Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

ONE LIFE TO LIVE	By : Mistress Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 9831 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. Nor do I make any money off of writing in here.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
Previous chapter was different. Most of us are used to hate Bella for what she did to Hermione in the books and killing other characters that we loved, but that also got me thinking that someone who can hate that fully, would probably be able to love just as much. That absolutely doesn’t mean that I’m planning to make her nice in this story, but to get to Bellatrix Lestrange that we all love to hate, she will need to show her other side, the one she used to have long time ago. Of course no other teenage girl would go as far she did, but hey that’s Bella for you… This chapter is a bit emotional, but hopefully it will still be to your liking. Lucius is being his good/bad self and Severus is finally at the point where he is ready to embrace his dark side. Black Rose: Where are you, girl? Still reading the story? Let me know what you think.
                                                                       CHAPTER EIGHT
                                                                               LUCIUS
I close my eyes and try to relax, but I can’t. Not a day goes by without me constantly thinking about what happened a year ago. I can’t believe it’s been so long since that dreadful night. A whole year and we are nowhere near of finding James and taking our revenge on him for what he did. He left school right after that night and we haven’t been able to find him ever since. One would think that the name of Malfoy would provide some aid in this, but it doesn’t. None of the people who worked for my father, want to do anything with me. In their eyes, I am still a child who doesn’t poses any real power and therefore cannot be trusted.
The thought of it gets me mad and I take a deep breath and try to let go of my anger. It doesn’t work. Nothing works lately. If anything, it gets me even angrier. A soft popping sound gets my attention and I see one of my house elves.
- “My Lord, master Severus wats to see you.”
- “Thank you. Tell him, I’ll be with him soon.”
- “Yes, my Lord.”
Creature bows and disappears and I lower my head down – “You can stop now, Serena. We’re done for today.”
She looks at me with her big brown eyes – “Are you sure? Just give me some more time and I can make it work, I promise.”
- “No, it’s not you. Just a lot on my mind, that’s all” I say, picking up her bra and blouse and handing them to her. She doesn’t look happy, but I don’t care. “Go now. I’ll let you know the next time I want to see you.”
- “And what about me? Do you even care about what I want?”
I look at her without answering, trying to let go of my anger. After all, it’s not her fault. She’s a woman, all of them get emotional. I stroke her cheek with my fingers – “I have things to do. I’ll call you soon.”
- “Like trying to get your wife to finally sleep with you? Think she’ll be better than me?”
That’s a low blow, it makes my anger boil over. I grab a fist full of her hair and drag her head closer to my face - "You… will… never… be… anything… like… my… wife. You are here for one thing only. Don’t ever think, that sucking my dick gives you any right to request something from me. If I ever hear another word about my wife, you will pay for it dearly. Do I make myself clear?” Fear in her eyes, lets me know that my message reached the target.
- “Yes, forgive me.”
- “That’s better. Now get your shit and go.”
The next thing I know, the door of my study opens and Severus walks in. He looks at her half naked form and closes the door without saying a single word. Another few seconds and the girl is gone. I zip up my pants and look at him. – “An elf said that you wanted to talk to me.”
- “Who was this woman?”
- “I that what you wanted to talk to me about?”
- “Lucius, don’t play with me.”
- “She’s no one. Just something to take my mind of things.”
- “And what about Narcissa?”
- “What about her?”
- “Lucius.”
- “She doesn’t… want me.”
- “She’s just…”
- “I know what she’s just, Severus. Trust me, I know. I have tried to talk to her, hold her, be there for her, but it just doesn’t work. Nothing works. She shrugs every time I touch her, even holding hands makes her nervous. And I understand. I do. Not a day goes by without me reminding myself of what happened. Without constantly feeling that guilt. Not a single day, Severus. So I try to make myself forget about it for a short while and that what Serena is here for.”
- “Lucius… I”
- “Don’t Severus. I don’t need your judgement, or your pity.”
- “I’m not gonna judge you. I just think that you shouldn’t give up on Narcissa. I know that deep inside she loves you. She just needs something that will help her focus on other things.”
I shake my head and take another deep breath – “I know. I’m not giving up, I’m just… I don’t know what else to do. Sometimes I think she will never forgive me.” I take another look at my brother, I know that talking about Narcissa is painful for him. “Can we maybe change the subject now?”
- “Yes. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”
- “And that is?”
- “I…I was thinking that it’s probably time for me to look for another place to live.”
- “Severus, you don’t have to.”
- “Yes I do. There’s something that’s been going on, that I meant to talk to you about.”
