Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Lunaticus Book One: Half Moon	By : JBankai89 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Remus Views: 18455 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, I gain nothing from this but a way to pass the time.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Chapter 8 – Full Moon

Waking up in someone's arms was something Harry had yet to get used to. While it was not an unpleasant way to wake up in the strictest sense, in Harry's haze between sleep and waking, it always took him a moment to remember who was holding him, and why. The days passed and the full moon drew closer; and as a result Harry was subject to waking with a distinctive hardness pressing into his back in the morning, which added a new dimension of fear to his mind regarding the constant presence of the bond.

Harry knew Remus well enough to know that he would never push, despite his body's insistence. Each time it happened, Remus would wake as Harry tried to slip from his embrace and, mildly mortified, he spit out a number of blundering apologies before he'd take off for an extra-long shower. Harry knew it wasn't Remus's fault, but that knowledge did little to calm the panic that would pool in his stomach every time it happened.

Paired with the awkward, mixed emotions that came with each morning, Hermione had begun writing to him almost daily. At first, her letters detailed the ongoings of life outside Grimmauld Place, but as the full moon drew closer, her letters also carried information she deemed important, as well as near-constant reassurances.

Harry, (she wrote)

I've been cross-checking my sources, and you won't be able to leave Remus to his own devices that night. Being his mate, he'll feel compelled to seek you out. He won't hurt you, even without wolfsbane there's no record of a werewolf ever harming or turning their human companion unwillingly. But he'll need your company, and the days following helping him recover will help settle the bond more quickly.

Also, it may be a good idea to look at the notes I gave you regarding the Claim of Dominance. It's sort of a rite of passage thing for the first moon transformation the bound couple experiences, and it's pretty important. I mean it, read up on it before moonrise that night.

We're all doing well, we miss you. I hope this thing gets sorted soon and we can come visit. It'd be nice to see you and not have to worry about Remus biting our heads off!

Good luck.

Love,
Hermione

Nearly every letter was the same, though it did not help settle his nerves nearly as much as Hermione had probably hoped that they would. The thought of the 'claim of dominance' she had referenced made him nervous, and Harry had done his own research about the accidental claim and the full moon following it. While there was the constant reassurance in nearly every text he read of, 'no threat of violence', the idea of hanging out with a fully grown werewolf on the full moon filled him with near-blinding terror. His last encounter with Remus's werewolf form had not gone over particularly well, and he wasn't keen to repeat the experience.

“Morning,” Remus squeezed Harry's shoulder as he passed, allowing his hand to linger for a moment before he dropped into the chair opposite. Harry smiled, and a warmth replaced some of the panic he felt. It still unnerved Harry how quickly his feelings seemed to be changing from panic and fear to some form of affection, and he didn't know whether or not that was a good thing. Harry busied himself with the marmalade to avoid the casual morning chat. Remus seemed to understand that Harry wasn't in any mood to talk, and allowed the meal to pass in silence.

In between mouthfuls of toast, Harry went over the day's at-home work he'd been assigned, and felt his stomach lurch at the attached photos. God, Harry thought, these people are sick. He casually flipped them over so that Remus wouldn't see. Harry summoned a self-inking quill with a lazy flick of his wand and went over the report, comparing the details with the previous werewolf murders he'd seen over the last few months.

From across the table, Harry heard the rustle of Remus picking up the morning's copy of the Daily Prophet, followed by the distinctive cluck of his tongue to signal his irritation. “Your disappearance is still headline news, it seems,” Harry looked up at his words and Remus turned over the paper, to show a photograph of himself from a couple weeks earlier defending Remus from the attack that had started all this. Below it, the headline read: Remus Lupin and Harry Potter Still Unaccounted For, Mystery Deepens

“Do I want to know what that article says?” Harry asked with a derisive snort as Remus flipped the paper back round and opened it.

“I doubt it, considering it's your dear friend Miss Skeeter who wrote it,” Remus set down the paper and began to read, while taking a sip off his teacup. “According to this, I'm holding you hostage and doing unspeakable acts to your person, which, apparently, includes some rather taboo magics regarding your reproductive organs.”

“Oh if that's all,” Harry snorted and returned to the reports, the pair of them falling into comfortable silence.

While Remus's comment had been innocent enough, it managed to make Harry's stomach churn with worry. The full moon was days away, and Harry was not blind to the intense looks of longing the man had given him more than once over the last few days. While confident that Remus wouldn't do anything Harry wasn't ready for, it did little to quell his anxieties. He had tried more than once to picture himself in intimate situations with the man beyond the casual touches they'd done so far. Unfortunately, it was as though his mind seemed to have created a mental block, and Harry simply couldn't picture it, much less actually do it. Harry gave himself a little shake, and tried to focus on his work.

The day passed slowly, and Harry struggled to mask his ever-growing cabin fever. He hadn't been housebound like this in ages, and he wasn't used to staying in one place for so long. Harry knew Remus felt guilty about the entire situation—even if it was Harry's fault to begin with—and he didn't want to add to the man's guilt by showing how antsy he was getting. Luckily, the at-home work he had been assigned that day took up a generous chunk of his morning and afternoon, the various files spread out across his favourite writing desk in the library as Harry struggled to find a pattern.

