Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Void	By : katiecld Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 21190 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, they belong to J. K. Rowling and I do not make any money from my stories.

Chapter List
- 1-Empty
- 2-Sear
- 3-Try
- 4-Hold
- 5-Stay
- 6-Start
- 7-Fun
- 8-Dark
- 9-Work
- 10-Ceremony
- 11-Comfort
- 12-Class
- 13-Wrath
- 14-Hate
- 15-Over
- 16-Kiss
- 17-Say
- 18-Mine
- 8
- 9
- 10
Tight...
So tight, I have to get out!
I bolted upright, not letting my brain wake properly. When my vision returned I was gasping frantically and clutching at my chest. The first thing I noticed was that I wasn't in a room I recognised and the second was that my corset was off and I only bore my black shirt and the rest of my uniform.
“You're okay.” I snapped my head up towards the direction of the voice. Snape was half through the door of the room, he was dressed in less formal day clothes and a towel hung loosely around his neck. His hair was wet and when I inspected his face, his jaw was tightened in a taught line. I instinctively tensed, the overwhelming feeling of needing to flee almost taking me over but the only way out was currently blocked by the dark wizard. I heard him sigh before the floor creaked and he made his way slowly and almost cautiously towards me, as if I might be some rare bird about to fly away. I backed up the bed a little before I noticed how badly my hand was burning, I flinched. When I looked, my injured hand was bandaged but it also felt incredibly hot. “Under the linen is treatment for your wound.” Snape said slowly. “Try and not remove it for the next six hours.” He came to a gentle stop by the bed and sat on a chair there. I stared at the door, wondering how I would leave or if he would even let me. When I glanced back at him his expression was still tense, a muscle in his jaw jumping.
“Urgh.” I stifled a painful sear as my chest throbbed, the usually dull ache was recently more manageable with my corset but without it I felt raw and open. Trying to keep my composure around Snape I simply closed my eyes, waiting for the pain to stop. I hoped that the wizard might associate my throbbing hand to why I looked so uncomfortable. I heard him shift, and when I opened my eyes slightly I saw him pointing a wand at me, I gasped. Severus suddenly withdraw it when he noticed me panic, the tense muscle in his jaw flexing again.
“I'm not... Going to hurt you.” He strained. That's when I noticed his expression wasn't one of anger, but of pain. I relaxed a little, nodding slightly while staring at the tip of his wand. He slowly flicked it, nothing happened until he started chanting.
“Oh...” It came out breathless. My body fluttered slightly, warmth spreading from my centre to the tips of my fingers and toes. It felt like tiny little hands were massaging my skin from the inside. I sighed as all my muscles tingled and pulsed. The pain in my chest seeming to melt away, getting replaced with ease and pleasure. I groaned. The massaging moved, getting stronger in certain places like my neck and lower back. After a few moments they gradually faded away, leaving my body relaxed and at total ease. Snape put his wand away before looking me over.
“We all know suffering... I said so before.” He started, running his hand through his hair. “We all find our own ways to cope.” He then nodded, looking at the ceiling. “What we believe is helping us isn't always what's best.” Snape seemed to be choosing his words carefully. “It can cause us to lose ourselves.” Several moments passed and I nodded knowingly at his insight. That's exactly how I felt.
“She's gone...” I whispered, his face remained mostly impassive. “The old Hermione is gone. I'm nothing like I used to be, I don't even remember who I used to be.” I said simply. Snape himself nodded this time, seeming to know how I felt.
“We do things we're not proud of to keep ourselves grounded. So overwhelmed with the need to feel again that we often endanger ourselves or those around us.” He related.
“We?” I asked, tilting my head to the side. The corner of his mouth twitched slightly,
“Yes, we.” Snape seemed to identify with me. “I do lose myself... I regret my actions afterwards.” He looked at me, his expression pained. I wondered if he meant what he did with me in his office, perhaps this would be an apology? I just studied my bandaged hand. The wizard finally sighed, when I looked up it seemed as though he was struggling with something.
“I know dealing with me is the last thing you want to do, but thank you for trying.” I finally smiled at him. He seemed genuinely shocked and his expression made me want to laugh. “And thanks for my hand.” I waved the banged appendage at him a little. “I don't think before I do and I don't want it to scar.” Frowning, I looked at it. He also studied it before getting up and heading to his dresser. Withdrawing a small pot, he made his way back and handed it to me. I took it and it rattled.
“They're supplements, you've been losing a decent amount of blood recently and being anaemic won't help with your work load when term starts tomorrow.” With that, he left the room.
I still didn't really know what to make of him so far, all I knew was that the wizard ran hot and cold. One minute he would be impassive yet somewhat courteous and cool, the next his demeanour would change into something cruel and dark. It swung me but I guessed I'd just have to learn the signals and know when it would be safer to have a conversation with him. It was going to be difficult but admittedly it was nice not having to hide from someone, he had a rather calm indifference about me that was more than refreshing. I was sure that he had similar troubles so perhaps it was his way of asking that I also show him the same respect, that he wasn't always going to be himself either.
