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The Potions Master's Baby	By : soldiersgirl0709 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 63467 -:- Recommendations : 8 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Chapter Nine: Snape�s Got A�GirlfriendPart 2: Richie

�You left Professor Snape alone with Richie!� Ginny whispered harshly as she watched Hermione snuggling James in her arms and raining kisses all over the top of his head. �He�ll Avada him in the first minute!�

�I left Harry with them to referee.� Hermione said between little kisses to the sleeping baby.

�What? Harry can�t control Richie, no one can! The man is sadism personified! I can only imagine what he is putting the Professor through!� Ginny said as she took her sleeping child from her friend. Hermione was reluctant to let him go, she loved the sweet baby smell of his skin and the soft warmth of his tiny body against her chest.

�Oh, he isn�t that bad!� Hermione laughed, watching as Ginny laid the baby in the cot and raised the side rail. She grabbed the baby monitor off of the bureau and the two witches slipped out of the nursery and headed downstairs. �Richie is�well he�s Richie, it�s why we love him so much.�

�Yes, but Richie is also in love with you and knowing you are pregnant by Snape is going to have him behaving worse than usual.� Ginny said laughing.

�He isn�t in love with me, it isn�t like that.� Hermione said frowning as they descended the stairs and headed to the kitchen.

�It isn�t like that for you, but it is like that for Richie.� Ginny said softly as they entered the kitchen. �Now, you are going to sit down and tell me just why you brought Severus Snape to dinner.�

Hermione slid onto a stool at the kitchen counter and rested her elbows on the worktop as she watched Ginny prepare supper.

�We are sort of seeing each other.� Ginny whirled around with a large knife clutched in her fist staring at Hermione as if she had gone mad.

�Did you just say you were seeing each other?� Ginny asked, her voice high and shrill in her shock.

�Yes, we are seeing each other.� Hermione was smiling, people�s reactions were quite fun to watch when they heard the news.

�As friends?� Ginny croaked hopefully.

�I suppose we are friends�.the kind who spend hours snogging on the sofa and go on dates. Though we haven�t actually gone on a real date, we are always busy with school, but we plan on going on dates.� She laughed as Ginny laid the knife carefully on the worktop.

�I don�t know what to say.� Ginny looked a bit dazed for a moment and then that familiar, sly grin began to spread. �Sooooo�.you are getting frisky with Snape then?�

�Not too frisky�yet.� She answered. �Not from lack of trying, believe me, but he is a rather old fashioned man. He said he wanted to court me.�

�Court you? Oh, that is very sweet.� Ginny sighed. �I can�t believe it; you are getting busy with a teacher!�

�It isn�t like I am a student! I am also a teacher and a grown woman now!� Hermione laughed.

�But it�s Snape! And he�s so�mature and�it�s Snape!� Ginny began to giggle like a schoolgirl and bounce up and down excitedly. �I want details!�

�There are no details you perverted witch! We haven�t done anything other than kiss.� Hermione couldn�t help but be amused. �And by calling him mature are you saying he�s old?�

�Well he is what�.twenty years older than you?�

�Roughly, but it doesn�t really matter to me if I am honest. I like spending time with him and�.� A soft smile and light flush drifted over her face.

�And what?� Ginny asked, stunned to see Hermione�s dreamy expression.

�He kisses like a dream come true.�

~@~

Severus had never been to such a strange dinner in his entire life. Though the Potter�s had a formal dining room everyone crowded around a small table in their kitchen. The dinner was delicious, roast beef and potatoes with a salad and chocolate cake for dessert; the young Mrs. Potter had obviously been taught well by her mother. The conversation however, was like nothing Severus had ever experienced, mostly because of the portly little man fawning all over Hermione.

�Did you know, my rose, that a whale penis is called a dork?� He asked, slipping an arm around her shoulders.

�No, I can�t say that I did.� Hermione laughed.

