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"Why Me?"	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 88153 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and make no money off this work of extreme insanity.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Beta'd by the amazing Tenchi. Love you, woman, you're the best!

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Chapter 9:

Oh yes, he was up to something!

Pacing back and forth in the waiting area at the front of the specialty, high end leather shop Malfoy had dragged them to so they could get the outfits they agreed on, Sirius had his arms folded over his chest, scowling slightly, glaring at anyone that had the temerity to look at him funny. So far, though the day had been tiring because it seemed they had hit every high end clothing store in Wizarding London, not to mention a few Muggle ones, to get the clothes Harry wanted, it hadn't been bad. Harry had all the clothes he would ever need, Grimmauld Place had all new furnishings, table ware and other needed things, his godson got new glasses and other toiletries, things like that. Actually, Sirius didn't mind it much as it got him out of the house for a while. Glamour was used, of course, a simple one to disguise his looks and Harry's scar, but it hadn't been bad. Besides, it was definitely wise to keep an eye on the perverted prat as Sirius was now dead on certain he was plotting something with Harry.
Looking down at the outfit he was in, he rolled his eyes. Though it wasn't BDSM gear, it did appear that Malfoy had a thing for the leatherman style. Leather motorcycle chaps over jeans, engineer boots, leather motorcycle jacket over a sleeveless white undershirt and leather engineer cap. The prat even got him a leather duster, something that was good looking and had built in shielding spells on it. Actually, they were fairly comfortable and he didn't mind them, honestly. It also was a reminder for him to get his bike back from Hagrid so he and Harry could go out for a ride once in a while. Right now, Harry was being fitted for his outfit, something that appeared to be the same kind of thing from what he saw when he was back checking on his godson the last time. His godson, too, seemed to like the outfit, calling it cool. Malfoy seemed inordinately pleased with that, something Sirius knew meant he had to keep a closer eye on the great pervert.
Sighing, glaring at some of the men that were around that seemed to be eying him hungrily, Sirius turned to Snape when the man said his name.
“How much longer are we going to be, do you know?” Snape asked in a dry tone, arms folded over this chest, sneering at all the idiots that seemed to be hovering, all but drooling over Black and the way he was dressed. Though this was a riot to watch, especially since Black was more apt to hex the hell out of them than let them try anything, he was tired and hungry.
“Got me. Talk to Malfoy about it. He's the one being a perfectionist about how everything is fitted,” Sirius shrugged, rolling his eyes.
“We may be here for hours yet,” Snape told him with a huff, shaking his head.
“Oh no we won't!” Sirius told him firmly. “I get he's paying a lot for this shite, but we are not going through hours of fittings here. Mine took no time and if he thinks he's going to draw it out with Harry for some kind of weird whatever, he's delusional.”
Just as Remus said something about getting lunch when they were done here, Sirius' head came up and whipped in the direction of the back of the shop where Harry was being fitted. Eyes narrowing, he actually growled aloud when he heard is godson ask, presumably of Lucius the great pervert, why he needed a riding crop since they had no plans to go horseback riding. Moving in that direction so fast that there should have been a sonic boom from him breaking the sound barrier, Sirius fully and completely planned to put a stop to whatever was going on. Especially since it appeared that, once again, Harry was clueless about a great many things. He rather liked his godson that way, as it was refreshing, and, well, he honestly didn't want to have to explain something like this to him yet.
Reaching the fitting area, Sirius pulled up short and actually ack'd aloud at the sight that greeted him. Eyes bugging out of his head, he rubbed them then shot the muther of all death glares at Malfoy the pervert over what he saw.
Yes, Harry was in an outfit that was exactly the same as him when it came to the clothes part, something he could handle. What he couldn't was the fact that his poor clueless godson was also wearing a studded leather dog collar and had a riding crop in his hand. The other thing that had him all but cringing was that someone, presumably the one doing the fitting, had cast a spell on the new jeans Harry was wearing, the ones his godson had picked out a couple stores ago that he really liked and said were comfortable, that made them appear to be so tight that you could tell what religion Harry was from the outline. As his godson was one of those males that ran to almost the very extreme end of well-endowed, this was damned noticeable and would attract attention neither of them wanted. Rubbing his eyes and groaning, he then looked at Malfoy and actually snarled at him. Stepping forward, he pulled the riding crop out of Harry's hand and said, quietly, “You don't need that, Harry.”
“I'm so lost,” Harry chuckled, shaking his head, grinning. “I'm not getting why I would be offered one anyway. It's not like this is an outfit for horseback riding.”
“Don't worry about it,” Sirius said, helping him down off the stand he was on that was used to work with fittings. Clutching the riding crop tightly, he put a hand on Harry's back then hissed at Malfoy, “You should have given me the riding crop as I know just what to do with it!”

