Life as I know it | By : BlindedHP Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 75983 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 6 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Title: Life as I know it
Summary: This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone expects him to be when he first enters Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.
Warnings: BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, chan, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.
Chapter 9 (Posted on 25 February 2015): The power of words
Severus stiffened as he heard his door open, but the fleeting hope he had that it was just Dumbledore coming down for some reason or another, was gone as he heard the mutt's voice.
Harry turned his head slightly so he could see past Severus, but even though every fiber of his being wanted him to wrap his arms around the boy and hold him back, he knew he couldn't.
Any sudden movements on his part would probably set Black's thought patterns back in motion, and he could lose …. he was not going to think about that.
Harry was sitting up by this time and Severus pulled the arm that had somehow wrapped around Harry's shoulder back, as Black came further into the room.
"Just what in the world is going on in here?"
Black's voice was more of a growl than an actual human voice but Severus understood him nonetheless.
"Harry, could you go to your room for a while? I wish to speak to your do..godfather for a moment."
Harry looked between the two before focusing on his Master again.
"Yes Ma… sir." Blushing bright red at his slip-up Harry turned and all but ran to his room.
Before the door was even closed, he heard his godfather's louder than normal voice;
"This is as much about Harry as it is about you Snivilus, there's no need to send him to his room!"
Harry closed his eyes as he heard his godfather's voice and words. It hurt more than he cared to admit, that Sirius was being so mean and harsh with his Master. He just hoped his Master would sort it out, he always did…
"If you don't shut your trap right this moment Black, I'll forcibly remove you from my quarters and you will never see your godson again. Is that clear?"
"You can't keep me from seeing my own godson Snape! You have no say in Harry's life, and I will make sure that he is as far away from you as possible, before I leave this room tonight."
A shattering of what sounded like a glass falling, reached their ears and Severus cursed under his breath before he sent a scathing look at Black and turned to Harry's room.
Severus quickly entered the room and shut it just as Black was coming up behind him. The satisfaction of seeing Black's nose squashed was short lived as he saw Harry's petrified frame.
Putting up the silencing charm he had wanted to put up before Black had let his mouth run wild, Severus quickly locked and warded the door and then turned back to Harry.
Holding his arms open in invitation, he was gratified when Harry didn't even hesitate to come to him.
"Sshh Harry, it's okay. I am not going anywhere and neither are you. Black, Sirius, doesn't know anything about our relationship and I believe that giving him the knowledge would only worsen his current mood. I won't let him take you if you do not wish it Harry. I promise you that."
Harry raised his head a bit and focused entirely on his Master.
"I don't want to go with him Master. I don't even know him! He's my godfather and it means that I do have a family -of sorts- but I can't go with him, I just can't!"
"You don't have to Harry. Remember what I said; I'm here to take care of you and provide you with what you need. No one will be able to take you from me as we have a signed contract which was willingly signed by both you and me. Nothing can keep me from you if you do not wish is to."
Harry nodded a little uncertainly but he smiled when his Master lifted his face with a finger under his chin.
"You heard what I said before your godfather entered, didn't you?"
"Yes Master." Harry whispered as he once again lowered his eyes. He could still not believe the words he had heard.
"You heard me say 'I love you' and that I'll care for you no matter what. I mean it Harry. I've gotten to know you, and love you for who you are Harry. That won't change, no matter what anyone else says."
Harry was once again forced to focus on his Master's face, as his chin was lifted up.
"I love you Harry. You Harry, the Harry you try so desperately to keep separated from 'Harry James Potter' and 'The-Boy-Who-Lived-Harry', but I love all of you; every aspect which makes up Harry Potter and nothing can change that."
Master Severus placed a gentle kiss on his forehead as he finished, but before Harry could even attempt to make sense of all the emotions running through him, his Master left the room and closed the door once more.
Harry sank down on his bed with tears in his eyes but also a hopeful smile blossoming on his face. His Master loved him, had admitted that he loved him, to his face! Harry relaxed into the bed and closed his eyes with a contented sigh.
"What the hell is wrong with you?! Can't you even wait until a silencing charm is erected before you let your tongue loose?"
Severus had put up a silencing charm just as he exited Harry's room as he didn't want another incident such as the one that just passed.
"Why would we need a silencing charm? Harry's entitled to hear everything I have to say, I actually want him to hear everything I have to say!"
Severus took a deep breath in order to calm himself and not curse the mutt first, before explaining anything to him.
"The silencing charm is not to keep Harry from hearing what I have no doubt will be ridicule upon ridicule from your side about myself, but is to keep you from hurting Harry even more than you've already done."
