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One More Time	By : roxierose13 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Hermione/Blaise Views: 27131 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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*

Hermione turned over in the dim light leaking through her curtained window. She groaned softly. She didn�t want to get up. Keeping her eyes closed, she rolled over, burying her face in her pillow.

She lay there for a few seconds, wishing it wasn�t morning. She wasn�t looking forward to facing Harry and trying to explain what had happened the night before. She had left with a weak excuse and though Harry could be thick at times, he wasn�t completely stupid.

With a sigh into her pillow, she rolled back over, staring at the ceiling. She had to get up and go to work. It was inevitable.

With a resigned sigh, she turned over to her other side. It was empty. She paused, staring at the spot where she knew someone should be. The pillow was depressed and the covers mussed.

�Blaise?� she asked, pushing herself halfway up. She glanced around her room, seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

There were no shoes on the ground, no men�s clothes anywhere, nothing. It was perfectly in order as it always was. No book was out of place.

Pushing herself completely up, she frowned. �Blaise?� she called. There was no answer.

She slid out of the bed, noticing that she was still naked, Grabbing a bathrobe, she quickly pulled it on and put on her slippers. Moving carefully, she plodded out to the living room. Here, there was no sign of anything out of the ordinary either except her shoes that were lying in a jumbled pile by the couch. She remembered taking them off there the night before.

Peering around the room, she surmised that Blaise wasn�t there. Going into the kitchen, she saw nothing out of the ordinary. She frowned, walking around the counter, looking for some kind of note.

There was none. In fact, there was no trace that Blaise had been there at all. She could remember back when they had first started dating he used to disappear like this in the morning.

Hermione sighed and stopped looking, placing her hand on the counter. She didn�t know what she had expected of last night, but she had hoped he wouldn�t just bail.

She stood at the counter, feeling herself crumble.

Stop, she told herself. You�ve been far too emotional lately. You have to focus and be calm and rational. It�s the only way to get through this in one piece. Falling to pieces every time something goes wrong will not help.

With that thought, she took a long, calming breath and closed her eyes for a second. When she opened them, she looked around herself, knowing she would have to continue on her own.

She prepared for work, trying not to think about Blaise. Her life was complicated enough and last night hadn�t helped anything.

She didn�t know what had come over her. One moment, she was trying to figure out if keeping this baby was the right decision and the next she was throwing herself at the man who�d been the cause of it all.

She had no feelings for Blaise anymore, she thought. She�d made the mistake of letting him back into her life but that hadn�t changed how she felt about him. Their breakup had been hard on her. But in the end, she�d let go of it all, right?

She tried not to dwell on her past feelings for Blaise. They only tended to make her sad. There had always been something special about Blaise. They�d only dated for a few months, but Hermione had been almost certain during those months that he was the one. Or, he was until he�d broken her heart.

Now, she didn�t want to think about it. No, she couldn�t. Thinking about what she had wanted so long ago and how impossible it all seemed now was not the right thing to do. She needed to focus on the future, not the past.

Mentally preparing herself, Hermione checked herself in the mirror and sighed before Apparating to work.

***

A week passed and there was no word from Blaise. Hermione distracted herself with work and research. She didn�t want to think why he hadn�t contacted her, why he was avoiding her, why she hadn�t seen him since they had�

He was busy. That�s what she told herself. He wasn�t ignoring her. He had a demanding job and social life. She thought that maybe his mother had found another debutant for him to play with. Perhaps that was the reason for his lack of communication.

She didn�t want to think about it. It wasn�t important. She could do this without him.

She made up a diet from the books she�d read and the pamphlets the Healer had given her. She bought organic fruits and vegetables, making sure to eat a balanced diet with all the vitamins a baby would need.

She started exercising, keeping in good shape so the baby would be healthier. She listened to classical music like Mozart, Beethoven, and Tchaikovsky. She found that it was not only good for the baby, it also seemed to calm her down. Listening to the symphonies of Mozart made her feel relaxed and less stressed, which was a very important thing considering the father of her child hadn�t contacted her in over a week.

