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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling & her associates own the Harry Potter universe and I make no money from my stories.

Chapter List
- 80
- 81
- 82
Direct quotes in bold from Chapter 9 of HBP are © J.K. Rowling

Chapter 81: The Tangled Web

Yes, Snape could honestly say this post was cursed, but possibly not in the way he had been led to believe.

Snape had imposed what he thought was a proper degree of severity on his new class room. Even if the students didn't realise how much they would need to gain and hone all defensive skills now the Dark Lord was revealed and the disappearances had recommenced in earnest, Snape knew and he would try to equip their armoury. It was vital that they understood the types of enemy they would face, enemies who would have no compunction about maiming or killing a child, or using Dark creatures or even Inferi to do it for them. He illustrated this with new pictures adorning the walls, many of them showing people who appeared to be in pain, sporting grisly injuries or strangely contorted body parts.

His first lesson of the new academic year had been second year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. In fairness, they had had no proper grounding whatsoever, having had Umbridge as their Defence professor last year. Every question he posed to them was either met by a barrage of text book answers from the appalling little know-it-alls of Ravenclaw or the helpless terror of Hufflepuffs. Teaching defensive theory was a dull as ditch-water, but this was the grounding that he needed to teach them. He hoped that they could learn basic defensive spells come next term. These were times where even twelve year olds needed to be able to defend themselves in duelling, and he would do a damn sight better job of it than Gilderoy Lockhart!

After lunch, his N.E.W.T. class. Potter's class. He sighed heavily as he heard them jabbering outside. Snape stepped into the corridor and silence fell over the queue immediately.

'Inside,' he said.

Nobody spoke as they settled down, looking around at the shadowy, gruesome pictures. Snape saw Granger getting out her text book. He suppressed a sneer that she could second-guess what he would do in this class. Book learning, for once, would not assist her.

'I have not asked you to take out your books,' said Snape, closing the door and moving to face the class from behind his desk. 'I wish to speak to you and I want your fullest attention.'

His black eyes roved over their upturned faces, lingering for a fraction of a second longer on Potter's than anyone else's, wondering if this year, the child would listen to him; this year when he needed to most.

'You have had five teachers in subject to far, I believe. Naturally, these teachers will all have had their own methods and priorities. Given this confusion I am surprised so many of you scraped an O.W.L. in this subject. I shall be even more surprised if all of you manage to keep up with the N.E.W.T. work, which will be much more advanced.'

Snape set off around the edge of the room, speaking now in a lower voice to force the class to crane their necks to keep him in view and to listen.

'The Dark Arts,' said Snape, 'are many, varied, ever-changing and eternal. Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head even fiercer and cleverer than before. You are fighting that which is unfixed, mutating, indestructible.'

He wondered if he could ever make children with the pedestrian intelligence of most in this class understand just how formidable the Dark Arts were, how they could enthral and ensnare with their inherent magnetism and power until one was their slave, locked in a cycle of ever-increasing Darkness. It took courage and will not to follow the Dark and easy path. No-one knew this better than he.

'Your defences,' said Snape, a little louder, 'must therefore be as flexible and inventive as the Arts you seek to undo. These pictures,' he indicated a few of them as he swept past, 'give a fair representation of what happens to those who suffer, for instance, the Cruciatus Curse' (he waved a handed towards a witch who was clearly shrieking in agony) 'feel the Dementor's Kiss' (a wizard lying huddled and blank-eyed slumped against a wall) 'or provoke the aggression of the Inferius' (a bloody mass upon the ground).

'Has an Inferius been seen, then?' squeaked Parvati Patil. 'Is it definite, is he using them?'

'The Dark Lord has used Inferi in the past,' said Snape, as he returned to the front of the class room, 'which means you would be well-advised to assume he might use them again. Now, you are, I believe, complete novices in the use of non-verbal spells? What is the advantage of a non-verbal spell?'

