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Muggle Things	By : RavieSnake Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 54521 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the concepts or characters from it. I make no money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
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- 9
“Where are you going?”
Draco carefully replaced the porcelain container of Floo powder on the mantel before him and cradled the small handful of the glittering substance he’d extracted from it in his hand before turning to face his father.
“Out,” he answered simply. Lucius Malfoy’s right eyebrow ticked upward as he regarded his son and walked toward him.
“I gathered,” Lucius said smoothly, stopping at Draco’s side and leaning forward on the walking stick in his left hand, “I asked where.”
Draco shrugged as he turned back to the fireplace. “Wherever I want,” he replied coolly. He made to step forward then but was halted by the walking stick suddenly thrust out before him to block his path into the Floo.
“Please move that,” Draco requested flatly, his eyes locked straight ahead. Lucius did not move.
“You have not left this house but a handful of times since you graduated and yet of late I find you sneaking out almost daily. I want to know where to,” Lucius said with the ghost of a warning tone within his voice.
“I’m not sneaking anywhere,” Draco said back evenly, “Now kindly move aside.”
Lucius moved the stick to rest against Draco’s chest. “Tell me where?” he asked with narrowed eyes. Draco’s nostrils flared as he finally glared sideways at his father.
“To London,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Whe-“ Before Lucius could finish his question, Draco took hold of the walking stick and shoved it down and away from. He quickly stepped into the Floo, throwing down the powder, and disappeared into the resulting flash of green flames.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You want to head out for a bite?” Harry asked as he poked his face into the crack he’d opened in Hermione’s office door.
Hermione looked up from her reports and nodded. “Sure. I was thinking soup today? There’s that little place on the corner.”
Harry shrugged. “Fine by me,” he replied, opening the door further and holding it as Hermione came around her desk with her bag.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Draco stepped out of Hermione's Floo and was immediately smacked in the face with a floating piece of paper. He snatched it from the air with an irritated scowl and brushed at his clothes. He stood still and glared at Hermione’s cherry wood floors as he took several calming breaths. A flash of grey in his peripheral snapped him to attention and he darted his eyes around the room.
“Hermione?” he called out only to hear his words echo in the obviously empty house. He frowned a little and finally looked at the paper clutched in his hand. The frown softened into a small smile as he unfolded it and read Hermione’s feminine script.
Draco,
I hope you had a lovely weekend.
Per our agreement, you may help yourself to any of my Muggle books and DVDs and may use the entertainment system. You may also help yourself to any of the food in the kitchen.
Now, I want to make it clear that I've specially warded the house for your presence. You may go into the living room, sitting room, upstairs lounge, kitchen, dining room, first floor bathroom, and the guest bedroom.
I highly recommend you do not try to venture anywhere else in the house without me.
You will not enjoy the consequences should you attempt it.
I will be home from work around six.
- H
P.S. Odin knows you now, so he should be friendly. Don't give him a reason not to be.
He smirked at the last line just as he felt something rub against his leg. He glanced down and startled slightly at the sight of Odin pawing at the end of one of his shoelaces. Draco folded the note, stuffed it into his pocket and then, taking a chance, bent down to scratch the top of the kitten’s fluffy head.
Odin immediately startled at the contact and darted like a flash across the room and disappeared behind a set of long curtains only to appear a moment later at the top of them, clinging to the rod, fur puffed up and wild eyed. Draco shook his head at the animal and backed slowly out of the room.
“Crazy little shite,” he muttered to himself as he made his way into the hallway toward the stairs. He finally turned around and grinned up at the second floor. He jogged up the stairs and when he made the landing, stopped to see Crookshanks standing in Hermione’s bedroom doorway staring him. Draco eyed the dark bedroom beyond and took a step forward, but then stopped and laughed when the cat laid down purposefully in the middle of the doorway.
“Are you standing guard then?” Draco asked the cat. Crookshanks merely blinked his wizened yellow eyes at him. Draco huffed a little and turned toward the guest room door. He remained in the hall standing just outside of the room and pulled his wand.
“Accio my jeans,” he said with a quick flick. Nothing happened.
