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"To Change Your Life"	By : AnasumiHideki Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 7884 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I make no money from writing this here story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Note: @ Christpoher: They need a reality check? Seriously? Considering the fact that Lily was willing to dump their entire friendship over him saying a word she didn't like is pretty screwed up. Obviously, she had no intention of ever being his friend again in canon. Now that he's seeing Hermione, it seems he has a bit of a good reason to be angry with her over the fact that she didn't bother to try to talk to him again until she saw him with her.

That being said, it is not the intention of this story to be a "bash-on-Lily" bullshit. It's about changing outcomes.

On to:

Severus found that he couldn't help but feel bad about the way he had handled the situation with Lily as he thought more about it. However, the very idea that she had been willing to give up their entire friendship over him saying something he didn't mean at a moment when his anger was at a maximum had showed him she wasn't in it.

The rest of the year, she hadn't said a word to him. Wouldn't give him the time of day, much less spare a goblet of water if he was on fire. Lily had been so wrapped up in James after she warmed up to him, that Severus had no choice but to accept it. No matter how much it hurt him to watch it happen.

Now, he was angry again. Angry, because she wanted nothing to do with him after he'd used the 'M' word. But suddenly, now that she had seen him around with another girl, she seemed to be doing everything she could to try to edge her way in again. He had heard of it happening all the time. He'd read enough in his life to know what was going on.

His mother's romance novels were full of this kind of drama. The kind where the female counterpart, or vice versa, lets their partner down hard or even easy, and then feels overwhelming jealousy, knowing they've ended up with another. It was the fact that she knew he was moving on that made her feel the way she did. Not that Severus really cared for James Potter's feelings, but he also couldn't help but feel how unfair it was to him as well. Furthermore, why did Potter even feel the need to deliver her message to him anyway? Surely not just so he could get a little taunting in before-hand.

"Maybe James isn't the jealous type?" Hermione asked after Severus explained to her what he was thinking. Severus shrugged. "Why ask me? You seem to know more about everyone here than I do."

"Well, in my time, it was known that James was a bit possessive of her. Very fierce when it came to Lily, but he wasn't controlling. It seemed he was very nice to her. I mean, obviously... She married him." Hermione shrugged.

"I just don't understand why she would want anything to do with me now. She basically told me to never speak to her again, so... I didn't. I hardly think she wants to be my friend. Were she and I friends after school?" Severus asked with a curious look in his eye.

Hermione smiled sadly, shaking her head. "As far as I know... The two of you didn't ever speak again after your last fight."

"Ah.." was all he could say. "Do you think I was too hard?" he asked after a few moments of silence.

Hermione shook her head, smiling a bit. "You've been known to let your mind speak for you, Severus. You're not exactly the easiest person to get along with, but it's a wonder to me that she was willing to give it all up over just that one instant. I think you do have a bit of a right to be angry about this; her not talking to you again until she sees you with someone else. Given the things I know... It is rather confusing."

"But you say it's a good thing..." Severus stated, rubbing his hands over his eyes. He had a headache from trying to understand just what Lily's intentions were.

"It's good in the sense that you're not falling for a potential situation where someone is just going to walk all over you. If that should turn out to be the case. Maybe you should actually hear her out if you're curious, Severus. If it doesn't seem likely to you that she wants to be your friend, given the circumstances." Hermione offered. She hated to see him beat himself up about it.

Severus shrugged. "What if she suddenly wants something more than to be friends? I honestly don't know if I could handle that. I don't... feel that way for her anymore." he added quietly, fidgeting with his hands.

"Well then... If you really want to know, the only thing you can do is listen, and then get to a sort of reconciliation with her. Perhaps in the coming future, you two can be friends again, if that is all you want." Hermione supplied.

Severus nodded and sighed. "I need to talk to her then. I do feel that I should apologize. At the very least."

Hermione smiled, giving him an encouraging nudge. "Go on then. She might be doing nightly rounds at this hour. Perhaps you'll catch her?"

Severus stood from the leather sofa, readying himself to leave the common room. "Thank you, Hermione." he said before turning to leave.

"Not a problem. I'll be here when you return." she assured him as she settled into the sofa with a choice book in hand.