Snape took his time looking around at everybody else, wishing just once the whole class were not so lazy as to rely on Granger to answer. He was sure someone else must have read ahead. Again, he had no choice. 'Very well – Miss Granger?'

'Your adversary has no warning about what kind of magic you're about to perform,' said Granger, 'which gives you a split-second advantage.'

'An answer copied almost word for word from The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6,' said Snape dismissively ignoring Malfoy sniggering over in the corner, 'but correct in essentials. Yes, those who progress to using magic without shouting incantations gain an element of surprise in their spell-casting, Not all wizards can do this, of course; it is a question of concentration and mind power which some,' his gaze lingered maliciously upon Potter once more, 'lack.'

Snape knew Potter would understand he was referring to their disastrous Occlumency lessons of the previous year. The arrogant fool still hadn't learnt any humility even though his arrogance had cost his godfather his life! Snape mentally sneered at the boy who refused to drop his gaze but glowered at Snape until Snape bored of him and looked away.

'You will now divide,' Snape went on, 'into pairs. One partner will attempt to jinx the other without speaking. The other will attempt to repel the jinx in equal silence. Carry on.'

This was something Snape was most anxious for his classes to learn. Certainly, any duelling with Death Eaters Potter was determined to engage in this year would benefit from this, Snape thought snidely. He watched as a reasonable amount of cheating ensued; many people were merely whispering the incantation instead of saying it aloud. Snape swept between them as they practised, lingering to watch Potter and Weasley struggling with the task.

Snape could not help but draw the comparison to the easy magic of the house-elf. Only last week when he had awoken early, he had watched from the bedroom door as Tippy had snapped her fingers and wordlessly Summoned every single one of Snape's buttons to herself and then repaired Snape's robe. As nice as it would be to indulge in that memory, all it demonstrated to him at this time was that house-elf magic seemed vastly superior at this moment to the spectacle he was forced to witness.

Weasley was purple in the face, his lips tightly compressed. Potter had his wand raised, waiting on tenterhooks to repel a jinx that seemed unlikely ever to come.

'Pathetic, Weasley,' said Snape, after a while. 'Here - let me show you -'

He turned his wand on Potter, to which he yelled, 'Protego!'

Well, thought Snape, there's no faulting his Shield Charm, which was so strong that Snape was knocked off-balance and hit a desk. Snape was acutely aware that the whole class had looked round and now watched as he righted himself, scowling.

'Do you remember me telling you we are practising non-verbal spells, Potter?' he snarled, reigning in his own temper.

'Yes,' said Potter stiffly.

'Yes, sir,' Snape corrected.

'There's no need to call me "sir", Professor.'

The impertinent little brat! Snape thought as he fought the instinct to hex the boy with a damn sight worse than the tripping jinx he'd been planning. Snape heard several people gasp and knew the boy's idiot friends would be grinning inanely behind him.

Just like his father!

'Detention, Saturday night, my office,' said Snape. 'I do not take cheek from anyone, Potter ... not even the Chosen One.'

With that, he turned away from Potter, and went to assist Malfoy and Zabini instead. Even there, only Zabini seemed keen to have any type of assistance and Malfoy avoided his attempts to engage him.

oooOOOooo

"He's just like his father!" Snape spat as he paced before Dumbledore's desk, still smarting with offence. "Rude! Arrogant! And his nasty little friends laughing behind my back ..."

"Severus," Dumbledore interjected softly. "He is a child. And students laugh behind teachers' backs. They always have."

Snape's brow furrowed as his lip curled. "No, I shouldn't have expected you to be concerned about Potter's rudeness to me. I should like to see Malfoy behave like that to Minerva and not receive detention and your disapprobation into the bargain," Snape hissed and sat down suddenly in front of Dumbledore.

"You know, Albus, how important it is for the boy to hone his duelling skills for what is to come," said Snape, sighing with resignation. "It is important for him to trust what I have to teach him."

"No doubt, the incursions you made into his mind have made him distrust you, Severus," said Dumbledore mildly.

