Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Changes	By : SickPuppy Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 27108 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe belongs to JK Rowling. I am making no money from this.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
CH8 AN: Apothic – thank you for your review. I'm glad you like dark Remus; he is surprisingly a lot of fun to write. Hope you like this chapter, as it is about Harry and Severus' developing relationship. I'm quite fond of this chapter.
Phoenix-rob – thank you for your (gross) review “hope there is no fallout from werewolf cum into anal tears”... ewww! Harry has enough on his plate that Dumbledore dying hasn't really registered. When it does, it's too late (yes, that chapter is written). SP
And to celebrate the wretched writer's smut-block finally clearing and letting me write the Snarry scene, I've decided to post chapter 8 a day early. How I spoil you! SP
---
Chapter 8 – Living with these changes
With Harry seemingly in control of his werewolf side, Snape suggested the two of them going to the Great Hall to eat some lunch with the school.
“Are your senses still painful?”
Harry thought. He could hear thousands of small noises, but it wasn't overwhelming as it had been when he had first changed. “I can bear it. What do I tell people about why I've been missing?”
“When you were bitten, and Albus and I realised you would need some time to adapt, he let it get around that you were on a mission for him and that I was keeping watch on you. Your two friends have helped keep the lie going. So, there is nothing to worry about. No-one is likely to question you as they all think they know what you have been up to.” The DADA teacher rolled his shoulders.
“Are you sure I didn't force you?” the younger man asked, his eyes narrowed. He still felt guilty about hurting his companion and ashamed that the beast had been so vehement.
“You didn't. And, please remember that you didn't turn me. That would have taken a huge amount of control, but you managed it.”
With that, Snape seemed to think enough had been said and led the way to the hall. As it was a Saturday, food timings were more lax – students could drift in as they wished and grab something, rather than have to all sit down for a meal. It meant at least that Harry wouldn't have to make his re-emergence to the entire school and that, once people had seen him, the news would spread and he was less likely to be bothered by people staring.
Snape peered into the hall. Around thirty students were in the room – some sitting at the tables, others milling around chatting and picking at food. It was as quiet as it was ever likely to get. He took a fortifying breath and walked in. Behind him Harry came; he seemed to have shrunk, trying to avoid being noticed.
It took a few seconds before some of the brighter students connected the sight of their teacher to the rumour that he was helping Potter on some mission for Dumbledore. By the time that had sunk in, they had also seen Harry. It was then that the whispering began.
Uneasy, Harry settled at the table nearest the wall – which happened to be the Gryffindor one – and pulled a plate towards him. Severus sat opposite him and deliberately turned around and scanned the room full of children, his eyes meeting and glaring at all the interested parties.
“As you're with me, you should be left in peace,” Snape noted.
“You mean cos everyone is shit scared of you?” Harry said, smiling.
“Indeed.” He lowered his voice, “But remember we are in public. And as far as they are all concerned, our relationship is still one of tolerated loathing. So, no smiles and don't swear.”
“Oh, right, sorry.”
Severus gave Harry a small smile – as the older man had his back to the room, there was less risk of his face being noticed. He reached for a platter piled high with salad and dumped a large amount on his plate.
“It's November!” Harry complained, “Who eats salad in November?”
“I do. And these have all come from the greenhouses at the school, so it's fresh. Now, pass me some sandwiches, please.”
Harry leaned and managed to snag the correct platter. He dragged it closer and helped himself to half a dozen items. Then he stood up and grabbed a small pork pie and added it to his plate. “I love these!” he cried and bit into it. His face registered disgust. “Urgh!”
Severus looked at the pie. Sometimes a new elf didn't quite understand the concept of a pork pie, but from what he could see, it looked exactly as it should do: yellowy jelly surrounding pink meat inside the brown casing. “What's wrong?”
“I don't know. It just isn't nice.”
Harry reached for a piece of crispy bacon and bit in, and again his reaction was negative.
Feeling a theory brewing, Snape suggested, “Try a beef and horseradish sandwich.”
Harry did, and again made the same face.
“I think I know what this is.” The teacher offered as Harry swallowed his mouthful for politeness sake. “Since your change has been mastered, that part of you is buried now. Before, when he could get free you could eat anything and enjoy it as he knew he was really in charge and merely humouring you. Now, I think, he is being a bit controlling in the only way he can – by forcing you to eat meat that is as he would like it to be; certainly less cooked than you would probably usually have.”
“I don't want to eat raw meat!” Harry cried, then lowered his voice. “I'm not the wolf!”
“I didn't say raw. I dare say he'll accept rare. Let me speak with the elves and see what we can do.”
He called softly and Dobby appeared, looking thrilled at seeing Harry again. “Harry Potter! Dobby is so happy to see you!” The shrill voice cut across the murmurs of conversation in the hall and quieted all voices for a moment. Then, once people started up their discussions once again, Snape spoke to the elf.