“Well, that looks like fun,” Remus commented from behind Harry, causing him to jump. He turned and Remus's face fell a little. “Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.”

“No, no, it's all right Remus. I was just a little...preoccupied, I guess.” Harry smiled apologetically, and the older man pressed a cup of tea into his hands.

“You've been working on these all morning, you need a break.” Ignoring Harry's halting protests, Remus all but dragged him from the library and into the sitting room, where he forced him down onto the sofa.

“Pushy werewolf,” Harry smirked while Remus chuckled, sitting at his side and easing back a little. Harry sipped the tea he'd been given, to find that it was prepared exactly how he liked it. “Oh, that's lovely,” Harry eased back against the cushions with a sigh. “Maybe you're right, but this case...it's different somehow.”

“How so? Or, are you not allowed to say?” Remus lifted an arm, and Harry at once eased into the offered embrace, while he chuckled softly at the question.

“No, it's fine. It's weird, because usually Red Moon murders are random, just...carnage. There was no way to suspect where they'd strike, so we had the Ministry print these flyers in the Daily Prophet warning the werewolf population to stay safe...But now, the attacks seem more planned out, more deliberate. The last few we've been called in on have been werewolves involved with a human partner and who've had children.” Harry shivered a little, memories of the photographs coming back to him, while Remus's arm around him tensed slightly. “I dunno...it just seems like it's leading somewhere, but we can't suss out what that somewhere is yet.”

“How many have you seen like this so far?”

“Six,” Harry sighed, taking another sip of his tea. “We've got over a dozen orphaned and traumatized children and no leads. If we don't stop this soon...” Harry trailed off, sighing with frustration. “I hate this, I feel so helpless,” Remus's hand moved from gripping his shoulder to rubbing at his back while he sipped his tea, and Harry could feel his muscles sagging under the light ministrations.

“It's possible the murders are part of a Dark magic rite, though offhand I can't think of what kind.”

“I'll mention that in my report, see what we can dig up,” Harry laughed bitterly, “who would've thought I'd ever regret having those books on Dark magic destroyed.”

“You did the right thing, Harry,” Remus's hand shifted again to squeeze his shoulder gently, “if a Dark Wizard got their hands on those books, they could cause some serious damage. It's better that they are no more.”

“I hope you're right,” Harry moved one of his hands to twine his fingers with Remus's, and squeezed his hand gently. “Just promise me that you'll be careful, at least until all of this is over. I'd...” Harry felt his face grow a little warm, “I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you.” Harry would have felt the same way if the claim hadn't happened, but now that it had, his innocent words seemed to carry more weight to them. Remus shifted a little closer and perched his chin on Harry's shoulder, but he didn't offer a response.

“I better get back to work,” Harry set down the empty cup on the table, and it vanished at once. He reluctantly untangled himself from Remus and stood up. “Er, thanks, for this I mean. I did need a break,” Harry smiled weakly, and headed back to his work.

With Remus's suggestion in mind, he packed up his notes and drafted a letter to his supervisor, detailing his findings, and a request to look into possible Dark curses that required ritual murder. He sent Strax off with the work, the owl wavering a little under the weight of the package he carried. Harry watched until the owl was little more than a black speck on the horizon, then turned back to see Remus watching him, his arms crossed casually as he leant against the door frame. Despite the nonchalance of the stance, Remus's eyes told another story. In the glow of the setting sun, the bands of light seemed to highlight the honey gold in his hair and eyes, and Harry could feel his heart flutter. The desire he saw written all over the older man's face overwhelmed him and he had to turn away, a hand pressed to his chest. It still unsettled Harry how quickly things seemed to be moving, and he could not decide whether or not it was a good thing.

An arm slinging around his shoulders startled Harry from his thoughts, and he turned to offer Remus a weak smile. The man's expression softened, and for a moment Harry thought Remus might try to kiss him, but instead he let Harry go and wandered back into the main part of the house.

As evening gave way to night, the pair ate and passed the time in one another's company, each man lost in his own thoughts. The clear night sky showed the moon, so close to full, and the sight of it seemed to agitate Remus. It was quite clear to Harry that the older man longed to do more than the casual touches they'd shared so far. But as with the morning, he did not push.

Harry tramped up to bed that night with his werewolf companion on his heels, and they performed their evening rituals in silence. Harry eased into the folds of the duvet with Remus at his side, one arm draped casually over Harry's midsection, pulling him in close. He moulded into the shape of Remus's form, and Harry felt a lump of nervousness in his throat. “Remus?” He asked, his voice sounding more tentative than he had intended.

“Hm?” He lifted his head off the pillows and looked down at Harry, the arm across his midsection shifted a little, holding onto him more securely.

“I—I was just wondering...Er, what we can expect for the full moon on Saturday? I mean, I know you said that would never hurt me and all that but...” Harry trailed off, looking up at the man apologetically. He was certain that Remus could feel how tense he was, the thought validated a moment later when Remus moved to rub at the rigid muscles of Harry's abdomen, his expression pensive as he thought over Harry's question.