I see his struggle and understand right away what that something is. I haven’t told him, but I saw him and Bella several times. I haven’t said anything because I didn’t think that it would be a subject he’d want to discuss.
I shrug my shoulders and look down – “I know.”
- “What?”
- “I know what you want to talk to me about.”
- “You do?” He looks at me quizzically. “How?”
- “I… saw you with… Bella. Several times. And I know that she’s been using a polyjuice potion, and it’s… it’s ok, Severus.”
He looks at me with guilt – “I’m sorry. I… don’t know what to tell you about it, except how sorry I am for doing this. It was never my intention to go behind your back with it. I would never…”
- “Severus, stop. I don’t need your explanations. You have your methods of taking your mind off of things and I have mine. I haven’t exactly told you about Serena too, have I? I won’t say that I wasn’t surprised when I first learned about it, but then again, who am I to judge? Just make sure that Cissy will still have a friend in you when she needs one and I will try to provide the same… and more, from my side whenever she’ll feel that she’s ready for it. Until then, let things be as they are and by all means, let’s just stop talking about it, because it only makes us both uncomfortable.
He nods in understanding and I feel relieved. – “There’s something else that we need to talk about.” I motion him to sit down and pour some whiskey into two glasses and give one to Severus. “It’s been a year.”
- “I know.”
- “Were you able to get anything from Minerva or Albus?”
- “No. Minerva doesn’t know where he is and Albus, even if he knows, he won’t tell me.”
- I have tried to use my father’s connections to find out, but I wasn’t able to get anything out of anyone. They don’t trust me and therefore will not work with me, or for me. At this point, I doubt that we have a lot of choices in front of us. Except for… you know.”
- “Lucius, it’s dangerous. No one knows what is going on in there. No one knows what your father did for HIM and what HE will make us do.”
- “I know… but I can’t stop thinking about it. So much time have passed and we are nowhere closer on finding that piece of shit, I am nowhere closer on forgiving myself and Narcissa… is nowhere closer on letting go of her memories of that night. On top of that, I’ve been having these dreams, you know. Where I keep seeing myself on my knees with that scum laughing in my face and when I wake up, I can’t shake them off.”
I look at him taking a sip of the golden liquid in his glass and see that the feelings inside of him are the exact mirror image of my own. “To find James, we need resources. To have resources, we need power. To have power, we need to go to HIM.”
- “What makes you think that I would even be accepted? As long as I know, HIS circle consists of purebloods only.”
- “My father wouldn’t introduce you to HIM if he didn’t believe you’d be accepted. I think HE would care more about your abilities than your blood status. Speaking of… as difficult as it was, I was actually able to find out something from the minister. I know that you don’t care about stuff like that, but I just thought it won’t do any harm to find out. I mean, maybe… if you change your mind…”
- “Lucius, out with it. What did you find out?”
- “Well, it’s about your family.”
- “What about them?”
- “You know how you told me that Albus handled everything that night when…”
- “Yes, so?”
- “Yeah, well it looks like he might have done more than just that.”
- “What do you mean?”
- “He made your mother sign the paper that deprives you of any right for inheritance.”
- “So, technically you’re saying that I’ve been…”
- “Disowned.”
The expression on his face changes for a short while and his eyes get even darker, but it only lasts a few moments, until he’s back to his normal uncaring self.
- “It’s irrelevant. I never wanted anything from them anyway and I could care less about my blood status.”
It’s obviously not a topic he likes to discuss, so I try to thread carefully. – “I know you don’t, but…”
- “But what?”
- “Doesn’t it seem strange that Albus would do that? I mean, a man as resourceful as he, should have been able to handle things differently, don’t you think?”
- “He did what he thought was best. Without him I could have been in a world of trouble. I should be thanking him and not questioning his motives.”
- “Why do you trust him so much?”
- “What is the point of this, Lucius? What exactly are you trying to say? Suddenly having mixed feelings about associating with a half blood?”
- “Don’t be daft, Severus. You know I don’t. But yes, if you ask me, I do wish you’d carry your family name these days. That would be able to open the doors that mine can’t, but unfortunately our favorite Headmaster denied you that possibility and you don’t even give a flying rat’s tale as to ask why” I yell out.
I didn’t mean to, but his stubbornness always makes me angry. I don’t control my temper well these days, but so does he. The next thing I see is a glass of whiskey flying into my fireplace. He makes a few angry steps to the door, but stops. He knows that my words make sense, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. I keep starring at him, until he comes back and sits by my side.
