Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

I just wanted to ask	By : evil-minded Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 31281 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 11
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any character from it, Rowling does … I do not make any money out of Harry Potter either, again – Rowling does … I however do own Herbaceous VanHarkins – but I don’t make money of him also … :D …

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Author's Notes:

Uhm … ok … I have to admit … English is not my language by birth … so … please do not kill me while reading … neither for the bad English I use, nor for what I am writing …

And yes, I really would appreciate it, if you would honor my work with a short review as I always will honor your comments with an answer … Answers to reviews you have given or the chance to discuss the story you can find here: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/34437-review-replies-for-i-just-wanted-to-ask/

Warning:

Story contains references to child abuse:

Child abuse is a really serious thing, it is an evil thing and there are a lot of children in our world that really would need help without being helped, and closing our eyes and pretending it does not exist – is no solution … handle people, children as well as adults, which are showing any signs – whichever – of once being abused … with understanding and with help …

what does not mean I am not as evil as I pretend to be … ^.~ … believe me – I am …

Story contains adult stuff:

Especially sex between two men … as there is Harry Potter – a male – having sex with Severus Snape – another male … what means those gay things … not to mention that the relationship between the two of them is one based on BDSM …

Don't like it, don't read it …

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Previously in I just wanted to ask

He didn't really understand Ron's problem but right now he didn't care either. Right now he just wanted it over. Yet – he didn't know what to do then.

It was clear he could not stay in his dorm, maybe not even in the common room. But where would he go instead? He wouldn't have a place to stay really.

I just wanted to ask

Chapter nine

To shock a Potions Master

Snape growled angrily while he waited for Harry to arrive down here.

He hadn't seen the boy during breakfast in the great hall, nor during lunch, and not even during dinner. Harry simply had not been there. He simply had missed each meal, even if he explicitly had told him that he would have to attend them. Even if he had thought he had made it clear to the boy how serious the situation was.

And not to mention the little fact that Harry had not been in his tower during the night. He had felt him being safe and in his tower the night before, yes, but then he had felt something that had been wrong, not quite the feeling that would have told him that Harry was in real danger, but something that was wrong and shortly after that the ring he wore had told him that the boy had left the safety of his tower, that the brat again wandered the halls of Hogwarts – after curfew.

He already had been about to go and search for the brat when he had felt that Harry had reached his destiny, the room of requirement. And there the boy had stayed throughout the night. So he had left it at that, knowing that the room would provide the brat with what he needed. Aside from food of course. But he would be able to sleep there comfortably.

He just didn't know why in Merlin's name the teenager would sleep in the room of requirement instead of in his tower. Not to mention that he didn't know how in Merlin's name the brat knew that the room even existed.

Well, maybe Granger and Weasley had been fighting again. What would have explained why Harry had left and honestly, he couldn't blame the boy for it. And it would have explained why the boy had avoided the great hall for meals too. But he did not like the fact that the boy had missed meals because of them again. He would have to talk to him. And honestly, he would have to talk to those two lions as well. He really did not care why they fought, but if it concerned the health of his brat, then he would have to take some actions. It simply couldn't continue as it did right now.

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Harry slowly walked down the dungeons to Snape's quarters, all the way considering if he really should go down to the man at all. Snape surely would see that he had been fighting and Snape surely would not be pleased about it. He really would be in trouble right now, never mind what.

He didn't even know how he could explain anything without getting into even more trouble than he already was in. Not only had he been fighting. No. He had been leaving the Gryffindor common room after curfew, he had been sleeping in the room of requirement and he had been missing each meal. And surely Snape would know about that.

He just was in so much trouble right now he didn't even dare thinking of it while at the same time he couldn't stop thinking about it.

And what would Snape do if he knew that he had been fighting with Ron? And if he knew the reason? Would Snape back out of their relationship? Would he send him away? Would he punish him for fighting? Would he even try to punish Ron?

He had been really possessive over him last night, after he had given him the pendant. He surely would not be pleased about Ron beating him. Would Ron be in trouble then?

Yes, he still was angry at Ron. Ron had not only judged him, his actions, his preferences concerning his partner, he had even attacked him, had beaten him, had kicked at him. But he did not want Ron getting into trouble with Snape over it. It had been a short fight and nothing more. The beatings he got from the Dursleys were much worse after all.