Looking hopeful, a pleased expression on his face after glancing up from eying Harry's bulge, almost drooling over it, Lucius asked, “Really?” That was a good sign and if Black wanted the crop, though he had many of them in different styles, he would get it for him.
Stepping closer to Malfoy, glaring at the man, he snarled, “Yeah. I'll stuff it up your perverted arse, sideways, using my foot!” Shoving the riding crop into the startled clerks hands, he shot Malfoy another glare then led Harry towards the front of the store. “I think we're almost done here, Harry.”
Grinning a bit, looking at the jacket he was wearing, Harry said, “I like this jacket! It fits great and looks awesome.”
“Yeah, it's nice,” Sirius said, trying to block the view of the front of Harry's pants from the men that seemed to be coming out of the woodwork, drooling. Wand out, he glared at all of them then led his godson to where Snape and Remus were waiting. Telling Harry to stand there, he snagged onto Snape by the back of his robes at the collar and dragged the man to his feet then tugged him over to where Harry was standing. Hissing, he said, “Stand there and do what you do best until I can go get the clerk to remove the damned spell on those jeans.”
Squawking indigently over being yanked to his feet, Severus glowered at Black then sneered, “What are you blathering about, man? What is it I do best that you want me to do? And what is this nonsense about a spell on jeans?” With that, he looked down at the front of Potter's jeans. Eyes widening at what he saw, he actually began to stammer, not believing what he was beholding. All he was able to utter finally was, “Tell me that is an enlarging glamour to make it look extreme!”
“It's not,” Sirius mumbled, glaring at all the men that seemed to be converging on the area to get a good look. “And I mean what you're known for; scare the living shite out of any pervert that looks at Harry oddly and hex any of them that make a move in his direction. I'm going to get someone to remove the spell on the jeans.”

“You do that,” Snape squeaked out, nodding vigorously. Head coming up, he looked around and sneered at all the men appearing, wand at the ready. Stepping in front of Potter as Black made his way towards the back, he leveled his wand at an older man coming in their direction. Sneering, he waited, hoping he got to hex the shite out of someone. After all, such things only served to improve his day.
Staring at Harry, shaking his head, Remus had a hand over his mouth, not sure what to say about this. “I think protecting him until that spell is removed is going to take both of us, Severus.” He finally managed to stammer out.
“It won't,” Severus said smugly, a sadistic gleam in his eyes. “Just leave this to me, Lupin, I'll handle it.”
Looking down at the floor, shaking his head, Remus let out a shuddering sigh. There were things in this world he didn't want to know about and what he just saw with the jeans was one of them!

Standing there, watching the young man being led away, Rene, the owner of the shop, said to Lucius, “Oh, where did you find those two? And how did they come into your possession?”
“Wasn't planned, I assure you,” Lucius told him, looking smug, a smirk on his face as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I can't say I'm complaining though. It'll just take some time and the right motivation to get them moving in the direction I want them to is all. Never fear, I'll manage.”
Shaking his head, Rene whispered, “I want a pair just like them for my own! Is the young one really that innocent and naive?”
“He is,” Lucius confirmed with a bigger smirk and nod. “He was completely innocent the first and only time we've done something. Which means I have a blank slate to work with here. That will be most enjoyable!”
“A virgin? Those still actually exist?” Rene asked, astonished.
“Oh, yes,” Lucius replied, looking pleased with himself.
“I want one of my own,” Rene sighed with a shake of his head. “The other—oh, he is the dominant type, isn't he?”
“Very much so,” Lucius confirmed, eyes sparkling.
“How you come across and are able to acquire toys like this I'll never know, Lucius,” Rene sighed in a dejected way, shaking his head. “It has to be more than luck. I want a set for myself!”
Looking smug, Lucius admitted, “It just dropped into my lap, I admit it, but I do like it.” He was then interrupted from going on by Black, who looked thunderous, appearing once more. Stiffening up, Lucius tried to soothe the man, “All we need to do is make sure the trench fits and we're done.”
Snarling at the great pervert, Sirius grabbed hold of Rene's shoulder and began to drag him towards the front of the shop, “I want whatever spell it is you put on those jeans off, now!” Glancing over his shoulder at Malfoy, who was looking amused, he hissed, “And add the biggest, sturdiest nightstick you have in stock to this order.”
Not sure what Black wanted with such an item, though he was having delicious visions of what could be done with such a thing, Lucius told Rene, “Let him have whatever he wants.” Straightening his robes, he went to pick out a couple other items then planned to be finished with this place.
Sputtering as he was dragged along to the front of the shop, Rene then gave a contented sigh as he got to once more ogle the young man there. Though he didn't like the fact that one of the gentlemen with Lucius appeared to be threatening some of his regulars that tended to hang out in the shop with unmentionable hexes, he quickly removed the spell on the jeans. As Lucius knew it, it wasn't a hardship. Snapping his fingers, he told his assistant, when he appeared, “Bring the leather trench so we can see if it is now altered to fit correctly.” Stepping forward to remove the jacket from the handsome young man, he sighed dejectedly when the other man blocked his way and glared at him.
“I'll handle this,” Sirius snarled at the man he was sure was in the same class of pervert as Malfoy. Helping Harry off with the jacket, he hissed angrily to see not only the leather collar but studded leather wrist bands as well. The damned pervert certainly had a thing for the leatherman look. Shaking his head, he managed to get the collar and wrist bands off poor Harry then chuckled, grinning at his godson, “Yeah, he's up to something.”
Chuckling, grinning himself, Harry said, “He is. I just don't know what yet. The outfit is brilliant though. I like it.” Looking at Sirius, who was dressed the same way, he flushed slightly then said, lowering his voice, “You look good in yours too.” Actually, for the first time, he had the impulse to wrap his arms around Sirius and give him a kiss. That was odd, he admitted it, and he controlled himself.
“I admit, I like it,” Sirius told Harry with a chuckle as he removed the offending items and handed them to Rene. Reaching up and ruffling Harry's hair, seeing his godson look around, confused, he asked, “What's wrong?”