- “I didn’t mean to upset you, Severus” I say, handing him another glass.
- “I know you didn’t. Trust me when I say that to find that scumbag is all I can think about lately. I just… I don’t want to make another mistake. It seems that I’ve made enough of them lately.”
We sit in silence for some time, thinking about the same thing until I start talking again.
- “I can’t do it without you, brother. I need to have you there by me. It used to be three of us, but I fucked it up with Narcissa so bad, that I don’t know if it ever will be again. I need to know that I still have you.”
- “You do. I’ll be there for you, just as you’ve always been there for me. I want this scum dead and if that is what it takes, then be it. Arrange the meeting and let me know.”
The next moment, we hear a soft knock at the door. I come to open it and see my wife. – “Is everything ok, darling?”
- “Yes, I just haven’t seen you for a whole day. Hi Severus.”
We both bow our heads and kiss her hands. – “We’ve been here, talking. I’m glad that you decided to join us.” She nods and suddenly I remember Severus’ words about giving her something to do that would take her mind off of things. “I was actually ahm… kinda hoping for your help.”
She smiles, something that I haven’t seen for the longest time.
- “And that would be?”
- “Well, it’s Severus’ birthday soon and I was trying to convince him to have a party. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to… you know… forget about things for a while. That is if you don’t mind, of course.”
Surprisingly, her eyes light up and she smiles at me again, before turning to Severus. – “I think it’s a wonderful idea. We never celebrate your birthday, maybe it’s time to start.”
I see the battle going inside of him. If looks could kill, then I’d be already dead from the one he sends my way, but to refuse her simple request is next to impossible.
- “You know I don’t really like to celebrate it, Cissy. I don’t know why Lucius would even bring it up.”
- “Nonsense. I think we could all use a party. We won’t make it too big, just some close friends, that’s all. Come on, Severus. Maybe just this once. She bets her eyelashes and lets out a little giggle, sounding like Cissy we both used to know.
Severus looks at her and sighs in defeat. – “Well, maybe a small one.”
She claps her hands. - “I’ll go tell Bella and we’ll arrange everything.”
With a mentioning of her sister, Severus’ cheeks blush a bit. – “Cissy. I…”
- “Don’t even say anything, I noticed how you’ve been looking at her lately and I think you should tell her how you feel. Who knows, maybe she might feel something for you too. You’ll never know if you don’t try.”
She turns to me and gives me her hand – “Thanks for bringing it up. It’s a good idea.”
- “And thank you for your help, darling” I say, placing a light kiss on her knuckles. She smiles again to both of us and leaves the room.
Few days after, I receive an owl with place and time of the meeting. Unfortunately, it falls on Severus’ birthday, so we both tell Cissy that we’ll see her later in the evening and promise not to be late.
We both apparate to the Knockturn Alley where we are met by a few people in black robes that are there to take us to HIM. They put our blindfolds on and we are off.
The place looks dark and not as big, as my own home, but something tells me that there’s more to it than meets the eye. We are escorted to a large room with tables covered with food and drinks. We walk to the table in the middle, where HE sits surrounded only by a few chosen ones and bow, to show HIM our respect. Surprisingly, I am feeling quite calm, but something inside of me stirs and I throw a quick look at Severus, understanding that it’s his emotions I feel. I guess the longer we share one life, the more of each other’s emotions we start feeling. Before I can do something that would calm him down a bit, his Lordship starts talking to me.
- “Welcome, Lord Malfoy. I am glad that you and your friend finally decided to join us. I was hoping that you would make that decision earlier. What took you so long? As long as I remember, it’s been a year since the unfortunate demise of your father, may he rest in peace.”
- “Please accept my deepest apologies, My Lord. There was one thing that I’ve been trying to do this whole time that kept me from coming to you earlier.”
- “Is that so?”
- “Yes, My Lord.”
- “And what would that thing be?”
- “I’m sorry My Lord, but I would not want to discuss my personal affairs in front of everyone.”
He smiles at me and nods his head in agreement. – “Very well. Your father was an ardent supporter of mine, so I will grant you permission to speak with me in private. With a gesture of his hand, everyone start clearing the room.
- “Please, sit down. Both of you” he says, gesturing to join him at the table and we do as he says. He hands us the glasses with drinks and we both accept them and take a little sip.
“Now that we are alone… please… tell me what was it, that was keeping you from coming to me” he says and leans on the back of his massive throne looking chair.
I take a deep breath and throw a quick look at Severus. He looks calm.
