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Love me, love me not	By : blanchemalfoy Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 5357 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Beta readers: Jamie, Jade and Lildove.

Chap. 09

Bonds

No matter how hard he tried, Draco couldn�t
concentrate on his work. Hermione had already called this to his attention four
times, but it was no use. His mind was focused on Harry and that weird morning
they had spent together.

What an awful way to start the day. An argument
with Harry hadn�t been in Draco�s plans. In truth, he knew Harry would have
snapped sooner or later. He just hadn�t expected it that soon. Draco had let
his guard down that morning. He should have been prepared for Harry�s harsh
words. He should have seen them coming. But he hadn�t, and now he was paying
the price for being so careless.

He hadn�t expected to feel so miserable. He had
had no idea that it would hurt so much to hear Harry calling him a fag. Harry�s
apology wasn�t enough. He wanted to see Harry begging for his forgiveness. It
would be even better if Harry gave him a blowjob in exchange for absolution.
Draco shook his head and smiled sadly. That was something that would never
happen.

�You know I hate you. You know I like hurting
you. I will forever call you names. I don�t know why you are so surprised!� Harry�s spiteful words kept coming back to him. Along with them came
others, even more hurtful and unkind. Draco remembered very well his father�s
words the day he had caught Draco in bed with another boy.

�You�re a disgrace! A perversion! Do you think
I�ll let you go on with this? Do you? I�ll take this sickness out of you even
if it kills you!� And indeed, Lucius had
almost killed him with his incessant sessions of psychological torture, potions
and spells to take the so-called sickness out of him. All of Lucius�
magic tricks were in vain. Draco had remained the same. Too bad Draco had been
an only child, because Lucius hadn�t given up on him. He had still tried to
push Draco to his limit. He had tried to make Draco a Death Eater. Lucius had
driven him mad until Draco had enough of it and realised that he wasn�t the
sick one. His father � the one he had always been so proud of � was sick. His
whole belief system was sick.

Draco had then joined the Order in secret. He
had betrayed his father and abandoned the only life he had ever known. But all
of those sacrifices hadn�t meant anything to the wizarding world. With
Dumbledore�s death, there had been no one left to stand up for him. Dumbledore
had been the only one who believed in Draco. The old man had given him a second
chance in life. But without Dumbledore, Draco was left alone to face the
consequences of his actions. He had been condemned by society for betraying his
own parents - never mind that they had been Voldemort�s servants. And at the
same time, he had been treated with disdain because of his surname.

The Malfoy name, once so respected, had been
put to shame.

It had been the Weasleys and Hermione who had
helped him find his honour again and put himself together. For that, Draco
would be eternally grateful.

He frowned as the memories invaded him. He
thought he had gotten over his past, but one morning with Harry had proven him
wrong. Harry had hurt his feelings. For a moment that day, Harry had reminded
him of Lucius. Draco had felt so terrified, so helpless. He could bear the
thought of Harry hating him for being Malfoy, his nemesis. But he couldn�t
handle Harry hating him for being gay.

Harry�s acceptance shouldn�t be so important to
him, but it was.

At least Harry had been honest. Such honesty,
as brutal as it might have been, had taken him by surprise. And even if Harry�s
next words hadn�t brought him any consolation, they hadn�t discouraged him
either.

There was still a flame in Harry�s eyes. All
the pain Harry had suffered obscured it, but it was there. Draco wanted to be
the one to bring back the flame. He wanted to see those beautiful green eyes
sparkling with the same joy as before.

Harry hated Draco but wanted him to stay. Did
that mean anything? Draco shouldn�t get his hopes up too high. It would just
make the fall more painful.

It had surprised him even more that Harry was
concerned with their life and death bond, a bond that Draco had never given
much thought about. Now he wondered why. He knew those bonds were strong
between wizards, but he didn�t know much about them. Could it be that the bond
was the reason why he felt so attracted to Harry? He made a face. The bond had
nothing to do with it. Draco had had a crush on Harry long before the bond.

�Hermione?�

Hermione raised her head away from the report
she was writing and arched her eyebrow, slightly annoyed for being interrupted.
�What?�

�What do you know about wizards� bonds?�

The subject seemed to interest her because she
dropped her quill. �What kind of bond are we talking about?�

�How many bonds are there?�

She made a disbelieving face. �Are you kidding
me? There are tons of bonds between wizards. There are bonds of friendship,
bonds of marriage, bonds of love, bonds of power, bonds of life and death� You
can even bond yourself to your house, but no one does that anymore.�

�You actually have a bond for marriage and
another for love?�

�Well, in the past most marriages weren�t for
love. They were arrangements between families. I thought you knew that. I mean,
the Malfoys have always married through familial arrangements, haven�t they?�

�And how do you know that?�

�I read it in A Legacy � The Old and
New Generation of Witches and Wizards. It dedicates a whole chapter to your
family.�

�Really? I don�t remember that book��

�That�s
probably because the author doesn�t seem to like your family� The chapter is
anything but flattering.�

Draco shrugged. �I�m not surprised� But enough
about my family. What else do you know about bonds?�

Hermione laced her fingers together and rested
her head on the chair. �Bonds were very common in the past, but because they
were dangerous, people stopped using them.�

