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Here to Live and Die	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 5833 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I am making no money from this fanfic.

Chapter List
- 7
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- 9
Thank you again for all the reviews!

Chapter Eight--A Kind of Wild Forgiveness

            "What you did was stupid."

            Harry stood quietly in front of Draco. This was part of the price Draco had demanded, that Harry apologize publically to him in front of all the humans. The riders were still aloft, not wanting to come down until they were sure that another storm wouldn't howl up on the heels of the first one, and the mummidade didn't care. Besides, they wouldn't have been able to understand the significance of the apology in words anyway.

            Harry nodded without looking up. Draco was hissing and roaring in the back of his head through the bond, telling him that Harry's action was more than stupid, it was almost criminally wasteful. Who would have protected them against future storms, if Harry had really died in battling that particular one? And what would have happened to them if the riders or the mummidade had been unable to understand them in the future? Harry wasn't the only one who could understand and work with the riders, now, thanks to Hermione spending so much time with them, but he was still part of the only bonded human couple, the only ones that could communicate with the mummidade.

            Harry looked up at Draco's eyes and took a deep breath. He could feel the resentment of the Weasleys gathered around him like a cloak, but not everyone was resentful of the same things. Ron and George and Percy--and Hermione, and Angelina--thought Draco was right and that Harry had done something stupid in risking himself like that. Molly and Arthur and Charlie and Fleur resented the way Draco spoke to Harry and acted like he wanted to humiliate him. Harry had no idea what Bill felt, really.

            But they had no idea about the private conversation that was taking place in the bond, either. Or the fact that Draco's anger was born out of fear.

            "Sorry," Harry said quietly. "I won't do something like that again without asking you about it."

            Draco stalked forwards across the grass between them and shoved his finger into Harry's chest. Harry rocked back a step with the push, he was so surprised, and Draco stalked around him, hissing into his ear. "You won't ever do anything like that again, permission or not, because it was stupid."

            The bond hissed as though Draco knew Parseltongue. Harry reached out and put his hands on Draco's shoulders to balance himself.

            Draco shook himself free and faced Harry with his eyes and his face bright with rage. "I want you to remember that. You don't need to do this, not when you have other people around to back you up. You shouldn't have to do that. But you always think you do, and it's fucking annoying."

            "He's right, you know, Harry," Hermione spoke up. "There's no reason to think that the rest of us won't help you, or that you have to fight every battle on your own."

            Draco turned his face towards her, and she blinked and shut up. That was another thing that was hard to understand unless you were privy to the bond, Harry thought. They probably thought Draco was striking out at everything in sight.

            But even though Draco was willing to make Harry apologize in front of witnesses, he still reserved the excitement of scolding Harry for himself.

            "Don't say that," Draco said. "That's the point I'm trying to make to him. He'll get confused if too many people try to make it to him at once."

            Hermione pulled herself back together and sniffed at Draco. "Well, excuse me for trying to help, I'm sure."

            "You're not helping," Draco began with dangerous fury in his voice.

            "It's okay, Draco," Harry said insistently, reaching out and catching Draco's hands. "It really is, right? I came back in one piece, and Hermione's trying to ensure I stay that way." Draco's eyebrows both rose, and Harry sighed and pulled out the big guns.

            He knelt in the grass in front of Draco, who gaped down at him and nearly lost his hold on Harry's hands, as if he thought that Harry didn't mean it. Then he seemed to realize what other people might think if he let Harry go, and he immediately tightened his grasp, leaning down to murmur through the bond, This had better be good.

            "I swear that I won't do something like that again without telling you," Harry said softly, holding Draco's eyes. "And I won't hold you back from helping me. I can't promise never to do anything like that again, because I might need to fight a storm or react with my wind before anyone else can use their wild magic. But I'll always ask you, and I'll always let you be at my side. All right?"

            Draco licked his lips, looking at Harry without paying attention to the expressions on the faces of the rest of the group. Well, Harry wasn't, either, for that matter. He knew being held back and ignored had irritated and hurt Draco worse than all the rest of it, but Draco wouldn't have brought that private matter into the open. It was something that only belonged to the bond, just like Draco's fear.

            Harry tightened his own hold and said, down the bond, backed with all the steel-colored certainty he could muster, I promise.

            Draco bent and kissed him harshly, so harshly that Harry felt some blood flowing from his bitten lip. Hermione said something, and Harry saw Ron put his hand on her arm out of the corner of his eye. Percy muttered, "Well done," and Bill turned his back and stalked away as if he couldn't bear to watch any more of it. Draco pulled Harry to his feet, still kissing him, and Andromeda turned away with Teddy in her arms.

            The rest of them began to shuffle and cough as Draco pushed Harry towards their tent. Harry let him do it. He had wanted to make certain things public, but that was no reason to make all of them that way.