But then, why should Snape worry about it? It was just him, Harry, after all and no one cared about him being beaten. It was normal that he was being beaten. And honestly, he deserved it anyway. Maybe Ron finally just had seen the freak in him he was. Just like uncle Vernon. And Snape surely would see it soon too.

But then again – Snape had said that he cared.

And thus he would not like it that he had been beaten. Maybe.

Tiredly he ran his hand over his face when he reached the Potions Master's door before he softly knocked at the wood that was the man's entrance.

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Snape was close to leaving his quarters. It was past six right now, later than the boy normally would come down here. It had been seven during the first few days, before they had formed their relationship, when it had been nothing more than a sexual education. But then, when he had claimed the boy as his, they had changed the time to six so that the boy could have dinner with him in privacy and the brat always had been on time, never late. But right now he was nearly half an hour late.

After the boy had been sleeping in the room of requirement and after the boy had missed each meal during the day. So – yes, he was worried. To put it mildly.

The soft knock that came from the door made him sigh with relief before he schooled his face into his usual indifferent mask and he called the boy in.

But then he couldn't stop the growl that escaped his throat as the relief he felt changed into worry again as soon as the door opened and the brat slowly, hesitantly and – much to his annoyance – fearfully stepped into his quarters. The brat looked as if he had been stomped over by a hippogriff and his face darkened, unintentionally startling the boy.

He took the few steps towards the teen too quickly and Harry backed away from him, only out of instinct, he knew, but nevertheless he again growled at the display of fear his brat showed towards him and he pierced the young wizard with an intense gaze of his dark eyes.

"What a pleasant sight." He couldn't help saying with his best sarcastic voice while he forced himself to move slowly when he lifted his hand to grab the brat's chin and lifted his head to have a better look at the teen's face. "Care to tell me what exactly has happened to your face, Mr. Potter?"

Harry gulped nervously at Snape's words and at the sarcasm that dripped from his voice. Ok, so they were back to 'Mr. Potter' instead of 'Harry', or 'brat' as he had called him a few times now since the past few days, a nickname he had not liked at first until he had noticed that the man had not called him that to hurt or to humiliate him but to – well, it had been a nickname and no one before had given him one. And then he had quite liked it. But as it seemed, it was over now.

He nevertheless forced himself to keep from flinching back when the man extended his hand and grabbed his chin, turned his face upwards. But the Professor's dark eyes blazed with anger and he couldn't help feeling the fear crawling through his stomach, in his chest, choking him.

"Uhm." He couldn't help making while he averted his eyes. "I … I …"

"Yes, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked.

"I've been in a fight, sir." Harry finally said.

"Stating the obvious, aren't we, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I can see as much by myself."

Narrowing his eyes at the boy in front of him Snape took Harry's hands in his own, again ignoring the flinch his brat gave away, turning them, inspecting them, and his face darkened even more.

"Care to explain as to what exactly has happened, Mr. Potter?" He asked, narrowing his eyes back at the bruised face of the teen in front of him.

"Well, nothing important, sir." Harry answered and Snape nearly seethed in anger, barely able to control himself. "It was just a fight in the common room, nothing more. It isn't a big deal, sir."

"Being beaten up by your fellow students isn't a big deal, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked, his gaze darkening each minute that passed.

"I haven't been beaten up, sir." The brat had the nerve to say. "It was a simple fight. Nothing more."

"A simple fight." Snape growled darkly. "Then care to explain as to why I can't see any defensive injuries? No sign you fought back? Only injuries you received from someone? And I did not hear of a report throughout the day from a fight in the Gryffindor common room either. Not to mention the fact that you – apparently – avoided your fellow Gryffindors as you slept in the room of requirement? And missed each meal in the great hall? Even after I expressed how important regular meals are for you?"

The boy had grown paler by each sentence he had said and a low "I'm sorry, sir" had been the only thing he had uttered, so – he had been right. His brat had allowed one of the Gryffindors to beat him up and now he was hiding out in the room of requirement.

"Who?" He simply asked.

