Change My World

Bored in a role, but he can\'t stop
Standing up to sit back down
And lose the one thing found
Spinning the world like a toy top
Till there\'s a ghost in every town

Can\'t make a sound
-- Elliott Smith


Love means nothing to a tennis player. But what does it mean to a Malfoy? Draco looked at himself in the mirror. The flickering candlelight played over his fragile features, illuminating his grey eyes as he once more inspected his teeth and breathed into his hand to observe his breath.

The week had been harder than he thought it would be. Harry Potter had always been a part of his life, an obsession for half a decade. Although up to this past month he\'d been trying desperately to end the boy. Now all he could think about was the stupid musty smell of his clothes and the impish untidiness of his hair. And then there was the look. That look the brunette gave him just before they kissed.

Draco\'s memory burned with the stupid way he\'d acted in the library. It had just been too much, too fast. He couldn\'t keep up with Potter emotionally. Having a week apart probably saved them both some trauma, as it gave Draco time to gain some perspective and to sort some things out. The extra time also made the Slytherin realize how necessary Harry had become, despite Snape\'s acerbic protests that rang through each detention like a blustery filibuster.

\"Do you have an ice pick?\" Draco had asked in the middle of a particularly daunting litany of Harry\'s shortcomings.

\"You don\'t need an ice pick to cut up Flobberworms, Draco,\" Snape pointed out.

\"No, but it would help to jab out my eardrums,\" the boy answered.

Shaking his head at the memory, Draco blew out the candle and crept back out of the bathroom. The dissonance of snores and other bodily noises in the room guaranteed him that Crabbe and Goyle were asleep. He\'d doctored glasses of warm milk with the Draught of the Living Death to guarantee their not rousing in the night to find him gone. Snape had put them on high alert to keep an eye on Draco. But the Potion\'s Master had evidently forgotten that Draco Malfoy was a Slytherin. And he would have his way.

Standing outside of Slytherin, he made sure his shiny Prefect badge was in full evidence in case Filch came along. He didn\'t enjoy the way that man leered at him and even though he had full rights to be out in the night, he worried what the man might do if he didn\'t have his badge on. \"Don\'t scream,\" Draco repeated to himself. What an odd thing to-

Harry clapped his hand over Draco\'s mouth before he had a chance to scream. Quickly he swirled the invisibility cloak up over Malfoy\'s platinum head to reveal to him that it was ok, it was just Harry. In his hand was the Marauder\'s Map that assured him no one was around when he\'d made his move.

Draco had been well on his way to a surprised scream before Harry\'s hand was over his mouth and he was suddenly enveloped in the familiar boyish smell of his lover. \"For the love of Merlin, Harry,\" he whispered to him, rolling his eyes in his annoyance at the surprise of being caught out like that.

Immediately Harry wrapped his arms around Draco who, in turn did the same, reveling in the feel of the boy who lived for a brief moment before they unclasped save for one arm around each other\'s waist. Draco held the fabric up as Harry consulted the Marauder\'s Map and directed them on the safest route up to the seventh floor. Searching out the portrait of Barnabas the Barmy being savaged by trolls in tutus, Harry started them back and forth in front of a blank wall concentrating hard on creating a room. Draco, having no clue as to why they were pacing decided that either Harry knew something he didn\'t, or had gone raving from being so close to his sexiness. And who could blame the boy?

After the third time around, Draco opened his mouth to say something when he saw a door appear. Pale brows raised, he simply followed Harry uncertainly into the Room of Requirement. The room was lovingly outfitted with a four-poster bed slightly larger the ones in the dorms, floating candles that flickered gently around the bed and a large squashy couch in front of a roaring fire. Shutting the door behind him, Draco slid out from under the invisibility cloak and immediately smoothed down his hair and remarked, \"What, no bearskin rug?\"

Harry blushed at the implication. Of course, Draco had no real way of knowing about the Room of Requirement and that this was all made in response to his thoughts. However, he probably did think that Harry set all of this up. \"Must you always be such an ass?\" he questioned as he slipped the cloak off of his body and cast around for somewhere to put it. Immediately a coat rack appeared and Harry hung it inside out on a black iron prong.

Snorting, Draco made his way over to Harry and wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled their hips together. \"I thought it was part of my charm,\" he insisted as he smirked mischievously at the Gryffindor who blushed and rolled his eyes.

\"Are you sure you know what that word really means, Malfoy?\" Harry taunted good-naturedly.

\"Oooh. DRACO!\" he mocked as he hooked his fingers through the elastic of Harry\'s pajama pants. It was only then that he took in Harry\'s flannel nightclothes and his nose wrinkled. \"What, don\'t see me for a week and you don\'t dress to impress?\" he questioned. Although even Draco had to admit that even in the dim light of the sputtering candles, the worn and fuzzy green fabric really did something for Harry\'s striking almond-shaped eyes.