*

            Draco wanted so much to be inside Harry's pants that his hands shook as he tugged the tent flap shut behind them. Harry obligingly tied it with a bond of wind that felt disgustingly similar to the ones that had kept Draco inside Andromeda's house.

            But Draco refused to think about that right now. He wanted to think about Harry, apologetic and kneeling and already half-naked, in front of him, as the winds skimmed under his clothes and shook them off.

            "You know that what you did was stupid," he muttered, watching as Harry pulled his shirt sleeve off his arm, where it had stuck. It comforted Draco to see that not even Harry's winds were always perfect.

            Harry grinned at him. His eyes were bright, gleaming, and he seemed like he had never knelt in front of Draco before this or begged his pardon. He reached out and put his hands on Draco's hips, nodding agreeably. Draco would have been happier if he could have kept his hips from jutting forwards to meet Harry's pressure.

            "I know that," Harry said, and bowed his head, rubbing his cheek against Draco's erection. "Will you let me make it up to you?"

            Draco cleared his throat. Part of him wanted to refuse and walk away, not least because the other humans would be watching the tent flap and know exactly what was going on in here. But he had come here for this, and after a long hesitation that did make Harry's hands falter a little, he reached out and tugged Harry to his feet, kissing him hard enough to make Harry wince and reach a hand up to his lips.

            "You can make it up to me," Draco said, and stepped back, and folded his arms, and let Harry do all the work.

            He had the help of his winds, of course, which made it less fair than it would have been otherwise, as a way of making up for his error. But maybe it was better this way, Draco thought, shivering a little as the breezes slid beneath his trousers and floated them off in the direction of the bed. This way, he got Harry's mouth on him faster.

            And Harry didn't try to do anything stupid like make Draco cold by using his winds. Instead, his mouth was there in seconds, wet and warm and--

            Draco closed his eyes and tilted his head back, staggering around until he fell on the bed. If he leaned against a wall of the tent, there was every chance it would rip open, and he didn't want that. Speculation was bad enough.

            Or so he thought. His mind got clouded pretty quickly, he had to admit, and he spread his legs some more to accommodate Harry between them and groaned.

            Harry reached up, stroking Draco's knees, driving them further and spreading them. He moaned around Draco, and Draco bucked his hips up, forcing his way deeper into Harry's mouth, almost ashamed of how much he liked that. But he couldn't stop himself, and Harry shuffled closer on his knees, mouth widening.

            Draco's own wild magic sprang out on his fingers, cutting small slits in the packed moss of the bed. Then Harry opened further, and seemed to relax some essential muscles that he'd never managed to relax before, and Draco made an incoherent noise as his hips and arse rose straight off the bed.

            Harry pulled back when Draco was almost on the verge, licking his lips and staring up at him. "Your choice," he whispered. "I didn't ask you before, so I'm asking you now."

            Draco clenched his teeth and reached impatiently for Harry's head. "I want you," he said.

            Harry smiled at him, distant and bright as some of the stars that were coming out overhead, beyond the tent's walls. "I know you do," he said, and stood up, displaying all of himself, naked and brilliant, to Draco. "But that doesn't tell me very much about what you want me to do."

            Draco snarled at him, and, from somewhere unexpected when his arms and legs were still shaky and his knees unwilling to support him after the assault of Harry's talented mouth, grabbed Harry around the waist and whirled to bear him to the bed. Harry's eyes went wide in a most satisfying way, and Draco kissed him and crawled on top of him, leaving him to reach the obvious conclusion.

            Harry hummed and arched up against Draco, and Draco stifled a smile as he reached for his wand. If Harry hadn't really been as eager for this as Draco was, then their lovemaking would have lost half its pleasure for him.

            And that's another thing's that changed. Before, he would have been just as pleased to take Harry to bed whether he was completely willing or not; in fact, that he couldn't keep himself away from Draco when he was less willing added some spice. But now, he wanted Harry here because he wanted to be here.

            Harry ducked his chin down towards his chest when Draco tried to kiss him on the mouth, though, and looked up at him through his lashes. "Come on, put it in me," he said breathlessly, and Draco realized that he hadn't actually cast the spell for lube, he'd just been staring at Harry like an idiot.

            Draco nodded and took his wand more firmly in hand, casting enough to coat his fingers with the clear and glistening liquid. Harry purred and spread his legs broadly enough that it looked painful. But Draco looked into his face as he reached into Harry with three wide-spread fingers, and Harry only shut his own eyes and made small, satisfied noises.

            Draco slid his hand more firmly into Harry when he saw that. Harry grunted and rocked in response, his moans seeming to rise out of the center of his chest. Draco pulled his hand back and took himself in his palm, wincing and holding still for a moment. If he wasn't careful, he would complete what Harry's mouth hadn't.

            Harry opened one eye. "Scared, Malfoy?"