"It isn't that important, sir, really." Potter had the nerve to defend his attacker. "I mean, nothing had happened and …"

"Who!" He repeated in a deep growl, ignoring the startled flinch the brat gave away.

"Ron." Harry finally said, cringing slightly. "But it really is nothing. It …"

"You call this nothing, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked, nearly seething. "Did you even have a look into a mirror lately? At some time throughout the day, maybe?"

"No, sir." Harry quietly said, defeated. "I'm sorry, sir."

Sighing in frustration and shaking his head Snape released the teen's chin and gripped his shoulder instead, directed him towards the armchair by the fire and gently forced his brat to sit down.

"There is no need to apologize for your friend's violence against you, Harry." He said while he opened a cabinet door from the cupboard that stood in one corner. He quickly grabbed a vial with a light blue potion and a jar with the healing balm and went back to the boy that sighed in relief at the given name he addressed him with, causing him to lift his eyebrow at the display of relief.

"And there is no need to apologize for anything else either. I just do not understand how you could allow Mr. Weasley such actions without fighting back, without even reporting him. This has not been a simple fight, Harry. Weasley has beaten you up pretty well. And even if I do not like fighting in the common rooms, I am worried about the fact that I do not see any defensive injuries. It is as if you had allowed him to beat you without even trying to stop him. Is your own safety worth so little to yourself?"

Again there was the low "I'm sorry, sir" and he again sighed while he reached the vial towards Harry.

"A pain relieving potion, drink it." He said, sitting himself onto the edge of the table so he had the boy in good view in front of him. "And there still is no need to apologize. As I see the situation Weasley has beaten you up and not the other way round. Care to explain as to why the fight as happened in the first place?"

"It really wasn't such a big deal." The boy answered, wincing when he cleaned a cut on his brat's forehead. "It isn't really important."

"I didn't ask you if it were a big deal or if it were important, Harry." Snape said, covering the cut with the healing balm. "I asked you as to why the fight had happened in the first place."

"He has seen the pendant." The boy sighed defeated, slumping in the armchair and Snape stopped his movements, halting his hand mid air, his dark eyes fixed at the brat with a gaze that was beyond angry.

So, Weasley had seen the pendant. And as he came from a pure blood family he had recognized not only what it was but the meaning behind it as well. And thus he had …

Growling darkly he continued to cover the boy's bruises with the healing balm, noticing with some satisfaction that the bruises at least slowly vanished.

"I will have a word with Minerva." He growled darkly. "And not a word I wish to hear from you, young man. Weasley has been beating you up pretty well, a fellow housemate. If he were a Slytherin, I would have his head for this. No one should go against their own. And surely not for such a low reason. I do not know what exactly is Weasley's problem, and honestly, I do not care either. But the relationship we have is a common one and Weasley had no right to act in such a violent manner. Not to mention that no one beats my submissive without being punished."

Harry glanced up at Snape, a startled expression on his face.

So, Snape did not throw him away because of this? So they still were – well, together? The relationship still was intact? He still belonged to Snape? Snape still wanted him? He couldn't help sighing in relief, even if he still felt the fear somewhere within his stomach and his chest.

Snape frowned at the brat in front of him while he noticed the relief that washed over the teenager's face at his words. Had the brat really thought he would abandon him now? Because of Weasley beating him up? Sighing in frustration he shook his head. They really would have a long way to go until his brat would trust him completely.

"Did you gain any other injuries than those on your face and your arms?" He asked, lifting his eyebrow at the headshake the boy gave him. The frightened look Harry regarded him with told him enough. The boy tried to hide what other injuries he might have gained.

Well, he had two possibilities.

The first would be that he forced the brat to reveal what other injuries he had gained. The most logical thought as he did not know the extent of those injuries. They could be harmless, but they also could be serious. Not to mention the fact that he did not like being lied to.

And he knew he had his ways to get access to those injuries. He was experienced in handling injured students as he had enough abused children in his house and as he had enough dealings with his students getting into a fight, just because they were Slytherins too.

The problem was, Harry was not simply one of his students. Harry was his junior partner in a relationship that wasn't easy. They stood at the beginning of this relationship and the trust the boy showed towards him was – even if Harry would place his life in his hands in a dire situation without even hesitating for a second – thin. The brat trusted him, but he feared him nevertheless and he only could imagine what exactly would happen if he forced him to undress now in front of him.

