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Promises of Forever	By : Ravenheart Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/James Views: 18939 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from this story and no copyright infringement is intended

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
A/N: This chapter deals with
postpartum depression. If you know of someone, anyone experiencing
the 'baby-blues' for over 2 weeks, I urge you to encourage them to
seek help, PPD is normal, and a mother shouldn't feel guilty for
being depressed instead of happy. And remember that every one has a
different reaction, while Lily's reaction is somewhat extreme, that's
how I figured she would deal with it. Such a sober chapter for after
Christmas...

Tittle: Promises
of forever

Chapter: 09 - Depression

Pairing: James
Potter & Severus Snape

Summary: James
survived that fated Halloween night, now with an infant by his side
he has to face adulthood and a world that demands his son. Thank
goodness he has Severus Snape on his side.

Warning:
Character Death, OOCness, cuteness, AU, Harry's 3 months old instead
of 15 months. Manipulative!Dumbledore, Evil!Tom Riddle

Disclaimer: This
is a work of fiction, written to win the NaNoWriMo challenge. No
money is being made from this and no copyright infringement is
intended.

Previously:“Of
course he didn't! I'm getting paid to watch over the boy who lived
and his father. Orders from Crouch you know.” He winked at
James.

Depression and actions

“I see... so I'm
your bread-making machine now am I?” the auror grinned, sitting
on the couch as Frank went out to get Neville from his wife.

Some time later he came
back with a baby, his hair a honey colour and eyes the same shade of
brown as Frank's. Suddenly James could only snort at the absurdity of
their placement.

“We must look
like a bunch of teen girls fawning over babies.” he chuckled,
putting the baby on the couch and motioning for Frank to do the same,
watching as both Harry and Neville studied each other before Harry
rolled up on his stomach. James sat on the floor, right beside Frank,
as they watched the babies, Harry tried to roll on his back again,
only to give up a moment later and pout.

James paused his
musings briefly to wonder if it was possible to takes photos inside a
pensive before Frank interrupted.

“This deal with
Snape... why would you trust him to keep his word?” Frank
inquired, tickling baby feet as he stared at James.

“Well... what got
me thinking was that he was a spy for the Order to begin with, and-”

“Wait... wait,
how do you know he was the Order's spy?”

James had the grace to
look ashamed for a second before he avoided Frank's eyes, staring as
Neville started to babble and Harry stuck his fist in his mouth,
settling to go to sleep again.

“He sent Lily a
letter... I only showed it to her about a week before Halloween,
thought she needed some cheering up. It did cheer her up, but she
started making plans to talk to him again, now that he had seen the
'light'.”

And he hadn't believed
her, not until he had seen the way Snape handled his son. And he told
Frank so.

“Thought it was
impossible for a Death Eater to be kind, I thought it beyond them you
see. But that night when I saw him with Harry... drove Lily's point
right into my skull.” he chuckled, without much humour behind
it.

“What night?”

“Lily's funeral.
He took Harry from me while he was crying. I think he was more
surprised that he did it than I was!”

Frank just chuckled,
trying to imagine the scene.

“So, when did you
receive the letter?”

“About a month
ago, it just... I kept looking at it and I kept thinking... thinking
how he might try to take my wife away from me. But seeing Lily like
that...”

“She had been a
bit depressed, right?”

James was about to
answer when Alice walked into the room, her figure a bit on the plump
side, never having lost the weight of pregnancy. James thought she
was beautiful like that, like a real woman instead of the sticks he
saw in the muggle world sometimes.

“James!”
Alice cried, clapping her hands together in enthusiasm. “How
wonderful to see you! And you brought Harry!” he eyes sparkled
with happiness, bending to pick up her own son.

“What a cute
child he is...” she murmured eyes going straight to Harry's
scare before taking in the rest of the infant.

James saw the action,
which immediately caused him to narrow his eyes. No one would treat
Harry like a piece of meat or a special prize, no one... not if he
had anything to say about it. And he did... plenty!

Taking a deep breath he
gave Alice a mild smile, before inquiring for a playpen to put his
boy into, but she just shushed him, telling him the crib was big
enough and that the boys could share.

“If you're
sure...”

“I am, don't
worry... they barely move as it is.” She grinned, taking first
her son and then coming back for Harry, as she stopped on the
doorway, she saw James conjuring a bottle and filling it with milk,
putting a preserving charm on it.

