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Hidden Love	By : Mouse2212 Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 4994 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
Author Note: So�I like it, some people might but eh what are you going to do right? Can�t please everyone, besides it made me giggle just thinking about it. Also, sorry this took so long =(

Also, its like five in the morning and I've yet to get to bed so If I happened to miss any major spelling mistakes. Forgive me ^-^

Death

He wanted it. He needed it. He craved it.

What did that say about a person? Did it really make someone crazy to wish for it? To dream about it? Sometimes in life, wasn�t it justified? It had to be, otherwise he was fucked.

Remus John Lupin had found the love of his life and promptly lost it. But, what did his choice say about him as a person? She was his polar opposite, she was a killer, and worst of all she murdered his closest friend. She was the enemy and yet he�d never once stopped thinking about her.

Even when he�d been angry and wanted to hurt her, to actually do violence to the woman he loved not once in that entire time had he not thought about her. When he�d had sex with Tonks, she�d been on his mind. When he laid in bed alone, she was on his mind. When he sat at the table around all of them while they rambled on about things he�d didn�t give a hell about, she was on his mind.

And the best part of all?

She loved him

Now, if only she would talk to him. They were apparently back to not speaking. It was his own fault really. He�d gone a little stupid and she�d seen it happen. Now he had twice the trouble as before. Tonks was worse then ever and he had no way to get into contact with Bella, unless of course he wanted to court death.

Perhaps he did have a way to seek her out after all.

It had been those exact thoughts which found him in his current situation; Alone, defenseless, and far to close to people who wanted him dead. He was trying to goad her out, but so far it wasn�t working to well for him. This was why he was slowly moving closer and closer to Malfoy Manor. Sooner or later someone in that place was going to notice him and she would either take action or he was a dead man.

Her finally telling him she loved him should have made everything better. I didn�t, at all. Rather the fact that she would say it and then just leave and not return for two weeks was to him unacceptable, even if it was his own fault.
And so, for two weeks he�d dreamed of this. Her and death, today finally he�d get one. One way or another he was going to be put out of his misery.

�What the bloody hell are you doing?� Twisting around slowly, there she stood his beautiful Bellatrix.

�Bella, you came.�

�Get over here before one of them sees you.� She grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him hard towards her pulling them into a grouping of trees and effectively blocking them both from view of the Manor. �Have you lost your mind?�

�No, I�ve missed you.�

�You can�t be serious�

�Of course I am, I�ve missed you. But you wouldn�t come to me so I came to you, and it worked.�

�Are you drunk?�

�Possibly.� She leaned closer to him before pulling back and shaking her head in disgust. Wrapping her slim fingers around his wrist again she glared at him before suddenly everything went blurry, when the world finally righted itself again, he found himself standing outside his own home.

�Go inside, and go to bed Remus.�

�No. �

�What do you mean no?�

In a very un-Remus like move he leaned in, invading her personal space and smirked. �As in, I won�t do it.�

�You�re shit-faced aren�t you?�

�Again, possibly.�

The truth was, after the third day Remus realized she wasn�t going to come back anytime soon and had turned to a bottle again. Unlike last time, it wasn�t a burning rage that had made him drink, this was pure depression. So he drank and drank�and drank. He�d stopped leaving his room four days ago and he�d stopped letting people into his room two days ago. Then he drank himself dumb. It was amazing he�d made it to Malfoy Manor without killing himself in the process. But, he�d given it his best.

She glared again, which made him smile. He happened to find her temper cute. This made him snicker, like an idiot. Imagine that, Bella was �cute�. His snicker slowly snowballed into a full on drunk laugh and Bella quickly moved them inside the house to his bedroom. He fell ass first into his bed when she shoved him, but he managed to take her with him.

�Let go of me Remus, I�m leaving.�

�But you love me.�

�You�re a terrible drunk Remus you know that? At least when you�re violet you�re fun. But this? It�s pathetic is what it is. I assume in your current state of mind you think you appear adorable and I�m supposed to show you pity. I don�t and I won�t. Sober up and get your act together.�

�You told me you loved me and you left me, what was I going to do? Throw a party? I did what anyone would do. I-�

�Sulked like a child, when�s the last time you showered? Bloody hell, when�s the last time you were sober�
�Dunno�

He didn�t, he couldn�t think that clearly. But he did know he was starting to get a little irritated with her tone. Rule of thumb, don�t antagonize the drunk person. Someone drunk and fun can turn into someone drunk and douche like in seconds.

�What�s your problem anyways? We split up then Tonks and I f-�Her hand slammed down hard over his mouth silencing his next few words. Reaching up he grabbed her by the wrists and rolled them so she was now pinned beneath him. He may be drunk, but he was still stronger.