The brat already looked ready to run and he simply couldn't afford this. Not while the teen was in such a condition. He of course could send him to Poppy, but somehow he doubted that this action would be much more effective. So, gritting his teeth he reached another vial at the boy.

"A healing potion." He explained. "Just in case you have some more injuries which you are not ready to reveal yet."

His voice made clear that this exactly was what he thought, that he wasn't pleased with the situation either, but that he would accept it at the moment as it was. It also made clear that he wouldn't always act this way and if there should be a next time he would not allow him to get away so easily.

Well, at the "I'm sorry, sir" the brat gave away, Snape knew that Harry clearly felt his disappointment.

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They were entering the small kitchen that was attached to his quarters for a late dinner and the Potions Master was considering if he should touch the boy that walked in front of him and if, then how to initiate it. Or if he should wait. Well, he surely would not touch him from behind without a warning, that much was clear. He didn't want to startle the teenager that was already jumpy enough. And surely not after he had been beaten up by Weasley the night before.

Well, they hadn't touched yet. Not in that way he thought of right now, anyway. And he surely wouldn't force the boy to do so, nor would he force him to accept his touch if he wasn't ready yet. The boy was sixteen after all, not quite of age yet. And he wasn't experienced either. Damn, the boy had done nothing than sharing one single kiss that hadn't even been a pleasant one – in all his sixteen years of life so far.

He definitely had to be slowly and he had to be careful, never mind how much he would like to touch this delicious body in front of him. He would have to be slowly and carefully if he didn't want to frighten the brat and again he wondered what in Merlin's name had gotten into him, starting a relationship with a person as difficult as Harry was. Yet – he knew it had been the right thing. He knew if he could get the brat past his difficulties, then it would be worth all the trouble they had went through.

He cast another thoughtful look at Potter just the moment when the teenager's knees gave way under him and Snape was just quick enough to catch him before he would hit the floor because he was used to act fast in order to prevent stupid students from adding dangerous ingredients to their potions.

With shaking hands he lowered the boy to the floor when it was apparent that he had lost consciousness, his face edged with worry. Even knowing that it wouldn't help, he nevertheless shook the boy lightly, calling his name, and even if he knew that he simply overreacted he felt his heart leaping into his throat when there was no response.

Gritting his teeth at his own stupidity he pressed his fingers at the boy's throat to feel for a pulse. Honestly, the boy simply had dropped and honestly, he should have known that such would happen at one point, considering that the boy had been starved for only Merlin knew how long with those bloody relatives of his.

It was faint but steady and sighing with relief he ran one hand beneath the boy's back and the other under his knees and gathered the teenager into his arms.

He placed the limp form onto the sofa, again worrying about how light the teenager was and he ran a quick diagnostic spell, just in case Weasley had done more damage than he had thought and just in case Weasley had done more damage than the brat had admitted when he had told him that he had been fine now earlier. The diagnostic clearly showed that the brat had dropped because of a low blood pressure and a low blood sugar.

He would run a more defined diagnostic spell later, but for now it would have to be enough.

Growling angrily he summoned a cloth from the bathroom and wet it with a swift "aquamenti" from his wand. He sat onto the edge of the sofa beside the lithe form and placed the wet cloth onto the teenager's forehead, shaking his head slightly. He shouldn't be surprised that the damn brat had dropped, honestly. As thin and as underweight as he was. He should have known that this would happen at one point. One simply couldn't go without food forever without his body giving in at one point or another.

Giving a sigh away he stood to get a few potions he thought he might need.

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Harry woke with a low groan and a slight feeling of dizziness and for a moment he didn't know where he was, what had happened and why he felt as if something had happened. He tried to sit up just to find himself unable to as a new wave of dizziness washed over him and he tried to figure out instead where exactly he was – just to find himself flat on Snape's sofa and with a cool cloth placed on his forehead and he groaned again, this time in frustration.

He hadn't fainted.

No! He surely had not fainted!

And surely he hadn't fainted in Snape's presence!

