Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Controlled Emotions	By : LeviosaHex Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 23984 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I did not create the Harry Potter stories or universe and I do not make any money from this

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Warnings: Male/Male sexual content... lots of it :-) Oh and the fact it hasn't all been edited/grammer checked yet... but ran out of time and wont be able to write for a couple of weeks so thought I would give ou what I have...

Chapter 9 - Determination

Day 9 Cont.

0940hrs – Snape's Office/Potions Classroom

Severus pushed Harry away, shook his head and scowled.

"That was completely foolish Potter," he said, his scowl deepening when Harry smiled.

"Maybe, but you can't tell me you didn't like it," Harry replied smoothly as his eyes travelled down to Severus' groin.

Severus grunted and whipped his voluminous robes around himself, covering his obvious arousal. "That is completely irrelevant. Given our current circumstance, kissing me is highly inappropriate. We must talk to the Headmaster immediately and return to class before it's more than just Miss Granger that notices something strange about your hormonal behaviour toward me," Severus said harshly as he strode to the fireplace and threw in a handful of floo powder. "The Headmasters Office," he muttered, continuing to scowl at Harry who laughed at his obvious discomfort.

The voice of the Headmaster filled the room a moment later. "Severus, is everything alright?"

"Albus, can you come through? I have some disturbing news I think you should hear immediately; however, I have a class of incompetent idiots currently brewing a potentially lethal potion and cannot leave," Severus said into the fire.

"Certainly," Albus said mildly. The fire flared green a moment later, and Dumbledore gracefully stepped out.

"Ah Harry! Nice to see you. I was actually planning to send you a message this morning. I would like to have a chat with you later tonight, if you can spare a moment of your time for an old man that is."

"Oh, of course Sir," Harry replied, cursing under his breath, his smile now gone. He wanted to spend time with Severus tonight; he was determined to make the stubborn git listen to him, but he could not refuse to meet with Dumbledore.

Dumbledore turned his attention to the scowling Potions Master whose robes were still wrapped around him tightly, "Severus, what is so urgent, you risk leaving your students alone?"

"It is Potter. Yet again he has flouted all known boundaries of magic and has displayed another disturbing skill. A skill, if not controlled could cause endless trouble, since the boy is incapable of ordered thought or control," Snape sneered.

Harry struggled not to roll his eyes at the barbed comments. Words, he told himself. Words, that's all they were.

"Really Severus. I am sure young Harry here is quite capable of controlling himself when not provoked unnecessarily," Dumbledore said peering over his glasses in reprimand.

Snapped snorted in derision. "You seem to labouring under the false impression that Potter has the control and maturity..."

Severus' rant was broken short with someone banging urgently on the office door.

The panicked voice of a student came through the thick wood. "Professor Snape! Professor Snape!"

Severus' swore under his breath and darted to the door, flinging it open just in time to cast a protection shield around Ron's cauldron, which was smoking and bubbling dangerously. It exploded a second later. Harry and Dumbledore followed the irate Potions Master into the classroom, and watched as he strode toward a pale looking Ron.

"Into my office now, you imbecile," Snape snapped. "The Headmaster will give you an antidote for smoke inhalation, which is on my desk especially for idiots like you Weasley. The rest of you can turn off your cauldrons and leave. Quietly."

The Headmaster disappeared back into Snape's office with Ron staggering behind him. However, before the antidote could be administered, Ron collapsed on the floor unconscious.

"What were you brewing Harry?" Dumbledore asked as he peered at the vial he had retrieved from Severus' desk.

"Oh I don't know ermm... I have been in here since the beginning of class," Harry said worriedly looking at his prone friend.

"Ask Severus how much of this antidote I need to give Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore instructed as he unstoppered the vial and smelt it.

Harry ran back to the classroom to see Severus waving his wand over the smoking mess, which had once been Ron's desk, muttering quietly. Harry presumed he was casting some sort of containment and cleaning spell.

"Se...Professor Snape?" Harry stammered not wanting to interrupt the continual incantations.

Snape ignored him. Harry could feel the eyes of his classmates on him as they stilled in their task of putting away books and turning off cauldrons.

"Professor Snape," Harry repeated louder this time.

Severus growled, and stopped muttering, but never removed his eyes from the still spreading black mass on the floor.

"Not now Harry, I need to contain this first," he snapped distractedly, and starting the incantations again immediately after speaking.

Oh shit, Harry thought as he heard mutters and shocked gasps from the students still remaining at the use of his first name.

"But Professor, how m..."

"I said not now!"

Harry closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and pushed his question into Severus mind, ignoring the fact there was people still watching him. I need to know how much of the antidote to give Ron. Oh and don't call me Harry! Severus tensed and flinched slightly before responding, "All of it Potter, you imbecile!" Snape barked between spells, emphasising 'Potter' in a sneering tone. Harry turned back toward the Headmaster, who was kneeling down beside Ron, pouring the whole vial of antidote into his mouth. He had obviously heard the interaction between him and Severus.

Ron coughed and spluttered moments after the potion had been administered, "Bloody Hell! Potions are going to be the death of me," he said as soon as he regained consciousness.

"I am sure Professor Snape would not allow that to happen, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore replied to the disorientated boy lying at his feet. Ron snorted derisively.

"Up you get, I am sure you are just fine now, but I suggest you head over to the infirmary just to make sure. Harry, you go with him, I think I have worked out what it is you and Severus want to discuss. I will get his version of events first and join you in the Infirmary later," Dumbledore said before sweeping out into the classroom.

Harry watched him go but was a little worried that he wouldn't be present when Severus informed the Headmaster about his ability to transfer thoughts. They were going to have to lie about what he had been thinking, and Harry didn't have a clue what Severus was going to tell the Headmaster he had heard.

"What the hell's going on with you and Snape Harry?" Ron whispered urgently once Dumbledore was out of ear shot.

"Nothing Ron," Harry lied, and followed Dumbledore into the classroom, ignoring his friends scowl. Now was not the time for lenghty explanations.

When Harry entered the classroom, Severus was finishing the task of repairing Ron's desk. All signs of the ruined potion were gone. Thankfully Hermione was the only student remaining, and she rushed to Ron's side as soon they entered looking worriedly at her boyfriend.

"Now, about this matter you wish to discuss Severus, Harry is going to escort Mr. Weasley to the Infirmary, so how about you and I have a nice cup of tea in my office and I can catch up with Harry later if need be," Dumbledore stated more than asked.

Harry shuffled his feet and tried to convey to Severus he wasn't happy about discussing this matter with the Headmaster separately, but before he or Severus could say anything, Hermione cleared her throat and spoke.

"I can take Ron to the Infirmary if you need to speak with Harry Sir," she offered.

"Excellent idea Miss Granger. I am sure Professor Snape and I will not keep your friend long." Hermione slipped her arm around Ron's wasit and led him out the classroom.

"Now we can all have a nice cup of tea," Dumbledore said with a pleased smile once the door was closed behind Ron and Hermione leaving them alone.

Severus didn't answer and swayed slightly on his feet. "Are you all right Professor?" Harry asked worriedly, placing a hand on Severus' arm when he swayed again.

Severus scowled and shrugged Harry's hand away, "I do not need your assistance Potter. It is your fault I was distracted whilst cleaning up your friends mess, and I may have inadvertently inhaled more than..." Severus collapsed at Harry's feet.

"Oh dear," Dumbledore said mildly. Harry quickly knelt down and pushed Severus' hair away from his face.

"Headmaster! He doesn't seem to be breathing!" he said frantically, pulling the unconscious man onto his lap, and cradled him.

"Ah the fumes of an overheated Draught of Living Death," Dumbledore said calmly, reading the instruction on the blackboard. "No need to worry Harry, he is not dead, just in a very deep sleep, but I will have to get him to the Infirmary." Dumbledore's eyebrows almost reached his hairline when he looked back at Harry, who was now stroking Severus pale face. "I presume you wish to accompany him?" Dumbledore asked, with surprise clear in his tone.

"Of course... emm, I mean yeah, I want to see if Ron is all right and we can have our discussion after Professor Snape takes the antidote. " Harry quickly placed Severus back on the floor and stood. His face flushed bright red at having held and stroked Severus face in front of the Headmaster.

"Mmmm," Dumbledore said with a frown. "Well I will require your assistance in getting him there in any case. We will need to take him by floo. I cannot imagine the rage he would be in if we were to carry him unconscious through the halls of Hogwarts. You will need to floo together since he won't be able to exit the floo network himself," Dumbledore instructed as he cast a featherlight charm on Severus unconscious body.