Draco jolted in his chair. �Why are they
dangerous?�

�Well, because a careless bond can lead the
parties involved into madness.�

Draco�s heart almost stopped. �All bonds
are dangerous?�

�Not all of them... But most are.�

�Even the life and death bond?�

�It depends. The life and death bond can be
very complicated, but only if you cast it upon yourself and a second person.
You see, some bonds come naturally. You don�t need a spell to have a bond. In
fact, the dangerous bonds are the ones created by spells and potions. Natural
bonds aren�t so dangerous, but they are very rare and therefore hard to find in
books.�

�What about life and death bonds that happen
naturally?�

�I�m not very sure�� she looked thoughtful.
�Normally, natural bonds don�t lead to insanity, because they weren�t created
by spells. They just happen. They are strong, but you can live the rest of your
life apart from the person you are connected to without any problems. Unless,
of course, one of the people involved is obsessed with the other. Then it can
be a problem.�

�By obsession you mean love or� hate.�

�Yeah, you could say that.� She stared at him
curiously. �Why are you asking me this? Did something happen between you and
Harry?�

�No,� he replied defensively.

�You look weird today. Something happened. You
just don�t want to talk to me. Was he rude to you?�

Draco rolled his eyes. �He�s always rude to me.
And the worst part is that I can�t blame him.�

�Well, you reap what you sow.�

�Oh, that is so bloody profound!� Draco
sneered.

She made a face. �Just tell me what�s wrong.
Why are you suddenly so interested in wizards� bonds?�

He took a deep breath and decided to tell her.
�I saved Harry�s life once. We were still in the Order. We were on a mission
and he was careless. I got him out of the way of an Unforgivable Curse. Now he
says we are bound together because of this, and he seems very concerned about
it.�

She almost fell off her chair. �Really? Why
don�t I know about any of this?�

�I don�t think anyone knows. As much as I felt
like bragging about it, I didn�t tell anyone. I guess Harry didn�t tell anyone
either� He really seems worried about the whole thing. I can�t understand why.
I won�t ask for his life,� he sneered.

She bit her lower lip. �But you could, if you
wanted to. That�s probably why Harry is so concerned. After all, he doesn�t
trust you. It must be hard to owe your life to an enemy.�

�Thanks for the kind words,� Draco sniggered.

She sighed. �I�m sorry, Draco� But if it�s of
any consolation, I do believe Harry doesn�t hate you the way he thinks he
does.�

�I don�t feel any better.�

�Too bad��

�So he owes me his life and I have a right to
claim it. That�s a very dangerous bond�� And very interesting too, he thought.
There he was, joking about wanting Harry�s soul in return for his favour, and
he could actually have Harry�s soul. Without having to ask for
anyone�s permission. He smiled.

�I told you most bonds are dangerous. But
Draco, you won�t do anything to him, will you? He�s so fragile right now and��

He shook his head and smiled at her concerned
expression. �Hermione, dear, you were the one who sent me to help him. Now you are worried?�

�I didn�t know you two shared such a strong
bond!�

�And what does that mean? Do you want me to
give up on him and forget the whole thing?�

�No. I just want you to take it easy on him.�

�You should have thought of that before� With
or without a bond, I can hurt him.�

The smile she shot in his direction told Draco
exactly what she was thinking.

�But you won�t hurt him. You aren�t the same
spoiled-brat that I�ve slapped once.�

Draco smiled at the memory and he stroked his
face softly. �I still remember it. That was quite a slap! I can still feel it,�
he mocked. �I should have sued you when I had the chance.�

She smiled back, but then her face got very
serious. �We could try to break the bond. There isn�t any evidence that natural
bonds can make you insane, but� One can never be too sure. I mean, look at
Snape.�

�What�s wrong with him?� Draco frowned.

�What isn�t?� Hermione bit her lower lip and
then began to explain, �Harry�s father saved Snape�s life once. Because of
that, Snape was bonded to him. The bond remained even after James� death. You
probably don�t know this, but Snape hated Harry�s father to a point that he
became obsessed with it. His hate led him to madness. Snape hated Harry because
of it, and in his tormented mind he couldn�t separate Harry from James. That
was why he picked on Harry so much. That�s also why he kept protecting Harry.
It�s a contradiction, I know. Because while he hated Harry, he was bonded to
him.�

�Snape was bonded to James Potter, not Harry!�

�Well, yes. But like I said, his hate was
making him mad. He thought that by helping Harry he would get rid of his bond
with James. I don�t know if it worked. I never saw Snape again after our
Graduation��

�So this is why Potter is so concerned. He�s
afraid he�ll end up like Snape.�

�I don�t know. Maybe� I�ll see what I can find
out about the subject.�

He watched her pick up the quill again and get
back to work, but Draco sensed her concern. He knew her mind was searching for
more information about wizards� bonds.

�Look, Hermione, you know I would never do
anything to hurt him, right? I mean, Harry and I will never stop getting on
each other�s nerves, but there�s a limit even to that.�

She sighed and rested the quill on the table
again. �I know. But� perhaps if I had known sooner about this bond, I wouldn�t
have asked for your help. It isn�t that I don�t trust you. You�re my partner. I
know you�ve changed a lot. But I�m afraid that this bond might hurt both of you
with or without your consent.�

�So maybe I should leave him alone after all��

�No! You keep bugging him, but try not to
exaggerate. Because of you he already spoke to Ron and me on his free will. He
was the one who came looking for us. So I�m very pleased so far. Just� watch
out.�

Draco nodded, his eyes lost in the fake
landscape of the also fake window. Watch out? She was joking. Right?

TBC...
- 8
- 9
- 10
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Love me, love me not

Bonds