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Naked on your Chain	By : flagfish Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Remus/Sirius Views: 6160 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor any of the characters, nor do I make any money from writing this story.

Chapter List
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Up on the wall in Slughorn's class there was a photo depicting the professor along with a handful of students, all beaming politely at the camera. Remus gazed at it absently, watching photo-Slughorn pat them amicably on the back, the students grinning nervously as though somehow uncomfortable to be there but too well-mannered to act. There was Regulus Black, Sirius' brother, dutifully shaking Slughorn's hand, the good son who'd been everything Sirius was not.
Remus was willing to bet he'd never held a cigarette in his life. Looking at the photo, you could tell they were brothers, Sirius the more handsome of the two but bearing a striking resemblance. Sirius would never wind up in the Slug Club, that's for sure. They didn't hang out together at school. Like proper brothers, they each pretended they weren't related at all, and it was a good thing, too, because according to Sirius, his brother had a lot of disturbing ideas about blood purity. He's an insufferable little twat, Padfoot had said, mimicking to the others the way Regulus spoke about Death Eaters and the Dark Lord, just to win their mother's affection.
Maybe Sirius was justified in his resentment, even if he did sound like an arse when he ridiculed him that way; fact of the matter was, Sirius said frightfully malicious things about most of his family. It made you uncomfortable to hear even if you told yourself he had good reason, because your family is part of you, after all.
It became evident straight away that whatever had gone on between Potter and Black wasn't going on anymore, to the vast disappointment of witches at all houses. They'd been so dirty. They'd been so blatant about it, and pulled it off so well. Lily didn't agree to go out with James when he asked her that week, but she did show unmistakable interest, she tried to ask without being too obvious what it was that had happened between him and Sirius. He'd been on the verge of making some suggestive, arrogant joke that would imply something scandalous, but thought better of it— whatever he'd tell her would likely propagate throughout the girls' dorm, and that would be well good if Sirius wasn't dating Remus.
He pretended instead to miss her subtle remarks, leaving her frustrated and exasperated with him, but that's how he liked her—if she didn't get annoyed with him, she wouldn't be Evans, and James believed she must take some sort of dark pleasure in his pursuit.
She went to Sirius, then.
She disliked him at least as much as she disliked James, and he reveled in the opportunity to aggravate her more.
"If it isn't Evans," he said without looking up when she approached him during a free period at the Great Hall. She regarded him with animosity before settling down gracelessly at his side.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked.
She glared like a petulant child, and didn't even know why. "I can't get answers out of James," she said bluntly.
He snickered, still not looking up from his book. "I'm certain you can get anything you fancy out of James."
"You lot were—"
He rolled his eyes upward from under his hair, blinked once, raised an eyebrow.
She pursed her lips shut.
"Whatever are you on about?" he asked.
"You bloody well know what I'm on about."
He finally turned fully to face her, arms crossed over his chest. He waited for her to go on; she hated him for doing so.
She looked down, then back up, then aside, and then tucked a strand of hair behind one ear. Her voice came hushed and embarrassed when she spoke, "What went on between you?"
"Why are you so interested?"
"I'm not—!"
"Ask James, he'd love to tell you."
"I've asked him already." Not quite. Not in so many words.
He brought his hands to the tabletop and slid closer to her, uncomfortably close, so that she scooted farther back, and he murmured, "You wanna hear about how he fucked me?" he asked, deliberately enunciating the word and raising his eyebrows, because that was the rumor, wasn't it, that Sirius lost it to James.
She flushed, mouth opening in astonishment and began to scramble for the proper term to convey denial and disgust and offense all at once, and also to indicate she'd like for him to say more—
"Did he?" she whispered.
Sirius laughed. "Evans, Evans, Evans…why don't you just go out with James?"
"Don't change the subject…!"
"We were just experimenting," he finally said, "he doesn't fancy blokes."
Lily appeared decidedly disappointed. Her eyes searched his face for a few moments before she said, "But it seemed like…"
"It seemed like he did?"
She nodded.
"Look, why are you asking me all this stuff? He'd love to tell you, I'm sure."
She didn't say anything for a few moments after that, appearing entirely dissatisfied.
"Is he…" she finally asked, voice going very quiet, and she looked around to see if anyone might overhear, "is he any good?"
Sirius stared back in complete surprise, emitting a chuckle of laughter, and she shushed him, wholly embarrassed by what she'd asked.
"Evans…" he said, now clapping both hands down at the side of the table and leaning closer to her, eyes narrowing and smile going bright and toothy, "Oh, yes, he is good."