The second week of no contact from Blaise came and went. By now, Hermione was becoming concerned. Surely just sleeping with him couldn�t have caused this distance. Maybe something had happened to him. There had been nothing in the Prophet.

So Hermione had written to him. She sent him an owl two Thursdays after their last meeting. It was merely an inquiry of where he�d been, something a friend would write.

She was relieved when she got an Owl back the next day, but was disappointed when it only said he was busy and he would contact her when he could. At least she knew he was alright. That was her only consolation.

Was he really avoiding her so much? Had she done something to drive him away? She had no idea what it could have been.

She was nearly three months into her pregnancy now and she was beginning to see clear signs. The other day, she�d had an incredibly craving for pears and pickles and it was only satisfied when she snuck out of her office early for a sort of �pick-me-up� at the local fruit and vegetable vendor.

As she had stuffed her face with pears, she realized she�d just had a craving, an odd one at that. But then, she supposed, they were called cravings because you couldn�t control them. She just hoped next time it was something a little less messy.

Harry had come around the week after their dinner, enquiring after her health. She�d lied and said she was fine. She wasn�t sure if Harry believed her, but she couldn�t do much more. It was still far too early to reveal everything. If she did, Harry would be furious and potentially go after Blaise. She couldn�t have him killing anyone.

She dreaded the thought of telling her parents. Blaise had met them once, and only once. He�d made a decent impression, but had come off slightly cold. That had been near the end of the relationship as he had pulled further and further away from her.

Her parents didn�t think very highly of him and wouldn�t be likely to if they found out their perfect daughter was pregnant by him. The longer Hermione could shield them from that pain of crashing their vision of their daughter, the better.

She wanted to tell someone, but could think of no one. Anyone she might tell would either be angry at Blaise, disappointed in her, or likely to tell someone else. She didn�t really have that many people she could trust and all those she did would have some opinion about it, whether good or bad.

The second week passed without a word from Blaise and Hermione began to wonder if she would ever hear from him again. He had said he wanted to be involved. He�d told her he would be there. She wasn�t sure if she believed him anymore.

Harry seemed to sense her mood shift in the past few weeks and invited her to a barbeque he was putting on the next week, seeing as the July weather was very nice and it would be his birthday soon. In light of Blaise�s disappearance, she accepted, hoping to get her mind off of what he may or may not be doing.

***

Hermione dressed for Harry�s party carefully. She wasn�t showing yet but wanted to be extra careful, just in case. She knew it wouldn�t be long before she was. Then it would be even more difficult to hide.

She wore a flowery party dress that had a high waist, hiding her stomach and anything that may or may not be showing. Her hair was pulled back into a loose bun and she dabbed a bit of red lipstick on her lips in preparation.

Glancing at her reflection, she guessed she was as ready as she�d ever be to face everyone. It would be the first time since getting pregnant that she would be in a large group of people. She knew she would be around happy couples, happy families, children, all that. She would have to tough it out this time, no more faking sick and leaving, although lately she�d been getting sick in the mornings. She figured it was morning sickness, which didn�t make her feel any better.

Giving herself a shake, Hermione took a breath. She had to be ready to make a good impression. If anyone thought she wasn�t feeling well, she would be in for some awkward questions.

Brushing back a stray hair, Hermione smiled briefly at the mirror, who told her she looked very pretty. With a sigh, she Apparated to Harry�s house, knocking on the door.

It was thrown open moments later by a happy Harry, who ushered her inside and to the backyard.

�Hermione�s here!� he announced as they went outside.

There was a great hello from many people and Hermione smiled. All the Weasley�s were there; Ginny with her boyfriend John, Fred with his wife Katie and their twins, Karen and Shain, George, Charlie, Bill and Fleur and their daughter, Veronique. The only person missing was Percy, which wasn�t surprising.

Ron was standing with Mandy, his hand on her back as he chatted with some other friends. He sent Hermione a smile as she entered, which she returned, quickly turning her gaze from them. Mrs. Weasley hurried over to her when she arrived, pulling her into a hug.