"Which I did on your orders, Albus!" snarled Snape, pointing accusingly at Dumbledore.

"I know, I know, Severus," said Dumbledore, with a pacifying gesture. "I will be seeing Harry for special lessons. I will try to speak to him of this when I see him on Saturday."

"I have given him detention for Saturday," said Snape.

"Not this Satuday, Severus," advised Dumbledore with a small smile, as Snape's eyes narrowed.

"So you will undermine my authority with the boy even further!" Snape bit out through clenched teeth.

"I am the headmaster, Severus," Dumbledore said with amused finality. "These lessons are important."

"What special lessons?" asked Snape, apprehensive that even more secrets were to be kept from him.

"That is not for you to know at this stage. Suffice it to say, you have your important tasks with Voldemort, as Harry will have his. We each have our part to play."

Snape's jaw set with annoyance. Why did Dumbledore have to envelop everything in secrecy and platitudes?

"Now, Severus, I'm sure you have much to do."

Angry at the flippant dismissal, Snape swept out.

oooOOOooo

It was like having Sirius Black back to life, but without the understanding they had reached before he had died. The worst of it was that Lupin was not there to take the curse off it, but in Manchester with the urban wolves. Snape found he could live with a fair amount of disdain if he had Lupin to look at surreptitiously, and then Lupin to himself after the meeting. As it was, the meeting had been long and unpleasant.

As the last matter discussed, Kingsley informed the meeting of the rescue of the eight children, three magical and five Muggle, and their re-location abroad, following which, the meeting broke up.

As Snape moved to leave the kitchen, he saw Tonks shoot him a barely disguised look of disgust.

"I mean what does he do? He's supposed to get us this information. If it hadn't been for those Muggles reporting it, those children would be lost," Tonks said, in that stage whisper of hers to Kingsley who at least had the good grace to look embarrassed. "When I think of how Remus endangers himself constantly, while he slithers about claiming to be spying for us ..."

Snape wasn't going to listen to any more of Tonks's ignorant insults. How dearly he would liked to have said that he took the Cruciatus curse because those children had been freed by his machinations. Just as he made the door, he heard Tomks sigh:

"I wish there was a way I could speak to him. I worry about him so much when he's away, y'know."

"There, there, dear," consoled Molly. "I know."

Snape felt his stomach churn as he stalked the hall to the library. As he grabbed some Floo powder, he folded his long fingers around the mirror he always carried with him now and closed his eyes briefly.

Snape had this, not her. He sighed heavily as he called the destination of the Headmaster's office. He couldn't wait to speak to Lupin later that night. He wouldn't mention what he'd heard tonight. He'd promised himself he wouldn't show his jealousy to Lupin, but at least, he would see him.

oooOOOooo

The following weeks had been turgid.

He had only managed to speak to Lupin another three times. Each of those times had been hurried and brief, but at least he knew Lupin was safe. Lupin was sure he was making headway with a few of the werewolves, so Snape arranged for delivery of Lupin's Wolfsbane through the owl service of an Apothecarial connection in Manchester, although the Wolfsbane was his own brew.

Classes had been dull, detentions duller. Snape swore he could see the resentment shimmering from Potter's rangy frame. It was of no matter to him. He dared say the boy would never learn respect for him, especially when other teachers thought Snape's detentions were flies in the ointment of special lessons or clubs to single out favourite students (Snape sneered) but that didn't mean that Snape couldn't challenge it.

On top of that, Malfoy was avoiding him. When Snape called the weekly House meetings, Malfoy would avoid Snape's eyes and scuttle away early, so unlike his behaviour of previous years, where Malfoy had almost verged on adulation of Snape. No matter, no matter. Snape would leave it for now, but not for much longer. He would have to seek Malfoy out if he continued to avoid him.

He had not been called to the Dark Lord, but he had attended upon him whenever he knew he would have enough free time so he could find out the latest plans and schemes. Of course, the Dark Lord believed fully that it was Snape's loyal desire to be by his master's side. Snape did nothing to disabuse the Dark Lord of this notion. He fawned and bowed as much as any other.