A third time he groaned out in frustration and he forced himself into a sitting position on the sofa.

"Set one foot onto the floor and you will live to regret it, young man." Came Snape's dark voice from the doorway to his left and he turned his head towards the man. Snape definitely looked angry and he gulped heavily, nervously. As it seemed he was in trouble for only Merlin knew how often during this single evening. It definitely was a record, even for him.

"How do you feel?" The Potions Master wanted to know after watching his brat for a moment, who had dropped his gaze down onto his hands that were – how should it be otherwise – once again tightened into this complicated knot.

"Fine, sir." He automatically answered in a small and nearly fearful voice. Why was it always him who got into trouble with Snape? "I'm sorry, sir."

"There is no need to apologize, Harry." Snape said, sitting onto the edge of the coffee table, not for the first time this evening, and watching Harry with a searching gaze. "I fear you may have fallen unconscious for quite a few moments."

Harry nodded, not looking at him yet. "Oh, ok. Sorry, sir."

Snape frowned at the boy on the sofa.

"Oh, and ok. This is all you have to say to that, Harry?" He asked, dumbfounded, nearly shocked, yet – his voice was severe. "You do not have to apologize for falling unconscious, but all you have to say is oh? And ok?"

"Uhm." The brat made again. "But … well … it happened before … it isn't the first time … it isn't a great deal … really."

It isn't a great deal?

Harry fell unconscious in his quarters and it appeared that such had happened before and it wasn't a great deal? Was the teen trying to shock him at all costs?

Narrowing his eyes at the teenager he remembered him saying the same words earlier. It wasn't a great deal to get beaten up, according to the boy. And it wasn't a great deal to lose consciousness out of nowhere either, according to the boy.

Growling darkly he shook his head and reached a vial towards the boy. "Drink this, Harry. It is a potion that will settle your stomach so you will be able to keep the next potions down." He said and Harry suddenly got nervous. He hated it when the stern man's voice dropped down even deeper than it normally was. It meant he was – even more serious, angry, mad, worried … something along those lines.

He downed the potion obediently and reached the empty vial back to Snape who immediately reached another one towards him.

"A potion that will regulate your blood sugar, drink it!" The man ordered sternly. "When did this happen before? And how often?"

Oh, oh. There they were, those questions – again. And those questions never were good, because he simply never had been good at keeping anything from Snape. Yet – it was important that he kept some things from the older wizard. At least if he wanted … if he wanted what? To keep this relationship? But hadn't Snape told him that he wanted honesty? On the other hand – if he told Snape and the man knew what a freak and what a weakling he was then it would be over before he would be able to say even BDSM.

Nevertheless he never had been able to hide anything from him. And surely not when the man really wanted to have some answers to those questions. And right now he looked like he really did want to have those answers. At least if he judged that long and weird look the man watched him with correctly. He had seen the Potions Master giving a similar look to some of his potions ingredients during classes throughout the years. And Snape had looked at him that way for many times now. And the fact that he still couldn't figure out what this look meant made him just the more uneasy.

The man sometimes seemed to read his mind even without using legillimens.

"At number four." Harry murmured, sighing in defeat, his eyes still on his hands. "Privet Drive. And I don't know how often."

"What do you mean with – you do not know how often?" Snape asked darkly, watching the boy close. Falling unconscious wasn't something that happened every day. The brat surely had to remember how often such had happened.

"I just don't know it." Harry murmured. "I'm sorry, sir."

Snape sighed. "Was it more than twice?" He asked. "More than three or four times?"

"Uhm." Was all Harry made, looking at everything but him and Snape instantly knew that he was far from the truth.

"What exactly do you mean with 'uhm'?" He wanted to know. "How often is 'uhm'?"

"I just don't know, sir."

"Might I be correct in the assumption that it just was too often for you to count?"

Another 'uhm' told Snape that he indeed was right and he had to suppress a low growl.

"I guess your aunt or uncle took you to a doctor then?" The Potions Master asked instead of insisting upon an answer. "To a muggle doctor? And what did this one say?"

"Uhm." Was again the only answer he got and the Potions Master blinked at him. He wasn't really irritated at the repeated proof of the lack of eloquent language Harry displayed. Not this time at least. He was rather worried that this repeated 'uhm' might mean what he began to fear it meant.