Draco’s face twisted with confused annoyance. “Accio jeans!” he said more forcefully, making sure to execute the wand movement precisely. Still nothing happened and Draco held his wand up to his face and narrowed his eyes at it.
“Oh, no you didn’t,” he smirked to himself. He gripped his wand a little tighter and flourished it.
“Lumos!”
Not even a spark. Draco slashed his wand shouting out a series of spells in quick succession only to still have nothing happen. He stood in the hall and considered his wand in his hands for a long moment and then gave a resigned sigh.
“So it’s Muggle all the way then,” he said, putting away his wand and finally stepping into the room. “Clever girl.”
He stopped midstep when he saw the bed and smiled.
A pair of his jeans was already laid out on top of it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hermione idly stirred the bowl of soup in front of her before sipping a small spoonful.
"So," she started, looking across the table at Harry and setting down her spoon, "How's Gin holdin' up?"
Harry shrugged as he stirred at his own bowl. "She's still having the false contractions. Molly moved in over the weekend to ‘help out’." He rolled his eyes at his own comment and Hermione stifled a giggle.
"So Molly's being Molly then?" she grinned. Harry gave her a 'that's-an-understatement' look and then took a bite of his soup.
"She's driving us both barmy, Hermione," he added after he swallowed. "She keeps insisting that the baby's coming at any moment."
"I thought Gin wasn't due until next month?"
"She's not," Harry answered. "Merlin knows I love Molly, but..." he trailed off with a frustrated shake of his head and took another bite.
Hermione simply smiled at him and picked her spoon back up.
"So, how was your weekend?" Harry asked. "Did you finish that new potion you were telling me about?"
Hermione shook her head as she swallowed her mouthful of soup. "No, I didn't even make it down into the lab this weekend."
Harry raised an eyebrow at her. "No? What did you do instead?"
Hermione shifted a bit in her seat and shrugged lightly as she stared at her bowl. Harry smirked and narrowed his eyes at her.
"Hermione...what did you do this weekend?"
"I uh...I was up rather late Friday night, so I slept in on Saturday and then spent the day cleaning and resetting my wards. And then Sunday I was busy making arrangements about some Muggle stuff," she answered quietly.
“Why were you up late on Friday?” Harry asked.
“Well…I uh, might’ve had someone over.” She grimaced a little and then glanced up at Harry whose smirk had morphed into a wide grin.
“Someone…who?”
Hermione shrugged again. "Just a friend."
Harry leveled his gaze at her. "It's not like you to be so evasive. Everything okay?"
"I think so," she answered tentatively. "I hope so."
Harry furrowed his brow a little. "Either it's okay or it's not. Is this friend bothering you? Do I need to arrest someone?”
Hermione chuckled. "No, not yet.”
"Then what's going on?" Harry asked seriously, setting down his spoon. Hermione sighed heavily as she stared at her lunch.
"I'm helping a pureblood wizard learn Muggle activities and culture," she answered truthfully. She continued to gaze at her bowl as she worried her bottom lip between her teeth.
Harry arched an eyebrow and Hermione placed her head in her hands. “So, wha-”
"It's just...he barely knows me,” she blurted out, “Well, he's known me for years, but he doesn't really know me. You know? But he acts like we've been friends forever and we have most definitely NOT been friends before now and he says these things that makes me think he's interested in me, but then he always has this, this, this look and I can never tell if he's joking or being serious and I'm so confused because one minute he's playful and the next he's serious and he calls me an orphan in one sentence and lovely in the next and...oh gods, Harry, I feel like...I don't know.
“I feel like I like him when he smiles at me like he does and when he makes these little innuendos but then I remember who he was and remember Bryce doing the same thing and even Ron and they're all the same and I'm plain old, no fun, bookworm me and it all ends with me alone, buying another cat, wearing a boring pantsuit while I go to work by myself in my miniscule, terrible, tiny, little office with no window every day."
Harry stared back at her with wide eyes. "Uh...wow," he said gently. "Been holdin' that in have you?"
Hermione made a whimpering noise behind her hands and Harry laughed.
"Why are you laughing," she demanded, lowering her hands to cast him a sulky glare. Harry looked at her adoringly.
"You are just funny is all."