XXX
Remus felt mortified when he thought back to all that had happened the other day. But also, there were undeniable pleasurable thrills dancing inside him when he thought back to what getting head had been like. He'd confessed to Sirius with sheepish contentment that he'd liked it a lot, and Sirius chuckled, regarding him with an amused stare. "You tit," he said, "of course you liked it."
Taking him out on a proper date wasn't straightforward, because the next outing to Hogsmeade wasn't for some time, and they weren't allowed out that far otherwise. Considering the four of them had found a number of secret passages out of the castle, it remained a matter of finding the right time to sneak out when they weren't tied up with other obligations and wouldn't be seen.
By that time, all of Gryffindor house was aware that Potter is very good, and that it was Black who had said so. All of Gryffindor house was also aware that Black was dating Lupin, but because Sirius had a long history of not staying in relationships for long, witches already were taking bets on how long it would last— perhaps to have something to amuse themselves with now that James and Sirius weren't at it anymore.
Remus was aware of this, too. But, all the while, Padfoot remained the same old Padfoot as he'd known him for years, and friendship went deeper than dating ever did. He noticed, like everyone else, that Sirius and James had stopped their dirty games together, and it made him feel guilty, but it was James who'd told Sirius to ask Remus out. He almost felt compelled to tell him he was okay with them doing it, if it was just for a laugh, if it was just physical, Evans was the one James actually fancied, after all—
But what sort of wretched relationship did you have if you even fancied snogging someone else…?
"Do you miss it," he asked, absently toying with a plastic shopping bag on their exit from Honeyduke's, and Sirius regarded him with mild interest, hands in his pockets and scarf trailing behind him as they walked.
"Snogging's not everything," there came the response, and Remus wondered if it really wasn't, and if that's really all there was between him and James. "Reckon I'll go slow with you, Moony."
Remus watched him as they proceeded along the walkway, his black hair billowing in the wind, and it occurred to him that now that the competition between Sirius and James was over, maybe there no longer was a pressing need to be profane. "Who says I want to go slow," he replied, "I've not said I didn't like it."
"You don't say a lot of things."
Remus began to say something, but he realized he'd not been prepared to hear something like that. "What do you mean?" he asked, and Sirius shrugged. "Did you fancy going out on a date with me?" he said, and Remus gazed down to the earth, where his trainers drew tracks in the mud.
"I'd not thought of it," he replied honestly, and Sirius nodded. He came to a halt, his hair whipping all around his face, hands still in his pockets. Remus stopped, as well, looking back expectantly, unsure of what Sirius had to say but aware it seemed important.
"Did you fancy me?" Sirius asked.
Remus stared back, lips parted, eyes squinting against the wind. The scarf around his neck rustled like a long red and gold snake, and he rubbed his hands together against the cold, looking down.
"Yeah," he finally said, and he went quiet after that.
Sirius nodded. He made a motion to hold his hands to his sides while they were still in his pockets. "That's what I mean. You don't say anything."
Remus gave a laugh. "You don't just—how many people just—"
"I wouldn't have snogged Prongs if I knew."
Whatever Remus was going to say next never came, his lips frozen in the shape of an O. He gazed at Sirius for a long time, his hair messily ruffling, his scarf still whipping around.
"I thought—" he started, then stopped, then started again, as though struggling to bring himself to say it outright, "—I thought you lot fancied each other—"
Sirius gazed down at the ground, kicking absently into the dirt with the toe of one foot. "Prongs is special," he said.
Remus nodded slowly, unsurprised but no more pleased to hear it outright. "Do you fancy me," he asked, still squinting as he looked up.
"Wouldn't be here, would I?"
Remus took it in quietly. Several seconds had passed before he said, "You'd not said anything, either."
"I'd not thought of it."
"You—"
Sirius raised both hands to his sides, now out of his pockets. He chuckled with childlike innocence when he said, "I don't fancy people, Moony—"
"You've just said—"
"I know what I've just said. You lot are—special."
"We lot."
"Yes—you, Prongs, and Wormtail."
"You fancy us all."
"Moony…"
What was true was that he really did love them all; they were the real family he'd never had. He realized that dating someone who actually knew him was complicated.
"All right," he sighed, "I reckon I've fancied you since Prongs told me what you asked him in potions. I guess. I don't know."
Remus, who was halfway to lamenting inwardly how much he loathed Sirius, looked up with a curious bout of surprise.
It wasn't convincing. It didn't really make sense, and also, if that were true, it would make Sirius guilty of the same not saying anything he'd accused him of. Most importantly, though, he'd still snogged James after the fact.