I figured that what happened in his office was precisely that, I didn't get an outright apology from him but what did I really expect? The man was as stoic as they came. Conversations didn't exactly come easy to him but I did pick up on what sounded like real regret so I decided that I would let it go. After all, the wizard did fix my hand and technically I did dare him to harm me. Besides, I secretly enjoyed it.
–
Snape was sat at his desk when I re-entered the classroom. I decided I should continue with inventory, I only had until tomorrow to finish it and I had a lot to do. With the whereabouts of my corset currently unknown I undid several buttons of my shirt and rolled up my sleeves before getting to work.
Several hours passed, I wasn't sure how long exactly. My notebook was full to the brim with barely recognisable scribbles, having to wing it with my busted hand but I understood it and that's all that mattered for now. I could always re write it another time for Snape if he complained.
“Dayum I was right, you are a sexy piece with that kit on, Granger.” Came the newly familiar voice of Malfoy as he barged his way into the room. The sound made me jump out of my skin. When the realisation of what he said finally sunk in I looked at him wide eyed, then at Snape. Draco obviously didn't expect to see the professor at his desk because he looked like he was going to keel over when he finally noticed him. The older wizard was paused mid quill-stroke and looked at the intruding boy with a sort of inquisitive humour that made me want to laugh at poor Draco's expense. One of the professors eyebrows were cocked up high in a silent question.
“Uhh...” I thought the sound was coming from someone else, but it actually came from me. Malfoy looked pale.
“Umm, sorry Professor Snape, I didn't anticipate you'd be in here...” Draco trailed off.
“In my own classroom?” A hint of a smile traced the older wizards lips, I mirrored him subconsciously. “Mister Malfoy, by all means continue your conversation with Miss Granger.” He immediately went back to work at his paper, furiously scribbling. Snape's hand was lightly splattered with black ink from his hours of constant work. When I looked at Malfoy he had an obviously perplexed look on his face, like someone just hit him in the face with a lemon. After several moments he almost fell towards me and continued in a rushed whisper.
“You didn't meet me and Nev so I came to look for you.”
“Oh shit, what time is it?” I quickly looked around, my eyes never finding a clock and remembering how Snape hated them in the classroom. I grabbed Draco's wrist instead and yanked his watch towards me. “Ah crap, a whole hour late, I'm really sorry. This look longer than I thought.” I spoke normally though I could clearly see how uncomfortable Malfoy was in the potion masters presence. I backed into the supply room and gestured him to follow me for more privacy.
“Jesus... You've been in here all day? It's baking.” Draco tugged at the collar of his teaching jumper and fanned himself.
“Yeah well, it was the only thing I was assigned before term started but I've been lazy with it. Having to do most of it today to finish it off, though I'm almost done.” I started to place all the right jars and boxes in the correct areas in a new order. Hoping that Snape didn't scold me for not only taking inventory but tidying and rearranging his entire stock. The wizard hadn't yet stepped foot inside the room so I had no idea what would happen when he wished to seek out billings root and not finding it in it's previous home.
“You need any help?” Malfoy reached down and picked up a few boxes and handed me them.
“You should really go and see Neville, I'll be done in about fifteen minutes, I just need to put everything in it's place and I'll come meet you.” I smiled and took the boxes from him, he simply nodded.
“If you say so, we'll wait for you in the room of requirement. The Great Hall is being prepared for tomorrow so we can't use it.” He jabbed my arm, I agreed and he backed out of the storage room.
After about ten minutes of stacking the last few bottles and vials on the shelves and sweeping the floor, I left the small closet. Giving it a final once over before closing the door. The entire task had been one massive and thoroughly exhausting challenge, having one hand out of commission due to my stupid self injury. I picked up my stack of papers and notebooks all alphabetised with the stores inventory, they were heavy so I slowly made my way to Snape's desk and slid them onto the corner. I was surprised to see him still working there, no wonder he didn't have time to take inventory.
“Umm, I'm finished, Professor.” I informed, gesturing weakly to the impressive stack I laid before him. He looked up and took it in, picking up one or two of the top papers and giving them a once over. “I hope you don't mind but I re arranged the room slightly putting all relevant ingredients together among alphabetising everything.” I added, I heard the Professor audibly sigh.
“I didn't ask for that, Miss Granger. I simply needed you to take stock. Must you be so self satisfying that you cannot understand basic orders?” He drawled, annoyed. I suddenly felt bad for wasting my time, I only wanted it to be more organised and easier for him and me.
“Sorry... Professor, I just thought-”
“You thought wrong, it was more than fine the way it was before.” He continued to study some of my papers.
