice of dry toast during dinner and honestly, he had known he would not eat more.

"Sit." He said and took his own place at the table.

The boy had a look of pure shock on his face when he looked at the plate in front of him and Snape clearly could see the panicky look in his eyes. Well, he had to admit that Zilly apparently had thought the boy needed a lot to eat and he had to admit that Potter surely would not be able to finish what Zilly had served him.

Harry seated himself opposite of Snape. He looked at the plate in front of him in pure shock, and nerves overtook him. There was no way he was going to be able to eat all this, but to leave any on his plate would just be impolite. And a waste of food, as uncle Vernon always had told him. Yet – it was a waste of food if it was given to him anyway, so he was not really sure what would be the difference.

Sensing Harry's unease and knowing that the boy wouldn't be able to stomach all that Zilly had prepared on the teenager's plate, not if he considered the boy's eating habits at least, Snape sighed.

"You do not have to finish all of this." He said to ease Potter's fears.

Harry nodded and took the fork that was placed besides his plate, beginning to shove the vegetables from one side of the plate to the other. He wasn't really sure if he would be able to eat anything of it without throwing up and that was something he really, really didn't want to do. And surely not in front of Snape.

The man in question silently placed a vial in front of him and Harry looked up with a curious expression on his face. What was this for? Surely Snape wouldn't poison him? Maybe he still was angry at him because of … he shuddered for a moment.

"A stomach calming potion, Harry." Snape said upon seeing the boy's nearly fearful gaze. He'd had a scathing remark on his tongue but gulped it down. It surely would not help things right now. He wanted to help the brat and he wouldn't achieve this if he ridiculed the boy with his sarcasm. "I am sure you are hungry, Harry, and do me the favor and do not deny it. I know that you are. You just fear that you would not stomach anything else than – dry toast. Am I correct?"

No answer came, but the Potions Master had known that none would come and he would not press for an answer right now. The boy had to eat.

"Drink the potion, Harry, and then eat." He simply said.

Harry obeyed and after another moment of hesitation he extended his hand and took the potion, knowing that it would be a great thing if he actually would be able to stomach more than – well, as Snape had said with his sarcastic voice – dry toast without getting uncomfortable and feeling ill to the stomach. He opened the vial and then downed its contents, grimacing at the taste. Yet – it was not as bad as other potions Madam Pomfrey had given him throughout the years. He didn't feel sick at least after that one.

"Uhm, Professor?" He asked, just to get his mind off the food in front of him and to play for time. He still feared actually eating some of it in front of the man. And he feared the Professor's next questions he might ask.

Snape on the other hand – had to suppress a wince at the title Potter addressed him with.

"I would prefer it if you addressed me with my given name, as long as we are in privacy, Harry." He said. "It is quite unnerving if you call me – Professor."

"Uhm …" The teenager made, blinking in near shock at him and Snape had to suppress a low chuckle. "You're sure about this, sir?" The teen asked, nearly startled.

"Would I have suggested it otherwise?" The Potions Master drawled. "Of course I am sure about it. Or would you prefer me continuing calling you Potter?"

"Urgh. No, sir, surely not." The boy said, shuddering.

"You see the point?" Snape lifted his eyebrow at the younger wizard.

"Yes, sir." Came instead of 'yes, Severus' and the man gave him one of his long, judging looks that Harry was getting used to by now but still didn't know what they meant. Aside from the fact that they made him nervous.

"Now, what was it you wanted to ask?" The Potions Master wanted to know and Harry sighed placing the fork aside.

"Well …" He began. "I wondered if there were pairs – concerning … BDSM – that were neither top nor bottom." He asked. "Not permanently at least."

"That is possible." Snape answered, momentarily wondering where the boy had taken the confidence from to ask a question about BDSM by himself. "Those pairs are called switches and the same rules go for them as those for permanent tops and bottoms." Maybe the boy feared other questions he might ask right now enough to try and distract him by asking …

Well, most likely. Sighing he decided to allow it – for now at least.

"And they change just like that?"