"Am I correct if I guess that your relatives did not – take you to a doctor at all then?" He asked, his voice dangerously low and slow, as if he tried to control his emotions this way and Harry shrunk back towards the backrest of the sofa, watching him with fear clearly written in his face. Snape was mad at him.

The brat drew back from him, fear written all over his face, over his entire features, written in red letters and Snape gave another frustrated growl away.

"Then, tell me, Harry, what did your relatives do then?" He asked, trying to get his anger under control and trying to get his voice back to normal.

No answer came this time and Snape placed his fingers under the teenager's chin to lift his head, trying to ignore the startled flinch.

"Look – at – me!" He demanded.

Harry looked up and slowly, barely able to conceal his anger, he repeated his question. "What did your relatives do then, when you lost consciousness at home? An answer if you please. And do not lie to me. Not about this!"

Harry swallowed dryly, knowing that he had no other choice now than to tell the truth. Snape would skin him alive if he would lie to him now and he would find out later about it.

"Uncle Vernon left … well, he left me in my … in my room." He softly whispered.

Noticing the slight hesitance before the words 'in my room', Snape knew that it wasn't what Harry exactly wanted to say and he narrowed his eyes at the teenager. Yet, he let it slip – for now at least. It was just one more thing to remember at a later time.

"Your uncle left you in your room? Unconscious? And without supervision?" He asked, his voice calm but with more than just an angry note in it.

"I am not angry at you, Harry." He said to calm the teenager who began to tense up immediately. "I just begin to wonder what those wretched relatives of yours did to you aside from what I have seen during your occlumency lessons."

"I'm sorry, sir." Harry whispered and Snape could see that the teenager was close to tears. He sighed again.

"I am not – angry – at you, Harry." He repeated. "Did this happen at Hogwarts also?" He then asked. "Does Madam Pomfrey know about this?"

"No, sir." Harry answered, still in his small voice, his eyes back on his hands that twisted even tighter into this irritate knot and Snape had to suppress the urge to pull those fingers apart. "It didn't happen at Hogwarts … up to now, sir. And Madam Pomfrey doesn't know about it either, sir."

Running his hand over his face for a moment Snape sighed.

"I am not really surprised that you lost consciousness in the first place, Harry, seeing how underweight you are, but you do not seem to know how serious the situation is." He finally said. "You fell unconscious often enough so you are not even able to tell me how often it happened. That alone is a fact I do worry about. But your relatives seemingly did not do anything against it and even left you alone in your room when such happened. Do you have any idea how serious that is?"

But yet again – "I'm sorry, sir" was the only answer he got from the teenager.

"Again, you do not have to apologize." Snape said, his voice getting even more serious and again he pulled Harry's face up so the teen would have to look at him. "Neither for falling unconscious nor for the neglect your relatives has shown towards you. I have just one question left right now. How long? How long has this been happening? How long did they neglect you? And when did you lose consciousness the first time?"

There was no answer and Snape growled angrily, darkly.

"How – long – Mr. Potter?" He asked, making clear he demanded an answer by using the teen's sure name and the boy cringed, casting a desperate look at him. Yet, he continued to watch him with the same stern look, not backing away.

"Always." The teen finally murmured and Snape lifted his eyebrow at him, his gaze still dark and angry.

"What exactly means?" He asked.

"As long as I can remember." Harry again murmured quietly, looking away again.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

They had been eating a small and late dinner, and after asking the boy where he intended to sleep this night and the teenager answering him that he couldn't go back to the tower, not now at least, that he would go back to the room of requirement, Snape had growled again. He had told him in no unmistakable terms that this would not be an option and that he would stay right here where he was.

The boy soon had fallen asleep on his lap again, just like the evening before, after he had dispelled the boy's fears concerning him sleeping in his quarters and the other teachers or the headmaster finding out about their relationship and him being sacked and sent to Azkaban then.

Flashback

The boy was laying with his upper body in his lap, tired and exhausted, worried and again the far too thin body trembled with cold, not able to keep its own body heat and Snape took the blanket from the backrest and placed it over the teen's small form, just as he had done the evening before.