Severus walked quietly through the corridors, checking the alcoves and corners for any sign of Lily. It didn't take long for him to catch sight of her, rounding a corner just ahead of him. He strode quickly after her before she had a chance to disappear into Gryffindor Tower for the night.

"Lily." he said. She stopped, surprise written on her face as she turned around to face him. "Hi..." she replied, sheepishly.

"Look... I'm very sorry about the way I handled our chat earlier. I've been angry with myself about it all day. The more I thought of it, it was very unfair. Both to you, and myself." he began. "So, I've made the choice to seek you out, because... I want to know just what it is you want from me. I just find it rather odd that you choose to break all ties of friendship with me over a word out of anger, and don't speak to me again until you see me with Hermione. I just don't understand it."

"I realized..." Lily seemed to swallow hard; her voice sounded small and choked. "I realized that my choice was ignorant. To let go of a friendship because of your personal interests and a word. I realized that I'm not you, and I can't decide what you like and what you don't. Your right... You do have a right to be a little vexed over my timing to choose to speak to you again. I had actually thought very hard about it. Whether I should just leave you be, or try to reconcile. And then I see you with her. How happy you look. The way you hold her hand and smile at her. James just isn't as warm and thoughtful as you seem to be now. I feel that I've lost out on you."

She shifted her gaze to the floor, and for a moment he was almost afraid she would cry. It made him uncomfortable when people cried. Not because of their emotions, themselves, but because he never knew what to say. Not like Hermione always seemed to.

"Lily... Honestly, ask yourself... Do you really see yourself being happy with someone like me?" Severus asked, gently steering her to sit on the bench at their right. Lily sat, staring at him for a moment before she replied. "I'm not sure." she whispered.

"Well,-" Severus began softly, "I happen to think that James Potter will make you very happy. And, who knows,-" he shrugged, "maybe... just maybe... you two will start a nice little family with a beautiful little boy. Or girl." he added quickly, just for the sake of it.

Lily smiled at him as she rested her head in her hand. "She does make you happy, doesn't she?" she asked quietly.

Severus nodded. "She's shown me more care in the past month than I have ever experienced in my entire life. I cannot help but love her. Not to mention, we seem to think on a very close level when it comes to ideas and such. I believe she's rescued me. In more ways than one..."

"Severus... Do you think we could at least be friends again? If there is no chance of ever working up to it being more, that is." she asked, unsure of how he would answer.

He let his gaze wander to his hands that seemed to glow in the moonlight pouring from the window behind them. "I think that my friendship is all I can offer to you, Lily. Be happy with Potter, as well. As much of a prat as he is,-" Lily chuckled, "- I think you two look rather nice together."

"Do you really mean that?" she asked, sounding rather surprised. Severus nodded. "I'm not the type to complement anything about Potter just for my health." he replied as he stood, straigening his robes.

"So,... are we friends?" Lily asked slowly, holding her hand out. Severus gently took her outstretched hand, giving it a light shake. "Friends." he repeated.

Lily smiled happily as she also stood from the bench. "Well then... thank you, Severus. Sirius and James haven't been to horrid this year, have they?" Severus shook his head. "Potter started to be, but Hermione has a quick tongue."

"Well that's good." she said. "Maybe she and I can be friends as well."

Severus nodded. "Perhaps so. But, I must go, as it is after curfew. She's waiting on me to get back, as well."

"Yes," Lily agreed with a sigh. "I'd hate to have to give you a detention." she smiled, joking about her status as Head Girl.

"You wouldn't dare." Severus narrowed his eyes at her before letting a smile replace his glare as she pulled him into a hug. "Goodnight then, Severus. I'll see you tomorrow." she said, letting him go.

"Okay. Tomorrow, then." he said, before setting off back down the corridor. The whole time he made his way to the Dungeons, he couldn't help but feel another huge swell of gratitude toward Hermione. Because according to her, he had lost his best friend. She never spoke to him again. Hermione had persuaded him not to make the same mistake 'twice', and he couldn't be more grateful.

Lily would go on to marry James. It had to be so, considering Hermione's knowledge of their future. They were meant to be with one another. That much was clear.
- 7
- 8
- 9
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"To Change Your Life"