�Wait, you call me a dork all the time, Mione. Are you saying I�m a big prick?� Harry asked, taking another drink of his ale. �Or are you simply complimenting my manliness?�

�Oh, darling, you are quite manly but a whale you are not.� Ginny taunted.

�That�s not what you said earlier.� Harry waggled his brows and winked at his slightly blushing wife.

�Did you know that a female bedbug has no vaginal opening? The male has to actually drill one into her to mate.� Richie said, grinning like a madman.

�Is that true?� Hermione asked.

�It�s the Gospel, I swear it.� Richie said, crossing his heart.

�The Gospel according to St. Richie the Dumbass.� Harrry snorted. �What else have you got?�

�The male tick doesn't have a penis. Instead, he uses his nose to sniff out the female�s vagina. Once he's made it large enough by poking his nose around, he turns round and deposits his semen. To finish the job off, he then turns round again and pushes the semen inside with his trusty nose.� Richie took a drink to smother his grin. �Apparently a large nose can be quite useful during sex.�

Everyone at the table turned to look at Severus. He was uncomfortable beneath their scrutiny because he knew what they were thinking, knew that if he were to take a peek he would find their minds filled with various pornographic images involving himself and his prominent nose.

�None of you will ever know.� He said darkly, he turned his gaze on Hermione. �You are the exception.�

Harry nearly choked to death on his beer when he heard that comment. He wasn�t expecting it. He had been covertly watching the Potions Master as Richie was�well he was simply being himself. They were all too good of friends to be offended by the strange conversation; it wasn�t anything out of the ordinary for them. However, Harry was pretty sure that Severus Snape was not accustomed to such open and bald conversation.

�Male fruit bats have the highest rate of homosexuality in the animal kingdom.� Richie said, interrupting the rather intense gaze between Hermione and Severus. �Not a fan of bats. They creep me out.� He shuddered, staring straight at Severus.

�In Chester, England, you can only legally shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.� Severus said, adding his own bit of useless information. �You wouldn�t happen to be Welsh would you?�

It got very quiet in the room for a moment, no one knew quite what to say. Had Severus just expressed an intent to legally shoot Richie? The silence was deafening for a moment and then suddenly the rich bark of Richie�s unique laughter was echoing off of the walls.

�Oh god! That�s�you are a pistol, Snape!� Richie laughed, wiping his eyes. �Of course you would immediately go to the dark side.�

�Yes, well darkness and I are old friends.� Severus said tightly as he leaned back in his chair and endured another hour of useless trivia and idiotic conversation.

~@~

It was well after dark when Hermione and Severus finally said goodbye. He stood by and watched as she and Harry embraced each other with tender affection. They were bonded in a way that few would ever know or understand fully and their closeness was something he found easy to accept. Somehow he knew that if something were ever to happen to him, Potter would see to his child and Hermione as well.

Richie Dumont�s goodbye was another story. The wizard didn�t just embrace her, he wrapped himself completely around her and squeezed like some sort of python, grunting and shaking her back and forth as she laughed. He then had the audacity to dip her back over his arm and smack a loud, enthusiastic kiss on her smiling lips. Severus damn near stupefied him.

�Don�t go so long without being in touch.� Hermione pouted at Richie.

�I promise. Now that I know you are knocked up I shall be coming by often to admire the growth of your breasts�I mean belly.� Richie winked at her. �It should also be interesting to watch you with him.�

�Why do you say that?� Hermione asked.

�He is what they mean by tall, dark and handsome. He towers over nearly everyone and I�m sure that in the dark he is quite handsome.� He grunted when Hermione�s elbow jabbed into his soft belly. Severus took great joy in watching that.

They apparated to a point just outside the school grounds and walked arm in arm along the footpath, taking their time and enjoying the way the moon reflected off of the lake.

�Did you have a nice evening?� She asked him.

�It was interesting. How exactly did you become acquainted with Richie Dumont? � He asked, thinking how ridiculous that name was. Why not use Richard? It sounded far more sophisticated.