\"Well, seeing as you don\'t usually allow me to stay clothed this long, I figured it didn\'t matter. And this is less likely to wrinkle when tossed on the floor,\" Harry sassed; pulling at the shoulder of the cotton material to prove it wouldn\'t hold a wrinkle.

\"Corrupted and thinking like a pro already. My little boy\'s all grown up,\" Draco taunted, his smirk turning to a lascivious grin as he scanned Harry\'s face. \"Well then, let\'s dispense with the pleasantries and get you bent over, Harry.\"

Harry cleared his throat and he pulled away. \"Well, it\'s technically your turn to bend over, isn\'t it?\" he questioned.

\"Oh, taking turns, are we? How romantic.\"

\"We evidently attended the same charm school,\" Harry countered.

Draco sneered as his hand moved to his own shimmering silvery silk pajama set. Bunching his fingers into the fabric of the top, he simply pulled it off over his head. Harry wasn\'t the only one thinking of what their apparel would look like crumpled beside the bed. Standing in only in his tenting pants, Draco dipped a tapered finger between his own radiant skin and the smooth fabric. \"Then I suggest we dispense with the talking?\"

\"Draco!\" Harry sputtered in shock. Why did this surprise him anymore? The blond always put off talking for action, and maybe he should take what he should get. Have sex and leave it like that. But now they had this room. No teachers waiting outside. No one knew where the two were. They had time. \"We need to talk.\"

\"We can talk later,\" Draco said as he closed the distance between them and skewed his head to the side to kiss at Harry\'s neck. His pale hands slipped up the brunette\'s torso, bypassing his nightshirt. Tasting the salty sweet tang of Harry\'s skin, Draco was working the material up with his arms. His fingers explored the ridges of Harry\'s nipples and then traveled to his back. Pressing his skin to the warmth of Harry\'s, Draco could feel the whimpering sigh of the Gryffindor.

After permitting Draco to pull the shirt over his head and fishing his arms back out of it, Harry put his hands on Draco\'s biceps and stilled his roving hands. \"Stop. Wait,\" he insisted.

Obediently, Draco stopped and sighed. \"Alright. Well... here, come on, let\'s just,\" he cast his eyes around for a moment. \"Lay on the bed.\"

Nodding, Harry made his way to the bed and peeled back the covers and slid in. Draco followed and the Gryffindor gathered the blond into his arms and stared into his grey eyes for a moment, \"Why don\'t you want to talk, Draco? Why is it always...\"

\"What is there to say, Harry?\"

\"Well, I want to know more about you.\"

Draco snorted and rolled his eyes. \"You\'ve known me for five years. If you don\'t now me by now...\"

\"That\'s not the same. What are your hopes, your dreams, your fears?\"

\"Those... right now those aren\'t easy questions to answer. I was on a path-I... hm. I\'m not sure exactly how to explain this without you getting angry. But you know how... I mean, who didn\'t know what path I was on? I was learning dark magicks and getting counsel from my father on what to do. Seeing where that path has led him to-- and let\'s face facts, he\'s so much stronger than I am.... It\'s just not logical for me anymore. And now this... and you... and... everything is changing so much since my father was imprisoned. For a while I fancied myself Snape\'s apprentice. But now we barely talk.\"

\"Because of me?\" Harry asked.

Draco shrugged but nodded. \"He hasn\'t said that outright-\"

\"But obviously-\"

\"Yes. Although my being a teacher would be-\"

\"About as bad as him as a teacher?\" Harry asked mirthlessly.

Still Draco hand to chuckle at the idea of it, \"Professor Malfoy. Not a very dignified profession for the sole heir of Malfoy, is it? Not that I need a job unless I\'m disowned, and even then.... I\'d be a crap teacher.\"

\"I\'m sure you\'d be brilliant at whatever you decided to do.\"

Again he chuckled. \"Gryffindor, \" he accused and rolled his eyes as he clutched Harry tighter to him. \"So there you go. I shared. Do I get my cock sucked now?\"

Harry sighed and wriggled his fingers under Draco\'s arms and shook his head. \"You are impossible! Aren\'t you going to ask my dreams?\"

After a quick squealing cackle at the tickling, Draco readjusted himself in a more defensive position against Harry, this time protecting his sensitive under arms. \"Well, you dream about being with me. Which is sensible and commendable. Beyond that, why would I care?\" he asked with a brow perked at a saucy angle that somehow managed to at once be infuriatingly arrogant and fantastically endearing.