Harry lifted Severus easily and cradled him in his arms before stepping into the floo.

1000hrs - Hogwarts Infirmary.

Moments later, Harry fell out of the fireplace in the Infirmary. He had never quite managed to master the art of travelling by floo gracefully, and landed awkwardly on top of Severus on the white marble floor.

"Oh my God Harry! What happened?" the high pitch voice of Hermione reached him as he struggled to regain his feet.

"Inhaled too much of Ron's potion." Harry answered, scooping Severus up in his arms again as he spoke. Ron and Hermione were the only students in the Infirmary Harry realised with relief as he carried Severus to the furthest away bed from his friends. Harry lowered the limp body of the Professor onto the hospital bed and removed the featherlight charm. Harry leant down and placed a soft kiss on Severus' lips, ran his fingers through the long black hair, pushing it out his face, and straightened his robes around him before he turned round to look for Madame Pomfrey. His gaze immediately fell on the shocked, reprimanding expression of his friend, who was now standing right behind him.

"Don't say a word 'mione!" Harry said with a scowl. He was in no mood for lectures about being more careful at the moment; he was too worried about Severus to listen.

Luckily, Madam Pomfrey arrived at Severus' bedside before Hermione could say anything.

"What happened Mr Potter? I hope this has something to do with Ron's potion accident rather than any stray magic you might have emitted," the stern medi-witch asked, as she peered at Severus pale face.

Harry flinched at the reminder.

"It was the potion accident. Professor Dumbledore asked me to bring him here," he answered whilst watching Pomfrey run diagnostic spells over Severus's body.

"He is indeed in a deep magically induced sleep, but I will not be reviving him quite yet. The error Mr Weasley made to cause his cauldron to explode has given the fumes a rather nasty side effect when the antidote is used. Professor Snape will just have to sleep it off."

"Will he be alright?" Harry asked.

"He will be Mr Potter. Once he stops hallucinating and thinking he can fly without a broom," Pomfrey said with no humour

Harry had actually meant Severus when he had asked the question, but he was glad his friend was going to be ok.

"Now come away from Professor Snape's bed. Visiting will be permissible this evening," Pomfrey instructed.

"Oh I am meeting the Headmaster here," Harry informed the scowling witch, and sat down in the chair beside Severus bed. He did not want to leave Severus until he knew he would be all right.

Pomfrey looked at Harry with undisguised surprise. "Very well, but only until Professor Dumbledore arrives, then you both must leave."

"Ok. Ermm...can you tell me how long it will be until Professor Snape wakens? It's just that the Headmaster and I were discussing something with him when the accident happened." Harry hoped Severus wouldn't be unconscious long; he really wanted to speak with him tonight.

"I will wake him in time for dinner," the stern witch answered curtly before striding back up the ward to check on Ron.

Harry got up from his chair, sat on the edge of Severus' bed, and placed his hand on the man's chest.

"Harry! You really need to be less...obvious about...whatever it is that's going on between you and him," Hermione hissed.

"Relax Hermione, there is no one else here," Harry said as he turned his attention back to Severus and realised that Severus really did look dead. "Hermione! He isn't breathing!" he exclaimed as anxiety gripped him.

"Draught of Living Death does cause some startling effects, Harry," the gentle voice of Dumbledore came from directly behind Hermione. Hermione gasped, but Harry did not take his eyes of Severus' chest. He couldn't worry about the Headmaster having maybe heard what Hermione has said. He was too concerned about Severus to care.

"Headmaster, he really isn't breathing. That can't be right! Are you sure he's going to be ok? I mean even wizards need to breathe! God he looks blue," Harry almost shrieked as his eyes flickered up to the relaxed face of the normally pale Professor, but he was beyond pale now.

A firm hand rested on his shoulder. "Harry, remember to control your fear. He will wake, I promise you, but you and I need to have a little chat first I think."

Harry let out a harsh breath, focused on controlling his anxiety and removed his hand from Severus' chest.

Reluctantly turning to look at Dumbledore, he said,

"Madame Pomfrey says he needs to sleep it off. She doesn't want to give him the antidote. Can we have our chat wait until he is awake?"

"No, I think we should talk without him. There are some other things we need to discuss without him in any case." Dumbledore turned to head back to the floo, but paused as he reached Hermione.

"Miss Granger, I presume it is unnecessary for me to warn you that you must keep certain matters to yourself?"

"Of course Sir, but I really don't know anything. I mean, what I said was just...well ..."

"I did not hear anything you said Miss Granger," he looked at Hermione silently for a moment before she blushed and dropped her eyes.

"I will leave you to take care of Mr Weasley. However, please do not hesitate to visit me anytime you feel like a cup of tea or a lemon sherbet." Dumbledore leaned in closer to the young witch and lowered his voice, "You know, sometimes a nice brew can be just the antidote to the unusual," he said cryptically, giving her a pointed look before nodding and striding off. Hermione watched the Headmaster stride over to the floo with a look of confusion flickering over her features.

"Come Harry, we will have our little chat in my office. I have opened the floo to you." Dumbledore said before stepping into the grate and dissappearing in a flash of flames. Harry took one last look at Severus, and resisting the urge to kiss him again, turned toward the fireplace.

"I think the Headmaster was trying to tell me something," Hermione said quietly, almost to herself.

"Yeah, that he likes tea and lemon sherbets. You have never had the chance to sample his hospitality, have you? You should take him up on his offer, it is...different!" Harry laughed.

Hermione nodded but looked at Harry rather strangely as she watched him floo out of the Infirmary.

1600hrs - Hogwarts Infirmary

Harry missed the rest of his classes that day. Instead, he spent his time examining his new ability with Dumbledore, and discussing the hunt for Horcruxes. As soon as he had escaped from the old man's office, he returned to the Infirmary under his invisibility clock, sat watching the still sleeping form of Severus and thought about what he had learnt. He had discovered that he could not break through Dumbledore's mind shields, or indeed plant anything in the old man's mind, even when he wasn't occluding, not unless his thoughts were about something he felt very strongly. He had only managed to get a thought about destroying Voldemort through, but that was all. Apparently it was still an unusual skill, but the Headmaster did not seem worried about it. In fact, he hadn't seemed overly surprised by it at all. The conversation had turned to the search and destruction of Horcruxes and how Dumbledore was getting on finding them. The Headmaster had informed him that he believed he had found the hiding place of another one and requested that Harry accompany him to retrieve it that night. Harry was excited about getting more involved with the fight against evil, and enthusiastically agreed. It meant he would only have until midnight to be with Severus, but he understood better than anyone, that destroying Voldemort was more important than anything else. Harry asked if the Headmaster if had any ideas as to the whereabouts of the remaining Horcruxes, but it quickly became apparent that Dumbledore, either did not have a clue where they were, or he was holding back information. The conversation had been the most open and frank Harry had ever had with the old man, but it had left Harry slightly unsettled. Not that he could explain why he felt the way he did, but he knew something was not quite right.

The stark white curtains surrounding Severus' bed were abruptly pulled back, snapping Harry out his thoughts. Holding his breath, he watched as Madam Pomfrey entered and administered a potion to her patient, and leave again. A few minutes later Severus stirred.

"Severus?" Harry whispered quietly, pulling of his cloak when Severus opened his eyes.

"Potter what the..."

"Shhh, drink this."

Harry pressed a potion that Pomfrey had left beside Severus' bed to his lips.

"Mr Potter I am perfectly capable of looking after myself. Now remove yourself from my bed," Severus grumbled, looking down at his white, hospital gown clad body in disgust.

"No. Drink this and I will think about it," Harry said resolutely. The surprise on Severus' face would have been funny if Harry wasn't so nervous about speaking to the man like this, but he wanted to take care of him, and the grumpy sod would just have to get used to the idea if they were going to be together.

"You really are the most annoying brat I have ever come across," Severus grumbled.

"I know, but you love me really," Harry said with a cheeky grin.

Severus growled.

"It was a joke, don't look so horrified. I am quite aware you don't like me that much!"

"Give me the bloody potion Potter," Severus snapped.

Harry held up the vial, but did not let go when the older wizard reached out to take it, and their fingers touched.

"Potter," Severus said slowly, a clear warning shining from his eyes.

"Promise me something Severus," Harry said unfazed by the intimidating glare.

"Promise you what?" Severus replied in a slow drawl.

"Promise me you will take me to your bed tonight. Just for tonight I want us to forget about the war and do what we want. I want us to be together." Harry's heart was hammering in his chest at being so forthright and blunt, but he needed for Severus to understand that he was serious about wanting to be with him. Severus dropped his eyes, and snatched away his hand on the vial.