"Well, normally in BDSM terminology the partner who has the active or controlling role in a session is described as the top, a role that often involves inflicting pain, degradation or subjection. The partner who has the passive or submissive role in said session is described as the bottom, a role that mostly exposes himself willingly to those actions the top displays. Often the roles are permanent. But sometimes the practitioners may play either or both roles, top or bottom, depending on the actual session's setting. They can switch in a daily route, or in a weekly route. They may even switch during the current setting. Eat!"

The teenager took the fork again and again began to shove the vegetables over his plate. To the side they originally had been placed at.

"Eat, Harry!" Snape growled darkly and the brat really scooped some of the vegetables into his mouth – after he jumped.

"Although the top usually is the dominant and the bottom the submissive partner, it is not inevitably so." Snape then continued when Harry had begun to finally eat. "In some cases the top follows instructions to the bottom's desires and in a way the bottom expressly requires. A top only having apparent control, while he in reality is conforming the instructions given by the bottom, is labelled as a service top. Contrasting with the service top is the dominant top, which controls his submissive partner by using physical or psychological techniques during the session."

Potter blinked at him in irritation and Snape lowered his head to one side questioningly, lifting one eyebrow at the teenager.

"Well …" The boy asked. "That means … there are bottoms that try to manipulate the top?"

"That is correct." Snape inclined his head. "Even if such is not really preferred in the BDSM subculture. The more common way would be that the bottom mostly may be the partner who specifies the basic conditions of the session, directly or indirectly, in the prelude to the session, while the top mostly respects this guidance to ensure that both partners will enjoy the game and takes over in fine tuning the scene during the play. Such is an acceptable situation for every participant as both agree together on the situation. Sometimes." The older wizard added with an evil glint in his eyes.

"Sometimes?" The brat asked swallowing heavily and again the fork lay beside the plate.

"Eat!" Snape growled. "Yes, sometimes. Normally both, top and bottom, are planning the setting together so both can enjoy the situation completely. The bottom specifies the basic conditions and the top defines the finer outlines. But sometimes, sometimes the top might surprise his bottom with a setting, if they know each other well enough and if the top is familiar with the preference of his bottom. A good top rarely would surprise his bottom with a setting of which he knows would upset his submissive, would sent him into a panic, harm him or similar."

Potter gulped heavily, watching Snape with large eyes and the Potions Master had – yet again – to suppress a chuckle.

"Other bottoms try to control their top by provoking reactions or misbehaving to attract interest. Normally the top – if it is a good top – does not respond to those provocation as a top would feel his dominance undermined by the bottom in this case."

"And …" The teenager began. "What kind of top are you?"

Snape smirked at him with an evil glint in his dark eyes.

"Eat." He simply said.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

Well, Harry had eaten. Not all, but much more than he had eaten in a long time anyway and when Snape finally had been satisfied he had felt nearly ill despite the stomach calming potion. Snape then had led Harry out of the small kitchen and into the larger living area where they now sat together in front of the warming fire.

"There is one thing, Mr. Potter, which I wish to complete today." Snape said, his voice startling him out of his thoughts, sounding serious suddenly and Harry shivered, looking up at the man with unsure eyes. He couldn't help it, he felt fear creeping up his stomach and settling into his chest. And it must have shown on his face because Snape suddenly chuckled darkly, startling Harry even more.

"Merlin save me from teenage boys." The Potions Master murmured, shaking his head. "Come here!" He then said, his voice significantly commanding now and his dark eyes were piercing the teenager.

Harry swallowed thickly and for a moment he had to catch his breath before he got a grip on himself and stood, his body obeying nearly automatically as his feet carried him forward until he stood in front of Snape's armchair.

"Kneel!" Snape said, his voice as commanding as before but with a slightly pleased note in it.

Swallowing again nervously Harry once more obeyed, kneeling unsurely in front of the Potions Master and despite the fear that suddenly cursed through him, some of his blood seemed to settle lower in his anatomy while he began to tremble under the intense gaze of those dark eyes that watched him seriously, silently.

For long few minutes nothing happened besides of Snape watching the teenager kneeling in front of him, radiating fear with every string of his tense and trembling body and the Potions Master seemed to search for something in the boy's questioning and unsure green eyes that watched him in the same searching way.

