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To Disappear Through Time	By : theladyrainey Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Sirius/Hermione Views: 8678 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any characters or objects included in the Harry Potter fandom. I do not profit from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
A/N: Here is the new chapter! I’d like to say thank you again for your reviews! Not only do they inspire me to keep writing, but a lot of them have given me ideas that I will most likely include in the story! I hope you enjoy. :)

To Disappear Through Time

Chapter 9

Sirius reached out, and with the pad of his thumb, wiped the sweet confection from her nose. Without dropping his gaze from hers, he brought his thumb to his mouth and licked it clean before murmuring “delicious”.

Oh bollocks, she thought to herself at the sudden butterflies in her stomach.

Hermione felt herself blush and dropped her eyes as Sirius did the same. This is not the time to revisit your teenage infatuation with Sirius Black, she told herself.

“Thank you,” she said quietly before sitting down with her cupcake and milk. They ate in silence, each mulling over their thoughts. Suddenly Sirius asked a question that caught Hermione by surprise.

“Hermione, why did Harry marry Ginny?”

Hermione felt dumbfounded for a moment and didn’t know quite how to respond.

“I’m assuming because he found himself to be quite fond of her, Sirius,” she said finally.

“No, I mean it. How did it happen? Did they date all through Hogwarts? Why did I never hear about it?”

“They didn’t date until after you were gone. It’s hard to explain,” Hermione said awkwardly.

“Try,” Sirius insisted. “I really want to understand it.”

Hermione sighed and gave him a long look before conceding.

“Well, Ginny grew up hearing about Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, great savior of the wizarding world. And it was like she idolized him, as Muggle girls do movie stars. She was starstruck. And when Harry and Ron became such good friends and he began coming to the Burrow regularly, she couldn’t even bring herself to talk to him. She fancied him so much she didn’t talk in front of him until the summer before our 5^th year, I think. She was in love with him before she even really got to know him.”

“I don’t like that,” Sirius said shortly.

“I didn’t much understand it,” Hermione admitted. “Harry never really had much to say about it. It was all rather polite conversation; he never teased her or anything, although her brothers often had a go at it. I can’t even recall them having extended conversation until after she finally got over it our fifth year. She told me she had given up on him finally, and I told him as such, but he wasn’t too concerned about it. That was when he liked this girl Cho, so that was probably why. Then out of nowhere it seemed, during our sixth year when everything was getting bad, his feelings for her began to change. They were off and on due to the war, but they always came back together. And now they’re married.”

“What do you feel about it?”

Hermione seemed reluctant to say anything about it. “Well,” she began, “if I were to think about it objectively, it would bother me. There were dozens of girls who loved Harry just because he was famous and didn’t care about who he really was. And that’s how she was at the beginning. But it was Ron’s little sister, you know? And they eventually did get to know each other.”

“I don’t like that she loved him just for his name. And the fact that he’s thrown away his friendship with you because of her and her family.”

Sighing, Hermione decided to take a different tactic.

“Sirius, did Harry ever tell you about the time he found the Mirror of Erised?”

“No, but I’ve heard of it.”

“Then you know that it shows you your heart’s deepest desire. Do you know what Harry saw when he looked into it?”

“What?”

“His family, all of his family. He saw Lily and James and their parents and probably their grandparents and so on, all standing behind him. It was like he had the reassurance of his family behind him, if only for a few nights. That’s what devastated him about losing you, you were the closest thing to a real family he’s ever had. And now that he and Ginny are together, he has a family. I’m almost sure they would have loved him no matter who he ended up with, but now he is really a Weasley. He has them all behind him like he hasn’t had anyone else for most of his life. I can understand why he wouldn’t want to jeopardize it. I don’t blame him.”

“You keep saying that, Hermione, but I think you should. Although, I probably do enough for both of us. I know that I haven’t been able to be around him for as much as I have liked, and that everyone believes that I see him as James reincarnated, but I can’t seem to process what you’ve told me with the Harry that I know.”