"You have no idea what you are asking for Potter," Severus said quietly. Harry reached out and touched Severus face, running his thumb over the slightly parted lips.

"I want you Severus. I want us to have one night where we don't worry about tomorrow or the war or anything else. Just one night, is that too much to ask?"

"Yes it is you stupid boy. Now remove yourself from my bed before I throw you off." Severus gripped Harry's wrist and removed his hand from his face.

Harry dropped his eyes and stood, his anger at the man turning into desire so quickly that he hardly recognised it, but the rejection stung nonetheless. "If you have decided you don't want me, then fine, but there is no need to be such a git about it." Harry pulled his wrist out of Severus' grip and turned to leave, but Severus reached out and grabbed his arm before he got very far. Pained green eyes met with pools of black that radiated sadness.

"It is not you I am rejecting, you idiot, but I cannot give you what you want. To allow myself to feel anything other than contempt for you will effectively sign my death warrant. I have already allowed my defences to become too weak."

"At least give me a chance to talk to you about what has happened between us Severus, Please," Harry pleaded.

Severus sighed and let go of Harry's arm.

"Meet me after dinner tonight in the Potions classroom. I have some work to do, and we can talk, but do not expect anything more. Now give me some peace to get dressed."

Harry nodded unable to say anything. He was scared if he opened his mouth again, Severus would change his mind about even speaking to him.

1700 – Great Hall

Harry arrived for dinner before his friends and sat morosely pushing food about his plate. Severus had said some truly cruel things, but he realised he no longer could feel angry with the man. His anger was turning into a deep yearning to be with him that only increased when Snape spoke to him in his usual cruel way. The desire to be free of Voldemort's grip, for Severus to be free to feel again, consumed him. He knew he had the better end of the stick when it came to emotions and couldn't begin to imagine having to be angry and full of hate all the time, but yearning for something he couldn't have felt awful too.

Ron and Hermione arrived and sat opposite Harry. Hermione gave him a reproachful scowl and Ron glowered.

"Hey," Harry said frowning at the different, but equally unhappy looks on his friends faces.

Ron growled, looked away and grabbed food from the golden platter that had just appeared in front of him.

Harry shot Hermione a questioning glance who let out an exasperated sigh and dropped her eyes. "Ron heard you speaking with the other patient in the Infirmary earlier. He... is under the impression that...you have been hiding something from us."

Harry groaned and placed his head in his hands. "I don't want to talk about this just now."

"See! I told you it was him. He makes sick. I am going to sit somewhere else. You coming 'mione?"

"Ron! Harry is our friend and we will stick by him, whatever is going on in his life. Now sit down."

"I am not sitting next to that...traitorous poof. You can do what you like, but I am out of here," Ron spat and stalked off.

Harry couldn't feel angry at Ron. He understood that it must be difficult to find out his best friend was gay, but to find out he wanted to be with Snape must be incomprehensible to his friend.

"He will come round Harry, but you do need to be more careful," Hermione said reproachfully, although Harry could see a flicker of worry in her hazel eyes.

"Yeah I know, but I just don't feel like putting on a front anymore. I am...well, not happy exactly, but I have accepted who I am and what I want. If my friends don't like it, then tough, I will find other friends who can accept me."

"Harry! I am glad you are finally accepting yourself more, but you are being a bit harsh. Ron just needs time to adjust. It is a lot for us to take in, and as far as putting on a front - you have to! We are at war!" Hermione lowered her voice to a whisper and leant over the table, "You cannot be seen to be friendly with a known Death Eater, Harry."

"He is not a Death Eater, Hermione, as well you know," Harry said raising his voice slightly.

"Shh, keep your voice down. Merlin! You are seriously not thinking straight at the moment. I never said that was where his allegiances lay, but he is known as one!"

Harry growled in frustration "Fuck, do you think I don't know that, but I want him so badly. I really do. I know you must find that totally weird and fucked up, but there is so much other stuff going on in my head just now, I need him. He is the only person that really understands me, the only person that maybe can ever understand."

Hermione did not respond for a moment or two, she sat just staring at Harry with a look of concentration.

"I'm not hungry. Are you going to eat that?" Hermione said eventually, nodding to Harry's plate of roast beef and potatoes which had gone cold.

"No. I'm not hungry either," Harry replied pushing his plate away.

"Right, well come with me. I want to talk to you." Hermione stood and motioned to Harry to follow her.

Harry shot a glance up at the staff table. His gaze immediately going to Severus, who was watching him intently. Harry froze. The look of unadulterated lust in the man's eyes made his heart speed up.

"Harry!" Hermione hissed, grabbed his arm and pulled him away. She shot one of her scowls at Severus, who actually flinched and looked away, making Harry want to laugh.

"You are really impossible!" Hermione huffed as she dragged him out into the corridor. "You have to remember who you are and who he is Harry!"

"I know who we are Hermione!" Harry snapped.

Hermione pulled him into the ground floor girls' bathroom, checked they were alone and warded the door.

"What are you doing Hermione?" Harry asked, feeling a little on edge.

"I am a bit worried about you Harry. Are you really sure you want to be with Professor Snape, I mean really want to?"

"I have already told you that I do," Harry responded immediately "What's this about?"

"Have you slept with him?" Hermione asked bluntly.

"Hermione! Merlin, what kind of question is that. I mean God, I don't go asking you or Ron if you have shagged yet!"

Hermione sighed. "I know, but I am worried Professor Snape has...influenced you in some way. I know he is supposed to be on our side, but we must be on our guard from attack, even from those within the Order."

Harry gasped at the insinuation "He hasn't influenced me! Well not in the way you mean anyway. I know it must be a shock to you and Ron, but I am not interested in anyone else, he makes me feel stuff I have never felt before, and like you say we are in the middle of a war, none of us might be alive this time next year. I want to have at least one night where I can forget about all that. I want to be with him." Harry was getting a little frustrated at having to explain himself again.

Hermione pulled a small vial out her robe pocket and handed it to Harry with a determined look in her eyes "You won't mind taking this then," she said firmly.

Harry took the vial from her gingerly "What is it?" he asked.

"It's a potion that works in the same way as Finite Incantatem, but it not only stops all charms and curses, it removes any effects of Potions you may have ingested."

"Bloody Hell Hermione, I thought you were the one friend that would accept me for who I am. Do you really think preferring men is so abnormal that I must be under some spell or potion?"

"Of course not Harry! I really don't mind whether you prefer witches or wizards, but it was only a matter of days ago you hated Professor Snape, so much so you could have killed him. Now you appear to be having sex with him. It's not normal for one's feelings to change so quickly and dramatically. I am only trying to make sure you know what you are doing, I don't care if you have sex with him every night, well I do care because I want you to be happy, but I need to know it is you that wants these things. That you are not under the influence of some dark spell or potion!" Hermione sounded as equally frustrated as Harry felt.

Harry scowled at his friend then sighed when he saw the worry and determination in her eyes. He pulled the stopper out the vial. "If this will make you happy I will take it, but it won't change anything. He hasn't spiked my drink with a love potion or cast the imperius on me Hermione." Harry drank the disgusting gloop in one go and thrust the empty vial back at Hermione. It made him a little depressed that he had to take Potions to assure his friends that he was in his right mind, but he understood her reasoning.

"Well?" Hermione said.

An incredible sense of peace washed over Harry, "Well nothing, I still want him. In fact, I think I want him more. What the hell was that you just gave me?" he asked as his desire to be with Severus increased tenfold.

"It is a general antidote to most love potions and spells. Combined with...well I put in some of your Draught of Peace." Hermione blushed slightly at her confession. "I did it for your own good Harry. I am your friend and want to help you, but I can't if I am not sure you are in your right mind and are being made to want things you wouldn't normally," Hermione said a little sheepishly.

Harry groaned. A burning desire to be with Severus, to kill Voldemort and end the war, to have a less complicated life, stole over him all at once.

"Merlin, Hermione... that was really stupid and devious," Harry gasped as he tried to catch his breath against the ache in his heart, his yearnings became almost unbearable.

Hermione huffed and looked at Harry worriedly as he leant forward breathing heavily.

"How the hell did you get some of my potion anyway?" he asked, trying to concentrate on something other than his painful desires for things he couldn't have easily.

"I sneaked some into a vial when you were handing your sample to Professor Snape. I took it because I thought I could prove he was failing you, even when you had brewed a perfect potion."

Harry snorted and laughed a bitter sounding laugh "He didn't fail me on that potion Hermione! He didn't let me drink it because he knew how I felt about him. Just as he didn't allow you to drink your potion because he thought you might make a fool of yourself with Malfoy!"