He wanted to be satisfied that Sirius had really asked him out, that he'd really said he'd fancied him, but he felt more compelled to think that Sirius just didn't fancy people. All the while, more than anything, he didn't want to lose him to the extent that he'd had him.
He kicked a rock off the path and watched as it skidded and rolled to the side of the road. There was something pleasurable about having him there to himself, even if he didn't like himself for thinking so; the fact remained that you couldn't make someone else love you, and if he fancied Sirius, it wasn't Sirius' fault. He found himself racking his brain for anything that would justify being upset with him, but found to his own humble astonishment that it was only he, himself, whose feelings had changed, and he couldn't find a good reason to blame Sirius. It occurred to him that Sirius' attitude toward him was a surprise to no one but himself.
It wasn't that Padfoot disliked him; far from it, he was the same amicable friend he'd always known, and Remus found it exasperating, because he couldn't blame him for how wretched he felt. He wanted so much to hear him say anything that would reassure him that Padfoot was his, but it never came. He found himself not saying stuff more than ever before, because he'd become so acutely aware of what Padfoot didn't feel, and he thought he'd rather die than have to endure it gently and compassionately explained to him.
He'd already been asleep that night when Sirius climbed in his bed without a word, without underhanded intent beyond that. It warmed his heart to find him there in the morning, long hair disheveled and stubble overgrown, his long limbs in a disarrayed tangle all through the sheets. He found he was grateful for every bit of kindness— though no matter how tightly he held him, he felt that he never could hold him in earnest.
XXX
He'd fallen behind on his homework. He'd stayed up routinely to get it done and hadn't slept properly that entire week, he nearly dozed off into his oatmeal one morning when there came the loud flutter of owls flying through with the post. He startled, nearly knocking Wormtail's pumpkin juice aside, but it wasn't because of the owls; Sirius scrambled out of the bench all at once, eyes alight with enthusiasm as he darted after one of the owls, which wasn't flying toward him at all. James gave a cry of delight when he realized what it was about, and now the three of them looked on, as well as several others seated nearby.
Reaching expertly into the air, Sirius caught the poor bird by one leg while it ruffled and cooed in his grasp, and finally released it with a whirl of loose feathers after ripping the note from its foot. Bollocks, Remus thought, and it might have amused him the way it amused Wormtail and Prongs if he'd not felt so crestfallen of late, there Sirius stood with the note held high over his head, Regulus hitting him and pulling his robes as he tried to reach for the letter. Regulus' perfect black hair swayed and he seemed almost childlike, robes swinging, cursing Sirius under his breath with cries of give it back…!
James clapped his hands in appreciation, egging Sirius on as he proceeded to orate the letter aloud, complete with embarrassing affections from their mother and concerns about how well Regulus was eating and whether his marks had improved. It was maliciously dirty, Remus knew, but it stood as a fact that that same owl had not come for Sirius in nearly three years. Remus had turned a blind eye to this sort of bullying for the sake of his friends, but even so, he felt particularly disgusted now.
He didn't see Sirius in some heavenly light. He saw him as he were, complete with all his flaws, but, disgusted as he were, he thought he loved them, too.
It wasn't until the next quidditch match that he'd thought of it again. Gryffindor was playing Slytherin and James was at his cockiest, gleaming triumphant in red and gold before ever making his way to the pitch and already explaining gameplay logistics to Lily unnecessarily, under the assumption that she must not already know. She didn't stand for it, no matter how good the entire school already assumed he was in bed, and left for the pitch without him.
As prefect, Remus had left before the others to help properly usher both players and spectators into the pitch, and it was impossible to really feel down when a game was about to go on. The roaring chatter and waving flags and battle chants, even the way the bleachers seemed to take new life when Mister Chaser Extraordinaire, himself, flew in on his broom; Remus particularly loved seeing Professor McGonagall come alive with Gryffindor spirit, you'd never guess just the week before she gave Sirius detention for belching a flawless Go Gryffindor halfway through transfiguration.
He couldn't be angry with Sirius now. His three best mates loitered at the entrance to the pitch by his side as he worked, and it was so much like old times that he'd forgotten anything unpleasant ever happened between them. "Go on, Prongs," he said, "it's almost time, you're not supposed to be here." James was about to turn and head over to join his teammates when a few of the Slytherin players rushed in, among them Regulus, their Seeker. They were coming in almost late but still barely in time, and Sirius immediately nudged James before expertly holding out his foot and tripping his brother.