            Draco rammed in hard just for that, and took some delight in the way Harry's mouth and eyes both gaped as though he didn't understand what he'd been asking for. "Not at all," Draco said smoothly. "Savoring the moment. But since it seems you don't want to do that..." He took Harry's hips in his hands and set a particularly brutal pace that sent Harry sliding all around the bed before Harry took hold of the sides to steady himself.

            They made love like that, Draco thrusting furiously and Harry thrusting back, snarling at him with his mouth open when Draco hissed again about how stupid he had been. Draco supposed it wasn't the most romantic thing to say, but damn it, he'd had enough of Harry's reckless stupidity. He hadn't done anything that foolish in a while, and then he did something that made up for all the weeks of quiet at once.

            Harry did reach up and clutch his hand, and send a quick apology down the bond. I'm sorry. I wouldn't have--

            Draco grunted and shut him up with a rough thrust. They hadn't been doing much communication through the bond until that point, and he was happy that way.

            Harry writhed and gasped beneath him for the rest of their lovemaking, and only bright twinges and sparks came through the bond, pleasing Draco. He ended it all with a push that sent Harry sliding almost off the bed, and Draco shuddered and collapsed next to Harry, still writhing a little in pleasure.

            Harry put Draco's hand on his own erection and gave him a pointed look. Draco idly stroked and squeezed, and smiled gently when Harry gasped.

            "Oh, this?" Draco asked, and bent down, opening his mouth. He thought Harry was holding his breath; that was the only reason he would be able to be as still as he was. But Draco didn't suck Harry, just brought his tongue closer and closer, until he let the very tip brush Harry's cock.

            Harry came just as nosily as if Draco had gone all the way. Draco laughed to himself and curled up next to Harry, leaving it to him to clean up the mess. Draco was feeling hollowed out by his earlier fear, his anger, his attempts to get out of the house where Harry had caged him, and the exhilaration of riding the wind and seeing Harry, finally, rise to his full potential to defeat the storm because of the need to protect Draco.

            That wasn't the only reason I managed to do it then.

            Of course it wasn't, Draco said, and surrounded the whole response with stinging little prickers of doubt, which made Harry roll his eyes at Draco.

            Harry did use his winds to clean up, and the last thing Draco saw before he shut his eyes and succumbed to sleep was a quick whirl of color near the bed, sifting out the moss and drying the mess.

*

            "You're sure that you want to do this today?"

            Draco's eyes were shadowed. Harry nodded, and, because he looked unconvinced, sent a quick caress down the bond, focusing on the back of Draco's neck. Draco jerked a little towards the invisible touch, but never took his eyes from Harry, nonetheless.

            Harry had to sigh. "What, did you think that I would never agree to speak to the mummidade and learn about this dance? And I don't think they bear you any grudge for defending me the other day."

            Draco looked across the meadow towards the nearest grazing herd, which included at least two of the four bodies that usually made up Westshadow. "They might also get angry at me because I spied on them," he said.

            Harry wound his hand with Draco's and squeezed. "We both watched them dancing. They'll have to get angry at both of us." He didn't bother pointing out that, one or both of them, it was the same thing to a mummid, because to them, individuals didn't exist except as a pair, minimum.

            Draco rolled his eyes. It's useless trying to keep secrets from someone who can read your thoughts, you know.

            I wasn't really trying, Harry snapped back, and left Draco to chew on that before they turned again to face the mummid herd that was nearest. Already white heads were lifting to regard them, and golden horns and golden eyes both seemed to fix on them. Harry thought their horns and eyes were actually near the same color, making them both bright and equally unnerving.

            "Who should we ask?" Draco muttered.

            Harry shook his head. If they'd had any idea of the name of the pair who performed the dance on the seashore, he would have suggested asking them, but they didn't. And surely more than one pair or group had done the dance and produced a child. So they remained, still, until a trio of mummidade formed and trotted out to look at them.

            Harry didn't recognize any of these particular mummidade, and he thought he would have, since one of them had a distinctive curl of white fur hanging down in front of its eyes. He took a deep breath and linked his hand and thoughts with Draco's. The mummid who stood in the back of the triangle promptly reared up and placed one hoof on the back of each of the front ones, and Harry felt a mind reaching out to them.

            Shaken grass, wind blowing up and down, whirling seeds and blossoms through the air...Tempest Harry told Draco, and Draco nodded a little.

            Harry couldn't think of any better way of telling them the truth than showing them, especially when they didn't have the deeper bond that Westshadow was capable of to communicate in words. He showed them the image of the pair of mummidade dancing by the edge of the sea that he and Draco had witnessed, and how magic had filled the sand between the pair, a child woven from the dance.