At least, Dumbledore didn't expect this type of knee-scraping. No, his torture of Snape was far more subtle. Since that evening of the first day of lessons, Dumbledore seemed to be away a great deal. He did not tell Snape where he was going or why. All Snape knew was that he seemed to get no opportunity to speak to Dumbledore about Lupin. It was infuriating.

The next time he saw Dumbledore was at the next Order meeting.

"Where do you keep going without telling anyone?" asked Snape as they arrived in the library.

"It is the purpose of my not telling anyone, Severus, that they should not know," Dumbledore responded maddeningly.

"Well, you need to tell me when you go at least, if not why!" said Snape petulantly. "It is time to re-cast and take your elixir," he hissed as they approached the kitchen.

"You are right, Severus. Thank you for reminding me," Dumbledore smiled beatifically, and they entered the kitchen to be greeted by smiles and warm greetings for Dumbledore, guarded salutations or looks of mistrust for Snape.

Each reported. Kingsley and Tonks reported on disappearances that had been reported to the Ministry and efforts to track the Disappeared. Moody was involved in investigating informally, together with Hestia and Arthur. All reported that they were being followed. It was difficult to get to Order meetings but Dumbledore had enchanted most of their Floos to confuse any illegal tracking, but all were encouraged to Apparate or fly, if possible. Bill had forged good links with a few particular goblins at Gringotts who were keen to ensure a degree of resistance to the Dark Lord, his antipathy to other magical creatures being well-known to them. These few were supplying Bill with cash movements from vaults to known supporters of the Dark Lord. It was a useful source of information on the identity of new acolytes or, indeed, possible Imperius victims.

"Professor Dumbledore, do we know if Remus is all right?" Tonks asked urgently as Dumbledore drew the meeting to a close.

There was a pause before Dumbledore said, "We keep in contact through certain channels, Nymphadora. I can tell you that Remus is fine."

Snape's jaw worked as he struggled to maintain his composure, watching Tonks simper as Molly patted her hand. It didn't matter what Lupin said; Snape knew what he was seeing. The woman was in love in with Lupin, whether he encouraged her or not. Snape tore his eyes away, feeling the heat of Dumbledore's gaze on him.

Dumbledore called the meeting to an end and Molly began to fuss around the pots that had been stirring themselves during the meeting. Snape couldn't deny, the smell of the food was tantalising his taste-buds. He hadn't had any of Molly's cooking since Lupin had lived in Grimmauld Place when he would transport a bowl or plate up to Snape secretly. It was odd that, now it had stopped, he missed this minor inclusion. What did it matter? Tippy would make him anything he desired. Tippy would squeal with delight to make him anything he desired. He didn't really understand the knotted sensation he had in his stomach, and he made to leave.

"It's full moon tomorrow, Albus," he said quietly to Dumbledore. "I need to re-cast tonight."

"I will follow shortly, Severus. Please wait for me when you get back to my office."

Snape stalked away, seething at his dismissal – yet again.

"Snape!"

He turned quickly, wand at the ready, to see Tonks following him up the hall.

"I want to talk to you," she demanded.

Snape sneered at the tone of the Auror, as if she were intercepting a sneak-thief, and turned away from her as he turned into the library.

"Please!" she said, adjusting her tone.

"What is it, Miss Tonks?" Snape spat, spinning around to face her, an expression of impatient distaste on his face, which he was sure matched the distaste on her own.

"I wanted to ask you …" she wavered as she stood before him, and Snape knew – he just knew – this would be about Lupin. "A favour. I wanted to ask for a favour."

"A favour from me, Miss Tonks?" sneered Snape as he stood before the fire place, his stance unyielding. "How unpleasant for you."

"It's about tomorrow," she said. As I thought it would be, thought Snape unhappily. "Can you ... that is, will you ... come later after the full moon because ..."