Hermione hung her head "I am sorry, I only did what I thought was for the best. I will understand it if you are angry with me."

"I am not angry with you Hermione. I don't do angry, remember? I have to turn anger into desire. It's actually quite easy to do." Harry smiled trying to reassure his friend that he was ok with what she had done.

"Desire?" Hermione stepped back a little from Harry with a worried look on her face.

"Don't look so worried 'mione. Just because you do something that should make me angry, doesn't mean I want you like that! I just want this war to be over so my friends don't have to feed me bloody potions just because I want to shag someone!"

"Oh." Hermione relaxed again. "It's who you want to sleep with Harry that's the problem, I mean you did hate him for 6 years," Hermione said with a little laugh.

"I never hated him Hermione, not really, in fact, quite the opposite, I think," Harry said sadly.

Hermione looked at him with a confused frown but did not ask any further questions.

"Well if you are going to carry on seeing him, you have to work out a way to not be so obvious about it. The tension between the pair of you is pretty intense."

"The tension is only so bad because he is being a stubborn git and won't fuck me," Harry stated plainly.

"Harry!" Hermione shrieked in shock.

"Well you did ask if we had shagged yet, so I am telling you, we haven't. That's why there is so much tension. I swear he is driving me crazy, I don't think I will be able to get through this year if we don't shag soon. I mean Merlin, I think I have been hard for him for days, it is a bit distracting."

"That was a little more information than I really needed, but I am not sure starting a sexual relationship with him will make it any easier, surely it would just increase the problem."

"The problem cannot possibly get any worse," Harry said shifting uncomfortably on his feet as his erection throbbed. "Especially if I keep getting fed my bloody Draught of Peace," Harry muttered.

"Well you both need to find a way to hide your attraction for each other before people realise what's going on. There is already a load of talk about what happened in potions this morning, you both were really distracted, I mean apart from the way you looked at each other at the beginning of class, which was bad enough, he called you Harry for Merlin's sake and then he answered your question without you even asking it, not verbally anyway." Hermione crossed her arms giving Harry a look that he knew meant, I expect a full explanation.

"Oh shit. I had forgotten about that...emmm I can't explain. Not yet," Harry answered firmly.

Hermione huffed but did not push the issue "Well there is obviously more going on than I understand but whatever, you both have to start acting a little more normally around each other and if you think sleeping with him will dispel the tension as you put it, then I suggest you do so tonight before the pair of you rip each other's clothes off in public or something crazy. You know I really thought you were going to kiss , or something the other day in Defence and I can't be the only one that noticed!" Hermione screwed up her face at the memory.

"Hermione, you only noticed in Defence because you know me so well and because I already told you we'd snogged and stuff, but yeah it is getting a little out of hand, but I don't know how to make him relax and not worry so much. He thinks that what has happened between us has weakened his mind shields against Voldemort. Severus doesn't just occlude against him; he also uses the Controlled Emotion method I explained to you, but kind of in reverse to what I have to do. That's why he is so angry and full of hate all the time, that's why he speaks to me the way he does. Voldemort doesn't expect his Death Eaters to feel anything positive, so he has to change any positive emotion into its polar opposite."

Hermione frowned, "That's awful Harry but surely he could just occlude any memories of being with you?"

"I think that's what he is trying to do, but the problem is that Voldemort expects to see and feel Severus' hate for me. Having these memories is making it more difficult for him to do that."

Hermione had that look she had when she was thinking about a complex problem. Her brow furrowed a little and her eyes became unfocused.

"What are you thinking Hermione?"

"Well...I am not sure this will help, but I read somewhere that there was a way to temporarily remove and store memories for short periods of time. Sort of similar to collecting memories for viewing in a pensieve but the person they are collected from has no conscious memory of them once they are removed. I found it when trying to work out a way to Obliviate my parents in a way that wasn't so risky, but it wasn't suitable for that because you can only store them for up to a month at a time before they die and can never be returned. At least with Obliviate there is always some hope the memory can be restored, even if it is dangerous," Hermione said sadly.

"I'm sorry Hermione." Harry felt guilty for spending so much time thinking about his relationship with Severus, when his friends were willing to sacrifice everything to help with the war effort.

"Don't be, it had to be done," Hermione said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah but it makes me feel a complete selfish git for spending so much time thinking about something so trivial as having a relationship with... anyone actually," Harry said hanging his head, a little ashamed of himself, even though it did nothing to reduce his arousal that still coursed through him.

"Harry stop blaming yourself for everything, it was selfish of me to Oblivate my parents without giving them the choice, but I had to know they were safe, and just because I am in a relationship with Ron, doesn't mean I am any less committed to the war effort. We all need someone, and you deserve some happiness too. If you think Professor Snape can give you what you need, then you have to go for it, but I am not sure sleeping with him will make your problem any easier. You might end up feeling more for him if you do."

"I only want to have one night with him, Hermione. I can worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes."

"That is not always the wisest philosophy Harry," Hermione said reproachfully.

"It was Dumbledore that told me to do exactly that this afternoon. He said I should enjoy myself whilst I had the chance, and I think he is right," Harry said dismissively, "Do you think Severus will know about this memory removal spell or whatever it is?" Harry asked hopefully.

"He might but it was in a rather old obscure book. I can try to find it again if you want, although I am not sure I should have told you about it now," Hermione said worriedly.

"If you find it, will you bring it down to me in the dungeons?" Harry asked pleadingly, ignoring Hermiones obvious discomfort at the idea now.

"I suppose so," she agreed grudgingly.

"Thanks Hermione, you really are the best!" Harry grabbed her and kissed her on the cheek before darting out the bathroom, vaguely aware that Hermione was muttering something about hoping she had done the right thing.

1800hrs – Potions Classroom

Harry barged into the Potions classroom.

"Severus!" he exclaimed excitedly as he entered. Immediately regretting doing so the moment his eyes met with those of the Headmaster. Severus froze and glared at Harry, his eyes calling him all the names for stupid under the sun.

"Ah Harry. Come in my boy. Did Miss Granger find you?" Dumbledore asked with a smile.

"Yes I saw her," Harry answered scowling. It was his idea to feed me the bloody potion Harry thought. A nice brew can be the antidote to the unusual...indeed. He really is a sly old coot.

"I am glad you have such good friends," Dumbledore said quietly. The sad glint in his eyes did not match his smile or his words.

"Headmaster, I... emm ...I came to ask Professor Snape some questions, but they are not important, so I can come back later." Harry turned to leave, but the Headmaster stopped him.

"No need, Harry. I was just leaving anyway."

Dumbledore nodded at Severus, but before he left he said, "Enjoy your evening boys, but I must urge you to be a little more circumspect about the change that has occurred in your relationship. The school is abuzz with the wildest of rumours you know, and I generally find that stranger the gossip, the truer it is." The sadness in Dumbledore's eyes deepened, before adding "Oh and Harry, please do try to get some sleep. You will need your rest for what lies ahead."

Harry flushed a bright red at what the Headmaster was implying and shuffled his feet unsure of what to say. He had no intention of sleeping before meeting with him later that night, and had the feeling that the old man knew that.

The headmaster raised an eyebrow then turned and left.

"Senile old fool," Severus growled, once the door closed leaving Harry and Severus alone.

Harry snorted, "He is not as senile as he makes out Severus."

He almost told Severus about Hermione and the potion but decided against it. It was bound to anger the Potions Master, and it would give him another excuse for not listening to what he had to say.

"He might not be senile, but he obviously believes there may be some truth to the idiotic rumours." Severus said in a resigned voice.

"Well, the ones that I have heard are kind of true. At least he doesn't seem to be too bothered about us being together," Harry said smiling.

"There is no us Potter, and we are not together! Whatever that meddling old fool thinks, there can never be an us. I should never have acted on my utterly inappropriate affections toward you. I do not know what in Merlin's name I was thinking."

"Ah so you admit you feel something for me, that kissing me did mean something?"

"It meant nothing Potter." Severus snapped, but the desire in his eyes belied his true emotion.

"I know that's not true." Harry stepped closer to his Professor who stood rigidly in front of his desk.

"I don't care whether you believe me or not, but tonight we must discuss the matter of your disturbing ability to push your thoughts into my mind."

"I am not talking to you about that Severus. I have discussed it with Dumbledore, and I am not worried about my ability. It appears I can only push thoughts into another's mind when I really want or need something."

"I am aware of your discussions with the old fool, but I need you to try to push something into my mind again. I need to find a way to keep you out."