- “I… I was trying to find someone, My Lord.”
- “And how did that work out for you?”
- “It didn’t, My Lord”
- “Is this someone important to you?”
- “Very important, My Lord.”
- “And what did that someone do, to become of such importance to you?”
- “He… he was responsible for the death of the woman I loved.”
- “Ah, I see. And you thought that you could find him on your own, using the resources of your father.”
I lower my head – “Yes, My Lord.”
- “I understand. So now, when your attempt to find that certain someone failed, you decided to ask for my help.”
- “My Lord…”
He raises his hand, gesturing me to keep quiet. – “No, no, don’t. I understand. You need help and I am able to provide it, but I would like to know what I would be getting in return from you.”
- “Anything you want, My Lord.”
- “Careful, Lord Malfoy, or I might just take your word for it.”
- “I don’t need to be careful, My Lord. I am here to prove it to you.”
- “Are you now?”
- “Yes. What would you like me to do, My Lord?”
- “Exactly what you tell me. I’d like you to prove that you are worthy to join me as one of my followers.” He turns his head to Severus. “And what of you? You’ve been quiet for this whole time.”
- “I am here to join my brother.”
- “You too would like to find that someone he was telling me about?”
- “Yes, My Lord. I would like to find him just as much.”
- “So I assume, he managed to do something to you too?”
- “You are correct, My Lord.”
He mumbles something under his breath and gives Severus a long stare. After he’s done, Severus looks like he’s about to have a migraine. That affects me too and I feel a bit lightheaded.
– “You are the quiet one, but your thoughts speak louder than your words” he says musingly.
- “My Lord, what would you like us to do?” I ask, trying not to show a weird feeling inside of me.
- “Patience, Lucius. All in given time. For now, I would only like to introduce you to someone. Please, wait for me for a minute” he says and exits the room, leaving us on our own for a few minutes.
We use this time to exchange a few words.
- “What was it, Severus?”
- “I don’t know. It was weird. Like I could feel him in my head, going through my memories, until he found what he was looking for.”
- “And that was?”
- “He knows, Lucius. He knows everything that happened that night.”
Before I can answer, his Lordship joins us. He takes his seat by the table like he is about to enjoy some kind of show. With a flick of his hand, the door opens and two hooded figures walk in. They draw their wands at us and we are left with no other choice, but to do the same.
- “Are we to be tested at our dueling skills, My Lord?” I ask, taking a few steps towards Severus and pressing my back to his.
- “Perhaps”
He waives his hand and the man in front of me removes his hood. The words get stuck in my throat when I bring my head up to look in the cold eyes of my father.
- “Hello, son. Did you really think it will be that easy to get rid of me?”
The pounding in my chest is so strong, that it seems like my heart is about to break out of it. – “It’s some kind of trick. You can’t be here. You are dead.”
- “Oh, but I am not. Far from it. I knew that at some point you will come to his Lordship to ask for help and I was waiting for that moment with anticipation. I knew you’d never be able to achieve anything on your own. That’s what you brought Severus here for, isn’t it? Maybe I should have done better job in killing him. Don’t worry, I am about to correct that mistake when I’m done with you.”
- “You will not harm him again” I yell out and block the first curse that he throws at me. His next curse comes twice as fast and so are the other ones he keeps throwing and all I find myself able to do is to block them, without a possibility to throw a single one back. Everything is going so quick, that I am not able to turn my head and see what’s going on with Severus, but by the feelings inside of me, I can sense that he is battling his own demons. Finally, I hear his scream, as the magic stream from his wand hits the man he is battling, sending him flying to the other side of the room.
That takes my father’s attention and he turns his head for a split second, but that is enough for me. I yell “Expeliarmus” and watch his body flying to one side of the room, while his wand flies to another. I “Accio” his wand before he can and take a few steps towards him. He looks at me with surprise and something else that I can only describe as fear.
- “Well done, Lucius. You can lower your wand now.”
I take another few steps and the nervousness in his voice becomes apparent. “Son, I said you can lower it now.”
- “I am not your son. Not anymore. Not after what you did.”
- “Of course you are. What I did… What I always did, was only meant to encourage you. To make you stronger.”
- “You have killed an innocent girl, who never did anything to you” I whisper.
- “She was a threat, Lucius. You were marrying another.”
- “You raped Narcissa and with that probably scared her for life. It’s been a year and she still can’t stand even the thought of being touched” I growl, taking another few steps to him.
- “You were about to hand her to Severus. What would happen if he’d gotten her pregnant? I couldn’t let that happen.”