�Hermione, my dear, you look wonderful,� Mrs. Weasley said, pulling back.

Hermione blushed slightly. �Thank you, as do you.�

�Oh, no need to flatter,� Mrs. Weasley laughed. She turned around, looking for someone. �Where is Arthur? I�m sure he�d like to say hello.�

�That�s alright,� Hermione said politely. �I�m sure I�ll see him later.�

Mrs. Weasley shrugged. �He�s probably off inspecting the gill, or whatever that thing they�re using to cook is.� She rolled her eyes. �So, Hermione, how�ve you been, dear? Harry tells me you�re working hard.�

�Oh, yes,� Hermione said, avoiding her eyes. �Very hard.�

�Well, don�t work too hard. I�m always telling Arthur. That Ministry works everyone too hard. You never have a moment�s rest in that place.�

Hermione smiled but didn�t respond. She felt bad lying to Mrs. Weasley when she was always so nice.

�Oh, no,� Mrs. Weasley sighed. �He�s holding some metal thing. Arthur!� She left Hermione to go after her husband. Hermione decided it would be better not to mention that it was only a salad toss.

Instead, she turned and wandered over to the table where there was food spread out, kind of like a potluck. Picking up a carrot, she munched on it thoughtfully.

Looking around the yard, she thought how lucky she was to have people like the Weasleys and her friends in her life. She finished her carrot and reached for another one as she heard a voice to her right.

�Karen! What did mummy say about Transfiguring snakes?�

Katie was reprimanding her four-year old daughter, who was holding what looked like Fred�s wand and pointing at a snake who ironically seemed to have developed a curtain of greasy hair and hook nose.

Katie sighed as she stood up and her daughter ran away, going to play with her sister. Hermione saw Katie put Fred�s wand in her pocket and smile as she watched her daughter.

�Are they a handful?� Hermione asked and Katie glanced over.

�Yes, and Fred doesn�t help,� she replied. �Seems he�s already teaching them the evils of Potions.�

Hermione chuckled as she watched the snake trying to slither away, but having troubles due to its impaired vision. She glanced at the two girls as they played together and got a twist in her gut.

�Was it hard, at first?� she asked Katie.

�Yeah,� Katie said, �but it got easier. I think maybe it seemed harder than it should have been because they�re twins. At the rate they�re going, they�ll be the next Fred and George to grace Hogwarts.�

�I guess Fred will be proud, then,� Hermione said, smiling.

Katie smiled too, glancing fondly at her husband, who was kneeling next to his daughters, presumably showing them something. �He is. And he does help, just not when it comes to pranks.�

They watched the little girls scream and run away as Fred showed them something, but they came running back seconds later, giggling happily.

�You�re lucky, Katie,� Hermione said, sighing.

Katie glanced at her, her expression questioning. �What do you mean?�

�You�ve got Fred and two wonderful daughters.�

Katie paused, then smiled sadly at Hermione. �Don�t worry. There�s someone out there for you too. Who knows, maybe soon that�ll be your kid.�

Hermione laughed quietly and muttered, �Maybe sooner than you think,� but Katie didn�t hear.

�Oh,� Katie said, watching as Shain fell down. �Looks like I have to do some damage control. It was nice talking to you.�

�Yeah,� Hermione agreed quietly, watching Katie go to her daughter who was crying on the ground.

Turning away from the sight, Hermione watched the rest of the Weasley family. Ron and Mandy looked as happy as ever and as she turned, the ring on Mandy�s finger sparkled in the sun. Hermione bit her lip and turned to the table behind her, grabbing a bottled water.

She moved back into the crowd, greeting people and attempting to hold normal conversations. She managed most of the small talk until she�d said hello to everyone present.

Harry soon announced the food was ready and everyone clambered for a plate. Hermione hung back, waiting a bit. As the wind shifted, she could smell the whiff of barbeque sauce. The smell gave her an immediate headache and she could feel her stomach churning.