�He owns a book shop. A chain of them actually, Dumont�s Rare Books.� She saw the expression of incredulity that crossed his features.

�They are the only chain with a license to distribute dark texts!� Severus couldn�t believe that the great clown of a man would own such a well known and successful business.

�Yes, Richie is an expert in the dark arts.� Hermione said. �He is also a volunteer Auror.�

�That buffoon?� Severus couldn�t believe it.

�His personality works in his favor. No one suspects him. I watched him take down six rogue death eaters in the middle of a park, he was brilliant.� She smiled. �He joined us for a celebration after. It was a big deal to Harry and The Magical Law Enforcement department. We all became easy friends. After Ron died he lent me his cottage in Champagne for a time. He was the first man I tried dating after Ron but we never clicked.�

�You mean you never clicked. He is in love with you.� Severus scoffed.

�No, he isn�t. I�m too serious for Richie and he isn�t serious enough for me. I need a man with some stability, who knows what it means to just stand still. Richie never stops and he is never silent. I need silence sometimes. So much can be said with simple silence.� She said softly as they neared the castle.

�Yes it can.� He agreed. The castle wards recognized the Professors and the doors swung open and allowed them inside. Severus walked her up the stairs with a firm grip on her lest the changing stair cases cause her to fall. �Do you need to check your house?�

�No, Minerva handled bed checks.� She said, bypassing the portrait of the fat lady and making her way down the corridor that led to her rooms. �Would you like to come inside?�

�It is late. I should get back; I have escort detail into Hogsmeade tomorrow.� He said.

�So do I�you could stay��

�Do not say it, Hermione. If you say it then I will have to seriously consider it, and if I begin to think about it I will take you up on the offer and we will move this relationship too quickly.� He said quietly.

�Will you kiss me goodnight?� She asked. Severus slowly removed his gloves and tucked them into his pocket before sliding his warm hands along the sides of her throat. He lowered his head and lightly nuzzled her cheek, her jaw and the spot just below her ear with his nose before brushing it back and forth against hers. His slightly parted lips touched hers gently, their breaths mingling as their mouths caressed.

Slowly, softly, he traversed her mouth, his tongue dancing along her bottom lip, tracing the delicate bow of the upper one, licking lightly at the corners of her mouth before slipping inside. She purred in his arms, her hands sliding up his back to clutch at his cloak as she curled her leg around his, the heel of her shoe pressing into his calf.

He slipped his hands beneath her cloak, letting them caress the sweet curve of her waist and hip as he continued to kiss her. He eased off of the kiss slowly, pressing light, tender pecks to her lips, chin and cheekbones as he withdrew from her.

�Stay.� She whispered.

�Goodnight, Hermione.� He said and with one last lingering kiss he turned and walked away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Alright, I know�Richie is annoying LMAO�.he is actually based on my newest celebrity crush�.I would so love to hear your guesses because I have had all of my friends tear the mickey out of me for this one!!! Especially the brits�.VIC!

Angelbaby � you will get your interactions with the baby�..there are about 5 chapters of post baby life�..

Gertie - so glad to inspire dancing�.I got excited when the Remus muse bit (no pun intended) since she had been rather dry on the wolfie front�.maybe it�s the Halloween spirit or something��

Byrony - a sure way to get me to inspired is to dose me with chocolate. =)

Cliobella - thank you for that!!

Belle4life � I have seen ALL of his movies, even the bit parts like playing Tibault(sp?) in Romeo and Juliet. I fell in love with Col Brandon though�.he makes me shiver which earns me lots of ribbing for having a crush on a senior citizen�..

Mariteri - oh Richie is all about stirring up trouble

LadyJMarie � last winter I wore gloves with Disney princesses on them. My mom bought me some grown up gloves and the fingers were 2 inches too long��

And thanks to everyone who confirmed Hooch�s name!!! I went with the info on the lexicon because it was the most reliable source. SO thanks again!!!!! Now�.off to parent teacher conference for my son!!!!!

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The Potions Master's Baby