Then Snape slowly lifted his hand and placed it on top of the always unruly black hair, recognizing but ignoring the slight flinch the boy gave away, the fear that deepened in those green eyes for a moment. It just was another information he would store away for another time. Gently he carded his fingers through the teenager's hair, feeling the soft texture beneath his fingers, between his fingers, his eyes never leaving the boy in front of him, noticing that the brat allowed his body to relax slowly and slightly, distracted from his fears by his gentle fingers running through his hair.

"Never assume that I do anything but top." He said, his voice deep, nearly deeper as it normally was and Harry wasn't able to prevent himself from swallowing nervously. "And never assume that I do anything else but the dominant top." He added, his dark eyes still boring into the green ones of the boy, keeping the younger wizard's gaze captured with his own.

"Do you truly understand what you are getting yourself into, Harry?" He asked after a few more moments, not sure if he wanted to hear the boy's answer.

"Yes, sir." Potter simply answered, his voice still unsure, as were his eyes, but nevertheless Snape somehow knew that he boy was not unsure about himself but unsure about the older man, about Snape, about how he might feel, if he still wanted him.

"What exactly is it you get yourself into?" He asked.

And just in this moment it was like seeing the boy for the first time. He had never noticed just how often or how unintentionally Harry bit his lower lip. Or the way his black eyelashes lowered as he lowered his gaze, considering his answer. The way those green eyes seemed to search in his face, in his own eyes and in his entire posture whenever Harry lifted his eyes to meet his own, unsurely, questioningly, and nearly frightened, robbing the Potions Master of his breath.

"It … it is a relationship in which you are the top and I am the … the … the bottom." The teenager finally answered, his voice low and quiet, as unsure and as close to being frightened as were his eyes. "It is limited to only during … during … during sex … but you will have control then over … over me. It is consensual because … because I give it to you freely. And you will … you will … you will not hurt me, but you will … you will … punish me … if … if I am disobedient. It is … it is … pain … involved and … and … and fear … but you will … you will care for me and keep me safe … you will … you will not … you will not hurt me …?"

Snape had to fight hard to not let his emotions show on his face at the fear and yet bravery the teenager showed in this very moment. He had not expected such a clear answer. The words clearly showed the fear and the unsureness Harry felt and the green eyes still watched him searchingly, questioningly. And the last few words clearly had not been a statement but a question and the searching gaze had changed into a nearly pleading one. He stilled his hand that had been carding through the teen's hair but he did not pull it away, kept the physical contact that so very much seemed to calm the boy.

"That is correct, Harry." Snape said, his low voice velvet and deep, calming, reassuring. "I do care for you. I will keep you safe and I will not harm you. All I expect of you is your trust, your honesty and your loyally. I won't be gentle with you, but I also won't be cruel. And I will handle you with understanding."

Snape's fingers continued to card through the black hair, calming the teenager in front of him further.

"Are you still sure that this is what you want, Harry?" He asked.

"Yes, sir." The boy answered. "Yes, I do want this."

Snape slightly nodded. "Stay!" He then ordered.

Snape's hand pulled away as he stood and immediately Harry felt the fear coming back, settling with all might within his stomach and he had to grit his teeth in order to prevent a small sob. He had to look at his fingers that again were curled into a knot in his lap, just in order to being able to concentrate onto his breathing.

He had felt safe in Snape's presence. He had felt safe with Snape touching him. He couldn't explain it, he just had felt safe.

Only moments later dark eyes fixed on Harry's face and they softened slightly before Snape glided over to his brat and sat back down into the armchair, noticing the trembling that had come back while he was away, the trembling that lessened when he placed his fingers under Potter's chin to get the teenager to look back at him. The green eyes that met his dark ones held fear once again.

"Turn!" Snape said, and even if his voice was low it clearly was a command again.

Harry turned after casting one last unsure look into Snape's eyes, his fingers automatically tightening in this complicated knot he held in his lap when he had his back on the Potions Master.

Snape easily recognized the tensing of Potter's shoulders when the teen had his back on him and he placed a reassuring hand on the tense shoulder before he reached in front of the brat and placed a small pendant on a leather strip around the boy's neck, fastening the strip on the back of the slender neck.