Hermione's eyes started to narrow further and he quickly added, "You're funny that you think you are in any way boring."
Hermione cocked an eyebrow and Harry went on.
“Hermione, you are the most interesting person I've ever met. You can do things with magic that blow me away. You even have a bloody potions lab in your basement. How many people do you know that have actual labs in their basements?”
“I’m not sure that really qualifies me as -”
“And then,” Harry cut her off, “You singlehandedly started your own office in the Ministry. You’ve gotten what… five new laws pushed through the Wizengamot?”
“Six,” Hermione said with a humble blush.
Harry grinned teasingly back. “Though, I suppose it does help being on a first name basis with the savior of the Wizarding world and all..." he said with a waggle of his brows.
Hermione gave him a playful kick to his shins and he laughed again. "And then of course there’s the fact that you're just brilliant and caring and beautiful. Hermione, any bloke that doesn't appreciate you is a moron."
"You sound like my mum," Hermione muttered back, though her mouth had risen into a small smile. She sighed and began stirring her soup again. Harry watched her for moment and then nudged her leg under the table.
“Who is this bloke, anyway? I know him?”
Hermione looked up at him. “Yes, you know him,” she answered with a wary expression.
“And…who is he?” Harry coaxed. Hermione worried her bottom lip again as she looked at him. She opened her mouth to respond when her mobile suddenly rang loudly in her bag.
“Sorry,” she said as she dug around in the bag to retrieve the phone. She pulled it out and her eyes went wide when she saw the caller ID. “Oh! I’m so sorry, Harry. I really must take this.”
Harry waved at her indicating that he didn’t mind and merely continued eating his lunch as Hermione answered the call.
“Hello?... Yes… Oh, thank you so much for getting back to me so quickly. I…”
Harry watched intently as Hermione paused to listen to the person on the other end. Her face went from anxious to happy in an instant.
“You’re sure? This Saturday? Oh, my goodness. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I know it was short notice and all and…of course I know, but still… yes, I’ll tell him… You’re sure this is no trouble? I wouldn’t want to… Alright…yes, I will…I always do…Thank you again. This really means a great deal to me. I owe you…Nonsense, we’ll pay regular price…I wouldn’t dream…oh, alright… Is there anything else you need from me before…oh…his, his name?”
Hermione paused her conversation to stare wild-eyed at Harry across the table. Harry raised his eyebrows at her and she audibly gulped as she swallowed before answering the person on the other end of the phone.
“Do…do you really need his name now? I’m sure that… oh, I see. Well… his name is…” she paused once more and her face pulled into an apologetic grimace as Harry eyed her curiously and spooned another bite of soup into his mouth.
“His name,” she said rather more shrilly than she intended, “is Draco Malfoy.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Draco furrowed his brow at the remote control in his hand and scratched at his scalp.
"Damn it all," he cursed to himself from his place on Hermione's living room couch. "Which bloody button was it?"
He pointed the remote towards the television and began pushing buttons at random. "Come on, play already," he snarled at the blank blue screen. He huffed a breath when still nothing happened and tried to think of what Hermione had told him.
"If you have trouble, you can read the users' manual," he voiced her remembered words.
Draco got up from the couch and went back to the entertainment center and pulled down the small white booklet Hermione had mentioned from one of the shelves beside the DVD cases. He thumbed it open with a scowl.
"Easy enough for a toddler, my arse," he grumbled. He glared at the pages as he read out loud. “‘In order to operate your components you must program your remote using either brand code entry, direct code entry, manual code search and entry or auto code search and’…what in the actual fuck!?”
He growled as he abandoned that page and leafed roughly through the small book until he came across a labeled drawing of the remote. “Here we go…”
He squinted back and forth between the drawing and the actual remote in his hand. Tongue out in concentration, Draco sought out the INPUT button and, with the remote determinedly aimed at the television, pressed it. The screen came to life with the movie’s start menu and Draco whooped in triumph.
“Who’s the ignorant, boring wizard now, Tori!?” he spat at the television, chucking the manual back at the shelf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry was choking.
Hermione hastily ended her phone conversation and rushed around the table to hit him on the back.