“Where did that
come from?” She asked, grinning.

“It's a spell I
learned to feed Harry, only thing the kitty took a liking to.”

“Kitty?”
Alice inquired with an amused smiled as Frank hid his head on his
hands, the tips of his ears going pink.

“Ah well... we
had this cat for a while... and Harry's actions seem pretty similar
to his, but we can't call him a cat, he's too little.” He
winked at her before rolling the baby over and tickling his stomach.

With a very amused
laugh, Alice pointed out that Frank called Neville their little
puppy, causing the auror's pink ears to turn a dark shade of red, and
a mumble to come from the area around his head.

“What was that
love?”

“Not pup, I call
him lion cub...” Came the voice from somewhere near the
vicinity of his mouth, Alice throwing a knowing wink at James.

“It's the hair.”

James could only laugh
as Alice took Harry to Neville's room. Frank threw him a mildly
annoyed look before decidedly looking away, it was some time before
they got back on track, James muttering about how they sounded like
women with their children. And it was hours later that Frank brought
back Lily into discussion.

“She... wasn't
feeling well was she?” He asked after James snapped at him to
ask whatever he had been thinking already.

“No, she
wasn't... We had seen a healer about it and they told us, well, me,
that she was experiencing postpartum depression.” Still sitting
on the floor, like a couple of teenagers, James smiled sadly at
Frank, picking imaginary lint from his robes. “Don't tell this
to Alice but... the number of times I caught Lily either placing or
taking off a sleeping or silencing spell on Harry would be impossible
to count with just two hands.” he grimaced.

Truthfully, he felt
like a failure when it came to Lily. He had been unable to help her.
The war had been going on and the constant fear of the Dark Lord over
their heads had Lily in constant paranoia.

“She was...
unable to sleep, and it was rare that I got a sleeping or calming
draught inside her. She was constantly irritated, snapping at me or
at Harry. It didn't help that our boy was starting to pull away from
her.”

“Pull away?”

“He was colic
like... all the time in the first month or so, and Lily had no
patience for it, she would either place a silencing spell on him or
just walk away. In that first month I was home, so it was just fine,
I'd pick him up and calm him down. But by his second month...”

“Things got worse
didn't they?”

“You have no
idea...” James muttered, unwilling to explain, but getting
himself lost in a memory all the same.

“Lily, honey,
where are you?”

“With Harry.”
Came the calm response from above.

With his sixty sense
warning him that something was very, very wrong, James ran upstairs,
coming to a stop as he saw the scene. Lily was sitting on the floor,
rocking back and forth with a lost look on her face, while Harry was
silently screaming his head off, the smell of urine all over the
place.

“I can't do it
James! I'm not good enough for this, I keep hurting him all the time,
he can't even stand my touch anymore!” she cried, her body
trembling with dry sobs as she carded her hands through her hair and
yanked.

Saying a silent
prayer to whatever higher being was listening to them, and asking for
forgiveness for leaving an infant and taking care of his wife first,
he gathered Lily in his arms, bringing her to their room.

“Wanna tell me
what happened?” He asked gently, whipping her tears away.

“He started to
cry, colicky as usual, and I went to pick him up, bounce him a bit
like you do.” And she started to shake ever more, crying with
her hands over her ears as if to stop the noise of crying.

“But he
wouldn't stop, he just got louder and louder and... I just couldn't
take it anymore!” she screamed, and the only thing James could
do was hug her and coax her to take a mild calming draught and a
sleeping potion.

After that he went
to see Harry, still screaming at the top of his lungs. That was
another time of firsts for them, first time he bathed Harry and first
time they bathed together truth be told. The baby had been cold, a
rash starting to form on his bottom. He had soothed him the best he
could before heading to the living room and looking up that book
spell for new parents, looking for a lotion spell for their boy's
bottom.

Feeling the
restlessness of the baby he started to read the book to him on a
whim, and was rewarded twenty minutes later, when his parents had
come home, to hear his mother telling him that Harry was asleep.

He didn't inquire
after them, nor did he ask for their help. His parents had been good
to him, too good, spoiling their only son and he was now a bit afraid
of what they would do to Harry's personality as their only grandson.
He knew they loved both of them unlike any other, but he didn't want
Harry to turn out to be a bully like he had been.