\"I want to be an Auror,\" Harry answered without being asked, pressing on despite Draco\'s attempts at derailment.

\"Um, you realize you already don\'t have the grades--\"

\"I happen to think that saving the world from Voldemort should qualify me better than what grades I get from that greasy--\"

\"Right. Well,\" Draco started, flinching visibly at the Dark Lord\'s name spoken aloud and looking uncomfortable with the topic. Harry frowned at the Slytherin as he started to pull away from him.

\"I will defeat him, you know,\" Harry goaded on.

\"I don\'t doubt that,\" Draco said as he continued to recoil.

\"Does that idea make you angry?\" Harry\'s eyes narrowed at Draco as he tried not to look offended. \"Would you rather I be the one who dies?\" Draco flinched again and now seriously started to wrestle away from Harry\'s anxiously clutching arms. \"Well? Is that it? You\'d rather Voldemort and the Death Eaters win?\"

Draco became increasingly distressed, particularly as Harry grabbed his frail wrists and rolled on top of him. The Slytherin\'s face pinched up in a reddened irritation and hurt fury as Harry\'s knees pressed into his thighs. The abuse caused Draco to cry out, but Harry didn\'t let up. Instead he forced his full weight onto the blond and glared down at him as the intensity of Potter\'s rage flared. \"Stop it! Get off of me!\" Draco squalled in near hysterics.

\"DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?\" hissed the boy who lived.

Shaking his head, Draco broke down in sobs, choking them out without any way to shield his face from the glaring Gryffindor. \"Stop...\" he whispered between his body-wracking fit of lamentation. But Harry didn\'t let up. Harry\'s calloused and brown fingers squeezed harder on Draco\'s wrists until he cried out again, begging him to stop.

Feeling his wrath flare dangerously, Harry spat out, \"I want you to tell me. Say it to my face that you want me to die. Tell me you want me to lose this battle. Tell me.\"

\"I...\" Draco\'s face was scarlet with anguish and his breathing was labored. \"Don\'t want...\" He took a few more hard breaths as he tried to shift his hips to dislodge Harry only to feel the Gryffindor redouble his efforts to keep him pinned down. \"Anyone to die. I lose someone I lo-\" Draco stopped before he got it out and rolled his eyes and cast them down in the humiliation of his helplessness under Harry. \"I lose either way.\"

\"Oh god.\" Harry released Draco\'s wrists and stared in dismay at the boy beneath him. He had completely misread Draco. Utterly. He\'d failed Draco. Failed to have faith in him and his feelings, even failed to trust his own instincts about what the Slytherin had felt. \"I-\"

Draco\'s released arms instantly wrapped around Harry and clung to him as the pale waif pressed his face into the crook of Harry\'s neck. He wept piteously against the Gryffindor. A riot of emotions each one no less treacherous than the last as it all swept over Malfoy in waves. His family or his lover, to have one would be the sacrifice of the other. And what was worse was that he\'d brought this all on himself. He\'d allowed himself into this spot by entertaining the notion of having Harry Potter in his life.

\"I\'m sorry, I\'m so sorry,\" Harry whispered to Draco as he clutched back at the wailing boy. He kissed the side of Draco\'s head lovingly as his fingers skimmed along the thin musculature of his lean sides. The muscles rippled in response underneath the delicate skin as Malfoy still quaked with unspent emotions that were bubbling over the corners of his eyes dampening Harry\'s neck. \"I\'m sorry. I love you, Draco. I love you so much,\" he whispered against the pale pink shell of the Slytherin\'s ear.

At this, Draco stilled, although surprisingly he didn\'t stiffen or shrink from the sentiments. Instead it seemed to pacify him. Love. Harry loved him. But he knew that already, didn\'t he? Deep down he knew that despite the Gryffindor\'s protests the week before that this was what he was going to say. \"Say it again,\" Draco demanded as his arms slackened their grip on Harry\'s body. His fingers flexed and then started to trace patterns over Harry\'s supple, bronzed back.

\"I love you,\" Harry responded as he pulled his head back from the clinging boy so that he could look down into the blood-shot grey eyes. \"I love you, Draco,\" he spoke again, staring keenly at him. Moving a coarse hand up to Draco\'s angular blotchy face, he drew his finger beneath his lower eyelid to brush away the tears. His thumb swept tenderly over the now puffy and florid lips of his former rival, his lover, his Draco.

\"Make love to me, Harry,\" Draco breathed against the caresses.

Green eyes curtained by the closing of his eyes, Harry breathed, \"Yes,\" in response and pulled off his glasses and set them on the nightstand. Tilting his head to the side, he pressed his lips against Draco\'s and kneaded them till they yielded. Their languid tongues met lovingly as Draco\'s body rose up to press against Harry\'s enticingly.