“Not getting all the stares here. I mean—they are just clothes. Though Lucius seems to be up to something with this and it's bordering on dress up Harry, something that makes me a bit uneasy, it's odd. No one's looked at me like this before.” Harry admitted softly, making sure to keep his voice down to where only Sirius could hear him.
Helping Harry into the trench, adjusting it and nodding when he saw it fit just right, Sirius glanced around, rolling his eyes at the glassy eyed stares his godson was getting, not to mention how a few of the old buggers seemed to actually be drooling, Sirius explained softly, “Because you look very good in the outfit and this kind of thing appeals to some.” Seeing Harry shoot him an incredulous look, Sirius gave him a roguish grin then added, “I think you look damned good!” No way in hell was he about to explain that the spell on the jeans and what it revealed was probably a large part of what was going on. Harry seemed oblivious that it had happened and he wasn't going to clue him in.
Flushing a bit at that, Harry grinned some more. “Thanks,” he mumbled, looking down.
“You're used to Hogwarts, Harry, not the real world. You're young and handsome, what plenty are reacting to. The clothes just add to it,” Sirius explained, leaving out quite a bit that would add to that and explain more.
Giving a sheepish grin to his godfather, Harry looked down at the trench. Nodding, he said, “This looks good. I like it. I think I'd rather wear the other one out today though.”
“It is a perfect fit,” Rene cooed, eying the delicious looking young man. When the older gentleman helped the younger one off with the coat, he sent it to the counter with all the other items waiting. “Is there anything else you want? Lucius said you can have whatever you fancy.”
“Just the nightstick,” Sirius told the man with a shake of his head. Seeing him nod then walk off, he looked at Snape, who was still glowering at all those around them, and Remus, he said, quietly, “When we get home and things settle down, you two are going to help me charm the nightstick. I have an idea for this and I need help.”
“I assume you have something in mind I'll find amusing so I'll lend my assistance,” Snape said, shooting a death glare at one of his old students who appeared to not have the good sense of a rock and was sliding in their direction.
“It's to help protect Harry from perverts. One in particular,” Sirius hissed, glowering at Malfoy as he sauntered to the counter to pay.
“Whatever you need,” Remus said with a nod. “Are we done after this? I'm rather hungry.”

“Can I stop at the pet store a couple doors down? I just need to get some owl treats,” Harry said, adjusting the leather jacket he had slipped back on.
“That's fine,” Remus said with a smile.
“We can stop wherever you like, Harry,” Lucius said smoothly, a smirk on his face. “The pet store it is. I'll join you when I get done in the bookstore next to it.” Looking at Severus, he asked, “You know what books, aside from defense, that are needed for the next term, don't you? I thought we would get a leg up on that to give us something to do.”

“I do,” Severus confirmed. “You can do that and Lupin and I will meet you at the cafe at the end of the block.”
“Get your hands on whatever they have on human transfiguration as well,” Sirius said, eying the pervert, still scowling. “Harry has a plan I like for the idiot that got us into this mess.”
“I will,” Lucius said, adding those to the running list he had. “Let me finish here and I'll meet you in the pet store.”

