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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
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Chapter 82: Equal Passions

Lupin placed Snape's wand in his hand and nodded encouragingly.

"We are going to do this, Severus, every month if we have to. Every time I talk to her, if it helps. I know this is hard for you."

Snape didn't raise his wand, but refused to look up from it. He loved to share Lupin's mind like a welcome guest, not pick through it like a jealous sneak-thief. Why couldn't he just trust Lupin? Why was this simple trust so beyond him?

"Severus," Lupin said gently, and raised Snape's chin with one finger. "I am happy for you to do this."

Lupin lay back in bed, still wrapped in the covers Snape had covered him with when they had returned home hours earlier. Snape sat on the edge of the bed, one arm resting on the other side of Lupin's body.

"If I do not do this thing with Dora, if I don't have her trust, as well as yours, you will die. I am not prepared to lose you. You are everything to me." Lupin pulled Snape towards him and kissed his lips lightly. "So," he said brightly. "This is the way that you can know for sure what is happening. I don't need my privacy from you, Severus. I happily give it to you." He smiled.

Even though Lupin was pale from the previous night's transformation, Snape thought he was just the most beautiful man he had ever seen. Beautiful – and his. He managed a small smile in return, and gently held Lupin's face and cast.

Legilimens.

They joined the memory as Lupin let himself into the hall of Grimmauld Place, echoing and desolate. Lupin stood at the door, and Snape felt his loathing of the house that he felt had consumed his friend. Lupin chivvied himself along and took himself straight to his old bedroom, undressed and wrapped himself in the blanket. Then he heard Tonks clatter up the stairs and let herself in.

'She didn't even knock!' Snape thought angrily. 'You could have been naked.'

'I was naked!' Lupin laughed, a reverberation Snape felt in his body.

'You know what I mean,' Snape huffed.

"Hi Remus," said Tonks, with a smile. "It's good to see you safe and sound."

"Thank you, Dora," said Lupin and Tonks threw off her Auror's cloak and unbuckled and toed off her boots.

"Did you make much progress?" she asked lightly, sitting herself before him.

Snape thought he could detect more colour in her cheeks than before and a tinge of strawberry blonde to her hair as she spoke to Lupin.

"I'm hopeful for a couple of converts, possibly," Lupin replied lightly.

"That's good then," she said, a little awkwardly, Snape thought. "Remus?" she said haltingly. "I think you should know that I had a bit of a row with Snivellus."

"Please don't call Severus that, Dora," Lupin interjected and Snape felt the affront that Lupin felt and warmed himself with it.

"Why? When he's..."

"Dora. Please," Lupin said pacifically. "Severus has taken good care of me for some years now ..."

"He lost you your job, and made sure your secret was known to the world!" spat Tonks.

"Please don't judge Severus on that," Lupin said sadly. "There were many other circumstances to that ..."

"Well, tell me then. I'd like to know."

"I don't think this is really appropriate, Dora," Lupin said evasively, and Snape felt the heat of anger he so very rarely felt from Lupin. Then he felt Lupin squash it completely.

"No, I'm sorry. I just ..." Tonks sighed. "I asked him to come later because I wanted to talk to you in the morning. He refused, like he has some kind of ... claim to you." Snape felt a flicker of fear in Lupin's mind at those words.

"I think his tests are predicated on seeing me immediately on moonset, Dora. Remember he has brewed Wolfsbane for me for all these years – the best Wolfsbane I have had, and he makes adjustments and improvements to it based on those tests."

'Quite an impressive lie, Remus', Snape thought.

'You do make the best Wolfsbane and you do make adjustments and improvements. It's not really a complete lie.'

"Huh! Probably all so he can flog it at great expense," sneered Tonks.

'I'd make a fortune, if werewolves could work!' Snape commented snidely.

"Please, Dora," Lupin said, wearily.

"All right then, Remus. But you're too kind to him, y'know," she said unhappily.

They looked away from each other for a short while then Tonks said, "Perhaps I could see you earlier than moonrise." She blushed.