Harry sighed and closed his eyes. I want you to fuck me Severus.

Severus growled, anger clear in his eyes "You stupid little twit! You must stop this nonsense. It is not helping. I need to be able to keep you out."

"Not until you agree to fuck me Severus. I know you want to."

"Whether I want to or not, is not the issue here. You are being totally insufferable and making this more difficult than it already is."

"Look, I just told you, I cannot push any old thought into someone's mind. I could not breach Dumbledore's shields, in fact, even when he stopped Occluding I couldn't get anything through unless I thought about something I am passionate about."

Severus narrowed his eyes in disbelieve "So you are saying that if you tried to make me believe I wanted to kill someone, for example, you couldn't do it?"

"No I couldn't, since that is not what I want. I have to really want what it is I am thinking for it to transfer over. If I truly wanted you to kill someone, then maybe I could, but I haven't tried to make my thoughts seem like those of the person I am transferring them to, so I am not sure it would work. Anyway, I do not want to control anyone's thoughts. I can only let you hear my thoughts because it is something I truly desire."

"I see," Severus said quietly sitting down abruptly. He sat in silence for a few seconds looking at his hands, obviously deep in thought before he raised his eyes and looked at Harry again. "So you really want to be with me?" he asked incredulously.

Harry moved closer to Severus until he was standing right in front of him before he answered.

"Yes I do," he answered quietly.

Severus dropped his eyes, "I cannot give you what you want. I should never have kissed you. I should have never allowed anything to happen between us. It was a serious error in judgement, an error that must not be repeated."

Harry lost the battle with his hands, which had been itching to reach out and touch Severus and cupped one hand under Severus' chin making him look back up at Harry again.

"What if I told you that I could make you hate me again by tomorrow morning?" Harry asked softly.

Severus gripped Harry's wrist and removed his hand from his face, but did not let him go.

"I do not think I could ever truly hate you again, no matter what idiotic plans you cook up to annoy me. I am finding it difficult now and we have only kissed and touched a little, if we take it any further I fear I will become completely undone."

There was a deep sadness in Severus' eyes, but Harry smiled. It was the closest he was ever going to get to Severus admitting he did have feelings for him.

"What if your memory of being with me could be removed?" Harry asked, moving his hand into the cooler one and lacing his fingers through Severus'.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said how about if the...".

"I heard what you said Potter but have you completely lost your mind? I am not going to allow you to Obliviate me!" Severus pulled his hand out of Harry's grasp.

"I am not suggesting we use Obliviate," Harry clarified.

"What are you gibbering about Potter? I will not entertain any more of your foolishness."

Harry closed his eyes. I want you more than I have ever wanted anything Severus. Please listen to me.

Harry opened his eyes nervously wondering if Severus would be angry at pushing his thoughts into his mind again, but there was no anger in the black eyes that met his just a burning desire that made Harry shiver.

"Just one night Severus. Apparently there is a way to remove memories temporarily. Hermione found it when she was looking for a less dangerous way to Obliviate her parents'. It's in an old book about memory charms."

"Why on earth would Granger want to Obliviate her parents?"

"I'm not sure it's my place to tell you that, but I am sure she would, if you asked her. However, the point is, she found a way to remove memories temporarily, so that there is no recollection of them."

Severus' frowned, "I am aware of such a charm, but I have never had the occasion where I thought it necessary, and this situation is not as simple as hiding memories. It is not the hiding of memories that I have a problem with. My Occlumency shields, thankfully, are still intact. However, my current inability to change positive emotion to negative, is what is causing the problem, regarding you at least, and ironically you are the only person the Dark Lord expects me to hate."

"But you just need to remove any memories that make it difficult for you to hate me before going to Death Eater meetings, then you would have no problem feeling hate for me as you always have."

Severus' brow furrowed.

Harry nodded "I really want this, Severus. Surely we deserve at least one night before the war kicks off properly. One night to do what we want and forget about the war."

Severus sighed heavily. "I can understand you want to have a bit of fun before the war starts in earnest, but you could have anyone one you want. You don't need me."

"I don't want anyone else. I only want you."

"Why on earth do you want your old greasy git of a Potions Master? I have made your life almost unbearable for the last 6 years, and I am an Ex-Death eater, for Merlin's sake. I think you really have lost your mind," Severus said scowling.

"Stop it. You are not old, and you are not greasy, not when you have washed that crap out your hair anyway, and you have had to be a git to me. I understand that. In fact, it's partly why I like you so much. I mean yeah, you used to anger he shit out of me, but you make always made me feel safe, and you understand me better than anyone else. You are smart and powerful and are the bravest man I have ever known, and you are no Death Eater. I doubt you really ever were, not in your heart where it really matters." Harry moved closer to Severus as he spoke, gingerly straddling his legs before sitting down in his lap.

"Life is too short to worry about tomorrow Severus." Harry leaned forward and pressed his lips against Severus' closed, resisting ones.

Severus remained tense and unyielding but did not push Harry away.

"Please Severus," Harry whispered against Severus' lips

The tension suddenly seemed to flood out of the older wizard. He let out a long breath, let go of his tight grip on the arms of the chair in which he sat, and pulled Harry closer, wrapping his arms around his waist.

Harry couldn't help but smile as he kissed the now unresisting, welcoming lips.

Severus broke the kiss a minute or so later just as it was becoming more passionate and looked at Harry with eyes that appeared darker than Harry had ever seen them. The pupils were so dilated, that there was only a small slither of black iris around the gaping hole and Harry was mesmerised by them.

"You look...sexy as hell like this."

Severus grunted in dismissal and pushed Harry off his lap.

"Severus?" Harry's stomach twisted in apprehension thinking Severus was going to tell him to leave, but the worry disappeared as soon as he was grabbed roughly by the hand and pulled out of the classroom, through the office and into Severus' private rooms.

1830hrs – Snape's Private quarters.

The door closed behind them with a bang and Severus pulled off Harry's outer robes, removed his tie, ripped open his shirt, and kissed him with such passion that Harry thought he might come from that alone. Harry tried to remove Severus robes, but there were too many buttons, making Harry growl in frustration.

"Rip them Harry," Severus whispered urgently against the skin of his neck where he had been sucking and biting at the delicate flesh.

Harry gasped. The lack of control and deep tone of Severus voice made his cock harden further from its already aroused state, and he pulled hesitantly at the rough fabric of the black robes, ripping the open. The silky soft material of the white shirt beneath clung to Severus toned body, and the sight of it made Harry even more desperate to remove any material that stopped his hands from running over bare flesh. He ripped open the shirt with less caution and the small buttons scattered to the marble floor, making a tinkling sound as they landed. Syrus hissed urgently, but Harry wasn't interested in what the Snake had to say; he was too absorbed in his task of removing Severus' clothes. As soon as both men were naked from the waist up, Severus pulled Harry into a tight embrace. The heat radiating between their heaving chests enveloped them in mutual desire, and sparked a deep burning fire of need in Harry that made his chest constrict.

"Fuck Severus, I need you now," Harry panted in a deep, broken voice that sounded foreign even to his own ears. Their eyes locked in an intense exchange of unspoken mutual understanding and held onto each other as though their life depended on not letting go. Severus lowered his hands and gripped Harry's arse, pulling him in and upward, causing Harry to hold on tighter to the naked shoulders' above him as he was lifted up. He wrapped his legs around Severus' waist and was carried like this through to the bedroom. Some of the desire in Severus' eyes had been replaced with an urgent, questioning look by the time they approached his bed, and Harry pushed into Severus mind trying to reassure him: I really want this Severus, I really want you, he sent.

Severus groaned at the intrusion and captured Harry's lips in a bruising kiss as he collapsed forward onto the bed, trapping Harry beneath him, his legs stayed wrapped around Severus' waist. They lay like this kissing passionately for some time, but Severus broke the kiss and rolled off Harry abruptly. Groaning loudly, in protest at the loss of contact, Harry turned on his side to face Severus, and shuffled closer to him, rubbing himself against Severus' side, but he was gently pushed away.

"Stay on your back Harry, and keep your hands above your head," Severus said huskily as though he was struggling for air.

As soon as Harry did what Severus asked, his lips were captured again in a slow smouldering kiss and cool hands explored his chest in firm confident strokes.

"Oh god" Harry gasped into Severus' mouth when Severus pinched one of his nipples, and rolled it to hardness between his thumb and forefinger causing shots of electricity to run straight from his nipple to his groin.

Severus broke away from Harry mouth and ran his tongue down the path his hands had just travelled, sucking the pink nubs into his mouth one after the other, nipping them between his teeth, and flicking his tongue over them. Harry had no idea that his nipples could be so sensitive and arched his back into the touch.