Regulus fell to the ground without any of the classical Black grace that Remus came to know in Sirius, and James clapped Sirius on the back with absolute contentment. Regulus got up and dusted himself off, calling out a halfhearted fuck you as he rushed off to join his teammates. Peter chuckled in admiration of Sirius' quick reflexes to have tripped him on such short notice.
That sort of taunting was to be expected right before a match, it wasn't anything new; still, it was hardly the first time Sirius bullied his brother unprovoked.
Almost as by fate, Gryffindor lost the match. It was a particularly low blow because Regulus got them the win, catching the snitch just an arm's length ahead of Gryffindor's Seeker.
Slytherin burst into song, roaring through the pitch about what a pile of rubbish Gryffindor was, and it was particularly aggravating for James, who had scored a large number of goals on his own, only to see it all go to waste in the end. They were all in a rotten mood filing out, Remus still was away with the other prefects ushering students while Peter and Sirius waited for him and James.
"That was utter bollocks," Sirius said, "they'd hardly scored any goals…!"
"Utter bollocks," Peter replied, finding himself in perpetual agreement with anything James and Sirius said.
There were Slytherins walking past, still singing to Gryffindor's downfall, among them a small crowd in silver and green in a ring around Regulus, chanting and cheering as they went.
"That little twat," Sirius muttered, but he made no move to have at him then. It was only when James joined them a moment after the fact that Mulciber cried out what a massive bellend James was, and that his game was utter shite.
"Say that again, Mulciber…!" James scowled, stepping closer and gritting his teeth. His cape whipped around him, face still damp with exertion from after the game. Mulciber stepped close to James, about to say more when Regulus walked out from the crowd, "They're sore losers, the lot of them, mudbloods and half-breeds—"
It wasn't James who hit him then; Remus didn't know what the commotion was about until he found the roaring crowd, closed in a ring around something flailing and struggling. James and Peter cheered on, and it wasn't until Remus had waded through toward them that he found Regulus entirely immobilized beneath Sirius, who had straddled his waist and was beating him the way only brothers beat each other up.
Both were bleeding, Sirius' hair swinging disheveled and Regulus' cape entirely ground in the dirt, and no one was helping, the Gryffindors in particular were egging him on. Rows broke out after matches, that was nothing new, and who didn't feel shite after losing a game, and this clearly was something between brothers— but Remus felt sick all the same. He thought he'd looked the other way enough. In a bout of stupidity, he reached in and gripped Sirius by the arm, muttering through clenched teeth that he'd gone completely mental, and Sirius, too far gone in the fight, shook him off without noticing.
James protested, shouting to Remus that Regulus had it coming for months, that it's nothing short of what he deserved; Remus stood uselessly in place for several moments before proceeding to push his way back out of the crowd. He went to get McGonagall.
All the bitterness and frustration he'd felt toward Sirius for the past several weeks came to manifestation at last; he hated him, he hated him for how he inadvertently made him suffer, he realized he wanted so much to see him hurt that he reveled darkly in this opportunity to find him at genuine fault.
He was a traitor, he knew, he felt guilty all the while, because James and Peter also saw, and they all knew what would come after that. The last time a row broke out, students were nearly suspended. Remus had heard plenty about what kind of person Regulus was, but seeing him bruised and beaten on the ground, just because he'd won Slytherin the match, entirely overpowered by Sirius with nobody trying to help—
It was sick. Remus wasn't the Slytherin prefect, but he was the one to take Regulus to see Madam Pomfrey after the fact, maybe in revenge, maybe out of spite, maybe deliberately to make Sirius suffer—
Truth be told, Sirius didn't walk away unscathed. They both had scratches, both were bleeding, and even if it were a match between brothers—likely far from the first or the last—Regulus was hardly walking straight by the time they'd made their way to the ward. Sirius had also been bruised, but not bad enough to need treatment.
Remus felt rotten all around. He was disgusted by how raw and grotesque the fight was from close up, embarrassed for both of them, and he felt horribly guilty for being the one to report Sirius. He thought he hated Sirius for how cruel he had been—not toward his brother, or Severus, or Lily, or anyone else he picked on—but how cruel he was toward him by not loving him back, without ever meaning to be cruel at all.
He sat at the bedside, gazing absently at the dust floating in the sunlight while he waited for Madam Pomfrey to finish fussing over Regulus so that she could fill out the forms he was to take back to Slughorn; he felt a traitor through and through.