'She knows, Remus. She knows how you become. Probably David was the same!'

'You don't know that, Severus. You are the only one I have ever taken before moonrise. I don't know that David and Dora would have done that.'

"I'm more comfortable to meet like this, please Dora," said Lupin, colouring himself.

'You wondered yourself if she knew,' accused Snape.

"I'm sorry, Remus. That was insensitive of me. I should have realised you have your own memories too," she gabbled.

"We should ..." said Lupin, still smiling, but gesturing to her neck.

Tonks pulled her jumper off and pulled her hair away, and Lupin re-made the mark and Snape saw her reaction, more intense than before, her expression more needy as she wrapped her arms around him.

At that moment, the flare of pain began and Snape withdrew quickly so Lupin would not be distressed, as Lupin grabbed his wand wrist. He blinked his thanks.

"Go on," Lupin said when he had composed himself, and Snape re-cast.

The transformation was over and gradually the wolf settled down. Tonks withdrew her arms and then pulled out a beaker and a bowl from her rucksack and filled both with water and placed the bowl before Lupin.

"David always got very thirsty after the transformation. I don't know if you do but, well," she shrugged and drank from her own beaker as she watched Lupin, a soft smile on her face.

"At least this way, I get to talk to you without Snivellus interrupting!"

Lupin emitted a small bark of dissatisfaction. It was clear Tonks understood the tone.

"All right! All right! I won't call him names. You're too nice, Remus. He's a Death Eater. You know that. Sirius knew it. He had no truck with him."

Lupin barked again. Tonks raised her hands in the age-old signal of defeat and a small smile.

"Have it your own way, Remus. But I'm an auror. I trained under Moody, and you should hear what he had to say about what Sni ... Snape did during the last war. I'm just saying that a Hippogriff doesn't just discover a fondness for salad."

Lupin gave a small growl and padded a few steps away and curled up.

"I don't see why you should care so much. Honestly, Remus. You are a saint."

She moved over to Lupin and sat cross legged in front of him once more as she pulled on her jumper, and talked instead of her work as an auror and how she and Kingsley were finding more and more of their colleagues seemed to be either under the Imperius Curse or seeming to speak in sympathy with the Dark Lord's objectives. Moody, too, was complaining of a sea-change in a number of wizards' and witches' opinions. It was becoming disturbing and, as she talked, Lupin became more tired and drifted off.

Lupin came awake an hour before moonset, finding Tonks cuddled up against him, her fingers spread in his fur. Snape bridled in Lupin's mind, feeling her fingers as if they touched him, but he didn't interrupt this time. He watched instead.

"Hi there," she smiled. "I haven't slept. I miss this so," said Tonks softly, as she massaged Lupin's fur.

Snape felt his skin crawl with the heat of anger as he listened as Tonks told Lupin how she missed David and how these full moon meetings meant so much to her as a remembrance of her time with him.

'Didn't I tell you?' Snape seethed.

'It wasn't that I minded, Severus. If that was all, why would that bother me? Listen.'

"I've warded the door, Remus," Tonks said, and Lupin raised his head to look at her quizzically. "I don't really want to speak to you about this until you've reverted, so I'm hoping I can keep Sni ... sorry ... Snape out at least for a while. I think we have so much in common, it would really help me to talk and maybe," she inhaled deeply to steel herself, "maybe we could see each other? So ... anyway ... we'll speak in a few minutes."

Snape felt the irritation in the wolf as Tonks sat up and put her arms around Lupin once more just before moonrise.

Snape withdrew, his jaw working, but knowing how offended Lupin had been helped him with his anger that Tonks had asked Lupin for a date.

Lupin held Snape's wrist gently, as Snape held himself up on one elbow.

"Severus. You have no idea how I miss you at the full moon. Even if we stay in the flat, and just rest together, I smell your scent intensified: potions scents and your own musk. My husband's scent. It is so comforting. I miss it so. You treat me as if this is what I want. You know it's not. I claimed you so we would always be together ... only you," Lupin said sadly.