"You are not used to the old pure blood ways, Harry, as it seems, and considering your upbringing it is no wonder, honestly." He said in a low voice. "But believe me, it won't be such a – big deal, to use your own words. It is quite common and normal that within a relationship such as ours, namely between two partners with the same gender, the difference in age between the senior partner and the junior partner is quite large. Twenty years are quite normal here and nothing to worry about. And neither is the fact that you are not of age yet. In such a relationship I even could have claimed you if you were fifteen and I could have bonded with you as soon as you had been sixteen. Such relationships are called educational relationships as the senior partner is teaching his junior partner in every areas of life. In pure blood standards, in etiquette, in traditions, in manners, and last but not least in behavior around society and culture. The area is quite wide and in the old days it was standard that an older wizard has been taking a much younger witch or wizard as his partner to hand down such knowledge."

He noticed that the brat for once listened closely and he had to suppress a low chuckle at the thought that it was since the boy had asked this fateful question that he listened to his words. Never before in all those years he'd had the boy in potions had he listened to what he had said. He ran his hand through the boy's unruly mop of black hair, unconsciously, sighing a sigh of relief.

His brat was here and he was safe at the moment. He wasn't really healthy, but he was well at the moment. And nothing else was important right now.

"Throughout the years this tradition has become lost within the wizarding community and the old ways of behavior have gotten lost too. The students aren't able anymore to display any self control or to show any respect towards their elders or teachers, they do not display manners, and even the younger teachers are not able to show as much passion as needed when teaching and keeping their entrusted students safe."

"In other words, our entire world is lost, doomed." The brat murmured sleepily and Snape couldn't help but giving away a slight huff. Yet, the brat was right.

"Yes, brat." He growled, noticing the boy relaxing when he called him brat, when he addressed him with the nickname he had given him, and he couldn't help giving away a slight smile. "Our world indeed is lost. At least the old ways are."

"So, all in all, it is allowed?" The sleepy voice asked and when he looked down into the pale face he noticed that the brat had his eyes closed.

"Yes, it is allowed." He answered. "And I even consider informing Albus and Minerva of our relationship to get you out of your dorm and down here into my quarters."

"'K." The brat murmured, nearly asleep and Snape doubted that he really had understood his last words.

End flashback

Taking a deep breath he scooped Harry into his arms, giving away a low growl at the new reminder that the teen was far lighter and smaller than he ought to be. He paused momentarily to see if the teenager would wake at the movement, but all that happened was Harry's head lolling against his chest.

With a silent and wandless spell he shoved the door to his guest chamber open and placed his submissive on the bed. Sitting beside him onto the edge of the mattress he pulled off the trainers and the robes the teen wore. He hesitated for a moment and then waved his wand over the boy, transfiguring his clothes into a pair of pyjamas. The boy might fear him, somehow, but he trusted him and he would not break this trust by undressing the boy while he wasn't aware of this.

Taking the blanket from the foot of the bed he covered the boy and tucked the blanket over the teen's shoulders, ensuring that he was covered and wouldn't be cold during the night. He again ran his hands through Harry's unruly black hair, noticing that right now, in sleep, the boy looked far more relaxed and peaceful than he normally did and he lowered his head to one side in a thoughtful manner, wondering if he really would be able to get the boy through all his worries, his fears, his troubles and his difficulties.

Growling darkly he promised himself that he would manage it before he left the chamber, leaving the door ajar.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

The soft whimpers coming from the boy's room got him awake immediately and Snape placed the book he still held in his hands onto the table beside the armchair he sat in and immediately he got up and entered his guest chamber. The teenager was sitting upright on the bed, his back pressed into the corner against the wall, hugging his knees against his chest, his face a mask of desperate horror. The boy rather looked like a small child right now than like the teenager he was and Snape sighed while he sat at the edge of the mattress, slowly reaching out.

"Harry!" He quietly said. "Wake up, Harry." He reached out instinctively and held the boy's face in his hands. Harry stopped his whimpering, but he did not fully wake. Instead he screwed his eyes shut and threw his arm up over his face as if to cover it from an upcoming blow.