“You know,”
James started, getting up from the floor and dusting himself off.
“during that second month, was the time I realized what you had
been telling me all along.”

“What? That you'd
been a bully when you were younger?”

“Yeah... I even
wondered if it was my fault that Snape turned into a Death Eater.”
he shrugged, he still didn't like the potion apprentice and there was
more than pure animosity between them, but he would admit to being
part of Snape's decision.

“I don't think
you are. 'I'll join the Death Eaters because of my teenagehood bully
so I can get him back for everything' is a piss-poor excuse James.”
Frank shrugged, and James couldn't help but appreciate him at that
moment, Frank rarely shied away from awkward subjects.

“I just hope your
boy didn't inherit your guilt complex.” he grinned, and just
like that the subject was dropped, with James shooting him annoyed
glares.

Later that day, after
everyone under the age of two had been bathed, fed and was currently
napping, and after James and Harry's room had been fully furnished
and ready for a night of sleep, James went in search of Frank
Longbottom. Finding him in the garden out in the back along with his
mother.

Mrs. Longbottom smiled
at him, while Frank cleaned his hand and followed him out of the
greenhouse. James wondered, for a brief moment, if this is how it was
like to have a brother.

“What is it?”

“I'm going to
Snape's.”

“What? Now? Why?”
He cried.

“Gringotts,”
was all James said, shrugging. But Frank understood.

“I'm coming with
you.” He glared at the younger man.

“Why?! You don't
have to!”

“Are you bringing
Harry with you?”

“Sure, he's not
getting out of my sight any time soon.” James replies with a
hard edge to his voice.

“Then I'm going
with you, I'm not leaving you and him in the presence of a Death
Eater.”

“He's not a Death
Eater, not anymore at least.” to that Frank just snorted.

“He still has to
present evidence to me.”

With that they wrapped
up Harry, James murmuring for the infant to go back to sleep as he
cuddled him close, and they were gone into the green fire. As soon as
Snape saw them, he turned an even whiter shade of pale, his knees
apparently going weak as he sat on the stiff back chair.

“No... no, get
out of here! Go back to where you came from!” he shouted at
both of them.

“Snape? What
happened?” James asked cautiously as he stared at the half mad
man.

“Crouch and the
LeStranges are going to Longbottom State right now...”

“What? Crouch?
Head of Law Enforcement Crouch?”

“No, his son,
Barty Crouch Jr. now go!” He shouted, swiftly getting up,
throwing floo powder on the fireplace and shouting for the Longbottom
State before grabbing Frank and throwing him at the green fire.

“How did you
know?”

“They came here,”
he sneered, but somehow James didn't think the sneer was aimed at
him. “Asked if I'd like to join in on some fun while they
'politely inquired after the Dark Lord'.” at that he went from
pale to a mild shade of green, James felt relief at that since it
meant that he wasn't a monster, at least... not anymore.

“We should call
for the Aurors.” he muttered as he stepped up to the fireplace
again, as he stepped up the flames turned green and Severus
immediately pushed James behind him, reaching for his wand to defend
both himself and his guests.

At the same time James
begun to hear the tell-tale buzzing in his ears that meant the
Longbottom State had been breached, and he felt ashamed of himself as
the first thing that passed through his mind was to thank his
foresight to bring Harry with him.

As a lump came out of
the fireplace James stepped forward, staring at the mass of flesh he
immediately recognised Frank Longbottom.

“Frank! Frank!”
He called, kneeling besides the lump and noticing that his friend was
even more pale than Snape.

“They've got
Alice...” As soon as he said that he lurched forward, today's
meal making a rather striking appearance on the floor.

“They warded the
floo... and the State is warded! How could they get in?” he
cried, as he got up on unsteady feet, getting out of the house and
apparating as soon as he could to a place nearby the State, but
unwarded.

Back in Spinner's End,
James was by the fireplace, firecalling the Auror department, he got
three teams plus head auror Moody before the call was through.

“I need to go
there.”

Severus just closed his
eyes, he knew where this was going.

“Can you take
care of him?”

“I can-” he
was cut off as James just about shoved Harry into his arms before
running out, “-but it doesn't mean I will... damn it Potter!”

The infant whined at
his tone, blearily opening his eyes before closing them again.

“Not you Harry, your father.” he muttered before warding
his house against possible intrusion and going up to bed.
- 8
- 9
- 10
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Promises of Forever