“The wolf in me...it is base animal instinct. With the wolfsbane, it clears my mind and calms the instincts, but it does not purge me of them. It's akin to giving a Calming Draught to a distressed witch or wizard.” Remus's mouth quirked into a small half-smile, his palm resting flat against Harry's stomach, his thumb brushing back and forth across the exposed skin. The look on Remus's face told Harry that he was likely unaware that he was doing it at all, but he didn't stop him. “I have never had a bonded mate like this before. I have had...partners, but never with this level of intensity. It is generally unwise for humans to be near me even if I am taking the potion, and my partners were no exception to that rule.

“But this bond goes deeper than human emotion, or my base instincts as a werewolf,” Remus continued, looking down at Harry significantly. The hand across his abdomen moved up to his face, and his rough, large hand traced the contours of Harry's jaw. The intimate touch made Harry shiver a little, and he stared back up at Remus, feeling for a moment very much like a trapped prey animal. “You have nothing to fear from me, Harry; I swear it.” He paused, his eyes flitting back and forth as he studied Harry's face, then released him, curling his arm around Harry's waist once more. Harry leaned into the embrace, staring off into the semidarkness, wishing he could be as certain about his safety as Remus was.

~*~

Despite Hermione's near-daily owls bearing words of reassurance, as well as Remus telling him repeatedly that he had nothing to fear, by Saturday Harry had worked himself into a state of near-hysteria. The morning dawned to a steel-grey sky, which couldn't seem to decide whether or not to rain, and the weak sunlight refused to peek through the cloud cover. Harry woke with Remus more tangled about him than usual, and with each attempt he made to extricate himself, Remus would shift to compensate. At first, Harry wondered if he was doing it on purpose, but true to his word, he had been a perfect gentleman ever since this whole thing had started, would he really stop now?

Harry had finally given up trying to escape, and allowed Remus to cling to him like he was some sort of oversized teddy bear. As the sky slowly began to brighten, the dark clouds shifting to an off-white, Remus began to stir. He groaned softly and Harry felt his hot breath tickle the bare back of his neck, closely followed by the gentle brush of lips against the side of his throat. Harry's breath hitched, more in surprise than anything else, and he quickly pulled from the contact. Harry sat up, his face bright red, unable to meet Remus's eyes. “Sorry Harry,” he mumbled, his sleepy tone apologetic. Harry felt a pang of guilt, but he was still unable to look towards the other man.

Harry had known that Remus would be a little different the day preceding moonrise, but it did little to make him feel any more ready for physical intimacy with the man. “No, Remus, it's okay. I don't mean to make this hard on you, I just...” A hand resting on his blanket-covered thigh cut off Harry's apology, and he looked up into the tired, but gentle smile of the older man.

“I've told you from the start Harry,” Remus moved to hook the same arm around Harry's shoulders, a form of contact that Remus knew Harry had grown to enjoy. “You don't need to push yourself, or go further than you feel comfortable with. I will not be upset or offended if you ask me to stop.”

“I-I know,” Harry eased back into the embrace with a frustrated sigh, “I just wish I could make this easier for you, that's all.” Remus chuckled a little, and rested his chin on the top of Harry's head.

“You're doing more than I could ever justifiably ask of you, and you did it of your own volition. I am forever in your debt, Harry.” Remus's voice had taken on a husky quality, and his arm around Harry had tightened slightly.

“I couldn't not do something Remus!” Harry's eyes widened in horror when he thought of what would have happened, had he rejected him. “You would have...” he trailed off, his mouth pulling into a frown, “I—” Harry tried again, but his words had been cut off by lips pressing into his hair. Harry shivered a little, but the sensation was not entirely unpleasant. His eyes fluttered shut, and he pressed himself against Remus, and the older man held onto Harry more tightly. He could feel an edge of possessiveness in the embrace, and where once it had terrified Harry, now it made him feel safe.

Harry was once more struck by how unnerving that concept was. It had been such a short span of time, and yet his memories of his time with Ginny were fading into the background of his mind, as though it was a relationship from years before, instead of weeks. At the same time, his closeness with Remus felt more like they had been seeing each other for several months, instead of a handful of weeks. The arm around him felt so right, like it belonged there. Was it part of this bond, or had he really fallen for Remus that quickly? Harry shifted nervously, staring into space as he mulled it over. Remus seemed to sense his worry, and he squeezed Harry gently. “Harry? Are you all right?”

“Fine,” he mumbled at once, though he couldn't meet Remus's worried gaze. “Just thinking about things,” he untangled himself from the older man's embrace, who seemed reluctant to let him go. Harry felt eyes on him as he stooped to gather clothing for the day and headed out for his morning shower.

~*~

Harry spent extra time in the shower in an effort to ready himself to face Remus. Moonrise was in ten hours; it did not feel like enough time to brace himself for spending a night in the company of a fully grown, transformed werewolf. Harry cast a silencing charm on the door to keep Remus from hearing him dry heave into the toilet.