The fire crackled and sparked, radiating warmth into the hazy room. Harry\'s hands slid down Draco\'s sides and he lovingly tugged at the waistband and nudged it down his porcelain thighs. The Slytherin\'s hands balled into fists in the fabric of Harry\'s flannel pants and he likewise pulled them down, watching as they caught on the his erection. Laying a thick hand over his length, Harry used his thumb to wedge it free kicked out of the clothing it easily.

\"Are you sure?\" Harry asked softly as he kissed against Draco\'s silken neck.

\"I am,\" Draco answered as his hands slipped down Harry\'s supple back and he massaged the swell of the Gryffindor\'s ass. He delicately strummed his fingers over the compliant skin and opened his grey eyes to watch emotions play over the Gryffindor\'s face. Harry\'s lips parted and he exhaled gradually as he leaned down, pressing his length against the fold of Draco\'s thighs. Slowly he rubbed his hips against the crease of skin as he again kissed Draco, feeling his tongue met with a dreamy affection.

Make love to him. Make love to Draco. Harry was anxious. He\'d done this before, but only once. Breaking the kiss he turned his head towards the table. As he wished it, there was a small bottle of lubricant and he grabbed for it. Spreading it over his fingers, he reached down slicked himself. Draco was luminous against the darkness of the sheets. One leg was pulled up at a simple but graceful angle and his colorless hair splayed out in stark contrast to the bed. Shadows played over his angular face making his expression even more vulnerable as his grey eyes scanned the boy who lived.

Leaning down again, Potter pressed his slippery fingers into Draco causing the boy\'s body to arc up against him. Harry stroked his thumb against the hard ridge of perineum and then moved his thumb up a bit higher to soothe the underside of the teen\'s scrotum. The Slytherin bit his lip and his brows furrowed as he tried to train himself to relax again. It took less time now, as his trust had grown and his body\'s reluctance waned. Soon Harry\'s fingers were sliding easily through the band of muscles and Draco\'s long arms and pallid fingers stroked up Harry\'s body, coaxing him against him. \"Please,\" he whispered, longing for Harry\'s balmy body atop him and the exotic discomfort of their connection.

It was still painful for Draco to take Harry\'s length, but his muscles parted and strained, engulfing Harry as Draco\'s teeth bared to manage it. Glistening with a sticky patina of sweat, Draco pulled Harry down against him, listening to the quiet seal of their skin coming together. Draco hooked his arms in under Harry\'s shoulders and clutched him firmly as he worked his hips in time to Harry\'s.

The tanned youth rested his weight mostly on his elbows, freeing his hands to move under the pale teen. Hooking his fingers over Draco\'s shoulders, he moved in and out of him as his lips and tongue kissed over every bit of flesh that Draco\'s writhing body offered. Harry kissed up Draco\'s shoulder, over his neck, to the side of his mouth and then invaded the Slytherin again with the warmth of his tongue. His thrusts were deep and leisurely, Draco\'s movements matched and his hips shifted to feel Harry\'s length lodging into him as deeply as he could take him. Their bodies moved together in perfect rhythm, an easy time in which they shared languid kisses, deep breaths, soft whimpers and unhurried moans.

Draco\'s back arched as he felt the spark of release start to touch him, causing Harry to increase his speed and enunciate his thrusts. Draco was lost in feeling, in sharing, in being a part of Harry. It was freeing and terrifying. He felt a strangled and startled cry escape his lips as Harry\'s release warmed and slicked inside of him. Malfoy\'s orgasm came shortly after, increasing the slipperiness between their conjoined bodies. \"Harry... Harry...\" he whispered to his lover as Harry trailed kisses over Draco\'s face and down his neck again. Harry\'s body fell exhausted next to Draco\'s; his body was also alight with a dewy coating that glistened in the firelight. After taking a moment to compose himself, Draco turned onto his side and whispered to the spent Gryffindor, \"I love you too, Harry. I love you.\"

Harry felt his chest swell and expand with adoration. He had never felt so loved, cherished, so... wanted and... complete as he did right now. Reaching forward, he pushed Draco\'s matted platinum locks back from his face and his mouth opened to speak. But instead of his own voice announcing his personal sentiments, something deep, gravelly and evil came out of his strained mouth. His face contorted as he fought desperately for control over what he was saying. But what came out of his mouth wasn\'t his and the voice that came out wasn\'t his, nor was it the high, cold pitch of what his mind heard.

His hand lowered and wrapped firmly around Draco\'s throat and closed in with impossible strength. The confused blond gasped out, \"Harry?\"

\"...Harry?\"

\"TRAITOR!\"