“At least that's a place that won't lead to something perverse,” Remus muttered to where only Sirius could hear, shaking his head.
“Yeah, well, as long as he doesn't buy any gerbils that is,” Sirius shot back, sighing.
Hearing that, Lucius looked mildly affronted. “That—practice is beneath me. Not only are the furry little beasts untrainable for such activities, it's so passe. I believe that went out of style back in the 1980's. There is also the fact that the sensations from such a thing are nowhere near as pleasurable as what they are touted and it's a right pain to even get it to work right.”
“Which means he's tried it and didn't like it.” Sirius mumbled, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. “That was a vision I didn't need, Malfoy!” Herding his godson to the door before Harry could even formulate any questions to ask about what was said, Sirius told Snape and Remus, “Meet us at the cafe. And beg them to have a cold beer waiting for me. This shopping nightmare is going to require at least a six-pack to get over it!”

Standing at the back of the shop, holding the owl treats with Sirius right by him, Harry was chuckling at the antics of what looked like two very oversized ginger colored ferrets that were wrestling around in their cage. Snickering, he said, “They are funny. They're bigger than any ferrets I've seen before though.”
“They are probably a jarvey mix,” Lucius said, coming up behind them and looking at the creatures. “Have they spoken?”
Knowing what the prat was talking about and shooting him a wary look, Sirius shook his head, “No, not a word. So, they aren't a full jarvey.”
“What's a jarvey?” Harry asked, looking between the two.
“They're like super-sized ferrets that can talk a little. You can't hold a conversation with them, but they can speak. Generally very rude words as well. I've not seen a pet shop that will carry them because of what they say,” Sirius explained.
Eying the two in the cage as they came up and Harry was petting their noses through the bars, Lucius said, “I bet they are a fifty percent jarvey mix. Enough to make them bigger and more playful, but not give them the capacity to speak. They would probably have a more amiable personality as well,” Lucius explained. Watching the young man playing with the creatures a little, grinning while he did, Lucius asked, “Do you like them, Harry?”
“They're a right riot,” Harry chuckled, watching them go back to wrestling around.
“They are funny,” Sirius admitted with a nod and chuckle. “Ferrets are great fun, but so chaotic.”
Pulling his hand away when the creatures seemed to be more interested in chasing each other, Harry snickered, “They are weird, that's for sure.”
“You can have them if you want them,” Lucius said, ignoring the glare from Black at that. “I'll get them for you.”

“Naw, I'm good. I have Hedwig.” Stopping, he snorted then grinned bigger before adding, “And Padfoot. He's plenty chaotic as well. Not to mention fun.” Hearing Sirius chuckle and feeling the man giving him a nudge, Harry laughed. “Well, he is!”
“I'll give you that,” Sirius laughed, reaching over to rub his godson's head.
“Yes, Padfoot is a creature with many diverse talents and uses,” Lucius said smoothly, a smirk crossing his face at some of the things he was envisioning about the dog.
Glowering in the pervert's direction, Sirius said nothing, but shook his head. What he really needed was a leash and stunning spells for the great prat to get him in line then off the pervert track. However, Malfoy would probably like that too much so he wasn't going to chance it. Instead, he asked, “Do you have everything you need for Hedwig? We’ll get some food for her as well, since she can’t go out and hunt as much.”
“Just give me the treats and I'll set up an order for a weekly delivery of the food,” Lucius said amiably, eying the ferrets as they played.
Handing over the treats, Harry nodded.
Putting a hand on Harry's back, Sirius said, “Let's go get something to eat. I think we're done then. Unless there is somewhere else you want to stop before we go home.”
Letting himself be led out, Harry said, “I'm done, mostly. Before we go, there is a little shopette at the end of the street here. Can I pop in to grab some Cokes and Mars bars? Nothing more than that. I have the Muggle money for those.”
“That's fine,” Sirius nodded. “We can do that as it'll take no time.”
Watching the two go, Lucius looked at the ferrets that were now standing at the bars of the cage on their hind legs, looking at him, squeaking in a dejected way. Reaching out, he rubbed their little noses, smirking as one of them grabbed his finger and nuzzled it. He could understand the attraction here. Signaling a hovering clerk over, he said, “I need not only an order for owl food and the treats, but I believe I'll take these two fellows as well. Of course, I'll need the whole setup for them. Whatever it takes. They'll be tagged as a gift and need to be delivered as I don't want to give away the surprise.”
Knowing a goldmine and boost in her commission check when she saw one, the woman smiled brightly then nodded. Quickly, she had her assistant box up the ferrets in an escape proof traveling case then began to show the obviously wealthy gentleman all the needed equipment and accessories they had for the ferrets. Actually, she was pleased to get the two monsters out of her store. They were chaos personified and had caused more problems than they were worth. The reason they were so cheap was because they had been returned by five owners so far because they couldn't be kept in a cage and generally tore the places apart. She was glad to be shut of them and wasn't about to tell the gentleman their history. All she hoped was he was enough of a softie that he wouldn't return them when he found out just how bad they were.
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"Why Me?"