Severus opened his eyes and looked up at Harry with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Never had you nipples sucked mmm?"

"Mmm stop talking Severus, and touch me." Severus obliged by running his hands down over Harry's chest again. This time they travelled lower, undoing the button and zip of his jeans quickly before palming Harry's hard length through his cotton boxers. Harry to thrust up into the exploring hand; his cock was desperate for more friction, but frustratingly Severus withdrew his hand, smirked up at him and pushed himself up into a kneeling position.

"Merlin Severus, don't stop!" Harry gasped as he wiggled his hips, trying to free himself from his trousers.

"I don't intend to, unless you ask me to." Severus looked at Harry with an arched eyebrow.

Harry just laughed and wiggled his arse more.

"Lift your hips for me." Severus instructed.

Harry did what he asked and watched as Severus pulled down his trousers and boxers until they were just below his knees. His cock now sat pulsing on his abdomen; the engorged head already leaking pre-cum. Harry toed off his shoes, allowing Severus to pull his trousers off completely, and watched as he threw them to the floor. Severus licked his lips and groaned softly as he looked at Harry's dripping cock.

"I want to see you Severus," Harry breathed out. His heart was pounding, and his control was starting to wear thin. He wasn't sure if he could keep his hands above his head much longer. He stretched up and gripped onto the bottom of the headboard just to be holding something although he really wanted to be either touching himself or ripping Severus' remaining clothes off and touching him.

Severus nudged Harry's legs further apart, knelt between them, and slowly began undoing the buttons on his own trousers. As Severus' cock came into view, Harry stared at the hard member. Veins pulsed along its thick length and it pointed out and slightly upward in its aroused state. Severus removed his clothes completely and slowly wrapped a hand around his own cock, watching Harry's face as he did so.

Harry let out a gasp at the sight of the man touching himself and the need to touch his own engorged cock became too much. One of his hands broke free from its grip on the headboard, and flew to his groin, but Severus quickly flicked away the offending hand.

"Pleasuring you, is my job tonight Harry," Severus whispered silkily as he swooped down to kiss Harry again. Every nerve ending was screaming to be touched, and Harry was slightly worried he would lose control too soon. Severus gently lowered his weight onto Harry's body, deliciously trapping his cock between his abdomen and Severus' tight stomach. Harry erratically thrust into the hard muscles, but Severus ran his hands down Harry's sides, gripped his thrusting hips and pinned them down to the bed, stopping his movements. Keeping the restraining hold on his hips, Severus began to explore Harry's body with his mouth by sucking, biting and liking every inch of Harry's willing flesh from neck to nipples. Harry thought he was going to go insane with the pleasure coursing through his body and started to fight against the restraining hands at his hips. In response, Severus changed position by sliding his body further down the bed. Running his tongue over the thin line of black hair that went from Harry's naval to the thick, wiry thatch surrounding his cock as he went. His hot heavy breath wafted over the cooler skin of his hard shaft and balls making Harry let out a low rumbling growl and fight harder against the restraining hands on his hips. Severus ignored Harry's struggle to free his hips and ran his tongue softly up the underside of Harry's cock.

"Holy fuck!" Harry groaned loudly and lifted his head off the pillow to look down at Severus just as his tongue flicked over the collection of precum that had gathered in his slit. Harry's balls tightened at the sight. "Shit, Severus, I don't think I can last long if you keep doing that." Harry panted. Severus looked up at him with an amused smirk, sucked the head of his cock into the warm, moist cavern of his mouth, and massaged the sensitive glans in firm circling strokes with his tongue.

Oh my Fucking God! Professor Snape has my cock in his mouth! Harry thought as the absurdness of the situation hit home.

Severus sucked in more of his throbbing length until his whole shaft was buried to the base, and his throat muscles massaged the tip as it was swallowed down. Severus set a slow but firm pace of moving his mouth up and down Harry's rigid length; sucking hard and dragging his teeth gently over the shaft on the up stroke.

"Oh shit!" Harry screamed as his head fell back against the pillow with his eyes squeezed shit. The sensation of having his cock sucked was overwhelming.

Harry fought to open his eyes; he wanted to watch what Severus was doing. He had never seen or felt anything as amazing as his cock disappearing in and out of that beautiful mouth, and he knew he wasn't going to last long. Severus thrust his own hardness into the mattress, making him groan around his mouthful. The vibration caused intense waves of sensation to rumble through Harry's already tight balls.

"Oh Fuck Sev!" Harry reached down and pulled Severus hair, trying to warn him that he was about to come, but Severus only intensified the pressure from his tongue and quickened his pace. Every muscle in Harry's body tensed as his orgasm rushed over him suddenly. It exploded in a wave of extreme pleasure that made him unable to breathe as pulse after pulse of his seed spurt out his cock straight down Severus throat. As the last wave broke over him, Severus let go of his hips, pulled his mouth back over the sensitive glans, and gripped his shaft with one hand. Harry thrust into the tight fist that was now milking the last of his seed onto the eager tongue lapping at the head, tasting him. Harry couldn't drag his eyes away from the look of ecstasy that crossed Severus features.

When the last wave of pleasure finally passed, Harry slumped back onto the bed with his muscles quivering and breathing ragged. Severus quickly changed position, kneeling up between his legs enabling him to grasp his own dripping cock. l struggled to catch his breath wanting to tell Severus not to touch himself, but no words came out, instead, he quickly reached down and tried to pull Severus' hand away, but the older man just grunted and rolled onto his side away from Harry's reach.

"I...want...to touch you," Harry managed to gasp.

"Not yet" Severus answered gruffly, his eyes closed with an expression of concentration as he lay squeezing the base of his prick in a tight ring made from his thumb and forefinger. Harry reached out and cupped Severus face in his hand and ran his thumb over the red lips.

Who would ever believe that this normally sneering mouth could give such mind shattering pleasure? Harry thought.

Severus opened his eyes and looked deep into Harry's. The desire and lust was still burning in the glittering black depths.

"I'm sorry Severus. I just couldn't hold on any longer. Please let me touch you."

Severus snorted, "You held on longer than I thought you would, Harry. You have nothing to be sorry about, I wanted you to come, and the night isn't over yet. " Severus raised a suggestive eyebrow.

"Oh." Harry felt a bit silly and inexperienced and frowned a little.

"Why are you frowning? Do you have somewhere else you would rather be?" The humour in Severus' eyes blinked out.

"Fuck no! It's just that...well, I feel a little...mmm... inexperienced and I want you to enjoy this too." Harry carded his fingers gently through Severus' hair trying to reassure him how much he wanted him.

"You really are incurably dim aren't you?" Severus said mildly, leaning forward and kissing him on the forehead. "You really have no idea how much I want you, do you? How, just having you here in my bed, is more than I ever expected to have?"

Harry's frown deepened "So did you want me before the beginning of this term, you know, before our lessons?"

"I...I had feelings for you yes." Severus admitted a little grudgingly.

"Oh ok..." Harry wasn't sure how this confession made him feel. He wasn't sure if it creeped him out, that his Professor had feelings for him before he was an adult.

"Don't look so surprised and worried. I did not think of you in any inappropriate way prior to this term. I merely realised that I cared for you after I got to know you a little better during your Occlumency lessons."

"So why did it change this term?" Harry asked, but wasn't overly worried about the reasons now, he really didn't need to know, but was interested none-the-less.

"I could ask you the same thing, but for me, you have become a very attractive young man. When I kissed you that first time, and you responded the way you did, something changed. However, I believe the real question is what has made you want me?"

Harry leaned forward and pressed his lips to Severus', tasting himself, his cock twitching at the memory of having just been devoured by them only a few minutes previously, making him deepen the kiss. Severus pushed him back slightly, breaking the contact.

"Why do you want me Harry?" Severus asked again quietly. Harry looked down at Severus chest and ran his hands over the pale skin, watching the nipples harden as his fingers passed over them.

"I have already told you why Severus. I can't explain it any better than I did earlier. I just do, I can't imagine being this at peace with anyone else. I don't want anyone else."

"You will have to learn to want another and forget about me. You do understand why this must be the case?"

"We will worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes, but like you say, the night is still young, so I think it's your turn," Harry said looking up with a cheeky grin. Severus rolled his eyes in mock consternation, pushed Harry onto his back, snaked a strong arm under him and flipped him onto his front.

Severus straddled his hips; his still hard cock rested against the top of Harry's arse.

"Accio oil" Severus muttered wandlessly.