"Why do you take her side?" Snape said, hating the plaintive note he heard in his own voice.

"I do feel so sorry for her, Severus. We are asking so much of her. But I don't know how to put her off. If our relationship was not secret, and she knew about you, I'm sure she wouldn't be so forward with me. But it's based on a lie, and I don't know what to do."

"Can't you tell her you're taken?" asked Snape, stroking Lupin's hair.

"And when she asks who the mystery man is? Why you can't be with me at the full moon? What will I say? What if she looks – I mean, truly watches how you are when you come to me at moonset. I see it in your eyes. Perhaps she will if she looks. We can't risk it, Severus. We just can't. We can do this. I may not like what I hear, but I can live with a few insults or propositions if it keeps you safe."

"How much would you do exactly?" asked Snape, his mind whirling. "Would you sleep with her if she demanded it?"

"No! Severus, please don't do this again," Lupin pleaded.

"If the situations were reversed, Remus?" hissed Snape, knowing how to provoke the wolf – wanting to provoke the wolf to make Lupin understand Snape's own savage jealousy. "If I had to spend the night with Malfoy to keep you safe? How far would you let me go to keep you safe?

"Don't!" Lupin growled. "That's different ..."

"Not to me ..." Snape retorted darkly.

"If Malfoy even kissed you," Lupin said through clenched teeth, his eyes suddenly hard and his voice low, "I would not kill him with magic. That's not what a creature like me does. I would rip out his throat with my bare hands and teeth. Do you understand?" Lupin's hold on Snape's wrist tightened painfully. "And then yours."

It shouldn't have inflamed him the way it did, but Snape's desire roared to life to see his jealousy and possessiveness reflected in his husband's eyes and hear it in his husband's voice. It was the antidote to his desperate inadequacy.

Snape grabbed Lupin's shoulders and kissed him fiercely, and Lupin kissed hard back, their possessive passions equal.

Snape pulled Lupin's body to himself, biting his shoulder joint and up his neck, knowing the sounds Lupin made verged on pain, but Lupin did not stop him as he threw the covers from Lupin's body as his mouth bit possessively along it, right down to his pelvic bone, as his hands clutched Lupin's flesh. He bit too hard, and heard Lupin's hiss of pain.

Snape quickly pulled himself up and kissed Lupin's face, whispering his apology, although his body still yearned to possess Lupin fully.

"Would you like to carve your name over my heart?" whispered Lupin hoarsely. "Just your name. Why not? I am yours." Lupin's whisper made Snape's heart pound harder.

Snape held himself over Lupin's body as he stared into the blue eyes that met his. He couldn't deny how it appealed to him to have Lupin marked as Snape was marked; claimed as Snape was Claimed. He even knew the Dark spell that could mark Lupin as his blood bondsman until death, if Snape wanted. A small amount of reason stopped the incantation forming on his lips. It must not be known. Not yet. Not until it is safe.

His body throbbed with hot, hard want but when he leant in next, he kissed Lupin's chest gently, flicking his tongue over his nipple and hearing the gasps of pleasure that greeted each pass of his tongue and teeth. Snape moaned as he kissed over Lupin's chest hungrily until he came to the circlet on Lupin's arm. He kissed it reverentially and moved back to look at Lupin once more, his own eyes searching Lupin's, Lupin's hands stroking over Snape's back. His desire was so strong, but he couldn't take Lupin hard, not this day after the full moon. He had to hold himself back. But it was so hard, as he felt Lupin's hands clutch at his skin and hair in equal desire.

Snape took Lupin's erection in his mouth fully, sucking on him hard, each cry and thrust of Lupin's hips driving him on as his fingers quested underneath and then pushed in. Lupin bucked his hips with cry as Snape worked in fingers in time with his mouth, groaning and humming his own delight onto Lupin's cock, hearing and feeling Lupin's own in his ever-increasing cries of pleasure.