When he finally made an appearance at the breakfast table, Remus was nowhere to be seen and the enormous portions Kreacher always prepared had been decimated. A portion had been left for him under a warming charm, but before he had been given time to ponder the state of the breakfast table, Kreacher wandered by, muttering darkly under his breath. “Nasty werewolf eating poor Master Harry out of house and home...Oh, where will that leave poor Kreacher when nasty werewolf decides to eat Master Harry, with no heirs for poor Kreacher to look after...” Harry rolled his eyes as he tucked in to his reserved portion.

Remus seemed to have disappeared, and as Harry wandered through the house, the man was nowhere to be found. He tried to remain calm, but his stomach refused to untangle itself. After searching for him for the better part of an hour, ('eight and a half hours until moonrise,' he reminded himself) Harry gave up and went to the library.

The Black Family library had been all but destroyed. Any dark volumes that could pass as advanced Defence Against the Dark Arts had been donated to Hogwarts, and the rest that were too dangerous to be kept had been incinerated. This had left the Library pitifully bare, save for a small section dedicated to Harry's old school textbooks and handful of books on Quidditch.

Following Remus moving in, most of the shelves were now full. Harry pressed his lips tightly together to keep himself from laughing; he knew that Hermione would probably never leave Grimmauld Place if she saw Remus's collection. Pushing aside the amusing image of her camping out in the library with a muggle torch and sleeping bag, he took a seat at one of the few desks crammed into the place, and summoned Hermione's tome of notes with a casual flick of his wand.

The notes Hermione had amassed for him were no longer the neat stack it had started out as, and were now creased and careworn. It was filled with page markers, passages were underlined or circled, and the most important bits he had changed the colour of the words to a vivid red. He knew that he would find no new information in the pages, but the words were a cold comfort. Picking out a bright orange page marker, he flipped to the section he wanted.

The day and night of the full moon will be a time of great stress for not only the werewolf, but the claimed human as well. Lycanthropy is extremely taxing physically, and the werewolf will be much more sexually active, physically active, and have a much larger appetite than usual as their body prepares for the change. Wolfsbane will have no effect on these aspects, as without this physical preparation (extra food intake, in particular) the change is often very painful.

The human companion may feel extreme anxiety, as the werewolf is still a creature of instinct, and not rational thought. Often it will be up to their werewolf companion to quell their fears, as the less nervous the human companion is, the more amicable the pair will be following the transformation. This is not to say that if the pair are experiencing a tense situation at the time of the full moon that the werewolf will become violent. However, the few studies available concerning this topic suggest that the werewolf will be more agitated following the change, and there have been accidental werewolf bites in a handful of cases.

In most cases, both in oral interviews and on record, the werewolf will be fiercely protective of their human companion following the transformation. It is therefore unwise for the human companion to be in the company of others during the full moon, as the werewolf will see the other humans as a threat to their mate. This applies in particular to humans who have partial nonhuman characteristics, e.g. an Animagus form, partial Lycanthropy, Veela heritage, etc. In particular if the nonhuman elements are canine or lupine in nature, the possessiveness of the werewolf will be more pronounced.

The werewolf in its transformed state will be drawn to its mate/partner, and it is ill-advised to separate the pair during the full moon. This will be extremely painful for the werewolf, and many documented cases of these bonds suggest doing so will bring on severe masochistic reactions.

In no case, record, or oral statement has there ever been any record of intentional harm inflicted upon the human companion. The human is as safe with the transformed werewolf as they are with their human counterpart. All that is required of the human is their presence and support, as it is said that the presence of their mate/companion lessens the physical pain of the transformation, and improves their quality of life during the full moons.

The first transformation of the werewolf following the claim will likely be the most stressful on the human companion in particular. In addition to the prospect of being expected to spend an extended period of time in the presence of a fully transformed werewolf, they will also be subject to the Claim of Dominance.

The Claim of Dominance is vital to the wolf accepting the human as their mate. Some humans have entered into the bond ignorant to this rite of passage, and this has ended in tragedy of the wolf not accepting the claim and killing their potential.

The human must willingly and with full understanding of their actions submit to the werewolf. They must show their wolf that they see them as the dominant of the pair. Generally the show of submission will be incited by the werewolf, and completed by the human. Most commonly, this will involve the human laying on their back and exposing their stomachs and throats to their werewolf. The werewolf will then close their jaws over the throat of the human, then release them.

It is extremely important that the human of the pair not panic. Displays of fear or an attempt to get away may be seen as an act of rejection or dominance, and may result in an accidental turning or even death.

Harry brushed his fingers over the words, wishing he could feel more confident in Hermione's technical reassurances. The concept of this Claim of Dominance utterly terrified him, and he wondered often if he would be able to keep his head through it. He heard the faint creak of a floorboard, too heavy to be Kreacher's catlike footsteps, and a moment later Remus's arms wrapped around Harry's upper arms in a gentle embrace, with his chin resting lightly on Harry's shoulder. “All right?” Harry's mouth quirked into a small smile, and his breath tumbled out of his mouth halfway between a nervous giggle and a tremble of fright.

“That is the question, isn't it? I—I'm just, well, you know.” Harry tried for a good-natured laugh, but it did little but heighten his fear for the coming night. The arms that held him caused a vastly different reaction however, and Harry was startled to feel an electric thrill run through him at the older man's touch. At Harry's words, Remus's embrace tightened for a moment, and he could feel the man's hot breath tickle the side of his neck.