Quickly, she moved to the side, hoping no one would notice. She felt a bit feint but was determined not to let it affect anyone. Taking a breath, she moved again, out of the wind�s direction and the headache lessened. Wiping her forehead, she sighed. That had been close.

When everyone had gotten their food, Hermione grabbed a plate and filled it with some food, not really intending to eat any of it. She munched on carrots and strawberries while everyone around her talked and laughed. She just didn�t feel a part of it anymore. She was separate from everyone else.

She listened with a growing feeling of sadness as they all told stories. Fred and Katie�s stories about their kids got many laughs from everyone, except Hermione. She was envious, envious of their life. She wanted to be married with a child whom she could tell amusing anecdotes about.

Instead, she was hiding a pregnancy from her closest friends. Half an hour later, as the afternoon dwindled, many people were still chatting happily. Hermione was standing to the side, thinking about everything that had happened.

She was surprised as Padma popped up beside where she stood, leaning against the buffet table.

�Enjoying yourself?� she asked. �I was so glad when Harry said you�d agreed to come. I love your dress, by the way.�

�Oh, thank you,� Hermione said, taking a sip of her water. �Yes, I thought since it was Harry�s birthday and all, or will be soon, it would be nice to see everyone.�

Padma paused, looking at Hermione. �You didn�t look well earlier.�

�Didn�t I?� Hermione asked, hating that Padma was so observant.

�Well, you looked a little sick,� Padma said. �You�re not, right? I mean, Harry would be devastated if you had some kind of sickness.�

�No, I�m not,� Hermione said, horrified that she would even think that, but given all the facts, it might seem that way to someone who didn�t know the awful truth. �I�ve just been��

�Working,� Padma finished the sentence. �Yes, I know. You�ve been doing that a lot. I know you�re a perfectionist, but it isn�t usually this bad.�

�Bad?� Hermione repeated.

Padma shrugged, looking away from Hermione and back at the crowd gathered in the yard. �I just mean you�ve been a little M.I.A lately. Harry and Ron have been getting concerned.�

�Oh,� Hermione said, silently berating herself for letting them know anything was wrong. She should be able to act better. �I don�t want them to worry. Nothing�s going on. I�m perfectly fine.�

Padma was silent for a moment. �Well, good. So you�re not going to cancel your lunch in two weeks?�

�Of course not,� Hermione said, hoping she was telling the truth. �I love having lunch with them. It�s like old times.�

Padma nodded. �Okay, in that case, I�m glad you could come. It�s good to know things are alright.� After a brief hug, Padma left her standing by the table, hating herself. Lying had never been one of her strong suits, especially lying to people as nice as Padma.

The rest of the afternoon passed pleasantly enough. Harry opened his presents, looking oddly surprised at Hermione�s gift, a singing alarm clock.

�Uh, thanks, Hermione,� he said, looking perplexed.

Hermione just laughed to herself. Most of the gifts she got Harry and Ron these days were simply to see how crazy and odd and unpractical they could be before they finally said something. So far, she�d given Ron a toaster that imprinted Winnie the Pooh�s face on the toast, knowing full well that Ron had never used a toaster in his life.

She enjoyed seeing their confusion and their attempts to look pleased, when she knew they didn�t understand at all. She had figured since they never seemed to like her gifts, she might as well go all out.

As the afternoon came to a close, the party slowly disbanded, everyone saying their goodbyes to Harry and Padma. Hermione hugged Harry, promising she�d see more of him.

Just before she Apparated back to her flat, she saw Harry kissing Padma happily under the twilight sky. The smile she�d had on her face before fell slowly and she turned away, leaving in a crack.

As she pushed open the door of her flat, she sighed. She didn�t know how many more �family gatherings� she could go to without going crazy. She closed the door slowly behind her and set down her purse. Sinking down in the armchair, she set her chin in her hands that were propped up on her knees and sighed.

Looking out the large window in front of her, watching the darkening sky, she wondered where Blaise was and if he was ever coming back.

~~**~~

A/N: Don't kill me? It shall be understood eventually...

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One More Time