"No, Miss Tonks. I will do no such thing," Snape cut in icily.

"You could at least do me the courtesy of listening to me, Snape!"

"Courtesy, Miss Tonks? When exactly, may I ask, have you shown any courtesy to me?" Snape's lip curled to see her pallid complexion flush. "Odd, how those who are so very discourteous believe it is their right to demand courtesy from those they do not respect."

"If you would just give me some time with Remus! That's all I'm asking," she blurted. "I could make him see ..."

"See what, Miss Tonks? Make him love you, perhaps? So very soon after your last beloved passed away ..."

"How did you know about David?" she gasped, her face now draining white.

"It was obvious to anyone with eyes to see. So now you want another pooch to replace him."

"How dare you! Remus is a greater man than you could ever be! Sirius was right about you ..." she sneered, her heart-shaped face, ugly with anger and hurt.

"He may well have been, Miss Tonks. If he were alive, you could compare notes with each other about what a foul man I am. Unfortunately, you were unable to duel your own aunt, and your dear cousin paid the price for your incompetence, did he not. Now. I must return ..."

"... to your dank dungeon and your loneliness, Snape. You really are a ..."

"... greasy git? How adult. How very dull of you. Your wit matches your new look, Miss Tonks." Tonks gasped and stepped back from Snape, but Snape continued. "I do not care that you are nursing a crush on our pet werewolf. I have a job to do with him, and your misguided amorous intentions are of no interest to me. When I arrive, you will leave. I trust that is understood."

"And if I don't ...?" Tonks squared up to him. Snape smiled, unpleasantly.

"I will throw you out on your backside, Nymphadora, and let neither of us pretend that it wouldn't be child's play for me to do so."

"Remus wants me there," she protested weakly.

"No, Miss Tonks. You want him to want you there."

"You're wrong. In time, you'll see ... I can care for him after the full moon. Nobody needs or wants you."

"Enough of this, Miss Tonks! I have far more important matters awaiting me."

oooOOOooo

Severus Snape was a jealous man.

He knew it. He knew it was his failing, his most desperate weakness. He had returned to the Headmaster's office, and re-cast the counter-curse and administered the elixir, but he did not stay to speak with Dumbledore. His mind raced, not with insults – he was well used to those – but with her assertions of Lupin wanting her.

He only managed to find any solace with his life now because of Lupin. His sleep was always troubled or denied to him completely because of his promise to Dumbledore. All his actions on behalf of the Dark Lord he always confessed to Lupin. Confession to Lupin always soothed his soul because he was still loved. And yet this one secret for Dumbledore – this secret that was so terrible – he could not tell. Now, to add to this, he lay awake all night, at war within his own mind, the words of Tonks whirling around in his head.

What if Lupin had told her he preferred her to be there? What if Lupin was just being kind to Snape? Pitying him, because he was so needy and unworthy? Round and around it played in his head. It was no use. He couldn't sleep. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and held his head in his hands. At least, there were no classes today.

He went to the bathroom and ran a shower, hoping it would make him feel better. As he stood under it, he ran his hands over his body, washing it. Such a pallid body. So ... thin. He looked at his legs. Lupin had said he had liked Snape's long legs, hadn't he? Tonks has long legs. She can have any type of legs Lupin wants, a sly voice said to him. He carried on washing, taking in his hip bones, his flat stomach, his visible rib-cage. Lupin wasn't skinny like Snape. Not pallid like Snape. He washed his chest and found it racked with a sob as he squeezed his eyes shut in self-loathing and let the hot water drum over his upturned face until he leant back against the tiles.

I am such an ugly man, he thought. Who would love such an ugly man? His eyes flew open. Perhaps, perhaps, Lupin wanted a change. A woman, soft with curves, not hard angular planes. Lupin had liked women. He had said so. Enjoyed sex with them. Perhaps, perhaps, Lupin couldn't deny that part of himself anymore? Perhaps, he wanted what Snape could never be. Snape scrubbed at his skin harder and harder still.