“Breathe, Harry. Just breathe,” she said, slightly panicked as Harry spluttered with his hands to his throat. He gave a hard cough and a chunk of potato jettisoned from his mouth to the table. He took several greedy breaths and looked up at Hermione with watery eyes.
“Mal…Malfoy?” he rasped, “You…you’re helping Malfoy?”
Hermione slunk back to her seat and gave him a sheepish shrug. “Yes?”
Harry straightened in his chair and pushed his glasses back up his nose. “Malfoy?” he repeated in disbelief. “Draco Malfoy. The same Draco Malfoy that we went to school with?”
“You know another Draco Malfoy?” Hermione sighed. Harry blinked at her at an apparent loss for words. He shook his head.
“Malfoy?”
“I think we’ve established that it’s Malfoy,” Hermione said with a touch of annoyance. Harry looked shell-shocked as he ran a hand through his hair and leaned back.
“How did…I don’t…what?” he stammered. Hermione frowned at him slightly as she went back to stirring her soup.
“I’m helping Draco learn how to do-”
“Draco?” Harry’s eyes went a touch wider. “You call him Draco?”
“He asked me to,” Hermione said. “He’s much more casual than I would have thought. For instance, when he was over on Friday-”
“Wait! You had Draco Malfoy in your house with you by yourself!?" he said angrily.
"Yes," Hermione answered defiantly, "In fact he's probably at my house right now as well."
Harry openly gaped at her. "Hermione," he scolded, "that is so dangerous. What the hell are you..."
"You don't think I've taken precautions?" she interrupted with a fist to the table. "You know damn well how intricate my wards are."
"He's a Death Eater."
"Was a Death Eater," Hermione corrected. "He's different. He-"
Harry shook his head with a disgruntled scoff and Hermione scowled at him.
"You vouched for him at his trial," she nearly spat at him.
"So?" Harry said, throwing down his spoon, sending little sloshes of soup over the side of his bowl, "Just because I didn't want the git going to Azkaban doesn't mean I want him to-"
"Don't want him to what!?" Hermione cut him off sharply. Harry's glare softened and he blinked back at her.
"I don't want him to hurt you," he said after a minute. Hermione's angry, rigid posture relaxed and she slumped back in her seat.
"I'm just teaching him how to do Muggle things," she said quietly after another stretch of silence. Harry furrowed his brow a bit.
"For what purpose?" he asked seriously.
Hermione gave a weak shrug. "I really don't know his motivation. He just sought me out and asked if I would help him."
“He just sought you out,” Harry echoed dubiously. “We haven’t seen him in five years and he all of a sudden shows up on your doorstep and says ‘Hey, Hermione. Show me Muggle things’?”
“Six years,” Hermione corrected with a tiny smirk that Harry frowned at.
“Okay, six years then…”
Hermione’s face went serious again. “And it wasn’t on my doorstep. We met by chance at a party a few weeks back. I showed him how to use a trampoline.”
“You showed Draco Malfoy how to use a trampoline.”
“Are you just going to keep repeating everything I tell you?” Hermione asked, crossing her arms.
“I’m sorry,” Harry sighed, shaking his head a little, “I’m just having a bit of trouble wrapping my mind around this.”
“You’re not the only one,” Hermione muttered. Harry watched her resume picking at her lunch and twisted his mouth in thought.
“You shag him?”
Hermione’s head shot back up. “Of course not! We’ve only seen each other a few times and-”
“So you’re considering shagging him then?” Harry asked, picking up his drink and casually taking a sip.
“I…” Hermione’s mouth opened and closed several times as she blinked at him. “I don’t…no. No of course not. Don’t be ridiculous,” she finally answered with a forced chuckle. “I mean…he’s Malfoy and I’m…well I don’t think I have to tell you that I’m not exactly his type.”
“You said he makes innuendos?” Harry asked with another pensive look.
“He says little things. Like he wants to see me try on swimwear and tells me my arse looks good and-”
Harry spluttered on his drink.
“And he wants me to show him how to have Muggle sex,” Hermione finished despite his reaction. Harry’s jaw was open as he gawked at her. He snapped it shut and shook his head with an apologetic smirk.
“Holy shit,” he said with a whistle. “If anyone but you’d told me, I wouldn’t have believed it.”