"I hurt Harry? I've hurt Harry? Just on who's lap did I find him when I entered? What exactly have you done to my godson you perverted beast!?"
"I assure you that I've done nothing to Harry that he didn't want me to."
"Oh, and that makes me feel so much better." Black sarcastically retorted.
Severus raised a questioning eyebrow. "Just how much faith do you have in your own godson Black if this is all it takes for you to think the worst of him?"
Black flushed as he realized what he'd just insinuated but he didn't back down.
"You two looked just a little too cozy there on the couch for my own comfort. Have you Harry under 'Imperius'? He would never willingly be in your company otherwise, never mind with his head on your lap!"
"That just shows how much you know Black. If I trusted you with a wand I'd let you test for yourself that Harry is under no spell, but as I don't, trust you that is, you'll just have to take my word for it. Harry might tell you himself why he prefers my company above anyone else's someday, but I promise you now, hurt that boy in any way, and you'll have me to deal with."
The fact that Harry was under a spell of Severus's casting was not relevant at the time as it was just for punishment's sake, but Black definitely didn't need to know that.
Severus had at first worried that the spell would 'kick in' during the Tri-Wizard-Tournament that year but he realized that as Harry had no choice in what he was doing, and as Severus was aware of the situation, the spell laid dormant.
Black looked between him and the door leading to Harry's room, undecided.
"Go on in Black but if he's asleep and you wake him, you'll have to deal with the consequences."
Consequences which Severus knew included Harry choosing him above Black if it should come to that, but for Harry's sake, Severus hoped the boy was asleep and stayed that way.
Black entered the room and he looked at his godson for a minute or two before he retreated again.
"Albus has asked Remus and me to gather the 'old crowd' for him, as I'm sure you know. I will leave now but be sure that I will inform the headmaster of what I'd walked in on and that I don't trust you, at all."
Severus just nodded his head in acceptance before he opened the door and practically pushed Black out the door.
As soon as the mutt had left Severus went back to Harry's room and found the boy looking at him with a worried expression.
"You sneaky little bugger. You were awake the whole time, weren't you?"
Harry smiled as his Master entered the room and scooted up to make room.
"No, I woke up as the door opened, but I realized that it was someone else and not you. You always walk in a few paces before stopping or you come right up to the bed."
Severus raised his eyebrows at that and realized that Harry was right. That was exactly what he usually did.
"I feigned sleep as I reckoned it was Sirius and I didn't want him to take me away from you. He isn't, is he? Taking me away I mean." Harry realized that he was still apprehensive about the thought, and he hoped dearly that that was not the case.
"No Harry, you're not going anywhere."
Harry settled back against the strong chest of his Master as Master Severus moved in behind him and pulled him close.
The soothing circles being rubbed on his arms relaxed Harry to such an extent that he felt like a puddle of goo that would spread in every direction should the strong hold his Master had on him lessen even the tiniest bit.
The hands rubbing his arms stopped suddenly, and Harry wanted to protest, but remembered his place. His Master had stiffened a bit behind him and as Harry turned a bit to look questioningly at his Master, he felt something he had not felt in years.
His Master was half hard behind him and thoughts of what Vernon used to do flashed through Harry's mind.
He didn't even realize he was panicking before two strong arms surrounded him.
"Hush Harry. It is all right. Nothing is going to happen. I promise you. Relax, I am sorry about this, but you remember what I told you about a man's body reacting on its own? Yes, that is what happened now Harry. I am sorry, I won't do anything, I promise."
Harry relaxed once again at the soothing words, but as he tried to settle back against his Master, Master Severus moved out from behind him.
"Just relax Harry. I am sure you are tired and I myself am ready for bed. Sleep now and we can talk again tomorrow."
Harry felt a bit rejected when he realized that Master Severus was moving away from him but realized that his Master was probably trying to reassure him that nothing was going to happen; that made him feel a bit better.
Severus hated lying to Harry, but as the truth would have sent the boy running, Severus had opted for what would make Harry feel the safest.
The thoughts which had entered Severus's mind while he rubbed soothing circles on Harry's arms had shocked him. He felt like a pervert for thinking such things of Harry, but as they had already made themselves known, it was hard to ignore them.
He knew he would never make reality of those thoughts but just thinking them made his blood run cold. How could he think of such thoughts regarding Harry after everything the boy had been through?
The fact that he was the boy's Master notwithstanding.
He loved the boy, no question about that, but he vowed to himself that he would repress any feelings regarding a romantic love, until such a time as Harry had healed enough to consciously make a consensual decision regarding their relationship.
'Chaos' was the only word Harry could use to describe the scene around him. People were running around without any real destination in mind as they tried to escape the bodies lying on the ground, looking at everyone alive with accusing yet lifeless eyes.