It was a simple small silver snake that was curled in on itself, just similar as Harry always curled in on himself, and thus forming an O that hang on the leather strip and for some strange reason Harry's body relaxed slightly as the fastenings slid in place and the pendant hang over the crop of his throat. The necklace fit perfectly around his neck and his throat, making him recognize every gulp he did, but not choking him.

"This is the sign to everyone that you are no longer free to be claimed." Snape quietly said, placing both of his hands onto the teenager's shoulders and turning him until he was facing him again. "Within the wizarding community everyone now will know that you are owned by a master. And no one will touch you. You are mine now. And I will allow no one touching you." He softly said, gazing intently into the boy's eyes.

"Furthermore, with this token you have given yourself into my hands willingly." He continued his explanation. "What means that I not only am in responsibility for you, your safety and your well being, but that you cannot hide or keep yourself from me either. With this pendant I always will know where you are, if you are in danger and even what you are feeling as long as you are allowing my presence to feel yours. I also can call you through this pendant. It won't hurt you if you do not answer my call as is the dark mark the Death Eaters wear. It is up to your own choice if you wish to or if you are able to answer my call at the present time. It only will show you that I require your presence, nothing more."

Harry gulped nervously. That sounded as if Snape now really would be in control of him. Snape would know where he was, always as it seemed. And he would know what he felt, though not always if he had gotten that correctly. He wasn't sure if this was a good thing. He never had liked other people to know what exactly he felt. But now Snape would know. And Snape could call him, even if he could chose to answer the call or not. Would Snape punish him if he didn't answer? If Snape so wanted, then he could control him now completely.

Snape even could call him if he was in classes, knowing that he would not be able to answer the call. And later on he could punish him for not heeding down to the man, or even for not being quickly enough. And as Snape would know what he felt, he could punish him with what he feared the most, or with what would bring the worst pain onto him. Never mind how miserable Snape had made his life in the past, he now could make his life really miserable if he wanted to, thousandfold if he so wished.

But then – had Snape not demanded his trust? Yes, he could make his life miserable beyond imagination. But he simply would have to trust the man that he would not do so. It surely was easier said than done, but he would have to. So he swallowed nervously, trembling, but nevertheless he nodded at the Potions Master.

"Good." Snape said, noticing the hesitance in the teen's appearance, the fear that crossed his face and he even imagined feeling a slight panic coming from the pendant and settling in the ring he now wore on the forefinger of his left hand. It was too early for him to feel this, wasn't it? Softly he ran his left thumb over the silver ring that was formed in a snake just like the pendant Harry now wore around his neck and he really felt the emotion settling in his ring. Well, that definitely was interesting, he thought. Was their relationship already formed that deeply?

"Those things won't happen right now." He finally continued, noticing the teen calming down the moment he ran his thumb over the ring. "Not entirely at least, but they will grow throughout the next few hours, maybe a few days as our relationship grows stronger and stabilizes itself. I guess that they will be in place completely within this week at the latest. One last thing though. You won't be able to take the pendant off by your own. If you wish to end this relationship, then you will have to address me with it and I will take it off. That way it is ensured that the junior partner won't simply run off and leave the senior partner behind without even his knowledge. With this pendant, you truly are mine now."

Snape stood, pulling the brat, his brat, with him and gazing intently into the still unsure eyes of the teenager that stood in front of him. "As long as you wish to remain in this place." He added before wrapping his arms around his boy's slender waist.

The teenager he held in his arms only could nod, not able to vocalize anything right now, but he didn't have to either. Snape understood and his eyes traveled possessively over the boy's frame. 'He's mine!' He growled in his mind. 'I won't let anyone else touch him.'

The grip Snape had on him was gentle but firm and Harry found that he was enjoying it. The steady and strong beating of Snape's heart, the arms that curled around him with a pressure that made him feel safe but didn't hurt him, the fingers that touched his back that made him feel at ease, and he relaxed further in the man's arms. It would be alright, he knew.

This pendant, it was like a testimony of him belonging to Snape, belonging to anyone, of anyone actually wanting him, and the fact that Snape wanted to take care of him. It was nearly too much and Harry choked back a sob. Nobody had ever done something like this for him.