“I will not hurt you, Harry. I swear it. I have taken all the necessary precautions, I have taken my potion, and had I not, you would still be in no danger. You are...” Remus trailed off, and Harry felt that telltale tingle in the pit of his stomach, and his breath hitched a little in anticipation. “You were my potential, now my mate, for lack of a better term I promise, you'll be fine.” Harry reached up and squeezed Remus's forearm gently, wishing he could be as certain.

~*~

True to what he had read, Remus was like a teenage boy in overdrive throughout the remainder of the day. He fluctuated between eating through a sizable chunk of Harry's stores, reorganizing his books and the placement of the stacks in the Library, and sitting with Harry—much more closely than usual. The latter of his activities was slightly mind-boggling to him, as it was quite clear that Remus was struggling between stifling his obvious desire for him, and longing to be physically close. It had left Harry feeling slightly dizzy, with no idea how to appropriately react.

In many ways, Harry felt as though he'd travelled back in time, and again it was the night before the Triwizard Tournament's Second Task. Time seemed to speed up for him, the hours dissolving away into nothing, and with each chime of the grandfather clock, Harry felt no more ready to be alone with Remus's werewolf form than he had a week ago.

His panic had reached its peak by late afternoon, and it was bad enough that he had Kreacher bring him a Calming Draught. Harry felt like the potion had done little to calm him, and his heart nearly burst from his chest when he felt a warm hand slip into his. Jarred from his thoughts, Harry looked up to Remus's strained face, “it's time, Harry.” Harry looked out the window, and saw the orange and pink glow of sunset. Where had the time gone? Harry felt as though he'd only just had breakfast. Swallowing his mind-numbing fear, he forced a small nod. Remus tugged lightly on his hand, his skin hotter than usual, and Harry stood on stiff, unsteady limbs and followed him upstairs.

Harry was trembling from head to foot, and every attempt he had made to calm himself was about as effective as dousing a forest fire with napalm. The light of the sunset was more pronounced out of the bedroom window, casting the room in a warm, gentle glow. Remus let go of Harry's hand and grabbed his upper arms, forcing him to sit down on the end of the bed. “I'm sorry Remus,” Harry whispered, his voice shaking. “I'm just...”

“I know,” Remus replied, cutting Harry off, his own limbs trembling slightly, though for an entirely different reason. He carded his fingers through Harry's hair, stopping to cradle the back of his head in his hand. Remus pressed a tentative kiss to Harry's temple, his breath hitched and his eyes fluttered shut at the gentle contact. “Breathe. It will be all right, I promise,” he stood, and began to shed his clothing. Face burning a little, Harry turned away to give Remus some privacy.

Harry could feel the moment when the sun bowed its head to the moon. The very air seemed to thicken, and Remus's fair body had gone rigid. Bones crunched, his form shook, and Harry turned his head at last, watching with wide eyes as Remus's jaw lengthened, his spine crunched and reformed, grey and tawny hairs sprouted thickly over his form, and all to soon, Harry was face-to-face with a creature from his memory.

The werewolf was virtually unmistakable from a true wolf, except it was much larger. Harry sat rooted to the spot, watching the creature sniff the air and paw at the floor absently, leaving deep scratches in their wake. Harry held his breath, and didn't dare move as he watched the werewolf, all Remus's reassurances flying out the window as he watched wide-eyed as the werewolf slowly turned to face him.

His insides turned to ice as a low growl escaped the werewolf, and it slowly loped forward. Harry felt sick with fear, but at the same time, he was virtually frozen, his vaunted Gryffindor courage utterly shattered. The creature passed his personal bubble of space and the large, wet nose stopped just short of Harry's cheek. It took a great sniff, Harry's breath caught in his throat, and only vaguely remembering the words of the text he'd read a mere handful of hours earlier, he slid slowly to the floor.

The enormous wolf nudged him and growled, and still practically hyperventilating with fear, Harry lay down on his back, arms splayed at his sides, and he exposed his throat to the werewolf. His heart hammered wildly in his chest as the creature loomed over him, and Harry struggled to keep still. A nose pressed into his clothed navel, and snuffled its way up his chest to his throat. It was a strange sensation, but still Harry kept as still as he could, not wanting to give the werewolf any reason to harm him. As the text had said, a moment later Harry felt teeth close around his throat—feather-light but still hard enough that Harry could read both the praise in it and the threat—I accept you, but I still have the power to kill you.

Hot breath and teeth disappeared, and Harry felt the soft scrape of a lupine tongue dragging across his cheek. Harry's eyes flew open and he turned to face the enormous creature. The werewolf was sitting down before him, its mouth open and panting in a clear wolfish smile. “Moony?” Harry's voice came out very small, and the werewolf offered a small yip in recognition. He reached forward, hands trembling slightly, and his fingers tangled gently in the thick wolf fur. Remus yipped again, nudging Harry with his muzzle, in what Harry could only guess was the creature's attempt at reassuring him.