There were students from Slytherin hurrying in, they'd not helped Regulus during the fight, but now that he was there, they'd come to see him and congratulate him for the win, and worry that he'd gotten hurt. Remus wished Pomfrey would leave the responsibility of taking the forms to one of them instead, because he didn't want to be there. But he was prefect, after all, so Pomfrey forbade the others from coming in and crowding the patient, and a number of them stood out at the door.
"Thanks," Regulus said spontaneously, and Remus was taken off guard, having spent the past several minutes staring out the window at the good weather they'd had for a change; he turned his gaze to him, hands resting idly in his lap and feeling tired and irritable and overall lousy. It was the first thing he'd said since Remus brought him in.
Remus regarded him curiously for several moments, unsure of what to say in return; he'd never thought much of Sirius' brother, apart from how he presumably was a massive prat, and from the frightening things Sirius said he believed in so openly. He had a bruise on one eye that was slowly swelling up, and there was a dark red cut at his bottom lip, but, other than that, his likeness to Sirius was more striking than Remus had noticed before.
"You're welcome," he finally said, impatient to be out of there and not have to talk to anyone for a long time.
"Lupin, is it," Regulus asked, "you're dating my brother."
Remus stared back with intrigue; the way information traveled at their school, it wasn't surprising that everyone knew— still, though, hearing it directly from someone you didn't know felt unsettling. Remus didn't reply; he felt enough of a traitor already. After all he'd heard about Regulus for the past several years, he felt no desire to engage him in conversation.
He was surprised, then, by how timid he was. He didn't seem cocky or arrogant the way everyone from Gryffindor perceived everyone from Slytherin to be, and Remus reminded himself of all the things Sirius said that his brother believed in, even if he seemed gentle from close up. He didn't expect what came next;
"What's he like, then? Is he nice?"
It was a curious thing to ask; "What's he like? Your own brother?"
"He's a prat to me, clearly, but what's he really like?"
He's really a prat to me, too, Remus thought bitterly, even if Sirius had treated him with kindness—he'd made him suffer either way.
It was utter rubbish, trying to pass off that he really didn't know his brother; but it struck Remus that there was unmistakable longing in Regulus' voice. Even fresh at the aftermath of a row, he wasn't on about Sirius with the same sort of loathing Remus had come to know well on Sirius' part. It occurred to Remus that Regulus looked up to his brother.
He was entirely different. He had none of the quietly seductive, bold air that Sirius had, though he looked so remarkably similar; even with the bandages on, Remus could tell he was built in the same elegant form, graceful and slender, the same silky hair—
But Remus had the distinct impression that Regulus didn't resent his brother the way he did now, himself, even after Sirius had treated Regulus far worse; he was overcome with bitterness he didn't fully understand. without ever meaning to, he was suddenly telling Regulus all the things he didn't tell Sirius and James, about how wretched he felt, how profoundly aware he was of being left out, how even now that Sirius began to date him, the only person he'd ever really fancy was obviously James, and how, worst of all, despite that, despite it all, he had fallen hopelessly in love with Sirius, and it was something exhausting and devastating that had him completely tormented, and which he couldn't will away—
He was embarrassed with his outburst but also unexpectedly relieved, all the rotten things that happened that day had left him emotionally exhausted; and now that it all was irreversibly out in the air between them, he was uncomfortably reminded that Regulus was the one badly injured. Regulus regarded him quietly for a long time, overwhelmed after hearing far more intimate things than he'd ever expected; he slowly sat up in bed, accommodating to the bandages and discomfort of having to move. There was a bit of Sirius' gaze in his eyes, despite the bruise, and his hand was infinitely gentle when he tugged at Remus' arm. From somewhere down the hall, there emanated the distant tick of a clock; there came the discordant voices of Slytherin students still visible out by the door; Regulus pulled Remus toward him, long arms coming round his back with the tentative softness of a child, and even though they never knew each other, he held him carefully without ever saying a word.
(On to Chapter 10)
A/N: I would love to find someone interested in roleplaying these guys (if this is still on here then I'm still looking, haha!) By far my favorite pairing is James/Sirius, but I could do Sirius/Remus as well; I'm aware that Sirius/Remus is a much more popular pairing, and for years I've had a very hard time finding anyone interested in RPing James/Sirius— so I'd love you if you felt like trying it out! ^^ I don't mind at all if you haven't RPd these guys before, if English isn't your first language, if you're a little shy, or if you're new to this fandom or to RPing; I just like writing with someone else who's passionate about the same stuff =) If you feel like giving it a go, then please reach me through the contact info on my profile. Thank you! ^^
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Naked on your Chain