"Open your eyes, you are safe." He brushed the teen's fringe off his forehead, ignoring the flinch and simply pressing the teens arms down with one hand while with the thumb of his other he brushed away some of the boy's tears. "Come on, Harry. Look at me."

The teen didn't throw his arms up again, instead he bent forwards, hugging his arms around his stomach and rolling into a small ball as he so often did lately.

"Please, 'ncle V'non." The boy whispered from beneath his arms, his voice a barely audible murmur, sleepy and hitching with unshed tears. "'m hungry … please … can't breathe 'n here … 's too small."

As fearsome as he wanted to be towards his students and as cold and dark as he wanted to appear, that simply was too much, even for him – listening to a hungry child pleading for something to eat – and he growled in anger at the thought that the boy's relatives simply had ignored those pleas. There surely had been no way that they had not heard them too. They simply had ignored them. However they had been able doing so.

He again tried to wake Harry up fully. He simply would get the boy to eat a light snack and then get him back to bed. As he ate none to nothing at regular meals a small late night snack wouldn't harm the boy. So he reached out again, touching the boy's shoulders.

"Hush, Potter." He growled. "Wake up and let's get you something to eat. And then you can go back to bed. And it isn't too small either. It's rather the other way round." He added in an angry whisper when the thought struck him that maybe that was the reason as to why the teen was as small as he was, smaller than any of his classmates. That brat easily could go as a third year for all he knew.

"Cupboard's too small." The teenager murmured, still not able to wake completely from his dream. "Can't breathe 'n here."

The cupboard? Narrowing his eyes at his brat Snape slowly replayed a scene from last year's occlumency lessons in his head.

A small boy sitting in a cupboard, crying – he had thought Potter simply had been hiding in there.

A letter, with the Hogwarts seal and the words 'the cupboard under the stairs' – he hadn't paid attention to that at all.

But now, considering the boy's neglect at the hands of his relatives and the words he unintentionally spoke right now in his nightmare … the pieces of information he back then had stored away in the back of his mind for a later use – they fell into place suddenly.

And for some reason that made Snape's entire body freeze in place and his blood to run cold. Surely he had not heard rightly. Surely he had misunderstood the boy's low and sleepy murmurings. He suddenly wasn't able to stop the dark and angry growl that escaped his throat.

"'m sorry." Harry began to whisper, apparently noticing his – Snape's – anger. "'m sorry."

Growling angrily again he reached out once more. He did not want the boy apologizing for having a nightmare and with a gentle grasp he pulled the boy away from the wall and into his arms, ignoring the weak struggle the boy gave away.

"Hush. Calm down, Harry." He said, his voice loud enough so the teen would hear him in his half-awake state and low enough so he would not frighten him further. "Calm down. You are safe. It was nothing more than a dream. Everything is alright, Harry. You are in the guest chamber in my quarters. Calm down, Harry."

It took him a few minutes to get Harry fully awake and calm again, and another few minutes until the teenager stopped apologizing for waking him in the middle of the night. It took him once more a few minutes to get Harry to eat something, and finally more few minutes and a sleepless dream potion until he had him back asleep – more than an hour after he had entered the boy's room in the beginning.

'I do not want to have anything from you besides of your trust and your loyalty. Nor do I expect you to grow into an adult overnight. You are a teenager and I am fully aware of what I get myself into.'

Yes, that had been his words to Harry, only a few days earlier. And he had meant them. He still meant them. He just wasn't sure if he really had known what he had gotten himself into back then.

He wouldn't back out of this, however. Surely not.

Harry belonged to him and he knew it. He didn't know why, nor how, but he knew that it was just that – Harry belonged to him as if he were a part of him. He could feel his fears, he could feel his doubts and he could feel his pains. He felt himself being more and more possessive and protective over his brat. And at the same time he knew that it was not only because of the pendant the boy wore around his neck.

That relationship was what had to be.

He just wasn't sure if he really had known what he had gotten himself into back then, while starting a relationship with this particular teenager.

break … ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ … line

To be continued

Next time in I just wanted to ask

the first kiss and Harry learning how passionate a certain Potions Master can be …

Added author's note

thank you for reading - and yes, I would appreciate it if you took the time to review this chapter, thank you …
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I just wanted to ask