�That bothers you doesn�t it. Well tough, I�ve had a lot of alone time lately and I�ve been able to think about it. You left me remember? Not the other way around, and frankly after eleven days what the hell was I supposed to think. So, really the sex between Tonks and Me is your own fault.�

Now, he�d seen Bella angry before but the look that came across her face was something new entirely. Perhaps if he had been sober he�d have seen the danger coming, but he wasn�t and he didn�t.

�So you can stop the tantrum anytime you want. If you didn�t want me to fool around with her, you shouldn�t have cut me out. Hell, for all you know I could have slept with her again. I didn�t, for the record.� He paused for a moment and squinted down at her �You know, you�re being awfully quiet right now.�

�I�m deciding how to kill you.�

�No you�re not. But you are jealous, and now you know how it feels. Sucks don�t it Bella.�

He was acting out of character when around her again, without even realizing it she�d gotten under his skin and made him react in ways he normally never would. Part of it was what she did to him and part of it was the mass amounts of liquor in his body, but slowly he leaned down and put his mouth beside her ear. �You hate the idea of her and me don�t you? Her legs wrapped around my waist, her-�

�I love him more then I love you.�

The words died in his throat, in fact everything inside him died. For about three seconds, then it was resurrected in a glorious drunken rage. �What did you just say?�

�I love him, more then I love you. Sucks don�t it Remus?� No words could get past his fury, so intense was it, that it destroyed all coherent thought in his head. All he could hear was the words over and over in his head. It was her finally affirming what he always thought to be true. Then he felt the hard smack of her hand against his face. He blinked several times, only to feel her hand slam into his face again and again. Finally he grabbed her arms and shoved them up above her head pinning them there with one hand the other moved beside her head.

�Didn�t like that so much did you Remus, Why don�t you tell me a little more about Tonks and you and we�ll see what other fun things I can think up about my Dark Lord and I.�

They just stared at each other in silence and then everything was moving at once. He released her hands and shoved one hand down between them and up her skirts, skimming his fingers over her. Her hands found their way into his hair and tangled in it pulling his face close to hers.

It had been almost a month since the last time they�d had sex. That desperate night when he�d almost lost himself. He�d been drunk then to, but it had been depression the fueled that time together. This was all hate and rage.

And love.

It was always love.

Tragic and pathetic, but love none the less.

He shoved her skirts up, to impatient to bother with undressing them. She didn�t seem to mind as her legs went around his waist pulling him impossibly closer. With his pants around his knees he braced one hand on the bed and the other on her hip and pushed in hard. Her hands moved everywhere on him; Tracing along scars and over his face. Like she was trying to remember everything, as if she was worried she might have forgotten something. For his part, it was wild and it was reckless. His movements were rough pushing himself to the limit. Trying to lose himself in her again. With each moan that left her mouth his movements became more erratic, until her hands found his face and framed it as she forced him to look her in the face.

No words this time, only the sound of their bodies coming together; her moans and his mumbled curses as he pushed harder and harder. She started to meet him thrust for thrust. Everything he pushed in she lifted her hips to meet him, never once allowing him to break eye contact. Their rolls had suddenly be reversed, she was trying to teach him something, trying to make him understand something and then she broke so beautiful beneath him. Her body arched in the way he�d always remembered, but he couldn�t stop.

His hand again, trailing down her neck and lighting tracing over her chest. As his finger circled her nipple he watched it pebble under the shirt. Leaning down he kept his eyes on her as he ran his tongue over it before locking his mouth over it and sucking hard. Her fingers slid back to his hair pushing him closer as he continued to pump into her body. The hand on her slid slowly down between their bodies and he started to stroke her in time to his movements. He felt her jerk, but stopped none of the three motions.

For once he wanted all of her. He didn�t want her to hold anything back. This time when she broke, her entire body convulsed and she said the words that meant the most to him, and he followed after her only seconds later.
He practically fell on top of her and after a moment she nudged him off of him and rolled on her side, he quickly moved to wrap himself around her, worried that she might leave. �I�m not going anywhere�

�I know.�

�I love you.�

�I know that too, I�m going to fall asleep now, not because I don�t love you back because I do. But I�m really tired�and still a bit drunk.�

�I know that as well.�

The words weren�t poetry by any means, and if anyone else had heard that last bit of conversation, hell any of their conversation they�d have viewed it as childish and most notably not romantic. But for them, it was their first true honest exchange of feelings. No running afterward, just the words, even if poorly articulated.

They were finally entering a mature relationship. It really didn�t matter that one of them was drunk enough for the both of them. Because it made him loosen up, it made him take a chance and it paid off. Now, he just needed to figure out a way to tell his friends and not wind up dead.

Oh, and another rule to live by? Always, and I mean always use a silencing charm you never known when the last person you want in the world to listen, is in fact doing just that. One step forward in the relationship and one giant step closer to Tonks� meltdown.

8

9

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Hidden Love