Still shaking a little, Harry sat up and pressed his back into the side of the bed. Moony rested his overlarge head on Harry's shoulder like he had done so often in his human form, and he felt a small, almost hysterical laugh escape him. Harry reached up and stroked the fur along Moony's maw, enjoying the way the mixture of soft and coarse hair fell through his fingers. “God, Moony, you have no idea how scared I was...” Moony lay down, his enormous head in Harry's lap, and looked up at Harry with a near-human expression in his amber gaze that Harry could read all too easily. “Okay, yes you did, but I think seeing is believing in this case, y'know?” The werewolf's mouth opened in another wolfish grin, before lifting his head to nudge at Harry with his muzzle. Harry managed a weak smile, and reached out to card his fingers through the soft fur again.

“I'm sorry for putting you through so much shit Moony,” Harry said softly after several minutes of calm quiet, his fingers still threaded through the thick fur, but not really moving. “I mean, I know you say it's okay, but it's really not. I want to be...” Harry felt himself flush, and jumped a little when he felt a cold nose nudge his free hand. “I want to be able to love you,” Harry shivered a little at the admission, “I'm just...I'm not quite there yet.” the tip of a canine tongue brushed against his knuckles, and Harry's mouth quirked into a small smile.

Harry didn't move much that evening, contenting himself to sit with Moony and fill the silence with inane babble, uncertain whether or not the werewolf would remember it come the morning. Harry rather hoped he didn't, as he could not recall ever laying himself bare like that with anyone—not even Ginny.

“I wish I knew why it's so much easier to talk to you when you look like an overgrown husky,” Harry ran his fingers through the thick fur, his knees pulled up to his chest and held in place by his free arm. Moony nudged his cold nose against Harry's jaw as though to reassure him, which elicited a small laugh from him, “I mean, like this you could rip my heart out or, I dunno, eat my kidneys or whatever, but...” he trailed off as the werewolf shuffled closer, nudging his enormous muzzle against Harry's cheek. He smiled, and reached up to pet the enormous head, pressing his cheek back into the soft fur, “you're just...you. I dunno if that makes sense, I can't remember ever feeling so safe with anyone before, I mean, not like this.”

Moony shuffled forward and sat directly next to Harry, enabling him to lean into his soft, furry side. He closed his eyes, and felt again that sensation of perfect peace and safety cover him like a cloak.

“I hope everything will be okay,” Harry murmured a few minutes later, alarmed at the swell of emotion that suddenly filled him. “Like...it's only starting to hit me that this is for life y'know? It's not a few weeks, or a few months, or even a few years. It's for life. I didn't think I'd have much of one while I was at Hogwarts but now I do and...” Harry cut himself off, aware that he had begun to ramble, and he felt himself go a little red. Moony shifted and Harry felt the canine tongue scrape across his cheek again, then the enormous head rested gently atop his. “Thanks Moony,” Harry whispered, falling back into comfortable silence.

Evening pressed on, and Harry performed his evening rituals with an enormous, hulking shadow. It reminded Harry of Crookshanks performing Bathroom Sentry Duty, as Ron called it. The ginger cat would sit outside the loo and wait for Hermione, not moving a muscle until she reappeared. Having a werewolf do essentially the same thing was nothing short of hilarious in its strangeness, and Harry felt a significant portion of his worries related to the bond slipping away as the night progressed.

Harry settled into his usual side of the bed, his panic that had been at the forefront of his mind throughout most of the day had utterly exhausted him. He stifled a cavernous yawn as the werewolf climbed up and settled down next to Harry, the bed groaning under its weight. “G'night Moony,” Harry mumbled, as he set his glasses on the bedside table and snuffed out the lights with a small flick of his wand. In his sleepy haze, and not entirely aware of just what he was doing, Harry rolled towards the curled up werewolf and burrowed his face into the soft fur, a gentle sight of contentment escaping him as he fell asleep.

~*~

The perfect peace in which Harry had fallen asleep with was absent the following morning. This was not due to the fact that he woke curled in Remus's arms, which was no longer unusual to him, but the fact that the older man was very much naked.

Harry's eyes fluttered open slowly, Remus's face inches from his own, his skin ashen, his cheeks hollowed, and dark circles ringing his eyes. He looked as though he hadn't slept in weeks, and Harry felt a distinctive warmth creep up his neck, as he could feel Remus's bare legs tangled with his own clothed ones. He shivered and he struggled to curb the impulse to yank himself from the embrace. No matter how close they had become over the last few weeks, the little voice at the back of his mind insisting that his feelings were changing too quickly and it was all too soon refused to be silent. Harry also could not help but notice how full moon had utterly drained the older man, and Harry was reluctant to rouse him. As he watched Remus, he mumbled in his sleep, drew Harry closer, and burrowed his face into the crook of his neck.

His soft, even breaths tickled Harry's skin, and he could not suppress the shiver that ran through him. Harry caught his lower lip in his teeth and sucked on it as he tried to figure out how to get up without waking Remus. Unfortunately, along with the fact that Harry was in no way ready to be subject to Remus's full monty, his bladder was telling him to get up, now.