The Potions Master's breathing had slowed down considerably when he himself relaxed and Harry just couldn't help but giving a small sigh away. He was not even a bit uncomfortable with the sudden possessiveness in Snape's demeanor and slowly he lifted his right hand and lightly touched the older wizard's chest.

It was a movement, a touch as unsure and as hesitant, as questioningly and as frightened as was everything else the boy displayed, as were his eyes, as was his voice, and again it made Snape catch his breath in his throat. There was absolutely nothing sensual about the way Harry placed his fingertips on his chest but the fearful trust was clear in the action and Severus' hand came to rest on the back of Harry's head, pressing his brat close as he continued to try and get his own emotions back under control.

He had felt the desperate fear coming from the boy, the slight panic, the unsureness. Yet he also had felt the trust the boy forced himself to feel, followed by something akin to overwhelming happiness and he gently carded his fingers through the unruly hair, again wondering how this all had happened.

At first he had hated Harry throughout years. Then he had given the student – the talk, of all things. After this it had changed into a discussion about BDSM and they had managed to get along during a civil conversation. He had become to see more of Harry's other side, of his true side, not of the mask he always had worn throughout the years. They had started a relationship, not even out of love. The boy had searched for someone to teach him and he, Snape, had searched someone whom he could hand his knowledge down. It had been a logical decision, nothing else and nothing more. And now?

Now his fingers trembled when he thought about Harry being neglected for years, while he tried not to think about what else those wretched and abominable muggles might have done. Now his chest ached while he mentally made a diet plan for the brat, while he mentally set an appointment to visit Surrey and while he mentally wondered how to proceed with the boy that had become more important to him than his own life.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

He was sitting at the sofa while the boy was laying, his head resting in his lap, his hand gently carding through the boy's hair he always had associated with James Potter's, he now found was soothingly soft, and Snape noticed that Harry's breathing had become slow and regular and looking down at him he saw that the teenager had fallen asleep. Carefully he moved his sitting position in order to examine the brat's sleeping face closer. It was relaxed now, dark eyelashes standing up against the pale skin of the bony cheeks, the lips slightly parted.

'The sleep of a child.' He thought. 'He really looks like a mere boy when he sleeps.'

And yet – this boy, his brat, had been starved and neglected by his relatives, over years, and to an extent that he knew Harry had an eating disorder he most likely never would really overcome. To an extent where the boy's body was a mere shadow of itself, the weight of the boy's upper body resting on his lap much too little. To an extent where the boy's body trembled even now with coldness, even if the body warmth he, Snape, radiated and with the warmth of the crackling fire that was lit beside them. And to an extent where the boy was tired beyond his limit, his body not able to keep awake for longer than a few hours in a row.

He had watched the boy long enough now and he knew the boy was tired in the later morning hours, even after a night's sleep. He also knew that the boy looked as if he had crawled out of bed before his afternoon lessons and he looked the same when he came down into the great hall for dinner. He knew that the boy was sleeping before his afternoon lessons and before dinner. And nevertheless he was tired in the evening hours again.

While he covered the small body with the blanket he took from the backrest, he knew that he would have to talk with the boy further. It wasn't just that he could give him nutrition potions and watch his eating habits until Harry had gained an acceptable weight. And it wasn't just that he could see to the boy's sleeping patterns. He would have to care for the teenager's soul too.

Summoning the book he had started reading the day before he leaned back at the backrest of the sofa, one hand still laying on the boy's shoulder and he began to read, casting a worried glance down at the sleeping form every now and then and his thoughts drifted to the question why he had not seen the signs earlier. It wasn't quite like him to oversee such signs. He saw them with his Slytherins every so often. Too often. And now he had Harry here, in the very same place. And this time he felt like suffocating.

He couldn't deny it any longer.

He did not just want to own the brat as his because the boy was handsome and small and would be perfect as his submissive. He did not just want to own the brat as his because he wanted to hand down his knowledge to him. And he did not just want to own the brat as his because the boy was so willing to accept him, mean and snarky and old dungeons bat who was cold and dark.