- “But you could let her be without raping her.”
- “I was trying to teach you a lesson.”
- “A lesson? You took my wand and left me watching my best friend and the woman I loved die in front of my eyes.”
- “And yet he is here, isn’t he? You figured out how to save his life.”
- “No thanks to you.”
- “But you’ve learned your lesson and look at you now, you are becoming exactly who I always wanted you to be. You might not see it yet, but we are not that different, son. Come on, give me my wand and lower yours.”
With his words, I feel something snap inside of me. My anger takes over my whole being, it overpowers all other emotions in me, until there’s nothing else left. I look at his wand in my hand and watch as it turns into a knife. I grab the collar of his robes with one hand and bring the knife to his throat with the other. Suddenly, time around me stops. Nothing exists except for anger and hate I feel towards this man.
For a quick moment, he closes his eyes and when he opens them, all I can see there is fear. – “Please… don’t do it” he begs, but at this point I am too far gone.
- “I will never be like you” I whisper and cut is throat. Blood splashes on me and covers my hands and face. As I throw his lifeless body on the floor, I notice as it starts changing into someone else. Dead man in front of me is no longer my father. Panic rises inside of me. I throw a quick look at Severus and see him standing there in front of the man he just killed, his hands are also covered in blood.
Before I can say something, excruciating pain goes through my body. It makes me drop the knife and brings me to my knees. The skin on my inner left forearm starts burning and the same sign that I saw on my father’s arm, appears on mine. My pain is doubled, as I hear my brother’s scream and understand that the same thing must be happening to him. I close my eyes. Gods help me. What have I just put both of us into?
Eventually, the pain subsides and I am able to open my eyes again. Next thing I hear is a clapping sound of HIS hands.
- “Well done, Lucius. That was quite a show you both put out there. I have to say, I enjoyed it. Both of you have passion and abilities that will be of use to me. You still have a lot to learn, but I was never the one to not notice the potential when it’s clearly there.”
I take another look at the man that I just killed – “This man, My Lord. He is not who I thought he was.”
- “Of course not. The man who you thought he was, has been dead for quite a while.”
- “Why, then?”
- “Why make you kill him? You said that you wanted to join me and my followers. Your friend there, said that he wanted that too, so I gave you both a chance to prove that you are worthy.”
My insides clench from a calm tone of HIS voice. Human life has no value in this place and my hate just made me take one without thinking of consequences. As if hearing my thoughts loud and clear, HE smiles at me. – “Nothing comes without a price, Lucius. And certainly, my help won’t come without one ether. You didn’t think that you’d be able to get it without making your hands dirty, did you?”
I lower my head as the realization of my sin dawns on me. I wanted it. My rage. My anger. My hate. My fault. Everything. All of it. I take a look at my hands that are still covered in blood. Blood of an innocent person. His begging words still ring in my ears. I feel nauseous and disgusted with myself.
As if through a fog, I hear HIS voice again.
- “You both are free to go now. I will call upon you the next time I need to see you.”
I bow without thinking and make my way out of this place with my brother following behind. Once outside, I am finally able to look him in the eyes. – “Will you ever be able to forgive me, Severus?”
The words that come out of his mouth surprise me – “I have nothing to forgive you for. I wanted it as much as you did and we each did what we had to.”
- “But those people… they were not who we thought they were.”
- “No matter. I had a chance to kill someone today who I hated almost as much as I hate James and given an opportunity, I’d kill him a hundred times over.”
- “Was it your… father?”
- “Yes. It was him that tortured me when I first turned into my Animagus form and if it wouldn’t be for Minerva, I’d be dead.”
- “Your own father did this to you?”
- “Yes. He was drunk and said that he always knew that there was something dark in me and he wanted to get rid of it. I didn’t understand it back then. Hurt and pain was all I felt, but now I understand. Comes out the fucker was right, I did have something dark in me and today, when I was finally able to let it out… it felt good.”
I don’t have an answer for this. I keep standing there with my eyes wide open, trying to recognize the man standing in front of me. There’s something in his eyes that almost doesn’t seem human. The guilt of turning him into something like this hurts more than I can possibly say. Will I be able to fix it later on? I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. But one thing is for certain, I’d rather take both of our lives, than watch him turn into something he is not.
He gives me a smile that seems to be way too cheerful for the situation we just found ourselves in.
- “Let’s go, Lucius. We have a party to attend to, remember?”
I nod and we apparate back to the manor.
- 7
- 8
- 9
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

ONE LIFE TO LIVE