Harry's focus however was on one person alone. Master Severus.
His Master was one of those on the ground, and the sword protruding from his chest left little doubt as to whether he was all right or not. 'Dead' was the thought that ran through Harry's mind but he refused to believe it.
He knelt down next to his Master and hesitantly touched the man's chest. He looked older from where Harry was on his knees next to him.
Master Severus's eyes opened at Harry's touch to his chest, and he looked up at Harry.
"You never admitted to it you know."
Harry didn't know what his Master meant but the accusation in his eyes tore at his heart.
"You never once told me that you cared for me as much as I do you."
Tears leaked down his cheeks as he realized his Master was right. He had never told his Master that he cared about him. He had never told the man how much his care and love meant to him.
Harry opened his mouth to say something, maybe he wanted to confess his own feelings for his Master, but he never got the chance. His Master's eyes closed and as Harry's hand was still on his chest, he could feel that the surprisingly steady breathing had ceased and that there was no heartbeat to be felt.
Just as Harry thought he'd break down in sobs and die from heartbreak, a voice behind him startled him into looking up.
He found his Master standing in the doorway behind him with a very worried look on his face. His wand was pointed just past Harry and once again he repeated 'Riddiculus'.
The still form of his Master on the floor morphed into one of Professor Dumbledore pleading desperately with a house-elf to help him search for his 'false teeth', as Dumbledore seemed to have lost them.
Harry couldn't help but crack a smile at the scene, even as tears continued to flow down his cheek.
Master Severus wrapped him in a conjured blanket before wordlessly leading him down to their chambers. Harry didn't even try to correct his thoughts of 'their' chambers to 'his Master's chambers, as he was really beginning to think of them as 'theirs'.
As the door closed behind them, Harry turned around and buried his face in his Master's robe.
"I do care about you! I do!" Harry just kept repeating the same thing over and over as his Master led him to the couch and rubbed his back soothingly.
"Ssshh Harry, it's okay. It wasn't real; it was just a Boggart Harry. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."
"I know, I know! But I never told you how much you mean to me! You died before I could tell you that I care about you, I really, really care!"
"I know Harry. Thank you for telling me now. No need to worry about that anymore Harry, as I'm here, alive and well, and you've just told me that you care about me. That means a lot to me Harry. Thank you."
Harry didn't know what else to say and so just kept repeating that he did care about his Master, and thanking his Master for everything he had done for him.
Eventually he fell asleep, with the strong presence of his Master around him, and the knowledge that his dreams of being rejected as soon as he expressed his feelings for his Master to the man, were not becoming a reality.
The scene which Severus had entered to when he had gone looking for Harry, was not one he had ever expected to see.
The sight of him lying dead before a distraught Harry was one he hoped he would never have to see again, and one he prayed would never come to fruition as he would never want to be the cause of Harry looking that devastated again.
A thought which had been running through his mind ever since he had seen the brand Vernon Dursley had placed on Harry returned, and he felt that it might be a good time to discuss this with Harry.
There was no doubt in his mind that Dursley had branded Harry against his will, and that the 'mark of ownership' was one that Harry wished had never been given.
A salve he had made years ago in the hope to rid himself of his own 'mark of ownership', might just work for Harry, and Severus knew he would do everything in his power to find those notes again and make the potion for Harry.
Hours passed by, which felt like minutes to Severus, as he searched drawer after drawer for his notes, and just as Harry emerged from the kitchen with breakfast for the both of them, Severus held the notes up triumphantly. He hadn't even noticed Harry waking, or making breakfast, and cursed himself for his inattention.
"Morning Master, I've made you some breakfast."
"Thank you Harry and good morning to you too. Would you join me this morning, there's something I would like to discuss with you?"
"Yes Master." Harry replied as he sat himself next to Master Severus.
"I have told you how I feel about you Harry, and last night you also told me your own feelings. Know that that means a lot to me and I can't thank you enough for showing me just how much I mean to you. I feel that you've come a long way since first year, and that you could admit your feelings to me even when you expected rejection, means a lot."
"I've told you what I think of your previous Master, and what he did to you Harry. That he was, and is, a sick man for what he did. I don't however, hate any part of the Harry which he has molded. I could never hate anything about you, be it your personality or your physical appearance, or marks you bear."
"I would like to offer you the option to rid yourself of the only physical evidence you have left of your old Master. Yes, the brand on your back. I have a salve that I have no doubt would erase it completely, and you will be rid of the man once and for all."
Plans of ridding not only Harry but the whole world of any trace of the man named Vernon Dursley, formed in his head but Severus pushed them to the back of his mind. He would deal with them at another time.