Snape pulled his mouth away when he was sure Lupin was near the brink, so Lupin whimpered, and Snape knelt, his fingers still working, and he gazed with heated desire on the man spread in front of him, sweating, flushed with desire, eyes dark with want, proud cock almost bursting. Snape inhaled the hot smell of their combined lust as he pushed Lupin's legs further apart and settled himself onto Lupin's body, his dark eyes smouldering.

"Severus, please," Lupin gasped, as he pulled Snape's lips with a strong kiss.

Snape moved his hips to Lupin's murmured encouragements, finally replacing his fingers with the tip of his too-hard cock. He stopped Lupin's mouth with his own as he kissed him hard, running his hands under Lupin's back to grip his shoulders.

Snape thrust in fully, crying out hoarsely in delight and deep, deep relief to feel the hot, tight muscle clench on him. Lupin moaned deeply and held Snape tightly as each man dropped his face into the other man's neck as they both struggled not to come too soon. Only when Snape was sure he could move once more did he begin to thrust slowly, but deeply, lifting himself so he was barely inches from Lupin's face to watch Lupin's eyes and mouth hunger for him, beg him, with each searching thrust, drinking in each cry as he hit Lupin's sweet spot, clenching around his cock, searing him with more hot pleasure than his body could take. His heart pounded and his blood rushed in his ears as his thrusts became harder and faster, to Lupin's cries for more until Snape felt the hot burst of Lupin's semen against his own stomach as he heard Lupin's shout, and released the powerful, unstoppable burst of his orgasm and he bent and pushed into Lupin hard as he shuddered and cried out.

Breathless and soaked, he gasped against Lupin's face, listening to the murmurs of love in his ears, his whole body weakening and his mind now pacifically calm as Lupin folded his arms around him and deep, sated sleep took them both away.

oooOOOooo

Lupin was back with the urban werewolves. He would do his best to speak to Snape by mirror as often as he could but expected to be gone for the month.

Snape was back at Hogwarts. His life seemed like a never-ending grind of trying to achieve results that eluded him.

Meetings with Dumbledore were infrequent, and there never seemed to be time for Snape to discuss his Vow. Whatever was currently taking Dumbledore away from the castle seemed to absorb him completely. Snape often saw books and instruments strewn across the large table in the ante-room, but Dumbledore never offered any information to him and no opportunity presented itself to Snape to extend the short audiences he had with him. His sleep when Lupin was not with him was as disturbed as ever but he would not resort to Dreamless Sleep. He could not afford to be become dependent.

Order meetings seem to encompass more and more disappearances and deaths. In addition, Tonks sent him baleful glares at most meetings. Snape ignored her. Lupin had sworn to him that if Lupin had any meeting with Tonks, he would show Snape in his mind. Snape dismissed his own scruples about that now. It was the only way he could know for sure and not torture himself. He would take it, and be grateful.

His researches for Lycanthropy were still ongoing, and any spare time he had he spent in his experiments for his ultimate goal of a cure for Lupin, even though Minerva, Filius, Charity and Septima often asked him to join their card schools or Minerva invited him to play chess. He should socialise with his colleagues, but researching for Lupin helped him feel close to him, working for their future.

He resented any time he spent making notes of his spurious experiments for the Dark Lord, but he had to be careful. His bogus researches had to look right, just in case the Dark Lord managed to recruit a potioneer of equal ability. The Death Eaters had failed with Slughorn, but there were others abroad that the Dark Lord was trying to recruit.

The Dark Lord did not push at Snape too hard. Now that Snape sliced open his own veins for the Dark Lord's mind, he was treated better than ever. The other Death Eaters deferred to him, if for no other reason than it was not their blood that was let once a month. It wasn't much of a consolation for being parted from Lupin, but at least it helped to keep him where Dumbledore needed him to be.

His teaching duties provided little relief. Most of his NEWT students struggled with non-verbal spells; Potter, most of all. Snape really couldn't fathom what lay at the root of Potter's difficulty. Snape thought if he goaded Potter, as he had in his Occlumency lessons, it might provoke him to success, but no matter how much he goaded him, Potter simply could not cast silently. Needless to say, the know-it-all at mastered it quickest of all, even more quickly than Malfoy.