He couldn't share him. He just couldn't. Snape stopped scrubbing, realising he was breathless and his skin raw on his arms where he had scrubbed too hard.

It was the full moon tonight. He would see Lupin later. He would know.

oooOOOooo

When Snape arrived, he saw Lupin's light cloak hanging up and knew Lupin was already home. Thank Merlin! He would not have to pace the room whilst he waited. He put down the ceremonial casket, and took off his own cloak. There was no sign of Tippy. He breathed in deeply.

Snape could smell Lupin already, his musk always so much stronger when he'd been with other werewolves. He also smelt the soap Lupin must have used when he had arrived home, but nothing could mask that strong scent. Snape closed his eyes and inhaled the scent deeply. The musk aroused him immediately and he hardened painfully.

"Severus." Lupin's voice was more a growl. Snape didn't open his eyes. He sensed Lupin walk slowly around him, like a predator stalking his prey. Snape's skin prickled as the hair rose on his body, and he breathed in sharply through his slightly open mouth. He opened his eyes to see Lupin, scrubbed and naked in front of him.

As Lupin grasped Snape to himself, any doubts were obliterated as Lupin's mouth enveloped his own. Lupin's strong, large hands pulled at Snape's clothes, as Snape gasped for breath, his mind fogging over with thick, hot desire, and all questions and doubts were erased as Lupin drained him and filled him and Claimed him once more.

oooOOOooo

Snape Apparated precisely onto the front door step of Grimmauld Place before moonset, and let himself in quietly. He had long had the knack of keeping his presence from Mrs. Black. He swept up the stairs without a sound and waited outside what used to be Lupin's room. He heard the murmur of Tonks's voice as he unconsciously rubbed at the newly-healed gash on his inner arm.

"There, there, Remus. It will be over soon. Then I need to talk to you," she said softly.

He pressed his hand to the door to open it once the reversion was over, and immediately felt the quick vibration of wards sting through his hand. The bitch had set wards against him! He gritted his teeth in anger as he cast to reveal them and then bring them down, his mind raging against her.

Did she think the wards of a young woman like her, Auror or not, would keep him out? Keep him away from Lupin? He, Severus Snape, who had broken the wards of far greater sorcerers than she could ever hope to be when he was younger than she – when he served the Dark Lord!

With vicious swipes and cuts of his wand, he dismantled Tonks's wards in less time than she had taken to cast them and waited. Within a couple of minutes, he heard the whining to howling to screaming to keening. It was done.

Snape swiftly let himself through the door through the door to find Tonks's arms around Lupin and her face nuzzled his neck, even though Lupin was barely conscious! He felt his blood boil as her face whipped up towards him in shock.

"Snape!" she cried and pulled herself away from Lupin in shock, caught red-handed. "How did you ...?"

"Pull yourself together, Miss Tonks," hissed Snape, "and be on your way."

Tonks gasped loudly as her face flushed violently. "How dare you!"

Snape pulled himself ramrod straight, and his eyes glittered with anger.

"We had this discussion last month, Miss Tonks. I do not intend to go over this every month. Go now, and let me get on with my work," Snape said, as he held the door open for her.

Tonks rushed to gather all of her belongings, and this time Snape made sure she had everything with her. She said kindly good-byes to Lupin and then stormed from the room and Snape slashed at the door so it clipped her heels.

"That was unkind ... Severus," whispered Lupin, huddled in the blanket.

"She warded me out," Snape snapped, as he dropped to knees and checked Lupin for injuries.

"Perhaps she just ..."

"No, Remus, you know there is no 'just'. This house is unplottable. No-one will disturb you here," Snape said shortly, then his features softened as he finished casting. "She demanded I come later. I refused. I should have told you earlier but," Snape smiled sheepishly, "we didn't have – ah – time."

"I know. She told me when I was transformed. You were right," Lupin said gently and reached out his hands to Snape's. "Take me home, Severus."
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You Will Not Kiss Me