With his mind clouded by the desperate need to pee, Harry carefully extricated himself from Remus's hold, and the werewolf did not wake up, but seemed minutely distressed by the sudden lack of a warm body next to him. He reached forward and blindly pawed at Harry's pillow that he'd vacated seconds before, and pulled it close to his chest. Smiling in amusement at the scene he'd just witnessed, Harry padded silently to the loo and relieved himself, then tip toed downstairs.

“Master is alone this morning,” Kreacher said the second Harry reached the main level. The elf seemed rather pleased by Remus's lack of appearance, and Harry could not help but roll his eyes.

“Remus is sleeping,” Harry frowned a little at the elf, who seemed to not see the disapproval, or if he did, he was stubbornly ignoring it. “Can you please make me a tray of food to bring up to him? Something with lots of energy?”

“Of course Master Harry,” the elf bowed low, Regulus's locket scraping against the dark stone, “Kreacher lives but to serve,” there was something biting in his tone, but Harry wasn't keen to push it. Kreacher would get over his dislike of Remus in time, and Hermione would likely crucify him if he tried ordering him too firmly and she caught wind of it.

Harry waited by the kitchen doors, and soon he was leaden with a tray piled high with sausages, bacon, kippers, salted capelin, blueberry scones, and a pot of tea in the most hideously floral teapot he owned. He carried the lot back upstairs the old fashioned way, given that he had left his wand on his night table. He moved very slowly, afraid of tripping and painting the upstairs hallway with breakfast fare.

When he reached his open bedroom door—their bedroom door, Harry reminded himself—Harry could see that Remus had finally woken up and had pulled on a pair of drawstring pyjama bottoms, though his still looked distinctly woebegone.

“Morning,” Harry cracked a small smile, and Remus's head snapped in his direction at once. His entire body seemed to sag with relief, and his mouth twitched into a small, tired smile at the sight of him. “Sorry, I thought...” Harry felt himself go red, “I know the transformations are hard on you, so I thought you'd rather eat up here, instead of at the table.” Remus gave him a strange, but not entirely unwelcome look. Harry had no idea what it meant, but it didn't seem exactly negative, and he tried valiantly to ignore the way it made his insides somersault.

“That would be nice. Thank you, Harry,” Remus's hoarse voice was barely above a whisper, and his words were paired with a tired smile. Encouraged, Harry stepped forward and set down the food next to Remus, and Harry climbed up to bracket the tray between them.

They spent the morning in bed, sharing the food Kreacher had prepared, with Harry getting up periodically whenever Remus required anything. He had not known what to expect the morning following the full moon, but Harry had not realized just how weakened the man would be until he'd seen it with his own eyes. It made his heart ache, and he wished he could do more for him.

“What are you thinking about?” Remus's voice cut through Harry's musings, and the warm hand covering his own was comforting, where once it would have alarmed him. Harry smiled a little, and used his free hand to magick away the empty tray. He shook his head a little to dismiss the faint concern he saw in Remus's amber gaze.

“Nothing important,” Harry shifted his hand a little to thread his fingers with Remus's. Conflicting thoughts assaulted his mind at the action, but he pushed them back. “I'm just a little exhausted from yesterday. I was...” Harry hesitated, and looked away from Remus, squeezing the older man's hand lightly, “I was really nervous about seeing you as a werewolf, considering the last time it happened it didn't exactly go over well.” Harry cocked a small, half-smile, and Remus huffed as though he was trying to suppress a laugh. “I'm just glad that I know for sure now—that I have nothing to fear, I mean.”

Remus's free hand lifted and carded lazily through Harry's hair. His eyes fluttered shut at the sensation; it felt both strange and wonderful at the same time. Harry felt a small, involuntary sigh escape him, and he opened his eyes to look over at Remus. His warm hand was still resting lightly against the back of Harry's neck, and his eyes were wide and glazed over slightly. Harry averted his gaze, and he felt a warm flush creep up his neck. He knew that look well, one he had seen on Ginny's face more times than he could count. Remus wanted to kiss him, Harry knew that, but what alarmed him even more was how much Harry wanted him to. Alarmed, he kept his gaze on his knees, and slowly Remus removed the hand from the back of his neck, though continued to hold on to Harry's hand

It's too soon, Harry thought fiercely, I broke it off with Ginny what, two, three weeks ago? Why am I so smitten with Remus already? This isn't right, it can't be right. Harry gave himself a little shake, hoping his troubled thoughts did not show on his face.

~*~

It took Remus another two days before he was himself again. Harry never strayed very far from the bedroom; keeping Remus company and calling on a disgruntled Kreacher repeatedly to have him bring Remus food. Remus himself seemed rather amused by Harry's attitude, and had tried to utter protest more than once that Harry's mothering was unnecessary, only to be cut off with a glare. “Don't bullshit me,” Harry had said, turning back to the parchment he had propped on his knees, and returned to his scribbling. “You're weak, I can see it,” Harry chanced a little glance towards the amused werewolf, who was watching him with a small smile “just rest, I'd rather you not overexert yourself and wind up getting ill because of it.” Remus would chuckle and relent, easing back onto his pillows to watch Harry work in silence.