“Believed what?”
“Malfoy’s mad for you,” Harry laughed.
“That’s just it, Harry,” Hermione said uncertainly, “I don’t know that he is. I think that’s just how he talks. We never really got to see him without the sneering act before, but…Well, I think he’s just crass in this quasi-innocent sort of way and says whatever he wants.”
Harry’s smirk got wider. “And he wants you to show him how to have sex.”
“Muggle sex,” she clarified.
“There’s a difference?” Harry laughed again. Hermione hid her head in her hands again.
“What are you supposed to do with him this Saturday, anyway?” Harry asked with a nudge to her leg under the table again.
“It’s his birthday,” she muffled behind her hands, “so I arranged a surprise for him.”
Harry tilted his face to the sky and held his hand over his brow and squinted his eyes. Hermione lowered her hands and looked at him curiously.
“Harry, what are you doing?” she asked as he appeared to scan the heavens.
“I’m looking for the flying pigs,” he answered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hermione stepped out of her Floo to the sounds of a dramatic musical score. She hastily pulled off her work robes and hung them with her bag near the door before making her way to the living room.
"Draco?" she said, stopping in the door frame to see Draco laid out across her couch, face turned to the television, a great ginger cat in his lap and a tiny grey one on his shoulder. His eyes darted to hers at the sound of her voice and he smiled.
"Your cats have taken me hostage," he said.
"I can see that," Hermione chuckled, taking a step into the room. “Did you have a productive day?”
“This is the third movie I’ve gotten to. Then I tried my hand at making myself a Muggle lunch like you suggested. You’re little notes on all of the kitchen doohickeys were helpful. Though I did have a bit of trouble with the microthingy.”
“The microwave?” she started as she leaned out the doorframe to see the kitchen. “What did…oh my god,” she gasped at the sight of the blackened microwave with its partially melted door still hanging open. “What the hell did you do!?”
“It didn’t seem to like the can of soup I put in it.”
“You put in the whole can?” Hermione asked, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“You didn’t specify that I couldn’t,” Draco answered unperturbed. Hermione inhaled a calming breath.
“I’ll be sure to be more thorough with my instructions in the future,” she sighed with a last grieved look at the destroyed appliance.
“I’ll buy you a new one,” he called out to her. Hermione straightened back up and, with a shake of her head, turned her attention to the movie he had playing.
"This is a...an interesting choice,” she commented.
Draco shrugged where he lay and then winced when Odin extended his claws into his shoulder at the movement.
"Curious to see how Muggles view vampires," he replied, looking back at the screen. "I find their portrayal comical. Really…they think vampires can’t touch a crucifix? And what the hell’s with the exploding in the sun bit?”
Hermione didn’t answer as she furrowed her brow slightly at a rather violent scene and then looked back down at Draco's lounging form as he idly stroked Crookshanks.
"So are you going to join me or are you just going to stare at me all night?" Draco asked without taking his eyes off the screen.
“I…I’ve had a long day. I think I’ll just head up to bed. You can stay until the movie is finished if you like.”
Draco looked back at her with a playful grin. “Would you like me to tuck you in?”
Hermione stared back at him for a moment. “Why do you care about Muggle things?” she asked from where she stood. Draco’s grin faded.
“I just do.”
They stared at each other for a long minute until Hermione finally nodded.
“Well, then…perhaps I’ll…I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night, Malfoy,” she said and then disappeared out the door. Draco furrowed his brow at the empty doorway and then looked down at Crookshanks in his lap.
“Good thing I didn’t mention the oven,” he muttered to the groggy feline. Crookshanks merely blinked and lowered his head to snuggle against Draco’s warmth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: I’m sorry this had to be a bit of a filler chapter. Fun chapter next…Draco’s birthday surprise. :)
Thank you starr, Coranassa, Severus1snape, Nichole-Hermione, ChaosLady, HG4eva, Victoria, Trelweny, Missus_G, Poppets, Ditto-Princess, ssdawning, brig506, Meldz, Kyonomiko, and shadowsoftheday for your reviews!!!!
They are like a snuggly hoody on a crisp autumn day.
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Muggle Things