“Could you prepare a rare steak for Harry please? Nothing too large, as he has never tried one before and doesn't know if he likes it or not.”
“Of course, Severus Snape! Dobby can do that!”
“Quietly?” Snape asked sardonically.
The elf nodded and vanished.
“I assume you have never had a rare piece of meat?”
“No,” Harry seemed to be remembering something almost forgotten. “Aunt Petunia always cooked the meat until it was grey. My uncle liked it like that. And she'd never have contemplated taking me out for a meal.”
“No.” Snape's face was angry. “Bloody woman.”
Frowning, Harry glanced up. “Did you ever meet her?”
“I knew her as a child. Your mother and I were best friends before we came to Hogwarts. And, naturally, I ran across Petunia occasionally.”
“Best friends? But ...” Harry stopped, unsure whether or not to go on.
“That memory you saw? Yes, I lost my temper and called her that vile name. She never forgave me. And you know it lead to other things that I'd really rather not discuss.”
“I'm sorry. I didn't meant to bring that up. I just... it seems odd to think of my aunt as a kid. Was she always so ...”
“Bitch-like? Eventually. When she learned she would never be able to go to Hogwarts. But at first she was almost tolerable.”
“She wanted to come to Hogwarts?!” Harry's head was reeling. He was learning far more than he would ever have thought possible about his aunt.
Snape opened his mouth but at that moment a small piece of meat appeared on a clean plate near Harry. To Severus, who enjoyed his meat practically raw, it looked perfect. Unconvinced, Harry prodded the food with a fork.
“Erm, is it safe to eat?”
Snape shook his head in frustration. “It's perfectly safe. Here...” he grabbed a set of cutlery and cut off a piece. Popping it into his mouth he chewed, his eyes closed. “Wonderful,” he said, licking the remaining juices off his lips.
Harry was staring at him, eyes black with a green rim. Embarrassed, he cut a piece and gingerly stuck it into his mouth. It was heavenly: juicy and chewy but with just the right amount of give to realise its flavour without too much effort. “Oh that's … that's ...” Stopping, he realised he was hard. Hard from eating a nice piece of steak! He flushed.
“Is the wolf appeased?” Snape asked, hiding a grin behind a glass of pumpkin juice.
There was no answer as Harry devoured the remainder of the meat and had to forceably stop himself from licking the plate clean. “Good,” he managed when he'd swallowed the last mouthful.
Amused at Harry's reaction, Severus continued crunching through his salad and sandwiches. When he had finally finished, he piled their plates together (including the one with the rejected food on it) and looked around for pudding. Spying a cake stand at the back of the room, he got up and examined the foods.
When he returned, he had a plate piled with one of everything: eclair, doughnut, flapjack, chocolate cake, cheese-cake, and even some fruit. He offered it to Harry, who made a grab for the eclair.
Severus stopped the boy from biting in. “Use your knife. If the wolf doesn't like it at least I can have the left over piece.”
Harry nodded and did as instructed. Popping the pastry, cream and chocolate into his mouth he chewed thoughtfully. “He doesn't seem to mind,” he offered at last and carried on eating the treat.
Severus resigned himself to eating the fruit as the doughnut, flapjack and chocolate were all eaten very quickly. When he spotted the boy eyeing the cheese-cake as well, he waved at the plate. “Enjoy,” he said wearily. Somehow, he hadn't truly appreciated how much youngsters ate. When he had been eating in the Great Hall, he had always focused on not dribbling food down himself, rather than paying attention to the ways the mountains of food rapidly vanished, and the entire time Harry had been sharing his rooms, the elves had sent in platters of food. Snape had never really looked at how much of the food remained when it went back to the kitchen. Judging by the quantity that was being eaten now, he guessed that most of the time the flatware had been returned empty.
At last all of the sweets had been consumed. Harry rubbed his stomach. “That feels better. I was starving after last night.”
Blushing, Severus replied, “Well, you did use a lot of energy.”
Suddenly understanding what was being referred to, Harry flushed. “I – I didn't mean … Are you sure I didn't hurt you?!”
“Let's go back to the rooms. I'll show you the memory if you like.”
***
Standing over the pensieve, achingly hard, Harry was still unsure whether or not he accepted Severus' assurances that it hadn't been rape. Having seen it, and seen that the wolf had intended to fuck Snape regardless, made Harry feel that Severus saying he had given his permission was really a moot point. The werewolf would have had the human, whatever Severus might have wanted. Or not wanted.
Snape bottled the memory and placed it on the shelf, next to the one of Harry's first change. “See?” the older man said, “You're not like Lupin, or your father.”