Severus could tell that even though Harry was somewhat excited at being rid of the brand on his back, there was something else bothering the boy.
Harry answered the silent question without any prompt.
"But then I… I.. won't, won't belong anymore. To anyone. I want to belong to someone and V.. Vernon used to say that I belonged to him because of the… the.. mark."
The ramblings were beginning to fall into place in Severus's mind and he looked at Harry with a contemplative expression.
"Would you like for me to give you physical evidence of how much I care for you Harry? Would you like me to show you just how much you mean to me, and that no one will be able to take you way, as long as you wish to stay with me?"
Harry looked both frightened and exited about the prospect, and Severus vowed that whatever he decided, he would not brand the boy in any way. Ever.
"Thank you Master." Was all Harry could say and Severus nodded once to him before he exited their quarters.
Harry didn't ask where he was going, and only made his way to his room where he settled on his bed with a Sixth year Potions book.
An hour later the door to his room opened and Harry looked up to find Master Severus looking down at him.
Harry wordlessly moved over to make room for his Master, and relaxed immediately as strong arms wrapped around him.
"I've told you that I love you a few times now, but I never want you to forget it Harry. I love you with all my heart and wish you only the best in life, wherever you find that."
Harry listened attentively as he could hear his Master was as serious and sincere as he had ever been.
Something was placed in his hand and Harry looked down to find what looked like a collar in his hand.
Master Severus lifted Harry's hand with one of his own and held the leather collar on eye level for Harry to read.
"My little Harry. I love you and always will. Master Severus."
The inscription was on the inside of the collar and Harry felt his heart constrict as he knew that the words were meant for him and him alone. No one else would see it if Harry didn't wish them to know, but he would know they were there.
"I've charmed it so that it turns invisible as soon as you put it on but you will still be able to feel it, and you will always know that it is there and what it says. You will know that I love you and care for you every minute of the day."
The lump which had formed in Harry's throat when he first read the words, had still not diminished, and Harry didn't trust himself to speak at the moment.
Turning around Harry threw his arms around Master Severus and just held him tight, knowing that his Master would know what Harry was trying to express without words.
The arms around him tightened a bit before Master Severus held him at arms length. A gentle kiss was placed on his forehead and Harry realized just how much that small gesture was becoming to mean to him.
Master Severus held his hand over the one in which Harry held the collar questioningly, and Harry nodded to his Master.
The collar was taken out of his hands and sure fingers fastened it around his neck before Master Severus conjured up a mirror.
"Think hard on the collar and you will be able to see it."
Harry did as told, and found himself looking back at him, wearing the collar proudly. Master Severus was also looking at him over his shoulder and Harry felt a shiver run through his spine as Master Severus bent down and kissed the collar lightly.
Harry smiled reassuringly at his Master when the man looked up at him, and Harry realized that it was apprehension he saw in his Master's eyes.
"Thank you Master Severus." Harry said sincerely to the reflection in the mirror, as the arms around him prevented him from turning around.
"This book is complete 'crap' compared to the one in your quarters Professor."
Harry whined as he paged through the Defence Against the Dark Arts book they were assigned for the year.
"Whining about it won't help you at all Potter, so I suggest you put it in your cart, along with all the other books and we can get them paid for."
Master Severus was beginning to sound a little impatient with Harry and so he quickly put the book in with all the other books before making his way over to the Transfiguration section and selecting the correct book for that year.
Some other books caught his attention, and Harry startled at the low growl coming from behind him.
"Sorry Mas… Professor." Harry quickly said as he realized he was once again taking up more of his Master's time.
Draco's face suddenly appeared around one of the bookcases and he looked between Harry and Professor Snape with a bewildered expression.
Harry cursed himself for his slip-up, and shot an apologetic look to his Master who was looking murderous.
Harry just hoped that he would be able to diffuse the situation before it could escalate into anything potentially incriminating.
"Hi Draco, sorry I can't stay long, but Professor Snape has a potion brewing at the castle and we have to go now. I'll talk to you at school."
The excuse was lame and he knew it but there was nothing else he could think of at the moment.
Draco gave him a frown before he acquiesced to Harry's silent plea. "Yes, we will talk when we go back to school Harry. I guarantee it."
Harry swallowed past the nervous lump that had formed and quickly followed his Master over to the pay point, before they continued with the rest of their shopping.
Master Severus didn't say anything but Harry knew that his Master was not happy with his slip-up and that Master Severus knew Draco as well, if not better, than Harry did and there was no doubt that the boy would figure it out sooner or later.
Harry just hoped that Draco would be able to keep it secret, as he didn't want to cause his Master any more problems.
End chapter 9
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