And Malfoy ... the idiot child was still avoiding him. Snape had sent for him a couple of times, and the boy had simply not turned up! He had even asked Malfoy to remain behind after a lesson in front of the class, and yet the boy had slipped away. It was unheard of in Slytherin. Not even Potter was that disrespectful to him. Would Snape have to manhandle the heir of Malfoy Manor into his office to speak to him? He hoped it would not come to that, but he could not leave the boy to his own devices. He knew the boy was desperate, that the boy knew his family's survival rested heavily on his slight shoulders.

Snape drew his hands over his face as he sat back in his chair, wondering how to get through to the boy. Suddenly, there was a frantic knocking at his door. He rushed to open it, knowing no student would rap on the door of his quarters so stridently.

Filch stood on the threshold with something wrapped in a scarf.

"Professor Snape, sir," Filch wheezed. "Professor McGonagall sent me to bring this to yer. It cursed a student."

"Come with me," ordered Snape, as he closed the door to his quarters and led Filch to his office. Snape pointed to the desk, and Filch laid the scarf on it carefully as Snape Summoned his dragonhide gloves and illuminated the table with a powerful spell.

"Tell me as much as you know," said Snape softly, as he rotated with a charm the silver and opal necklace he had seen so often in Borgin & Burkes over the years. Filch didn't know much other than the student's name. Snape wrapped the necklace in wrappers and placed protective enchantments over it then both he and Filch took the Floo to the hospital wing.

"Oh Severus!" Poppy called. "Thank goodness you're here." She scurried towards him and told him everything Miss Bell's companion had told her.

Snape swept to the bedside of Miss Bell and began to cast to see how far the curse had travelled. Only the smallest portion of her skin had been cursed through a hole in her gloves, but it was a curse of great age and power and Snape began the incantation to inhibit its spread. The incantation and intricate wand-work took over an hour, until finally Snape felt through the resonances in his wand that the curse had been halted. It would spread no further. It would be up to the Healers at St. Mungo's now.

To Poppy's profuse thanks, which Snape acknowledged with a nod, Snape departed, rushing straight to Minerva's office to discuss the fate of her student.

"Severus!" Minerva greeted him, standing behind her desk. "Whatever happened?"

"It was an old Dark curse," Snape said, slumping into the chair opposite her, now exhausted. Minerva called for refreshments from the house-elf. "Minerva, if that child had not been wearing gloves, she probably would have died instantly." He covered his eyes with one hand. "However did she come by it?"

"Leanne and Katie went Hogsmeade today with the rest of their classmates. Apparently, Katie went to the ladies' room in The Three Broomstricks and when she returned, she had a brown paper package." Minerva fiddled with her hair at the sides, a nervous tic Snape had come to recognise. "They argued about where she had got it, and Katie refused to tell Leanne, just saying it was a present for someone at Hogwarts. I think she was Imperiused, Severus."

Snape stared at Minerva as she filled in the rest of the details, but he wasn't really listening as he tried to understand what had happened, with a deep nausea beginning to take hold of him as he began to wonder if Malfoy was behind it. If he was, it had been spectacular poor planning to leave such a dangerous object in the hands of an Imperiused child. What on earth would Malfoy in his desperation try next?

"I'd best be going, Minerva," Snape said shortly, as he stood. "I really am quite tired."

"Of course, Severus," Minerva said, touching his hand in acknowledgement. "Thank you for what you've done today for Katie."

Snape nodded. A few of the staff had come to know that counter-casting against Dark magic took its toll on him, physically and magically. It certainly was the truth that he was tired. He was shattered, in fact. All he wanted to do was speak to Lupin and then take to his bed. Surely, it wasn't so much to ask? But there would be no rest for him until he had found and spoken to Malfoy before he set himself upon another indiscriminately homicidal plan.

A/N:

Thank you very much to those who have reviewed already. Each review is very much appreciated.
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You Will Not Kiss Me