“I didn't give you a lot of choice!”
“It wasn't you at all. And I could have struggled and fought. I did have my wand with me. I chose to let the wolf have sex with me.” Severus seemed about to add something, but then stopped.
“What?” Harry asked.
“I was only going to say that although we have broken a number of school rules already involving teacher-student relationships, I feel that at least I can have sex with you and not be condemned for it. As I most certainly would be if I were to bed you in your current form.”
Mouth suddenly very dry, Harry asked, “Is that – is it something you want?”
Back turned to the youngster, wand still aimed at the cabinet holding the memories, Snape admitted, “Yes.”
“We've had sex,” Harry pointed out. Even if he didn't remember it, even if he hadn't been a man when he had entered his partner. “And ...”
“And you … rutting … as a werewolf can be explained away as your wolf settling. Me, as a teacher choosing to … enter ... your body can not be so easily explained away. And certainly any justification I made would be rejected by Dumbledore.”
“Look at me!” Harry cried suddenly, already fed up of having this discussion to Snape's back.
Reluctantly the older wizard faced the younger one.
“I can't give you my first time,” Harry said softly, taking the other man's hand, “he – Lupin – took that. But I can give you my first consent. When I'm ready, I give you that. And hopefully I will take my first pleasure in the act as a man.”
Severus looked away. Those green eyes were shining and so damned intense. “You are giving me something I cannot accept, Harry. Albus trusts me to protect you until you are strong enough to deal with this thing alone. I cannot – I won't – violate his trust. As much as I want your body, I can never have what I want. The most I will ever get is the wolf making use of me.”
Shocked, Harry stared at Snape in horror. “How can you want that? How can you accept being used like that? You keep saying it's not rape, but the more you talk about it, the more convinced I am that it was. Did you get any pleasure out of it, I mean, other than when I … erm … licked you?”
Snape blushed and tried to break free of the gaze. “I – I … did,” he admitted finally, voice croaky. He wanted out of this situation, but Harry still held his hand, and those damned eyes were so insistent. “I enjoyed what took place. I'm not young enough to climax eleven times and survive it! But, I did release with you – the wolf – within me. And I did enjoy the act.”
“You enjoyed it?” The youngster didn't know whether to be relieved or horrified.
Seeing there was nothing for it, Snape began explaining a few unpleasant things. “You have been told my first experience of sex. That unfortunate incident has set the pattern for how I respond to being taken. You might not like it, but what James did has made me want to be controlled when I allow another man to penetrate me. It's what I dream about in that position. But it isn't a position I enjoy being in normally. Rather, like I do with you, I want to be the one on top. I want to take you and show you how good it can be without having to give up control. I want you to have some chance at a normal future. And because I want all that, I cannot be the one to sleep with you.”
“Why not?!”
“Your first experience was with a werewolf, and was brutal. Your second time was as a wolf controlling one of your teachers. Do you really think having your third time under a teacher – a man old enough to be your father - will give you any chance of normality? What will all your friends say? How will you ever explain wanting to sleep with me? And when you grow up and leave school, I don't want you to regret this. I won't sleep with you. I can bear never having you if I never live to see you regret me.”
Tears trickled down Harry's cheeks. “You think I would regret you? You think this is some phase brought on by the wolf? I don't know how to convince you that it isn't.”
“You can't,” Severus whispered. Then, still quietly he said, “I'll speak to Albus about having you moved somewhere else tomorrow.”
There was silence. Snape hated that he was making this fragile young man feel rejected, but he wasn't strong, he wasn't handsome, he wasn't anything good. He was bitter and twisted and would become a mistake that Harry regretted his entire life if they continued to share rooms. Snape thought he could just live with being hated by Harry, he couldn't live with the other man rejecting him – as he inevitably would - despising him and feeling ashamed of their past actions.
“You don't want me?! You touched me – down there – and made me come!”
“I regret that action. And, I can't be near you and face this temptation all the time. I'm not strong enough, Harry. Whatever you may have thought of me in the past is probably closer to who I truly am than whatever nonsense you think you feel now. When you were younger, you hated me and thought me unfair, and with good cause. That is the man I am.”
Unable to begin to explain all the ways Snape was wrong, Harry only stared in shocked disbelief. The man who had cared for him so compassionately, who had been the only one who had understood how loud the world was, who had been willing to spread his legs to appease the wolf, that man was no weakling. That man was not unfair or full of hate.
Snape turned on his heel and made for the door as the silence stretched on. With his hand on the handle, Harry at last found his voice.
“No,” he sobbed, “no, that's not who you are! Don't push me away because you're afraid. Please!”
Severus' back stiffened but he kept walking, leaving Harry to sob brokenly as he contemplated his future without this man to help him.
- 7
- 8
- 9
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Changes