Hermione sighed.

“I can’t explain it any better than I have, Sirius. I’ve had time to deal with it and rationalize it as best I can, and when it comes down to it, I think I understand. Not that I don’t wish it were different sometimes.”

Sirius wanted to reach out a hand to her, but a table separated them. And considering that she had a habit of making him feel like an awkward third-year, he didn’t know if it was the best idea. And if what he was thinking had any credence, it would make it even more disconcerting. Finally, taking a deep breath, he voiced what he was thinking.

“I always thought that it would be you and him,” Sirius admitted.

Hermione sighed, as if it were something that she had thought about yet didn’t wish to discuss.

“I mean, I know he’s not James but I thought you would work as he and Lily did. When it comes down to the important parts, he is so much like James. And you very much remind me of Lily sometimes. Your temperament, your intelligence, your passion towards things you care about. She was a genuinely good person, she would give anyone a chance. Back in our Hogwarts days, it always boggled my mind how she could be so nice to Snivellus when he was such a greasy git, but I think you would have been the same way.”

At this statement Hermione considered telling Sirius what they had found out about Snape and his history with Lily, but decided against it. It probably wouldn’t really sway his thoughts about the man too much, and may do more harm than good.

Sirius continued.

“The same thing goes for Remus. She had suspected what he was before we even had a clue and she never treated him any differently. Just as when you found out, any other 13-year-old would’ve run off to tell her friends immediately, but you understood the implications and kept his secret. And with Harry, you were the one that stood by him even when no one else seemed to. You knew when he needed to be pushed or pulled but you still let him have his space. You’re the best friend he could have asked for. You were always there for him whenever he needed you. And considering I couldn’t be there for him when I wanted, I love you for being there when I couldn’t.”

You’ve been in her life for two days and you’re telling her you love her? Way to go, you old git, Sirius thought frustratedly.

He was silent for a few moments. Finally he said, “I just can’t say that I understand it.”

Hermione pondered a moment on what Sirius had said. It was interesting hearing his views on her and Harry’s relationship, especially in regard to James and Lily.

“There were times when I thought to myself that we would be good together,” Hermione confessed. “But it never seemed like something I could have. He was so strong and brave and everything I had always wished I could be. But at the same time, so vulnerable. I tried to protect him, and I suppose that’s where the idea of a brother-sister thing came from. But even if I had considered it, I suppose I wasn’t his type. Both Ginny and Cho were a lot alike: gorgeous, tall and thin, funny and Quidditch players. Besides, he needed someone to take him away from it all. Not someone who was fighting right there beside him. I think he knew I would never abandon him, and for that reason I became like a reminder of what he was up against. With Ginny, he could forget about it all for awhile and be happy. He couldn’t have that with me. I know that’s what he needed back then, but now…I sometimes wonder…”

Hermione laughed softly and examined the palm of her hands before continuing.

“But that’s neither here nor there. It is what it is and he is happy with Ginny. And Ron was always so jealous that if Harry and I had even tried for a relationship he would’ve been furious. He might’ve forgiven Harry after awhile, but I doubt he would have forgiven me. If we had ended up together where would he be? Alone in this old house with me, the Weasleys still hating me for stealing him away. ”

“And he’d be better off,” Sirius insisted. “Believe me, I know all about being a raucous teenager, chasing after pretty Quidditch players. But as you get older, other things become more important. Things like trust and maturity in a relationship. You want someone who is supportive and shares what you want in life. Someone who inspires you to be a better person.”

Holding her gaze with his, Sirius paused before continuing.

“Someone you see yourself loving for the rest of your life.”

Grey eyes. Those damn grey eyes. A week ago she never would’ve guessed that she would ever see those striking grey eyes ever again and yet here she was staring into them as enchanted as ever.

“That’s what I want, Sirius.”

“That’s what I want too, Hermione. But it’s something I can never have.”

A/N: Haha, can you tell that my OTP is Harmony? :)
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To Disappear Through Time