No. He cared for the boy, he ached for him and he –

Yes. He loved him.

Maybe, he growled to himself.

As strange and as foreign as it sounded to him and as much as he would like to deny it – but, if he had to be honest with himself, then he had to admit, he simply loved him.

Maybe, he again growled at himself.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

As Harry entered the Gryffindor common room later that night, shortly before curfew, Ron looked up at him, as did Hermione and both asked him where he had been.

For a moment he felt the familiar panic rising into his chest, into his throat. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have not thought about the two of them being still awake? They surely would see the pendant and then they would question it. And surely at least Ron would know what it was. Ron came from a pure blood wizarding family after all, and those pure blood wizards all were well educated when it came to wizarding etiquette, tradition, and such things. He immediately would know what it was and what it meant.

And then they soon would figure out who it was he was with. They just had to cross out each girl first, then each student and soon there would be only a teacher left. And from there – well, it wouldn't be impossible to find out about Snape.

And surely it was forbidden to have a relationship with his teacher? Surely he would be expelled and Snape would be sacked if it became known? Maybe even would end up in Azkaban? They surely should keep it hidden as long as possible?

But on the other hand – Snape never had touched him. Well, aside from that one time a few days earlier. But otherwise he hadn't touched him now. He hadn't even kissed him yet. Not that he did mind. But it was strange. Snape was an adult man. And adults wanted more than just talking about sex. They wanted to have sex. So – why hadn't Snape touched him yet?

Maybe he too thought he was ugly, too skinny, too short - scrawny. A scrawny little freak. And he was a stuttering fool too. An absolute crap at potions. And a murderer. A sixteen year old that had killed five people. Not to mention that he was pathetic and weak. So – what in Merlin's name did Snape want with him? Why in Merlin's name did Snape care? And why was the man so kind to him? It was more than just a bit unnerving.

"Now, where have you been?" Ron asked. "There's not one evening since we're back that you've been here, Harry."

"Well, maybe I don't want to be here with you two bickering and fighting all the time, Ron." Harry said, still hoping that none of them would come to the right conclusion upon seeing the pendant he wore. But at the same time, he had to admit that it was a calming feeling that they could see that he belonged to someone, even if he didn't know the reason as to why Snape had claimed him as his. Yet – he couldn't help feeling proud a bit.

He was no longer alone. He belonged to someone.

"What do you mean, Harry?" Hermione asked. "I do nothing than try to convince Ron that there is more to being together with someone than just stating it."

"Exactly, Hermione." Harry growled darkly. "You want more from Ron, because you are needy, but Ron isn't ready for more yet. And you are not ready to wait. And you, Ron, you act as if kissing Hermione would get her pregnant. Did you know that there is a preservation spell? It is securus incestus. And you can use it before you kiss her if that's what you fear."

Ron gasped at him in near shock and Hermione narrowed his eyes at him.

"Since when do you know about such spells, Harry?" The girl asked him curiously.

"Not only you are able to gain knowledge, Hermione." Harry rolled his eyes and let himself fall into one of the armchairs, despite the tiredness he felt. "I have read about it."

"Why would you read about something like … like that?" Ron still gasped at him in shock.

"Why ever not, Ron?" Harry furrowed his brows. "Do you really think that you would die the moment you kissed Hermione? Are you so stupid, Ron? What's wrong with the two of you?"

"Nothing." Ron said, blinking in shock at him.

"Did you just say I'm needy?" Hermione asked, shaking her head.

"Yes, I did say you're needy, Hermione. And you Ron, you're just stupid. And I won't have it any more. Your constant bickering and fighting is enough and you either stop it, or you won't see me much in here any time soon."

"But we don't fight with you." Ron said.

"No, but you two have been friends at one time." Harry growled. "And now you do nothing but fighting – over a kiss, damn! It's unnerving and I don't like it. Why should I be here if you do nothing but fight?"

"Uhm … Harry … what's wrong with you, mate?"

"Absolutely nothing is wrong with me, Ron. It's you who is acting strange. You two. And I really have better things to do than listening to you two bickering at each other."

"Harry?" Hermione asked, looking at him curiously. "What's that around your neck? I didn't see it when you left the common room earlier."