            There was a long silence, mental and physical, although one of Tempest's bodies shifted and stamped a hoof. Then the mummid who had had a hoof braced on each back dropped down and fell in between the other two, coming closer. Harry had thought that one must be younger and not as experienced in forming bonds, since it needed the physical contact to feel its partners, but seeing its slotted eyes this close, as they examined him carefully, he changed his mind.

            Back came many images, a sleet of images, a tempest of images, appropriately, as they saw pairs dancing on the shore, and on the meadow, and on a flat, rocky plain Harry and Draco hadn't seen so far, conjuring the winds and the magic to bring them children. It was stained with a quiet, calm gladness that the real humans knew about this secret, and then the images faded out and Tempest waited.

            It doesn't know what we want, Harry realized, startled. It probably wasn't really a secret to them in the first place.

            He exchanged a look with Draco, who had worried so much over almost injuring the mummidade, and got a glare in return. Draco shook his head, probably warning Harry to be quiet, and then faced Tempest and inclined his head. That was the closest either of them would get to an apology for his worry, Harry thought.

            Well, you didn't think that they wouldn't care, either.

            Harry nodded in acknowledgment, squeezed Draco's hand back, and worked with him to send an image of Draco and Harry dancing on the same seashore, the magic coalescing with blue-green brilliance between them. He had no idea how to take it further than that, since neither of them had watched two humans dancing like this and they didn't know if the magic would actually work and form a child for them.

            For some seconds, Tempest was silent, its goat-like tails twitching, and then the three bodies moved so that the mummidade were standing together with their necks entwined. Harry didn't know if that was a bad sign, and he sent a quelling thought when Draco started to worry it was. They really didn't know yet, of course. So he made Draco wait, and Draco finally stopped biting his lips and stood quietly beside him.

            Two other mummidade broke away from their herd and rushed up to Tempest. When they joined it, Harry knew, Tempest ceased to exist, and another "individual" manifested. But perhaps they needed these extra bodies to answer Harry and Draco's question. Harry remained motionless for now.

            The newcomers reared up and put their hooves on Tempest's backs the way the first triangle had done. A new image came to Harry, the sun rising, for a second before a complicated image formed. Like a huge painting, Harry had to pause and look at different parts of it before he could really understand it. He could feel Draco doing the same thing beside him, his breath rushing in excitement.

            The nearest image was of that place on the seashore, or one that looked so similar Harry couldn't readily distinguish it, with a dip in the sand and Harry and Draco standing near it, their ankles in the water, a pair of mummidade between them on either side. The water came running in and splashed Draco's legs. A moment later, the same curling wave struck Harry.

            The water joined with the wind in the second part of the painting, in some manner that Harry felt more than he saw, since the only visible sign of the wind was the water droplets dancing up and down in the middle of the circle they had formed. The wind rose, roaring, and then did become a visible whirl above their heads. The Harry and Draco in this section of the painting stood with their heads tilted back to watch the wild magic above them, but Harry couldn't see any sign that his pictured self was attempting to influence the wind.

            The next section showed the mummidade dancing between them, and Harry and Draco reaching over the circle to hold hands. The power that descended on them was made of that wind and water, the droplets spinning so fast around their heads that Harry couldn't see their expressions now. He could feel the way Draco's emotions wrenched and jumped at the sight. He had wanted to learn the dance from the mummidade, but he had wanted to do it by themselves then, without help.

            I'm just glad that they don't see any problem with teaching it to us, Harry reminded him.

            Draco grunted and stood still next to him, as they considered the next section of the image.

            This did show them dancing, or at least so Harry assumed. They were caught in the process of leaping into the air, their heads thrown back and their arms spread. Their legs arched in a way that Harry hadn't known human legs could bend. Beneath them kneeled the mummidade, their horns touching the sand and their forelegs folded beneath them as if they were horses bending down for someone to mount.

            The last image was a wash of blue and clarity, the colors of the water and the wind. Harry studied it, then nodded. He didn't think even the mummidade knew what would happen if two humans tried the dance, not for certain, so they weren't able to show the child that might result from it.

            "What was that?" Draco's voice was a murmured gasp.

            Harry shook his head at him as he opened his own eyes. "Our future," he said. "If we choose to accept it."

            He looked back at the five mummidade, and they repeated their image for him, the sun rising. This time, Harry noticed the mass of blue cloud beneath the sun, and nodded. Bluecloud would do for a name.

            "If we accept their help," he added.

            Draco's future family obviously mattered more to him than his pride, because less than a second later, he was nodding.

*

            Sasunarufan13: Harry might have been ready to take Ron and Hermione’s scolding at first, instead of Draco’s, but it worked out well for all concerned. ;)

            Thanks for reviewing.

            SP777: More it’s that most of my experience writing romance is gay romance, and the biggest market for fantasy books insists on slap-slap-kiss heterosexual romance and love triangles, both of which I hate and suck at writing.

            Was the punishment enough?
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Here to Live and Die