Harry tensed slightly, the thought of Severus fucking him was something he still wanted, especially if they were only going to have this one night together, but he was a little worried about how painful it might be now that it was actually going to happen.

"Relax Harry. I am not going to do anything that you are not fully ready for," Severus said softly running his hands over his tense back.

Harry nodded into the pillow, feeling a little embarrassed and immature for being nervous about something he wanted.

Severus stilled behind him "Look at me." he said quietly.

Harry lifted his burning face off the pillow, twisted his upper body to the side and looked into Severus' deep black eyes.

"We do not have to have full penetrative sex. It is not all there is to making...tonight enjoyable." Severus said softly.

"I know, but I want to Severus, I really do. I'm just a bit nervous I suppose. Good nervous," Harry clarified.

"That is to be expected. Just relax and let your body lead you. You must tell me if I do something you do not like. Agreed?"

Harry smiled and nodded feeling a bit less worried now.

There was a popping sound as the stopper on the vial of oil Severus had summoned, was pulled out. Severus dripped the cool liquid teasingly down Harry's spine from his hairline to the crack in his arse. The contrasting warmth of the hands that ran over the trail of oil moments later made Harry shiver.

"Are you cold?" Severus asked.

"No, just feels good," Harry answered, relaxing further into the mattress.

Severus firmly massaged the oil into Harry's shoulders and neck, working out all the tension. An earthy, musky smell invaded Harry's senses, "Mmm. Smells nice," he muttered.

"It is a plain base oil with an equal combination of Patchouli and Bergamot, both of which are known for their relaxation properties." Severus said in almost a lecturing tone.

"Is Patchouli not used in most love potions?" Harry asked.

"Yes, but its use here, is not for that purpose. When mixed with Bergamot it concentrates the relaxation elements of that particular ingredient. Indeed in most love potions, the Pat..." Harry cut off Severus' lecture.

"All right Severus I get the idea. Let's not talk about potions tonight," Harry chortled.

Severus grumbled something under his breath but continued massaging every inch of Harry's back. By the time he reached the top of his arse, Harry felt as though he was boneless, all tension now gone.

"Turn over," Severus instructed as he knelt up, but remained straddling his hips.

Complying eagerly, Harry flipped over to face Severus, and allowed his eyes to wander over the pale skin before reaching down to curl his hand around his thick cock. Slowly pulling back on the silky skin, he watched as Severus closed his eyes. A low grunting breath escaped him as his cock hardened to its full length under Harry's touch, but Harry only stroked the throbbing member twice before Severus reached down and removed his hand.

"Not yet." Severus instructed, his voice deep and broken.

"But I really want to touch you," Harry pleaded.

Severus ignored Harry's pleas, ran his oily hands over his chest, and rubbed his hard sensitive nipples sending shocks through Harry's relaxed body. The warm hands left him for a moment as they snatched up the oil again. Drops were slowly drizzled onto each nipple and dripped down to his navel.

"You are stunning," Severus muttered to himself with a distant look in his eyes that had an element of sadness to it.

The look of sadness unsettled Harry a little and he wanted to know what was wrong.

"Why are you sad Severus?"

Severus quickly snapped out of his reverie, re-stoppered the vial of oil, placed it on the bedside table and looked up at Harry.

"Not sad just...thinking," he replied plainly with no real emotion.

Harry knew Severus was thinking about how crazy and dangerous being with him was, but he wanted Severus to completely lose himself just for one night and didn't know what to do to make him relax so did the only thing he knew and reaching up, circled his arms around Severus' neck, and pulled him down for a heated kiss. Harry's cock, which had recovered slightly during the back rub, thickened and lengthened from its half hard state and stood proud against his abdomen when Severus' cock brushed over it. A jolt over electricity ran through his entire body, making him groan. Severus sat up again, but refused to look Harry in the eye as his hands resumed their firm massaging motion on Harry's chest.

"Severus, look at me" Harry requested.

Severus' eyes slowly looked up and met Harry's gaze.

"Stop over analysing everything Severus. We will work out the memory charm, and everything will be fine. Even without it, I am sure I could make you hate me again easily enough if I had to. I want you to just let go and be yourself just for tonight. Please."

Severus sighed "I fear it is too late to ever feel hatred toward you again Harry, regardless of what memory charms your friend Granger finds or schemes you cook up to make my life a misery, but I will find a way to make it look as though I do, it is not that I am thinking about."

"Tell me what is wrong"

"It is nothing." Severus ran his hands quickly down Harry's chest, slowly lowered his body onto him, covering Harry in a delicious heat. The oil made their bodies slide against each other easily and Severus moved and shifted his position aligning their hips. Hard cocks met and rubbed together making both men groan. All thoughts of hate and tomorrow disappeared, as passion overtook them both. Severus sucked in Harry's lower lip and teased it with his teeth before plunging his tongue into his mouth. The slow probing of tongues increased in urgency as their oil slicked bodies slid over each other, and their cocks thrust together between their abdomens.

Harry thought having his cock in Severus' mouth was the most erotic thing ever, but this was something entirely different. The blow job had been urgent and desperate, but the slow building sensation that now gripped him took his breath away in its slow intimacy.

Severus pulled away from his mouth, buried his face beside his ear, and hissed in harsh breaths on each thrust; muttering something Harry couldn't make out over the nonsense words coming from his own mouth. The sound of the deep voice in his ear, however, made Harry shiver. Severus really did have a voice that made Harry want him to talk in his ear like that forever.

Severus suddenly slowed his thrusting and sat up on his knees between Harry's legs. Harry almost screamed at the loss of contact and grabbed Severus by the arms, pulling him back down.

"I'm so close Sev, please don't stop," he muttered incoherently as he thrust up against him again, but Severus pulled away out his grasp.

"Severus?" Harry stuttered.

"Shh Harry, just relax." Severus lifted up Harry's legs and pressed them into his chest. Unable to move in this position, Harry watched as Severus let go of one of his legs, ran his fingers over his puckered entrance and muttered something Harry didn't understand. A strange feeling shot through him; a tingling sensation that was not entirely pleasant, but it passed quickly, as the exploring fingers continued caressing the sensitive flesh.

"Oh god" Harry breathed out. Sparks of electricity ran up his spin from his arse.

The fingers disappeared and Harry watched as Severus caught a small glass jar in his hand he had obviously summoned wordlessly. The jar was opened quickly, and Severus dipped his fingers in to a thick gel like substance before resuming his slow, firm caresses, never breaking his gaze from Harry's face. The finger caressed for a few moments before pushing gently against his entrance. Harry tensed ever so slightly.

"Tell me to stop now if this is not..." Harry cut Severus off, by pushing down against the probing finger making the tip slip inside him.

"I won't break Severus," he said pushing down harder. The finger slid past the tight ring of muscle and Harry hissed at the sensation but not in pain. Severus slowly moved the finger around inside him before bringing it almost all the way back out. When he pushed it back in, he bent it slightly toward his abdomen, brushing the spot Harry had found himself that morning when masturbating, causing him to grunt in pleasure as a jolt of electricity shot through him. Severus smirked down at him, raising his eyebrows seductively before thrusting back in, curling the finger more, and pressing that delicious spot harder.

"Oh My God" Harry stuttered as sensation overtook his body. It had not been this good when he touched himself and he wanted more. His back arched, and his hips thrust down onto the intruding digit harder, encouraging Severus to go deeper and faster. Severus withdrew his finger in response, quickly replacing it with two. Harry felt a slight burning sensation, but continued to push back; the burning was worth the pleasure that accompanied it. Two fingers were replaced with three after a few minutes of Harry begging Severus for more, but as a third finger was added his movements stilled; the burning turned to pain causing him to tense.

Severus stopped all movement "Relax, Harry. It will hurt but not for long. I promise," his voice was ragged and broken as he spoke.

Severus gently removed his fingers, gripped one of Harry's legs, and pushed him back over onto his front. One arm slid under his waist, pulling his up onto his hands and knees, as the other ran over the bumps in Harry's spine. The gentleness of the touch sent shivers through Harry, and when it reached his arse, he eagerly pushed back against the probing fingers. The new position was less painful Harry realised, but all thought and discomfort disappeared when the fingers pushed down onto his prostate. In this position, the pleasure from the touch was even more intense, and Harry let out a loud grunt as sparks of electricity coursed through him. Severus spread his fingers inside him, streching the muscles carefully before he began thrusting in and out of his body, touching that spot on every second or third thrust. Once Harry was completely relaxed, he started pushing back against Severus hand, urging him for more. His forgotten about cock dripped onto the sheets below him, but right now Harry wanted to feel Severus in him more than he wanted his cock to be touched.