All the while, Harry had felt as though his mind had been utterly overwhelmed with worry, though it was different to the fear he had felt in the lead-up to the full moon. His feelings for Remus were changing, and quickly. The speed of it made him uneasy, and it felt as though things were being rushed, despite the fact that there was no pushing from himself or Remus to move things forward. Harry couldn't work through his tangle of panicked thoughts without feeling queasy, and as a result, he wrote to Hermione under the guise of working on his Auror paperwork.

Remus was still a little tetchy whenever mention of his friends came up. Harry knew it was the magic of the bond at work, and not Remus's true feelings towards Hermione or any of the Weasleys. Because of this, he felt it was safer to keep mention of them to a bare minimum, and kept his worries to himself—he didn't want Remus to feel any more guilty about the entire situation than he already did.

Hermione, (Harry wrote)

The full moon went okay, you were right, I had nothing to worry about. Thanks for all your letters, they didn't help make me any less petrified, but it's nice to have someone other than Remus to talk to.

I was wondering if you could check up something for me, though. You said that this bond-thing doesn't affect the 'potential', at least, not in the same way. But things are moving way faster than I thought they would, like how I feel towards him and things like that. That sort of thing is supposed to take time, isn't it? I mean with Ginny it took months for me to get that far, and with Remus it's all happened in a couple of weeks.

Can you look into it for me? I'll look into what I can here, but your notes didn't say much about it, other than I'm not supposed to feel anything—but I do. It's weird, and I don't think things are supposed to be this...well, rushed.

Say hi to everyone for me,
Harry

Satisfied that he didn't sound nearly as hysterical as he felt, he passed off the letter to Strax when he headed down to the kitchen to wrangle up some more food for his werewolf.

~*~

By the middle of the following week, Remus was back to his old self, though perhaps a little more quiet than usual. Remus seemed to be off in his own little world, and more than once Harry had to call his name a few times before it registered that Harry was speaking to him.

“Any chance you'll tell me what's on your mind if I asked?” Harry would ask when this happened, his mouth cocking into a small smirk.

“It's nothing Harry,” Remus would reply with a small chuckle, and return to whatever it was that he had been doing at the time.

In addition to Remus's behaviour, the man seemed less prone to shadowing him everywhere he went. He was still never very far off, but Harry felt less suffocated by his constant presence, and as they days passed Harry felt as though he was finally able to breathe again. More than once, he wondered whether it was worth broaching the subject of returning to the office instead of being holed up with Remus 24/7. He could not deny that he had begun to wholly enjoy the older man's company, as he had begun to seek out the older man's companionship as much as Remus would seek out his. Despite this, Harry could not deny that his cabin fever was definitely getting worse.

One Friday afternoon, Harry's desk work was interrupted by a pair of warm arms encircling his upper arms from behind, and Remus's chin pressing lightly into the top of his shoulder. Harry smiled, enjoying the way the contact made his heart flutter, and he reached up to lightly squeeze the man's forearm in silent greeting while he leaned into the embrace. “It occurred to me recently,” Remus began, his voice low and almost husky, the tone causing a shiver to run through Harry, “that we entered into this relationship in a rather backward, roundabout way.” Harry snickered a little at the words.

“Yeah, that'd be putting it lightly,” Remus chuckled behind him, and gave Harry another small squeeze. Harry set aside his work and stood slowly, turning in the embrace as Remus's arms slid down to lightly encircle Harry's waist, while he draped his arms casually around the werewolf's neck. The embrace was almost unnerving in its intimacy, but Harry found that he had absolutely no desire to pull away.

“Harry, would you like to accompany me out for an evening?” Harry blinked, the words taking a moment to register.

“What?”

“Would you like to go out with me?” Remus repeated the words, his mouth quirking into a small half-smile, though a flicker of worry crossed his expression. Harry felt his stomach clench, his thoughts at once jumping to the case files he'd been working on, and his recent nightmare—the idea of Red Moon getting their hands on Remus was horrifying. Remembering that Remus had asked him something, he refocused his attention on the older man and attempted to quash his worried thoughts.

“You mean, like a date?”

“That's the general idea, yes,” Remus chuckled, his hold on Harry's waist tightening a little. Harry cast a quick glance to the paperwork he had set aside, where the report on the seventh werewolf murder in as many months lay.

“Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean—” Harry's explanation was cut short by an alarming look of anger that suddenly crossed Remus's features, and Harry realized at once how the words could have been misinterpreted, and he spoke quickly in an effort to clarify himself. “I mean with the werewolf murders that have been going on.” Remus still looked a little tense and wary, and Harry continued quickly, “I'm not embarrassed to be seen out with you, I'm just worried about putting you in unnecessary danger.” At these words, Remus finally seemed to relax, and the small smile returned to his face.

“We'll stick to muggle areas, would that put your mind at ease?” Harry mirrored the werewolf's smile.

“Then yes, I would be delighted to go out with you.”

A/N: Sort of cliffhanger-y. I hope you enjoyed the sheer length of this chapter. I'm trying to spit out longer chapters, hopefully I can keep this up! I will be updating this week on Sunday instead of Monday because I need to do grown up things like run errands all over town on Monday and won't have time to update. Tl;dr, see you guys on Sunday!
- 7
- 8
- 9
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Lunaticus Book One: Half Moon