“More than fine? You're kidding. It took me three quarters of an hour to find dried toadstool. That's one of the most common ingredients!” I made some sort of annoyed hand gesture. He said nothing for the next minute to I decided that was the end of it and took the opportunity to leave for a much deserved shower. It was bordering nine thirty and I wanted to go and meet the boys before term started. The idea that I actually wanted to meet up with Malfoy was enough to make me feel dirty in some way, but it was true. I'd almost made it to his quarters when he spoke.
“Unfortunately Miss Granger you'll have to spend the rest of your evening putting the stores back how they were.” I turned slowly and walked out of his office to look at him, my anger rising.
“I can't, I have plans.” I said calmly, deciding he couldn't possibly be serious and that he was just messing with me.
“I don't care, you will correct it and that's the end of it. Go and shower, I can smell you from here.” He half spat. My face flushed and that's when I felt my anger spike.
“No way, I've done you a favour you dusty old brute! I spent the last seven hours in that claustrophobia inducing broom closet! I cleaned, sorted and took notes with one hand while I slowly boiled to death in my skin!” I screeched. I was sweaty and tired, only wanting to go take a shower and celebrate the beginning of my first year with a new and old friend.
“Speak to me like that again, Granger and I'll burn all of your notes and make you stay up all night doing it all again!” He grunted and bolted up from his desk. I instinctively backed against the door frame at the dark look in his eyes. The last time I saw that was literally earlier today when he almost choked me to death. Even the thought that I wasn't wearing my corset today didn't comfort me. I held my gaze with him, not showing any fear. “The term hasn't started yet, but don't think that I can't fire you already.” He seethed. “I'm your superior and employer, you will take orders and not cause any trouble. Or is it that you want to go back to being a common slattern, spending your evenings getting raped and beat for money?” His eyes bore into mine, his words hitting a nerve and making me shrink away. I realised he was right, as if sensing that as my submission he went back to his desk, and I went and showered.
–
After I emerged from the shower I charmed my dirty uniform clean. It had been over six hours since my hand had been bandaged and I had removed the dressing prior showering. The skin was a dark pink in the places of injury but it was smooth and sensitive, like new. I dressed into non-matching slacks, hard soled slippers and threw my wet hair up into a high bun before making my way back into the class room. Snape was still there, only he was on the other side of the room manually moving books around and re arranging the tables. I walked through the class and towards the exit, he seemed not to notice me but I knew better. My thoughts were confirmed when I head him clear his throat, when I looked he was staring at me.
“I'm sorry for re arranging the stores without your permission, Professor. I will fix my mistake.” I said calmly but truthfully. He raised his eyebrows in slight surprise. “But if you would allow, I'd really like to seek out Dra-- Mister Malfoy and Longbottom to inform them of my absence this evening, after which I will instantly make my way back here and commit myself to my task... Please.” Snape looked at me for several moments, his eyes swirling with consideration.
“Both Longbottom and Malfoy I'm sure will understand you not showing up, Miss Granger. You should start your task while you can.” He finished and turned around to continue his work. I only wanted to tell Neville and Draco that I couldn't meet with them, I even went so far as to apologise to Snape so he would let me and he still wouldn't. I wanted to be angry but I didn't have it in me. I sighed and made my way back to the storage room. When I entered, I simply stood in the middle and looked at all of my hard work before sinking to the floor. I hugged my legs in time for my chest to burn again, ripping into my soul.
“Urgh.” I plopped my head down onto my knees. Depression washing over me. What was the point in doing anything? I don't even know why I did it, it was just second nature to sort. Perhaps I just did it to cause more work and in turn distract myself from my own mind. The pain in me surged, causing me to pant out like a blow to the stomach. I just needed to get out, I just wanted to go to that run down pub, drink myself silly and find someone to take my pain away. I sobbed silently because of how disgusted I was in myself. The door opened and Snape's face came into view. I slowly got to my feet, wincing at the pain and wiping my face. Not bothering hiding my misery from him in the slightest, I turned to the side and started removing items from a shelf.
“Would you also like me to scatter herbs all over the place and stain the floor again, sir?” I said, trying to hide my sarcasm. My voice was thick from emotion but I didn't bother looking at him. After a minute or so I stole a glance, he was leaning against the door frame and staring at me. “What?” I stopped and looked at him.
“Go to bed, Miss Granger. You've done enough today, you need to rest.” With that, he left. I wandered back to my room slowly and was left feeling thoroughly confused but a large part of me was relieved I wouldn't have to spend several hours in that room. I couldn't bring myself to go and meet with Neville and Draco. Slumping down onto the bed and disturbing Crookshanks I didn't bother changing clothes, I didn't even attempt to cover myself over before falling into a dreamless sleep.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
-Sigh- I know, I know! I'm a dreadful person to have stopped for so long. Lucky for you guys I had 4 chapters already written and saved ahead so I've just read through this one and corrected most of it.
I have more to come soon I swear since they're already waiting.
Sorry again, please enjoy though.
~GW.
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