"Fuck...Sev...want...you," Harry stuttered out in-between grunting thrusts.

Severus removed his fingers and dipped them back into the jar of lubricant sitting beside them. Harry turned his head to the side to look at Severus who was slowly stroking himself, covering his cock in the wet lubricant. Harry gasped at the sight. The look in Severus' eyes was so intense with emotion that Harry couldn't even begin to describe it, but it made his stomach flip over as feelings of peace and belonging stole through him. Severus moved forward on his knees slightly with one hand still on his cock and aligned himself up at Harry's entrance. His other arm wrapped around Harry's waist and pulled him up and back slightly. Burning black eyes locked onto Harry's, as a hand slowly wrapped around his forgotten about cock at the same time as the cock at his entrance entered him. Only the head of Severus' cock had breached the outer ring of muscle guarding his hole, but pain and pleasure rushed through Harry in a confusing mix making him cry out, close his eyes and hold his breath.

"Breath Harry. Push back against me when you are ready." Severus spoke with difficultly, his voice quivering slightly either with emotion or because he was struggling to remain still. Harry wasn't sure which, but Severus didn't thrust into him any further; his only movement a slow circular motion of his thumb as it caressed the engorged head on Harry's pulsating cock. Harry breathed out and relaxed against the hot intruding member and pushed back. Severus gave him full control over the pace at which his cock entered him, and Harry marvelled at the man's control as he felt his arse stretch to accommodate the hard length. The burning pain was intense, but he wanted this so much that he kept pushing back, at a steady even pace until his arse cheeks pressed up against Severus' abdomen. With Severus' cock now fully buried in him, Harry let out a long, harsh breath, and remained still whilst trying to adjust to the incredible feeling of fullness in his arse. It still hurt, but his heart was pounding from all the emotions running through him. He felt so complete and connected to Severus that he wanted to capture this moment forever. He turned his head to the side again to look at the man behind him, who, at that moment had his eyes closed and his brow furrowed in concentration. To see the normally angry, spiteful man lost in pleasure, whilst maintaining control as to not inflict any unnecessary pain made Harry's heart swell with an unidentified emotion. Severus' eyes opened and locked on Harry's. There was no hint of any negative emotion in the deep black pools; they swam with a warmth that Harry thought he could actually feel surround him. Maintaining the eye contact, Severus withdrew from him half way and slowly pushed back in causing Harry to hiss as the pain spiked.

"Tell me to stop now, if this is too painful for you Harry. I might not be able to soon."

"Please stop worrying, Severus." Harry wiggled his arse slightly to encourage Severus to continue.

Severus grunted and let go of Harry's cock, which he had been slowly stroking the whole time maintaining his erection through the pain, and grabbed his hips before withdrawing almost completely and thrusting back in slowly. Harry felt himself stretch further as his muscles relaxed and the pain subsided a bit. Severus continued moving in and out him slowly, until the sensation of being filled became pleasant and the pain was almost gone. Severus, leant forward and covered Harry's back with his chest, sucked his neck, curled a hand around Harry's cock again and began stroking it, more firmly this time. Harry groaned and lost himself in the sensations coursing through his body from being fucked in time to his cock being stroked. Severus removed his mouth from Harry's neck. The ragged breath against his wet skin added to the pleasure washing through him.

"Do you still want to be fucked hard Harry?" Severus whispered in his ear, the sound of the deep, broken voice made Harry shudder, and a bolt of electricity shot straight to his groin.

"Fuck yes! Harry panted. He needed to come soon. His balls were tight and drawn up, and the familiar sensation of impeding release crept closer.

Severus let go of Harry's cock, and gripped his hips; the fingers digging into the soft flesh. Harry mourned the loss of the warm, oily hand around his cock, but soon forgot about it when Severus withdrew from him completely and slammed back into him hard Severus' cock hammered into his prostate as he did so. Harry screamed and pushed back against Severus as the sensation from being fucked made his mind completely blank of all thought. Severus kept the overall pace slow, but each thrust back in was hard, pounding against that spot inside him until Harry thought he could come without his cock needing to be touched again.

"Faster Sev...Fuck me faster," Harry pleaded between thrusts, urging Severus on by pushing his arse against him.

Severus grunted something that sounded like shit and picked up his pace, pounding into Harry hard and fast.

"Oh, yes...fuck...Sev...yes!" g babbled incoherently and constantly as Severus fucked him. That place deep inside him was hit hard on almost every stroke, making Harry's vision blur and his breathing come in shallow gasps.

Suddenly, Severus snaked an arm around Harry's middle, pulled him up onto his lap, wrapped a hand around his cock again and began stroking it in time to the thrusting of his cock.

Harry's breath left him completely and every muscle tensed. His hips thrust erratically into Severus fist and back onto the cock impaled in him, fucking himself as his climax approached.

"Seeeverusss!" Harry screamed as his orgasm gripped him moments later. It ripped through his body in a tidal wave of intense pleasure. His hands gripped at the silk sheets, his knuckles turning white, as wave after wave hit him hard, his body convulsing in involuntarily spasms. Cum pumped out his cock as though it was under extreme pressure and coated Severus' hand. Severus continued pounding into him, his cock hammering against his prostate on every stroke, prolonging Harry's orgasm until he thought his heart would jump out his chest. His vision blurred to black at the edges as the last wave of orgasm shuddered through him. Severus suddenly went tense behind him and he let go of Harry's cock.

"Fuck! ...Harry!" Severus growled and started to come in hard thrusts, shooting his seed deep into Harry's body, filling him with a warm, wet heat. Harry's body went limp, but Severus kept him from slumping forward by the strong grip he had on him as he rode through his orgasm. Harry looked round to watch Severus climax, and marvelled at the erotic beauty of the man in the throes of passion. He knew Severus was not considered an attractive man, but like this, he was stunning and Harry couldn't imagine ever wanting anyone else. Conventional attractiveness had never appealed to him and now he knew it never would.

Eventually Severus' thrusting stilled and he collapsed forward, pushing Harry down into the mattress, covering him with his body. Harry felt the strong pounding of Severus heart against his spine and smiled. He felt alive and full of emotion for the man on top of him. They both lay panting in silence, Severus softening member still buried deep. Once their breathing slowed slightly, Severus carefully pulled out of Harry's body, rolled off him and lay on his back, staring at the high stone ceiling.

Harry lay boneless on his front unable to move, but looked over at Severus and saw the corners of his mouth turned up in what he knew was a smile.

"Are you all right?" Severus whispered. Harry thought Severus sounded like was trying not to laugh.

"Of course I am all right! That was..." Harry didn't know a word was adequate enough to describe what he had just experienced and stammered.

Severus laughed. The sound startled Harry in its foreignness. "You are laughing at me!" Harry stated.

"You have always been one to state the obvious, haven't you Potter, but yes I am laughing at you. I find your lack of vocabulary is amusing." Severus replied still smiling.

"Well how would you describe what we just did?" Harry said huffing.

"Mmm, I think acceptable would be as good an adjective as any." Severus replied coolly.

"Acceptable? Bloody acceptable! You have got to be taking the piss!" Harry said indignantly.

"Obviously," Severus said as he pulled Harry into a slow kiss. When their kiss broke, Severus sat up, pulled up the blankets that had pushed to the bottom of the bed and covered them both in their soft warmth before wrapping his body around Harry's back in a tight embrace.

Severus' breathing quickly became slow and steady as sleep claimed the older man and Harry wondered if Severus had managed to fall asleep so quickly due to a lingering effect of the Draught of Living Death fumes. He knew sleep was not going to take him so easily even though his body was tired. His mind was racing. Hermione had been right; there was no way he could be around Severus now and not want this again. A plan that had been formulating in his mind over the course of the day solidified. What he needed to do seemed so much clearer now. A hot determination filled him. He would finish this war, obliterate the evil that threatened his life, and that of everyone around him and he would do so soon. He would fight until the end, but would do so with excitement, desire and love driving him, not fear, anger and hate. It was because of this that he knew he now had the upper hand over Voldemort.

Harry placed a soft kiss on the Severus' lips, slipped out of his arms, and quietly walked away from the dungeons under his invisibility cloak. He did not look back.

A/N Please Please review! Let me know whether you want a sequel or not and what you think of this chapter, I only write for all you lovely readers but I dont know if I am doing ok unless you tell me. SO thanks to everyone who has reviewed and I hope this longer version of the story turned out ok... I am aware it still needs some editing but have ran out of time this week and thought I would give you as is... LHx
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