"That's absolutely unimportant now." Harry glared at her. "The only important thing right now is that you two stop fighting. You two really have been friends at one point. And I want you to be friends again. Because I want us all being friends again."

Ron didn't hear his words. He stared at the pendant he wore. He hadn't seen it before, but now that Hermione had pointed towards the necklace – now he saw it, and now he seemed to recognize it.

"You're gay?" He asked incredulously, his voice silent, as if in shock.

"So what, Ron?" Harry asked back. "At least I'm ready to have a relationship without denying my partner a kiss."

"Then it's true, Harry?" Hermione wanted to know. "You're really gay? And you have someone?"

"Of course he has." Ron answered his girl-friend. "And it's a he. A he that is a pure blood. And it's not just that. That pendant shows that he has claimed Harry as his own. It's … it's … it's just disgusting."

"What is disgusting is your bickering, Ron!" Harry got to his feet and glared at the redhead. "So what? At least I'm not in a relationship only because it is a relationship. My partner cares, we don't fight and he neither tries to force something upon me just because he's needy nor denies me something I want."

"I'm not needy!" Hermione said with an angry voice.

"But you act as if you were." Harry turned towards her.

"I do not. And I'm not needy!" With a huff she turned and left the common room, went upstairs to the sixth year girl's dormitory, leaving the two boys to their argument.

"Just stop it, it's really revolting. I won't hear anything about it." Ron shuddered. "I don't even have to ask who it is."

"I won't tell you anyway." Harry growled. "As you are so disgusted at the idea."

"It can only be a Slytherin." Ron spat. "They're gay, pure blood, ready to claim a person as their own, and ready to partake in such a kind of relationship."

"So, what kind of relationship is it we're speaking of, Ron?" Harry asked. "You aren't even able to name it. So just shut up and don't you dare to judge anything I do or do not do."

"How could you!" Ron too stood now. "How could you allow anyone claiming you as a property! And how could you allow anyone to … to … to shag you … there. And how could you allow anyone to hurt you like that. You're disgusting!"

"At least I do not have to fight against my own partner. He cares about me and he makes me happy!"

"You're … you're sick! You don't even deny it's a Slytherin."

"So what? What's your problem?"

"You're my problem." Ron shouted. "I can't believe I shared a dorm with a gay. I can't believe I've been friends with the lover of a Slytherin. Who is it? Malfoy? Crabbe? Goyle?"

"You have no idea!" Harry shouted back. Ron really was so stupid. "And it's none of your business anyway. If you would care, then you would be happy that I am happy."

"Happy? About my friend being gay, and with a Slytherin? In such a relationship? Does he beat you? And rape you?"

Harry saw red now. How dare Ron? Snape had done nothing to him. And he even had promised that they wouldn't have to practice BDSM if he didn't want to. Ron knew nothing!

"How dare you!" He growled. "You say we are friends. How dare you!"

"We surely are not friends." Ron seethed. "And if I had known … that … then I …"

"Fine!" Harry turned towards the portrait hole. "Then we are not. I don't care."

"Don't turn your back on me!" Ron screamed and grabbed Harry's arm, turned the other teenager back towards him while at the same time his fist met Harry's face.

"That's what you want anyway, isn't it?" He screamed, while his fist again made contact with the dark haired boy. "To be beaten by a male. To be hurt and to be beaten, to be kicked at and to be whipped. To be bound and to be raped. That's what you want. Are you getting hard now, you freak? Does this feel good?"

With each accusation and with each question Ron continued to beat and kick at Harry who now lay at the ground, not even thinking at fighting back, not even trying to get away and only curling into an as small ball as possible, hoping to protect himself as good as possible. He didn't really understand Ron's problem but right now he didn't care either. Right now he just wanted it over. Yet – he didn't know what to do then.

It was clear he could not stay in his dorm, maybe not even in the common room. But where would he go instead? He wouldn't have a place to stay, really.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

To be continued

Next time in I just wanted to ask

Hiding and first touches …

Added author's note

thank you for reading - and yes, I would appreciate it if you took the time to review this chapter, thank you …
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I just wanted to ask